Mary Shelley's Frankenhole 2x5

Directed by David Tuber

Timid driver, Victor Frankenstein, sets out to prove he is a man by entering the big monster car race.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CARS.

2. CONFOUND THESE MODERN

3. CONTRAPTIONS!

4. YES, BUT, DARLING, COULDN'T

5. YOU SPEED UP JUST A TEENSY BIT

6. MORE?

7. I'M HUNGRY.

8. HUNGRY ENOUGH

9. FOR HOSPITAL FOOD?

10. HMM?

11. BECAUSE

12. THAT'S WHAT WE'LL BE EATING IF I

13. TRY SOMETHING DANGEROUS — LIKE

14. ACCELERATING!

15. BUT WE'VE BEEN ON OUR WAY TO

16. DINNER FOR WEEKS NOW.

17. CAREFUL, YOU

18. RECKLESS HOOLIGAN!

19. I HAD A FEELING IT WAS YOU

20. DRIVING THIS LAME JALOPY,

21. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN.

22. THAT OR MY DEAF, BLIND, OLD

23. GRANDMAMA!

24. AND SHE'S DEAD!

25. LIKE DOORKNOB.

26. HEY, BABY, WHY DON'T YOU COME

27. TAKE A RIDE IN A MAN'S CAR

28. SOMETIME?

29. MMMMM...

30. OH, PUH-LEASE.

31. YEAH, I JUST TUNED THIS BABY

32. UP FOR THE BIG MONSTER RALLY.

33. HMPH!

34. THAT STUPID RACE.

35. I DON'T KNOW.

36. I THINK RACERS ARE KIND OF...

37. SEXY.

38. WHAT?

39. EVERYONE KNOWS THERE'S NOTHING

40. SEXIER THAN A SCIENTIST!

41. HEY, LITTLE CHICKY CHICKEN.

42. WANT SOME FOOD HERE?

43. I GIVE YOU A LITTLE CORN,

44. YOU LITTLE CHICKEN.

45. UM... NO, THANK

46. YOU?

47. IS THIS A CHICKEN THING?

48. I — ARE YOU CALLING ME A

49. CHICKEN?

50. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T TELL!

51. YOU'RE RIGHT, ACTUALLY.

52. HE I A CHICKEN.

53. THAT GUY REALLY

54. ROASTS MY ASS!

55. MMM.

56. ROAST CHICKEN.

57. WHY ARE YOU

58. LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY?

59. SO POWERFUL.

60. FINE!

61. I'LL ENTER THE STUPID RACE —

62. AND WIN!

63. I'LL PROVE TO YOU AND THE WORLD

64. HOW SEXY I R-R-R-REALLY AM!

65. AAH!

66. THIS IS FORMER HOWARD COSELL.

67. WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

68. TO THIS YEAR'S MONSTER RALLY.

69. HERE TO GO OVER THE RULES,

70. PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO

71. LARRY BIRD.

72. THANK YOU.

73. MEN, YOU KNOW ME FROM MY PROWESS

74. ON THE BASKETBALL COURT.

75. BUT, LADIES, YOU PROBABLY KNOW

76. ME BETTER FROM MY FAMOUS PICKUP

77. LINE, "HI. I'M LARRY BIRD.

78. WANNA DO ME?"

79. MOVE IT ALONG, LARRY.

80. YEAH.

81. UH, WELL, NOW IT'S TIME TO

82. EXPLAIN THE RULES OF THE RACE.

83. THIS WILL BE A RACE THROUGH

84. TIME AND SPACE.

85. FOR EVERY SINGLE YEAR, YOU MUST

86. DRIVE A LAP AROUND THE EARTH,

87. BEGINNING IN THE PHANEROZOIC

88. EON, AND YOU WILL FINISH RIGHT

89. BACK HERE IN THIS SPOT,

90. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS

91. LATER, HERE IN THE PRESENT DAY,

92. 3032 A.D.

93. I-IT'S MY WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS.

94. I'LL SHOW YOU

95. SEXY.

96. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY

97. SARCOPHA-BUS?

98. I'D TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE

99. ABOUT IT, BUT I'M "ALL WRAPPED

100. UP" RIGHT NOW.

101. NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!

102. RA IS PLEASED BY THIS!

103. OH, BOY.

104. VICTOR, THIS IS MY SUN GOD,

105. RA.

106. HE'S MY COPILOT.

107. SEE?

108. I'D TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE

109. ABOUT RA, BUT I'M "ALL WRAPPED

110. UP" RIGHT NOW.

111. NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!

112. YOU HONOR RA!

113. OH, VICTOR!

114. YOU SHOWED!

115. NOW MY TRIUMPH WILL TASTE DOUBLY

116. SWEET PAIRED WITH YOUR DEFEAT.

117. RIGHT, DOM DeLUISE?

118. YOU DEFEAT?

119. YOU SHOULD SEE THE DE-FEET AT

120. THE END OF MY DE-LEGS —

121. ESPECIALLY AFTER A PEDOPHILE!

122. IT'S NOT — IT'S PEDICURE.

123. DON'T HIT ME!

124. I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN GET IT

125. RIGHT.

126. ARE WE STILL ROLLING?

127. YOUR DEFEAT?

128. YOU SHOULD SEE DE-FEET AT THE

129. END OF MY DE-LONGS!

130. I DON'T — WHAT'S A DE-LONG?

131. IF I COULD DIE, I WOULD KILL

132. MYSELF.

133. YOU DEFEAT?

134. YOU SHOULD SEE THE DE-FEET AT

135. THE END OF MY DE-LEGS —

136. ESPECIALLY AFTER A

137. PEDICURE.

138. NICE PUN!

139. I'M ALSO REALLY "WRAPPED UP" IN

140. THE WHOLE PUN THING, TOO.

141. NYUK! NYUK!

142. YOU HONOR RA AGAIN!

143. THIS RACE CAN'T

144. START FAST ENOUGH.

145. DRIVERS, START YOUR ENGINES!

146. VICTOR!

147. YOO-HOO!

148. ELIZABETH, GET

149. OFF THE TRACK!

150. WELL, YOU SILLY GOOSE.

151. I'M COMING WITH YOU.

152. AND THEY'RE OFF!

153. DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!

154. THIS ISN'T A

155. BEVERLY HILLS SHOPPING SPREE,

156. YOU KNOW.

157. GO!

158. DON'T

159. BACKSEAT-DRIVE!

160. EAT MY MOTOR DUST!

161. HA HA!

162. I'VE GOT YOU ALL LICKED!

163. DEAR LORD, NO!

164. A FULL MOON!

165. AND THE WOLFMAN HAS

166. TRANSFORMED INTO A WOLF.

167. AND THE WOLFMOBILE HAS

168. TRANSFORMED INTO A WASHING

169. MACHINE FOR SOME REASON.

170. SPEED IT UP!

171. FASTER!

172. LOOK — EVEN THE ANIMALS ARE

173. EVOLVING FASTER THAN YOU'RE

174. DRIVING!

175. SINCE WHEN DO

176. YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT RACING,

177. TOMMY?

178. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME TOMMY?

179. WELL, Y-YOU

180. KNOW — RACER — ANDRETTI.

181. IT'S MARIO ANDRETTI.

182. OH, IS THAT

183. RIGHT?

184. WELL, SINCE YOU KNOW SO

185. MUCH ABOUT RACING,

186. MRS. MR. MARIO ANDRETTI, MAYBE

187. YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE THE WHEEL

188. AND SHOW ME HOW IT'S DONE.

189. I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

190. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A MAN RACES.

191. ISN'T IT SEXY

192. HOW I'M LETTING YOU WIN THE RACE

193. FOR ME?

194. DO YOU SEE WHERE YOUR

195. ENERGY-GUZZLING HOT-RODDING HAS

196. GOTTEN US?

197. OUT OF GAS.

198. WE'RE IN A RACE!

199. OH, WILL YOU

200. SHUT UP WITH THAT?

201. YOUR WHINING HAS CAST A BLACK

202. CLOUD OVER THIS ENTIRE TRIP.

203. HOW ABOUT SOME APPRECIATION FOR

204. A HUSBAND WHO CAN GET YOU SOME

205. GAS WHEN THERE ISN'T A SERVICE

206. STATION FOR THE NEXT

207. HUNDRED MILLION YEARS?

208. DON'T JUST FOLD YOUR ARMS.

209. I WANT YOU TO GET TURNED ON —

210. THE WAY YOU DO WITH DRACULA.

211. OH, YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS...

212. TURNED ON BY YOU.

213. WELL, LET'S

214. CHECK.

215. OOH!

216. AHA! I KNEW IT!

217. DRY AS A... BONE.

218. FINALLY!

219. OH, GOOD HEAVENS!

220. AH!

221. I KNEW IT MUST HAVE BEEN

222. ELIZABETH IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT

223. WHEN I NOTICED THE DRIVING

224. BECAME MANLIER!

225. I DON'T NEED

226. HER TO WIN THIS RACE!

227. OH, IS THAT RIGHT?

228. HOW ABOUT HOPPING IN HERE

229. WITH US, SWEETCAKES?

230. AHH...

231. OH!

232. TROLLOP.

233. MAYBE I WILL, SINCE YOU DON'T

234. NEED ME.

235. THAT'S IT.

236. I'LL SHOW THEM FAST CAR DRIVING!

237. HMM.

238. THIS IS... KIND OF FUN.

239. AHA!

240. WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?

241. AH, WE'RE SO FAR AHEAD, I

242. THOUGHT MAYBE WE STOP HERE IN

243. 13th-CENTURY MANHATTAN AND SEE

244. SOME SIGHTS.

245. OH, LOOK — IS EMPIRE STATE

246. BUILDING WHEN WAS JUST A LITTLE

247. BABY!

248. THAT'S SO ADORABLE!

249. OH, LOOK!

250. THERE'S AN ITSY-BITSY KING KONG

251. ON TOP!

252. BEE BOO BOP BOO BEEP!

253. NINJA ATTACK!

254. V-V-VICTOR?

255. OKAY, IT'S ON, TRICKY

256. BITCHES!

257. OH!

258. AAAAAAH!

259. EH!

260. AAAAH!

261. OOH!

262. OH!

263. AAAH!

264. AND THEY'RE BACK!

265. IT'S DRACULA AND

266. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN IN A DEAD

267. HEAT FOR THE FINISH LINE.

268. BUT WAIT!

269. WHAT'S DRACULA'S TEAM DOING?

270. OH HO!

271. TRYING TO TRIP ME UP WITH THESE

272. HOT DOGS, EH, DRACULA?

273. WELL LITTLE DO YOU KNOW

274. THAT HOT DOGS ARE

275. FAVORITE

276. FOOD!

277. AND IT'S VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

278. FIRST ACROSS THE FINISH LINE!

279. THANK YOU!

280. OH!

281. AND LOOK WHO IS TOO SHEEPISH TO

282. CONGRATULATE ME!

283. EH, EH, EH.

284. FLEEING FROM ME

285. IN SHAME!

286. HE'S NOT FLEEING FROM YOU IN

287. SHAME, VICTOR.

288. HE'S RUNNING IN THE FOOT RACE.

289. UH, FOOT? RACE?

290. FOOT RACE!

291. WELL, HOWARD, IT WAS A TOUGH

292. RACE, BUT —

293. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE EATING,

294. YOU FOOL!

295. AHA. YES.

296. WELL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL VICTORY

297. FEAST, BUT AFTER ALL THOSE HOT

298. DOGS —

299. BUT THIS IS THE FINAL LEG OF

300. THE RALLY — THE EATING CONTEST.

301. EATING CONTEST?

302. OH, MY GOD.

303. THOSE HOT DOGS!

304. I CAN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE!

305. BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN!

306. BEHOLD...

307. MY SECRET WEAPON!

308. WHAT TO DO?

309. I CAN'T OUT-EAT THAT GUY!

310. THINK! THINK!

311. BEVERLY HILLS...

312. NINJA...

313. BLACK...

314. SHEEP...

315. TOMMY...

316. BOY...

317. WAIT A MINUTE!

318. I GOT IT! THE ANSWER!

319. IT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG!

320. CHRIS FARLEY!

321. FOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-D!

322. AND NOW WE'VE GOT AN EATING

323. CONTEST!

324. LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE MONKEYS

325. CHEW AND SWALLOW!

326. UNBELIEVABLE!

327. CHRIS IS ACTUALLY ORDERING MORE

328. FOOD.

329. EAT, MONKEY, EAT!

330. AND THE FLY HAS JUST COME IN

331. AND VOMITED ON HIS OWN FOOD.

332. AND FARLEY MIMICS THE FLY!

333. AND FARLEY EATS THE FLY AND

334. TAKES THE LEAD.

335. LOOK AT ME GO!

336. I'M WINNING THE RALLY!

337. COME ON, DeLUISE!

338. VOMIT, LIKE THE OTHER GUY!

339. IT'S NO USE.

340. I COULD NEVER THROW UP.

341. MY DUMB, FAT BODY JUST REFUSES

342. TO LET FOOD GO BYE-BYE.

343. I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A POOPY.

344. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE

345. CHAMPION OF THE MONSTER RALLY

346. IS...

347. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN!

348. WHOO!

349. I WON!

350. OOH, I LOVE YOU,

351. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN.

352. OHH. MM.