1. CARS.
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2. CONFOUND THESE MODERN
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3. CONTRAPTIONS!
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4. YES, BUT, DARLING, COULDN'T
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5. YOU SPEED UP JUST A TEENSY BIT
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6. MORE?
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7. I'M HUNGRY.
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8. HUNGRY ENOUGH
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9. FOR HOSPITAL FOOD?
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10. HMM?
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11. BECAUSE
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12. THAT'S WHAT WE'LL BE EATING IF I
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13. TRY SOMETHING DANGEROUS — LIKE
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14. ACCELERATING!
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15. BUT WE'VE BEEN ON OUR WAY TO
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16. DINNER FOR WEEKS NOW.
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17. CAREFUL, YOU
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18. RECKLESS HOOLIGAN!
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19. I HAD A FEELING IT WAS YOU
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20. DRIVING THIS LAME JALOPY,
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21. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN.
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22. THAT OR MY DEAF, BLIND, OLD
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23. GRANDMAMA!
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24. AND SHE'S DEAD!
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25. LIKE DOORKNOB.
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26. HEY, BABY, WHY DON'T YOU COME
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27. TAKE A RIDE IN A MAN'S CAR
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28. SOMETIME?
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29. MMMMM...
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30. OH, PUH-LEASE.
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31. YEAH, I JUST TUNED THIS BABY
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32. UP FOR THE BIG MONSTER RALLY.
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33. HMPH!
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34. THAT STUPID RACE.
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35. I DON'T KNOW.
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36. I THINK RACERS ARE KIND OF...
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37. SEXY.
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38. WHAT?
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39. EVERYONE KNOWS THERE'S NOTHING
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40. SEXIER THAN A SCIENTIST!
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41. HEY, LITTLE CHICKY CHICKEN.
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42. WANT SOME FOOD HERE?
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43. I GIVE YOU A LITTLE CORN,
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44. YOU LITTLE CHICKEN.
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45. UM... NO, THANK
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46. YOU?
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47. IS THIS A CHICKEN THING?
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48. I — ARE YOU CALLING ME A
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49. CHICKEN?
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50. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T TELL!
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51. YOU'RE RIGHT, ACTUALLY.
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52. HE I A CHICKEN.
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53. THAT GUY REALLY
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54. ROASTS MY ASS!
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55. MMM.
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56. ROAST CHICKEN.
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57. WHY ARE YOU
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58. LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY?
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59. SO POWERFUL.
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60. FINE!
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61. I'LL ENTER THE STUPID RACE —
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62. AND WIN!
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63. I'LL PROVE TO YOU AND THE WORLD
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64. HOW SEXY I R-R-R-REALLY AM!
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65. AAH!
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66. THIS IS FORMER HOWARD COSELL.
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67. WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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68. TO THIS YEAR'S MONSTER RALLY.
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69. HERE TO GO OVER THE RULES,
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70. PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO
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71. LARRY BIRD.
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72. THANK YOU.
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73. MEN, YOU KNOW ME FROM MY PROWESS
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74. ON THE BASKETBALL COURT.
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75. BUT, LADIES, YOU PROBABLY KNOW
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76. ME BETTER FROM MY FAMOUS PICKUP
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77. LINE, "HI. I'M LARRY BIRD.
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78. WANNA DO ME?"
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79. MOVE IT ALONG, LARRY.
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80. YEAH.
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81. UH, WELL, NOW IT'S TIME TO
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82. EXPLAIN THE RULES OF THE RACE.
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83. THIS WILL BE A RACE THROUGH
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84. TIME AND SPACE.
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85. FOR EVERY SINGLE YEAR, YOU MUST
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86. DRIVE A LAP AROUND THE EARTH,
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87. BEGINNING IN THE PHANEROZOIC
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88. EON, AND YOU WILL FINISH RIGHT
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89. BACK HERE IN THIS SPOT,
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90. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS
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91. LATER, HERE IN THE PRESENT DAY,
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92. 3032 A.D.
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93. I-IT'S MY WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS.
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94. I'LL SHOW YOU
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95. SEXY.
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96. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY
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97. SARCOPHA-BUS?
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98. I'D TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE
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99. ABOUT IT, BUT I'M "ALL WRAPPED
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100. UP" RIGHT NOW.
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101. NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!
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102. RA IS PLEASED BY THIS!
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103. OH, BOY.
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104. VICTOR, THIS IS MY SUN GOD,
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105. RA.
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106. HE'S MY COPILOT.
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107. SEE?
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108. I'D TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE
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109. ABOUT RA, BUT I'M "ALL WRAPPED
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110. UP" RIGHT NOW.
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111. NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!
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112. YOU HONOR RA!
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113. OH, VICTOR!
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114. YOU SHOWED!
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115. NOW MY TRIUMPH WILL TASTE DOUBLY
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116. SWEET PAIRED WITH YOUR DEFEAT.
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117. RIGHT, DOM DeLUISE?
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118. YOU DEFEAT?
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119. YOU SHOULD SEE THE DE-FEET AT
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120. THE END OF MY DE-LEGS —
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121. ESPECIALLY AFTER A PEDOPHILE!
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122. IT'S NOT — IT'S PEDICURE.
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123. DON'T HIT ME!
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124. I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN GET IT
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125. RIGHT.
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126. ARE WE STILL ROLLING?
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127. YOUR DEFEAT?
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128. YOU SHOULD SEE DE-FEET AT THE
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129. END OF MY DE-LONGS!
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130. I DON'T — WHAT'S A DE-LONG?
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131. IF I COULD DIE, I WOULD KILL
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132. MYSELF.
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133. YOU DEFEAT?
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134. YOU SHOULD SEE THE DE-FEET AT
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135. THE END OF MY DE-LEGS —
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136. ESPECIALLY AFTER A
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137. PEDICURE.
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138. NICE PUN!
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139. I'M ALSO REALLY "WRAPPED UP" IN
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140. THE WHOLE PUN THING, TOO.
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141. NYUK! NYUK!
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142. YOU HONOR RA AGAIN!
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143. THIS RACE CAN'T
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144. START FAST ENOUGH.
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145. DRIVERS, START YOUR ENGINES!
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146. VICTOR!
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147. YOO-HOO!
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148. ELIZABETH, GET
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149. OFF THE TRACK!
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150. WELL, YOU SILLY GOOSE.
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151. I'M COMING WITH YOU.
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152. AND THEY'RE OFF!
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153. DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!
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154. THIS ISN'T A
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155. BEVERLY HILLS SHOPPING SPREE,
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156. YOU KNOW.
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157. GO!
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158. DON'T
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159. BACKSEAT-DRIVE!
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160. EAT MY MOTOR DUST!
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161. HA HA!
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162. I'VE GOT YOU ALL LICKED!
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163. DEAR LORD, NO!
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164. A FULL MOON!
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165. AND THE WOLFMAN HAS
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166. TRANSFORMED INTO A WOLF.
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167. AND THE WOLFMOBILE HAS
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168. TRANSFORMED INTO A WASHING
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169. MACHINE FOR SOME REASON.
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170. SPEED IT UP!
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171. FASTER!
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172. LOOK — EVEN THE ANIMALS ARE
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173. EVOLVING FASTER THAN YOU'RE
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174. DRIVING!
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175. SINCE WHEN DO
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176. YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT RACING,
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177. TOMMY?
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178. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME TOMMY?
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179. WELL, Y-YOU
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180. KNOW — RACER — ANDRETTI.
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181. IT'S MARIO ANDRETTI.
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182. OH, IS THAT
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183. RIGHT?
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184. WELL, SINCE YOU KNOW SO
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185. MUCH ABOUT RACING,
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186. MRS. MR. MARIO ANDRETTI, MAYBE
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187. YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE THE WHEEL
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188. AND SHOW ME HOW IT'S DONE.
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189. I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
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190. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A MAN RACES.
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191. ISN'T IT SEXY
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192. HOW I'M LETTING YOU WIN THE RACE
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193. FOR ME?
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194. DO YOU SEE WHERE YOUR
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195. ENERGY-GUZZLING HOT-RODDING HAS
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196. GOTTEN US?
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197. OUT OF GAS.
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198. WE'RE IN A RACE!
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199. OH, WILL YOU
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200. SHUT UP WITH THAT?
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201. YOUR WHINING HAS CAST A BLACK
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202. CLOUD OVER THIS ENTIRE TRIP.
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203. HOW ABOUT SOME APPRECIATION FOR
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204. A HUSBAND WHO CAN GET YOU SOME
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205. GAS WHEN THERE ISN'T A SERVICE
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206. STATION FOR THE NEXT
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207. HUNDRED MILLION YEARS?
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208. DON'T JUST FOLD YOUR ARMS.
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209. I WANT YOU TO GET TURNED ON —
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210. THE WAY YOU DO WITH DRACULA.
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211. OH, YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS...
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212. TURNED ON BY YOU.
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213. WELL, LET'S
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214. CHECK.
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215. OOH!
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216. AHA! I KNEW IT!
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217. DRY AS A... BONE.
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218. FINALLY!
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219. OH, GOOD HEAVENS!
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220. AH!
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221. I KNEW IT MUST HAVE BEEN
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222. ELIZABETH IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT
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223. WHEN I NOTICED THE DRIVING
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224. BECAME MANLIER!
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225. I DON'T NEED
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226. HER TO WIN THIS RACE!
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227. OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
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228. HOW ABOUT HOPPING IN HERE
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229. WITH US, SWEETCAKES?
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230. AHH...
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231. OH!
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232. TROLLOP.
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233. MAYBE I WILL, SINCE YOU DON'T
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234. NEED ME.
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235. THAT'S IT.
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236. I'LL SHOW THEM FAST CAR DRIVING!
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237. HMM.
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238. THIS IS... KIND OF FUN.
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239. AHA!
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240. WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?
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241. AH, WE'RE SO FAR AHEAD, I
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242. THOUGHT MAYBE WE STOP HERE IN
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243. 13th-CENTURY MANHATTAN AND SEE
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244. SOME SIGHTS.
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245. OH, LOOK — IS EMPIRE STATE
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246. BUILDING WHEN WAS JUST A LITTLE
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247. BABY!
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248. THAT'S SO ADORABLE!
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249. OH, LOOK!
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250. THERE'S AN ITSY-BITSY KING KONG
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251. ON TOP!
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252. BEE BOO BOP BOO BEEP!
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253. NINJA ATTACK!
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254. V-V-VICTOR?
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255. OKAY, IT'S ON, TRICKY
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256. BITCHES!
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257. OH!
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258. AAAAAAH!
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259. EH!
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260. AAAAH!
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261. OOH!
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262. OH!
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263. AAAH!
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264. AND THEY'RE BACK!
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265. IT'S DRACULA AND
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266. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN IN A DEAD
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267. HEAT FOR THE FINISH LINE.
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268. BUT WAIT!
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269. WHAT'S DRACULA'S TEAM DOING?
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270. OH HO!
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271. TRYING TO TRIP ME UP WITH THESE
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272. HOT DOGS, EH, DRACULA?
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273. WELL LITTLE DO YOU KNOW
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274. THAT HOT DOGS ARE
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275. MY FAVORITE
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276. FOOD!
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277. AND IT'S VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN
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278. FIRST ACROSS THE FINISH LINE!
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279. THANK YOU!
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280. OH!
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281. AND LOOK WHO IS TOO SHEEPISH TO
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282. CONGRATULATE ME!
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283. EH, EH, EH.
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284. FLEEING FROM ME
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285. IN SHAME!
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286. HE'S NOT FLEEING FROM YOU IN
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287. SHAME, VICTOR.
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288. HE'S RUNNING IN THE FOOT RACE.
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289. UH, FOOT? RACE?
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290. FOOT RACE!
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291. WELL, HOWARD, IT WAS A TOUGH
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292. RACE, BUT —
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293. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE EATING,
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294. YOU FOOL!
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295. AHA. YES.
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296. WELL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL VICTORY
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297. FEAST, BUT AFTER ALL THOSE HOT
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298. DOGS —
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299. BUT THIS IS THE FINAL LEG OF
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300. THE RALLY — THE EATING CONTEST.
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301. EATING CONTEST?
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302. OH, MY GOD.
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303. THOSE HOT DOGS!
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304. I CAN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE!
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305. BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN!
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306. BEHOLD...
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307. MY SECRET WEAPON!
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308. WHAT TO DO?
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309. I CAN'T OUT-EAT THAT GUY!
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310. THINK! THINK!
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311. BEVERLY HILLS...
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312. NINJA...
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313. BLACK...
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314. SHEEP...
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315. TOMMY...
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316. BOY...
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317. WAIT A MINUTE!
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318. I GOT IT! THE ANSWER!
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319. IT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG!
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320. CHRIS FARLEY!
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321. FOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-D!
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322. AND NOW WE'VE GOT AN EATING
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323. CONTEST!
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324. LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE MONKEYS
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325. CHEW AND SWALLOW!
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326. UNBELIEVABLE!
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327. CHRIS IS ACTUALLY ORDERING MORE
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328. FOOD.
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329. EAT, MONKEY, EAT!
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330. AND THE FLY HAS JUST COME IN
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331. AND VOMITED ON HIS OWN FOOD.
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332. AND FARLEY MIMICS THE FLY!
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333. AND FARLEY EATS THE FLY AND
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334. TAKES THE LEAD.
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335. LOOK AT ME GO!
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336. I'M WINNING THE RALLY!
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337. COME ON, DeLUISE!
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338. VOMIT, LIKE THE OTHER GUY!
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339. IT'S NO USE.
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340. I COULD NEVER THROW UP.
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341. MY DUMB, FAT BODY JUST REFUSES
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342. TO LET FOOD GO BYE-BYE.
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343. I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A POOPY.
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344. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE
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345. CHAMPION OF THE MONSTER RALLY
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346. IS...
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347. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN!
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348. WHOO!
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349. I WON!
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350. OOH, I LOVE YOU,
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351. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN.
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352. OHH. MM.
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