Mary Shelley's Frankenhole 2x4

Directed by Douglas Avery

Peter Blood as John Hancock (voice)

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. OH, NO!

2. NO, DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE, YOU

3. LADY, YOU!

4. YOU'RE GONNA GET STAKED,

5. MAMA.

6. YOU'RE RIGHT,

7. COUNT AFRICAN AMERICULA.

8. THIS CHICK MUST HAVE NINE LIVES.

9. ONE LIFE!

10. TWO LIVES!

11. THREE LIVES!

12. MY HEAD IS

13. GOING TO EXPLODE IF THEY DON'T

14. SHUT UP!

15. NOW, NOW, VICTOR.

16. WHAT IS IT WITH

17. VAMPIRES THAT THEY HAVE TO

18. ALWAYS YELL BACK AT MOVIES?

19. IT'S NOT ALWAYS JUST

20. VAMPIRES.

21. ALWAYS!

22. THEY ARE RUINING THE MOVIES!

23. "ATTACK OF THE MONSTER

24. KILLERS 5"?

25. IT'S GOING TO END JUST LIKE

26. EVERY OTHER "ATTACK OF THE

27. MONSTER KILLERS" MOVIE.

28. EVERYONE WILL —

29. AAH!

30. NAH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

31. NAH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

32. OH, STOP THAT.

33. WELL, DON'T

34. TELL ME WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

35. YOU DESERVE THAT, YOU SOGGY

36. FLAKE!

37. HOO LA-A-A-A!

38. THAT IS THE

39. LAST STRAW.

40. SHUT UP!

41. WATCH WHO YOU'RE MESSING

42. WITH, FRANKEN-STUPID-STEIN.

43. MY FRIEND HERE IS A

44. SERIAL VAMPIRE.

45. THAT'S RIGHT.

46. I AM COUNT CHOCOLATEY — PART OF

47. A NUTRITIOUS BREAKFAST.

48. MA-AH!

49. LOOK, I'VE HAD

50. ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU...

51. NIGHTWALKERS!

52. YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THE "N"

53. WORD, PAL.

54. YEAH, ONLY WE CAN CALL EACH

55. OTHER THAT.

56. YES, WELL...

57. BE THAT AS IT MAY...

58. WILL YOU PARK YOUR KEISTER,

59. MEISTER, SO THE FOLKS BEHIND YOU

60. CAN ENJOY THE FLICKERINO?

61. YOU WORK HERE?

62. IS A BEAR CATHOLIC, BRAH?

63. WELL, I WANT

64. YOU TO EJECT THESE LOUDMOUTH

65. VAMPIRES FROM THIS ESTABLISHMENT

66. THIS INSTANT.

67. NO CAN DO, BROLISSIMO.

68. MY MOVIE THEATER DOES NOT

69. DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANY PAYING

70. CUSTOMER, REGARDLESS OF RACE,

71. CREATURE, OR COLOR.

72. BUT THEY ARE

73. RUINING THIS MOVIE FOR ME AND MY

74. WIFE.

75. OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

76. LIKE SHE WOULD GO BACK DOWN INTO

77. THAT BASEMENT.

78. GUESS YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED,

79. BRAH.

80. YES, AND I,

81. COUNT ALONGWITHME, WILL COUNT

82. HOW OUTNUMBERED YOU ARE.

83. ONE!

84. TWO!

85. THREE!

86. THAT DOES IT!

87. THESE VAMPIRES...

88. NEED TO DIE.

89. AAH!

90. JOE, YOU'VE GOT

91. TO KILL SOME VAMPIRES FOR ME.

92. BE QUIET, VICTOR.

93. I'M ABOUT TO KILL ONE FOR ME,

94. DUDE.

95. OH. ZIP.

96. VAMPIRE GANDHI, IN THE SPIRIT

97. OF MY FOREFATHERS BACK IN THE

98. COLONIAL DAYS OF THE GREATEST

99. COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, THE U.S.

100. OF FRICKIN' A., I FREE YOU FROM

101. THE ENSLAVEMENT OF THE UNDEAD.

102. TO PARAPHRASE MY PERSONAL HERO,

103. PATRICK HENRY, GIVE ME LIBERTY

104. FROM VAMPIRISM OR GIMME A BREAK,

105. MAN.

106. OH, PLEASE. A-DON'T KILL ME.

107. I LOVE-A THE FOUNDING FATHERS,

108. TOO.

109. WHO WERE THEY?

110. OH, YEAH!

111. GEORGE WASHINGTON AND

112. JOHN HANCOCK — OH, YES, HE'S A

113. GOOD ONE.

114. SHUT YOUR HOLE!

115. DON'T YOU SOIL THEIR GREAT NAMES

116. WITH YOUR FANG MOUTH, YOU

117. BLOOD-GUZZLIN' CREEP.

118. YAH!

119. AAH!

120. WHAT THE SAM HILL?

121. VAMPIRE HUNTING IS MURDER.

122. SO, WHAT?

123. I GOT A LICENSE, BITCH.

124. PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL

125. TREATMENT OF THE UNDEAD DON'T

126. CARE ABOUT YOUR DEATH

127. CERTIFICATE.

128. AND YOU ARE NOW MARKED WITH

129. BLOOD SO EVERYONE KNOWS YOU FOR

130. THE MURDERER YOU ARE.

131. HA!

132. YOU THINK I AIN'T USED TO A

133. LITTLE BLOOD?

134. I'M A VAMPIRE HUNTER.

135. TOO BAD.

136. SUCH A DELICIOUS WASTE OF HUMAN

137. BLOOD.

138. HEY, THAT'S-A NOT-A DELICIOUS-A

139. BLOOD.

140. THAT'S A WOMAN'S A-PERIOD! YUCK!

141. MENSTRUAL BLOOD?

142. OH, MAN.

143. I'M GONNA GET SICK.

144. ♪ MM MM-MM-MM

145. WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER

146. WITH YOU, MAN?

147. ♪ MM-MM

148. OH, YEAH.

149. UNZIP ALREADY.

150. UNZIP!

151. OH, THANKS.

152. BOY, DO I

153. HAVE A FUN VAMPIRE-KILLING JOB

154. FOR YOU!

155. NO CAN DO, VICTOR.

156. NOT WITH THOSE CRAZY BITCHES

157. THROWIN' THEIR TIME-OF-THE-MONTH

158. ALL OVER ME.

159. OH, MAN. I NEED A DRINK.

160. NO, JOE! WAIT!

161. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GET RID OF

162. THESE LOUDMOUTH VAMPIRES.

163. I'M AFRAID MY VAMPIRE-HUNTIN'

164. DAYS IS OVER.

165. OH, PLEASE,

166. JOE.

167. VAMPIRES ARE THE WORST.

168. I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO ENJOY A

169. MOVIE AGAIN IF YOU DON'T DESTROY

170. THEM.

171. YEAH, BUT AS LONG AS THOSE

172. P.E.T.U. BUSYBODIES ARE DOUSIN'

173. MY ASS, YOUR LITTLE DILEMMA'S

174. GONNA HAVE TO WAIT.

175. WELL, WHY DON'T

176. YOU JUST KILL THEM?

177. I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WON'T BE

178. MISSED.

179. DUDE, I'M A VAMPIRE HUNTER.

180. I CAN'T KILL NO HUMAN.

181. OH, SURE YOU

182. CAN.

183. STAKES THROUGH THE HEARTS WORK

184. ON ANYONE.

185. THEY'RE EVERGREEN.

186. I MEAN LEGALLY, YOU IDIOT.

187. ALL RIGHT, ALL

188. RIGHT.

189. NO NEED TO GET UPSET.

190. JUST TOO BAD THEY AIN'T

191. VAMPIRES, 'CAUSE I'D STAKE 'EM

192. WITH PLEASURE.

193. JOE! THAT'S IT!

194. THAT'S THE ANSWER!

195. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS —

196. HEY, FRANKENSTEIN, RIGHT?

197. NOW WHAT?

198. I JUST WANTED TO SAY, YOU

199. KNOW MY PAL THOMAS JEFFERSON.

200. YEAH, YEAH, IT

201. RINGS A BELL.

202. LOOK, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF

203. SOMETHING, OKAY?

204. OH, OKAY. NO PROBS.

205. GEEZ.

206. LOUSY FRANKENHOLES.

207. I'M GONNA START PLUGGING THOSE

208. THINGS UP.

209. ANYWAY, JOE, THE ANSWER IS —

210. THAT WAS JOHN HANCOCK, YOU

211. IGNORAMUS!

212. THE SIGNATURE

213. GUY?

214. YEAH, THE DAMN SIGNATURE GUY

215. OF THE DECLARATION OF

216. INDEPENDENCE.

217. I'M GONNA GO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH!

218. HMM, BOY.

219. THAT VAMPIRE HUNTER SURE IS GAY

220. FOR THOSE FOUNDING FATHERS, HUH?

221. HUH?

222. OH, OH, Y-YEAH.

223. GOOD TO KNOW.

224. LOOKY THAT, MAN.

225. IT'S LUCKY I HAD AN OLD GLORY ON

226. ME.

227. OH, WELL, YEAH.

228. ANYWAY, JOE, THE ANSWER TO THIS

229. WHOLE P.E.T.U. DILEMMA IS TO GET

230. THE VAMPIRES TO INFLICT P.E.T.U,

231. WITH VAMPIRISM.

232. THEN YOU'LL KILL P.E.T.U. SO

233. THEY CAN'T DOUSE YOU WITH

234. MENSTRUAL BLOOD ANYMORE.

235. THEN YOU CAN FINALLY KILL THE

236. REGULAR VAMPIRES SO I CAN WATCH

237. MOVIES IN PEACE!

238. ARE YOU NUTS?

239. VAMPIRES AIN'T NEVER GONNA

240. DISABLE THEIR OWN PROTECTORS!

241. YOU WILL?

242. WE WILL?

243. YES.

244. WE'LL MEET YOU OUTSIDE THE

245. TORCH & PITCHFORK AFTER THE

246. MOVIE'S OVER.

247. THEN, YOU PRETEND TO TRY TO KILL

248. US.

249. WHEN P.E.T.U. JUMPS OUT, WE'LL

250. MAKE SURE THEY'RE FANGED BEFORE

251. YOU GET DOUSED WITH THE BLOOD.

252. GREAT!

253. ARE YOU NUTS?

254. WHY WOULD WE DISABLE OUR OWN

255. PROTECTORS?

256. BLAAH!

257. BECAUSE WE'RE VAMPIRES.

258. WE LOV BITING HUMANS, REMEMBER?

259. OH, YEAH.

260. HE'S RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

261. OH, YEAH. WE LOVE THEM.

262. HEY, A-FELLAS.

263. I GOT A PLAN TO DRIVE-A THAT

264. VAMPIRE HUNTER CUCKOO!

265. WOW.

266. THIS IS GETTING REALLY GOOD NOW.

267. MM-HMM.

268. OH, BOY, JOE!

269. THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST!

270. FINALLY, NICE QUIET MOVIE

271. THEATERS.

272. OOH, IT'S GOT ME ALL

273. GOOSE-PIMPLY.

274. I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

275. THERE'S SOMETHIN' ABOUT THESE

276. CUNNING BASTARDS FALLIN' FOR

277. THIS TRICK SO FAST.

278. I'M TELLIN' YOU, IF I WAS A

279. JACKRABBIT, MY EARS WOULD BE

280. STICKIN' STRAIGHT UP RIGHT NOW.

281. OH, WHAT COULD

282. GO WRONG?

283. HERE THEY COME NOW.

284. GET READY, JOE.

285. OKAY, BUT THIS STILL DON'T

286. FEEL RIGHT.

287. GET READY TO DIE, YOU UNHOLY

288. VARMINTS!

289. GET

290. THEM!

291. N-O-O-O!

292. WHY?

293. YOU RUTHLESS NECK JOCKEYS!

294. WHY, OF ALL PEOPLE, DID YOU HAVE

295. TO CURSE THE BLESSED AMERICAN

296. FOUNDING FATHERS?

297. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU.

298. YOU'RE A VAMPIRE HUNTER, IDIOT.

299. GANDHI, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

300. OH-HO. IT'S NOT SO BAD, JOE.

301. AT LEAST NOW WE GET TO LIVE

302. FOREVER.

303. YEAH, JOE.

304. YOU WANT US TO LIVE FOREVER,

305. DON'T YOU?

306. YOU BOYS ALWAYS LIVED

307. FOREVER — RIGHT HERE, RIGHT

308. SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF MY

309. PATRIOTIC TICKER.

310. YOU DIDN'T NEED TO BE A BUNCH OF

311. VAMPIRES.

312. YOUR IMMORTALITY WAS WRITTEN IN

313. THE HISTORY BOOKS, NOT IN THE

314. BOOK OF THE FRIGGIN' UNDEAD.

315. WELL, ANYWAY, YOU WOULDN'T

316. KILL THE FATHER OF YOUR COUNTRY,

317. WOULD YOU, JOE, JUST BECAUSE I

318. HAVE WOODEN FANGS?

319. WELL, GENERAL WASHINGTON, I

320. GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE ABOUT TO

321. FIND OUT.

322. YAY!

323. JOHN ADAMS! OHHHH!

324. YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST.

325. I'M SORRY, THOMAS PAINE.

326. OH, WHAT AM I

327. DOING?

328. I JUST BURNT GEORGE WASHINGTON

329. WITH HOLY WATER.

330. I'M AFRAID MY VAMPIRE-HUNTIN'

331. DAYS IS REALLY OVER NOW.

332. NO, JOE!

333. Y-YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!

334. WHAT ABOUT YOUR CODE OF ETHICS,

335. YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT IS

336. RIGHT?

337. HOW AM I EVER GOING TO WATCH A

338. MOVIE IN PEACE AND QUIET AGAIN?

339. YOU WON'T. THAT'S HOW.

340. COME ON, GANG.

341. LET'S CATCH A FLICK.

342. YEAH, LET'S GO.

343. I LOVE THE MOVIES.

344. WELL...

345. WHERE ARE YOU

346. GOING, JOE?

347. I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK,

348. MAN.

349. IN THE MEANTIME, I HEAR THERE'S

350. A SEQUEL TO "ATTACK OF THE

351. MONSTER KILLERS 5."

352. I THINK THEY CALLED IT

353. "ATTACK OF THE MONSTER KILLERS

354. 5, PART 2."

355. WAIT FOR ME,

356. JOE.

357. NOW YOU'LL SEE HOW INFURIATING

358. THESE VAMPIRES ARE FIRSTHAND.

359. OH, NO! DON'T GO IN THERE!

360. OF COURSE SHE

361. WILL — THE DUNCE.

362. AH, YOU A LOSER.

363. HEY, THIS IS FUN.

364. YOU BLOODSUCKERS AIN'T SO BAD.

365. YOU EITHER, JOE.

366. YES, I CAN COUNT SEVERAL

367. THINGS I LIKE ABOUT YOU.

368. ONE THING.

369. TWO — TWO THINGS.

370. THREE — THREE THINGS.

371. NO, WAIT. NO, WAIT.

372. FOUR — FOUR THINGS I LIKE ABOUT

373. YOU!

374. OH, OH, OH, WHAT'S THIS?

375. FIVE! FIVE THINGS!

376. SIX — SIX THINGS!

377. SIX VERY LIKEABLE THINGS.

378. OH. OH. OH.

379. SEVEN! SEVEN THINGS!

380. SEVEN THINGS!

381. A-ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE,

382. SIX, SEVEN.

383. OH.

384. OH.

385. EIGHT! EIGHT THINGS!

386. OHHHH, MY GOD!