Mary Shelley's Frankenhole 1x9

Directed by Duke Johnson

Andy Dick as Jesus Christ (voice)

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. ELIZABETH, WILL

2. YOU MARRY ME?

3. NOW?

4. VICTOR, THIS IS MY WEDDING

5. RECEPTION, AND I LOVE

6. HENRY CLERVAL.

7. BUT I'M BETTER!

8. NOT FOR ME!

9. AH, MY BRIDE AND MY BEST

10. FRIEND — THE PERFECT MOMENT FOR

11. A TOAST.

12. DARLING.

13. A LONG LIFE!

14. TO THE THREE OF US!

15. TO THE THREE OF US!

16. TWO OUT OF

17. THREE OF US!

18. OH, GOODBYE, MY DARLING.

19. HOW 'BOUT NOW?

20. MY HUSBAND HAS JUST DIED!

21. IT'S ALWAYS

22. SOMETHING WITH YOU.

23. BY GIVING ME THAT ELIXIR, YOU

24. SLOWLY MURDERED HENRY WITH OLD

25. AGE!

26. YES, AND, LIKE

27. HIM, EVERY OTHER MAN YOU LOVE

28. WILL DIE — EXCEPT ME.

29. VICTOR, AT LEAST GIVE ME A

30. LITTLE TIME.

31. THAT, I'VE GOT!

32. AAH!

33. HOW ABOUT NOW?

34. OH, ALL RIGHT!

35. DO YOU,

36. ELIZABETH MIZOGUCHI, TAKE

37. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN TO BE YOUR

38. LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND FOR ALL

39. ETERNITY?

40. LITERALLY?

41. I FINALLY DO.

42. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU

43. MAN AND WIFE.

44. HEY!

45. I'M SUDDENLY...

46. SO BORED.

47. WELL.

48. WHY DO YOU LOOK SO CHIPPER?

49. DO I?

50. QUITE RIGHT.

51. NO IDEA, THOUGH.

52. I MEAN, ELIZABETH'S BEEN

53. IMPOSSIBLE LATELY.

54. IT IS THAT TIME OF

55. THE YEAR AGAIN.

56. OF THE YEAR?

57. POOR POLIDOLLY.

58. BRILLIANT SCIENTIST, BUT FAR TOO

59. QUEER TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A

60. LADY'S TOILET AREA.

61. I WAS REFERRING TO

62. YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

63. OH, THAT.

64. WELL, ANNIVERSARIES USUALLY PASS

65. WITHOUT TOO MUCH DRAMA.

66. ALL YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO IS

67. IGNORE THEM.

68. NOT THIS TIME, MY

69. LAD.

70. BY MY CALCULATIONS, THIS IS YOUR

71. 1,000th.

72. ALREADY?

73. BALLS!

74. WELL, I'M SURE YGOR HAS IT ALL

75. COVERED.

76. REALLY?

77. OH, HE'S VERY

78. GOOD.

79. WATCH.

80. YGOR.

81. YES, MASTER?

82. JUST WANTED TO

83. TOUCH BASE ON A FEW MATTERS I

84. NEED DOING.

85. HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT MY

86. FAVORITE COLOR IS?

87. NO. NOT YET.

88. YOU'RE LEANING TOWARD BLUE,

89. THOUGH.

90. I SEE.

91. HOW ABOUT MY THROAT?

92. HAVE YOU CLEARED THAT YET?

93. AH.

94. I WAS JUST GETTING TO IT.

95. THERE — DONE.

96. AND, UH, DID

97. YOU GET MY WIFE AN ANNIVERSARY

98. PRESENT?

99. UH-OH.

100. IS THAT THIS YEAR?

101. FANTASTIC!

102. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE

103. AROUND HERE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT

104. YOURSELF!

105. OUT, YOU FOOL!

106. AND DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A CRAP

107. FOR ME BEFORE DINNER!

108. YOU GOT

109. IT!

110. LET'S SEE.

111. 50 IS GOLD.

112. 1,000 IS...

113. WAYNE NEWTON?

114. HOW DARE YOU COME IN LATE FOR

115. OUR 1,000th ANNIVERSARY?

116. HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW HARD I'VE

117. SLAVED IN THE KITCHEN, TELLING

118. THE COOK EXACTLY HOW YOU LIKE

119. YOUR MEAT?

120. AND WHAT'S THIS?

121. TA-DA!

122. IT'S A WAYNE NEWTON

123. IMPERSONATOR.

124. HAPPY 1,000th, DARLING!

125. HEY. DANKE SCHOEN.

126. WHERE'S THE REAL WAYNE NEWTON

127. IMPERSONATOR?

128. HOW DO YOU KNOW

129. SO MUCH ABOUT WAYNE NEWTON'S

130. IMPERSONATORS?

131. WELL, LOOK AT HIM!

132. HE'S A FAT CHINESE HIPPIE!

133. HEY, I-I'M RIGHT HERE, MAN.

134. VICTOR, I'M LEAVING —

135. FOREVER!

136. HOW DID IT GO?

137. IT WAS A

138. BLOODBATH.

139. SO IT WAS GOOD?

140. NO.

141. SHE LEFT ME.

142. SO IT WAS BAD?

143. NO.

144. IT WAS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD.

145. I FEEL NOTHING.

146. I'M SURE THE FAT

147. CHINESE HIPPIE DIDN'T HELP.

148. JAPANESE!

149. REALLY?

150. I'M CONFUSED,

151. POLIDORI.

152. I USED TO LOVE ELIZABETH.

153. THE ELIZABETH THAT

154. WAS COMPLETELY INDIFFERENT TO

155. YOU.

156. YEAH — HER.

157. OH, GOD, SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

158. WAY BACK THEN.

159. AND UNCARING AND COLD AND SO

160. VA-VA-VA IN LOVE WITH OTHER MEN!

161. AH, BUT THAT WAS ALL BEFORE I

162. RUINED EVERYTHING!

163. THAT ELIZABETH IS

164. STILL THERE IN THE PAST, YOU

165. KNOW.

166. I COULDN'T!

167. THAT WOULD BE... BENEATH ME.

168. DO YOU THINK?

169. ALL RIGHT,

170. LOOK, I'VE BEEN AN ARROGANT,

171. GOOD-LOOKING, GENIUS BASTARD.

172. I ADMIT IT.

173. DON'T BE SO HARD ON

174. YOURSELF.

175. BUT ONE THING

176. I'M NOT IS A CHEAT!

177. CHEATING IMPLIES WEAKNESS!

178. I SAY UNTO YOU...

179. BLESSED ARE THE MEEK!

180. OH.

181. OUR 11:15 HAS ARRIVED —

182. JESUS OF NAZARETH.

183. I WANT YOU TO INVENT SOCKS

184. FOR ME.

185. SOCKS ARE

186. ALREADY INVENTED, YOU FOOL!

187. THEN SUPPLY MY FEET WITH

188. THEM, AND THEN YOU SHALL HAVE

189. ETERNAL BLISS.

190. YOU LIKE THAT?

191. I DO A LITTLE JESUS.

192. I GET INTO CHARACTER.

193. PLEASE.

194. I-I DON'T NEED ETERNAL ANYTHING.

195. BUT WHAT I DO NEED IS FOR YOU TO

196. GIVE ME WHAT YOU GIVE BEST —

197. FORGIVENESS.

198. OKAY. WHATEVER.

199. YOU'RE FORGIVEN.

200. NO, NO, NO.

201. I WANT YOU TO PRE-ABSOLVE ME

202. FROM CHEATING ON MY WIFE BY

203. CONVINCING ME THAT I'M NOT A

204. LOSER.

205. GIVE ME THAT, AND I WILL GIVE

206. YOU...

207. SOCKS!

208. YAYYYYYY!

209. OKAY, TRY TO GET THIS CONCEPT,

210. OKAY?

211. IT'S MY CONCEPT.

212. I CAME UP WITH IT.

213. ALL VAGINAS ARE ONE VAGINA.

214. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

215. JUST THE ONE BIG VAGINA.

216. IN YOUR CASE, IT IS THE SAME

217. VAGINA.

218. PAPERFACE, LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M

219. TALKING TO YOU!

220. YOU DON'T GET THIS.

221. YOU DON'T GET THAT HAVING SEX

222. WITH HER NOW IS THE SAME AS

223. HAVING SEX WITH HER THEN.

224. IT'S THE SAME DAMN VAGINA!

225. JUST DO IT, PLEASE, AND GET ME

226. MY SOCKS.

227. WELL, HE'S A BIT

228. CRASS, BUT HE'S RIGHT.

229. W-W-WHAT WAS

230. THAT YOU HAD ON YOUR LEG?

231. OH.

232. OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

233. WELL, THAT'S AN ODD

234. DEVICE.

235. WHAT IS THAT?

236. WELL, NOTHING.

237. IT'S COMING OFF SOON.

238. IT'S BEEPING.

239. LOOK, IT'S AN

240. ALCOHOL-MONITORING —

241. I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO MY

242. PRIVATE LIFE!

243. GET ME SOME SOCKS, AND WE'RE IN

244. BUSINESS.

245. RIGHT.

246. POLIDORI, SEE TO IT THAT HE GETS

247. HIS SOCKS.

248. I'M OFF TO REKINDLE MY PASSION

249. FOR ELIZABETH BEHIND HER BACK.

250. OH, AND I HEAR THE COLORED

251. ONES MAKE YOUR FEET SMELL WEIRD,

252. SO I'D PREFER WHITE.

253. I MEAN, THEY CAN HAVE COLORED

254. STRIPES — JUST NOT ON THE SOLE.

255. YOU KNOW, LIKE UP HIGH, THAT'S

256. FINE.

257. COULD IT BE THAT THIS MAN IS THE

258. HISTORICAL JESUS?

259. WHERE DID THIS ONE COME

260. FROM — THIS ONE HERE?

261. I CAME FROM MANY PLACES.

262. I DON'T THINK MY FATHER MADE

263. YOU.

264. YOU'RE A LITTLE CREEPY.

265. WILL YOU MARRY

266. ME?

267. NOW?

268. VICTOR, THIS IS MY WEDDING

269. RECEPTION, AND I LOVE

270. HENRY CLERVAL.

271. NO! NO!

272. I'VE GOT TO STOP HIM BEFORE HE

273. GIVES HER THE SERUM!

274. AH, MY BRIDE AND MY BEST

275. FRIEND — THE PERFECT MOMENT FOR

276. A TOAST!

277. DARLING.

278. POLIDORI, WATCH

279. THIS ME UNTIL I COME BACK.

280. NO TIME TO EXPLAIN.

281. A LONG LIFE!

282. TO THE THREE OF US!

283. TO THE THREE OF US!

284. TO THE THREE OF

285. US!

286. OH, HENRY. CONSUMMATE ME.

287. CONSUMMATE!

288. GOOD EVENING!

289. VICTOR!

290. YOU CAN'T BE HERE ON OUR

291. HONEYMOON NIGHT.

292. HERE.

293. I BROUGHT YOU A HONEYMOON

294. PRESENT.

295. I LOATHE YOU.

296. I WANT HER NOW MORE THAN EVER.

297. I SAY, THANKS FOR THE

298. PRESENT, VICTOR.

299. QUITE THOUGHTFUL.

300. THAT'S NOT FOR

301. YOU!

302. Polidori #2: * LA DE HUM DUM

303. POLIDORI, I'VE

304. COME FROM THE FUTURE!

305. Polidori #2:

306. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TRY TO MAKE

307. ME ENJOY CHRISTMAS, ARE YOU?

308. NO, NO, NO.

309. I JUST NEED THE IMMORTALITY

310. SERUM.

311. Polidori #2: LET ME GUESS.

312. YOU FINALLY FED ELIZABETH

313. THE SERUM, BECAME INSTANTLY

314. WEARY OF HER, LIVED 1,000 YEARS

315. IN A MISERABLE MARRIAGE, CAME

316. BACK TO RECLAIM YOUR PASSION

317. THOUGH HER DISPASSION, BUT NOW

318. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, SO YOU WANT

319. TO GIVE THIS ELIZABETH, WHO'S

320. THE EXACT SAME ELIZABETH, THE

321. EXACT SAME SERUM SO SHE'LL NEED

322. TO BE WITH YOU THE EXACT SAME

323. WAY SHE DID THE FIRST TIME?

324. HOW DID YOU

325. KNOW?

326. Polidori #2:

327. YOU'RE A HETEROSEXUAL MAN,

328. VICTOR.

329. YOU'RE PREDICTABLE.

330. WELL, JUST TELL

331. ME WHERE THE SERUM IS!

332. Polidori #2: LOOK AT YOU.

333. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE

334. FUTURE, AND YOU'RE FROM IT.

335. WELL, IF I

336. CAN'T CONVINCE YOU TO GIVE IT TO

337. ME, I KNOW WHO CAN!

338. NO, THEY'RE A LITTLE LOOSE.

339. GOOD GOD.

340. YOU'LL GROW INTO THEM.

341. POLIDORI!

342. WILL YOU TELL YOURSELF TO GIVE

343. ME THAT SERUM?

344. Polidori #2: DEAR, DEAR.

345. LOOKS LIKE I NEED SOME REST.

346. IT'S THE

347. FLUORESCENT LIGHTING.

348. TRUST ME.

349. YOU LOOK JUST AS BAD, DEAR.

350. GET ME THE

351. IMMORTALITY SERUM!

352. OH, YOU DON'T WANT

353. TO GIVE THAT ELIZABETH SERUM, DO

354. YOU?

355. Polidori #2: OF COURSE HE

356. DOES.

357. YOU TWO ARE

358. IMPOSSIBLE!

359. JESUS, LAY SOME WISDOM ON THESE

360. DANDIES!

361. DON'T LOOK AT ME.

362. I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW.

363. I'M PUTTING ON SOCKS NOW.

364. Frankenstein #2: HEY, HOW

365. COME YOU DON'T ASK ME?

366. I'M A GENIUS, TOO, YOU KNOW.

367. YOU'RE RIGHT!

368. WHERE'S THE SERUM?

369. Frankenstein #2: WHERE IT

370. ALWAYS IS — IN THE CUPBOARD, BY

371. THE SUGAR.

372. HA! OF COURSE!

373. SMOOTH MOVE, GENIUS.

374. ELIZABETH,

375. WAIT!

376. OH, LEAVE ME ALONE!

377. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?

378. THERE!

379. NOW DRINK!

380. Frankenstein #3: ELIZABETH,

381. WAIT!

382. WHAT?

383. Frankenstein #3: DON'T DRINK

384. THAT!

385. HOW DID YOU GET

386. OUT OF THE SOCK SHOP?

387. Frankenstein #3: I'M NOT THAT

388. ME — I'M A FUTURE YOU.

389. BUT I'M THE

390. FUTURE ME.

391. Frankenstein #3: WELL, I'M...

392. FUTURER.

393. IS ANYONE GOING TO EXPLAIN?

394. Frankenstein #3: YOU SEE,

395. VICTOR, POLIDORI WAS RIGHT.

396. YOU'RE JUST GOING AROUND IN

397. CIRCLES.

398. IF SHE DRINKS THAT ELIXIR, YOU

399. WILL JUST BE REPEATING HISTORY.

400. OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

401. ELIZABETH, WAIT!

402. NOW, WHICH ME

403. ARE YOU?

404. Frankenstein #4: THE MOST

405. FUTUREST!

406. DOES THE TEA HAVE THE ELIXIR IN

407. IT YET?

408. Frankenstein #3: YES.

409. I CAN HANDLE THIS WITHOUT YOU.

410. Frankenstein #4: NO, YOU

411. CAN'T!

412. DRINK UP, ELIZABETH.

413. Frankenstein #4: WHAT?

414. HUH?

415. Frankenstein #4: SHE NEEDS TO

416. DRINK THAT IMMORTALITY SERUM!

417. HUH?

418. Frankenstein #4: WE HAVE TO

419. GET THINGS BACK TO STATUS QUO.

420. AS MISERABLE AS WE ARE WITH HER

421. IN THE FUTURE, IT'S A

422. COMFORTABLE SORT OF MISERY THAT

423. I'M ACCUSTOMED TO.

424. AHA.

425. Frankenstein #4: I SEE.

426. I THINK WE SEE.

427. WELL, ALL OF THAT IS WELL AND

428. FINE, BUT FRANKLY, I'VE GONE OFF

429. THIS TEA.

430. DRINK IT!

431. Frankenstein #5: ELIZABETH!

432. OH.

433. UH, S-SO, YOU GUYS HAVE THIS

434. COVERED?

435. ALL RIGHT. GOOD.

436. AND SINCE YOU GOT THE

437. HIGH-ENDERS, YOU GET THIS

438. KITSCHY JESUS WATCH.

439. THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ME.

440. NO, THAT'S YOU.

441. N-N-N-N...

442. NO?

443. IT SAYS "JESUS," BUT THAT

444. DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ME.

445. I DON'T HAVE STRAWBERRY-BLOND

446. HAIR.

447. THAT LOOKS LIKE DENNIS DeYOUNG.

448. WHO?

449. FROM STYX.

450. I DON'T...

451. THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ANY

452. SONG I'VE EVER HEARD.

453. OKAY, WELL, I'M MESSING IT UP

454. ON PURPOSE SO I DON'T HAVE TO

455. PAY ROYALTIES TO DENNIS DeYOUNG.

456. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

457. IS THAT WHY I DON'T LOOK LIKE ME

458. ON THE WATCH — SO YOU DON'T PAY

459. ME ROYALTIES?

460. THAT'S SCREWED UP!

461. Past Frankenstein: AND NOW,

462. MY LOVE, YOUR ANNIVERSARY

463. PRESENT.

464. DANKE SCHOEN.

465. OH, VICTOR!

466. THE RE WAYNE NEWTON

467. IMPERSONATOR!

468. AND NOW I'D LIKE TO SING A

469. COVER.

470. HEY, WAIT A

471. SECOND!

472. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE UP THERE!

473. Frankenstein #3: AH, LET THE

474. KID HAVE SOME FUN.

475. YEAH, YOU'RE

476. RIGHT.

477. IT'S FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE LAST

478. TIME YOU ASKED ME.

479. ACCORDING TO WHOSE WATCH?

480. THIS WATCH — THE ONE WITH

481. YOU ON IT WITH THE

482. STRAWBERRY-BLOND HAIR.

483. OKAY, WELL, THAT'S NOT ME.

484. OH, FORGET IT.