1. Mom didn't go shopping.
There's no snacks.
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2. I don't want to watch
a movie without snacks.
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3. There's always...
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4. trail mix.
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5. Yeah.
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6. Trail mix.
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7. - Good movie.
- Yeah.
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8. Malcolm in the Middle - 6.17 - Butterflies
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9. Synchronisation par Tyno,
Script original par Raceman.
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10. Usually I spend every minute I'm at
Lucky Aide cursing Mom for making me
work here, but lately it hasn't seemed so bad.
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11. I'm not sure why.
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12. Malcolm, you were right. I put
a greasy bag in the fridge, and
Craig put his name on it.
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13. Yeah, the only way to protect anything
is to put it in a nonfat yogurt carton.
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14. That's brilliant.
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15. Wait. You got something.
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16. Thanks.
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17. She didn't have anything.
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18. So, hey, it turns out I don't
have to go with my parents to
Yosemite over spring break.
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19. So I guess you'll be
in town then, huh?
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20. Looks like it.
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21. You know, me, too.
Maybe we can...
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22. Malcolm, your break doesn't
start for another two minutes.
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23. Wendy, your break is over now.
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24. This is why orphans
get all the hot girls.
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25. Oh, God. I've got graveyard
shift for the next two weeks?
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26. I didn't know I had any joy left
in my life to be sucked out.
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27. I guess you're going to have to
take the bus to work, Malcolm.
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28. You're going to be on your own.
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29. Great. Figures.
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30. If I can bite through my tongue till my
teeth meet maybe Mom won't see me smile.
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31. All right, here's Jamie's
schedule for the next two weeks.
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32. - He needs a bath at 6:00, 8:00
and before he goes to bed.
- We talked about Jamie's schedule.
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33. - I want to talk about our schedule.
- We already talked about that schedule.
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34. I know, but I like coming
home for lunch to be a special
treat, not just for my survival.
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35. Well, I'm not happy about it
either, but working graveyard
is just part of the job.
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36. Have you told Malcolm you're
making him do it with you?
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37. Two days ago.
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38. - What are you so happy about?
- Nothing.
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39. I've just never had the
whole bed to myself before.
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40. You stay off my side of the bed!
I don't care if I'm not there.
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41. Okay.
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42. And stop smiling!
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43. Okay.
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44. The only bright spot in all this is
that Reese has an even crappier
spring break job than I do.
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45. You didn't do too bad today, kid.
Till that possum got up your
pant leg, you were way ahead.
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46. So... he didn't have rabies, did he?
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47. No. No, no, no, no.
He checked out fine.
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48. Say, uh, you going to be able to sit up
soon 'cause we're almost at your house.
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49. These fumes are kind of strong. Can I get
one of those paper masks next time?
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50. Do I look like I'm made of money?
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51. You got a different
kind of a job tomorrow.
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52. What's this?
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53. That's a thousand caterpillars.
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54. Tomorrow morning, get up before dawn, I want
you to go around the neighborhood, sprinkle those
on the rose bushes, flower beds, front lawns...
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55. And then I want you to take my
business card and drop it in the
mailbox, you understand?
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56. Why do you sound very far away?
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57. Don't go to sleep for a while.
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58. It sucks you have to work the night
shift. Now you're going to miss the
party. Debbie's parents are out of town.
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59. Probably won't miss much.
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60. It's just the same boring people
doing the same boring stuff.
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61. Whoa, I gotta run.
Skinny-dipping starts at midnight.
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62. Hey, Malcolm.
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63. At what age do you just accept that
your life is a piece of rotten garbage
and always will be?
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64. Twenty-two.
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65. But that doesn't mean you can't
enjoy the heck out of every moment.
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66. Take tonight.
You're in for a real treat.
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67. There's a different rhythm
to the night shift.
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68. It's a camaraderie, a brotherhood of
kindred souls, a nocturnal fraternity of
the prowlers of the inky netherworld.
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69. - Hello, fellow traveler.
- Where's the toothpaste?
- I'm on a break.
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70. Make sure all the pens are cap-side up
with the pocket clips facing forward.
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71. This is the benefit
of graveyard shift.
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72. You don't have all that chaos that goes
on during the daytime. You can get things
organized the way they're meant to be.
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73. You're just trying to torture me.
That's why I'm here, just admit it.
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74. You're here because
you need the money.
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75. - I give you three-quarters of my paycheck.
- That's why you need the money.
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76. That's weird.
Did you see anyone?
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77. What?
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78. Someone left a candy wrapper and
change on the counter here, but
nobody's been in the store for hours.
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79. It was probably a mouse.
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80. A mouse that left
the exact change?
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81. I played tic-tac-toe with a chicken
at the county fair, and it beat me
eight times in a row.
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82. Don't shortchange animals.
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83. I didn't see anyone though.
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84. Nevermind.
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85. Wait, aren't you even
curious how that happened?
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86. Malcolm, everything doesn't
have to be fascinating.
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87. Now it looks like the guy in the
hockey mask is dead, right? But
just keep your eye on that coffin.
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88. Hold on.
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89. Why aren't you at work?
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90. I don't want to hear that you're
too good to crawl under houses
poisoning rats all day.
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91. There are ten guys with MBA's
who would love to have that job.
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92. I didn't quit. I showed up this
morning and the cops were there.
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93. It turns out Mr. Krijak was renting
out his gas tanks for parties.
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94. Now I have to dump this stupid
box of caterpillars... for free!
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95. Have a nice death, puss-bags.
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96. Hey!
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97. Get off of me.
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98. Oh, a tough guy, huh?
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99. Hey...
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100. Cut it out, that tickles.
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101. Craig, did you do this?
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102. Do what?
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103. Those vitamins that
were recalled.
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104. Did you clear off this shelf?
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105. Doesn't sound like me.
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106. Six coats of wax,
and I buttered up my socks.
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107. The record's going down.
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108. You know, things have been
getting really weird around here.
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109. I mean, think about it.
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110. Last night, all the clocks
in the display case were
synchronized to the same time.
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111. And the night before that,
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112. all the fingerprints were
cleaned off the freezer doors.
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113. Malcolm, I think you're forgetting
the graveyard shift motto...
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114. "Who cares?"
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115. It doesn't matter if
no one else knows.
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116. You know.
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117. Okay, Dewey gets the
pancakes and eggs.
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118. And Lois has the veal parmesan.
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119. Oh, look at you, Jamie.
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120. You have changed so much in just a week.
Your head's almost symmetrical.
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121. Better eat up... don't you need
to be in bed before I go to work?
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122. Honey, I'm spending sometime with my son
who I've barely seen in the last week.
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123. You've got 18 years for that.
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124. I'm only asking
for ten minutes.
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125. Wow, another great
night's sleep.
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126. No fighting for blankets,
no elbows in my face, or anything worse.
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127. Just all the room in the world.
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128. Don't freak out when you get
into your side of the bed.
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129. It looks bad, but most
of it's only a Moon Pie.
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130. Did you know the Latin name for
this little guy is Danaus plexippus,
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131. and that he actually crawls
out of his own skin to pupate?
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132. Then the outer layer
hardens into the chrysalis.
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133. That's Greek for "golden."
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134. And once they turn
into butterflies,
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135. they can migrate
up to 2,000 miles.
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136. Pretty awesome, huh?
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137. Oh, got to feed them
some more milkweed.
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138. Wow.
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139. That's the first time I've ever seen
Reese take a concerned interest
in another living thing.
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140. It's kind of nice to know he's
got a compassionate side.
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141. I want those revolting bugs in
the trash by tomorrow morning.
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142. Craig.
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143. Take a look at this.
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144. If you don't mind, I'm trying to
get in a quick nap before my break.
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145. Seriously. Check out this guy.
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146. He's here, and then two hours later...
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147. he's still there,
only in a different outfit.
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148. And three hours later,
he shows up again in another outfit.
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149. Whoa!
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150. Did you see that?
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151. Malcolm, please.
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152. If I don't get my 16 hours, I'm a bear.
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153. What are doing in there?
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154. Shopping.
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155. You're not shopping.
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156. You're the guy from
the videotape.
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157. You're living here?
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158. Malcolm, please.
Your mom's going to hear us.
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159. How do you know my name?
How do you know my mom?
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160. I've been here for a while.
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161. And you were right about moving
the tortilla chips to the salsa aisle.
The sales are up at least 15%.
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162. I knew it. Wait.
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163. How long's "a while?"
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164. Three years in January.
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165. I was going to move over to foot care,
but once you get unpacked, it's...
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166. You've been living in this store
for three years? Are you crazy?
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167. I don't know.
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168. I just...
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169. Malcolm, I had this
super high-pressure job.
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170. People were constantly hounding me for
answers, decisions, budgets, signatures.
My-My nerves were a total wreck.
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171. I was wandering around here waiting for
my Xanax refill, my-my cell phone and
BlackBerry both going off, and I saw this crack.
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172. And I decided to hide in there,
just for a few minutes, and...
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173. it was fantastic.
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174. I didn't want to leave.
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175. And then I didn't, and no one
noticed, so I just... stayed.
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176. You never left the
store in all that time?
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177. You guys are pretty well-stocked here.
Lots of canned goods, toiletries...
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178. Every day I clean a different third
of my body in the bathroom sink.
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179. - But you can't just live here.
- Why not?
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180. I-I pay for everything I use,
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181. I help out whenever I can. I clean
spills, I change light bulbs. I have
saved Craig's life at least five times.
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182. You're not going to
tell on me, are you?
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183. I don't know...
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184. What about Wendy?
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185. I know you like her.
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186. And I can help you.
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187. I see her all the time.
I overhear her conversations.
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188. I know everything about her, like why
she broke up with her last boyfriend.
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189. - Why?
- Will you let me stay?
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190. Yeah, all right.
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191. Okay, so I'm entrusting my love
life to a burned-out hermit who
lives behind a ball cage.
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192. That doesn't make me
a desperate loser.
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193. I'm doing it anyway.
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194. - Okay, Reese...
- Shh. Dad, they're pupating.
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195. They need peace and quiet while they're
developing their delicate new...
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196. We got to dump the bugs.
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197. What?
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198. Sorry. Your mother
wants them gone.
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199. No, you can't do this.
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200. They never hurt anyone.
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201. They have no protection,
no one to watch over them.
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202. Oh, crap, I'm too late.
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203. You bonded with
them, didn't you?
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204. Well, welcome to my world.
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205. Now you're stuck with feelings
of unjustified love for a bunch of
mindless, ungrateful eating machines.
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206. See how you like it.
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207. At least yours will
be dead in a month.
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208. Then I can keep them?
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209. Throw them under the
tarp with the Playboys.
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210. And you better be a sullen jerk
to me in front of your mother so
she doesn't get wise. You got that?
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211. - Go on.
- Okay.
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212. I overheard her on the phone saying
she's sick of guys who play games.
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213. She says she just wants someone
who's honest and straightforward.
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214. That's great. I'm totally
honest and straightforward.
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215. Actually, you're more like
blunt and aggressive.
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216. That's okay. You just got to slow down,
give yourself a chance.
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217. She spent 22 minutes and 18 seconds
looking through Hallmark cards. She
needs to be treated gently.
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218. Here's some stuff she likes.
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219. Movies, music, shampoo
brands, paper towels...
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220. Uh, well, some of it's more useful
than others, but learn it all.
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221. When the time's right, you can show her
how much you have in common with her.
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222. Thanks. This is great.
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223. Who are you talking to?
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224. Um, I was just... singing.
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225. Thanks, this is great,
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226. As long as we're together, girl.
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227. Yeah.
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228. In my car.
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229. I want you to know something.
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230. I've been sleeping in that
bed by myself for a week.
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231. A week without sharing covers, a week
without being smashed, and a week
without having anyone's butt shoved into my face.
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232. So, what are you angry about?
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233. Because during the last week,
I've grown half an inch.
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234. You lied to me.
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235. I'm not the smallest kid in
my class from my genetics.
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236. It's because I've been stuffed into
a bed with Malcolm all my life.
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237. Whoo, you don't know that.
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238. It could be all the crap we feed you,
or the chemical plant near the park.
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239. - Dad...
- Dewey, I'm sorry.
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240. But we can't afford to buy you your
own bed. You'll just have to grow
after Malcolm goes off to college.
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241. Oh, no, then Jamie's going into it.
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242. Well, at least you'll always
be bigger than he is.
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243. Yesterday, I passed Wendy at the
time clock and casually mentioned
how I liked the smell of bookstores.
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244. She was so charmed,
I didn't even care how stupid that is.
Copy !req
245. All right, what's going on?
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246. What are you talking about?
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247. You haven't complained about
one thing in the last week.
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248. The only time you don't complain is
when you're hiding something from me.
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249. I'm not hiding
anything from you.
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250. Malcolm.
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251. There you are.
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252. Remember last week when you
were trying to figure out how that
spill got cleaned up?
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253. No.
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254. But remember those vitamins
getting pulled from the shelf, and
the ice cream case getting cleaned,
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255. and those socks being left out to dry
and all those other things that seemed
like they were happening by themselves?
Copy !req
256. Not now, Craig.
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257. I figured it out.
I know what's going on.
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258. The store is haunted.
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259. Craig...
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260. - All right, what's in this bag?
- Nothing. I'm restocking.
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261. Fresh fruit?
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262. A package of
all-cotton underwear?
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263. A decent book?
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264. We don't sell this stuff.
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265. Okay, fine.
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266. If you must know,
I was restocking my locker.
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267. I've been having intense stomach problems,
and that's what the fruit is for, and the
underwear, and sadly, the book, too.
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268. And now that you've publicly humiliated
me, can I go about my business?
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269. Okay, not bad. It's plausible,
embarrassing enough for the outburst,
and essentially unprovable.
Copy !req
270. I just have to stand my ground.
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271. Attention Lucky
Aide trespasser.
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272. You do not get to do this.
You do not get to live off the grid.
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273. If anyone on the planet was entitled to
hide from all the aggravation, it would
be me, but I don't, do you understand?
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274. No one gets to shirk their
share of the misery.
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275. Everyone has to be stuck
in this together. That's what's fair.
Those are the rules.
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276. Now, you obviously know me, so you
know what I'm willing to do to find you.
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277. So save us both the
time and come out now.
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278. Let me handle this.
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279. Do you know anything about
a guy living in the store?
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280. No!
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281. No, Reese, you're not
coming in here with those.
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282. But they'll freeze
to death out there!
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283. I'm sorry, son. I already promised
your mom I would get rid of them.
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284. And I have four or five other lies
in the fire I can't jeopardize.
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285. The bugs stay outside.
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286. Fine.
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287. Then I'll...
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288. I'll... I'll fight you for it.
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289. Reese, you already fought me
for the last English muffin two
weeks ago, and I cleaned your clock.
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290. But this time, I'm fighting for
something I love even more
than those muffins.
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291. Keep your voice down.
You're going to wake Jamie.
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292. Good. I want him to hear what kind of
heartless monster his father really is.
Copy !req
293. Come on, old man, let's go.
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294. All right. But if I throw my back
out again beating you up, I am
going to kick the crap out of you.
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295. Well, the police
are on their way.
Copy !req
296. Three years you've been
living here. Unbelievable.
Copy !req
297. Didn't you once give me the Heimlich
maneuver in Snacks and Nuts?
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298. You've got to learn to chew.
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299. Easier said, my friend.
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300. Mom, can't you just let him go?
Copy !req
301. He didn't even really
do anything wrong.
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302. He paid for everything he took.
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303. He helped out around the store.
The guy's just living here.
Copy !req
304. What's wrong with that?
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305. I could just disappear, go to
the Wal-Mart down the block.
I've heard great things about them.
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306. He broke the rules, Malcolm.
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307. The rules matter.
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308. Rules say we get paid time and
a half for the graveyard shift.
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309. The rules say trespassers
are dealt with by the police.
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310. You can't just pick and choose what
rules you want to follow, or the whole
system breaks down.
Copy !req
311. - But...
- Malcolm, I'm sorry.
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312. But as long as I'm working here,
I can't bend the rules for anyone.
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313. 7:30. Shift's over.
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314. What are you doing?
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315. I'm off the clock.
I'm going home.
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316. Everybody else can do
whatever they want.
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317. But they better do it quick.
They don't have a lot of time.
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318. - Thank you.
- For what?
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319. Great. She lets that guy walk, but makes
a federal case whenever I put my phone
number in with the birth control pills.
Copy !req
320. - Hi, Malcolm.
- Oh, hey, Wendy.
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321. Did you get the blue
irises I sent you?
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322. Yeah, I did.
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323. How did you know those
were my favorite flowers?
Copy !req
324. Well, you know, I guess we just
really have a lot in common.
Copy !req
325. Like loving grilled cheese and tomato
sandwiches and Stephen King books.
Copy !req
326. I wouldn't be surprised if you
were a big Coldplay fan, too.
Copy !req
327. What the hell are you doing?
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328. Following me around?
Are you stalking me?
Copy !req
329. No. No, no.
I guess we're just really in sync.
Copy !req
330. - Is that so weird? I mean, sometimes two people...
- You stay away from me, creep.
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331. Don't worry, buddy.
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332. Even I get that sometimes.
Copy !req
333. Dad, the toilet lid was up,
and Jamie's tongue is blue again.
Copy !req
334. Did you spend all
night out there?
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335. My choice.
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336. It's very bracing out there.
Copy !req
337. Now why don't you help me
into the shower and see if
we can't save your dad's toes.
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338. Oh, my God.
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339. Winston, is that you?
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340. Geez.
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341. I thought you were going to
look totally gay as a butterfly,
but you look amazing.
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342. Harv?
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343. And Julio.
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344. I knew you'd be
one of the first.
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345. You were always the
head of the class.
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346. This is fantastic.
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347. Look at all of you guys.
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348. Wow.
Copy !req
349. I forgot how many
of you there were.
Copy !req
350. Okay.
Copy !req
351. That's a lot of fluttering.
Copy !req
352. That's enough.
Copy !req
353. Get off of me.
Copy !req
354. Get the hell off of me!
Copy !req
355. Help!
Copy !req
356. Help!
Copy !req
357. Good news. Wendy's restraining order has
been reduced from 100 feet to 50 feet.
Copy !req
358. If I can yell loud enough,
I think I can straighten this out.
Copy !req
359. It's so good to have you back.
Copy !req
360. - Oh. You coming home for lunch?
- Mm, and coffee break.
Copy !req
361. No, no!
Copy !req
362. Okay, one more week,
then that joke's off limits.
Copy !req