1. Do you think babies dream?
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2. Oh, Jamie finally
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3. fell asleep.
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4. Haven't you finished
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5. paying these bills yet?
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6. How am I supposed
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7. to know
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8. which ones
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9. to blow off?
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10. "Ultimate
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11. Final Notice"
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12. is obviously
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13. more serious
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14. than "Absolute
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15. Final Notice,"
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16. but pink is angrier
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17. than yellow,
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18. and this one's still
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19. saying, "Please."
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20. Would someone
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21. get my
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22. calculator
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23. out of the car?
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24. I'll get it.
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25. I'll go with you.
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26. That's Beth,
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27. Reese's girlfriend
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28. for the last month.
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29. She's really starting to bug me.
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30. First I had to hear them
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31. through their baby-talk phase.
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32. Then they had their
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33. giggling phone call phase.
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34. Now they're on their
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35. endless making-out phase.
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36. It's gotten to the point
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37. where I can't tell
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38. if they're kissing
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39. or cleaning each other.
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40. Well, forget
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41. this one.
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42. What's the vet
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43. going to do?
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44. Bring Dewey's bird
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45. back to life?
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46. The Feds arrested
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47. Morrison today.
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48. He locked himself
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49. in the supply cabinet
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50. and they just carried
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51. the whole thing out.
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52. God, haven't they finished
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53. arresting people yet?
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54. Dewey, could you please
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55. not do that right now?
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56. Look, I need to have
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57. both the Debussy
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58. and the Ravel nailed
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59. by tomorrow morning.
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60. The selection committee
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61. for the youth music festival
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62. won't be impressed
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63. with simple etudes.
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64. What?
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65. I'm just sharing my day.
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66. Thanks for taking an interest.
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67. Okay,
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68. we'll be studying.
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69. Wait, where's
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70. my calculator?
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71. Oh.
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72. I'll get it.
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73. I'll go with you.
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74. Buckle up.
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75. I'm Agent Stone.
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76. This is Agent Scurry.
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77. We're from the FBI.
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78. I thought it was
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79. just a squirrel.
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80. That's why I kept going.
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81. God, if I could have that day
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82. back, I would give anything...
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83. Sir, this is about
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84. the company
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85. you work for.
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86. In the last eight months
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87. we've filed 230
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88. criminal indictments.
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89. People are flying
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90. into jail cells.
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91. It's beautiful.
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92. Except for
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93. your department.
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94. But we're just about ready
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95. to pounce on Ken Wixted.
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96. Ken Wixted?
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97. We've got him dead-to-rights.
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98. We just need you
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99. to confirm a couple
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100. of key details.
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101. Did you ever
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102. see Ken Wixted
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103. change the numbers on
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104. a Section 13B filing
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105. after it was signed by
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106. the company auditors?
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107. What? No.
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108. Did he ever mention,
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109. maybe in passing,
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110. anything about
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111. an offshore account
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112. in the Cayman Islands,
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113. or a villa?
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114. Anything about a villa?
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115. I don't think so.
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116. Hal, we really,
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117. really need you
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118. to search your memory.
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119. Think hard about whether
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120. you're remembering right,
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121. or whether you should
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122. change your answer to yes.
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123. Do you want me to lie?
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124. We're just asking if
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125. you'd like to confirm
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126. what everybody already knows,
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127. or whether you'd like
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128. to provoke the full fury
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129. of the United
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130. States government.
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131. Now, can you
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132. swing by
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133. my kid's school?
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134. I forgot to give
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135. him his lunch.
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136. Beth.
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137. Are your parents
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138. passed out yet?
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139. Yeah, but what
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140. are you doing?
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141. I thought you
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142. were working late.
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143. Why are you dressed like that?
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144. Because I've been
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145. thinking about
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146. this moment
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147. for a long time,
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148. and I want it
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149. to be perfect.
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150. Beth, I have something
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151. to tell you.
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152. Beth... I love you.
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153. I love you.
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154. I love you.
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155. Oh, God.
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156. This is going to be
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157. so horrible for you.
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158. I am so sorry.
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159. What do you mean?
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160. I want to break up.
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161. Oh.
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162. Yeah, yeah, that's okay.
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163. Yeah, that's fine.
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164. You know,
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165. I was just kidding
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166. anyway about... yeah.
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167. It's no biggie.
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168. Look, Reese.
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169. It's not you,
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170. it's me.
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171. I just think I can do better.
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172. I think we should end it now
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173. before things get even...
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174. Can we stop that music?
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175. I should go.
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176. Reese, if
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177. I could make
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178. myself like you, I would.
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179. What's that?
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180. Reese, stop, you're going
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181. to wake up my parents.
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182. You really don't want to
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183. do this. It's not what...
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184. She grew on me.
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185. Please don't kill me.
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186. You can break
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187. my fingers.
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188. Or if you just
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189. want to rest,
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190. I'll break them for you.
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191. I just want you
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192. to be happy.
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193. Wow, I thought there'd
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194. be a huge fistfight.
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195. I mean, I had no
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196. right to expect it,
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197. but I would
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198. have understood.
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199. They want you
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200. to lie?
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201. They never said that exactly.
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202. Well, the big guy
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203. never said anything.
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204. These guys are
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205. serious, Lois.
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206. And they're
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207. everywhere.
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208. It's scary.
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209. Well, I aced my audition.
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210. They're sending me
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211. to the state finals.
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212. So now I just need
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213. to tell them how many
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214. family members are coming.
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215. Dewey, we're in the middle
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216. of something important here.
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217. So that's me and everybody
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218. who cares about me.
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219. One.
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220. Do you believe the way
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221. these guys operate?
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222. They find some
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223. weak little patsy
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224. they're sure's going to crack
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225. under the slightest pressure
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226. just so they don't have
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227. to do their own legwork.
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228. I'm embarrassed
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229. for both of us.
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230. Well, this
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231. is America, Hal.
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232. You are not going
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233. to lie to put someone
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234. in jail who might
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235. be innocent.
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236. You are right,
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237. and you know what?
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238. I'm going to tell
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239. them that right now.
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240. You've taken my arms
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241. and legs.
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242. What else do you want?
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243. I want your eyeballs
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244. for my chocolate sundae.
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245. But I'll be blind,
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246. and your sundae will only taste
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247. a little bit better.
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248. I'm the worst brother ever!
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249. Malcolm, Malcolm.
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250. Wake up!
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251. Reese is gone.
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252. What? Where'd he go?
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253. The note didn't say.
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254. "If my own brother could
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255. stab me through the heart..."
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256. Blah, blah, blah...
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257. "Teardrops..."
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258. Blah, blah, blah...
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259. "Good-bye forever."
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260. Look.
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261. Mom and Dad
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262. are going to make
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263. a big deal out of this.
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264. Let's just sit on it
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265. till I get an answer
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266. about my music festival.
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267. What's happening?
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268. What are you doing?
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269. Wixted rolled
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270. over on you, Hal.
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271. He told us all about
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272. your offshore accounts
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273. in the Cayman Islands,
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274. altering documents,
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275. the villa, everything.
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276. Can't he at least
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277. put some pants on?
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278. Just as soon
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279. as we get a good
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280. perp-walk
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281. out of him.
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282. This is
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283. ridiculous!
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284. He doesn't belong
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285. in jail!
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286. He doesn't even look in the back
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287. of the TV Guide
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288. for the crossword answers!
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289. Honey, I love you.
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290. Keep the phone bill paid
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291. so I can call you.
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292. And the trick
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293. to the thermostat
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294. is to push in
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295. before you twist it.
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296. Sir, you need
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297. to stand still.
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298. And I need a lawyer.
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299. Not Reese's.
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300. I-I want a good one.
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301. Sir, you need
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302. to stop squirming.
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303. Boys, go back in the house.
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304. Boys, your daddy
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305. loves you very much.
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306. And don't worry about this.
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307. Sir, this
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308. is your last warning.
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309. Believe in the American
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310. Justice Sys...
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311. I guess Dad's a no.
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312. Don't worry, Hal.
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313. I will be there
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314. first thing in the morning.
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315. Yes, I will bring your shaving
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316. cream and your toothbrush.
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317. No, Hal, do not make
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318. a break for it.
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319. Say it back to me.
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320. Okay. I love you.
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321. That's not evidence!
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322. Those are my birth
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323. control pills!
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324. I brought them with me!
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325. The beagle made a pointy foot.
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326. It's out of my hands, lady.
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327. What the hell is
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328. wrong with you?
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329. At least leave me one.
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330. Francis, don't make any more
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331. trouble than we already have.
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332. And you do not
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333. have a warrant to
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334. vandalize our house!
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335. When this is all
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336. over, you are going
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337. to be chalking tires
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338. all the way from
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339. here to Montreal!
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340. Don't you threaten me, lady.
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341. with both hands
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342. and a flashlight!
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343. Okay.
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344. The lawyer's supposed
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345. to meet me here at 7:00.
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346. If I'm late, feed
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347. him something,
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348. but not the tuna casserole.
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349. That has to last for
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350. the next four days.
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351. Hopefully, by that time,
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352. your father will...
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353. Somebody better do those dishes.
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354. Mom, don't worry.
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355. Just do what
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356. you have to do.
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357. We'll look after the house.
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358. I have to go.
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359. Don't let me
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360. forget to get
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361. your father's allergy medication
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362. and pick up his suit
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363. for the hearing.
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364. You want me to
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365. do anything?
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366. Well, you could steal
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367. your brother's girlfriend.
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368. Oh, wait,
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369. you already did that.
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370. I know what I
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371. did was awful.
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372. Believe me, I know,
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373. and I don't even
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374. want forgiveness,
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375. but I think if you all
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376. just give me a chance,
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377. I can prove that I'm a
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378. better person than this.
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379. My eyes are up here.
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380. I'm just going to have to find
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381. Reese, that's all.
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382. It shouldn't be too hard.
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383. Where's he going to go, anyway?
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384. Welcome to the U.S. Army,
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385. your home
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386. for the next three years.
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387. You will proceed single-file
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388. on the yellow stripe
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389. to the processing facility.
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390. Do not overwork
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391. your tiny little brains
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392. trying to figure out
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393. what the other stripes are for.
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394. Now move!
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395. Not good enough?
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396. I'm good enough for this place.
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397. Hold it!
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398. Are you sure you're 18?
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399. Got the driver's license
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400. to prove it.
Copy !req
401. All right, Private Jetson.
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402. Get back in line!
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403. I'm garbage.
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404. I belong
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405. in a garbage can.
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406. I am garbage.
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407. I belong in a garbage can.
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408. I am garbage.
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409. I belong in a
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410. garbage can. I am...
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411. Does he have to wear
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412. that thing?
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413. Hey, it was either
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414. house arrest or jail.
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415. I think we made
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416. the right choice.
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417. All right,
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418. your anklet sends a signal
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419. to the tamperproof base station.
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420. Your court order says
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421. you have to stay
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422. within a 50-foot radius.
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423. Can I shower with this?
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424. Oh, now you're
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425. snapping at me?
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426. Okay, you just lost
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427. ten feet.
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428. What are you doing?
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429. Let me tell you
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430. how this works.
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431. You may have a court order,
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432. but the truth is
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433. I can set this
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434. to whatever I want:
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435. 200 miles or four inches.
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436. Oh, look.
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437. You're vacationing in Vegas.
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438. Whoops. You can't get
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439. out of your own bathroom.
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440. Lois, I've been in
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441. the public defender's office
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442. for ten years,
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443. and I can tell you
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444. that arraignment
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445. was not a disaster.
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446. I bet we can get 'em down
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447. to conspiracy to commit fraud.
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448. That's what
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449. he's already charged with!
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450. Oh.
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451. Do you have a pen?
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452. Look, I know how
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453. overworked you are,
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454. but from now on, you
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455. have only one case:
Copy !req
456. an innocent man
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457. with five children
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458. and a wife whose lives
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459. are teetering
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460. on the brink of oblivion.
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461. Please don't let
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462. that happen.
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463. You have to
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464. save my family.
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465. You are the only
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466. person who can help us.
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467. Lois, I swear to you,
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468. I will work night and day
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469. to get your husband
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470. out of this.
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471. My screenplay can wait
Copy !req
472. a few months.
Copy !req
473. I'm sorry, Hal.
Copy !req
474. I have to go to work,
Copy !req
475. but don't worry.
Copy !req
476. We will get through this.
Copy !req
477. I love you.
Copy !req
478. Oh, I have
Copy !req
479. the most amazing wife.
Copy !req
480. Now you're going to throw that
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481. in my face?
Copy !req
482. That cost you five feet.
Copy !req
483. All right, troop,
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484. you're next.
Copy !req
485. Get in the chair.
Copy !req
486. Okay, I was thinking
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487. something like this.
Copy !req
488. Look at this lifeguard.
Copy !req
489. Is there a straight-guy version
Copy !req
490. of that,
Copy !req
491. 'cause that'd be perfect for me.
Copy !req
492. Okay, if you stop here, I think
Copy !req
493. I can still make it work.
Copy !req
494. It'll look longer
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495. when it's combed out, right?
Copy !req
496. There's no way
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497. I would have picked the laundry
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498. if I knew that this stuff
Copy !req
499. was in it.
Copy !req
500. You're afraid of your
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501. mother's underwear?
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502. What's the big deal about
Copy !req
503. your mother's underwear?
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504. Stop saying
Copy !req
505. "mother's underwear."
Copy !req
506. I don't know how much longer
Copy !req
507. Mom can handle all this—
Copy !req
508. the double shifts, the bills,
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509. the meetings
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510. with the police and the lawyers.
Copy !req
511. Don't forget
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512. the missing son.
Copy !req
513. I'm going to find him!
Copy !req
514. Well, if anyone cares,
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515. my flight number is five...
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516. Oh, hey, Mom.
Copy !req
517. Just give us a second,
Copy !req
518. and we'll clear
Copy !req
519. all this stuff
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520. off the bed for you.
Copy !req
521. What time
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522. does she want
Copy !req
523. the alarm set?
Copy !req
524. 5:30.
Copy !req
525. We're also supposed
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526. to brush our teeth.
Copy !req
527. Good morning, maggots!
Copy !req
528. Now, I want you to understand
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529. why I call you maggots.
Copy !req
530. The maggot is the slimy,
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531. quivering larval form
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532. of the common housefly, and we
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533. all know what maggots eat.
Copy !req
534. And I will be the guy
Copy !req
535. providing...
Copy !req
536. Good God.
Copy !req
537. I bet there's a great story
Copy !req
538. for this, isn't there, son?
Copy !req
539. Hang on.
Copy !req
540. Of course.
Copy !req
541. Okay.
Copy !req
542. Would you like to tell me
Copy !req
543. what happened to your gear,
Copy !req
544. Private?
Copy !req
545. Oh, I traded it.
Copy !req
546. I got this and five cartridges.
Copy !req
547. So, you just blithely
Copy !req
548. gave away
Copy !req
549. your government-issued rucksack
Copy !req
550. and poncho?
Copy !req
551. Well, the pack, I figure,
Copy !req
552. I can eventually get
Copy !req
553. off a dead guy,
Copy !req
554. and the poncho?
Copy !req
555. Come on. Does it look
Copy !req
556. like rain to you?
Copy !req
557. Right.
Copy !req
558. Oh, my God! Jamie!
Copy !req
559. Jamie.
Copy !req
560. Jamie, honey,
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561. c-come to Daddy.
Copy !req
562. Come to Daddy, Jamie.
Copy !req
563. Come on. Jamie!
Copy !req
564. Look inside the basket.
Copy !req
565. Look, Jamie, it's
Copy !req
566. your favorite.
Copy !req
567. Jamie, don't go in there.
Copy !req
568. That's dangerous!
Copy !req
569. No, no, no, no.
Copy !req
570. You stay away from there.
Copy !req
571. Don't you touch that.
Copy !req
572. Attaboy.
Copy !req
573. Attaboy, Jamie!
Copy !req
574. There.
Copy !req
575. Hello.
Copy !req
576. Hello, Hal.
Copy !req
577. I have some information
Copy !req
578. that can help you.
Copy !req
579. What? Who is this?
Copy !req
580. I'm not going to tell you,
Copy !req
581. but I know you're innocent,
Copy !req
582. and I can prove it.
Copy !req
583. We need to meet
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584. face to face,
Copy !req
585. somewhere where there's a crowd.
Copy !req
586. But I can't...
Copy !req
587. Look, if you want to stay
Copy !req
588. out of jail, you'll do it.
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589. Why can't you come here?
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590. Your place is being watched.
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591. Your phone's probably
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592. bugged, too.
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593. Meet me Thursday
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594. at noon at the place
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595. where you go
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596. when you say you're getting
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597. more toner.
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598. The Donut Shack?
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599. All right, plan "B."
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600. Meet me at the place
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601. where you go
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602. when you say you've got
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603. a dentist appointment.
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604. Don't say where it is.
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605. Got it.
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606. Hey, I know who this is.
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607. You're...
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608. My drill sergeant's breath
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609. is not my concern!
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610. My drill sergeant's
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611. breath is not my concern!
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612. My drill sergeant's breath
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613. is not my concern!
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614. So, I put the base station
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615. in there
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616. with a portable power supply.
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617. I modulated a standard cell
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618. phone to mimic the analog modem.
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619. Just make sure you stay
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620. within 30 feet of this backpack.
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621. Don't worry. I've got the ankle
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622. bracelet completely camouflaged.
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623. Can you believe your mom wanted
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624. to give these to the blind?
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625. Remember, you have
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626. to be back by 4:00.
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627. That's when Mom gets home.
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628. And you understand
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629. how important it is
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630. to keep this from her,
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631. don't you?
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632. Francis, you're in charge
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633. of making sure
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634. Malcolm doesn't betray me,
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635. like he's prone to do.
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636. Absolutely.
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637. Well, troop, you've
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638. polished your boots
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639. before everyone else.
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640. How on God's good earth
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641. did you accomplish
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642. that miracle?
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643. I just did it exactly the way
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644. you told me to.
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645. Remove laces,
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646. pull tongue forward,
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647. apply polish,
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648. pull tongue backward,
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649. buff, replace laces, repeat.
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650. I did the same thing to make my
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651. bed and secure my foot locker.
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652. Well, that's the most
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653. miraculous turnaround
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654. that I've ever seen.
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655. I want you to explain
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656. to these recruits
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657. how the worst
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658. soldier in the unit
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659. has managed to put them all
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660. to shame!
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661. I just stopped thinking.
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662. I figured out that using my
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663. brain was the whole problem...
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664. not just here,
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665. but my entire life.
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666. If I just do exactly
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667. what I'm told and nothing else,
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668. then everything gets easy.
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669. It's not even a question
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670. of smart or dumb.
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671. You just turn yourself
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672. into a tool.
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673. I'm much happier that way.
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674. I'm the world's happiest tool.
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675. You must be proud
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676. of yourself, son.
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677. I don't know if I am or not.
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678. I'm waiting for you
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679. to tell me.
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680. My God.
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681. A soldier like you
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682. comes along once in
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683. a thousand years.
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684. Mom! You're home early.
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685. Yup. Got fired.
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686. What?
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687. I gave someone $2,000
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688. in change instead of $20.
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689. But you know what?
Copy !req
690. We just adapt. We move forward.
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691. I'll get another job,
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692. and in the meantime,
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693. I can get started on dinner.
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694. Actually, they repossessed
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695. the fridge this morning.
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696. Fine. We will get through this.
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697. It's okay.
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698. He's all right.
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699. Just got away from
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700. me for a second.
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701. And we will get through this...
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702. as long as we're together,
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703. as long as we have each other.
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704. We are a family. Where's Dad?
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705. He's gone.
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706. I think I'll take a shower.
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707. Left, right, left, right!
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708. Fork up! In! Chew, chew!
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709. Left to right!
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710. Front to back!
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711. Bear down!
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712. Pinch!
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713. One, two, three, four...
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714. 29, 30.
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715. Listen, I don't
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716. have much time.
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717. I know everybody
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718. who's in on this,
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719. and I know exactly
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720. what they did
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721. because I helped 'em.
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722. What?
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723. They paid
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724. me millions.
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725. I was happy
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726. just to sit back
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727. and watch you
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728. take a fall.
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729. But then I found
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730. out I'm dying.
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731. I got six months
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732. at the most.
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733. Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
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734. Listen, I can't go to my grave
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735. with this on my conscience,
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736. so I'm flipping on all of them—
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737. I'm going to tell the truth...
Copy !req
738. but we can't
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739. tip our hand.
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740. They're too powerful.
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741. If they even get
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742. a whiff of this,
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743. they'll just fabricate
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744. new documents,
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745. and we'll both go down.
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746. You won't hear from me
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747. until I show up
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748. at the courthouse.
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749. Don't follow me.
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750. I've also got some
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751. overdue book fines
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752. I want to get
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753. off my conscience.
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754. Mom, will you at least
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755. talk to us?
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756. I'm in the shower, honey.
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757. Yes, we know
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758. you're in the shower.
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759. It's been three hours now.
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760. The water must be freezing.
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761. Do I bother you
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762. when you're in the shower?
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763. Mom, listen, I know how
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764. hard this is for you.
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765. I know how scared
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766. you are,
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767. but you know what?
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768. You've got a family
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769. that depends on you,
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770. and as impossible
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771. as it seems, you just got
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772. to suck it up one more time.
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773. Just one more time, Mom;
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774. that's all we need.
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775. You know you can do this.
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776. In a minute.
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777. I'm in the shower.
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778. Ooh!
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779. Sorry, Officer. Excuse me.
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780. You in a hurry?
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781. You know, busy day.
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782. You understand.
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783. Is that your backpack?
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784. Oh, uh, no, no.
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785. Absolutely not.
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786. Better check it out.
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787. Whoa! I think we
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788. got a bomb here.
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789. You got to get out of here.
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790. No, I-I can't.
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791. Sir, I need you to step away
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792. to a distance
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793. of at least 150 feet.
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794. I can't do that. I'm... I'm...
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795. I'm in the bomb squad.
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796. What?
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797. That's right.
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798. You better let a professional
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799. handle this.
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800. Damn. I was a week
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801. from retirement.
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802. You get to safety.
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803. I'll take it from here.
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804. Yes, sir.
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