1. Will you look at that?Copy !req
2. He wants a trampolineCopy !req
3. for his birthday.Copy !req
4. That's so cute, butCopy !req
5. we can't afford that.Copy !req
6. He can get that if heCopy !req
7. doesn't have a party.Copy !req
8. That is perfect.Copy !req
9. He'll be so surprised.Copy !req
10. This is the best partCopy !req
11. of my day—Copy !req
12. the 16 minutes betweenCopy !req
13. the horrors of schoolCopy !req
14. and the horrors of home.Copy !req
15. Malcolm,Copy !req
16. there you are.Copy !req
17. You know Ira James,Copy !req
18. right?Copy !req
19. All-state fullback, stateCopy !req
20. single season rushing record.Copy !req
21. Who am I kidding? He's probablyCopy !req
22. never even talked to you.Copy !req
23. Hi.Copy !req
24. Ira's graduatingCopy !req
25. this year.Copy !req
26. He's got interest from sixCopy !req
27. Division 1-A colleges.Copy !req
28. Full rides.Copy !req
29. The problem is, eachCopy !req
30. school wants him to writeCopy !req
31. a personal essayCopy !req
32. on his application.Copy !req
33. So...?Copy !req
34. So Ira's an idiot.Copy !req
35. I mean, hamster idiot.Copy !req
36. And that's only if we're talkingCopy !req
37. about a really stupid hamster.Copy !req
38. Mom says I haveCopy !req
39. other nice qualities.Copy !req
40. Since you're the smartestCopy !req
41. kid in the school,Copy !req
42. I want you to helpCopy !req
43. him write his essays.Copy !req
44. I wish I could, but I've got,Copy !req
45. like, three midterms next week.Copy !req
46. Look, you don'tCopy !req
47. understand.Copy !req
48. Ira is a footballCopy !req
49. player.Copy !req
50. That means when heCopy !req
51. needs something,Copy !req
52. it's up to you non-footballCopy !req
53. kids to do it for him.Copy !req
54. The cheerleadersCopy !req
55. understand it.Copy !req
56. Look, I'll make itCopy !req
57. worth your while.Copy !req
58. I'll let you out of gymCopy !req
59. for the rest of the semester.Copy !req
60. I don't mind gym.Copy !req
61. Sure you don't,Copy !req
62. brainiac.Copy !req
63. Hi, honey.Copy !req
64. I'm goingCopy !req
65. to need you to be calm.Copy !req
66. Aw, geez.Copy !req
67. Which kid is it?Copy !req
68. I'm not going to tell you.Copy !req
69. You're not calm enough yet.Copy !req
70. Reese.Copy !req
71. Okay, deep breath.Copy !req
72. What'd he do?Copy !req
73. All right.Copy !req
74. Reese...Copy !req
75. That... glubber...!Copy !req
76. That... sniggit...!Copy !req
77. I'm gonna...Copy !req
78. Honey, do you wantCopy !req
79. some tea or a drink?Copy !req
80. What's wrong with Dad?Copy !req
81. Your father justCopy !req
82. found out what Reese did.Copy !req
83. What'd he do?Copy !req
84. Your brother...Copy !req
85. Oh, my God!Copy !req
86. Did they have to evacuate?Copy !req
87. Glurb...Copy !req
88. Oh, man, what a day.Copy !req
89. Vic lost his other oneCopy !req
90. in the meat grinder,Copy !req
91. and the health departmentCopy !req
92. shut us down for 15 minutes.Copy !req
93. We were playingCopy !req
94. catch up all afternoon.Copy !req
95. You sit down.Copy !req
96. He wants to knowCopy !req
97. how you could doCopy !req
98. something so horrible.Copy !req
99. And think you couldCopy !req
100. get away with it?Copy !req
101. Was that "scramble"Copy !req
102. or "strangle"?Copy !req
103. What are you guysCopy !req
104. talking about?Copy !req
105. You know very wellCopy !req
106. what we're talking about.Copy !req
107. Last week, you...Copy !req
108. I can nameCopy !req
109. Third World countriesCopy !req
110. where stuff like thatCopy !req
111. happens all the time.Copy !req
112. What am I goingCopy !req
113. to do with you, Reese?Copy !req
114. I don't want to tell youCopy !req
115. this is a new low,Copy !req
116. because every time I do,Copy !req
117. you take itCopy !req
118. as a personal challenge!Copy !req
119. You know what?Copy !req
120. I've just workedCopy !req
121. my butt off for six hours,Copy !req
122. and I don't appreciateCopy !req
123. getting yelled atCopy !req
124. the secondCopy !req
125. I come through the door.Copy !req
126. You're complaining?Copy !req
127. No... complain!Copy !req
128. Yell... us!Copy !req
129. Hal, give yourselfCopy !req
130. another minute.Copy !req
131. Or you bothCopy !req
132. could just shut up.Copy !req
133. Oh, boy.Copy !req
134. In this family, that'sCopy !req
135. what we call "the closer."Copy !req
136. We now know thatCopy !req
137. Reese is definitelyCopy !req
138. not living here forCopy !req
139. the next few days.Copy !req
140. The only question left isCopy !req
141. who gets to take the credit.Copy !req
142. You're kicked out!Copy !req
143. I'm leaving!Copy !req
144. Not if we getCopy !req
145. to the doorknob first!Copy !req
146. You're outta here!Copy !req
147. I'm outta here!Copy !req
148. Tie goes to the runner.Copy !req
149. They kicked Reese out again?Copy !req
150. Yeah, we haven't heardCopy !req
151. from him in two days.Copy !req
152. I'm actually impressed.Copy !req
153. Usually by nowCopy !req
154. he's eating cat foodCopy !req
155. off of Mrs. Harvey's porch.Copy !req
156. This is horrible.Copy !req
157. How can they do thisCopy !req
158. to their own children?Copy !req
159. Yeah, it's reallyCopy !req
160. traumatizing me.Copy !req
161. Don't they careCopy !req
162. about the psychologicalCopy !req
163. damage they're inflicting?Copy !req
164. A home isn't conditional.Copy !req
165. A home should beCopy !req
166. safe and secure and...Copy !req
167. Roomy.Copy !req
168. What?Copy !req
169. The point is,Copy !req
170. I got kicked out when I was 15Copy !req
171. and I neverCopy !req
172. got to come home again.Copy !req
173. They can't do this to Reese.Copy !req
174. Someone has to do something.Copy !req
175. Someone has to stop them.Copy !req
176. Am I the only oneCopy !req
177. who understandsCopy !req
178. what kind of monstersCopy !req
179. these people are?Copy !req
180. I don't think thisCopy !req
181. is as big a dealCopy !req
182. to the rest of the familyCopy !req
183. as it is to you.Copy !req
184. Maybe you're overreacting.Copy !req
185. Overreacting?Copy !req
186. Dewey, when you're older,Copy !req
187. you will understand.Copy !req
188. There are things in lifeCopy !req
189. called priorities,Copy !req
190. which I will explain to youCopy !req
191. in a few hours when I get there.Copy !req
192. Right now, I have to call OttoCopy !req
193. and cash in some personal days.Copy !req
194. Overreacting.Copy !req
195. Great timing. TheCopy !req
196. muffins just came out.Copy !req
197. Thank God you called me.Copy !req
198. I can't believe the hellCopy !req
199. Mom and Dad put you through.Copy !req
200. Hey, whose placeCopy !req
201. is this?Copy !req
202. It's mine.Copy !req
203. It's completely furnished,Copy !req
204. including cable TV.Copy !req
205. I told them I was 18,Copy !req
206. so I got a two-year lease.Copy !req
207. You're a banana-Copy !req
208. walnut man, right?Copy !req
209. Reese, you can't liveCopy !req
210. in a place like this.Copy !req
211. Yeah, I can.Copy !req
212. They were havingCopy !req
213. a move-in special.Copy !req
214. First month free.Copy !req
215. It's only $375 a month,Copy !req
216. utilities included.Copy !req
217. I can make my rent in a weekCopy !req
218. if I pick up an extra shift.Copy !req
219. I should have done this,Copy !req
220. like, six months ago.Copy !req
221. Hey, Reese, come on,Copy !req
222. we're going to the roof.Copy !req
223. The nursing studentsCopy !req
224. across the streetCopy !req
225. are takingCopy !req
226. their cigarette break.Copy !req
227. I'm sorry, I can't.Copy !req
228. I'm having my brothersCopy !req
229. over for breakfast.Copy !req
230. Francis, this is Teddy,Copy !req
231. Lou, George.Copy !req
232. Divorced, separated,Copy !req
233. wife's doing the best friend.Copy !req
234. Ex-best friend.Copy !req
235. Excuse me.Copy !req
236. All right, well,Copy !req
237. you know where we'll be.Copy !req
238. Hey, is that a wedding ring?Copy !req
239. Yeah.Copy !req
240. Start hidingCopy !req
241. the money now, friend.Copy !req
242. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
243. Oh, man,Copy !req
244. this place is awesome.Copy !req
245. Reese, I know you thinkCopy !req
246. this place is great,Copy !req
247. but any objectiveCopy !req
248. observer will tell youCopy !req
249. it's most certainly not.Copy !req
250. Whoa!Copy !req
251. This place is awesome!Copy !req
252. One thing's for sure.Copy !req
253. I'd never, ever leaveCopy !req
254. if I were you.Copy !req
255. So who's up forCopy !req
256. some muffins?Copy !req
257. I am.Copy !req
258. Me.Copy !req
259. No! No muffins.Copy !req
260. Reese, you can't just keepCopy !req
261. playing house like this.Copy !req
262. Mom and Dad did somethingCopy !req
263. really horrible to you,Copy !req
264. just like they did to me,Copy !req
265. only you can't let themCopy !req
266. get away with it.Copy !req
267. You don't belong here.Copy !req
268. You belong at home.Copy !req
269. All right, fine.Copy !req
270. Tell me one thingCopy !req
271. about my lifeCopy !req
272. that would be betterCopy !req
273. if I was still at home.Copy !req
274. I thought the "toilet seatCopy !req
275. never needs warming" argumentCopy !req
276. was pretty good.Copy !req
277. Okay, the main thing to rememberCopy !req
278. is that a college essayCopy !req
279. is just like any otherCopy !req
280. essay you've written.Copy !req
281. You know, like homework.Copy !req
282. For one of your classes.Copy !req
283. Come on, Ira,Copy !req
284. I know it seems hard,Copy !req
285. but you justCopy !req
286. have to get started.Copy !req
287. Like, if you had to describeCopy !req
288. yourself in one word,Copy !req
289. what would that word be?Copy !req
290. Ira.Copy !req
291. Okay. There we go.Copy !req
292. "Ira."Copy !req
293. See? We started.Copy !req
294. Now, what else?Copy !req
295. I don't know.Copy !req
296. I'm not much of aCopy !req
297. writer or a reader.Copy !req
298. I don't like words.Copy !req
299. They confuse me.Copy !req
300. There's, like, hundreds of them.Copy !req
301. Calm down. You can do this.Copy !req
302. You know what?Copy !req
303. I'm going to say something,Copy !req
304. and you just say the first thingCopy !req
305. that comes to your head.Copy !req
306. My earliest memory in life is...Copy !req
307. Blue.Copy !req
308. Thing.Copy !req
309. Blue thing.Copy !req
310. Good, you can use that.Copy !req
311. Like, um...Copy !req
312. "Sometimes my childhoodCopy !req
313. "feels vague and distant,Copy !req
314. like something drapedCopy !req
315. in a blue haze."Copy !req
316. See?Copy !req
317. Yeah. That's cool.Copy !req
318. Okay, my biggest fear is...Copy !req
319. Spiders.Copy !req
320. No— waffles.Copy !req
321. "I let my fears wash overCopy !req
322. me and I see that I amCopy !req
323. "imprinted withCopy !req
324. a repeating patternCopy !req
325. of optimism and despair."Copy !req
326. Hey, that's not bad.Copy !req
327. "I hope somedayCopy !req
328. "to free myself,Copy !req
329. to find the one thing..."Copy !req
330. You're not goingCopy !req
331. to do anything?Copy !req
332. You have to goCopy !req
333. to that apartmentCopy !req
334. and get him back.Copy !req
335. Look, that's not how it works.Copy !req
336. Oh, I know how it works.Copy !req
337. I was thrownCopy !req
338. into military school so fast,Copy !req
339. I still had shampoo in my hair.Copy !req
340. The minuteCopy !req
341. a childCopy !req
342. is inconvenient to you,Copy !req
343. you kick him out.Copy !req
344. Francis, this is reallyCopy !req
345. none of your business.Copy !req
346. You don't evenCopy !req
347. live here anymore.Copy !req
348. Because you kicked me out!Copy !req
349. And now you're doingCopy !req
350. the same thing to Reese.Copy !req
351. Right now he's sittingCopy !req
352. in that apartmentCopy !req
353. with his cable TVCopy !req
354. and his huge stackCopy !req
355. of video games...Copy !req
356. miserable.Copy !req
357. If Reese is unhappy,Copy !req
358. he brought it on himself.Copy !req
359. Really? So what's this?Copy !req
360. Like the tenth time he'sCopy !req
361. "brought it on himself"?Copy !req
362. And let's see,Copy !req
363. Malcolm's "brought itCopy !req
364. on himself" six times,Copy !req
365. so with my 28 times,Copy !req
366. that makes...Copy !req
367. 40 kick-outs,Copy !req
368. three different kids,Copy !req
369. and the only constantCopy !req
370. through all of this is you two.Copy !req
371. Francis,Copy !req
372. that is not fair.Copy !req
373. Maybe you justCopy !req
374. don't like sharingCopy !req
375. your house with your children.Copy !req
376. So when's Dewey goingCopy !req
377. to "bring it on himself"?Copy !req
378. When's Jamie?Copy !req
379. Where is Jamie?Copy !req
380. He's atCopy !req
381. the babysitter's.Copy !req
382. Just till 5:00.Copy !req
383. Oh, forCopy !req
384. the love of God, Carol,Copy !req
385. leave me my dignity.Copy !req
386. Okay, take my dignity.Copy !req
387. Just let me see my kids.Copy !req
388. Just pull the trigger.Copy !req
389. In one second,Copy !req
390. it'll all be over.Copy !req
391. Come on, stop beingCopy !req
392. such a coward and do it!Copy !req
393. Hey, Dave, is that you?Copy !req
394. Uh... yeah.Copy !req
395. What channelCopy !req
396. do you have on in there?Copy !req
397. It sounds betterCopy !req
398. than what I'm watching.Copy !req
399. This is all...Copy !req
400. new to us.Copy !req
401. We've never...Copy !req
402. examined ourCopy !req
403. parenting before.Copy !req
404. It always seemedCopy !req
405. to usCopy !req
406. like something that shouldCopy !req
407. just come naturally.Copy !req
408. Yeah, everythingCopy !req
409. on the planet'sCopy !req
410. been having kidsCopy !req
411. for billions of years.Copy !req
412. I mean,Copy !req
413. look at snakes.Copy !req
414. They never takeCopy !req
415. parenting classes.Copy !req
416. The world'sCopy !req
417. crawling with them.Copy !req
418. How exactly did youCopy !req
419. want me to help you?Copy !req
420. Well, we have fallenCopy !req
421. into a bad pattern.Copy !req
422. Our boys misbehaveCopy !req
423. and they are punished.Copy !req
424. And then theyCopy !req
425. severelyCopy !req
426. misbehaveCopy !req
427. and they areCopy !req
428. severely punished.Copy !req
429. And then they misbehaveCopy !req
430. in some outlandish,Copy !req
431. jaw-dropping way where,Copy !req
432. if we responded in kind,Copy !req
433. we'd end up in jail.Copy !req
434. We're at the endCopy !req
435. of our rope here.Copy !req
436. Well, of course you are.Copy !req
437. So, we were hopingCopy !req
438. that with all your training,Copy !req
439. you could teach usCopy !req
440. some kind of subtle trickCopy !req
441. that would stop themCopy !req
442. in their tracks.Copy !req
443. Trick?Copy !req
444. Yeah, you know,Copy !req
445. some kind of secretCopy !req
446. psychological thingCopy !req
447. that would get them to shut upCopy !req
448. and listen to us for a change.Copy !req
449. Yeah, my husband'sCopy !req
450. getting older.Copy !req
451. I mean, he can stillCopy !req
452. take them individually,Copy !req
453. but if they everCopy !req
454. team up on him...Copy !req
455. Look, I don't thinkCopy !req
456. it's a good ideaCopy !req
457. to treat kids like criminals orCopy !req
458. animals that need to be broken.Copy !req
459. You've never met our boys.Copy !req
460. Yeah, you can't beginCopy !req
461. to imagine the things they do.Copy !req
462. I've been practicing psychiatryCopy !req
463. for 40 years.Copy !req
464. There's nothing you could sayCopy !req
465. that would shock me.Copy !req
466. All right.Copy !req
467. Last week, Reese...Copy !req
468. Oh, my God!Copy !req
469. What were the cats for?Copy !req
470. We don't know.Copy !req
471. Give me a minute.Copy !req
472. Now...Copy !req
473. even in the most extreme,Copy !req
474. breathtakingly horrifying cases,Copy !req
475. there are some techniquesCopy !req
476. that can be useful.Copy !req
477. Yes! See, I told you this wasn'tCopy !req
478. a waste of 90 bucks.Copy !req
479. Have you ever heardCopy !req
480. of Active Listening?Copy !req
481. No.Copy !req
482. Most teenagers act outCopy !req
483. because they feel no one cares.Copy !req
484. With Active Listening,Copy !req
485. you mirror backCopy !req
486. everything your child says,Copy !req
487. which shows you'reCopy !req
488. hearing them,Copy !req
489. and, by extension,Copy !req
490. understanding.Copy !req
491. I know.Copy !req
492. It sounds simple.Copy !req
493. But believe me,Copy !req
494. I've seen it work miracles.Copy !req
495. Yeah, I don't think ReeseCopy !req
496. would respond to that.Copy !req
497. You're worriedCopy !req
498. it won't help him.Copy !req
499. Yes! What if it actually makesCopy !req
500. it worse?Copy !req
501. I don't thinkCopy !req
502. I could standCopy !req
503. any more troubleCopy !req
504. with him.Copy !req
505. Oh, this is so confusing!Copy !req
506. You're feeling mixed-upCopy !req
507. right now.Copy !req
508. God, yes, I am.Copy !req
509. You know, I'm usuallyCopy !req
510. so sure of myself,Copy !req
511. but this whole thingCopy !req
512. has just made me questionCopy !req
513. every aspect of...Copy !req
514. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
515. Oh, that's really good.Copy !req
516. "... I now realizeCopy !req
517. "that blue is not theCopy !req
518. color of confusion,Copy !req
519. "but rather,Copy !req
520. it is the color of hope."Copy !req
521. Yeah.Copy !req
522. That's it.Copy !req
523. Dude, the parts I understood...Copy !req
524. they were awesome.Copy !req
525. Great, well, nowCopy !req
526. that we have theCopy !req
527. ideas all down,Copy !req
528. all we have to do is putCopy !req
529. it into the kind of wordsCopy !req
530. that you would actually...Copy !req
531. Thanks, Malcolm.Copy !req
532. You're awesome.Copy !req
533. People are going to thinkCopy !req
534. I'm so smart.Copy !req
535. Wait! We're not done yet.Copy !req
536. Hold on a second...Copy !req
537. Blue is definitelyCopy !req
538. my favorite color now.Copy !req
539. Hey! Let's get going, Reese.Copy !req
540. It's Ladies-Get-Free-ShrimpCopy !req
541. Night at the Red Lobster.Copy !req
542. Maybe I'll meet you down there.Copy !req
543. I got to get a jumpCopy !req
544. on my homework.Copy !req
545. Hey, you already blew offCopy !req
546. Air Hockey NightCopy !req
547. and Pot Luck Wednesday,Copy !req
548. but I was counting on youCopy !req
549. for tonight.Copy !req
550. I need someone to turn theCopy !req
551. conversation to my tongue trick.Copy !req
552. I guess now that I'm on my own,Copy !req
553. I just feelCopy !req
554. like being more responsible.Copy !req
555. Hey, I got three kids.Copy !req
556. You don't see me talkingCopy !req
557. about responsibility.Copy !req
558. Come on, I'm not takingCopy !req
559. no for an answer.Copy !req
560. Okay, okay.Copy !req
561. Mom? I have a problem.Copy !req
562. I need to talk.Copy !req
563. Good.Copy !req
564. You can talk, and I will listen.Copy !req
565. This football player wantsCopy !req
566. to use an essay I wroteCopy !req
567. for his college applicationCopy !req
568. and pretend it's his own.Copy !req
569. I know it's dishonest,Copy !req
570. but I might be makingCopy !req
571. too much of it.Copy !req
572. I wanted to get your advice.Copy !req
573. You're hopingCopy !req
574. I can help you.Copy !req
575. Yeah, I just said that.Copy !req
576. So, I don't think he should getCopy !req
577. into collegeCopy !req
578. under false pretenses,Copy !req
579. but are they reallyCopy !req
580. false pretensesCopy !req
581. if nobody thinksCopy !req
582. he's smart anyway?Copy !req
583. I don't wantCopy !req
584. to be a partCopy !req
585. of his cheating,Copy !req
586. but I also don't wantCopy !req
587. to take away his shotCopy !req
588. at going to college.Copy !req
589. I just don't know what to do.Copy !req
590. You're uncertain...Copy !req
591. what action to take.Copy !req
592. Yes!Copy !req
593. Why are you talkingCopy !req
594. like a robot?Copy !req
595. You want to know why I'm...Copy !req
596. talking like a robot.Copy !req
597. I have a problem,Copy !req
598. and I need your help!Copy !req
599. All you're doing is mindlesslyCopy !req
600. parroting back what I say!Copy !req
601. You say one thing,Copy !req
602. and I restate it.Copy !req
603. Forget it! If you'reCopy !req
604. not going to help me,Copy !req
605. you don't have to mock me!Copy !req
606. We do not come fromCopy !req
607. a family of criminals.Copy !req
608. You do not let himCopy !req
609. turn in that essay!Copy !req
610. God, I knew listeningCopy !req
611. to our kids would be a mistake.Copy !req
612. Hello?Copy !req
613. Hello. Is this the residenceCopy !req
614. of the most un-nurturing,Copy !req
615. callous parentsCopy !req
616. in the universe?Copy !req
617. It's for you.Copy !req
618. Hello.Copy !req
619. Hi. I just got off the phoneCopy !req
620. with your son, Reese.Copy !req
621. It's been over a week,Copy !req
622. and you haven'tCopy !req
623. even talked to him?Copy !req
624. Congratulations!Copy !req
625. The fracturingCopy !req
626. of this familyCopy !req
627. is now two-fifths complete.Copy !req
628. Francis, this is a very hardCopy !req
629. and complicated situation,Copy !req
630. and I don't need youCopy !req
631. to yell at me right now.Copy !req
632. There is nothing complicatedCopy !req
633. about it.Copy !req
634. Just go to his apartment,Copy !req
635. tell him you love himCopy !req
636. and ask him to come home.Copy !req
637. Are you nuts?Copy !req
638. This is ReeseCopy !req
639. we're talking about.Copy !req
640. So what?Copy !req
641. Come on! You knowCopy !req
642. exactly how he thinks.Copy !req
643. If we showCopy !req
644. that kind of weakness,Copy !req
645. it's like showing a hyenaCopy !req
646. the belly of an antelope.Copy !req
647. Reese will come homeCopy !req
648. with no limitsCopy !req
649. and no boundaries.Copy !req
650. Within five years,Copy !req
651. we will be sayingCopy !req
652. our last words to himCopy !req
653. over a police bullhorn.Copy !req
654. All I know is that you haveCopy !req
655. a child that needs you.Copy !req
656. No, he doesn't!Copy !req
657. He's happy where he is,Copy !req
658. and so are we!Copy !req
659. Dewey, get off the phone.Copy !req
660. Mom, I understandCopy !req
661. what you're worried about,Copy !req
662. but there is more to ReeseCopy !req
663. than you give him credit for.Copy !req
664. I wish I could believe that.Copy !req
665. Honey, I got to go.Copy !req
666. There's another call.Copy !req
667. What'd he...?Copy !req
668. Hello.Copy !req
669. Yes, this is she.Copy !req
670. This is Peter Noyes,Copy !req
671. Reese's chemistry teacher.Copy !req
672. I'm sure you remember meCopy !req
673. from last year's hearing.Copy !req
674. There's something...Copy !req
675. new I have to discuss with you.Copy !req
676. Oh, my God! What did he do now?Copy !req
677. Your son...Copy !req
678. He got an "A" on his midterm?Copy !req
679. They matched the handwriting,Copy !req
680. they had him reenactCopy !req
681. the experiment.Copy !req
682. He did it himself.Copy !req
683. Mr. Noyes said it'sCopy !req
684. the most remarkable turnaroundCopy !req
685. he's ever seen.Copy !req
686. Wow!Copy !req
687. He also said that we should beCopy !req
688. really proud of ourselves.Copy !req
689. Hey, Ira.Copy !req
690. Listen, do you haveCopy !req
691. that essay I wrote?Copy !req
692. I just wanted to makeCopy !req
693. one quick change.Copy !req
694. Yeah.Copy !req
695. Here it is.Copy !req
696. The change I wantCopy !req
697. to make is this.Copy !req
698. Was it too long?Copy !req
699. No!Copy !req
700. Listen to me, Ira.Copy !req
701. Everyone gives you breaks.Copy !req
702. Everyone doesCopy !req
703. everything for you.Copy !req
704. You might think it'sCopy !req
705. good, but it's not.Copy !req
706. They're telling you you're anCopy !req
707. idiot, and you're not an idiot.Copy !req
708. You can write this essay.Copy !req
709. You can write thisCopy !req
710. essay on your own.Copy !req
711. Remember that storyCopy !req
712. you told me aboutCopy !req
713. the two-pound steakCopy !req
714. you once ate?Copy !req
715. You thought it'd beCopy !req
716. impossible, but you took itCopy !req
717. one bite at a time,Copy !req
718. and you did it.Copy !req
719. You just need to do theCopy !req
720. same thing with your essay.Copy !req
721. Okay, I'll try.Copy !req
722. "And then I pretendedCopy !req
723. I was Rocky,Copy !req
724. "and I told Mr. T, 'Go for it.'Copy !req
725. "I really wishedCopy !req
726. his Mohawk fell offCopy !req
727. "when he got hit.Copy !req
728. The end."Copy !req
729. Thanks, Malcolm.Copy !req
730. This is the most wordsCopy !req
731. I've ever put togetherCopy !req
732. in my life.Copy !req
733. Yeah.Copy !req
734. I-It shows.Copy !req
735. Mmm!Copy !req
736. This is amazing.Copy !req
737. I think the lemon zestCopy !req
738. really brings it to life.Copy !req
739. How's your dinner?Copy !req
740. I'm havingCopy !req
741. half-frozen Lean Cuisine.Copy !req
742. Not much of a last meal,Copy !req
743. if you ask me!Copy !req
744. What are you doing here?Copy !req
745. Can we come in?Copy !req
746. Sure. You want some dinner?Copy !req
747. No, but thank you, Reese.Copy !req
748. Seriously. I just gotCopy !req
749. a convection oven.Copy !req
750. I can whip you up a frittataCopy !req
751. in, like, ten minutes.Copy !req
752. (whispers):Copy !req
753. It's spotless.Copy !req
754. Reese, we came hereCopy !req
755. to do something.Copy !req
756. It goes againstCopy !req
757. all of our instincts,Copy !req
758. and even as I'm about to do it,Copy !req
759. it doesn't feel right.Copy !req
760. But... it seemsCopy !req
761. our instincts aren'tCopy !req
762. very good lately,Copy !req
763. so... here goes.Copy !req
764. What is it?Copy !req
765. Reese, we love you,Copy !req
766. and we think you might beCopy !req
767. better off staying here.Copy !req
768. Really?Copy !req
769. Honest to God,Copy !req
770. you seem to beCopy !req
771. doing much betterCopy !req
772. without us.Copy !req
773. I mean,Copy !req
774. let's face it,Copy !req
775. in 17 years with us,Copy !req
776. you have spentCopy !req
777. more days in juvenile courtCopy !req
778. than you have in school.Copy !req
779. But now, after tenCopy !req
780. days on your own, you...Copy !req
781. you're a functioningCopy !req
782. member of society.Copy !req
783. Wow!Copy !req
784. I must haveCopy !req
785. really changed.Copy !req
786. I don't even wantCopy !req
787. to rub it in.Copy !req
788. Mail call!Copy !req
789. I confiscated your Victoria'sCopy !req
790. Secret catalog.Copy !req
791. A kid your age should...Copy !req
792. Oh, you're entertaining.Copy !req
793. Teddy, theseCopy !req
794. are my parents.Copy !req
795. Mom, Dad, this isCopy !req
796. my neighbor, Teddy.Copy !req
797. Hello.Copy !req
798. This visitation thing'sCopy !req
799. a real pain in the ass, huh?Copy !req
800. You know, this placeCopy !req
801. isn't so bad.Copy !req
802. Next time we come,Copy !req
803. we can bring some plants.Copy !req
804. Sweet! Hold on a sec.Copy !req
805. Hi, I just gotCopy !req
806. your Deluxe Platinum Card,Copy !req
807. and I want toCopy !req
808. activate it.Copy !req
809. "Two-four-seven-one."Copy !req
810. Now, listen, I alreadyCopy !req
811. transferred a $3,000 balanceCopy !req
812. from the ValleyCopy !req
813. Federal CardCopy !req
814. over to my SpringCopy !req
815. Mills Mutual Card,Copy !req
816. because I hadCopy !req
817. an $8,000 limit.Copy !req
818. But since I'm alreadyCopy !req
819. bumping against that,Copy !req
820. I might as well transferCopy !req
821. everything to yours,Copy !req
822. because it hasCopy !req
823. a $20,000 limit.Copy !req
824. Sure, I'd love toCopy !req
825. talk to a supervisor.Copy !req
826. Hey! I was on the phone!Copy !req
827. You've been using credit cards?Copy !req
828. How much have you spent?Copy !req
829. Ten, 11 grand.Copy !req
830. But I'm stillCopy !req
831. way under the $20,000 limit.Copy !req
832. How can you spendCopy !req
833. that much in ten days?Copy !req
834. Well, you know,Copy !req
835. I got that new convection oven,Copy !req
836. and that made the refrigeratorCopy !req
837. look kind of shabby.Copy !req
838. Plus, I had to buy new clothesCopy !req
839. every time mine got dirty.Copy !req
840. And that giant gongCopy !req
841. in the bathroom?Copy !req
842. I mean,Copy !req
843. how do you guys do it?Copy !req
844. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
845. Reese, I really oweCopy !req
846. you some thanksCopy !req
847. for giving me someCopy !req
848. faith in myself.Copy !req
849. The next few days, I willCopy !req
850. be saying very little.Copy !req
851. I will be decidingCopy !req
852. on a punishment.Copy !req
853. Ideas are alreadyCopy !req
854. popping into my mind.Copy !req
855. It's really very exciting,Copy !req
856. but I don't want to get hastyCopy !req
857. and leave either of usCopy !req
858. feeling dissatisfied.Copy !req
859. Ow! You're going to drag meCopy !req
860. all the way home?Copy !req
861. Well, we're takingCopy !req
862. your ear there.Copy !req
863. If the rest of you wantsCopy !req
864. to come, that's fine, too.Copy !req
865. It's been almost a month,Copy !req
866. and Mom's still coming upCopy !req
867. with fresh punishmentsCopy !req
868. for Reese.Copy !req
869. She says she's never feltCopy !req
870. more creative.Copy !req
871. She must be doingCopy !req
872. something right.Copy !req
873. He has a white streakCopy !req
874. in his hair.Copy !req
875. Hey, Malcolm. Guess what.Copy !req
876. I got accepted.Copy !req
877. I'm going to college.Copy !req
878. Really? Which school?Copy !req
879. All of them—Copy !req
880. A&M, Tulane, Georgia, Stanford.Copy !req
881. Full scholarshipsCopy !req
882. and everything.Copy !req
883. Stanford liked your essay?Copy !req
884. No, I forgot to put it inCopy !req
885. the envelope. I got in, anyway.Copy !req
886. But don't worry.Copy !req
887. That essay didn't go to waste.Copy !req
888. I handed it in asCopy !req
889. my math midterm and got an "A."Copy !req
890. Thanks for making me believeCopy !req
891. in myself, Malcolm.Copy !req
892. You proved that I don't needCopy !req
893. all these people helping me.Copy !req
894. See ya.Copy !req
895. Stanford. Poor guy.Copy !req
896. I'll bet he doesn't knowCopy !req
897. it only hasCopy !req
898. the third-best astrophysicsCopy !req
899. department in the country.Copy !req