1. Goo-goo-goo-goo.
Goo-goo-goo-goo.
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2. Look. Your Aunt Felicia
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3. sent us two presents
for the baby.
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4. A ballerina outfit
and a football?
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5. Well, I guess she's
hedging her bets.
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6. I mean, Jamie could be
a name for either sex.
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7. Well, I guess I'll just
send this one to Goodwill.
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8. Oh, that's ridiculous.
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9. The birth announcement clearly
said that Jamie's a... Hey.
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10. They changed the
little dinosaur.
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11. That's right. All
it takes is one look
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12. to see that Jamie
is clearly a...
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13. Reese! For crying out loud!
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14. How can anyone
not know what you are?
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15. Ooh-ooh.
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16. Nice try, mister.
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17. Come on, Gordo.
One more bite and it's all gone.
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18. What are you doing
with my rabbit?
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19. Just giving him
his afternoon bacon.
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20. He's too fat.
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21. You have to stop
feeding him.
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22. I'm the one who has to sit
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23. through
the Junior Farmers' meetings
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24. while everyone makes fun of him.
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25. Those people
are small-minded idiots
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26. who have no idea what
we're trying to do.
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27. What are we trying to do?
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28. I don't know.
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29. I kind of had this vision
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30. of me riding him
through town,
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31. knocking over cars,
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32. but that's probably
not realistic.
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33. What happened to you?
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34. Some idiot forgot
to top off the oil
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35. in the tractor,
and the whole damn engine blew.
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36. Well, whose job is that?
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37. Mine. I'm telling you,
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38. this whole ranch is a disaster.
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39. The furnace is clogged.
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40. The generator's out of diesel.
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41. Even the gate
to the cow pen is falling apart.
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42. All those things
are your responsibility.
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43. I don't know what's
going on with you lately,
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44. but you'd better
get it together.
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45. Otto's a pretty easygoing boss,
but even he has limits.
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46. Fire! Fire! Francis, is a fire!
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47. What? Where?
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48. Right here on your
cake.
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49. God, it's been a year already?
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50. As of 9/31.
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51. So far, your first
three hours of year two
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52. are going much better than
I ever could have hoped.
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53. Ooh!
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54. Congratulations.
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55. You won the jackpot.
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56. Oh, my God, would
you look at this?
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57. What does Reese do
to his underpants?
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58. There's not enough money
in the world to make me look up.
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59. What's this?
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60. "Certificate of Achievement
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61. for Excellence in Science"?
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62. From the state?
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63. It's nothing.
They hand
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64. these out like candy.
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65. Don't be so modest.
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66. It's wonderful,
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67. and I think it proves my point
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68. about you
not getting that earring.
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69. How does that...?
Malcolm.
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70. Malcolm, I need to talk to you.
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71. You read all those
science magazines.
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72. What can you tell me
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73. about the meaning of dreams?
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74. Dreams?
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75. Well, some people think
they express
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76. your subconscious wishes...
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77. No, no, no, no, no.
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78. The other kind of dreams,
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79. prophetic ones that
predict the future.
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80. I had one.
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81. About a giant
slot machine.
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82. That's insane, Dad.
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83. Oh, it was so vivid.
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84. There, there was this
mysterious stain on my shirt
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85. an-and a balloon,
and then this music
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86. and then I hit this
gigantic jackpot.
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87. It was a sign, son. I know it.
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88. It's my destiny.
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89. Dad.
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90. You have weird dreams
all the time.
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91. Like the singing trash cans.
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92. I never said
that was prophetic.
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93. I said it was cool.
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94. Well?
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95. What did they
think of Gordo?
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96. They called him a monster.
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97. Then they called me
a crime against nature.
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98. Maybe it was the
other way around.
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99. All I remember is,
I was crying.
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100. You have to expect
this kind of resistance
when you're trying to play God.
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101. Just wait till we get
to the nationals.
Then we'll get some respect.
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102. We're not going
to the nationals!
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103. They're all the way
in Las Vegas!
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104. Las Vegas?
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105. What's in Las Vegas?
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106. A chance for Reese
to make me look
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107. like a jerk in front
of the entire country.
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108. Well, don't you
worry, son.
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109. We won't
miss that.
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110. Of course we'll
go to Vegas!
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111. Did you hear that, Malcolm?
This is another sign!
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112. All I have to do is cash in
our life insurance policy
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113. to pay for the trip...
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114. Dad, are you sure
you want to...?
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115. Son, you don't need
life insurance
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116. when you're a kajillionaire.
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117. It doesn't make fiscal sense.
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118. Maybe you want
to run your plan by Mom first.
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119. I will. I will.
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120. I just want
to be careful about it.
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121. But if I explain it
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122. in just the right way...
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123. A $1,000 bonus from work.
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124. Hal, I am so proud of you.
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125. Hey, considering
the $12 million I saved them
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126. with my idea for
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127. outsourcing flux capacitors,
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128. it was the least they can do.
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129. And part of that roast
is for you, Malcolm...
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130. Mr. State
Science Achievement.
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131. Yeah, it, it was nothing.
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132. Is that what
that big ceremony
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133. at school was for?
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134. Reese!
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135. What ceremony?
There was a ceremony?
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136. Yeah, the mayor
was there,
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137. and we all
got out of school.
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138. Stop kicking me!
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139. I'll get to the news crew
in a second.
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140. Malcolm, how
could you not
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141. tell us about something
so important?
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142. We're your parents!
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143. You're overreacting.
It wasn't a big deal.
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144. That's not for you to decide!
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145. How can you be so selfish?
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146. I wasn't being selfish.
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147. I just didn't
want you there
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148. because you em...
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149. barrass...
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150. Abort! Abort!
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151. me.
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152. Oh.
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153. Okay.
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154. At least I know.
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155. Give Gordo your fat.
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156. Hey, Mom,
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157. do you want the rest
of my milk shake?
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158. It's really good.
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159. No, thanks. I'm fine.
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160. It's strawberry.
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161. I know that's
your favorite.
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162. I'll take that.
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163. Hal, look!
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164. Boone Vincent
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165. is playing
in Las Vegas.
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166. Who's Boone Vincent?
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167. Your mom's boyfriend.
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168. Stop it.
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169. You would not believe
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170. this jackass, boys.
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171. Women go crazy for him.
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172. He plays every instrument
in the orchestra.
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173. He sings
in four languages.
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174. And you like him
just as much as I do!
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175. Oh, please,
I just said that
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176. to get you into bed.
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177. That... when, that
time you were so sick
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178. and you needed
your rest.
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179. Hey, check it out!
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180. Only eight more
miles to Vegas!
Hey!
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181. Hal, look at this place.
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182. It's so classy.
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183. What's the matter?
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184. Never seen an 80-pound
rabbit before?
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185. Uh-oh.
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186. Got a little spit-up.
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187. Here...
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188. Oh... honey, do you
have a little, uh..
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189. Oh.
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190. Oh, my God! That's the one!
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191. Yes! I knew it!
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192. Oh, my God, Hal.
You won the jackpot!
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193. I can't believe it!
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194. So, Malcolm?
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195. What do you and your science
have to say now?
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196. We say you're having
another dream, Dad.
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197. Don't believe him. This is real.
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198. ♪ We wouldn't lie to you.
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199. I can't hear you, Otto.
There's too much static.
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200. And yelling won't help.
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201. Yes, Otto,
I know about the well.
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202. I was going to fence it off
last week.
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203. I just didn't get around to it.
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204. Otto, I can't hear you.
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205. I will fence off the well
as soon as I find it.
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206. Aah!
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207. Can you hear me now?
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208. My God, look
at these puny rabbits.
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209. What do people do
with them?
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210. I don't know.
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211. Maybe love them
and hug them
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212. and watch them hop
around the backyard,
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213. which they can do
because their feet
can touch the ground.
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214. I bet Gordo could fit
that one in his mouth.
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215. Hey, Mom, I...
Did you find
your father?
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216. No. I-I wasn't...
Well, it doesn't matter.
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217. I went through his wallet
when we passed the state line.
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218. Let's see how much damage
he can do
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219. with $20 and a library card.
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220. Okay, look, since you're
obviously too caught up
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221. in playing the martyr here
to even listen to an apology,
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222. you've forced me to
go out and get these.
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223. They're for that stupid
Boone Vincent guy.
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224. We're going together.
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225. Hey, that came out
better than I thought.
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226. VIP seats?
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227. Hi, my name is Dewey
and this is my...
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228. Good Lord!
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229. What have you done
to this poor animal?
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230. In all my years
of judging rabbits,
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231. this is the uncutest thing
I have ever seen.
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232. You should be ashamed
of yourself.
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233. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my...!
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234. Help us!
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235. We have fallen down a well
and we can't get out!
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236. If there is anyone up there
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237. who is just very shy,
do not worry!
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238. We are not judgmental!
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239. As a matter of fact,
when I was a little boy...
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240. Otto, please!
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241. No one can hear you.
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242. This is not productive.
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243. Can we just...
Can we think for a second?
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244. Don't you ever blink?
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245. Maybe I blink at the precise
moment that you blink!
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246. That is ridiculous! How
could you possibly know that?
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247. Why don't you spend
less time worrying
about my blinking
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248. and more time
fencing up wells!
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249. Germans hate
dying in wells!
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250. Fine! If you are so unhappy
with the work I do around here,
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251. then I quit!
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252. Imagine I stormed off!
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253. I did.
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254. Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
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255. We're going to see
Boone Vincent.
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256. Look at these seats!
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257. This is incredible!
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258. Another Boone-a-tic, I see.
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259. The Bad Boone Rising tour,
were you there?
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260. I had floor seats when he had
his first heart attack.
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261. These are my sons.
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262. This is Malcolm
and this is Jamie.
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263. Oh, my Joey is here
with me, too.
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264. Maybe the boys can sit together.
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265. Two apricot sours.
Oh!
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266. Ladies and gentlemen,
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267. prepare yourselves
for the voice that is America.
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268. It's Boone...!
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269. The worst part is,
this is my first concert.
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270. Those aren't for you!
Pass 'em up!
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271. Have you ever had a dream
that didn't come true?
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272. Surprisingly, no.
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273. Dewey, where have you been?
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274. Hi, Reese. This is Crystal.
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275. It turns out we had Gordo
in the wrong category.
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276. We had him in the pet rabbit
competition,
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277. when he should have been in
the mark rabbit competition.
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278. I took him over there,
and he won first place!
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279. What?
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280. Some guy named Chez Richard
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281. bought him for $1.90 a pound.
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282. We made like 150 bucks!
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283. Chez Richard?
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284. That's the restaurant!
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285. How could you do that?
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286. They're going to kill him
and eat him!
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287. Don't you understand?
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288. He was my best friend
in the whole world!
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289. Mine, too.
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290. It's all right, sugar.
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291. My best friend got killed
in a restaurant.
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292. You'll get over it eventually.
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293. Cry, scream, projectile vomit!
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294. Do something to get us
out of here!
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295. Excuse me. Excuse me.
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296. Mr. Vincent appreciates
your enthusiasm.
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297. He wonders if you'd like
to come backstage and meet him.
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298. Oh, my...
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299. Oh, my God, you get
to see the "Booney Bin!"
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300. I bet you won't be
too embarrassed
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301. to tell your friends
about this.
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302. Okay.
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303. I'll cause a distraction.
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304. You go in the kitchen
and get Gordo.
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305. Oh, my God.
This boy's choking!
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306. You're not doing it
hard enough.
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307. Ugh!
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308. Move, I'm bigger.
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309. Ugh!
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310. Ow!
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311. Once again, we're very sorry
about all the trouble we caused.
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312. I know there's no way
we can make up
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313. for the broken tables,
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314. or the paramedics,
or the fire,
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315. or the guy that was really
choking that nobody noticed.
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316. He touched
my shoulder!
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317. I can't believe
this is actually happening!
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318. I can smell
his cologne out here!
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319. Oh, my God, I'm next.
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320. Does my hair look okay?
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321. Compared to his?
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322. Hello, sweetheart.
Thank you for your support.
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323. It means
so much to me.
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324. No, thank you
for your music.
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325. Especially, um,
"Cinnamon Rainbow."
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326. That is my
all-time favorite.
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327. Really?
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328. Mine, too,
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329. but no one's ever
told me that before.
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330. Come in.
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331. I'm going in.
I don't care what I see.
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332. Yes, I do.
Who am I kidding?
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333. You mean he actually said
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334. he didn't want you
at his awards ceremony?
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335. I can handle his being mad
at me, but this was...
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336. Right to the old love pump.
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337. That's how
I got to see your show.
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338. My son bought tickets
to try to make it up to me.
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339. That's not an olive branch.
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340. That's the whole damn tree.
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341. Ah, it's like I say
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342. when I'm
in the astronaut suit...
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343. "I believe the children
are our future."
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344. I do, too.
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345. You can't really take
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346. what they say
too seriously.
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347. They're teenagers.
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348. I'll let you in
on a little secret, Lois...
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349. Even my 14-year-old
is embarrassed by me.
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350. No.
I know.
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351. Hard to believe, isn't it?
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352. But you can't hold
onto the past, Lois.
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353. You've got to live
in the here and now.
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354. Because
the here and now
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355. is a special, special gift.
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356. That's why I call it...
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357. the present.
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358. Otto.
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359. Oh, are you still here?
I thought you quit.
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360. You were right.
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361. This is my fault.
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362. For some reason,
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363. I've been sabotaging
everything lately.
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364. Knowing that I've
been here for a year,
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365. it's like people
are depending on me now.
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366. And I know that at some point,
I'm going to let them down.
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367. Don't be ridiculous.
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368. No one...
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369. expects you
to be perfect.
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370. If I wanted
perfection
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371. I would have hired
a robot or a Swede,
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372. but I hired you, Francis,
Copy !req
373. because you're smart,
you're a hard worker,
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374. and when you make
a mistake, you fix it.
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375. If falling down a well
every once in a while
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376. is the price I must pay
to have you, so be it.
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377. Thanks, Otto.
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378. There you are!
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379. Thank God!
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380. How did you find us?
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381. We just followed
the fire.
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382. What fire?
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383. One of the cows got through
the gate you didn't fix.
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384. And it knocked over
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385. one of the heat lamps
you never took in.
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386. Which set fire to
the trail of gasoline
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387. from the open can
in the back of your truck.
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388. Which, by the way,
also is on fire.
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389. Ah, you see, Francis?
Copy !req
390. You thought you
were a screwup.
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391. 90,000 slot machines
and not one of them right.
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392. I am never trusting
a prophetic dream again.
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393. Thanks again, Malcolm.
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394. Don't tell your father,
Copy !req
395. but meeting Boone Vincent
actually made my knees...
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396. Aah! No-no-no-no-no-no...
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397. Hal! What the...?
I found you!
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398. It's all here!
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399. Would you like a free pull, sir?
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400. Yes, I would.
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401. Oh!
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402. I knew it!
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403. Hal, what is
the matter?
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404. It's fate, Lois!
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405. I knew this would happen!
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406. I couldn't
tell you because
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407. I knew you would be
too closed-minded.
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408. I cashed in our life insurance
for this,
Copy !req
409. but it all paid off!
Copy !req
410. We are rich!
Copy !req
411. You did what?
Copy !req
412. Congratulations, sir.
Copy !req
413. What's this?
Copy !req
414. It's a coupon
for a two-night stay
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415. at the Carson City
Breezeway Motel.
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416. All you have
to do is listen
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417. to a four-hour
presentation
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418. about a wonderful
time-share opportunity.
Copy !req
419. Do they have slot machines
in Carson City?
Copy !req
420. Come on, Gordo.
Copy !req
421. You have to eat
the pellets.
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422. You can't have any
fattening food anymore.
Copy !req
423. Please, Gordo, you've got
Copy !req
424. to try one...
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425. Ow!
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426. I cut my finger.
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427. He's eating.
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428. I think he likes
your blood.
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429. Okay, if I black out,
pull my finger out of his mouth.
Copy !req
430. So, ten hours
of stony silence?
Copy !req
431. I may have some thoughts
I feel like sharing.
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432. I'll let you know.
Copy !req
433. Well, this trip
wasn't a total loss.
Copy !req
434. At least I...
Copy !req
435. It was a total loss.
Copy !req
436. The good news is,
the survival mechanism
Copy !req
437. in my brain is kicking in.
Copy !req
438. I'm already starting
to block out
Copy !req
439. what happened this weekend.
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440. ♪ I feel like making love
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