1. "I'll say yon greyCopy !req
2. is not the morning's eye.Copy !req
3. "'Tis but the pale reflexCopy !req
4. of Cynthia's brow.Copy !req
5. "Nor that is not the larkCopy !req
6. "whose notes do beatCopy !req
7. "the vaulty heavensCopy !req
8. so high above our head.Copy !req
9. "I have more care to stayCopy !req
10. than will to go.Copy !req
11. Come, death. And welcome."Copy !req
12. Yes! He nailed it!Copy !req
13. Malcolm...Copy !req
14. that was wonderful!Copy !req
15. So sensitiveCopy !req
16. and full of passion.Copy !req
17. It was just beautiful.Copy !req
18. Before you say anything,Copy !req
19. just rememberCopy !req
20. we're best friends.Copy !req
21. So that wheelchairCopy !req
22. isn't gonna stop meCopy !req
23. from kicking your ass.Copy !req
24. Bring it on, Homeo.Copy !req
25. What do you meanCopy !req
26. what happens when you die?Copy !req
27. You're dead.Copy !req
28. That's it.Copy !req
29. Oh, now,Copy !req
30. honey, that's not quite true.Copy !req
31. Actually, son, after deathCopy !req
32. your body undergoesCopy !req
33. a fascinating series of changes.Copy !req
34. First, it bloats upCopy !req
35. like a balloon.Copy !req
36. Then shrivels like a raisin.Copy !req
37. Then tiny microbesCopy !req
38. you can't even see,Copy !req
39. but are on you right now,Copy !req
40. start to devour your fleshCopy !req
41. and return all the elementsCopy !req
42. in your body back to the soil.Copy !req
43. Now, some people will tell youCopy !req
44. that your hair keeps growing,Copy !req
45. but that's... that's a myth.Copy !req
46. It's actually your headCopy !req
47. that shrinks.Copy !req
48. Now, go get readyCopy !req
49. for Aunt Helen's funeral.Copy !req
50. Julie, listen, I'm sorryCopy !req
51. I'm canceling out so late.Copy !req
52. That's okay.Copy !req
53. I mean, it's a funeral.Copy !req
54. So, were you closeCopy !req
55. with your aunt?Copy !req
56. No, but I guess my mom was.Copy !req
57. She keeps sayingCopy !req
58. how important this is.Copy !req
59. Anyway, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
60. Especially since you're stuckCopy !req
61. with the extra ticket.Copy !req
62. Well, that's okay.Copy !req
63. Maybe I'll ask Jimmy to go.Copy !req
64. Who's Jimmy?Copy !req
65. Jimmy Westcott.Copy !req
66. He plays football.Copy !req
67. Bye.Copy !req
68. Oh, yeah. Life's fair.Copy !req
69. Did you call that girl?Copy !req
70. Yes, I called her.Copy !req
71. I called her and told herCopy !req
72. I couldn't go to the concert.Copy !req
73. And now she's probably goingCopy !req
74. to invite someone else.Copy !req
75. Well, Malcolm, I'm sorryCopy !req
76. that my mother's sister—Copy !req
77. the woman who took care of meCopy !req
78. every day after school—Copy !req
79. had to die and inconvenienceCopy !req
80. your social life.Copy !req
81. She does it on purpose.Copy !req
82. I could have made up a millionCopy !req
83. different escape plans,Copy !req
84. but now my brainCopy !req
85. is filled with mom guilt.Copy !req
86. Who's this?Copy !req
87. How should I know?Copy !req
88. Hal?Copy !req
89. Beats me.Copy !req
90. Dewey?Copy !req
91. Is this a friend of yours?Copy !req
92. Uh-huh.Copy !req
93. Who is he?Copy !req
94. I don't know.Copy !req
95. What's your name, son?Copy !req
96. (quietly):Copy !req
97. Egg.Copy !req
98. Did he say Greg?Copy !req
99. I thought he said Craig.Copy !req
100. His name is Egg.Copy !req
101. "Egg"?Copy !req
102. I named him.Copy !req
103. Well, you can't keep him.Copy !req
104. He needs to go home, okay?Copy !req
105. Okay.Copy !req
106. This stinks.Copy !req
107. Whether it's a wedding,Copy !req
108. a funeral or court date,Copy !req
109. these family gatheringsCopy !req
110. are always the same.Copy !req
111. Ooh! I just can't takeCopy !req
112. my hands off that face!Copy !req
113. I can't wait till I get zits.Copy !req
114. At least then I can fight back.Copy !req
115. Hal, you have to get ready.Copy !req
116. Why are you still messing aroundCopy !req
117. with those record albums?Copy !req
118. Well, I thought I was gonnaCopy !req
119. spend today in the garageCopy !req
120. listening to themCopy !req
121. on my quadraphonic.Copy !req
122. But now that we're goingCopy !req
123. to the funeral,Copy !req
124. I have to resealCopy !req
125. the shrink wrap.Copy !req
126. Hal!Copy !req
127. I'll hurry, okay?Copy !req
128. I have to getCopy !req
129. my speech ready anyway.Copy !req
130. Honey, you knowCopy !req
131. you don't have to talkCopy !req
132. at every funeral we go to.Copy !req
133. Whew, I wish that were true.Copy !req
134. You see how people look to meCopy !req
135. when they ask if somebody hasCopy !req
136. a few words to say?Copy !req
137. They're not looking to you,Copy !req
138. they're looking at you.Copy !req
139. To, at... what'sCopy !req
140. the difference?Copy !req
141. Hello.Copy !req
142. Hey, Mom, I'm just warning you,Copy !req
143. someone claiming to be theCopy !req
144. commandant might call you soon.Copy !req
145. It's just this guyCopy !req
146. down the hall.Copy !req
147. Just play along and pretendCopy !req
148. you believe him.Copy !req
149. He's totally harmless.Copy !req
150. Francis, I really can'tCopy !req
151. talk to you right now.Copy !req
152. We're on our wayCopy !req
153. to Aunt Helen's funeral.Copy !req
154. Aunt Helen died?Copy !req
155. Well, I sure hope so.Copy !req
156. We're going to her funeral.Copy !req
157. Well, when did she die?Copy !req
158. Mom, why didn'tCopy !req
159. anybody tell me?Copy !req
160. Uh, well, honey, we just,Copy !req
161. we didn't want to haveCopy !req
162. to worry you over nothing.Copy !req
163. Nothing? She's dead!Copy !req
164. How's Uncle Fred taking it?Copy !req
165. Well, I don't think he's thoughtCopy !req
166. too much about it.Copy !req
167. He died about two months ago.Copy !req
168. What?Copy !req
169. Francis, I'm sorry.Copy !req
170. I really have to go. Here.Copy !req
171. Talk to your brother.Copy !req
172. Mom?Copy !req
173. Hello?Copy !req
174. All right, let's see it.Copy !req
175. I can't breathe.Copy !req
176. Fine.Copy !req
177. You know the drill.Copy !req
178. Upgrade.Copy !req
179. See?Copy !req
180. Problem solved.Copy !req
181. Hello?Copy !req
182. Oh.Copy !req
183. Okay, well, you can wearCopy !req
184. one of the suits thatCopy !req
185. Uncle Fred left you.Copy !req
186. Aw, Mom, a dead suit?Copy !req
187. Cool. A dead suit.Copy !req
188. Dewey, why don't you helpCopy !req
189. your little friendCopy !req
190. find his way out?Copy !req
191. I did.Copy !req
192. He keeps coming back.Copy !req
193. This thing'sCopy !req
194. an open casket, right?Copy !req
195. I think so. Why?Copy !req
196. Because I'm going to stashCopy !req
197. this with Aunt Helen.Copy !req
198. What is that?Copy !req
199. It's a Mighty Man.Copy !req
200. Mom and Dad had itCopy !req
201. in the back of their closetCopy !req
202. for some reason.Copy !req
203. I'm Mighty Man.Copy !req
204. It's Dewey'sCopy !req
205. birthday next week.Copy !req
206. This is his present.Copy !req
207. Oh.Copy !req
208. What'd you do to it?Copy !req
209. I stomped on it.Copy !req
210. Why would you do that?Copy !req
211. Look, I don't know whyCopy !req
212. I do the things I do.Copy !req
213. I just know I don'tCopy !req
214. want to get caught.Copy !req
215. That's why Aunt HelenCopy !req
216. is getting a new friend.Copy !req
217. You're gonna buryCopy !req
218. that with her?Copy !req
219. You are so dead.Copy !req
220. Hey, I watch lawyer shows.Copy !req
221. Mom will think I did it,Copy !req
222. but she can't prove itCopy !req
223. without this.Copy !req
224. It's in the Constitution—Copy !req
225. no evidence, no conviction.Copy !req
226. E pluribus unum.Copy !req
227. (chuckling):Copy !req
228. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
229. Hi, honey.Copy !req
230. Hey, you know,Copy !req
231. I finally found my joke cards.Copy !req
232. For some reason, they wereCopy !req
233. behind the water heater.Copy !req
234. Really?Copy !req
235. Hey, how's this?Copy !req
236. "A priest, a rabbiCopy !req
237. and Uncle Fred are..."Copy !req
238. Oh, well, Aunt Helen.Copy !req
239. "... are playing golfCopy !req
240. with Saint Peter."Copy !req
241. Hal, please!Copy !req
242. Hey, have you seenCopy !req
243. my pun file?Copy !req
244. It's in a box markedCopy !req
245. "laughter thoughts."Copy !req
246. Laughter thoughts?Copy !req
247. How did she die?Copy !req
248. Cats ate her face.Copy !req
249. Dewey, I think you're confused.Copy !req
250. I'm asking about Aunt Helen.Copy !req
251. Cats ate her face.Copy !req
252. Look, would you justCopy !req
253. put Mom or Dad on the phone?Copy !req
254. Hello.Copy !req
255. Dad!Copy !req
256. What happened to Aunt Helen?Copy !req
257. Cats ate her face.Copy !req
258. Well, here, Dewey knowsCopy !req
259. more about it than I do.Copy !req
260. Mom, I hate wearingCopy !req
261. Reese's hand-me-downs.Copy !req
262. Look at this.Copy !req
263. Jelly in the pockets,Copy !req
264. the fly's broken,Copy !req
265. and it smells like wet dog.Copy !req
266. Well, you should be gladCopy !req
267. he only wore it once.Copy !req
268. You know, I'm tryingCopy !req
269. to be there for Mom.Copy !req
270. But the annoyances are startingCopy !req
271. to outweigh the guilt.Copy !req
272. I'm this close to sneakingCopy !req
273. out of the whole thing.Copy !req
274. Well, I suppose you'reCopy !req
275. entitled to complain.Copy !req
276. After all, it'sCopy !req
277. only my Aunt Helen.Copy !req
278. What is she— a mind reader?Copy !req
279. And then there wereCopy !req
280. ants on her bones.Copy !req
281. And the police came.Copy !req
282. Dad, listen...Copy !req
283. Hey, can you think of anythingCopy !req
284. that rhymes with cadaver?Copy !req
285. Dad?Copy !req
286. How long is thisCopy !req
287. funeral gonna take?Copy !req
288. Including traveling time?Copy !req
289. All day.Copy !req
290. I know, I know.Copy !req
291. But remember,Copy !req
292. it'll make your mom happy.Copy !req
293. Mom really lovedCopy !req
294. Aunt Helen, huh?Copy !req
295. Oh, God, no.Copy !req
296. Your mom hated her.Copy !req
297. What? She "hated her"?Copy !req
298. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
299. Everyone did.Copy !req
300. Horrible woman.Copy !req
301. I used to have to forbid herCopy !req
302. from calling hereCopy !req
303. 'cause she alwaysCopy !req
304. made your mom cry.Copy !req
305. I can't believe MomCopy !req
306. tricked me like that.Copy !req
307. I'll tell you one thing—Copy !req
308. I now consider myselfCopy !req
309. totally freeCopy !req
310. to ditch this funeral.Copy !req
311. I got to call Julie.Copy !req
312. Hello?Copy !req
313. Malcolm!Copy !req
314. Oh, thank God!Copy !req
315. Somebody I can talk to.Copy !req
316. Sorry, I have to make a call.Copy !req
317. No...Copy !req
318. So, your aunt's... not dead?Copy !req
319. No. It turned out to beCopy !req
320. one of those comasCopy !req
321. where they think you're deadCopy !req
322. and they put youCopy !req
323. on the embalmer's tableCopy !req
324. and you wake upCopy !req
325. at the last second.Copy !req
326. It was a close call.Copy !req
327. Uh, okay.Copy !req
328. I guess we'll pick you upCopy !req
329. at 2:00.Copy !req
330. Great.Copy !req
331. I figure I'll commit to it firstCopy !req
332. and come up with a plan later.Copy !req
333. I always think betterCopy !req
334. under pressure...Copy !req
335. or is it whenCopy !req
336. I'm not under pressure?Copy !req
337. Oh, well. Too late now.Copy !req
338. I'm ready to go.Copy !req
339. Yeah. Hey!Copy !req
340. You're taking a backpackCopy !req
341. to the funeral?Copy !req
342. My back gets cold.Copy !req
343. Fair enough.Copy !req
344. Look, Francis,Copy !req
345. I guess I get scattered.Copy !req
346. You know, sometimes I forgetCopy !req
347. what I told you, and you'reCopy !req
348. not here, so I don't...Copy !req
349. I'm not thereCopy !req
350. because you sent me away.Copy !req
351. I swear, I'm not evenCopy !req
352. a part of this family anymore.Copy !req
353. Francis, it's very importantCopy !req
354. that you understandCopy !req
355. that is not true.Copy !req
356. But I don't have time right now.Copy !req
357. I understand.Copy !req
358. It's not like it's a matterCopy !req
359. of life and death.Copy !req
360. Oh, wait, it is!Copy !req
361. Anyone else die in the lastCopy !req
362. five minutesCopy !req
363. I should know about?Copy !req
364. Francis, you wantCopy !req
365. to know everythingCopy !req
366. that's been happening?Copy !req
367. Your father mowed the lawn,Copy !req
368. Reese polished offCopy !req
369. all the cereal,Copy !req
370. and I dropped a frying panCopy !req
371. on my footCopy !req
372. and I got a big black toe.Copy !req
373. You want me to send a picture?Copy !req
374. Egg! Cut it out!Copy !req
375. Who is Egg?Copy !req
376. Oh, he's a new boy in the house.Copy !req
377. What?Copy !req
378. Okay.Copy !req
379. It'll only hurt for a secondCopy !req
380. and I'll get out of the funeral.Copy !req
381. I can tell JulieCopy !req
382. a really cool storyCopy !req
383. about how I got my black eye.Copy !req
384. Aw, I'm so gutless!Copy !req
385. Why are you taking so long?Copy !req
386. Let's go.Copy !req
387. Reese, listen.Copy !req
388. I know it sounds crazy,Copy !req
389. but I need you to hit me.Copy !req
390. You idiot!Copy !req
391. In the eye!Copy !req
392. And leave a markCopy !req
393. for Mom to see?Copy !req
394. Forget it.Copy !req
395. No bruises, no evidence...Copy !req
396. no crime.Copy !req
397. I guess we move onCopy !req
398. to plan B— lying.Copy !req
399. What book report?Copy !req
400. I just remembered.Copy !req
401. I have a big book reportCopy !req
402. due tomorrow.Copy !req
403. And I haven't evenCopy !req
404. started reading it.Copy !req
405. Standard technique—Copy !req
406. you volunteer a small crimeCopy !req
407. to distract themCopy !req
408. from looking for the big one.Copy !req
409. So, what's the report on?Copy !req
410. A Tale of Two Cities.Copy !req
411. Oh, how many words?Copy !req
412. 750.Copy !req
413. Was that on yourCopy !req
414. assignment sheet?Copy !req
415. No, it's an addendum.Copy !req
416. When did you get that?Copy !req
417. Thursday.Copy !req
418. I didn't bring it home.Copy !req
419. That's why I forgotCopy !req
420. to do the assignment.Copy !req
421. Ooh, nice one.Copy !req
422. Well, I supposeCopy !req
423. if it's schoolwork.Copy !req
424. That's the mislead.Copy !req
425. Wait for the reverse.Copy !req
426. A Tale of Two Cities.Copy !req
427. Who's that by?Copy !req
428. Charles Dickens.Copy !req
429. Oh, I thought it wasCopy !req
430. Victor Hugo.Copy !req
431. No, it's Dickens.Copy !req
432. Is that the oneCopy !req
433. with Jean Valjean?Copy !req
434. That's Les Miserables.Copy !req
435. No, no.Copy !req
436. Uh, isn't A Tale of Two CitiesCopy !req
437. the one with Jean Valjean,Copy !req
438. where he's says, "It's a far,Copy !req
439. far better thing I do..."Copy !req
440. right before he stealsCopy !req
441. a loaf of bread?Copy !req
442. No. Sidney Carton says thatCopy !req
443. right before they behead him.Copy !req
444. I thought you hadn't read it.Copy !req
445. What? No. I saidCopy !req
446. I hadn't written it.Copy !req
447. And when is it due?Copy !req
448. Tomorrow, I told you.Copy !req
449. On Les Miserables?Copy !req
450. Yes. No!Copy !req
451. It's on Tale of Two Cities.Copy !req
452. Which you haven't read yet.Copy !req
453. Right.Copy !req
454. But you just said you did.Copy !req
455. No, I-I said I didn't,Copy !req
456. and then you said...Copy !req
457. It was Thursday, and...Copy !req
458. Look, I just don't want to goCopy !req
459. to this stupid funeral!Copy !req
460. There's no reason for meCopy !req
461. to go, and I want to goCopy !req
462. to the concert with Julie!Copy !req
463. Let's go, let's go.Copy !req
464. I'll be waiting in the car.Copy !req
465. Malcolm?Copy !req
466. I am ashamed of you.Copy !req
467. Wanting to deny yourCopy !req
468. poor Aunt Helen her due.Copy !req
469. No, that won't work on me,Copy !req
470. because I knowCopy !req
471. you didn't love Aunt Helen.Copy !req
472. You hated her!Copy !req
473. Of course I hated her. What doesCopy !req
474. that have to do with anything?Copy !req
475. What?Copy !req
476. Malcolm, this isn't about love.Copy !req
477. It's about family.Copy !req
478. We have a duty to this family.Copy !req
479. And we are darn wellCopy !req
480. gonna do it!Copy !req
481. But why? It's not fair!Copy !req
482. You can't just stick the wordCopy !req
483. "family" in front of somethingCopy !req
484. and turn everyoneCopy !req
485. else into slaves.Copy !req
486. It makes no sense.Copy !req
487. No one liked this woman.Copy !req
488. So why do we have toCopy !req
489. pretend like we did now?Copy !req
490. What good will it do anybody?Copy !req
491. Hal?Copy !req
492. I got nothing.Copy !req
493. I could really useCopy !req
494. some support here.Copy !req
495. Excuse me?Copy !req
496. I am beingCopy !req
497. incredibly supportive.Copy !req
498. I'm giving up my entire dayCopy !req
499. for this-this thing.Copy !req
500. And you don't hear meCopy !req
501. complaining.Copy !req
502. Hal, it was a bunchCopy !req
503. of old record albums.Copy !req
504. It's not like you're not givingCopy !req
505. up something important.Copy !req
506. Well, they're important to me.Copy !req
507. You-you people!Copy !req
508. I can't believe you.Copy !req
509. I asked you to doCopy !req
510. one thing that...Copy !req
511. You're not asking;Copy !req
512. you're ordering.Copy !req
513. After all I do for this family.Copy !req
514. I cook, I clean,Copy !req
515. I spackle, I plunge.Copy !req
516. And none of it means anythingCopy !req
517. to any of you people!Copy !req
518. And the one timeCopy !req
519. I ask you for something—Copy !req
520. something that I shouldn't evenCopy !req
521. have to ask you for—Copy !req
522. and all I get are complaints!Copy !req
523. Well, what about me, hmm?Copy !req
524. You think I want to beCopy !req
525. cleaning out the guttersCopy !req
526. when I could beCopy !req
527. surfing the beaches of EuropeCopy !req
528. or-or cruising around on my hog?Copy !req
529. What hog?Copy !req
530. Aha!Copy !req
531. Exactly! Where's my hog?Copy !req
532. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
533. I have had it!Copy !req
534. From now on,Copy !req
535. no one has to do anything.Copy !req
536. We can all just doCopy !req
537. whatever we want!Copy !req
538. And I want to takeCopy !req
539. a bubble bath!Copy !req
540. Fine!Copy !req
541. So, that's a "yes"Copy !req
542. on the concert?Copy !req
543. Come on, come on.Copy !req
544. Are you gonna beCopy !req
545. in there all day?Copy !req
546. If I feel like it.Copy !req
547. Fine. Just so you know,Copy !req
548. when I'm done in the garage,Copy !req
549. I'm using the bathroomCopy !req
550. whether you're in here or not.Copy !req
551. Mom?Copy !req
552. I think we should goCopy !req
553. to Aunt Helen's funeral.Copy !req
554. I mean,Copy !req
555. she was a good woman.Copy !req
556. It's the least we can do.Copy !req
557. I don't knowCopy !req
558. what you're trying to pull,Copy !req
559. Reese, but I don't like it.Copy !req
560. Am I the only oneCopy !req
561. that cared about her?Copy !req
562. Yes, you're the good one.Copy !req
563. Enjoy your moment in the sun.Copy !req
564. Now, get out of here.Copy !req
565. This is me time.Copy !req
566. Hey, Reese,Copy !req
567. which one stinks more?Copy !req
568. What's your problem?Copy !req
569. You couldn't keep your big mouthCopy !req
570. shut until after the funeral.Copy !req
571. Now I'll have to waitCopy !req
572. for another relativeCopy !req
573. to die to bury this thing.Copy !req
574. It could be weeks!Copy !req
575. You'll think of something.Copy !req
576. No, I won't.Copy !req
577. You have good ideasCopy !req
578. all the time.Copy !req
579. But for me, this was special.Copy !req
580. Hey! You can't leaveCopy !req
581. this mess here.Copy !req
582. I've got a guest coming over.Copy !req
583. Too bad.Copy !req
584. Thanks to you,Copy !req
585. no one has to doCopy !req
586. anything anymore.Copy !req
587. It's anarchy, baby.Copy !req
588. That's the word, right?Copy !req
589. Um... Mom?Copy !req
590. I was just wonderingCopy !req
591. if you could washCopy !req
592. this shirt for me?Copy !req
593. You must be joking.Copy !req
594. But you're the only oneCopy !req
595. that knows how to useCopy !req
596. the washer and dryerCopy !req
597. without getting shocked.Copy !req
598. Please?Copy !req
599. Well... since you said please.Copy !req
600. Here you go.Copy !req
601. All washed.Copy !req
602. I think you've beenCopy !req
603. in the garage long enough.Copy !req
604. Okay.Copy !req
605. Gosh!Copy !req
606. Well, no, no, no.Copy !req
607. You are gonna getCopy !req
608. your own outlet.Copy !req
609. Uh... okay, here we go.Copy !req
610. Okay... okay, here we are.Copy !req
611. Come on.Copy !req
612. Come on. God.Copy !req
613. Gotcha!Copy !req
614. Oh.Copy !req
615. No, not my problem today.Copy !req
616. Hand me that loofah.Copy !req
617. He wants juice.Copy !req
618. Go get your own juice.Copy !req
619. You said I'm not supposed to.Copy !req
620. (sighing):Copy !req
621. You're right.Copy !req
622. Okay, from now on,Copy !req
623. you are officially old enoughCopy !req
624. to get your own juice.Copy !req
625. Poof.Copy !req
626. Darn it.Copy !req
627. Darn it.Copy !req
628. Darn it.Copy !req
629. Mom!Copy !req
630. I spilled!Copy !req
631. So? Clean it up!Copy !req
632. Green apple soap.Copy !req
633. Girls like green apples, right?Copy !req
634. Oh, man,Copy !req
635. she got my pants wet, too!Copy !req
636. Hello?Copy !req
637. Is Malcolm here?Copy !req
638. Is Malcolm here?Copy !req
639. Huh?Copy !req
640. Malcolm!Copy !req
641. Malcolm?Copy !req
642. Julie!Copy !req
643. Nothing.Copy !req
644. Oh, my God!Copy !req
645. Are you okay?Copy !req
646. I just wanted to be nice!Copy !req
647. People told me notCopy !req
648. to come to your house!Copy !req
649. But I thought theyCopy !req
650. were just being silly!Copy !req
651. Julie, I'm sorry!Copy !req
652. Things aren'tCopy !req
653. usually like this.Copy !req
654. Just give me a minuteCopy !req
655. and I'll be ready to go.Copy !req
656. I don't want to go anymore!Copy !req
657. Just leave me alone!Copy !req
658. How could you let her see meCopy !req
659. in my underwear?Copy !req
660. Mom, this has gone too far!Copy !req
661. You have to do something!Copy !req
662. It's not supposedCopy !req
663. to be like this.Copy !req
664. We're not supposedCopy !req
665. to injure my friends.Copy !req
666. We're not supposed to let peopleCopy !req
667. see me in my underpants!Copy !req
668. We're supposed to be thereCopy !req
669. for each other.Copy !req
670. Like when a family member dies,Copy !req
671. and we're supposed to goCopy !req
672. to their funeral?Copy !req
673. I'll be in my room.Copy !req
674. Then she slid into the trashCopy !req
675. and ran off.Copy !req
676. I swear, this whole familyCopy !req
677. is falling apart.Copy !req
678. Oh, yes! I knewCopy !req
679. this moment would come.Copy !req
680. They don't haveCopy !req
681. their scapegoat around,Copy !req
682. so everything goes to hell.Copy !req
683. No one realized that I'm the oneCopy !req
684. who held this family together.Copy !req
685. Without meCopy !req
686. to blame everything on,Copy !req
687. they don't know what to doCopy !req
688. with themselves.Copy !req
689. A scapegoat... thanks.Copy !req
690. Mom thinks...Copy !req
691. He's right.Copy !req
692. This family needs a scapegoat.Copy !req
693. I started this, so I should beCopy !req
694. the one to end it.Copy !req
695. I did a terrible thing today.Copy !req
696. I tore this family apart.Copy !req
697. And I'm really sorry for that.Copy !req
698. But...Copy !req
699. it's not half as bad...Copy !req
700. as what Reese did!Copy !req
701. Oh, my God!Copy !req
702. (distorted): I'm Mighty Man.Copy !req
703. Was this Dewey's present?Copy !req
704. Present?Copy !req
705. Reese, how could you?Copy !req
706. Do you know howCopy !req
707. expensive this was?Copy !req
708. Hal?Copy !req
709. I'm on it.Copy !req
710. That was a terrible thing to doCopy !req
711. to your little brother.Copy !req
712. There's more!Copy !req
713. He was gonna bury itCopy !req
714. with Aunt Helen!Copy !req
715. You were going to makeCopy !req
716. Aunt Helen spend eternityCopy !req
717. with a crushed Mighty Man?Copy !req
718. A Mighty Man?Copy !req
719. I can't believe you!Copy !req
720. This is a wholeCopy !req
721. new low, Reese.Copy !req
722. First of all,Copy !req
723. this is all circumstantial.Copy !req
724. I don't know how that thingCopy !req
725. got in my backpack.Copy !req
726. As for this Aunt HelenCopy !req
727. business, no one knowsCopy !req
728. what I would've done at thatCopy !req
729. funeral because we're not going.Copy !req
730. Who says we're not going?Copy !req
731. You did.Copy !req
732. Well, you can guess again.Copy !req
733. You are gonna marchCopy !req
734. right up to that coffin,Copy !req
735. and apologizeCopy !req
736. to that poor, dead woman.Copy !req
737. We all are.Copy !req
738. All right,Copy !req
739. everyone in the car as is.Copy !req
740. We'll have to drive creatively,Copy !req
741. but we might make the end.Copy !req
742. Let's go. Chop, chop!Copy !req
743. Here we go!Copy !req
744. Egg! (whistles)Copy !req
745. Come on!Copy !req
746. Aunt Helen used to say...Copy !req
747. (raspy-Copy !req
748. "Oh, you're gonnaCopy !req
749. miss me when I'm gone."Copy !req
750. And, uh, by the looksCopy !req
751. of today's turnout,Copy !req
752. I can see it wasn'tCopy !req
753. just an idle threat.Copy !req
754. (whispering):Copy !req
755. Yeah, Francis,Copy !req
756. your father's giving a speech.Copy !req
757. And it's actuallyCopy !req
758. kind of good.Copy !req
759. Can I get my phone back?Copy !req
760. I'm almost done, sweetie.Copy !req
761. Oh, Aunt HelenCopy !req
762. looks just lovely.Copy !req
763. You turn right back around,Copy !req
764. mister!Copy !req
765. (whispering):Copy !req
766. You'll never guessCopy !req
767. what Reese did.Copy !req
768. Well, it's beenCopy !req
769. a pretty productive day.Copy !req
770. I made Julie Rulerman hate me.Copy !req
771. Reese is gonna kill meCopy !req
772. the second we get home.Copy !req
773. And right now,Copy !req
774. Aunt Helen is personallyCopy !req
775. bad-mouthing me to God.Copy !req
776. You want some more water,Copy !req
777. Uncle Louie?Copy !req
778. Sure.Copy !req
779. I need someone to put inCopy !req
780. a good word for me.Copy !req