Maid 1x9

1. Alex?

2. You in there?

3. It's Regina.

4. Hello?

5. Do you not hear the knocking?

6. Hello?

7. Yeah.

8. - Can I help you? Is Alex here?

9. Who's asking? Regina.

10. She cleans my house sometimes on Fisher Island.

11. She hasn't shown up in four weeks.

12. How'd you get this address? - Value Maids.

13. Is she home?

14. Nope. She's not here.

15. Do you know when she's due back? - I don't.

16. Well, she, um, left her notebook at my house.

17. And I was hoping to return it to her.

18. Give it to me. I'll give it to her.

19. Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't wanna overstep,

20. but I was hoping to return it to her.

21. In person.

22. Check if she's okay.

23. She's fine.

24. She's on the other side of this door shaking her head "no" at me.

25. She doesn't wanna see you.

26. Alex? Hey, no— - Thank you for coming by.

27. Can I have it?

28. I don't like you giving this address out.

29. Can I have the notebook?

30. You think I'll steal it?

31. Sean, can I please have my notebook?

32. It's right there, crazy.

33. Hey, why is Maddy still in her pajamas?

34. We're about to get dressed.

35. It's 4:00. It's fucking embarrassing.

36. Someone's at the door and she's not dressed?

37. It looks like trash lives here.

38. She's a kid, Alex. She should be dressed at dinnertime.

39. You're right.

40. I'm gonna do bathtime right now.

41. This is really pretty.

42. Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

43. - Wanna go check on Candy and Sandy? - Yes.

44. So remind me...

45. this is Candy and this is Sandy, right?

46. No, that's Sandy and that's Candy.

47. Sandy and Candy.

48. That one is Sandy and that one is Candy.

49. So they're both named Candy?

50. - No. - This is Sandy?

51. No, that is Candy.

52. - You think they've grown since yesterday? - Mm-hm.

53. Well, I guess we should go do bathtime.

54. I guess we definitely shouldn't...

55. jump in these puddles.

56. Well, you can call me crazy,

57. but I still say the Hawks win the division this year with or without him.

58. Okay, you're crazy.

59. All right, gang, chow time.

60. Come on, honeybee. Grandpa will get you in your chair.

61. There we go. Oh!

62. Sean, grab me another O'Doul's, will you?

63. Got it. Alex, what are you drinking? Pop?

64. Alex?

65. Alex, what do you wanna drink?

66. I'm good, thank you.

67. - What a feast. - Well, Shari gets all the credit.

68. I'm just the delivery boy.

69. She sends her love to everybody. She's busy with the twins today.

70. Well, it smells delicious. Thank you.

71. - Mind if we say grace? - Hey, where you going?

72. - I'm not hungry. Hey,

73. your dad just brought over a home-cooked meal.

74. I just don't feel good, so I'm gonna lie down for a bit.

75. We're about to eat.

76. It's okay. We'll save her a plate, there's plenty.

77. Hey... you're being fucking rude.

78. I don't wanna eat, Sean.

79. Sit down.

80. - I don't wanna— - Sit... down.

81. Sorry about that.

82. Where were we?

83. You were saying grace?

84. Yeah.

85. Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive

86. from thy bounty

87. - through Christ, our Lord. Amen. Amen.

88. Let's dig in.

89. You want one of these? Yeah.

90. Oh, it's the good stuff.

91. - Do you have a kid? Shh. Yeah.

92. Yeah, she's asleep, though. That's why we have to be quiet.

93. Okay, I'm sorry, I won't touch it.

94. They're very nice, Mads.

95. Why are you home so early?

96. I got fired.

97. What?

98. Fucked up the count when I closed on Thursday.

99. Again?

100. Can you not?

101. I'd like to see you count out hundreds of dollars at 4:30 in the fucking morning.

102. Okay. Call Phil and explain. He loves you.

103. Yeah, it was Phil that fired me.

104. Fucker said I was drunk behind the bar.

105. - Were you? - No, Alex.

106. I buy back shots from my regulars.

107. That's how fucking bartending works. It's how you make money.

108. You know, this is when you're supposed to make me feel better.

109. Say that everything's gonna be fine.

110. I don't know that everything is gonna be fine.

111. Or you could do that. Make me feel fucking worse. Thanks.

112. I'm not trying to make you feel anything. I am just having a reaction to this news.

113. We'll be flush when the carpentry pans out.

114. We need food for our daughter.

115. Maybe you didn't hear me, Alex. I just lost my fucking job.

116. You could've brought food home instead of a six-pack.

117. Jesus fucking Christ!

118. Maddy?

119. Maddy?

120. Hey, Maddy?

121. Maddy...

122. Maddy?

123. Hey, Maddy?

124. Maddy?

125. Maddy?

126. Maddy?

127. Maddy?

128. Alex? It's okay, baby.

129. Honey, honey, honey.

130. I'm okay.

131. Mommy's okay.

132. You're okay. Mommy's okay, okay?

133. I'm so sorry.

134. We're gonna get out of here, okay?

135. Is there any way I could borrow your phone?

136. Thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't have anybody else to call.

137. Of course.

138. Will you be okay to drop us off at 351 Hurley Avenue?

139. Would you rather go to my house?

140. The guest room is all made up.

141. I need to go to that address, if that's okay.

142. Hey. Do you need me to go in with you?

143. Oh. You actually can't. Thank you.

144. Hi. Come here.

145. Same painting.

146. Oh, they're in all of the apartments, baby girl.

147. Okay.

148. We'll talk in the morning, do your intake then.

149. Only thing I need to know now is are you injured

150. or in need of any medical attention?

151. - Is Maddy? - No.

152. May I have your cell phone, please?

153. I don't have one.

154. I don't, um— I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't bring anything.

155. I don't have any money or any of Maddy's stuff. I don't have anything.

156. - I'll bring you guys some pajamas. - Thank you so much.

157. I don't know if I'm supposed to use real names.

158. That's entirely up to you.

159. My real name is Alex.

160. My real name is Danielle.

161. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.

162. The fairy is back.

163. Come on, Mommy.

164. The breakfast fairy came again.

165. Thank you, food fairy.

166. - I know what this is. What is it?

167. Syrup.

168. What's the food fairy's name, Mommy?

169. Food Fairy?

170. Well...

171. Hello.

172. - How are you feeling? - How long was I in there?

173. A few days.

174. Do I need to notify anybody that I'm here? Legally?

175. The law gives you 21 days to notify him when you're in an emergency shelter.

176. Miss Maddy. How are you doing today, sugar plum?

177. There's a play group for kids your age in a few minutes.

178. Is that something you'd like to do?

179. Do you wanna go play with some kids, Mad?

180. Today is arts and crafts.

181. You and I can do some intake and then I'll take you shopping.

182. You'll take me shopping?

183. You had stuff with you the last time, so you probably didn't see this, did you?

184. No. I haven't been back here.

185. Well, some women, when they get here, only have the clothes on their backs,

186. so we started this.

187. This is the boutique,

188. all second-hand or donated, very gently used.

189. There's a kids section in the corner too.

190. This is Brandi, a fellow resident.

191. She can help you if you have any questions.

192. - I don't have any money. - Oh, it's all free.

193. The tags are blank, just for decoration.

194. No prices.

195. The boutique isn't open to the public.

196. It's just for our residents to come in and pick out what they like,

197. to have that sense of self again.

198. All right?

199. Have fun.

200. Hey. I'm here if you need me.

201. What size are you? We've got more stuff in the back for spring.

202. I'm actually gonna come back later. Thank you, though.

203. But you didn't get anything.

204. I'm not really sure what—

205. Stay there. We won't overthink it.

206. Just gonna pull you some basics, okay?

207. Some pants, some tees,

208. a few pairs of socks, a couple of sweaters.

209. - What size is your kid? - Four-T or five-T.

210. We got some good shit for her too.

211. She like unicorns?

212. Yeah.

213. Everybody gets overwhelmed the first time they come in here.

214. It's because our circuits are completely fried by what we've been through.

215. When I first got here, it took me weeks to remember my favorite color.

216. Why is there a cash register if everything's free?

217. So it feels normal.

218. It doesn't feel normal.

219. Well, I'm the one putting pretend purchases

220. into pretend shopping bags right now.

221. Now you use the salt to draw a picture or design on the paper.

222. We have a refurbished phone for you, just came in.

223. Wiped clean. It's all yours.

224. Of course, you'll have to go outside to use it once we get service for you.

225. The FCC has a lifeline program

226. for discounted phone service for people in emergency shelter.

227. But, like all things run by the government, there is a lot of red tape.

228. You start by typing in your social.

229. Um...

230. Do you not know your social?

231. I'm just not sure that I'm ready because...

232. I know he's waiting for me in my inbox, so...

233. Well, we won't do e-mail, then.

234. Today is just about getting your phone on.

235. And, um...

236. this number is not gonna be listed anywhere? You can't look it up?

237. Nobody has this number but you.

238. Please leave a message after the tone.

239. Hey, Mom. This is Alex. I—

240. I haven't had a phone for a minute,

241. so I'm not sure if you've been trying to reach me or anything,

242. but this is my new phone number.

243. Please don't share it with anybody.

244. I'm just calling to see how you are,

245. and... that's it, so...

246. I love you. Okay.

247. Just get whatever's organic.

248. Regina?

249. - Who's this? - Sorry, this is Alex.

250. It's Alex, your maid.

251. Oh, Alex. I am sorry. I thought you were the guy doing my Instacart substitutions.

252. He keeps calling me.

253. - Hi. - Hi.

254. - How you doing? - I'm good.

255. I'm sorry.

256. You said I could call you any time. Did you mean that?

257. - Have you been here before? - No.

258. - Thank you. Still or sparkling?

259. - Sparkling for me. Does that work for you? - Yes.

260. And a super-hot flat white, right off the bat.

261. Of course. The chef has one addition to the menu today,

262. a pan-fried fillet of barramundi with an asparagus and sunchoke gremolata.

263. Thank you.

264. This is my treat, so please get whatever you want. Be my guest.

265. I should be buying you lunch, after everything that you've done for me.

266. Yeah, well, I invited you to lunch, so...

267. - You look well. - Thank you.

268. I... It's my first time leaving the shelter in 16 days.

269. It was a shelter, where you dropped me off.

270. So how does it feel to be out?

271. Weird.

272. You wanna get out of here?

273. Yes, please.

274. So I read your notebook that you left in my office.

275. I wondered about that.

276. Well, at first, I thought maybe you left it for me, sort of a handwritten present.

277. But somewhere around Pubes House,

278. I realized you must have left it by accident,

279. and I was invading your privacy.

280. But then I couldn't put it down.

281. You're really good.

282. Thank you.

283. Who's the Porn House? 'Cause I gotta get eyes on that couple.

284. Aww...

285. I'll never tell.

286. I'm the Cunt House.

287. Um...

288. - I didn't know you yet. It's okay.

289. You passed out from hunger in my house, and I stiffed you,

290. failed to recognize you in public...

291. My house was aptly named.

292. Yeah, I stole your dog,

293. and I drank all your good wine, and I went into your hot tub

294. and I had a guy from Tinder over.

295. Really?

296. Yeah, but nothing happened 'cause you came home early and ruined everything.

297. Why was your notebook in my office?

298. I was using your computer to apply for college while you were napping.

299. Which college?

300. Montana College of Fine Arts.

301. - I got in, actually. I got a scholarship. - Great. When do you leave?

302. - Uh, I'm not going. - Why not?

303. I, um... I didn't respond or do any of that stuff.

304. Yeah, well, that's an easy fix. Do you wanna go?

305. Yes, but it's too expensive, even with a scholarship, so...

306. Take student loans. Everyone has student loans.

307. And Sean would never let me go, so...

308. No, no, wait. Why does he get a vote?

309. I read the notebook. He doesn't get a vote.

310. - We have shared custody. - Says who?

311. The court, laws...

312. You know I'm a lawyer, yeah?

313. Yeah, you're, like, a big business lawyer.

314. Corporate law. But I have a colleague in family law who's a fucking beast.

315. So you find out if you can still enroll.

316. I will text her and see if we can set a meeting.

317. I could never afford her, Regina.

318. Good, she would never take your money.

319. Why are you being nice to me?

320. Maybe I'm not a cunt.

321. Hi. I got into this college in March,

322. and I got a scholarship, but then, because of a family emergency,

323. I wasn't able to respond.

324. Is it too late for me to enroll? Great. What's the number?

325. Hi. I'm not sure if I need registration or the bursar's office. Can you help me?

326. How do I check on the status of an FAFSA form?

327. Hi. I need to request a FAFSA form, please.

328. How do I know if I have a PIN?

329. Everything okay?

330. Yeah. He hasn't e-mailed me at all.

331. Thank you.

332. - Hi. - Hi.

333. - I'm Alex, the cleaner. - Thank you for coming. I'm Penny.

334. You saw in my note, right, that I can only pay $10 an hour?

335. Yeah, that's fine.

336. I don't have any supplies, so I wouldn't expect anything else.

337. It's just that—

338. You might see the job and wanna ask for more money,

339. and I need you to understand that I can't pay more.

340. I can't afford this at all.

341. But I'm too pregnant to do it, so my sister lent me money.

342. Okay.

343. Can I come in?

344. This is my little secret.

345. I'm so sorry.

346. No. Don't be.

347. You can back out if you want.

348. No.

349. You're my first customer.

350. So there's no way I'm gonna back out.

351. Well, it's only up from here.

352. Do you wanna help her pack?

353. Hi.

354. I'm Alex.

355. That's Stu.

356. He's not verbal.

357. It's nice to meet you, Stu.

358. I have two more, but they're at school.

359. Benji and Samara.

360. I wanna do better than this for my kids. I do.

361. Hey. Of course you do.

362. It's okay.

363. You said in your e-mail that you're packing?

364. Yeah. We're moving on Saturday, to a smaller place.

365. That's why I need your help. I can't take all this.

366. No.

367. I know it looks like junk.

368. But it's my kids' childhoods. You can't just throw those years away.

369. You, uh...

370. You also need space for them to grow.

371. Let me help you.

372. Okay.

373. One more.

374. Whoa!

375. You have to stop. That's time.

376. I can't pay you for more hours.

377. - Don't worry about it. - No. That's not right.

378. Honestly, I'm weirdly in it now, so I got summit fever.

379. Hit it, Stu.

380. Thank you so much.

381. Thank you.

382. I'm a member of an online support group for hoarders.

383. We have a hard time keeping cleaning ladies.

384. - Maybe I could recommend you? - Yes. That would be great. Thank you.

385. Great. Thank you.

386. Hi.

387. Hi. I'm calling to inquire about family housing.

388. I'll be a full-time student, yes.

389. What's the deposit needed on that?

390. Is there a waiver on the deposit if that presents a financial hardship?

391. Great. Can you connect me to that office? Sliding scale?

392. I'm good for exactly zero.

393. That would be great, but I don't have a permanent address.

394. Could you e-mail it to me? Is there a way to expedite that?

395. Hi. I'm calling to digitally sign a promissory note for my student loan.

396. Can you help?

397. Yes. I have it right here. It's 45612.

398. Great. How soon would those funds disburse?

399. And if I did a summer semester, how soon?

400. Langley is my mother's maiden name. Housing begins June 7th. That's great.

401. How do I secure that? Call FAFSA? Okay. Can you e-mail that form to me?

402. Thank you.

403. Fuck. Jesus Christ, what's that smell?

404. The owner left a carton of milk in the back.

405. - How many miles are on it? - 195.

406. I'll give you 400.

407. Sold.

408. What do you think of our new car?

409. - Shall we name it? - Stinky Pot Pie.

410. Stinky Pot Pie?

411. What about Jade, 'cause of the color?

412. - Stinky Pot Pie. Stinky Pot Pie. - All right.

413. We're gonna name you Stinky Pot Pie. Yeah?

414. We might be missing one thing to make it our car. What do you think?

415. "Shoop"! "Shoop"!

416. So first of all, your ex cannot stop you from moving to Montana,

417. and he will not stop you.

418. Don't I have to get his permission?

419. You do not. You just inform him that you're leaving.

420. We'll draft up something called a notice of relocation and serve it to him.

421. Once he agrees, you amend your parenting plan. Then you're free.

422. Um, what happens if he doesn't agree?

423. Technically he has 30 days to object to the notice.

424. If he does, we have to go duke it out in court.

425. Okay.

426. Um, I don't exactly have 30 days,

427. because I'm supposed to move out of the shelter on the 6th,

428. and I was hoping to go straight to Montana

429. because that way, I wouldn't have to pay for an apartment here in between.

430. So I went ahead and enrolled in a summer session

431. and put a deposit down on housing and everything.

432. Do you anticipate Sean objecting to the notice?

433. Yes.

434. Okay. Well, if he objects,

435. we drop a legal A-bomb on him.

436. We slap him with a no-contact order. That's a restraining order.

437. And we move for you

438. to get immediate emergency custody of Maddy because he's an abuser.

439. This is a safety issue.

440. - I can do that? - Oh, yeah.

441. We can keep going.

442. We can file a police report, maybe even get a child-endangerment charge.

443. We can sue him for emotional distress and damages.

444. We can crush his soul. It just takes time.

445. The fastest way for you to get to Missoula for the summer

446. is for him to just sign the notice of relocation.

447. Okay.

448. Um...

449. Who serves him the notice?

450. Oh. Someone else. Don't worry. We have a service we use, third party.

451. Can I do it?

452. Uh...

453. I don't know if— I mean...

454. Is that wise?

455. I can do it in public or something. I just—

456. I, uh...

457. I wanna tell him.

458. I want him to see I'm not scared of him anymore.

459. Where are we?

460. - We're gonna look for somebody. - Who?

461. Mom.

462. Oh, my goodness. Maddy girl.

463. Oh, I've missed you.

464. Okay, let me see that ancestral spark in your eyes.

465. I see it. It's still there.

466. - Oh, my goodness. I love you. - Hey, Mom.

467. Hey.

468. I didn't think that you were in town.

469. I never left town.

470. - I just assumed that— - You assumed.

471. What did you assume about me, Alex?

472. I thought that after Basil signed you out, that you probably didn't stick around.

473. Well, you're wrong.

474. I used Basil to break me out of the jail that my daughter put me in,

475. and then I kicked him to the curb.

476. I got my car fixed. I got this new job.

477. And I could not be happier.

478. - What's going on over here? - Oh, babe...

479. - Break time? - No.

480. This is my daughter and her daughter.

481. - You're a grandmother? - No. My daughter has a daughter.

482. - Babe, customer. - Oh, yeah. Sorry, honey.

483. Just a sec. Hey there.

484. These lovelies are made by a famous local artist.

485. And they're just three for 50. They're absolutely divine.

486. Anyway, honey, I just wanna let you know,

487. I'm feeling very balanced. I'm really on my voice as an artist.

488. And I just can't talk right now

489. because we get a pop at the end of the day, we're busy.

490. Okay. Can I come back later?

491. Are you gonna make me say it, Alex?

492. I don't wanna talk to you.

493. Come on, Mom.

494. Can I just take you for a beer, please?

495. Fine. But we're going to Portland tonight.

496. Because Micah's got a booth there at the flea market in the morning.

497. Okay. What time are you back?

498. - Babe. Customer. - All right, hon.

499. I don't know. Some time in the afternoon.

500. - How's 6? - Sure. Why not?

501. Hey, pumpkin.

502. Paula. - Yeah, babe. Okay, babe.

503. - Come on. - I'm working. Gotta work. See you.

504. Hey, there. I like your goofy hat. That's just divine.

505. It's rock solid.

506. - Will that be fake cash or fake credit? - Fake cash.

507. That's a pretty blue.

508. It's sky blue. My favorite color.

509. Not cobalt. Not navy. Sky blue.

510. Hey.

511. Sorry I'm late.

512. - Do you wanna get a coffee before we talk? - No, I'm fine.

513. You look really nice.

514. It's not for you.

515. What's in the envelope?

516. I'm serving you.

517. Maddy and I are moving to Montana. I enrolled in college.

518. I got us family housing,

519. and there's a day-care program for full-time students.

520. It's really good for us. And we're leaving next week.

521. This is the notice of relocation. And here's a pen to sign it.

522. Where's Maddy right now?

523. - This isn't negotiable— - I wanna know where my daughter is.

524. You can't hold her hostage in a DV shelter again, Alex.

525. She's safe.

526. You are legally obligated to let me see my daughter.

527. Actually, I'm not.

528. This is good for me and it's good for Maddy.

529. - Sign the form and we can go. - No.

530. No, there is no way that I'm letting you go to Montana with my kid.

531. I'm doing you a favor by giving you the opportunity to sign this right now

532. instead of making you go to court with me,

533. and if you don't sign it, it's gonna get ugly for you.

534. Ugly for me?

535. It was you that the judge called unfit last time.

536. Things are different this time.

537. I have a fancy lawyer that would love to make sure

538. that you never get within ten feet of me, or Maddy, ever again.

539. But more importantly, I know what you did.

540. I know that I have PTSD from it.

541. And I know that you'll never, ever, ever control me ever again, okay?

542. I guess I'll see you in court.

543. If you've never seen a man blow glass,

544. then you don't know, it's so sensual.

545. I mean, their lips actually go on the glass.

546. Lip to glass.

547. And it's dangerous. You know, you should watch Micah.

548. He gives demos.

549. - So is he your boyfriend now? - Boy, would he love that.

550. He tells me that he loves me all the time.

551. But, uh...

552. You know, I got really burned by Basil.

553. So I'm gonna take my time with Micah.

554. Plus, uh, he still lives with his ex-wife for a bunch of fucked-up reasons.

555. Could we get some more of those free chips, please?

556. Anyway...

557. did I tell you about the collective?

558. - No. - I am part of this, you know,

559. cutting-edge group of artists, and, um...

560. - Thanks. - Uh, you know...

561. They were all Micah's friends, but now they're my friends too.

562. They're all painters and sculptors,

563. and we live together, we eat together...

564. - Where do you live? - Um, they got a...

565. A loft down by the water, at Port Renfrew.

566. And they set me up in a corner unit.

567. Got a great view. You should come check it out.

568. But anyway, hon, what I'm trying to tell you is I could not be better.

569. Uh, you know, I do my art all day. And I stay up late.

570. Looking at the stars. Talking to my fellow artists.

571. - You seem really happy, Mom. - Oh, I am, honey.

572. I am. I mean, this whole thing with Basil has been a real turning point for me.

573. I'm kind of, uh...

574. I'm kind of having one of those moments myself right now.

575. Oh, yeah?

576. Yeah.

577. I...

578. I think I told you this, but, um...

579. It's what I was kind of saying about Montana.

580. Right.

581. You left Sean-y again.

582. I did. Yeah. I'm moving to Missoula.

583. Next week.

584. And...

585. I'm going to college.

586. Oh.

587. Wow.

588. Can you afford that?

589. No.

590. Uh, no, I can't. But I, uh...

591. I took out a student loan. I'm still gonna be cleaning houses when I'm not in school.

592. And I got family housing.

593. And then I found a day-care program for Maddy, so...

594. Just like that.

595. Out of Dodge.

596. What do you think?

597. God, I...

598. I just couldn't be prouder.

599. Well...

600. Hey.

601. I get credit for teaching you how to bend towards the light, huh?

602. I get bragging rights, okay?

603. - I get bragging rights. - Thanks, Mom.

604. Hey. Hey, everybody.

605. - My daughter's going to college. - Okay, Mom...

606. Oh, my God.

607. Where you parked? I'll walk you to your car.

608. No. I'm fine. I'm way over there, honey.

609. It's gonna be good for me. I'm gonna stretch my legs.

610. - I'm fine. Just kiss Maddy for me. - Mom, I'll walk you to your car.

611. Why are you being so damn dramatic?

612. - Can we do this again before I leave? - Sure thing, kiddo. All right.

613. - Good night. - Okay, weirdo.

614. What's all this in the back?

615. Just a bunch of flea-market shit, you know?

616. Hey, that was really nice, and thanks for the beer.

617. Tell Maddy I love her. Night.