Mad Men 3x10

1. - Butter. - And the apples are good now,

2. but not from the market.

3. I can go to Rodney Farms on Sunday. It's near church.

4. - Can't we go to Rodney Farms? - We'll see.

5. - Why don't we go to church? - We go to church.

6. On Christmas. Carla goes every Sunday.

7. We don't need to go every week.

8. Anything else?

9. - It's early. Do you want a drink? - Yes.

10. - How was school today? - Good.

11. How come you never ask me?

12. I do. It's just your answer is always longer, so I thought I would start with Sally.

13. When's Halloween?

14. Before Thanksgiving. Francine and Carlton have invited us,

15. but I think if we're going to be selling Daddy's house,

16. I don't know, it might be nice to have it there one last time.

17. Are you going to sleep here tonight?

18. No.

19. You're working too much.

20. - Betts, I don't have a choice. - No, that's not what I mean. I just...

21. I see how hard you're working.

22. Hello.

23. Inside.

24. - Were you grading papers? - Why?

25. I don't know if you're hungry, but I made date nut bread.

26. Actually, I made three. Bake sale.

27. Your service called. Mr. Hilton was looking for you,

28. but he's probably in the air right now.

29. Thanks, Miss Farrell. That's good to know.

30. I thought so.

31. I want you to spend the whole night.

32. You couldn't possibly be asleep already.

33. This eight-year-old, Charlie,

34. looked up at me during art today and said,

35. "How do I know if what I see as blue is the same as it is to you?"

36. What did you say?

37. The truth. I don't know.

38. I never have,

39. but I love that he made me think about that again.

40. What would you have said?

41. I would have told Charlie

42. and that I know that there is a blue

43. that at least 45% of the population sees as the same.

44. Maybe half those people think they're looking at yellow.

45. Maybe, but the truth is, people may see things differently,

46. but they don't really want to.

47. Do you feel bad about what you do?

48. Nobody feels as good about what they do as you do.

49. That's sweet.

50. I wish I could've known you at eight. I bet you were serious.

51. And I would've liked you.

52. Long curly hair.

53. No one has it anymore.

54. - Why don't you take her? - Because I said no.

55. - You'd rather not go than go with me? - What do you think Mr. Draper would say

56. if you showed up at the Sterling Cooper 40th with his secretary?

57. Good morning, Mr. Draper.

58. - Coffee? - Morning, Don.

59. Morning, fellas. Yes.

60. - Aqua Net, 9:00. - Get Peggy.

61. Don, if you could stand over there.

62. It's Paul Kinsey theater.

63. This was my thought.

64. Aqua Net is about hold, but it's also about beauty.

65. So, we're driving. Two couples. I call it "Double Date."

66. The woman in the back's scarf blows off and her hair starts blowing.

67. - Her hairdo falls apart. - Oh, no!

68. And then the woman in front takes off her scarf

69. and hands it back to the woman in the back.

70. - Take mine. - And he says, "Are you sure, Marcia?"

71. Marcia's hair is perfect.

72. And then her date gives her a knowing smile of admiration

73. on her confident smile.

74. "Aqua Net. Arrive in style."

75. Too much story. Every time I hear, "And then,"

76. there's another chance for the ladies at home to misunderstand.

77. What if it's just the two couples, the wind is blowing,

78. the woman in the back has to put on her kerchief

79. and she just looks longingly at Miss Perfect in front?

80. - Okay. - "Arrive in style" still works.

81. And at the end, you could see the can with a kerchief,

82. like a see-through one over it

83. and the wind blows it off to reveal the Aqua Net.

84. A kerchief in a can?

85. Don't use that, but very nice.

86. Well, great, then.

87. - What do you have for Western Union? - We don't meet until next week.

88. Hilton takes precedence,

89. so I need you two to be ready for me at a moment's notice.

90. And it has to be TV to compete with the phone company.

91. I love getting telegrams, but I never send them.

92. How is that supposed to help?

93. I've got it.

94. My goodness. This is where everyone is.

95. Allison, my dear, do you mind?

96. All the paperwork is through on your contract.

97. It is my pleasure to deliver your signing bonus personally.

98. You see, I don't just fire people.

99. So we finally have an answer to the question,

100. "What makes Don Draper smile?" $5,000 seems to be the number.

101. I don't know why it took two months.

102. Will your amigo Connie Hilton be attending the anniversary party Friday?

103. - In his dressiest Stetson. - Splendid.

104. You will be speaking last. It's prime time. Please prepare.

105. I'm sorry to interrupt. Mr. Pryce, your wife is here

106. and has requested your attention immediately.

107. - Where? - Your office.

108. - What's going on? - I'll find out.

109. No, it's okay.

110. - Mr. Kinsey to see you. - What was that?

111. Thank you, Olive. What?

112. I don't need you to put your little swirl on top of my idea.

113. - No one's keeping score. - I am.

114. And every time we work together, it looks like you carried the load

115. because you're spontaneous, and you're a girl,

116. and you're his favorite and you use Aqua Net.

117. - Are you nuts? He hates me. - That's rich.

118. Wearing a dress isn't gonna help you with Western Union.

119. You do your work. I'll do mine. Let the chips fall where they may.

120. Mrs. Pryce, your water.

121. - Thank you ever so much, John. - Will there be anything else?

122. - He's such a toad. - He is. He is. Darling, please, sit down.

123. No. I'm not going to let you force me to do anything anymore.

124. Am I to entertain your ballad of dissatisfaction,

125. or has something actually happened? Because I am at work, dear.

126. I'm so sorry.

127. I went to pick up my gown.

128. The queue for the taxi was 10 long with those fat ladies in their furs.

129. Finally I think I'm en route, but I see the park,

130. and I insist it's the wrong direction,

131. and he's obviously running up my fare, which he was.

132. - I'm so sorry, darling. - I had to stop here

133. because I'd already taken a $2.25 tour of Harlem

134. - and that was all the money I had. - We'll get you home right away.

135. Do you have enough cash to get me to London?

136. Because this is not my home.

137. - These things take time. - Not for you.

138. If a superior demands that you be happy, you say, "Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

139. Go on. Let's have it all, shall we?

140. You like it here.

141. The smells and the noise and the criminals at every level.

142. I have made the best of this.

143. My salary is good. The company is flourishing.

144. My wife has a beautiful gown.

145. May I see it?

146. It's not London.

147. - It's not even England. - That's true.

148. I've been here 10 months and no one's ever asked me

149. where I went to school.

150. - I want to scream. - Don't.

151. Roll over.

152. - Just a minute! - Why did you answer?

153. I had to see you.

154. I called you from the bus station in New Haven

155. before I started hitching. You never answered.

156. I'm so sorry. Can you give me a minute?

157. - It's my brother. - Get rid of him for 15 minutes. I'll run out.

158. No, it's okay, Don. Come outside.

159. No. So there's a man in here. He doesn't need to know it's me.

160. I want you to meet him.

161. I don't want to ruin this.

162. It's okay.

163. I promise.

164. Danny, I'd like you to meet my friend Don.

165. - Sorry to interrupt. - Danny, be polite.

166. I really am sorry.

167. - What happened there? - Is it bad under there? Are you hungry?

168. - No. - Well, I should be going.

169. Listen, I know what it looks like, but I'm not a junkie.

170. Although apparently I'm too dangerous to push a cart in a public library.

171. - He has fits. - I'm sorry.

172. I interrupted you. It's a nice night.

173. - I'll see you in the morning, Suzy. - Stop it.

174. - I wish you the best. - You don't even know me.

175. - I'll call you. - Tomorrow.

176. He could've just stayed inside your bedroom.

177. I wanted you two to meet. You're my baby brother.

178. Well, he knows how to leave a room. Reminds me of Mom.

179. - He's just very private. - He's arrogant. His plans were interrupted.

180. You don't know him.

181. I'm going to get you another job. Someplace safe.

182. Safe.

183. Other people are the problem. Name such a place.

184. People are ignorant.

185. They're scared of things they don't understand.

186. I'm really hungry.

187. 1923. We were giddy.

188. We didn't know the soup was gonna hit the fan,

189. - but we made it through. - All these guys are dead.

190. Except you, of course.

191. And Doug Thompson, but I wish he were. He let me eat a whole roll of Bolls Laxatives.

192. I thought they were candies. I want him to show up and keel over.

193. Damn it. I don't want to go to another funeral.

194. Well, I'm not really gonna kill him. I just would like to, that's all.

195. Fortieth anniversary. Forty would be an insignificant year

196. were it not the average lifespan of a man in this business.

197. I don't think it's a bad idea to have a chance to out-drink your clientele.

198. Who am I kidding? I don't want to go either.

199. Have to watch Don Draper accept an award for his humanity?

200. - Don is important. - You know, I found that guy

201. working in a fur company, night school.

202. And that girl, Betty.

203. I remember Mona said they looked like they were on top of our wedding cake.

204. - Screw him. - Have the party without me. I can't do it.

205. I won't.

206. Okay. Okay.

207. It's just a party. If you don't want to go, you don't have to go.

208. It's not like it's our company anymore anyway.

209. My God. Remember her?

210. It's 100,000 bucks...

211. - Can I? - If you do it right.

212. Hello, Draper residence.

213. Hello?

214. There's nobody there. They hanged up.

215. Hang it up.

216. Why'd they hang up?

217. Probably a wrong number. People do it all the time.

218. But I could hear somebody and they heard me.

219. My goodness, Sally Draper, try not to take everything so personally.

220. Jeez Louise.

221. The phone is cheap. It's everyday, and you can't trust it.

222. The telegraph is honest and solid and clear. It's old, but it's good.

223. Traditional.

224. Sorry about that, Olive.

225. Peggy.

226. - Peggy! - Hello?

227. - Did you see a girl come through here? - No, sir.

228. - I'm Paul, by the way. - I'm Achilles.

229. Achilles. Well, hello, Achilles.

230. - Are you okay? - Are you Greek?

231. - I'm an American citizen. - No, of course.

232. It's just, that's a mighty big name.

233. - How did that happen? - Well, it's been in my family for generations.

234. When we have a party and someone says, "Achilles,"

235. all the men turn their heads.

236. - In fact, one Christmas... - Hush.

237. I've got it.

238. You've got what?

239. Achilles, I have thought of something very, very good.

240. - Glad to hear it. - It's truly great news.

241. - Yeah, your whole face changed. - Did it?

242. Well, I think I shall sleep very soundly tonight. I wish you the same.

243. Is that taken?

244. Hey.

245. I'll only stay for a stop. I tried to catch you on the platform.

246. - What are you doing here? - I needed to talk to you.

247. Did you call my house last night?

248. No, I didn't.

249. - This was a mistake. - Sit down.

250. I'm sorry.

251. You said you'd call me.

252. Your brother is there.

253. I don't care about your marriage or your work or any of that,

254. as long as I know you're with me.

255. I'm sorry.

256. I got him a job at the VA Hospital in Bedford.

257. He'll be pushing a broom, but it has nice grounds.

258. You can come by tonight. He'll be gone.

259. - Are you sure? - Stop it.

260. Scarborough! Briarcliff Manor!

261. It was nice meeting you.

262. Mr. Kinsey.

263. Paul!

264. Sorry to wake you. It's 9:00 a.m.

265. - Good morning, Lois. - Good morning.

266. I need you to type something for me.

267. - Were you in here before? - No.

268. - So you haven't touched anything? - No.

269. You do that sometimes.

270. - What was it? - Does it look like I know?

271. I wrote it down.

272. I know I wrote it down.

273. Did you find it? It's always the last place you look.

274. My mother always said to retrace your steps if you lost something.

275. Good God, would you shut up?

276. "In conclusion, with the help of Sterling Cooper,

277. "its ingenuity and influence,

278. "America is teaching business to the world."

279. Very rousing, sir.

280. Churchill rousing or Hitler rousing?

281. Mr. Pryce's office.

282. Just a moment, please.

283. London calling. Mr. Ford.

284. - Harold. - Just calling for a status report

285. on our little party.

286. All is well, although as of late, Bert Cooper will be in absentia.

287. Well, that won't do.

288. We're flying across the pond. We expect all the flowers in the vase.

289. - What does that mean? - Look, Lane,

290. we've had interest in the company for some months

291. and this party is essential to attracting a second suitor.

292. For what purpose?

293. Did we reach you at a bad time? You seem foggy.

294. - Saint John here. - Hello.

295. Lane, Sterling Cooper is for sale.

296. But why?

297. We've reduced the staff and increased the revenue by 22%.

298. I think you've answered your own question. We need this party to encourage interest.

299. - Do your best, lad. - Yes, of course.

300. - Are you quite all right, sir? - Yes. That'll be all.

301. Henry Francis, please. It's Betty Draper.

302. How are you? What a nice surprise.

303. I was wondering if you called my home last night.

304. No. No, I didn't.

305. Well, we had a hang-up. I thought it might be you.

306. Really?

307. I'm terribly embarrassed.

308. Do you want me to call you?

309. - No. - But you thought it was me.

310. What are you laughing at?

311. I didn't call you and I'm not going to, but if you're gonna call me, call me.

312. Don't make up excuses.

313. I'm not playing a game here.

314. - Goodbye. - Goodbye, Betty.

315. Try to look at this from Monica's point of view.

316. - Do you mind? This is rather serious. - Go ahead.

317. Monica wants to get married with or without Jimmy...

318. It has come to my attention

319. that you're not attending the Sterling Cooper 40th anniversary.

320. I wouldn't have told Roger if I planned on it remaining a secret.

321. In Great Britain

322. we have a good deal of testimonials,

323. and the senior members are all equally unenthused.

324. It marks the passage of time. It's painful, I imagine.

325. I didn't get to where I am by dwelling on the past.

326. So think of the future, all of our clients, all of our staff,

327. the press, newspapers and trade publications.

328. Enjoy the fruit of your longevity.

329. You really pour the honey on, then you lick it off.

330. Well, if you care about Sterling Cooper at all,

331. remember that your absence will make everyone think you are ill.

332. Who told you I was vain?

333. Please.

334. It's obvious.

335. I want to show Mommy. Mommy!

336. - Maybe she's not here. - Carla.

337. - Are you feeling all right? - I'm fine.

338. I want you to take the children to the park. Don't come home...

339. Just... Dinnertime would be perfect. Take them to the library.

340. Hello.

341. I'm glad to see you.

342. Sorry again.

343. We were gonna leave after school and I am still here, obviously.

344. You want to wait here for me? He has to report tomorrow.

345. Let me do it. Let me drive him.

346. - Where are you going again? - Bedford, Mass.

347. - It's a long drive, Don. - And you'll have to come back alone.

348. Let me do this for you.

349. I don't want to say goodbye up there. It's gonna come out ungrateful.

350. There's $375 there, okay?

351. How many times have you done this?

352. Don't you need to gas up?

353. - No, we're fine. - So you're not gonna stop?

354. Do you need to stop?

355. I have some movie in my head where I give you the slip,

356. but I might as well tell you. I'm not going to Bedford.

357. Well, I am, so I guess you kind of have to.

358. Why do you care? You're just gonna go back and screw her.

359. I don't know if you're capable of understanding,

360. - but that job is important. - Did you get me the job?

361. - No. - So shut up.

362. I'm not retarded. Julius Caesar had epilepsy. He ran Rome.

363. Things didn't turn out so well for him.

364. I know what's waiting for me at that place. I'm 25 years old, Don.

365. I don't want to be cleaning toilets until I die.

366. Just pull over.

367. - Hold on. - What?

368. I'm older than you,

369. and I'm telling you it seems bad now, but you can still change things.

370. - Pull myself up by the bootstraps? - Does that just sound stupid to you?

371. How do I explain this?

372. I can't do anything that you can do.

373. Everyone knows, sooner or later, that there's something wrong with me.

374. They're kind and they try,

375. but then when I come to with piss in my pants,

376. they stare at me like I'm from another planet.

377. I am afflicted, okay?

378. It's not a question of will. I can't change that.

379. - Do you need money? - Always.

380. I swore to myself I would try to do this right once.

381. Do what?

382. I want you to call me if you ever need to.

383. And I want you to remember,

384. if something happens to you, your sister will never forgive herself.

385. You're not gonna tell her, are you?

386. That I let you out 20 miles outside of Framingham?

387. Take care.

388. I know he thought I was passing him off, but he means the world to me.

389. He knows that.

390. What was the place like?

391. - Nice. - Bullshit.

392. He'll be as good as he can be.

393. Don, I don't want to.

394. I don't.

395. It's okay.

396. - Coffee? - No.

397. Can you get my wife on the phone?

398. - Betty. - Where were you last night?

399. - I told you, I was with Hilton. - Well, I must have forgotten.

400. Well, did you remember to pick up my tuxedo?

401. Yesterday. It's in the closet.

402. I'll get home at 5:30. We should leave within the hour.

403. I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to go.

404. - What's wrong? - "What's wrong?"

405. "What's wrong?"

406. I don't feel well.

407. Get into bed and grab a hot water bottle. You have seven hours.

408. It's all the clients and all the partners, and they're all expecting me to show up

409. with the glamorous, elegant, stunning Betty Draper.

410. I want to show you off, Betts.

411. Okay.

412. You ready? Don's expecting us.

413. I've got nothing.

414. - What a relief. Mine's garbage, too. - No, I had something,

415. something incredible, but I lost it.

416. I didn't write it down.

417. - I hate that. - It might've been the best idea I ever had.

418. I did everything. I talked to Achilles.

419. I spent last night recreating every detail of the evening,

420. hoping it would come back.

421. You know how it is. There was nothing and then there was it,

422. - and now it's nothing again. - I'm so sorry.

423. - How do you talk to Achilles? - He's a janitor with a very bad memory.

424. You know what the Chinese say?

425. "The faintest ink is better than the best memory."

426. Come on. We've failed before.

427. Okay, we really looked for advantages.

428. One of them is, phone calls happen every day.

429. A telegram's a big deal. Something like, "She's getting married.

430. "Are you really just going to give her a call?"

431. Sounds like you're talking to her parents. They should really be at that wedding.

432. Also, old people love them.

433. - "When you care, send one there." - That's a slogan, not an idea. Paul?

434. - Mine aren't any better. - Damn it, Kinsey. What's your excuse?

435. - Don't yell at him. - Excuse me?

436. Tell him what happened.

437. No.

438. The dog ate my homework. I had a great idea and I lost it.

439. I didn't write it down.

440. I hate when that happens.

441. I keep thinking about that Chinese thing you said. What was it?

442. "The faintest ink is better than the best memory."

443. It just makes me think... You call someone on the phone,

444. "Hello, I'm getting married" or, "Congratulations on the baby,"

445. and then you hang up. It's gone.

446. It's different if you send a telegram. A telegram is permanent.

447. Something like, "A telegram is forever."

448. "You can't frame a phone call."

449. My God.

450. That's the way to go. You two keep working on that.

451. When do you want it?

452. The party's tonight. Monday.

453. See? It all works out.

454. Betts, are you ready?

455. - The car's downstairs. - The driver's Chinese.

456. Ready, Betts?

457. Look how pretty Mommy is.

458. - Where are we going? - The Waldorf Astoria, Mummy.

459. Well, then we passed it. It's on Fifth Avenue.

460. It's on Park. Moved years ago.

461. That's right. That's right. When did they ever do that?

462. Enjoy the world as it is, Margaret.

463. They'll change it and never give you a reason.

464. Mummy, she's not Margaret, she's Jane. She's my wife.

465. - Does Mona know? - Yes, she knows.

466. You seem surprised that there's traffic. There's always traffic.

467. Calm yourself. We'll arrive when we arrive.

468. - They're selling the company. - What?

469. They're selling Sterling Cooper.

470. - When? - I have no idea.

471. - What happens to the Americans? - They'll go to the highest bidder.

472. I know you hate uncertainty,

473. but take comfort in the fact that we'll return to England.

474. I'm gonna keep going on and make Don Draper wait,

475. because God knows we've all waited for him.

476. As if being decorated for his service in Korea weren't enough,

477. his career has yielded even more awards.

478. The American Association of Advertising Agencies' Arthur Kudner Award,

479. Printers' Ink magazine's advertising gold medal,

480. the Advertising Writers Association of New York... I'm not reading all of these.

481. He's loyal, charming, quiet but not modest. Why should he be?

482. We have to thank his beautiful wife, Betty,

483. and his three children, for sharing him with us,

484. because as we all know, sometimes Sterling Cooper has gotten the lion's share.

485. Bert Cooper and my father, Roger Sterling Sr.,

486. bravely set this in motion 40 years ago.

487. And now let me introduce the man

488. who will stand alongside me for the next 40 years,

489. our creative director, partner, father, husband

490. and friend, Donald Draper.

491. Please. Please.

492. Please.

493. I'm very honored.