Mad Men 1x5

1. This will look good in your office.

2. What, take that thing on the train, like some kid who won at the 4-H?

3. Besides, no one wants to look like they care about awards.

4. But you do.

5. Isn't that sad?

6. Roger was very eloquent.

7. He likes to be recognized for selling.

8. Creative is less important.

9. Creative helps sell.

10. But he gave the speech.

11. Look at you in this tuxedo.

12. Say it for me.

13. Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Draper.

14. Enchanted.

15. Hey.

16. It's 8:00.

17. Shit.

18. Oh, my Lord.

19. Mommy, Mommy! Ethel's downstairs.

20. She's making us breakfast.

21. Sally, Mommy has a headache.

22. What's that thing?

23. Daddy's boss won an award.

24. Daddy won one, too.

25. An award for good horses?

26. Go downstairs and eat something.

27. I think there's Alka-Seltzer in the kitchen.

28. Are you okay?

29. Yeah, just do it in the kitchen.

30. I don't want to hear the bubbles.

31. Congratulations, Mr. Draper.

32. Thank you.

33. I hear Advertising Age ran a picture.

34. Fortunately, no one reads that.

35. That's really amazing.

36. I'll get Mr. Campbell and Mr. Kinsey.

37. They wanted you to know they were waiting, but they left.

38. That's rude.

39. They said something about the Newkie Award going to your head.

40. Congratulations, by the way.

41. Thank you.

42. Congratulations to you, too.

43. Thank you, Peggy.

44. Congratulations for what, being the only one on time for this meeting?

45. Oh, I was just telling Peggy I got a short story published.

46. Good for you.

47. The Atlantic Monthly.

48. Look at that.

49. Congratulations.

50. Thank you.

51. What does that have to do with you, Kenny?

52. "Tapping a Maple on a Cold Vermont Morning. "

53. Cosgrove here got a story published in The, uh... The Atlantic Monthly.

54. - Heavy. - You're kidding.

55. I look forward to reading it.

56. Keep it. I've got copies.

57. Congrats, indeed. A thing like that.

58. You're a writer. You write.

59. Well, yes.

60. The weird thing is short fiction is not my strong suit.

61. I have two novels.

62. Novels? About what?

63. One is about a roughneck on an oil rig

64. who has to move to Manhattan because his wife's mother is sick.

65. The other one is, well,

66. a woman who's a widow...

67. she kind of got stuck with this family farm.

68. No one will help her except this boy.

69. Those don't even sound stupid.

70. Thanks.

71. I mean, they both sound good.

72. - Want to read one? - I do.

73. But I also want to talk about Liberty Capital Savings.

74. Right.

75. Talk, one of you.

76. As you know, Jack Konig says they want a new promotion.

77. Interest rates are level.

78. Some kind of irresistible fireworks that bring people to the bank,

79. even if it's just to visit.

80. I hate it when they say fireworks.

81. Especially when they keep talking about a toaster

82. with a warming tray on top, or a blender.

83. A blender's nice.

84. Jack keeps talking about escalating the toaster wars

85. in order to lure women in,

86. which is silly when you think about it,

87. because other than a few working girls,

88. most women aren't in charge of the banking.

89. Not in my house.

90. They visit the bank.

91. They do.

92. All we do is try to get the girls in.

93. Families.

94. But you know what?

95. Men need their own accounts, beyond the family.

96. Men?

97. Oh, I can see that.

98. Discretion. Discretionary.

99. Statements sent to the office.

100. Yes.

101. Liberty Capital Private Account.

102. No.

103. Executive Account.

104. That's why he won an award.

105. Accounts won the award.

106. Yeah.

107. There's a call for you from Bix Beiderbecke.

108. Hello, Mr. Beiderbecke?

109. It's me, and don't ask who, or you'll spoil the mood.

110. Who's Bix?

111. The trumpeter.

112. I was thinking about playing the horn this afternoon.

113. Where are you calling me from?

114. I just had a phone put in.

115. Really. Instant connection,

116. just like that night at the ticket booth in Grand Central.

117. Midge, I'm at work.

118. Just get down here.

119. I want you to pull my hair and ravish me

120. and leave me for dead.

121. I'll be back after lunch.

122. Kenneth Cosgrove.

123. I think I'm going to vomit.

124. Who the hell is Ken Cosgrove?

125. He's from Burlington, Vermont.

126. His father is a salesman.

127. What does that have to do with it?

128. I can't believe he got published

129. and didn't tell anyone until it came out.

130. No, he kept walking around like the idiot he is.

131. I have this story about this crazy night I had

132. where I ended up in Jersey City with all these Negroes,

133. and we all got along.

134. Can you imagine how good that story is?

135. No.

136. It is.

137. It's a national magazine.

138. Yep.

139. That hurts, too.

140. That was it.

141. That's what I called for.

142. You can go.

143. You can't call me at work.

144. You scared of me getting lonely all the time?

145. Start having conversations with you

146. and ring you all the time,

147. saying, "When are you gonna come over?"

148. This is working right now.

149. And it worked today.

150. Look, I'm sorry your life is in a million pieces.

151. Be easier for you to have one less.

152. I hurt your feelings.

153. You didn't like my call a little bit?

154. I'm here.

155. And you waited until you were done

156. to make me feel bad about the phone call.

157. I like that you come in here, acting like somebody else.

158. It must be so intense above 14th Street.

159. Then you shoot down on the train.

160. That look when I open that door.

161. Sometimes you're preoccupied,

162. but then you always...

163. well, you always...

164. change gears.

165. I don't even think about it.

166. I know.

167. I like being your medicine.

168. Okay.

169. What's wrong with it?

170. Just tell me. I can tell you don't like it.

171. Oh, I do.

172. And I love that you're sitting alone at your typewriter,

173. drinking a Scotch, thinking it up.

174. But you don't like it.

175. I mostly read the classics.

176. It seemed strange to me. It's too modern.

177. Really?

178. Uh, that's kind of a compliment.

179. But I don't think you mean it that way.

180. I just think it's odd that the bear is talking.

181. The bear is not talking.

182. It's what the hunter imagines the bear to be thinking.

183. Well, it's well-written.

184. Why don't you submit it?

185. I was going to when I finished dickering with it.

186. You could run it by Charlie Fiddich.

187. He has one of those big publishing jobs, doesn't he?

188. Your friend Laura kept saying how he makes things happen there.

189. Why would I do that?

190. Because he can help us.

191. Call him. Ask him to look at the story.

192. Why now?

193. Do you know who Ken Cosgrove is?

194. He's an account executive, just like me.

195. Did you know that?

196. My father reads the damn Atlantic.

197. So what?

198. You don't want to be a writer.

199. I thought it was a hobby.

200. He's out there. People know who he is.

201. Pumpkin, Charlie Fiddich?

202. I'm surprised.

203. You can tell what this means to me.

204. You said you'd do anything for me.

205. I don't understand you.

206. You were so upset when I told you.

207. Told me about what?

208. Peter.

209. Told me about what?

210. That he was my first.

211. Well...

212. this helps make up for that.

213. Let Charlie Fiddich...

214. see what he's been missing.

215. Okay.

216. - Good morning. - Oh, good morning.

217. Traffic meeting is starting in the conference room.

218. Really.

219. Cosgrove, I'm serious.

220. I think it shows tremendous fortitude,

221. and I'd like to see more of it around here:

222. People finishing things.

223. I guarantee you that in the bottom drawer of every desk in this place

224. - is the first ten pages of a novel. - Five.

225. The story itself was not much to my liking,

226. but I think it showed an uncanny understanding

227. of what most people like.

228. I guess so.

229. What did you get paid for that, a hundred bucks?

230. About that.

231. Well, that'll keep you working here.

232. So, Miss Holloway,

233. would you like to take the reins?

234. Let's start with Maytag. Mr. Cosgrove.

235. Do you want to complain about the copy,

236. now that you're a big writer?

237. Production needs 50% up front,

238. and we're waiting on a check.

239. And when will you be calling the client about that?

240. Well, I spoke with him last week,

241. and I'll check with him again this afternoon.

242. Aren't you good?

243. Rio de Janeiro.

244. The double-page spread we ran in Life and Town & Country

245. was so successful,

246. they want to resize the ad to run in Reader's Digest.

247. Big ad.

248. Little magazine.

249. Sal's problem.

250. Lucky Strike?

251. Don?

252. Sales are great. Lawsuit is pending.

253. You're the one who's supposed to keep an eye out

254. on what's happening in Washington.

255. After the election.

256. I'm sorry. Do you mind?

257. I'll take any excuse to get out of this meeting.

258. His name is Adam Whitman.

259. Tell him, uh...

260. Where is he?

261. Reception.

262. I should, uh... I have to deal with this.

263. Sure, sure.

264. You better come back, now.

265. - I got this. - Okay.

266. Can I help you?

267. Can I help you?

268. It's you.

269. It's really you.

270. Dick.

271. I can't believe it.

272. I don't know what you're talking about.

273. I know I'm grown up, but, Dick, it's me.

274. It's Adam.

275. Your little brother?

276. It's Don.

277. It says Donald Draper, but I knew it was you.

278. Are you upset? Are you mad at me?

279. I don't even know who you are.

280. I know I look different.

281. I grew up tall, okay?

282. But it's me, Dick.

283. Look, I'm a janitor at American Calculator in the Empire State Building,

284. and I found this is someone's trash.

285. I thought I saw a ghost.

286. I think you've mistaken me for someone else.

287. You can't even look at me.

288. Okay. You're at work.

289. I can come back another time.

290. No.

291. There's a coffee shop three blocks west of here.

292. Deelite.

293. I'll meet you there at noon.

294. That's swell.

295. And everything's all set for the Liberty Capital meeting?

296. Yes, of course, all set.

297. Well, thank you all.

298. I'm glad everybody can make it sound like they're working so hard.

299. I can't believe this.

300. It is really you.

301. What do you want from me?

302. I don't understand this.

303. You have nothing to say to me?

304. Nothing to ask me?

305. Dick, I thought you were dead, and you're right here.

306. That's not me.

307. Can't you even say my name?

308. Adam...

309. that's not me.

310. It is.

311. What happened to you?

312. Why did you do that?

313. Why did you leave me?

314. I couldn't go back there.

315. Nothing for me.

316. I knew you weren't dead.

317. I knew I saw you that day hiding in the window in your uniform.

318. I was only 8, but I knew it was you.

319. It was a long time ago.

320. I can't believe...

321. When I saw that picture in the paper,

322. I thought, "It looks exactly like him, except around the eyes. "

323. Donald Draper?

324. What kind of name is that?

325. What difference does it make?

326. People change their names.

327. Yeah, I guess.

328. What happened to her?

329. Mom?

330. She wasn't my mother.

331. She never let me forget that.

332. She's gone.

333. Stomach cancer.

334. Good.

335. Uncle Mack took it pretty hard.

336. He passed, too.

337. Are you sure you don't want anything?

338. I know. I've got this lump in my throat.

339. I'd love to eat right now, but I can't.

340. Did you miss me at all?

341. Of course I did.

342. It's good to see you.

343. You look well.

344. Would have rather had lunch with you.

345. I know. But I have an appointment

346. with the decorator for our new apartment.

347. Another time, I promise.

348. You said you enjoyed the story.

349. Yes, I did.

350. As much as anyone can enjoy that kind of thing.

351. So you like it, or you didn't like it?

352. It doesn't matter.

353. It matters that I publish it, right?

354. Yes. It does.

355. Have you been seeing Laura still?

356. Yes.

357. She's terrific.

358. Fun.

359. She really is.

360. Trudy, I want to talk to you

361. about something that has nothing to do with this.

362. Okay.

363. I miss you.

364. I miss being with you.

365. That's very sweet to hear.

366. I know you're married.

367. It doesn't have to be more than just being with you.

368. I can't.

369. Charlie, I...

370. No. I can't. I'm a newlywed.

371. Maybe... like in some movie,

372. sometime in the future, when we're old.

373. Maybe then.

374. I want you now. I don't want you old.

375. I want you now.

376. I know you'll never leave him.

377. I can keep a secret.

378. No, Charlie.

379. Please.

380. Sally, don't run.

381. Okay!

382. Hello.

383. Hello.

384. My goodness, you're Mrs. Draper, aren't you?

385. Hello. You must be Peggy.

386. I recognized your voice.

387. So nice to finally meet you in person.

388. This is Sally and Robert.

389. We're here for our portrait.

390. Of course.

391. I guess I knew that.

392. Is he in there?

393. Um, not right now, but please go inside.

394. I'll be right back.

395. Joan?

396. Oh, my God, Joan, I need your help.

397. Let go of me.

398. Mrs. Draper is here,

399. and they're having their portrait taken,

400. and he snuck out, and I don't know who to lie to.

401. Calm down. Just breathe slowly.

402. Mr. Draper is out,

403. and I don't think I'm supposed to know where he went.

404. - That happens. - But they're taking their pictures today,

405. and I would have reminded him,

406. but he slipped out before I could.

407. It's his fault. He comes and goes and never says anything.

408. Where is he?

409. I make an excuse to Mrs. Draper, she could catch him in it,

410. especially if she just leaves.

411. Or even worse, then he'll know

412. that I know where he was.

413. Where is he?

414. I don't know.

415. You do know,

416. and you're going to tell me,

417. or I'm not going to tell you what to do.

418. - I can't believe you. - Well?

419. He sees this woman.

420. He saw her the other day.

421. He came back all greasy and calm.

422. No.

423. Oh, God. Now I've told you.

424. I'm the worst secretary in the world.

425. - Who is she? - I don't care. Please hurry.

426. Peggy, use your noodle.

427. You're making this so complicated.

428. You go out there, and you entertain her and her brats.

429. Get some Hershey bars from the cart

430. and tell her you don't know where he is and you forgot to remind him.

431. It is the truth. And when he comes back, let him have an excuse.

432. He'll have one.

433. And then you just start apologizing

434. for, well...

435. just how stupid you are.

436. It's probably what I would have done anyway.

437. Oh, God, now I really shouldn't have told you.

438. You shouldn't have told me.

439. I'm not gonna tell anybody,

440. but you shouldn't have told anybody that.

441. This isn't how I imagined it.

442. I'm sorry.

443. You keep saying you're sorry.

444. Where were you all this time?

445. Around. Here, mostly.

446. I'm not mad at you.

447. I just want to know.

448. I mean, look at you.

449. Who is Donald Draper?

450. I mean, do you have a wife?

451. Kids?

452. I'm going to go.

453. That's it?

454. Want me to pay for lunch?

455. - No. - Let me.

456. You didn't have anything.

457. I don't understand why you're being like this.

458. When I was little,

459. I used to imagine this day happening, and here it is.

460. I don't understand. I'm family.

461. I just want to be a part of your life.

462. Adam, that's not going to happen.

463. I'm going to walk out that door.

464. That's it.

465. I'm not buying your lunch...

466. because this never happened.

467. I don't like black licorice, either.

468. Are you sure we should wait?

469. I think so.

470. I can't believe I forgot.

471. Oh, are you missing your lunch?

472. No. It's okay. I brought it.

473. Well, you'll probably be going out tonight.

474. Might as well take it easy.

475. That's true.

476. Do you have a boyfriend or a steady?

477. Um, no.

478. I work a lot.

479. Some blind dates.

480. I remember those.

481. - The disappointments. - Yeah.

482. Mr. Draper's office.

483. How's it going?

484. No, thank you. I'm staying in.

485. - Mr. Draper treating you well? - Yes.

486. He's been very patient

487. while I've been learning the ropes around here.

488. Don't you just hate it when his mouth runs on and on?

489. Excuse me?

490. I'm joking.

491. You probably know more about him than I do.

492. You look so beautiful in that light.

493. You should take the picture right there.

494. Well, I... I did want to look good.

495. Mr. Draper. I'm...

496. The portrait.

497. What happened? Where were you?

498. We were just about to leave.

499. I'm so embarrassed. I forgot to remind you.

500. No, I forgot to check in before I went to the printer.

501. I'm such a fool. I don't know where my head is.

502. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Draper.

503. - Please forgive me. - No, it's nothing.

504. All we need are some wet paper towels to get the chocolate off

505. before we go in front of the lens.

506. We'll have to do that on the way.

507. They must be waiting for us at the studio.

508. Come on.

509. Nice to meet you.

510. Don't worry about it.

511. Thank you.

512. They're terrible.

513. No, they're not.

514. Don was late.

515. It ruins the whole thing.

516. Oh, Carlton's always late.

517. You can see what's important to them.

518. We're very important to them. Stop it.

519. How'd you like to be in Helen Bishop's family portrait?

520. There's a big hole there, believe me.

521. I want to take them again anyway.

522. Sally looks fat.

523. I don't think so.

524. The worst part is, Don will think they're fine.

525. Here. Maybe this one.

526. Blow that one up.

527. It'll hold you until the Christmas card.

528. The color is off on these, too.

529. Am I wrong?

530. I really expect the royal treatment when I go to Don's office,

531. and I seldom get it.

532. It's like walking into another country where I don't speak the language.

533. At Carlton's, I feel like I'm stupid.

534. All that Manhattan talk.

535. Our husbands.

536. They are better out here, aren't they?

537. Infinitely.

538. We took your idea of product and applied it directly to the bank.

539. Banking products, not household products.

540. You said banking products weren't sexy.

541. We went down some really dumb roads,

542. like bank accounts for children,

543. and then Don, here,

544. had this Roman candle of an idea.

545. Don?

546. I think Paul has a handle on this.

547. The modern executive is a busy man.

548. He leads a complicated life.

549. He has business expenses, family, leisure.

550. How are you supposed to keep all that straight?

551. Well, now Liberty Capital is going to help you with that.

552. Okay.

553. What is this?

554. An account for a man that is private.

555. The statements come to the office, not your home.

556. I see. For organizing your life.

557. If it needs it.

558. Liberty for the libertine.

559. That's good.

560. Does this say that to you?

561. It will if you put the word "private" in there instead of "liberty. "

562. Executive Private Account.

563. What are you laughing at?

564. A portion of our customers are already, I believe, doing this.

565. There's just no name for it,

566. and we had no way to charge them.

567. I like the torch.

568. It says, don't get burned.

569. It could start some uncomfortable conversations

570. in a lot of homes, but, uh...

571. it's better than a calendar.

572. Let's talk placement.

573. Hello.

574. I opened everything but that one.

575. One is about a roughneck on an oil rig

576. who has to move to Manhattan because his wife's mother is sick.

577. The other is about...

578. You know, I just finished reading it.

579. It's really a great story.

580. Thank you. That means a lot.

581. It's nice to see someone's passion be rewarded.

582. You know what?

583. I don't have a copy of it,

584. and I wanted to give it to my girlfriend.

585. Hey!

586. You said you got, like, 50 more copies, right?

587. Maybe I do.

588. If not, it's on every newsstand in town.

589. Good to hear.

590. You're leaving?

591. Yes. For the day.

592. Oh, okay.

593. I'm going home.

594. You can reach me there if necessary.

595. I've always wondered why he's ignored me.

596. Probably because he's so good-looking

597. he can go outside the office for whatever he wants.

598. Most of these fellas can't.

599. He seemed different to me.

600. Well, either way, you have to do your job.

601. Keep his record clean here and at home.

602. Honestly, if he sees that in you, you are solid gold.

603. That's my job?

604. Yes.

605. That's his private life.

606. Private.

607. That's how these men are.

608. And it's why we love them.

609. I don't love him.

610. Fine.

611. Look, if you're even thinking about passing judgment,

612. then you're in the wrong business.

613. Okay.

614. You need to relax.

615. I have never come over here

616. and not seen you with a look on your face that said "I need a drink. "

617. This job is odd.

618. But it's the best.

619. Listen, Kenny.

620. What?

621. Listen, I know I've been a bear,

622. but I've been competing neck and neck with people in this place.

623. I didn't know I was competing with you, too.

624. You lost.

625. Hello, sweetheart.

626. Hello, dear.

627. Well... I have some good news.

628. Charlie Fiddich came by the house this afternoon.

629. Did he? Here?

630. I guess your lunch did go well.

631. It wasn't lunch. I told you that.

632. So what did he say? Don't tease me.

633. He said he was going to get you published.

634. That is incredibly swell news.

635. When? Where?

636. Boys' Life magazine.

637. What?

638. It's a $40 fee,

639. and a lot of people read it.

640. Are you kidding me? Boys' Life?

641. That story was good enough for The New Yorker.

642. And don't act like those magazines do everything on merit.

643. I thought you'd be happy.

644. For a year's work.

645. You don't want me to have what I want.

646. You're going to be published.

647. Boys' Life.

648. Probably next to some ad for exploding cigars.

649. I could have gotten you in The New Yorker

650. or in the Encyclopedia Britannica

651. if I wanted to.

652. So...

653. why didn't you?

654. Why would you do that to me?

655. Why would you put me in that position?

656. I talked to my father about the house in Cape May.

657. He said our dates are good.

658. August won't be a problem.

659. That's good.

660. I wish it wasn't so far from the city.

661. Then we'd see more of you.

662. It's not that far.

663. Well, I hate you spending August in the office.

664. Although I liked your girl Peggy.

665. She's fresh.

666. As the driven snow.

667. You sound disappointed.

668. Did you read some terrible article in Look magazine

669. that I should know about?

670. I like her.

671. A woman can't just not remark on her husband's secretary.

672. Don, are you okay?

673. No, I just might have to go back to the office.

674. I haven't decided yet.

675. Phone!

676. Hello.

677. I need to see you tonight. Are you busy?

678. For you? Of course not.

679. Good. I'm leaving now.

680. From where?

681. 25 minutes.

682. I don't even know what you drink.

683. Whatever you have.

684. I'm so glad you changed your mind.

685. Come in.

686. Sit down.

687. I know it's terrible.

688. It's temporary, I... I hope.

689. Look at you.

690. You look more like you now.

691. I came here because I wanted to talk to you

692. and explain something to you.

693. You got to stop that kind of talk.

694. This isn't so hard.

695. Adam, listen to me.

696. I have a life,

697. and it only goes in one direction:

698. Forward.

699. What are you drinking?

700. Gin?

701. I found it in one of the offices, under a couch.

702. Three quarts.

703. I figured I could take one.

704. Coffee.

705. I can do that.

706. So no Abigail, no Uncle Mack.

707. Nobody, huh?

708. I know. It's strange.

709. Your office is really nice.

710. I figure from that award you must be pretty important.

711. I don't know. I guess so.

712. Well, everyone always said you were too smart for your own good.

713. Of course, Uncle Mack thought you were soft.

714. But you're not, are you?

715. No, I'm not.

716. What are you doing?

717. That's $5,000.

718. That's all there is.

719. I want you to take it, and I want you to leave New York,

720. and I don't want to see or hear from you ever again.

721. That's not what I wanted.

722. That's not right.

723. That's all I can do for you.

724. You're serious, aren't you?

725. You thought I was dead.

726. Just go back to thinking that.

727. Where do I go?

728. Adam, it is $5,000.

729. Make your own life.

730. I have too much here.

731. It's going to be okay.

732. How'd it go?

733. Crisis averted?

734. Yes. Papers were on my desk.

735. Do you want to go visit the kids?

736. No, I just want to go to sleep.

737. I want to talk to you about something,

738. and I don't want you to get upset.

739. I won't.

740. I know you hate going to my family's house in Cape May,

741. and I know even though my father...

742. No, it's great. It's great.

743. I'm looking forward to it already, I swear.

744. But I know you don't like that my father might be there for part of it.

745. I just don't like the way he looks at me.

746. You took away his little girl.

747. I was thinking maybe we should just buy a summer house.

748. Something closer that's ours.

749. I know we had a good year.

750. I don't know, Bets.

751. I think Cape May will be fine.

752. We're not that flush right now.

753. There's nothing to be worried about.

754. I'd just rather wait till next year.

755. Good.

756. Because I like seeing my dad.