Mad Men 1x12

1. Previously on Mad Men.

2. I hope you're aware that I'd love to throw my hat in the ring.

3. I am now.

4. Hopefully, if you follow my lead,

5. you can avoid some of the mistakes I've made here.

6. - Hello, Joan. - Like that one.

7. Hildy, you should do something with that sourpuss.

8. You're very beautiful.

9. You have a problem with Nixon?

10. I Don't vote.

11. Hear, hear.

12. Can you mail this for me

13. today?

14. Mr. Draper?

15. Hutch

16. Season 1 Episode 12 Nixon vs. Kennedy

17. America is still going to the polls at 4:00.

18. With some precincts opening as early as 12 this morning,

19. voters across the country are deciding

20. who will hold the most important office in the fr—

21. Herman Phillips,

22. Bert Cooper.

23. Actually, "Herman" goes on my checks. People call me Duck.

24. My research says I was not to call you duck.

25. - You should have told me that. - I Don't know.

26. I like when you say Herman.

27. Herman was in London with Y&R.

28. Isn't this a step down?

29. I Don't know. Moving back to the power center of the universe, New York,

30. and the chance to put on some weight.

31. English food. I actually ate a kidney.

32. He landed Amican Airlines.

33. You could make something like that happen here.

34. You have to spend money to make money.

35. So you're not promising anything.

36. Why would I do that?

37. My goodness, he does want this job.

38. I hope you play your cards close to the vest with clients.

39. I will keep that in mind.

40. Here's a test. O'd you vote for?

41. If I say Nixon, you'll think I'm buttering you.

42. And if I say Kennedy, you'll want to reform me.

43. So I'll say Nixon.

44. That's nice to see.

45. Cooper has a smoker at the Waldorf at 6:00.

46. - Marge told me. - 23 skidoo.

47. At 6:15, we turn on the returns

48. and send for some ice.

49. Party at the in-laws'.

50. Another ending to a perfect day.

51. Jennifer and I were going to get

52. tickets to can-can. It's empty, you know.

53. She says apparently the phone company's a war zone on election night.

54. That's what I'm hoping for around here.

55. You'd better hope she's sitting at her switchboard

56. and not doing what we're doing.

57. It's my wife.

58. Besides, what if Nixon loses? Won't that put a damper on things around here?

59. Who cares? They didn't want our help.

60. You should care.

61. I do. It matters for the nation and for Sterling Coop'.

62. But tonight, either way.

63. If Nixon wins, we win. If Nixon loses—

64. Let me console you.

65. That's him.

66. Duck Phillips.

67. I know his name.

68. Because it's Duck?

69. I grew up with a tuck. At least that has an air of dignity.

70. Don took him to Cooper.

71. That's a first.

72. I heard he disintegrated in London.

73. Got involved with some woman he met at the british museum.

74. Her name was Rosetta.

75. Rosetta Stone.

76. He's divorced. Lives in a hotel.

77. So what's this? His last stop?

78. No. He's a killer, but he's—

79. He's damaged goods. They're bargain hunting.

80. He's the best one Draper's paraded around.

81. Let's see if Cooper's smart enough to know that.

82. Can I help you?

83. What?

84. Can I help you?

85. Mr. Campbell would like to see you.

86. Send him in.

87. Thank you, sweetheart.

88. So that Duck fellow,

89. I heard he fell a part in London.

90. American Airlines.

91. $7 million in billings.

92. He's not going to bring that with him.

93. Listen, Don, I Don't feel you've taken me seriously as a candidate.

94. Candidate for what?

95. For the head of account services.

96. We may have had our differences,

97. but Roger knows I've done everything I could to emulate him.

98. Roger's not involved in this.

99. Anything else?

100. I have the loyalty of our most important clients:

101. Calvin Highland, Lee Garner.

102. These men trust me.

103. They invite me to their grandchildren's christenings.

104. When Walter veidt need a urologist,

105. he called me for a recommendation.

106. Look, you're good at your job. Cooper loves you.

107. What's the hurry?

108. It's been twand a half years.

109. I could have jumped ship a hundred times.

110. Is that supposed to persuade me?

111. I have tremendous value to this company.

112. I'm aware of that.

113. But I Don't think you are.

114. I am. I just hope you realize that, the way things stand,

115. there will continue to be someone senior to you.

116. Why? What can they offer?

117. All I'm asking is that you think about it.

118. There are men younger than me with his job at bigger firms.

119. Cooper sign off on what's-his-name?

120. Duck?

121. I'll keep you posted.

122. He's got a big lead.

123. See you at the victory party in the morning.

124. Absolutely.

125. Well, good night, Don.

126. - He's gone! - Olly olly oxen free!

127. With early returns just coming in, our NBC computer

128. putting senator Kennedy's odds for victory at a grim-sounding 22-1.

129. This is not good.

130. And liquor stores are closed tonight.

131. Draper has plenty of booze.

132. We could ask her to join us. That might soften her up a bit.

133. I have a bottle of absinthe in my office.

134. - Isn't that illegal? - It's marvelous.

135. I become incantatory.

136. And what does that mean?

137. It means he starts making up words.

138. Can someone freshen this?

139. We're no going to make it.

140. Really?

141. If I let you into that supply closet,

142. it is not going to be the sack of Rome.

143. What do we have too much of?

144. Rhum, crème de menthe,

145. dog biscuits.

146. May the best man win.

147. It matters national and... local.

148. Stop that. You're going to break it.

149. Look. They're doing math.

150. What do the numbers say?

151. Who the President is going to be.

152. - Hello. - Daddy! Hi!

153. I wasn't expecting you.

154. I thought you were going to be watching returns at the office.

155. What are you doing up?

156. Mommy said it was okay. I'm watching the news.

157. Nixon definitely won our precinct. You should have seen the line.

158. Mommy said to ask you. What's the...

159. Electoral college.

160. I Don't think that's a conversation appropriate for children.

161. Come here.

162. Do you want something to eat?

163. I'm going to fix a drink. You?

164. I'm set.

165. Senator Kennedy seems to be closing the gap on the vice president's

166. early lead.

167. State-by-state, Ohio, Illinois—

168. - Come here. - What?

169. You'd better run.

170. Go, Allison!

171. - White! - Pink!

172. You can tell me, or I can find out.

173. What color panties are you wearing?

174. What? My g—

175. Blue!

176. Who had blue?

177. Can I walk you home?

178. I used to think I'd find a husband here.

179. I think I'm going to go home.

180. No, Don't go. It's going to be fun.

181. What are you doing?

182. Why aren't you asleep?

183. What is that?

184. Nothing.

185. Myrna found it on the top of the closet, and I didn't want to look at it.

186. My father has a box like that, and I looked at it

187. when I was a little girl, and it was a mistake.

188. So you didn't open it?

189. Peter, I Don't want secrets.

190. I can't sleep.

191. I know.

192. I've seen it the last few weeks.

193. You're not very quiet,

194. and every time I see the closet door is open and that box is gone

195. I know you're out here.

196. And you never looked in the box?

197. It's not yours.

198. - What are you doing with it? - I got it by mistake.

199. So give back.

200. It's peculiar.

201. It's not yours.

202. Come to bed.

203. Vice president Nixon seems to have carried

204. predominantly catholic hudson county—

205. Kinsey, yore a liar.

206. I couldn't find any absinthe.

207. Who said you could go in my office?

208. We were exploring.

209. But all we found was a large collection of mad magazines

210. and this...

211. fascinating dramatic piece.

212. Death is my client—

213. A play in one act

214. by Paul Kinsey.

215. Give it to me.

216. "Peter Tollifson"--

217. "An animal in the board room and the bedroom."

218. Now, rember, he's angry.

219. Why do I have to play Tollifson?

220. - I wanted to be galt. - Tollifson is the hero.

221. He thinks.

222. Galt's a thug from the wrong side

223. of the tracks. You Don't want to be galt.

224. Go ahead.

225. I'm sorry. I Don't have the pages.

226. "I worked with Tollifson for four years."

227. "I shared everything, but I never knew him."

228. "I thought I knew him."

229. "He used to talk to me."

230. "I can't control my genius."

231. "I'm not some boorish natural like that hack Cosgrove."

232. That's crackerjack, kinsey.

233. "Your genius beamned."

234. "Perhaps."

235. "You can make anyone buy anything."

236. "Anyone but me."

237. Turn the music down.

238. now have confirmation that the state of Ioha

239. has indeed gone to vice president Richard Nixon.

240. I'm— I'm really tipsy.

241. I feel awful.

242. No.

243. It was me.

244. I'm— I'm drunk.

245. I'm happy...

246. But not myself.

247. I've never really seen your eyes before.

248. There they are.

249. Just the two of them.

250. What's going on?

251. I Don't know.

252. It'll be all right in the morning. He'll win california.

253. Turn it off.

254. Sit down.

255. No.

256. You can't sit down in that dress.

257. You look so different when you're drunk.

258. You're not going to call me Orson Welles again.

259. You loved that.

260. Who wouldn't like that?

261. What did I do wrong?

262. You have a big mouth.

263. - Joan, I never said— - You have a big mouth.

264. I do.

265. I'm not proud of it.

266. Did you like the play?

267. No.

268. The meaner you are, the more I like you.

269. I know.

270. Just like that?

271. I thought we could dance.

272. 1, 2, cha-cha.

273. Hildy, wake up.

274. It's cold in here.

275. It is. You have to get dressed.

276. I can't find my glasses.

277. That's too bad.

278. Tremendous.

279. Yes?

280. I hope I didn't step on them.

281. Damn it.

282. There's an optometrist on Lexington.

283. Great. Of course.

284. I Don't want you to be worried.

285. It didn't mean anything, okay?

286. You're not drinking for taste. Don't be such babies.

287. Oh, God.

288. It's definitely not helping.

289. I'm sorry. Does it offend you?

290. My shirt.

291. And my mad money. Who did this?

292. I stole your blouse.

293. I'm not joking. I had $3.00 in here.

294. If I give you $3.00, will you keep your voice down?

295. You're animals.

296. I'm reporting it to building security.

297. Striking resemblance to Broderick Crawford*.

298. Peggy Olsen, highway patrol.

299. I've read three different newspapers with three different results.

300. I'm sure you know something I Don't.

301. I just spent the night literally in a smoke-filled

302. room at the Waldorf with every republican luminary

303. save MacArthur and Jesus.

304. There's been widespread fraud.

305. Daley gave Joe Kennedy every corpse in cook county.

306. Otherwise, Nixon wins.

307. It shouldn't have been at close.

308. But it is. It always is.

309. Those jingles.

310. When they got Frank Sinatra,

311. I knew they would close the gap.

312. So what does he do now?

313. Walk away? Concede?

314. A recount in Illinois alone means 30 days

315. without a president. You Don't want to win like at.

316. But you want to win.

317. He got 50% of the vote, maybe more.

318. This way he lives to see another day.

319. - What happens? - Neil from P&G said

320. if Kennedy is willing to buy an election,

321. he's probably willing to play ball with us.

322. The optimism of the American corporation.

323. It's a football game to them.

324. - Doesn't seem fair. - Fair?

325. Very good.

326. Where do you think you're going?

327. If I were you, I would be very, very careful from now on

328. about the way you speak to me.

329. Can I help you?

330. What's that?

331. It's yours. It came to me by mistake.

332. Well, thanks.

333. Have you reconsidered my qualifications for the head of account services?

334. Would it disappoint you if I told you it hadn't crossed my mind?

335. I feel strange having to talk to you in this way.

336. Spit it out, Campbell.

337. I know that your name is not Donald Draper.

338. It's Dick Whitman.

339. I Don't know who Donald Draper is,

340. but according to my friend Russ at the department of Defense,

341. Dick Whitman died in korea in 1950,

342. and Donald Draper dropped off the map.

343. Although he's 43 years old, in which case

344. you look remarkably good.

345. - That's kind of elaborate. - Really?

346. I wish I knew more.

347. I bet a lot of people do.

348. Get out.

349. - You're making a fool of yourself. - You can deny it.

350. But I know it's true. I can see from your face.

351. You should leave.

352. You should think about how Bert Cooper will react

353. when he hears this information.

354. What information?

355. You're not who you say you are,

356. and there's obviously a reason.

357. Come on.

358. I would like you to reconsider my qualifications.

359. You said everything except "or else."

360. Assuming this information is true, which it isn't,

361. it sounds to me like you're blackmailing me.

362. I'm not.

363. I'm hoping you'll realize

364. that this all can be forgotten.

365. It's not like you're a deserter, is it?

366. When you threaten someone in this manner,

367. you should be aware of the fact that if your information

368. is powerful enough to make them do what you want...

369. What else can it make them do?

370. It's very simple. And it's not a threat. It's just a job.

371. Think about it.

372. Whitman.

373. Yes, Sergeant.

374. What is this?

375. This is it.

376. One? I'm supposed to have 20.

377. This is going to take a month, and it should take 4 hours.

378. Well, you're whining to the wrong guy, sir.

379. At ease.

380. This is for officers.

381. You can bunk next door.

382. I'd introduce you to the men, but you're looking at the complete company.

383. Where is everybody, sir?

384. They were gone when I got here.

385. I'm an engineer.

386. They're in some action 5 miles over that mountain.

387. You want to go?

388. The answer is no.

389. The locals stopped showing up three days ago,

390. which, by the way, is not good.

391. You're going to be doing all the digging.

392. - Digging what? - Well, this unit— That's you—

393. Will be establishing a field hospital, but first we're

394. going to be digging fighting positions on four sides.

395. What are you doing here?

396. Are you poor?

397. - I volunteered. - You're kidding me.

398. Well, they got me with college.

399. But I'm three years six months— Nearly a civilian.

400. I'm supposed to be building swimming pools, not latrines.

401. You any good with that rifle?

402. I wouldn't want you to mistake me for Chinese.

403. Much practice as I've had, yes.

404. What misconception traveled down the road and made you want to be here?

405. - A movie? - No. I just wanted to leave.

406. I'll bet you're reconsidering if this was a step up.

407. Miss Menken,

408. Mr. Draper is here to see you.

409. Please hold my calls.

410. Did you run over? You're flushed.

411. Let's go away.

412. Really? Where?

413. - Anywhere. - Warmer weather?

414. Sure.

415. How about Los Angeles?

416. Mexico? I have money.

417. I have money, but I have a store to run.

418. Don, are you well?

419. - No, I'm not. - Did something else happen to roger?

420. No.

421. Something happened, and...

422. I want to go, and I want you to come with me,

423. and I Don't want to come back.

424. - What happened? - What does it matter?

425. Isn't this what you want?

426. Of course, I've thought about it.

427. My God. We've talked about it.

428. I just—

429. I just didn't think it would happen— I mean, especially this way.

430. I just...

431. Don't want to be without you, and I Don't want to be here.

432. I can't just leave.

433. - Maybe this weekend— - Rachel.

434. No. This isn't how I thought it would be.

435. What is the difference?

436. We'll go somewhere else. Well start over like Adam and Eve.

437. What, are you 15 years old?

438. My father—

439. - Can't we be together here? - There's nothing here.

440. What about your children?

441. I'll provide for them.

442. And live in Los Angeles?

443. My God, you haven't thought this through.

444. I feel sick.

445. You're wrong. I know exactly what I want.

446. You want your children to go on without a father? You know how that felt.

447. Are you having an attack of conscience after all this?

448. No. I'm watching you talk because I feel I Don'tnow you.

449. You know more about me than anyone.

450. You won't even tell me what happened.

451. Why are you doing th to me?

452. What kind of man are you?

453. Go away, drop everything, leave your life?

454. People do it every day.

455. This was a dalliance,

456. - a cheap affair. - Rachel, Don't.

457. You Don't want to run away with me.

458. You just want to run away.

459. You're a coward.

460. Please go now.

461. Get out.

462. Peggy, this is my office. Does this door mean nothing to you?

463. I'm sorry, Mr. Draper.

464. I didn't know you were coming back. I just—

465. I just—

466. Calm down.

467. Stop it.

468. I didn't mean to yell at you.

469. Got to be some semblance of privacy left here.

470. I had to get away from them all for a minute.

471. Drink this.

472. Sonny from the elevator

473. and some janitor— I Don't know his name—

474. They got fired.

475. That's why you're crying?

476. It was my fault.

477. I called security.

478. They weren't even here last night.

479. Peggy, I need to be alone right now.

480. I know.

481. I know.

482. I Don't understand.

483. I try to do my job.

484. I follow the rules,

485. and people hate me.

486. Innocent people get hurt, and—

487. And other people—

488. People who are not good—

489. Get to walk around doing whatever they want.

490. It's not fair.

491. Finish it.

492. I've thought about what you said.

493. Glad to hear it.

494. And then I thought about you

495. and what a deep lack of character you have.

496. I can understand your frustation, Don.

497. I'm not enjoying this any more than you are.

498. I'm hiring Duck Phillips.

499. - Don't make me go to Cooper. - I'm not making you do anything.

500. You haven't thought this through.

501. - I have. - Really?

502. You're just going to go up to the office and tell Bert Cooper.

503. If I have to.

504. - I Don't want to. - Let me ask you.

505. How do you think he'll react when you tell him this story of yours?

506. You expect him to promote you

507. - after the way you've behave? - I think he'll appreciate the loyalty.

508. You haven't thought this through.

509. I Don't know.

510. But I'm pretty sure you won't be working here anymore.

511. What are you doing? Where are you going?

512. I'm going to take care of this right now.

513. Is this like in the movies where I have a gun

514. and you Don't think I'm going to shoot you?

515. I will shoot you.

516. I won't let you hold this over my head.

517. So you'd rather blow yourself up than make me head of accounts.

518. Why can't you give me what I want?

519. I've earned this job. I deserve it.

520. Why? Because your parents are rich?

521. because you went to prep school and have a $5.00 haircut?

522. you've been given everything. you've never worked

523. for anything in your life.

524. For gosh sakes, Don't you realize you're going to lose everything?

525. I'm giving you a way out.

526. Would it be so bad? Why is this so hard for you?

527. You' really going to do this?

528. More bad news?

529. If you came here to drown your sorrows,

530. I'm not really much of a drinker.

531. No. I just wanted to say—

532. I'm pulling the trigger on Duck Phillips as new head of Account services.

533. Good.

534. Well done.

535. what?

536. I have to bring this up to you.

537. Only because I believe if I kept it from you

538. in the end it would be damaging to Sterling-Cooper.

539. It has come to my attention,

540. completely by accident, that Donald Draper here

541. is not who he says he is.

542. His real name is Dick Whitman,

543. But...

544. Dick Whitman died in Korea ten years ago.

545. It stands to reason that...

546. he is a deserter at the very least and who knows what else.

547. Mr. Campbell,

548. who cares?

549. - What? - Who cares?

550. Mr. Cooper, he's a fraud a liar. A criminal, even.

551. Even if this were true, who cares?

552. This country was built and run by men with worse stories

553. than whatever you've imagined here.

554. I'm not imaging anything.

555. the japanese have a saying:

556. a man is whatever room he is in,

557. and right now Donald Draper

558. is in this room.

559. I assure you,

560. There's more profit in forgetting this.

561. I'd put your energy into bringing in accounts.

562. Fire him if you want.

563. But I'd keep an eye on him.

564. One never knows how loyalty is born.

565. - Sir, what do we do? - Keep your head.

566. Don't shoot at anything unless it shoots at you first.

567. What?

568. Shut up! Just stay down!

569. Do they know *** hospital?

570. We're nuts if they know that.

571. - Is it over? - I Don't know.

572. - You think they'll be back? - I Don't know.

573. We didn't shoot back. That helps.

574. You pissed yourself.

575. What?

576. Did I?

577. How are we doing, Lieutenant Draper?

578. On behalf of the President of the United States

579. and the citizens of the United States of America...

580. I present you with this purple heart medal.

581. The concussion was minor. You'll feel like yourself in a week.

582. The Colonel here has some good news for you.

583. We're releasing you to the reserves for your last 80 days.

584. You're going home.

585. That's good news. you're going to be okay.

586. Lieutenant Draper, private Whitman.

587. You were the last person who knew him in his chain of command.

588. We'd like you to take him home.

589. I think it would mean something.

590. Lieutenant Hayes, how are you doing?

591. On behalf of the President of the United States

592. and the citizens of the United States of America...

593. This is us, Lieutenant.

594. Lieutenant Draper?

595. Just go.

596. I can't.

597. There he is! I see him!

598. Who?

599. Dick. He's on the train. I see him.

600. No, he's right here.

601. but I saw him.

602. - I saw him in the window over there. - Stop it.

603. No more of that.

604. It must be hard for you.

605. Did you know him?

606. A little.

607. you got your whole life ahead of you.

608. Forget that boy in the box.

609. look at you.

610. Let me buy a soldier a drink.

611. my congratulations

612. to senator Kennedy for his fine race

613. in this campaign, and to all of you—