1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
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2. - BEEN LOST IN THE JUNE GLOOM
FOR A MONTH?
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3. HERE ARE SOME "MAD" MOMENTS
YOU MAY HAVE MISSED...
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4. WEDNESDAY, 8:00 P.M.--
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5. "AMERICAN IDOL" HITS
AN ALL-TIME RATINGS LOW,
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6. CAUSING NICKI MINAJ
TO SAY, "WAIT, I'M STILL
ON "AMERICAN IDOL?"
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7. FRIDAY, 2:00 P.M.,
RESEARCHERS CALCULATE
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8. THAT OVER SIX BILLION HOURS
OF VIDEOS
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9. ARE WATCHED ONLINE PER MONTH,
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10. OR 45 MINUTES,
IF YOU DON'T COUNT CAT CLIPS.
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11. SUNDAY, 10:00 A.M.--
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12. FATHER'S DAY BECOMES
SO INSIGNIFICANT,
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13. WE INTERRUPT OUR OWN JOKE
TO BRING YOU THIS.
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14. - HA HA HA!
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15. - THIS IS JACK HARPER.
I'M GOOD TO GO.
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16. - JACK, SOMETHING
CRASH LANDED NEARBY.
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17. DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES, THOUGH.
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18. IT'S JUST TWO MORE WEEKS
TILL WE CAN JOIN THE OTHERS.
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19. - 60 YEARS AGO, THE EARTH
WAS ATTACKED BY ALIENS.
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20. WE WON THE WAR,
BUT EARTH WAS DESTROYED.
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21. SO REALLY, I GUESS
WE KIND OF LOST THE WAR.
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22. ANYWAY, EVERYONE WAS EVACUATED,
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23. LEAVING ONLY ME HERE
TO CLEAN UP.
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24. I FOUND THE WRECKAGE.
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25. THERE SEEMS TO BE
SOMETHING ALIVE IN HERE.
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26. - UH, DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOD?
- HUH?
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27. OHH!
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28. - AND THAT IS FOR NOT
GREETING ME WITH DUMPLINGS.
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29. - WHERE AM I?
- I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU, JACK.
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30. YOU'RE CURIOUS.
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
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31. - NO, I DON'T.
I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
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32. - THEY LIED TO YOU.
THE EARTH IS ABANDONED.
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33. IT'S BEEN REPOPULATED
WITH TALKING KUNG FU ANIMALS.
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34. - RIGHT. AND WHEN
YOU LOST THE BATTLE,
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35. WE ANIMALS LEARNED TO TALK,
AND DO KUNG FU
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36. SO WE WOULDN'T SUFFER
THE SAME FATE.
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37. - I GUESS THAT'S
A GOOD EXPLANATION
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38. FOR THE WORLD
OF KUNG FU PANDA.
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39. - YEAH, RIGHT?
IT KIND OF WORKS.
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40. - BUT THE FLYING GUN ROBOTS
YOU'VE BEEN MAINTAINING
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41. ARE ACTUALLY BUILT
TO DESTROY US.
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42. - HI, Y'ALL.
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43. I'M A KUNG FU
ANIMAL EXTERMINATOR.
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44. Y'ALL WANT SOME SWEET TEA?
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45. - RUN. THEY'RE HERE TO KILL US.
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46. AND THE TEA'S NOT THAT GOOD.
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47. - UH, THERE'S NOT REALLY
A BACKSEAT, SO...
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48. - NO, IT'S FINE, I FIT.
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49. THEY'RE GAINING ON US!
TURN LEFT!
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50. - I AM TURNING LEFT!
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51. - NO, MY LEFT!
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52. - WE'RE FACING
THE SAME DIRECTION!
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53. STOP THAT.
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54. - YES! MY KUNG FU
SAVES THE DAY.
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55. - THAT WASN'T KUNG FU!
OR ON PURPOSE.
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56. AH! WHAT ARE THOSE?
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57. - WOW, THIS HAS TAKEN
A SHARP TURN.
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58. - YOU'RE TELLING ME.
WHY ARE THERE "STAR WARS"
CHARACTERS HERE?
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59. - NO, I MEAN, THAT SHARP TURN!
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60. - AAH!
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61. - WE WON! WE DID IT.
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62. WAY TO GO, PO.
YEAH! DID IT AGAIN.
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63. - AH, PO IS POO POO.
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64. - BUT WHAT ABOUT
THAT GUN ROBOT CHASING US?
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65. - UM, I DON'T THINK WE HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT HER ANYMORE.
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66. - I LOVE YOU.
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67. - I LOVE YOU, TOO, SUGAR.
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68. LET'S GO GET US SOME BISCUITS.
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69. - IS THIS REALLY THE PLOT
OF "OBLIVION?"
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70. - YOU WANT THE PLOT?
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PLOT.
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71. SO INSTEAD, EVERYONE DANCE.
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72. - EH, STILL BETTER
THAN "ROCK OF AGES."
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73. - "JIMMY WAS HE."
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74. - IT MEANS CEMENT
DRIES FASTER THAN I THOUGHT,
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75. IS WHAT IT MEANS.
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76. - "MAD."
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77. - AND THAT'S WHY DOGS
SHOULDN'T DRIVE.
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78. - WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM
WITH SOME BREAKING NEWS.
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79. IT'S BEEN MONTHS
SINCE I'VE APPEARED
ON AN EPISODE OF "MAD."
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80. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE ASKING,
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81. WHERE'S THAT HANDSOME ANCHOR
THAT EVERYONE LOVES?
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82. IN A RELATED STORY,
I'VE STOPPED GETTING PAID,
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83. BEEN THROWN OUT
OF MY APARTMENT,
AND I'M VERY HUNGRY.
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84. ONE MIGHT THINK
I DON'T EVEN WORK HERE ANYMORE.
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85. WE'LL HAVE MORE ON THIS STORY
AS IT DEVELOPS—HOPEFULLY.
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86. - YOU WORK HARD ALL DAY
AND WANT TO COME HOME
TO A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD.
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87. A COMMUNITY OF LAID BACK,
FRIENDLY PEOPLE.
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88. A NEIGHBORHOOD
WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR NAME,
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89. AND IS PATROLLED 'ROUND
THE CLOCK BY HUNDREDS
AND HUNDREDS OF ALLIGATORS.
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90. - WHOA!
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91. - IT'S THE GATORED COMMUNITY,
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92. A PEACEFUL PLACE WHERE
YOU WILL NEVER BE BOTHERED—
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93. BECAUSE OF THE ALLIGATORS.
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94. GATED COMMUNITIES ARE FINE,
BUT CRIMINALS CAN STILL GET IN.
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95. BUT THE GATORED COMMUNITY
HAS A FOOLPROOF,
ANTI CRIME SYSTEM—
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96. ALLIGATORS.
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97. SO YOU CAN SLEEP SAFELY
KNOWING THERE'S NOTHING
OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW...
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98. EXCEPT AN 800 POUND
REPTILIAN TOOTH MONSTER.
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99. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS APPLY FOR RESIDENCE.
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100. PICK OUT A HOUSE
AND FINALLY,
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101. AND WE CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH,
DECIDE WHICH DAYS
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102. YOU WILL BE ON
ALLIGATOR FEEDING DUTY.
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103. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
THAT WE KEEP THE ALLIGATORS FED,
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104. BECAUSE THEY OUTNUMBER US
TWO TO ONE.
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105. IN FACT, IT'S KIND OF A PROBLEM.
SO JOIN THE GATORED COMMUNITY.
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106. OR HELP US ESCAPE.
EITHER ONE.
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107. - HELLO. WELCOME
TO THE HAIR SALON.
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108. - HI! I WANT MY HAIR
TO LOOK LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE.
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109. - OK. COMIN' RIGHT UP.
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110. - THAT'S PERFECT!
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111. THANKS!
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112. - ANOTHER REASON DOGS
SHOULDN'T DRIVE.
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113. - MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD!
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114. - TONIGHT
ON A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
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115. OF "MIDDLE AGED WOLF"...
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116. - OH, I HAVE AN IDEA.
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117. AH, NUTS.
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118. - "MIDDLE-AGED WOLF,"
FROM THE MAKERS
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119. OF THE ORIGINAL "TEEN WOLF,"
BECAUSE THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH NOW
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120. TO KNOW THAT NOTHING
CAN STOP THE PROBLEMS OF AGING.
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121. - DOH!
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122. - AND NOW A SPECIAL MADITORIAL.
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123. - SO, UH, IT'S COME
TO MY ATTENTION
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124. THAT I MADE AN ERROR
IN LAST WEEK'S MADITORIAL
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125. ENTITLED, "AT NIGHT,
THE SUN TURNS INTO THE MOON."
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126. I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE
A FULL RETRACTION.
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127. EVIDENTLY, THE SUN
AND THE MOON
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128. ARE DIFFERENT CELESTIAL
BODIES.
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129. NUMEROUS SCIENTISTS
AND A FEW MEAN CHILDREN
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130. CALLED IN AND TOLD ME
I WAS WRONG.
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131. I GUESS I JUST ASSUMED
THAT SINCE I NEVER SAW THEM
IN THE SAME PLACE AT ONCE,
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132. IT WAS KIND OF A CLARK KENT/
SUPERMAN THING.
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133. I'M SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION
I MAY HAVE CAUSED,
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134. BUT I WILL NOT BACK DOWN
ON MY BELIEF THAT WORMS
ARE JUST BABY SNAKES.
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135. SO TO MRS. BEDICINI'S
SECOND GRADE CLASS,
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136. I SAY... PHHTTT.
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137. - THIS HAS BEEN
A SPECIAL MADITORIAL.
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138. - MEOW!
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139. - JUST A REMINDER
THAT DOGS SHOULDN'T DRIVE.
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140. - AAH!
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141. STILL NOTHING?
- NOT YET.
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142. - AWW! I TOOK
THIS JOB TOO EARLY.
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143. - THIS IS BAD, WATSON.
USUALLY SHERLOCK SOLVES
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144. THE KIDNAPPING CASES.
BUT THIS TIME,
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145. HE'S THE ONE
WHO'S BEEN KIDNAPPED.
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146. THEY WANT A MILLION DOLLARS
BY MIDNIGHT,
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147. OR WE'LL NEVER SEE HOLMES AGAIN.
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148. - AND THEY SPELLED
HOLMES LIKE "HOME,"
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149. LIKE SOMEBODY'S HOUSE.
SO DUMB.
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150. - THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE
WHO CAN CRACK THIS CASE.
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151. BUT WHO?
- AAH!
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152. - HEY!
- HELLO, I—
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153. I RECEIVED YOUR NOTE
AND I'M HERE TO HELP.
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154. I'M MARY POPPINS.
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155. - WELL, I SUPPOSE
ONE BELOVED BRITISH CHARACTER
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156. IS JUST AS GOOD AS ANOTHER.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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157. - JUST CHECKING TO MAKE SURE
HARRY POTTER ISN'T COMING.
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158. THIS PARODY COULD HAVE
JUST AS EASILY BEEN CALLED
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159. "SPELLEMENTARY,"
WITH WIZARDS, AND—
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160. - HE'S NOT COMING, OK?
HE'S NOT. WE WENT WITH THIS ONE.
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161. WAY TO TAKE THE WIND
OUT OF MY UMBRELLA.
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162. OH, JUST SHOW THE TITLE.
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163. NOW FIRST, WE MUST
SEARCH THIS CRIME SCENE.
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164. - THE FORENSIC UNIT
IS ON THEIR WAY.
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165. - WE DON'T NEED
TO WAIT FOR THEM.
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166. ALL WE NEED IS A LITTLE SONG.
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167. WHEN CLUES WE MUST COLLECT
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168. AND FINGERPRINTS BE CHECKED,
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169. JUST SING A SONG
AND YOUR JOB IS HALFWAY DONE.
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170. - DID YOU JUST MAGICALLY
CLEAN THE ROOM?
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171. - MM-HMM? YES, I DID.
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172. - SO YOU JUST DESTROYED
ALL THE EVIDENCE.
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173. - OHH. HA HA. YES.
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174. TA-DA!
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175. - BET HARRY POTTER
WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
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176. - WELL, NO MATTER.
I'M SURE A LEAD WILL
TURN UP SOON ENOUGH.
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177. IN FACT, THAT FELLOW THERE
LOOKS QUITE SUSPICIOUS.
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178. - YES! I THINK I SAW HIM
FOLLOWING SHERLOCK YESTERDAY.
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179. - THERE HE GOES! AFTER HIM!
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180. - DON'T WORRY, I'LL GET HIM.
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181. - OHH!
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182. - HE'S INSIDE THE CHALK DRAWING?
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183. - INDEED HE IS.
NOW I'LL JUST
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184. REACH IN AND PULL HIM OUT—
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185. - SO...
- HE'S GONE.
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186. - EITHER OF YOU LADIES SINGLE?
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187. - WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES
LEFT TO FIND HOLMES.
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188. MARY, YOU MUST HAVE
SOME IDEA WHO TOOK HIM.
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189. - WELL, I—
- COME ON, MARY,
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190. HOLMES' LIFE
HANGS IN THE BALANCE.
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191. - YES, UH—
- YOU EITHER SOLVED THE CASE
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192. OR YOU HAVEN'T. SAY SOMETHING!
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193. - SUPER FRAGGLE HICKIE BABBLE
CHRONIC HALITOSIS!
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194. - WHAT?
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195. - THAT WAS A...
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196. NICE SONG.
- I AGREE.
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197. - AND HOLMES?
- YEAH, HE'S, UH, HE'S DEAD.
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198. - AHH! DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE
GONE WITH HARRY POTTER
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199. AND "SPELLEMENTARY."
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200. - MAD!
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201. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
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202. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—
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203. - I'LL EVEN RECORD
YOUR OUTGOING MESSAGE. ANYTHING!
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