MAD 4x14

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The Lone Ranger recruits a lizard because Tonto is too annoying. Then the Doctor must face his greatest challenge yet: improving games.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - BEEN GETTING A TAN ALL MONTH?

2. HERE ARE SOME "MAD" MOMENTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED.

3. FRIDAY, 11:00 A.M.

4. NASA SATELLITE REVEALS A NEW VIEW OF THE SUN

5. REMINDING NASA RESEARCHERS

6. YOU SHOULD NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE SUN.

7. - AAH! - SATURDAY, 5:00 P.M.

8. EVERYONE IS IMPRESSED WHEN A ZEBRA AND DONKEY MATE

9. TO GIVE BIRTH TO A ZONKEY.

10. EVERYONE EXCEPT THE FLAMINGOAT.

11. MONDAY, 8:00 A.M.

12. KIDS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL

13. PACK THEIR LUNCHES WITH THIS.

14. - MAD!

15. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION

16. - MAD!

17. - I'M LOOKING FOR A PARTNER.

18. IN AVENGING THE DEATH OF MY BROTHER.

19. SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE OLD WEST,

20. HOW TO FIGHT AGAINST TALL ODDS,

21. AND IDEALLY, A JOHNNY DEPP CHARACTER I CAN TOLERATE.

22. - I ACCEPT. - YOU WHAT?

23. - I— - YEAH, THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA SURVIVE

24. LISTENING TO THAT FAKE ACCENT FOR 21/2 MINUTES.

25. SO, UH, I WANT YOU.

26. - COUNT ON IT, PARTNER.

27. - SORRY, BUDDY. - ARE YOU KIDDING?

28. I COULDN'T STAND TO HEAR ME FOR 21/2 MINUTES, EITHER.

29. - ALL RIGHT, RANGO.

30. I NEED TO BRING JUSTICE TO THE MAN WHO TOOK MY BROTHER'S LIFE.

31. BUT FIRST, YOU NEED TO TEACH ME HOW TO BECOME A HERO.

32. - CAN DO. - OH, ALSO,

33. I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION THAT WHEN WE WROTE THIS SKETCH,

34. THE FULL TRAILER WASN'T AVAILABLE,

35. SO, UH, I COULDN'T TELL YOU

36. WHO THE VILLAIN OF THIS MOVIE IS.

37. - NO WORRIES. IF I CAN CONVINCE EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN

38. THAT I'M A HERO,

39. I CAN CERTAINLY CONVINCE AUDIENCES

40. THAT A GUY NAMED ARMIE HAMMER CAN BE AN ACTION STAR.

41. - THANKS. - SERIOUSLY THOUGH.

42. ARMIE HAMMER?

43. WAS FIST McMUSCLES NOT AVAILABLE?

44. - YOU KNOW I COULD CRUSH YOU RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?

45. - I FORGOT THAT FOR A SECOND,

46. BUT, UH, YES. NOW, I REMEMBER.

47. ALL RIGHT. FIRST THING YOU NEED IS SUPERIOR AIM.

48. WATCH THIS.

49. NOW, YOUR TURN.

50. - THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

51. THIS GUN WOULD EVEN BE TOO SMALL FOR TOM CRUISE.

52. - AW! I'M TIRED OF ALL THESE "TOM CRUISE IS SHORT" JOKES.

53. GIVE ME THAT GUN.

54. - WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? - GETTING YOU A DISGUISE.

55. SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU LOOK ICONIC.

56. - OH, THAT'S GREAT.

57. I ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME A SYMBOL,

58. SOMETHING KIDS CAN ASPIRE TO.

59. - UH, YEAH, WHATEVER. STAND BACK.

60. HEY! I GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF FREE PIZZA UP HERE.

61. - PIZZA? COWABUNG— OH! OH! OH!

62. UNH!

63. - ORANGE ISN'T REALLY MY COLOR.

64. - FINE. I'VE GOT ANOTHER IDEA.

65. - WELL, IT LOOKS BETTER, BUT I WISH YOU HADN'T USED

66. BLACK PERMANENT MARKER AROUND MY EYES.

67. - ALL WE NEED NOW IS TO GET YOU A HORSE.

68. UH, ANGELICA,

69. CAN YOU SEND IN THE FIRST HORSE?

70. - UH, HI. I'M POKEY.

71. I'M HERE TO READ FOR THE PART OF SILVER?

72. - SUPER. AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BRING TO THE ROLE?

73. - I'M LOVABLE, MADE OF CLAY,

74. AND I'VE BEEN AROUND SINCE 1957.

75. - WOW, THAT SEEMS PRETTY DATED.

76. - DIDN'T "THE LONE RANGER" FIRST APPEAR ON RADIO?

77. - YOU ARE HIRED.

78. - I TOLD YOU ORANGE ISN'T MY COLOR.

79. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.

80. - I THINK I'M ALLERGIC TO THIS WHITE PAINT.

81. - CAN'T BE WORSE THAN THIS BLACK MARKER.

82. - WELL, LONE RANGER,

83. I'M PROBABLY THE GUY THAT KILLED YOUR BROTHER,

84. SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

85. - FIRST, I'M GONNA—OHH!

86. FIRST, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU.

87. THEN, I'M GONNA GO HOME AND WASH MY FACE.

88. - AAH! - GOT HIM.

89. - I BETTER HAVE BEEN THE BAD GUY.

90. - RANGO, THANKS TO YOU, I BECAME A HERO,

91. AVENGED MY BROTHER,

92. AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY,

93. DIDN'T HAVE TO TALK TO THAT GUY.

94. - HELP. THIS BIRD IS ACTUALLY NOT MY HAT.

95. IT'S STEALING ME.

96. - OH, WOW.

97. IS THAT TOP SECRET INFORMATION YOU HAVE THERE?

98. ARE YOU LIKE A SPY OR SOMETHING?

99. - NO. I ARRESTED THIS BRIEFCASE.

100. - HUH?

101. FINE. DON'T TELL ME.

102. - YOU GOT THE WRONG BRIEFCASE, MAN.

103. I'M INNOCENT.

104. - SURE YOU ARE,

105. AND THE NOTORIOUS THIEF JOHNNY BRIEFCASE

106. IS JUST SOME OTHER MAGIC TALKING BRIEFCASE.

107. - HA HA HA!

108. - HA HA HA!

109. - DO YOU WISH YOU HAD AN INVISIBILITY CLOAK

110. LIKE HARRY POTTER?

111. OR DO YOU WANT AN INVISIBILITY RING LIKE BILBO?

112. - IT STOLE OUR PRECIOUS.

113. - I KNOW THAT GUY WANTS ONE.

114. SO, COME ON DOWN TO THE INVISIBILITY SHOP.

115. THE ONLY STORE I'M AWARE OF

116. THAT WILL SELL YOU FINE HANDCRAFTED PRODUCTS

117. THAT ARE TOTALLY INVISIBLE.

118. WHEN YOU COME TO MY STORE, I MAKE A PROMISE,

119. AND THAT PROMISE IS THAT EVERYTHING WE SELL

120. IS IMPERCEPTIBLE TO THE HUMAN EYE.

121. FROM INVISIBLE SHOWER CAPS

122. TO INVISIBLE T-SHIRTS

123. AND EVEN INVISIBLE TRAFFIC SAFETY VESTS.

124. THESE AREN'T A BIG SELLER.

125. I'LL GIVE YOU A GOOD DEAL.

126. SO, COME ON DOWN TO THE INVISIBILITY SHOP.

127. JUST LOOK FOR THE SHOP THAT'S INVISIBLE.

128. OUR PRICES ARE SO LOW THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND

129. WHY WE NEVER GET ANY CUSTOMERS.

130. WHAT'S THAT? WE SHOULD MAKE THE STORE NOT INVISIBLE?

131. BUT HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW WE SELL INVISIBLE THINGS?

132. HUH? THEY DON'T KNOW THAT WE'RE A STORE

133. AND THINK WE'RE A WEIRD, SQUARE DITCH OF NOTHING?

134. UH, WHATEVER. I'M TOO OLD TO CHANGE.

135. THE INVISIBILITY SHOP.

136. OUR PRICES ARE SO LOW, THEY'RE INVISIBLE.

137. NO, THEY'RE NOT REALLY. WE LIST THEM.

138. - AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR "WHAT IF THEY HAD CELLPHONES?"

139. MOVIE EDITION.

140. - AAH!

141. OH, WAIT.

142. "MOM, YOU LEFT ME HOME. COME BACK.

143. " ALSO, HOUSE BEING BROKEN INTO. CALL 911."

144. - HELLO, CHILDREN.

145. I'M HERE ABOUT THE NANNY JOB.

146. - POSITION'S BEEN FILLED.

147. WE POSTED IT AND ALREADY GOT OVER 1,000 RESPONSES.

148. - LOUSY SLOW UMBRELLA.

149. - AND...

150. - E.T. PHONE HO—OH!

151. OH, THANK YOU.

152. HEY, YOU LEFT ME ON EARTH. COME BACK.

153. ALSO, THE EARTH IS BEING ROBBED.

154. CALL 911.

155. - "WHAT IF THEY HAD CELLPHONES?"

156. - THROW THE BOUQUET! - THROW THE BOUQUET!

157. - THROW THE BOUQUET!

158. - OH, NO. BOOMERANG BOUQUET.

159. UNH!

160. - CATCHING CRAB CAN DRIVE ANY MAN MAD.

161. - AAH! I GOTTA FIGHT IT.

162. - ALMOST AS MAD AS TRYING TO GET A SONG OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

163. - AAH! THAT ADELE SONG HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR 3 WEEKS.

164. IT'S SO DARN CATCHY.

165. - IT'S "THE DEADLIEST CATCHY TUNE."

166. - YOU KNOW THE ONE.

167. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

168. AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

169. - IT'S "NAIL BITING,"

170. "SWEAT INDUCING,"

171. "AND PRETTY DARN CATCHY."

172. - OH, THAT ONE.

173. OH, CURSE YOU.

174. - "THE DEADLIEST CATCHY TUNE,"

175. THE SHOW YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

176. - HA HA HA!

177. - ARF!

178. - HAS THE JURY COME UP WITH A VERDICT?

179. - WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.

180. WE THE JURY FIND THE DEFENDANT

181. QUILTY AS CHARGED.

182. - OH! THIS TRIAL WAS DOOMED FROM THE START.

183. - SO, DOCTOR,

184. NOT ONLY HAVE YOU BEEN CAPTURED BY THE DALEKS,

185. BUT WE HAVE CAPTURED YOUR PAST SELF, AS WELL.

186. - BUT IF YOU EXTERMINATE HIM,

187. THEN I'LL NEVER EXIST,

188. AND THE PARADOX COULD RIP US ALL—

189. - WHOA, KID. CALM DOWN.

190. DON'T OVERTHINK THIS "DOCTOR WHO" CROSSOVER.

191. PEOPLE JUST WANT TO SEE US TOGETHER

192. GETTING YELLED AT BY A TRASH CAN.

193. - SILENCE. SILENCE.

194. YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED.

195. - OH, YEAH?

196. WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT PLANNED FOR US THIS TIME?

197. DEATH BY LASERS?

198. DROP US INTO THE HEART OF A DYING STAR?

199. SCARE US TO DEATH BY SHOWING US

200. HOW SMALL OUR BUDGET IS?

201. - YOUR DEMISE WILL BE WORSE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.

202. YOU'LL PERFORM IMPROV GAMES.

203. - IMPROVISATE. IMPROVISATE.

204. - WOW. THAT IS WORSE THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE.

205. - WELCOME TO "DOCTOR WHO'S LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

206. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

207. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER

208. BECAUSE YOU WILL ALL BE EXTERMINATED.

209. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW,

210. THE DOCTOR, THE DOCTOR,

211. AND WAYNE BRADY.

212. - IMPROVISATE. IMPROVISATE.

213. - I—I REALLY DON'T THINK I BELONG HERE.

214. - YOU ARE TOO MODEST.

215. IT WOULDN'T BE "WHO'S LINE" WITHOUT YOU.

216. - YAY, WAYNE BRADY.

217. - FOR OUR FIRST GAME,

218. WE A LOCATION FROM THE AUDIENCE.

219. ANY LOCATION WILL DO.

220. - EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

221. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

222. I HEARD "BED AND BREAKFAST." BEGIN THE SCENE.

223. - CLICK.

224. AHH, WELCOME TO MY BED AND BREAKFAST.

225. I HAVE TO WARN YOU,

226. WE DO THINGS A LITTLE BIT SILLY HERE.

227. - OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

228. WE HATE SILLY THINGS. GOOD-BYE.

229. - EXCELLENT IMPROV SCENE.

230. WAYNE BRADY RECEIVES 1,000 POINTS.

231. THE DOCTORS RECEIVE NOTHING.

232. - OH, COME ON. WE WERE KIND OF FUNNY.

233. - THE POINTS DON'T MATTER ANYWAY.

234. - YEAH, BUT I STILL WANT THEM.

235. POINTS ARE COOL.

236. - NEXT, WE WILL DO PROPS.

237. THE DOCTORS WILL PERFORM WITH A TRAFFIC CONE.

238. WAYNE BRADY WILL PERFORM WITH A SONIC SCREWDRIVER.

239. - OUR SONIC SCREWDRIVER.

240. IF WE COULD GET THAT, WE COULD ESCAPE EASILY.

241. - EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE PROPS?

242. - ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS THING IS COMEDY GOLD.

243. CHECK THIS OUT.

244. HELLO? TELEPHONE AND, UH.

245. HELLO? WALKIE TALKIE.

246. - HA HA. HA HA. HA HA.

247. AMAZING. HOW DOES HE COME UP WITH THAT ON THE SPOT?

248. - I BET HE PLANS SOME JOKES AHEAD OF TIME.

249. - YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

250. - WONDERFUL. WAYNE BRADY RECEIVES ONE MILLION POINTS.

251. AND WE HAVE A WINNER.

252. THE WINNER IS THE DOCTORS.

253. - REALLY? WE WON?

254. - NO, I'M BEING SARCASTIC.

255. I GUESS IT'S HARD TO TELL WHAT TONE OF VOICE I'M USING.

256. - BUT WE—

257. - HA HA. HA HA. HA HA.

258. - WHOO-HOO!

259. WAYNE BRADY WINS AGAIN.

260. - INCORRECT.

261. THE WINNER IS THE DALEKS,

262. FOR THE DALEKS ALWAYS WIN.

263. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA.

264. NOW, SUFFER THROUGH THESE CREDITS.

265. - MAD!

266. - MAD!

267. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION

268. - MAD!

269. - HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?