MAD 1x24

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ArThor is a vain and spoiled god who is sent to earth to get a job. Edward and Jacob are re-imagined as nerds on a sitcom. Plus Spy vs. Spy, Alfred E. Neuman and more.

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1. - WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH SOME BREAKING NEWS.

2. ASHTON KUTCHER SHOWS UP FOR HIS FIRST DAY OF WORK

3. ON "TWO AND A HALF MEN."

4. - WHERE IS EVERYONE?

5. THAT WASN'T REAL.

6. YOU WERE JUST BEING PUNK'D.

7. - WELL, AT LEAST HE STILL HAS A REALLY HOT MOM.

8. I MEAN, WIFE.

9. WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

10. - MAD!

11. - MAD!

12. - DAD, I JUST WANT TO SLEEP SOME MORE.

13. - YOU ARE A VEIN, GREEDY, AND CRUEL BOY.

14. - YOU AREN'T WORTHY.

15. AND UNTIL YOU LEARN TO CONDUCT YOURSELF LIKE AN ADULT,

16. I CAST YOU OFF.

17. - WELL, YOU JUST CRASH LANDED IN DIRT.

18. WHO ARE YOU?

19. - I AM A GOD.

20. BUT YOU CAN ALL ME ARTHOR.

21. YEAH, I SAID IT.

22. - A GOD? WELL, YOU MUST BE INVULNERABLE.

23. - YES, BUT—

24. IT STILL HURTS.

25. - IS THIS YOURS?

26. - NO, BUT I THINK I KNOW WHOSE IT IS.

27. I'LL JUST HOLD IT FOR HIM.

28. - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE A GOD FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

29. - SO? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOOK A JOB WITH ASHTON KUTCHER.

30. DOESN'T MEAN IT AIN'T TRUE.

31. - YOU SEEM SO UN-GODLIKE.

32. - THAT'S BECAUSE MY DAD CUT ME OFF FROM MY POWER

33. UNTIL I LEARN HOW TO ACT MORE RESPONSIBLY.

34. - LIKE HOW? - YOU KNOW,

35. GET A JOB, MARRY MY FIANCEE,

36. PICK UP A CHECK EVERY NOW AND THEN.

37. - I'LL TAKE THE BILL WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

38. AHEM.

39. - ARTHOR, WE NEED TO FIND YOU A JOB.

40. - I'M TAKING BOXING LESSONS FROM MY NEW FRIEND CAPTAIN AMERICA.

41. - YOU LOOKING FOR A JOB?

42. MAYBE YOU COULD JOIN SHIELD LIKE ME.

43. - OH, BUT I DON'T HAVE A SHIELD LIKE YOU.

44. - YOU DON'T NEED A SHIELD. IT'S JUST A NAME.

45. - I HAVE WINGS LIKE YOU.

46. I COULD JOIN A GROUP CALLED WINGS IF YOU'D LIKE.

47. - HE, UH, HE DON'T GOT TO BE SMART FOR THIS JOB, DOES HE?

48. - SO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO JOIN SHIELD,

49. BUT YOUR REFERENCES ARE A GIRL YOU JUST MET

50. AND A CHAMELEON.

51. - WHOOPS.

52. THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT A SECRET PLAN

53. TO INFILTRATE SHIELD, BY THE WAY.

54. - OH. WELL, OK, THEN. YOU'RE IN.

55. - NOW YOU JUST HAVE TO MARRY YOUR FIANCEE.

56. - BUT I DON'T LOVE HER, RANGO.

57. I LOVE JANE.

58. - THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO HER.

59. - THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

60. - WELL, WHY NOT?

61. - THAT'S MY FIANCEE.

62. - WHOA! IS THAT AN ENCHANTED SUIT OF ARMOR?

63. - YEAH, HER MOTHER WORE IT AT HER WEDDING,

64. NOW SHE WANTS TO WEAR IT AT OURS.

65. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

66. - UH, EXCUSE ME.

67. I KNOW THIS ISN'T EASY TO HEAR,

68. BUT ARTHOR LOVES SOMEONE ELSE NOW.

69. - ARE YOU OK?

70. - ARTHOR, HELP!

71. SAVE ME!

72. AAH!

73. - EXCUSE ME, SIR. I NEED TO BORROW THIS.

74. - YOU DID IT, ARTHOR.

75. - NOW MY POWER CAN BE RESTORED.

76. THANKS, DAD.

77. - OH, MAN, I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

78. - IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE TO REBOOT.

79. - MAD!

80. - WHEN IT COMES TO LEARNING, IS YOUR CHILD WEAK?

81. - UH... BANANA?

82. - THEN TOUGHEN THEM UP WITH—

83. - GRR!

84. - HULKED ON PHONICS.

85. - WITH HULKED ON PHONICS,

86. - UM, HULK, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE THE BEST PERSON FOR THIS JOB?

87. - HULK TEACH GOOD HULK KID TO—GRR!

88. HULK SCIENTIST. WHAT YOU KNOW?

89. - WITH HULKED ON PHONICS,

90. YOUR CHILD WILL LEARN TO READ TWICE AS FAST

91. BY SIMPLY IGNORING THE LESS IMPORTANT WORDS.

92. - COW JUMP MOON.

93. - YOU SEEM TO HAVE MISSED A FEW WORDS.

94. - GRR! AHH!

95. - HOP. POP.

96. - THIS BOOK DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THAT MANY WORDS.

97. - GRR! AHH!

98. - GRR! BOY EAT WAFFLE.

99. - THAT MENU IS JUST PICTURES OF FOOD.

100. - GRR!

101. - SO ORDER NOW.

102. 'CAUSE IF THE HULK CAN TRANSFORM IN MINUTES—

103. - WHOA. WHERE'D ALL THIS MONEY COME FROM?

104. - YOUR CHILD CAN, TOO.

105. - ME LIKE BOOK.

106. - HULKED ON PHONICS—

107. THE BEST WAY TO TEACH YOUR KIDS

108. HOW TO LEARN—

109. - GRR! USE LESS WORDS!

110. - BOOK. READ. GOOD. GRR.

111. - "X" PLUS "Y" EQUALS—YOW!

112. OK, WHO DID THAT?

113. - HUH? WHAT?

114. - HERE ARE SOME OF MAD'S REJECTED VIDEO GAMES.

115. FINALS FANTASY.

116. TOMB READER.

117. - THERE IS BUT ONE WAY TO REACH THE TREASURES.

118. SUMMARIZE THE MAJOR THEMES OF "ALICE IN WONDERLAND."

119. UGH! ARE YOU DONE YET?

120. - PAGE 9.

121. - BLOGGER.

122. - OMG.

123. KHLOE KARDASHIAN WAS SEEN ON THE RED CARPET

124. THAT SHE PURCHASED AT POTTERY YARN.

125. LOL. IMO. SUV.

126. SUV?

127. - THIS SUMMER HIDE YOUR PICNIC BASKETS,

128. 'CAUSE HE'S NOT JUST SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR—

129. - HEE HEE HEE.

130. - HE'S ALSO GOT A FEW TRICKS ON HIS SLEEVE.

131. - YU-GI-BEAR!

132. - WATCH AS YU-GI-BEAR BATTLES RANGER SMITH.

133. - YOU'LL NEVER GET THE FAMILY'S PICNIC BASKET, YU-GI.

134. - TRY AND STOP ME, RANGER.

135. - WHAT TO DO?

136. - I THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, ACTUALLY.

137. - YU-GI-BEAR.

138. - I ATTACK YOU WITH THE AMAZON OF THE SEAS.

139. - HEE HEE HEE.

140. BUT I PLAY THE SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR TRAP CARD.

141. - UH, OK.

142. SO IS THAT IT?

143. - HA HA HA! NOT EVEN CLOSE.

144. BETTER PASS ME A SANDWICH, THEN.

145. - YU-GI-BEAR!

146. IS IT PACKED WITH EXCITEMENT?

147. - I SPECIAL SUMMON GIGA PLANT,

148. WHICH HAS 2,400 ATTACK POINTS.

149. - DOES A BEAR PLAY COLLECTIBLE CARD GAMES IN THE WOODS?

150. - CLEVER STRATEGY,

151. BUT I SUMMON PURPLE DRAGON!

152. - GOOD MOVE, YU-GI.

153. - A CARD WITH 3,000 ATTACK POINTS

154. THAT WHEN ON THE FIELD ALLOWS ME TO—

155. - UH, ACTUALLY, THEY LEFT.

156. - OH. HMM.

157. - YU-GI-BEAR!

158. - YU-GI-BEAR.

159. GOOD. WE MEET BACK HERE NEXT WEEK.

160. - YEAH, IT'S ME. I'M IN.

161. THEY DON'T SUSPECT A THING.

162. - MAD!

163. - THE WAR OF 18—OW!

164. WHO THREW THIS?

165. - WHAT? WHAT THE? I DON'T EVEN OWN A BATARANG.

166. - HEE HEE HEE.

167. AHH. HMM? HMM?

168. - HA!

169. - YOU LOVED THEM WHEN YOU WERE KIDS,

170. BUT NOW ALVIN, SIMON, AND THEODORE ARE ALL GROWN UP

171. AND BREAKING NEW TERRITORY WITH THEIR LATEST CD "ALVIN AND THE MONKS."

172. - READY, BROTHER ALVIN?

173. - READY, BROTHER SIMON.

174. - HIT IT, BROTHER THEODORE.

175. - I THINK IT'S BOLD.

176. I MEAN, AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEE BUZZING,

177. BUT THEN I REALLY GOT INTO IT.

178. - I WAS IMPRESSED THAT THEY COULD SPEAK,

179. BUT NOW THEY SPEAK LATIN, TOO?

180. - I AM APPALLED, ACTUALLY.

181. - THEY MAY HAVE STARTED ON THE STREETS,

182. BUT NOW THEY OWN THE HOOD.

183. WITH HITS LIKE "DOMINUS HOMINUS,"

184. "KYRIE NIGHTLY,"

185. "EGGS BENEDICTUS," AND MORE.

186. ALVIN AND THE MONKS.

187. ON SALE WHEREVER BREAD IS SOLD.

188. - A VERB IS AN ACTION—AAH!

189. - I GUESS I'LL JUST WALK MYSELF TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.

190. - I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, BELLA.

191. IF ONLY I KNEW HOW TO TALK TO HUMANS.

192. - WOULD YOU PLEASE NOT WRITE YOUR DIARY

193. ON THE GIANT CHALKBOARD?

194. - THE CHALKBOARDS ARE FOR EQUATIONS TO SOLVE PROBLEMS.

195. LIKE MINE.

196. - HEY, IS THAT YOUR TAIL? - WHAT? WHERE?

197. OH, I'M GONNA CATCH THE HECK OUT OF THAT.

198. - UGH. IS THIS STILL BROKEN?

199. - OH, HEY, BELLA.

200. DO YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOU?

201. - I GUESS SO.

202. - SO, UH, YOU WANT TO— YOU WANT TO, LIKE, GO OUT FOR DINNER?

203. - UGH. THAT SOUNDS SO LAME.

204. SO SURE. WHY NOT?

205. - GREAT. I'LL MEET YOU BACK HERE IN A MINUTE.

206. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? A MOPE IN THE WOODS?

207. - FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

208. I HAVE A DATE WITH BELLA.

209. - WHAT?

210. - I ASKED HER TO DINNER, AND SHE SAID—

211. AND I QUOTE—EH, WHY NOT?

212. HEH. SEE YOU, WOLF BUD.

213. - SO THAT'S AN ORDER OF HOT BROTH FOR THE LADY,

214. AND FOR THE GENTLEMAN, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

215. REALLY GLAD I CAME IN TONIGHT.

216. - RUH-OH.

217. RAN I WRITE YOUR ORDER?

218. - JACOB?

219. - HOW'D YOU KNOW?

220. - UH, BECAUSE OTHER THAN NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR,

221. YOU'RE THE ONLY OTHER GUY I KNOW

222. WHO COULD TURN INTO A WOLF.

223. - WHOO!

224. - YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALSO JUST ASK FOR THE CHECK.

225. - NOW GET OUT.

226. - MAKE ME, DEADWAD.

227. - STOP IT.

228. I—I'M...

229. - SEE? SHE'S CHOKED UP WITH LOVE FOR ME.

230. - NO. SHE'S CONFLICTED BECAUSE SHE REALLY LOVES ME.

231. - NO, I'M BUMMED BECAUSE I'D RATHER BE WORKING WITH ASHTON KUTCHER.

232. - WHOO!

233. - MAD!

234. - MAD!

235. - ISN'T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A SPECIAL CAMEO OR SOMETHING

236. AFTER THE CREDITS?

237. - SORRY. WE RAN OUT OF MONEY IN THE BUDGET.

238. - OH.