Lucky Louie 1x4

Directed by Andrew D. Weyman

Kim is upset that her 4th of July plans are ruined all because Louie decided to make a horrible impulse purchase with the money she was going to throw the bash with.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. LOOK AT ALL THESE KIDS, HUH?

2. THEY ARE THE FUTURE, LOU.

3. OF CHINK ROBOTS.

4. SO, WHEN SHOULD 4th OF JULY PARTY?

5. AROUND 6:00 OR SO.

6. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BARBECUE AND THEN WATCH THE FIREWORKS.

7. AGAIN LIKE LAST YEAR?

8. - OF COURSE. - YEAH, GOOD.

9. AND THE SNOUT FOR ME.

10. I'LL DO MY PIG DANCE FOR THE KIDS AGAIN.

11. ECH. 4th OF JULY IS A GODDAMN FARCE.

12. YEAH, ALL THE AND ALL THAT.

13. BLOWING EACH OTHER.

14. - WAIT. WHAT?

15. WIGS ON.

16. JULY 4th WAS THE DAY THEY'D ALL GET TOGETHER

17. AND SUCK EACH OTHER OFF.

18. WELL, I HAVEN'T AS YOU...

19. BUT IF THEY WERE ALL QUEER, WHY DIDN'T THEY CALL

20. THE COUNTRY, EH... GAYLAND OR SOMETHING?

21. THEY MAY AS WELL HAVE.

22. HOW GAY IS THE NAME AMERICA?

23. "AMERICA! OOH!"

24. IS A COVER-UP.

25. GEORGE WASHINGTON'S WOODEN TEETH?

26. KNOCKED 'EM OUT

27. OTHER FOUNDING FAGS.

28. THE FIREWORKS.

29. WELL, FIREWORKS ARE MERELY

30. ALL OVER EACH OTHERS' FACES.

31. WELL, I HOPE TIME THIS YEAR.

32. Louis C.K.: "LUCKY LOUIE" WAS TAPED BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.

33. ALL RIGHT, DID WE GET EVERYTHING?

34. LOOK AT ALL THAT FOOD.

35. YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO NEED SOME TOILET PAPER.

36. THAT'S $235.15.

37. - IT DIDN'T GO THROUGH. DIDN'T GO THROUGH?

38. IT SAYS, "INSUFFICIENT FUNDS."

39. I DON'T GET IT. I DEPOSITED MY PAYCHECK.

40. WELL, MAYBE IT DIDN'T CLEAR YET.

41. NO, IT DID. I CHECKED THE BALANCE.

42. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I PAID THE RENT.

43. YOU PAID THE RENT? WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

44. WE CAN'T LIVE THERE.

45. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO

46. A CHECK FOR THIS. - WE'LL HAVE TO VERIFY IT.

47. OKAY, FORGET THAT.

48. OKAY, HOW DO YOU WANT TO PAY FOR THIS, MA'AM?

49. YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I MUST'VE LEFT MY MONEY IN THE CAR.

50. YOU GUYS HAVE A CAR?

51. HEY, WE HAD FUN PICKING IT OUT THOUGH. THAT WAS— THAT WAS GREAT.

52. I— I'LL PUT THESE BACK.

53. OKAY, I'LL— I'LL CALL EVERYBODY AND CANCEL THE PARTY THEN.

54. - WE'RE HAVING THE PARTY. - WITH WHAT?

55. THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME MONEY AROUND HERE SOMEPLACE.

56. - HON, YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND ANYTHING IN THERE. - WHAT ARE THESE?

57. ARE THESE PEEP-SHOW TOKENS?

58. NO.

59. THEY HAVE TITS ON THEM.

60. THAT'S CANADIAN MONEY.

61. LOOK, HONEY. ON THE 4th OF JULY.

62. WE CAN GO TO THE— AND TAKE A WALK,

63. THOSE ARE FREE.

64. OUR PARTY.

65. ALL YEAR LONG,

66. WE NEVER EAT OUT, WE SHARE DEODORANT.

67. AND NOW WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE THAT, SO WHAT DOES THAT MAKE US?

68. - WELL, WE STILL GOT EACH OTHER. - FUCK THAT SHIT.

69. HEY, WALTER, WHAT'S UP?

70. OH, HEY.

71. GOT AN EXTRA SMOKE?

72. OH, I'M SORRY, THIS IS MY LAST ONE.

73. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

74. - OH, MAN, WHAT A DAY. - YEAH.

75. DID YOU HAVE TO WORK TODAY?

76. - YUP. - ON A HOLIDAY? THAT SUCKS.

77. 4th OF JULY IS THE WORST.

78. MAN, THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT.

79. YEAH, I KNOW, ALL RIGHT?

80. YOU DON'T KNOW.

81. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE HAVE TROUBLE PAYING OUR BILLS. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

82. - NO, YOU DON'T. - WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

83. 'CAUSE, MAN, YOU'RE WHITE. YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

84. WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. JUST 'CAUSE I'M WHITE—

85. COME ON, BE HONEST. IT'S GREAT BEING WHITE.

86. JUST THAT BY ITSELF. I BET IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

87. YEAH, IT'S PRETTY SWEET.

88. SORRY.

89. NO, MAN, ENJOY IT.

90. AIN'T HAVING A GOOD TIME, THEN WHAT'S IT ALL FOR?

91. - HELLO, LADIES. - HEY, NICK.

92. HEY, WE'RE FIXING THE PIPES TOMORROW,

93. A GOOD SCRUBBING TONIGHT.

94. - YEAH, THANKS. - BY THE WAY, WHERE'S THE RENT?

95. OH, I'LL PAY YOU ON TUESDAY, OKAY?

96. YEAH, YOU'LL PAY ME TUESDAY.

97. LONG WEEKEND, WAIT TO PAY THE RENT.

98. SHIT.

99. I'M SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

100. MY WIFE THINKS WE'RE BROKE 'CAUSE I PAID THE RENT,

101. BUT I DIDN'T PAY THE RENT, I LIED.

102. WE'RE REALLY BROKE

103. BECAUSE OF THIS.

104. OKAY.

105. IT'S FRANKENSTEIN.

106. - YEAH, I GOTTA GET GOING, MAN. - NO, LISTEN.

107. ONLINE FOR $300.

108. - NO YOU DIDN'T. - YEAH, I DID.

109. IT'S STUPID, FUCKING INTERNET,

110. IT'S JUST TOO EASY.

111. FRANKENSTEIN,

112. I SAW IT ON AND I THOUGHT,

113. "OH FUCK, I HAVE TO HAVE THAT."

114. IT'S IN MY HAND.

115. IT'S MINE. AND IT'S EXACTLY

116. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

117. YOU PAID $300 FOR THAT DOLL?

118. YUP. AND NOW KIM CAN'T HAVE HER PICNIC.

119. SEE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE WHITE.

120. WELL...

121. THAT'S NOT WHITE OR BLACK, THAT'S JUST FUCKED UP.

122. - HI. - OH, HI.

123. YOU'RE HOME LATE. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

124. YEAH, I WAS JUST TALKING TO LOUIE IN THE COURTYARD.

125. WHY DO YOU TALK TO HIM?

126. YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

127. HE SPENT $300 ON A FRANKENSTEIN DOLL.

128. OH MY GOODNESS.

129. YOU MEN AND YOUR TOYS.

130. WHAT? DON'T THROW ME IN WITH HIM, I DON'T BUY STUFF LIKE THAT.

131. YOUR SAMURAI SWORD?

132. THAT IS NOT A TOY.

133. A TRADITION OF HONOR.

134. - COLLECTING DUST. - OKAY. I THOUGHT WE ALREADY HAD THIS ARGUMENT,

135. IT AGAIN, FINE. LET'S GO, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

136. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

137. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU GOT INTO A SWORD FIGHT?

138. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

139. HEY, EXCUSE ME,

140. BUY STUFF HERE?

141. - YEAH, SOMETIMES. - OH, WELL, UM...

142. I WANT TO SELL THIS.

143. NOT INTERESTED.

144. WELL, THIS IS AN ORIGINAL FRANKENSTEIN.

145. I DON'T CARE. I DON'T LIKE FRANKENSTEIN.

146. IT'S A COLLECTOR'S ITEM. IT'S WORTH $300.

147. TO THAT LITTLE GIRL, RIGHT?

148. - THAT WAS JUST A MOVIE. - YEAH, AND I WAS JUST AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY.

149. OUT OF MY STORE.

150. MAN, I CAN'T BRING THIS HOME TO MY WIFE,

151. SHE'S GONNA DIVORCE ME. JUST PLEASE...

152. BUY IT TO HELP ME? PLEASE.

153. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

154. WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

155. I'M WILLING TO DO:

156. I'M NOT BUYING THAT.

157. LISTEN, GUYS.

158. ABOUT THAT.

159. I GOT AN IDEA. WHY DON'T YOU

160. TO FRECKLED RETARDS?

161. THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME WAY TO MAKE SOME QUICK CASH.

162. - NO, THERE ISN'T. - WHAT ABOUT SELLING POT?

163. THAT'S QUICK EASY MONEY. ISN'T THAT WHY YOU DO IT?

164. AND SPIT IT IN YOUR FACE.

165. OH, MAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

166. WHAT HAPPENED. - FUCK THAT.

167. LOOK, ALL I NEED IS SO WE CAN HAVE THE PICNIC,

168. THEN NEXT WEEK SHE'LL GET PAID AGAIN, WE'LL CATCH UP AND SHE'LL NEVER KNOW.

169. SO YOU'RE GONNA LIE? WHY DO YOU LIE?

170. SO SHE WON'T KNOW SHE'S MARRIED TO.

171. - I'M DOING IT FOR HER. - YEAH, BUT IF YOU LIE,

172. TO COVER THAT LIE.

173. PRETTY SOON, YOU'RE IN A WHOLE MESS OF LIES.

174. WELL YEAH,

175. AND EVERYTHING, BUT HEY, MARRIAGE IS WORK.

176. I CAN'T LET HER KNOW ABOUT THIS.

177. THIS IS FUCKING HEINOUS.

178. SPEND $300

179. YOU CAN'T FUCK?

180. THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME WAY TO FUCK IT.

181. - HEY, LOUIE. - HEY, WALTER.

182. OH HEY, HOW DID WITH KIM'S PICNIC?

183. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. I'M GOING IN THERE NOW TO TELL KIM THE TRUTH.

184. WHOA WHOA WHOA, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

185. WELL, I DON'T WANT TO, BUT—

186. YOU KNOW, I HATE BECAUSE YOU'RE A GUY

187. SOME STUPID SHIT.

188. - LET ME LOAN YOU THE MONEY. - WHAT? NO, MAN.

189. LOOK, MAN, YOU BOUGHT THAT DOLL. THAT'S YOUR RIGHT— YOU'RE A MAN.

190. DON'T TELL HER SHIT.

191. - HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED? - LIKE $200.

192. - I THINK I CAN SWING THAT. - OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SAVING MY LIFE.

193. LISTEN, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE MONEY NEXT WEEK. I'LL PAY YOU BACK.

194. IT'S ALL GOOD. JUST ENJOY YOUR PICNIC...

195. AND YOUR DOLL.

196. - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? - CHECK IT OUT!

197. HOW MUCH IS THAT?

198. - $200. - WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

199. FILL IN FOR THE DAY.

200. LOUIE, THIS IS AMAZING!

201. OOH, I CAN TELL YOU'VE BEEN WORKING, YOU STINK.

202. WELL, LISTEN. THERE'S STILL TIME TO GET FOOD.

203. I'LL GO GET THE PIG AND YOU CAN CALL EVERYBODY.

204. LOUIE, YOU REALLY CAME THROUGH.

205. YOU KICKED ASS. I MEAN IT.

206. STEPPED UP BIG TIME.

207. - YEAH, WELL.

208. - OH, HEY, NICK. - HEY.

209. LISTEN, THE BATHROOM ABOVE YOU IS BUSTED,

210. THAT'S NOT YOURS.

211. DON'T FLUSH IT, 'CAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO TRACK IT.

212. - YEAH, OKAY. THANKS, MAN. - DON'T FORGET THE RENT ON TUESDAY.

213. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? PAY ME TUESDAY.

214. - LOUIE ALREADY PAID YOU. - NO, HE DIDN'T.

215. - YES, HE DID. - OH WAIT. NO, HE DIDN'T.

216. I'LL SEE YOU TUESDAY.

217. - LOUIE, WHAT IS— - ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T PAY THE RENT.

218. WHAT?

219. IS GOING ON?

220. IS THAT FRANKENSTEIN?

221. - HEY— FOR THAT FUCKING THING?

222. - $300. - OH, MAN!

223. - JESUS! - LOOK, I'M SORRY,

224. BUT I DID— LOOK, I FIXED IT,

225. I MADE THE MONEY. MADE MONEY,

226. THE PARTY, SO THERE'S NO HARM, RIGHT?

227. I'M SORRY.

228. THE MONEY BACK.

229. I DIDN'T MOW ANY LAWNS.

230. MOTHERFUCKER!

231. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

232. OH SHIT! UGH!

233. OH... FUCK!

234. OH!

235. FUCK!

236. MOTHERFUCKER.

237. COCKSUCKER.

238. GONNA JUST...

239. FORGET IT.

240. ALL RIGHT.

241. LOOK, I'VE BEEN TRYING

242. TO YOU

243. COMPLETELY.

244. SO AWFUL,

245. SOMETHING BEHIND IT,

246. - SOMETHING GOING ON. - YEAH, WELL, HERE'S—

247. OKAY, HERE'S WHAT I CAME UP WITH.

248. I THINK THAT YOU...

249. NEEDED TO BUY THIS...

250. KINDA LIKE...

251. HOW I NEEDED THE PICNIC.

252. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES

253. YOU KNOW? I MEAN, I GET IT.

254. LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS THAT GREAT AROUND HERE,

255. WITH THIS.

256. SO, AT LEAST...

257. WHERE IT CAME FROM.

258. THERE'S NO VOID.

259. LOOK, IT'D BE GREAT IF THERE WAS.

260. BUT THERE'S JUST...

261. YOUR NICE PICNIC.

262. PLEASE, COULD YOU THE VOID THING?

263. OKAY.

264. I'M— I'M SORRY.

265. I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY.

266. I CAN'T SLEEP.

267. HEY. I GOT YOU A DOLL.

268. THANKS.

269. AND HERE'S THE CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY.

270. - HI. - WHAT IS THIS?

271. WELL, WE KNEW ON YOUR PARTY,

272. SO WE THOUGHT WE'D BRING THE PARTY TO YOU.

273. HEY, KITTEN. I BROUGHT

274. WITH VODKA FOR US.

275. OH, WAIT.

276. - YES, I KNOW ABOUT FRANKENSTEIN.

277. - MAN, ARE YOU STUPID.

278. NO DISRESPECT, KIM,

279. BUT YOU MARRIED POORLY.

280. MOM, IS THIS A PARTY?

281. YES, I THINK SO, SWEETIE.

282. - Kim: OH MY GOD, LOOK.

283. COME HERE, KIDS, YOU CAN SEE THE FIREWORKS.

284. WOW.

285. WOW.

286. GOD, THAT'S DISGUSTING.

287. MAKING ME SELL THIS.

288. AW, THAT'S A SHAME.

289. MMM.

290. 17th-CENTURY HOSOKAWA.

291. MM-HMM. IT'S IN EXCELLENT CONDITION.

292. YEAH. I DON'T WANT IT.

293. - WHY NOT? 17th-CENTURY HOSOKAWA,

294. ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO.

295. USED TO BE A HUBCAP.