Love, Victor 3x3

1. - So, what do you think of the new church?

2. Father Choi seems pretty cool, right? Very accepting?

3. - Yeah, I mean, he didn't say I was goin' to hell

4. for being gay, so that's a plus.

5. - Speaking of which, did you see the flowerbed?

6. They planted it like a gay rainbow flag.

7. - Uh, it's just "rainbow flag," babe.

8. - Mom, you don't have to sell it so hard.

9. I like it here. - You do?

10. - Yeah. - Well, who knows?

11. Maybe you'll join a youth group and meet a nice boy.

12. - All right, now you went too far.

13. - What, I can't want my son to meet a nice boy?

14. - Mom, Benji and I just broke up, and I'm still really sad about it.

15. - He didn't even put product in his hair today.

16. If that doesn't say gay depression, I don't know what does.

17. - All right, look, Mom, I'm just—

18. I'm not ready to date anybody new yet.

19. - Okay, understood.

20. - Let's set up the snack table.

21. The body of Christ wasn't very filling anyway.

22. - Isa—

23. - I know. - You're telling him to meet a guy at church?

24. - Well, ever since this Benji thing,

25. he just lies in bed and watches Emily in Paris,

26. and not even the good season.

27. I just thought it might cheer him up

28. if he knew that his mother was a supportive gay ally.

29. - It's just "ally," and, uh, I think you should give him some space.

30. - Are you guys new? - Yeah.

31. - I'm Doug. This is my wife, Carrie. - Hi.

32. - Hi. - Hi, hi, Armando.

33. - Armando. - Hi. Isabel.

34. - Hi. - Hi.

35. - So, I promise I wasn't eavesdropping,

36. but I... I heard you both say that you have a gay son?

37. - Our son, Victor.

38. He's actually the reason we came to the church.

39. We wanted a place where he would feel welcome.

40. Well, you've found it.

41. Our son, Nick, is gay, too,

42. and... everyone has been so warm and welcoming.

43. - How old is he? - Seventeen.

44. - Seventeen.

45. Is he single?

46. What, I backed off for six seconds.

47. That is a personal best.

48. - I can't believe we live together.

49. - I know! We always talked about being roomies,

50. but I always figured it would be during a semester abroad

51. in some cramped apartment in Rome,

52. and we'd be dating a pair of hot Italian brothers.

53. - Or a brother and a sister.

54. The dream can change with the times.

55. - Pizza tonight?

56. - Uh-uh, one slice is an hour and a half on the elliptical.

57. - Okay, can we help you?

58. - Well, I was just checking in on our guest of honor

59. to see how you're settling in.

60. - Yeah, everything's perfect.

61. Georgina, I really can't thank you enough

62. for letting me stay here.

63. - Well, I feel terrible that I'm not gonna be here for your first weekend,

64. but I am the sole celebrity judge

65. in the Little Miss Georgia Peach pageant.

66. You know how they like a little star power.

67. You sure you guys are gonna be fine here on your own?

68. - Yeah, we're excited to have a little girls' night.

69. I got a bunch of Korean face masks

70. and some stupid magazines.

71. - Save me one of those masks, okay?

72. They discontinued my favorite skin cream

73. because, apparently, "pandas are endangered."

74. Bye.

75. - Ooh, yay! Lucy's in for girls' night.

76. - Oh, I, I didn't know you were inviting her.

77. - Hm. - But, duh,

78. I mean, your girlfriend's a girl.

79. - I know. Isn't it awesome?

80. - Mm-hm.

81. - Wow. - Oh!

82. - Dance-cleaning. You must be in a good mood.

83. - Yes, I'm very happy.

84. - Good happy or... "splatter painting the appliances

85. at four in the morning" happy?

86. - But I still think that that oven looked pretty cool.

87. - Okay.

88. - Okay.

89. I'm doing really well, okay?

90. I have a psychiatrist that I love.

91. I found some meds that I can actually stay awake on.

92. I am very excited about my son's new girlfriend.

93. - No, no, no, no. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.

94. Please, okay? - What?

95. - The Salazars might be able to hear, okay?

96. - Well, honey, unless they've bugged our floor,

97. they can't hear us. I have to tell you, though,

98. I don't love keeping a secret from them.

99. - Me neither, but, you know, Pilar isn't ready for us

100. to spill our love beans.

101. - Okay.

102. Speaking of spilling your love beans,

103. I met someone.

104. - Someone?

105. As, as, as in a man?

106. - Yes... a very sweet man named Stuart.

107. - Wow.

108. Wow. That is, that is, that is so great.

109. - You're doin' the thing with your hair. You're freaking out.

110. - No, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm not.

111. I'm not freaking out, okay? I'm not freaking out.

112. It's just, you know, I— You just— Y-Ya haven't been on a date, like... ever.

113. - Listen, I'm seeing him tonight.

114. I want you to come and meet him. Bring Pilar.

115. Maybe she can get you to stop doin' the thing with your hair.

116. - 'Kay, first of all, that— I'm not, I'm not stress-combing.

117. - Okay. - Okay? I, I— That, that's just me stylin' my lid,

118. and I... will think about it.

119. - Okay... Think about it. - Mm-hm.

120. - Okay... think really hard about it.

121. - Who am I even looking this good for?

122. Okay, that was funny.

123. Look, I get it. Breakups suck.

124. Or at least, so I hear. I've never actually dated anyone before.

125. But maybe it's time for you to get back out there.

126. - Dude, you sound like my mom.

127. - Uh, huge compliment.

128. I hope my waist is that tiny when I'm her age.

129. All I'm saying is, it might not be the worst idea for you to have some fun.

130. - What's the point?

131. 'Cause any guy I meet doesn't stand a chance

132. because I'm still hung up on Benji.

133. - I know... I lived it.

134. Uh, speaking of...

135. someone just posted about your former boo on Creeksecrets.

136. "Bender Benji's Holiday Ski Trip

137. was really a secret jaunt to rehab."

138. - To be fair, the whole ski trip thing was, kind of, a terrible lie.

139. - There he is.

140. Do you think he knows?

141. Like... maybe I should go see if he's okay.

142. I— Except we shouldn't be talking.

143. I'll see you later.

144. - Hey, friend. - Hey.

145. I just saw Victor,

146. but I'm not supposed to talk to him.

147. I'm drowning in calculus right now 'cause I missed a week,

148. and got, like, no homework done over the winter break.

149. - Don't kill the messenger,

150. but I have another cloud to add to your shitstorm.

151. - Oh god... What is it?

152. - Okay, so, some rando must've found out that... your ski trip wasn't a ski trip.

153. There's a post about you goin' to rehab.

154. - What up, Ski-hab?

155. - Who do you think posted it?

156. - I only told you and Victor.

157. But I did say he could tell his closest friends.

158. - I will add that to our list of things to do on our girls' night.

159. - Um, okay, so about girls' night,

160. I definitely wanna do that soon,

161. but... Lucy and I were thinking, since my mom's gone, we might,

162. you know, have a different type of girls' night.

163. - Wait, does that mean—

164. - Whatever you're about to say, just don't.

165. - That seems wise.

166. - I'm so sorry, Mia. I hate to cancel our plans.

167. - Stop. I totally get it.

168. Uh, yeah, I'll just— I'll hang with this one.

169. - I have an English quiz to cram for, so... see you later?

170. - Yeah.

171. - Oh my god... This is your first time, right?

172. - Mm-hm. - Are you okay?

173. Do you, do you wanna talk about it?

174. - Yeah, I had some questions,

175. but talked about it with Lucy, and now we're good.

176. - That's so... great.

177. - Stop picturing it.

178. - I am only human.

179. Hmm.

180. - Hey.

181. - Victor, can you take a shower and be quick?

182. - Why, are we having people over? - Yeah.

183. Your father and I met a lovely couple at church the other day.

184. And guess what? They have a son your age... who's gay.

185. - Oh my god, you didn't. - We did.

186. - Actually, she did, Victor, okay? I told her, I begged her.

187. I'm, I'm sorry, Isa, but I'm not goin' down for this.

188. - Ay, can you just give it a chance?

189. Maybe you and Nick'll hit it off.

190. - Because we're both gay?

191. Are all straight people perfect for each other because they're straight?

192. - I'm with Victor. This whole thing is messed up,

193. and in support, I'm blowing off this dinner and going out with my friends.

194. - Wait, wait, wait. What, What friends? Where you going?

195. - Oh, just to the abandoned house across from the gas station to shoot up.

196. Byeee. - That's not funny. Pilar!

197. - Victor, can you take a shower, please?

198. Because they are on their way.

199. I'm sensing a lot of tension right now, so I'll take dinner in my room.

200. - Me too. - Oh, no. Not you.

201. - Mom. - No, no, no, come on.

202. - Thanks for havin' us.

203. - Good to see you.

204. - Fine, I will stay for dinner,

205. but only because you raised me to be polite.

206. - Seriously?

207. - Sorry. I, uh, I thought you worked Mondays and Wednesdays.

208. And, yes, I memorized your schedule

209. because I hate awkward run-ins

210. just as much as I love this place's cinnamon oat lattes.

211. - How about a double shot,

212. so you can have enough energy to blow up someone else's life?

213. - Is this about today's rehab post?

214. Because I would never, ever write something like that.

215. - Right, right. Because you have so much honor.

216. Except when you're kissing other people's boyfriends.

217. - It's so annoying that my parents are pimping out Victor to some random kid.

218. Meanwhile, my dad treats me like

219. I'm about to be the next story on Dateline.

220. Wow... You're even worse at fake laughing than Victor.

221. - Yeah. - Are you okay?

222. - Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, you know,

223. this whole my mom dating thing's throwing me for a loop.

224. - She seems like she's doing a lot better.

225. - I know, okay? And I wanna believe that she is,

226. but the last guy my mom was with was my dad,

227. and when they split, she spiraled... hard.

228. I just don't want some random guy undoing all of her progress.

229. - Oh! - Hi, hi, uh, you must be Felix.

230. - Uh, yes, yes, um, uh, Pilar.

231. - Hi. - Hi.

232. - Stuart.

233. - Thank you for meeting us here, you guys.

234. Um, okay, I'm gonna let you guys

235. get to know each other a little bit more,

236. and I'm gonna go get our cakes, and we'll get started.

237. - So, um, how did you two meet?

238. - I own a meditation studio,

239. and Dawn started taking my energy healing class.

240. - Oh, okay.

241. So, she must be taking your class for mental health.

242. I assume you guys... talked about that, right?

243. - We have, uh, a lot, actually,

244. um, but who hasn't had a smidge of depression here and there?

245. - You know, I, I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't call it "a smidge."

246. You know, it almost makes it sound... cute.

247. - You're right. You're right.

248. I, I guess I was just tryin' to keep things light.

249. - You know what? Let me ask you something.

250. Uh, in this class of, um, healing energy,

251. uh, do they teach you how to force-feed someone toast

252. when they're unwilling to eat?

253. Or just to get dressed? How 'bout take a shower?

254. - Felix, stop it. - Okay.

255. Who's ready to get their cake cup on?

256. - Yeah.

257. - You have scrolled through "Critically Acclaimed Dark Danish Dramas"

258. about three times now.

259. Maybe we pick something.

260. - Um, yeah.

261. - See, that "yeah" sounds like we're gonna press play,

262. and then pause it 10 seconds later because you wanna "talk."

263. - It's just I thought I would hear from Lake.

264. I guess she's busy with Lucy.

265. - What's goin' on with you?

266. Are you jealous of Lucy? - No.

267. They've just gotten so close, so fast.

268. I mean, when, when she was dating Felix, she needed a girlfriend to talk about him.

269. But... with Lucy, her girlfriend is the girlfriend

270. to talk to you about her girlfriend.

271. Let's just watch a movie.

272. It's just we've been best friends since fourth grade.

273. - This is an Argentinian red that we, actually, discovered

274. while we were touring... the supermarket.

275. - Hey, uh, sorry it took me a minute to get ready.

276. - It's worth the wait. You clean up nice.

277. - Thanks. I'm not, usually, drenched in sweat

278. when people come over for a dinner party,

279. but it was kind of sprung on me last minute.

280. - Well, can I be honest?

281. My parents dragged me here kicking and screaming,

282. so. - Really?

283. - Yeah. - Uh, so, you didn't wanna come?

284. - The only thing they knew about you was that you were gay, so of course not.

285. I was offended on principle. - Yeah, same, same.

286. My mom is still new to the whole "supportive mother of a gay son" thing.

287. - Yeah.

288. - And, uh...

289. also, I've kinda just recently, um, been going through,

290. like, a pretty bad breakup,

291. and, um... - Hm.

292. - ... everyone's, like, pressuring me to move on,

293. but I just don't know if I'm ready to yet.

294. - Well, I don't know. Maybe, everyone's onto something.

295. Um... I have an idea... Watch this.

296. Oh, I'm, I'm such an idiot. Mom, I, I totally forgot to bring the pie.

297. - Oh, well, sweetie, we told the Salazars that we would bring dessert.

298. - I know, I know. I'm so sorry.

299. Um, I, I can just run out and go get another one.

300. - It's fine. I'm sure that I can find something.

301. - Please, Mrs. Salazar, my parents will never let me live this down.

302. Um, Victor, would you wanna come with?

303. - Uh, yeah, sure.

304. Bye.

305. - Is it okay if we get under the covers?

306. Um... I'm a little self-conscious about my thighs.

307. - Your thighs? I love your thighs.

308. Yeah, for me, it's my arms.

309. - Oh my god. Your arms are beautiful and swanlike.

310. Um.

311. - Is— Are you okay? - Yeah.

312. Yeah, I am just going to run to the bathroom,

313. so I won't have to get up later and kill the mood.

314. - Okay.

315. - Be right back.

316. - Rahim, I am so behind on calc right now, it's not even funny.

317. I really don't have time for some half-assed apology.

318. - Good... 'cause I'm not here to give you one.

319. But I did back-trace the username of the person who did post about you,

320. and it's that senior kid, Jonah.

321. Apparently, he had a cousin in rehab with you... so he's the asshole.

322. Except I— I did kiss your boyfriend at a wedding

323. when I thought you two were maybe over and for that, I'm very, very sorry.

324. - Got it.

325. Thanks.

326. - I'm not your enemy, Benji.

327. - Well, you're not my friend.

328. - So, uh... if we're not here to get a pie.

329. - You're wearing my face mask.

330. - Well, I thought, maybe, that I could fill in for Lake.

331. Be your girlfriend for tonight.

332. - Aww. Well, that's the sweetest thing any girlfriend has ever done for me.

333. - Hm.

334. - It's Lake. Uh, I could ignore it.

335. - No, take it. I'm gonna focus on my shrinking pores.

336. - Hey, uh, what's up?

337. - It was totally on, and I blew it.

338. Wh— Okay, okay. Slow down.

339. What happened? Is, is she still there?

340. - Yes, she's waiting for me in bed.

341. Everything was fine, and then the clothes started coming off and I panicked.

342. Mia, I don't know what I'm doing.

343. What if I'm... terrible at sex with her and screw everything up?

344. - Okay, all right. Breathe.

345. I'm no expert on queer sex,

346. but can I at least remind you of a piece of information

347. that you may have forgotten?

348. - Okay.

349. - You're a woman, and you know what you like. True?

350. - True. - Just start with that

351. and check in with her.

352. And if all else fails, you can do what I do with Andrew,

353. and kiss her on the cheek

354. and say, "Now you do whatever you want to me."

355. - That all makes perfect sense.

356. Thank god for you.

357. - Call me later and tell me how it goes, okay?

358. - Duh, bitch. I love you.

359. - Love you.

360. - It's not fair to your mom, Felix.

361. For... you trying to scare him away like that.

362. I know you're coming from a good place,

363. but... you're acting like my dad.

364. He's so overprotective,

365. and scared of anyone ever trying to hurt me

366. that he doesn't let me live my life.

367. And now, I'm forced to hide the best thing that's happened to me

368. in, probably, forever from him and it... it feels terrible.

369. - Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

370. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?

371. Little ol' me?

372. - Mmm, second best. That cake in a cup was really good.

373. But, you have to let your mom live, Felix.

374. Even if you're scared of her getting hurt.

375. And guess what? Things could work out.

376. - That was insane.

377. I've never done anything like that before.

378. Do I look okay?

379. - Yeah, um, better than this pie.

380. I think it got crushed in the backseat. - Great. Okay.

381. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

382. Your buttons are all screwed.

383. We have to go. - Yeah, yeah, let's go inside.

384. Take that. All right.

385. Hey. - Finally.

386. Everything go all right at the grocery store?

387. - Oh yeah.

388. - Uh, yeah, just took us a little while to find a pie.

389. - So, he's really cute and he's really nice,

390. and you can't be mad at me, right?

391. - We'll talk later.

392. You like him. You really like him.

393. - Just gimme some rice, please.

394. - Okay.

395. - Thank you. - Yeah.

396. Okay, I'm... dying to know. What did you think of him?

397. - I thought he was great. Yeah, no, I really, really liked him.

398. - Really? - Mm-hm.

399. - Oh, good.

400. Because you have no idea how rare it is to find a guy like this.

401. Oh my gosh. He's, like—

402. He's funny, but he doesn't know he's funny.

403. He's talkative, but he's also a good listener.

404. And he's smart. He's so, so, so, so, so smart, and he's kind.

405. He reminds me of you.

406. - You are just wonderful.

407. Good night, you guys. See you at church! - Have a great night.

408. - Ciao.

409. So... are you gonna see him again?

410. - Probably, yeah.

411. You got lucky, okay? I, I like him.

412. But really, Ma, y— you need to chill out.

413. Okay? The whole gay ally thing, the, the church, this set up.

414. It's just— It's too much. Okay?

415. - I'll just let you two talk.

416. - When you came out to us... I just stared at you.

417. I didn't hug you.

418. I didn't tell you that I would love you no matter what.

419. I just made your life hell for months.

420. I just feel like I have so much to make up for.

421. - Just be my mom.

422. Like, annoy me about my homework, or...

423. I don't know, ask me how I'm doing when I had a shitty day.

424. - How are you?

425. - Honestly, not too great.

426. I can't stop thinking about Benji.

427. And...

428. today, it came out that he went to rehab.

429. I know.

430. And all I wanna do is just be there for him,

431. but he won't even look at me.

432. And on the other hand,

433. hanging out with this... new, fun, cute guy

434. did feel really good.

435. - You know, Victor, even if it's meant to be with Benji,

436. doesn't mean that it's meant to be now.

437. Your father and I met when we were 16, and we were... so in love.

438. But who knows?

439. If we— If we had had the time to grow and stretch,

440. on our own, when we were younger,

441. then, maybe, we wouldn't have had to find out

442. who we are as single people when we're... 40 years old.

443. - Really, Ma? 40? - How dare you. So wrong.

444. - Morning.

445. I don't wanna interrupt, but I brought breakfast.

446. - Wait, why are you covering your eyes?

447. Just come in, weirdo.

448. - Not everybody has zero boundaries like you.

449. - Ooh, ooh, wow.

450. - So, I'm assuming things went pretty well last night.

451. - I should be thanking you.

452. I heard, um, you and Lake used to practice kissing in the seventh grade.

453. - We said "to the grave." - No, we promised not to tell any boys.

454. - Okay, fine. But it stays between the three of us.

455. - Hey. - Hm!

456. Cheers.

457. Oh, hey, Benji.

458. Uh, your tutor will be here any minute.

459. He's only a sophomore, but he's already taking AP Calc.

460. He's the best.

461. I'm really happy you reached out for extra help.

462. - Hi, Mr. Bumgarner. I'm here to meet the student that I'm

463. tutoring.

464. - Shit.

465. - Finally, something we can agree on.