Louie 3x13

Directed by Louis C.K.

Parker Posey as Liz

Louie struggles through the holidays.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Oh my gosh!

2. I got a tea set!

3. Ahh!

4. Oh!

5. Look, it's a blue monkey Santa brought me!

6. Aww, just like I asked him for!

7. Sir, I need a blue monkey.

8. I need a blue monkey.

9. Oh Daddy, look!

10. She's beautiful.

11. What the hell?

12. What the hell?

13. What happened to your eyes?

14. Jesus.

15. Come on, come on.

16. I got it, I got it.

17. I got it.

18. Okay...

19. Dammit.

20. Okay.

21. There's got to be another way through this.

22. Oh, shit.

23. Shit on my father's balls.

24. Shit!

25. Aww...

26. Aw, sweet Jesus.

27. Can you see?

28. You pretty, pretty, pretty...

29. Ha ha ha...

30. Oh!

31. Oh, come on.

32. Okay.

33. Oh shit!

34. Shit.

35. Look at the book Santa brought me.

36. That's actually from me.

37. Will you read it to me?

38. Sure, come over here.

39. "The Story About Ping."

40. That's Ping.

41. What a cute duck.

42. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young duck

43. "named Ping.

44. "Ping lived with his mother and his father

45. "and his two sisters and three brothers

46. "and 11 aunts and seven uncles and 42 cousins.

47. "Their home was a boat with two wise eyes

48. on the Yangtze River."

49. That's in China.

50. "Each morning as the sun rose from the east,

51. "Ping and his mother and his father

52. "and his sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles

53. "and his 42 cousins

54. "all marched one by one down the little bridge

55. "to the shore of the Yangtze River."

56. It looks like it's so nice to live on that river.

57. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

58. Mom! Mommy!

59. Hi.

60. Hey. Hey.

61. Hi. Hi.

62. Merry Christmas.

63. How are you, Patrick? Heya, man.

64. Hi.

65. Come see what Santa brought!

66. Okay.

67. Can I get something to drink or something?

68. Oh, no, I'm good... thanks.

69. Okay.

70. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, I just—

71. I don't want to be late for an international flight.

72. Yeah, that's okay.

73. When are you all returning?

74. January 14th.

75. I have all their schoolwork

76. and I'm in touch with their teachers.

77. Okay.

78. Can you have them call me,

79. maybe send me pictures if you take any?

80. Of course.

81. Thank you.

82. So is it like a no-go with the Letterman thing?

83. Oh, yeah, no.

84. Yeah, that's not—

85. Not— Did not—

86. Did not get that.

87. That's—

88. Anyway.

89. Merry Christmas.

90. Thanks.

91. You too.

92. How's it going?

93. It's going.

94. Okay.

95. Hello?

96. Hey, big brother. Merry Christmas.

97. Hey... Hi.

98. Were you sleeping?

99. Uh, yeah, I guess so.

100. Bubba, it's 3:00 in the afternoon. You okay?

101. I'm fine.

102. Are you all by yourself?

103. Well, do you have to say "all"?

104. I mean, can I just be by myself?

105. The kids are with Janet?

106. Yeah, for two weeks.

107. What are you doing for New Year's?

108. This.

109. Ugh, Louie, come on, don't do that.

110. I'm doing it.

111. Louie, I don't want you to be alone for New Year's.

112. Louie.

113. Debbie, I'm fine.

114. Happy new year, merry Christmas, I'm fine.

115. Listen, we are taking the kids to Mexico for New Year's.

116. We're going to visit Abuelita

117. and we're just gonna relax.

118. I think you should come with us.

119. Ah... Debbie.

120. Doug bought you a ticket, okay?

121. All you have to do— Debbie—

122. I don't want you to be by yourself.

123. Doug is being really nice right now.

124. Is that your brother? Mm-hmm.

125. Give me that.

126. Yo. Is this Funnyman?

127. Hey Doug, how you doing?

128. Funnyman, listen up.

129. We're taking the kids down to Mexico to see your Abuelita.

130. We are staying at the Casa Grande Hotel.

131. It's got a heated pool, hot wings on tap.

132. Now, I got you first-class ticket out of that

133. left wing Kennedy Airport?

134. And you must come, I will not take no for an answer.

135. Doug, listen, that's really nice of you, but I—

136. Good!

137. We'll see you there.

138. Bye.

139. Hi. Hi.

140. Debbie, listen, I really—

141. I can't do it, I can't.

142. Well, I really hope you do.

143. And if you don't... Happy New Year.

144. Happy New Year to you, too.

145. I love you, Louie.

146. You know that.

147. Yeah, I know... I—

148. Okay, bye.

149. Muah!

150. Uhh...

151. Coming up, the story of an unusual Christmas gift

152. received anonymously by a local woman.

153. That's right, Jeff.

154. Anna Davis didn't even know

155. that her neighbors were gay men.

156. Jim Callosonoponocco

157. is live on the scene with these report.

158. Lily.

159. Hi, Jane!

160. Hi!

161. Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you.

162. I know, we're grown-ups.

163. Wow, we're like—

164. Probably in our 20s.

165. Probably... What do you do?

166. Um, I have, like, a career-y thing and—

167. Wow!

168. I work and—

169. I'm probably an artist.

170. Oh, my gosh.

171. And hopefully, it's going well.

172. Have you seen Daddy lately?

173. Well, I saw him in April. What about you?

174. I'm gonna see him for his birthday.

175. How is he?

176. Oh, boy.

177. Not so good.

178. I mean, he's so alone.

179. I know, it's depressing.

180. He just sits there in his place and doesn't do anything.

181. He doesn't see anybody.

182. I know.

183. And now it's too late for him to even find someone.

184. All he does is sit in that big old chair

185. and eat pinwheel cookies.

186. It's so sad.

187. He is all alone.

188. Just alone and not with anybody.

189. It's so sad that he's alone.

190. I hate that he's alone.

191. Always alone.

192. Why didn't he try harder to be less alone?

193. Yeah.

194. How are we gonna know when we get to be this age

195. not to be alone?

196. Yeah.

197. We're probably kind of up

198. from having that kind of a dad.

199. Well, it's New Year's Eve, of course that means

200. people partying, carrying on, sharing,

201. but it's also a very busy time at crisis centers.

202. That's right, Trisha.

203. Statistics show that New Year's Eve is when folks

204. are most likely to commit suicide.

205. More than 500 New Yorkers are expected

206. to take their own lives tonight,

207. especially those who are spending New Year's Eve

208. by themselves.

209. All by themselves.

210. Alone with no one near your body.

211. Go ahead and put that gun in your mouth.

212. Ahh!

213. Ahhh!

214. Do you need a seat?

215. Here you go.

216. Louie!

217. Liz?

218. Oh, my God.

219. Oh, my God, it's you.

220. Hey! Hey!

221. Hey! Hey! Hey!

222. Uh, she had cancer when she was a teenager.

223. Well, whatever it is, it is coming back aggressively.

224. Has she been in treatment?

225. Has she been having any symptoms?

226. I don't know, I—

227. Are you in touch with her family?

228. Because we're running tests,

229. but I gotta figure out what this is.

230. Pressure's dropping!

231. Give her an amp with that thing.

232. Go ahead. Jesus, am I dying?

233. Am I dying?

234. Uh... I don't know.

235. I'm not ready for this.

236. This is crazy.

237. You're gonna be okay.

238. You're gonna be all right.

239. I don't think so.

240. Oh, Louie.

241. Yeah?

242. Bye.

243. Okay, she's arresting.

244. Here, ampul her.

245. Paddles, paddles.

246. Put it on 100 joules.

247. Give me some gel.

248. Here.

249. Okay, let's go.

250. Clear!

251. No response.

252. Okay, let's call it.

253. 11:59 p.m.

254. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!

255. five, four, three, two, one!

256. Happy New Year!

257. Woo!

258. Happy New Year to you, guys!

259. Sir, can you—

260. I'm looking for the Yangtze River.

261. Yangtze River?

262. Yangtze River.

263. Yangtze River.

264. Oh...

265. Yangtze River. Please go away.

266. Yangtze River.

267. River.

268. River?

269. Yangtze— Yeah.

270. River, Yangtze River.

271. Excuse me.

272. I'm looking for the Yangtze River.

273. Yangtze— The river.

274. Like, with ducks?

275. Yangtze. Jiangha?

276. Say—? Jiangha?

277. Jianhga. Jianhga.

278. Jiangha, yeah.

279. Jiangha.

280. Jiangha.

281. Jiangha?

282. Yangtze River.

283. That's it?

284. Okay.

285. Hi.

286. Hi.

287. Hello.

288. Oh, okay.

289. Inside?

290. Okay.

291. Oh, Okay.

292. Oh, thank you.

293. Oh, thank you.

294. Oh, thank you, thank you very much.

295. Hey. Yeah.

296. What... I don't under—

297. Migua. Migua?

298. Yingua. Yingua?

299. Fagua. Fagua.

300. Fagua?

301. Wait, slow down.

302. Ching chung.

303. Ching hong! Ching hong.

304. Tai Beijing. Tai Beijing.

305. Dao wa ja.

306. Dao wa ja.

307. Rai. Rai.

308. Do ka. Do ka!