1. On my way down to coordinate
search and rescue.Copy !req
2. On my way down to coordinate
search and rescue.Copy !req
3. I mean, honestly,
how do you keep your food down?Copy !req
4. Shut up.Copy !req
5. - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, hey. Buddy!Copy !req
6. What do you think?
Maximum occupancy has been reached.Copy !req
7. - (HULK GROWLS)
- 2012 THOR: Take the stairs.Copy !req
8. - 2012 STARK: Yeah. Stop, stop.
- (LOUD THUD)Copy !req
9. Hand over the case, Stark.Copy !req
10. - Hand it over.
- (2012 STARK STUTTERS)Copy !req
11. Stark?
2012 THOR: Stark?Copy !req
12. Breathe, breathe.Copy !req
13. Good job. Meet me in the alley.
I'm gonna grab a quick slice.Copy !req
14. No stairs!Copy !req
15. 2012 THOR: Where's Loki?Copy !req
16. Loki! Loki!Copy !req
17. I am Loki of Asgard.Copy !req
18. And I am burdened with glorious purpose.Copy !req
19. (IN ENGLISH) I...Copy !req
20. Never mind.Copy !req
21. Don't touch that.Copy !req
22. Appears to be
a standard sequence violation.Copy !req
23. Branch is growing
at a stable rate and slope.Copy !req
24. Variant identified.Copy !req
25. I beg your pardon.Copy !req
26. On behalf of the Time Variance Authority,Copy !req
27. I hereby arrest you
for crimes against the Sacred Timeline.Copy !req
28. Hands up.Copy !req
29. - (WEAPONS POWERING)
- You're coming with us.Copy !req
30. I'm sorry. Who's "us"?Copy !req
31. Last chance, Variant.Copy !req
32. It's been a very long day,Copy !req
33. and I think I've had my fill of idiots
in armored suits telling me what to do,Copy !req
34. so, if you don't mind,
this is actually your last chance.Copy !req
35. Now get out of my way.Copy !req
36. You are now moving at 1/16th speed,Copy !req
37. but feeling all that pain in real time.Copy !req
38. Reset the timeline.Copy !req
39. What species?
Variant Skrull.Copy !req
40. What is this place?Copy !req
41. My dad is on the board of Goldman Sachs.Copy !req
42. One call and your whole job is privatized.Copy !req
43. All right.
How'd you like that?Copy !req
44. Hello, sir.Copy !req
45. Come on.
- You're making a terrible mistake.Copy !req
46. You're making a big mistake. Whoa!Copy !req
47. - Hello, ma'am, uh...
Log this as evidence.Copy !req
48. Oh...Copy !req
49. Can you at least tell me what it is?Copy !req
50. It's the Tesseract.
Be very careful with it.Copy !req
51. It sounds dumb.Copy !req
52. Know this.Copy !req
53. You cross me,
there are deadly consequences.Copy !req
54. We'll see.Copy !req
55. Hey, hey!Copy !req
56. Absolutely not.Copy !req
57. This is fine Asgardian leather.Copy !req
58. Hold very still.Copy !req
59. (STUTTERS) Now, hang on just a minute.Copy !req
60. Please sign to verify
this is everything you've ever said.Copy !req
61. What?Copy !req
62. Sign this, too.Copy !req
63. Oh, this is absurd.Copy !req
64. And this.Copy !req
65. Please confirm to your knowledge
that you are not a fully robotic being,Copy !req
66. were born an organic creature,Copy !req
67. and do in fact possess
what many cultures would call a soul.Copy !req
68. What? "To my knowledge"?Copy !req
69. Do a lot of people not know
if they're robots?Copy !req
70. Thank you for confirming. Move through.Copy !req
71. What if I was a robot
and I didn't know it?Copy !req
72. The machine would melt you
from the inside out.Copy !req
73. Please move along, sir.Copy !req
74. Okay, I'm not a robot, so I'll be fine.Copy !req
75. What?Copy !req
76. Oh, what's that?
- Your temporal aura.Copy !req
77. - What's that?
- Please, through the door.Copy !req
78. Take a ticket.Copy !req
79. What is this, a deli? No.Copy !req
80. Take a ticket.Copy !req
81. There's only two of us in here.Copy !req
82. Take a ticket.Copy !req
83. This is a mistake! I shouldn't be here!Copy !req
84. (FEMALE VOICE OVER PA)
Hey there! You're probably saying,Copy !req
85. "This is a mistake.
I shouldn't even be here."Copy !req
86. Welcome to the Time Variance Authority.Copy !req
87. I'm Miss Minutes,Copy !req
88. and it's my job to catch you up
before you stand trial for your crimes.Copy !req
89. So let's not waste another minute.Copy !req
90. Settle in, sharpen your pencils,
and check this out.Copy !req
91. Long ago, there was
a vast multiversal war.Copy !req
92. Countless unique timelines
battled each other for supremacy,Copy !req
93. nearly resulting
in the total destruction of...Copy !req
94. - (EXPLOSION)
- ... well, everything.Copy !req
95. But then, the all-knowing
Time-Keepers emerged,Copy !req
96. bringing peace by reorganizing
the multiverse into a single timeline,Copy !req
97. the Sacred Timeline.Copy !req
98. Now, the Time-Keepers protect and preserve
the proper flow of timeCopy !req
99. for everyone and everything.Copy !req
100. But sometimes, people like you veer off
the path the Time-Keepers created.Copy !req
101. We call those Variants.Copy !req
102. Maybe you started an uprising,
or were just late for work.Copy !req
103. Whatever it was, stepping off your path
created a nexus event,Copy !req
104. which, left unchecked,
could branch off into madness,Copy !req
105. - leading to another multiversal war.
- (BEEPING)Copy !req
106. But, don't worry,Copy !req
107. to make sure that doesn't happen,Copy !req
108. the Time-Keepers created
the TVA and all its incredible workers.Copy !req
109. The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistakeCopy !req
110. and set time back
on its predetermined path.Copy !req
111. Now that your actions have left you
without a place on the timeline,Copy !req
112. you must stand trial for your offenses.Copy !req
113. So sit tight, and we'll get you
in front of a judge in no time.Copy !req
114. Just make sure you have your ticket,Copy !req
115. and you'll be seen
by the next available attendant.Copy !req
116. - For all time.
Always.Copy !req
117. Time-Keepers? The Sacred Timeline?Copy !req
118. Who actually believes this bunkum?Copy !req
119. Ticket, sir?
- He didn't give me a ticket. I asked.Copy !req
120. - Ticket, sir!
- I tried to ask that guy for a ticket!Copy !req
121. Sir...Copy !req
122. What, you're raising
your voice at me, bucket head?Copy !req
123. Thanks for visiting the TVA.Copy !req
124. Don't hesitate
to let us know how we're doing.Copy !req
125. The hunter and his Minutemen
responded to a routine nexus event.Copy !req
126. It appears that when they arrived,
somebody got the jump on 'em.Copy !req
127. You think?Copy !req
128. It's him.Copy !req
129. Yeah, stab wounds look
consistent with the others.Copy !req
130. Positioning of the bodies indicates
they didn't know what the hell hit 'em.Copy !req
131. And reset charge is gone.Copy !req
132. That's the sixth attack in the last week.Copy !req
133. That we know of.Copy !req
134. - Hey!
- Wait, stand down! Stand down.Copy !req
135. It's just a kid.Copy !req
136. (IN ENGLISH) Hey, yo!Copy !req
137. (IN ENGLISH) Tap it.Copy !req
138. (IN ENGLISH) Don't worry,
that devil's afraid of us.Copy !req
139. We're gonna take care of him.Copy !req
140. And we're gonna put you
back where you belong.Copy !req
141. (IN ENGLISH) Devil bearing gifts.Copy !req
142. Go ahead and run this for sequence period
and any hints of temporal aura.Copy !req
143. You know we won't get anything.Copy !req
144. Yeah, just give it a shot.Copy !req
145. The branch
is nearing red line. We need to go.Copy !req
146. Okay.Copy !req
147. (IN ENGLISH) It's okay.Copy !req
148. Set a reset charge.Copy !req
149. Sir, there's something you'll wanna see.Copy !req
150. - (GAVEL BANGS)
Next case, please.Copy !req
151. Laufeyson. Variant L1130,
AKA Loki Laufeyson,Copy !req
152. is charged with
sequence violation 7-20-89.Copy !req
153. How do you plead?Copy !req
154. Madam, a god doesn't plead.Copy !req
155. This has been a very enjoyable pantomime,
but I'd like to go home now.Copy !req
156. Are you guilty or not guilty, sir?Copy !req
157. (SCOFFS) Guilty of being
the God of Mischief? Yes.Copy !req
158. Guilty of finding
all this incredibly tedious? Yes.Copy !req
159. Guilty of a crime
against the Sacred Timeline?Copy !req
160. Absolutely not, you have the wrong person.Copy !req
161. Oh, really? And who should we have?Copy !req
162. I suspect, the Avengers.Copy !req
163. I came into possession of the Tesseract
because they traveled through time,Copy !req
164. no doubt in a last-ditch effort
to stave off my ascent to God King.Copy !req
165. That's quite an accusation.Copy !req
166. Oh, believe me, you can smell
the cologne of two Tony Starks.Copy !req
167. You speak of Time Criminals?
It's they you should be after.Copy !req
168. Perhaps you could provide me
with a taskforce and resources,Copy !req
169. and I could return
and eliminate them for you.Copy !req
170. We're not here to talk about the Avengers.Copy !req
171. - Oh, no?
- No.Copy !req
172. What they did was supposed to happen.
You escaping was not.Copy !req
173. Right. Uh...Copy !req
174. "Not supposed to happen"?
According to whom?Copy !req
175. The Time-Keepers?Copy !req
176. Oh, the Time-Keepers. Right.Copy !req
177. Well, perhaps I should speak
to these Time-Keepers, gods to gods.Copy !req
178. I'm sorry, but they're quite busy.Copy !req
179. Oh, they are? What are they doing?Copy !req
180. Dictating the proper flow of time.Copy !req
181. I see. Right. And then what do you do?Copy !req
182. Dictate the proper flow of time
according to their dictations.Copy !req
183. How do you plead?Copy !req
184. Guilty...Copy !req
185. of this.Copy !req
186. - What's going on?
Hang on. Everyone quiet.Copy !req
187. - He's trying to use his powers, ma'am.
- Don't rush me. (GRUNTS)Copy !req
188. Damn it! Why won't it work?Copy !req
189. Magic powers?
They're no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson.Copy !req
190. The court finds you guilty,
and I sentence you to be reset.Copy !req
191. Next case, please!Copy !req
192. "Reset"? What does that mean?
What, is it bad? What does it mean?Copy !req
193. Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats
will not dictate how my story ends!Copy !req
194. It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson.
It never was.Copy !req
195. You have no idea what I'm capable of!Copy !req
196. I... I think I might.Copy !req
197. Have an idea of what he's capable of.Copy !req
198. Approach the bench.Copy !req
199. (SOFTLY) Hi.Copy !req
200. If you're thinking what I think you are,
it's a bad idea.Copy !req
201. Okay, I'm just chasing a hunch.Copy !req
202. Anything goes sideways, it's on you.Copy !req
203. Okay. I feel like
I'm always looking up to you.Copy !req
204. I like it. It's appropriate.Copy !req
205. And who are you?Copy !req
206. I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.Copy !req
207. I'll show you where my desk is,
you can start there.Copy !req
208. Have a look.Copy !req
209. Home sweet home.Copy !req
210. I thought there was no magic here.Copy !req
211. There isn't.Copy !req
212. That's not real.Copy !req
213. It is, and, unfortunately,
so is all the paperwork.Copy !req
214. Good tinder for your fire, though.
Come on.Copy !req
215. This place is a nightmare.Copy !req
216. That's another department.Copy !req
217. Now that department
I'll help you burn down.Copy !req
218. I'm Agent Mobius, by the way.Copy !req
219. Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?Copy !req
220. No. That's where you just were.
I'm taking you some place to talk.Copy !req
221. I don't like to talk.Copy !req
222. But you do like to lie,
which you just did.Copy !req
223. Because we both know you love to talk.Copy !req
224. Talkie-talkie.Copy !req
225. How long have you been here?Copy !req
226. (SIGHS) I don't know. It's hard to say,
time passes differently here in the TVA.Copy !req
227. - What does that mean?
- You'll catch up.Copy !req
228. So, you're part of the TVA's
courageous and dedicated workforce?Copy !req
229. Yes.Copy !req
230. - You were created by the Time-Keepers.
- Yep.Copy !req
231. - To protect the Sacred Timeline.
- Correct.Copy !req
232. Is that funny?Copy !req
233. The idea that your little club
decides the fate of trillions of peopleCopy !req
234. across all of existence
at the behest of three space lizards,Copy !req
235. yes, it's funny.Copy !req
236. It's absurd.Copy !req
237. I thought you didn't like to talk.Copy !req
238. After you.Copy !req
239. For the record, this really does feel
like a killing-me kind of a room.Copy !req
240. Not big on trust, are you?Copy !req
241. Trust is for children and dogs.Copy !req
242. There's only one person you can trust.Copy !req
243. Yourself? I like it.Copy !req
244. Slap it on a T-shirt.Copy !req
245. If the TVA truly oversees all of time,Copy !req
246. how have I never heard of you until now?Copy !req
247. 'Cause you've never needed to.Copy !req
248. You've always lived within your set path.Copy !req
249. I live within whatever path I choose.Copy !req
250. Sure you do.
Okay, come have a seat.Copy !req
251. I told you,
time moves differently in the TVA.Copy !req
252. Come on, sit down.Copy !req
253. Let's get into this.Copy !req
254. Go on, have a seat.Copy !req
255. If looks could kill.Copy !req
256. What do you want from me?Copy !req
257. (INHALES) Well, let's start
with a little cooperation.Copy !req
258. Not my forte.Copy !req
259. Really?Copy !req
260. Even when you're wooing
someone powerful you intend to betray?Copy !req
261. Come on.Copy !req
262. You don't know anything about me.Copy !req
263. Maybe I'd like to learn.Copy !req
264. I specialize in the pursuit
of dangerous Variants.Copy !req
265. Like myself?Copy !req
266. Mmm...Copy !req
267. No, particularly dangerous Variants.Copy !req
268. You're just a little pussycat.Copy !req
269. I got a set of questions for you.Copy !req
270. You answer them honestly,Copy !req
271. and then maybe
I can give you something you want.Copy !req
272. You wanna get out of here, right?Copy !req
273. Yeah, so we'll start there.Copy !req
274. Should you return, what are you gonna do?Copy !req
275. - Finish what I started.
- Which is?Copy !req
276. Claim my throne.Copy !req
277. You wanna be king?Copy !req
278. I don't want to be, I was born to be.Copy !req
279. I know, but king of what exactly?Copy !req
280. You wouldn't understand.Copy !req
281. Try me.Copy !req
282. Midgard.Copy !req
283. AKA Earth.Copy !req
284. All right. Now you're the king of Midgard,
then what?Copy !req
285. Happily ever after?Copy !req
286. Asgard, the Nine Realms.Copy !req
287. - Space?
- Space?Copy !req
288. Space is big.
That'd be a nice feather in your cap.Copy !req
289. "Loki, the King of Space."Copy !req
290. Mock me if you dare.Copy !req
291. No, I'm not. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
292. Honestly, I'm actually a fan. Yeah.Copy !req
293. And I guess I'm wondering why does someone
with so much range just wanna rule?Copy !req
294. I would've made it easy for them.Copy !req
295. People like easy.Copy !req
296. The first
and most oppressive lie ever utteredCopy !req
297. was the song of freedom.Copy !req
298. How's that one go?Copy !req
299. For nearly every living thing,Copy !req
300. choice breeds shame
and uncertainty and regret.Copy !req
301. There's a fork in every road,Copy !req
302. yet the wrong path always taken.Copy !req
303. Good. Yeah.Copy !req
304. You said "nearly every living thing,"Copy !req
305. so I'm guessing
you don't fall into that category?Copy !req
306. The Time-Keepers
have built quite the circus,Copy !req
307. and I see the clowns are playing
their parts to perfection.Copy !req
308. Big metaphor guy. I love it.Copy !req
309. Makes you sound super smart.Copy !req
310. I am smart.Copy !req
311. I know.Copy !req
312. Okay.Copy !req
313. Okay.Copy !req
314. (SCOFFS) What is this?Copy !req
315. A sampling of your greatest hits,
if I may.Copy !req
316. (OVER VIDEO)
If it's all the same to you...Copy !req
317. I'll have that drink now.Copy !req
318. No.Copy !req
319. And I remember. I was there.
Anything else?Copy !req
320. It's funny, for someone born to rule,
you sure do lose a lot.Copy !req
321. You might even say it's in your nature.Copy !req
322. You know, things didn't turn out so well
for the last person who said that to me.Copy !req
323. Oh, yeah, Phil Coulson.Copy !req
324. No!Copy !req
325. Didn't the Avengers come together
to literally avenge him by defeating you?Copy !req
326. Little solace to a dead man.Copy !req
327. Do you enjoy hurting people?Copy !req
328. Making them feel small?Copy !req
329. Making them feel afraid?Copy !req
330. - Your games don't frighten me.
- Making them feel little?Copy !req
331. I know what I am.Copy !req
332. - A murderer?
- A liberator.Copy !req
333. Of eyeballs, maybe.Copy !req
334. Look at that smile.
You are enjoying that.Copy !req
335. Did you enjoy hurting them?Copy !req
336. I don't have to play this game. I'm a god.Copy !req
337. Of what, again? Mischief, right?Copy !req
338. Yeah. I don't see anything
very mischievous about this.Copy !req
339. No, I don't suppose you do.Copy !req
340. Let's talk about your escapes.Copy !req
341. You're really good at doing awful things,
and then just getting away.Copy !req
342. What can I say? I'm a mischievous scamp.Copy !req
343. This is one of my favorites.Copy !req
344. (OVER PA) From the flight deck,
Captain William A. Scott,Copy !req
345. Northwest Orient Airlines 305,
on schedule to land in Seattle.Copy !req
346. Flight time today, approximately...Copy !req
347. Bourbon and soda?Copy !req
348. Thank you.Copy !req
349. Absolutely.Copy !req
350. Is there anything else
I can do for you, sir?Copy !req
351. I suppose we'll find out, won't we?Copy !req
352. - Uh, Miss?
- Yes, Mr. Cooper?Copy !req
353. You might want to take a look
at that note.Copy !req
354. (WHISPERS) I have a bomb.Copy !req
355. I fail to see how this has
any relevance or bearing on...Copy !req
356. (SHUSHES) No. This is the good part.Copy !req
357. See you again someday.Copy !req
358. (GRUNTS) Brother,
Heimdall, you better be ready.Copy !req
359. I can't believe you were D.B. Cooper.
Come on!Copy !req
360. I was young, and I lost a bet to Thor.Copy !req
361. Where was the TVA when I was meddling
with these affairs of men?Copy !req
362. We were right there with you,
just surfing that Sacred Timeline.Copy !req
363. So that had the Time-Keepers'
seal of approval, did it?Copy !req
364. Well, I wouldn't think of it
in terms of approval and disapproval.Copy !req
365. That's sort of a...Copy !req
366. Let's get back to escapes...Copy !req
367. - (SIGHS)
- ... and a little psychobabble.Copy !req
368. What is it that you think
that you're really running from?Copy !req
369. Enough.Copy !req
370. Back in your cage.Copy !req
371. See, I can play the heavy keys, too.Copy !req
372. I was just standing up to make a point.Copy !req
373. (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, go ahead.Copy !req
374. It won't be as meaningful now.Copy !req
375. Okay, well, stay seated.Copy !req
376. I'll do what I want to do!Copy !req
377. Sure.Copy !req
378. What exactly is it that you want?Copy !req
379. I want you to be honest
about why you do what you do.Copy !req
380. Liar.Copy !req
381. I'm serious.Copy !req
382. All I seek is a deeper understanding
of the fearsome God of Mischief.Copy !req
383. - (LOKI SCOFFS)
- What makes Loki tick?Copy !req
384. - I know what this place is.
- What is it?Copy !req
385. It's an illusion.Copy !req
386. It's a cruel, elaborate trick
conjured by the weak to inspire fear.Copy !req
387. A desperate attempt at control.Copy !req
388. Now, you all parade aboutCopy !req
389. as if you're the divine arbiters
of power in the universe.Copy !req
390. - We are.
- You're not.Copy !req
391. My choices are my own.Copy !req
392. Your choice is your own.
Good, let's go with that.Copy !req
393. I think this one's gonna fire you up.Copy !req
394. The bright lure of freedom
diminishes your life's joyCopy !req
395. in a mad scramble for power...Copy !req
396. Precisely.Copy !req
397. I was...Copy !req
398. I am on the verge of acquiring
everything I am owed,Copy !req
399. and when I do, it'll be because I did it.Copy !req
400. Not because it was supposed to happen.Copy !req
401. Or because you
or the Time Variance Authority,Copy !req
402. or whatever it is you call yourselves,
allowed me to.Copy !req
403. Honestly, you're pathetic.Copy !req
404. You're an irrelevance.Copy !req
405. A detour.Copy !req
406. A footnote to my ascent.Copy !req
407. You finished?Copy !req
408. You're gonna start
taking things seriously.Copy !req
409. - (GROANS)
- If you hadn't picked up the Tesseract,Copy !req
410. you would have been
taken to a cell on Asgard.Copy !req
411. Loki.Copy !req
412. (OVER VIDEO) Hello, Mother.Copy !req
413. Have I made you proud?Copy !req
414. Please don't make this worse.Copy !req
415. What is this?Copy !req
416. This is nonsense, more tricks.
This never even happened.Copy !req
417. Not to you.Copy !req
418. Not yet.Copy !req
419. Look, the TVA doesn't just know
your whole past,Copy !req
420. we know your whole life,
how it's all meant to be.Copy !req
421. Think of it as comforting.Copy !req
422. This is absurd.Copy !req
423. And am I not your mother?Copy !req
424. You're not.Copy !req
425. Hmm.Copy !req
426. Always so perceptive
about everyone but yourself.Copy !req
427. And then the Dark Elves
attack the palace,Copy !req
428. and you think you send them to Thor.Copy !req
429. You might wanna
take the stairs to the left.Copy !req
430. But instead, you send them...Copy !req
431. I'll never tell.Copy !req
432. Where do you have her? Where is she?Copy !req
433. You lead them right to her.Copy !req
434. I don't believe you.
You're lying. It's not true.Copy !req
435. It is true.Copy !req
436. That's the proper flow of time,Copy !req
437. and it happens again and again and again
because it's supposed to,Copy !req
438. because it has to.Copy !req
439. - The TVA makes sure of it.
- Where is she?Copy !req
440. Now why don't you tell me,
do you enjoy hurting people?Copy !req
441. - I don't believe you.
- Do you enjoy killing?Copy !req
442. - I'll kill you.
- Like you did your mother?Copy !req
443. Sorry, the Time Twister just loops you,
not the furniture.Copy !req
444. You weren't born to be king, Loki.Copy !req
445. You were born to cause
pain and suffering and death.Copy !req
446. That's how it is, that's how it was,
that's how it will be.Copy !req
447. All so that others can achieve
their best versions of themselves.Copy !req
448. What is this place?Copy !req
449. Come on.Copy !req
450. What are you doing?Copy !req
451. My job. Is it yours to interrupt?Copy !req
452. We have a situation.Copy !req
453. (SIGHS) There's always a situation.Copy !req
454. Don't go anywhere.Copy !req
455. It was just getting good. Spirited.Copy !req
456. - Talking to that Variant is a mistake.
- That's your position.Copy !req
457. He should be reset!Copy !req
458. You think everyone should be reset.
I'm getting good stuff!Copy !req
459. We lost another unit.Copy !req
460. Okay, Loki, I think we can
finish up tomorrow and just pick it...Copy !req
461. Mischievous scamp.Copy !req
462. Wish I could say I was surprised.Copy !req
463. - Yeah, I wish you hadn't interrupted us.
- Me? It's my fault?Copy !req
464. Look, he can't have gotten very far.Copy !req
465. Split up. Prune on sight.Copy !req
466. No, no pruning, no resetting.
He can still help us!Copy !req
467. (WHISPERS) Hey.Copy !req
468. Hey. I know you.Copy !req
469. - You're that criminal with the blue box.
- (SHUSHES)Copy !req
470. - Ow.
- What's your name?Copy !req
471. Casey.Copy !req
472. Give me the Tesseract,
or I'll gut you like a fish, Casey.Copy !req
473. - What's a fish?
- (SHUSHES)Copy !req
474. (WHISPERS) What's a fish?Copy !req
475. How do you not know what a fish is?Copy !req
476. I've lived my entire life behind a desk.Copy !req
477. Well, what difference does it make?Copy !req
478. I wanna know exactly what I'm being
threatened with before I comply.Copy !req
479. Death, Casey. Violent, painful death.Copy !req
480. Okay, okay. I comply, I comply.Copy !req
481. I comply. Jeez!Copy !req
482. Um... Oh.Copy !req
483. This it?
- (SIGHS)Copy !req
484. What?Copy !req
485. Infinity Stones?Copy !req
486. How...Copy !req
487. How do you have these?Copy !req
488. Oh, We actually get a lot of those.Copy !req
489. Yeah. Some of the guys
use them as paperweights.Copy !req
490. Some of 'em.Copy !req
491. Is this the greatest power
in the universe?Copy !req
492. Oh, you almost hit me!Copy !req
493. That's so messed up.Copy !req
494. Split up.
Check the lower concourse.Copy !req
495. I do not forgive you.Copy !req
496. I love you, my sons.Copy !req
497. Remember this place.Copy !req
498. Home.Copy !req
499. Loki, I thought the world of you.Copy !req
500. I thought we were gonna fight
side by side forever.Copy !req
501. Maybe you're not so bad after all,
brother.Copy !req
502. Maybe not.Copy !req
503. Thank you.Copy !req
504. If you were here,
I might even give you a hug.Copy !req
505. I'm here.Copy !req
506. Undying?Copy !req
507. You should choose
your words more carefully.Copy !req
508. (STRAINING) You...Copy !req
509. will never be...Copy !req
510. a god.Copy !req
511. What's so funny?Copy !req
512. Glorious purpose.Copy !req
513. Stop...Copy !req
514. It.Copy !req
515. Stop it!Copy !req
516. St... Stop it...Copy !req
517. It... Stop it...Copy !req
518. Stop... I... St... Sto... St...Copy !req
519. And this guy kept saying
he was gonna turn me into a fish,Copy !req
520. whatever that is,Copy !req
521. and then they show up
and just prune my cart,Copy !req
522. so there was nothing I could have done.Copy !req
523. Hey, there you are.Copy !req
524. You know, that Variant you had got away.Copy !req
525. Loki?Copy !req
526. Nowhere left to run.Copy !req
527. I can't go back, can I?Copy !req
528. Back to my timeline.Copy !req
529. I don't enjoy hurting people.Copy !req
530. I... (SIGHS)Copy !req
531. I don't enjoy it.Copy !req
532. I do it because I have to,Copy !req
533. because I've had to.Copy !req
534. Okay, explain that to me.Copy !req
535. Because it's part of the illusion.Copy !req
536. It's the cruel, elaborate trick
conjured by the weak to inspire fear.Copy !req
537. A desperate play for control.Copy !req
538. You do know yourself.Copy !req
539. A villain. (SIGHS)Copy !req
540. That's not how I see it.Copy !req
541. You try to use that?Copy !req
542. Oh, several times.Copy !req
543. Even an Infinity Stone is useless here.Copy !req
544. The TVA is formidable.Copy !req
545. That's been my experience.Copy !req
546. Listen, I can't offer you salvation,Copy !req
547. but maybe I can offer you
something better.Copy !req
548. A fugitive Variant's been killing
our Minutemen.Copy !req
549. And you need the God of Mischief
to help you stop him?Copy !req
550. That's right.Copy !req
551. Why me?Copy !req
552. The Variant we're hunting is...Copy !req
553. you.Copy !req
554. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
555. Time signature
is early third millennium.Copy !req
556. Definitely anachronistic.Copy !req
557. Oil.Copy !req
558. I think some jackass found himself
a time machine,Copy !req
559. came back here to get rich.Copy !req
560. Should we fan out and look for him, sir?Copy !req
561. Nah. It's not worth the paperwork.Copy !req
562. Just prune it. Let's bail. Set a charge.Copy !req
563. Wait. Someone's out there.Copy !req
564. Check it out.Copy !req
565. Get down!Copy !req
566. Thanks for visiting the TVA.Copy !req
567. Don't hesitate
to let us know how we're doing.Copy !req