1. Welcome to Limmy's Show.Copy !req
2. But this is a Limmy's Show like no other, because thisCopy !req
3. is Limmy's Show Live.Copy !req
4. That's right, we are live right now,Copy !req
5. so as well as all your favouriteCopy !req
6. pre-recorded sketchesCopy !req
7. like Dee Dee and Jacqueline,Copy !req
8. we're going to be trying out a live sketchCopy !req
9. for you this evening.Copy !req
10. There's all the cast and crew getting things ready.Copy !req
11. There's Paul, Alan and KirstinCopy !req
12. going over their lines.Copy !req
13. Youse all setCopy !req
14. Well, they're ready for their closeCopy !req
15. That's right, we could be going live into your livingCopy !req
16. room tonight.Copy !req
17. Tonight, the star of the show could be you!Copy !req
18. And we've got some other goodies lined upCopy !req
19. for you this evening,Copy !req
20. so stay tuned. And remember: it's live telly.Copy !req
21. Anything can happen!Copy !req
22. Well in the name of St Jude, patron saint of lost causes,Copy !req
23. who have we here?Copy !req
24. What?Copy !req
25. I've been looking for you.Copy !req
26. Who are you?Copy !req
27. I go by a few names, but you can call me Friend.Copy !req
28. What do you want?Copy !req
29. HowCopy !req
30. Fuckin' do it on that tree right now!Copy !req
31. No. All I've got is an offer.Copy !req
32. What kind of offer?Copy !req
33. Do you ever wish you could just go right upCopy !req
34. into they clouds,Copy !req
35. and soar like an eagleCopy !req
36. till somewhere catches your eye,Copy !req
37. and land in a new place, with new people?Copy !req
38. A fresh start.Copy !req
39. A second chance. Do you ever wish for something like that?Copy !req
40. Every day.Copy !req
41. I'm sorry, mate, I didnae see your chopper landCopy !req
42. when you arrived.Copy !req
43. We don't need a chopper.Copy !req
44. Who are you?Copy !req
45. I told you. A friend.Copy !req
46. Aye, right, listen. I don't have any friends,Copy !req
47. so just piss off!Copy !req
48. I respectfully disagree, but I'll leave you in peace.Copy !req
49. - God bless. -No, wait.Copy !req
50. You can really...Copy !req
51. I'm not imagining this?Copy !req
52. You can take me anywhere I want?Copy !req
53. Anywhere. But with one catch.Copy !req
54. Once you make your decision, I won't be backCopy !req
55. if you change your mind.Copy !req
56. Ah, right, I see.Copy !req
57. Er... Can I have a minute to decide?Copy !req
58. You could, or you could decide up there.Copy !req
59. - No.Copy !req
60. Here, you're not going to dump me up on the moonCopy !req
61. just for a laugh?Copy !req
62. Now, there's an idea! No.Copy !req
63. All right. Well, in that case, there's only one thingCopy !req
64. left to say.Copy !req
65. Fly!Copy !req
66. Sorry, mate, I was just joking.Copy !req
67. Sorry.Copy !req
68. Here, at the end of the day, a fanny's a fanny.Copy !req
69. Thank you for joining us.Copy !req
70. My name is Larry Forsyth, and with me is Dr Stuart.Copy !req
71. This week, Dr Stuart will be administering meCopy !req
72. with Carousel,Copy !req
73. a drug that became popularCopy !req
74. amongst the poor of Victorian-era England,Copy !req
75. as a cheaper alternative to the funfair.Copy !req
76. An hour and a half later,Copy !req
77. I was beginning to feel definite effects.Copy !req
78. Can you hear that?Copy !req
79. Hear what?Copy !req
80. The lights in the studio are producing the most wonderfulCopy !req
81. kaleidoscope of sound.Copy !req
82. And visually?Copy !req
83. No, visually the drug appears to have no effects.Copy !req
84. The studio appears to be quite...Copy !req
85. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
86. Yes?Copy !req
87. When I do this with my head... There it is again.Copy !req
88. Could you tell me what it is you're experiencing?Copy !req
89. When I do... this... with my head,Copy !req
90. the lights and sound spin around meCopy !req
91. in the most wonderful manner.Copy !req
92. Like I am on a merry-go-roundCopy !req
93. of a kind I have never experiencedCopy !req
94. before in my life.Copy !req
95. - You uttered the wordCopy !req
96. "Mother".Copy !req
97. Did I? Yes, Mother was there.Copy !req
98. She was waving at me as I was going round and round.Copy !req
99. But now that I've stopped, she's gone.Copy !req
100. Ah, there she is.Copy !req
101. Larry, there's nobody there.Copy !req
102. But there is. They're all there.Copy !req
103. It's fading. It's... it's slowing... slowing down.Copy !req
104. Careful, Larry.Copy !req
105. No, no, it's slowing down.Copy !req
106. Ah, there she is!Copy !req
107. Mother! Mother, I'm here! Mother!Copy !req
108. Jacob! Jacob!Copy !req
109. Susannah, I'm here!Copy !req
110. Don't go... It's slowing down. Don't go, Mother!Copy !req
111. No! No! No!Copy !req
112. At this point in the experiment,Copy !req
113. I had to be subdued.Copy !req
114. Jacob! He's good.Copy !req
115. And...Copy !req
116. How's it going, Laura and Mark?Copy !req
117. You're live on Limmy's Show.Copy !req
118. They're watching something else.Copy !req
119. They're watching something...Copy !req
120. Couldn't make it up!Copy !req
121. You couldn't make it up. Can we get them on the phone?Copy !req
122. Can we get them on the phone and get them to turn over?Copy !req
123. Don't know why they're not watching.Copy !req
124. We were told... We were told they wereCopy !req
125. big fans of the show.Copy !req
126. Hello.Copy !req
127. How's it going, Laura? You're live on Limmy's Show!Copy !req
128. Turn over.Copy !req
129. - Turn over.Copy !req
130. Who's this? Put the guy on.Copy !req
131. Hello.Copy !req
132. How's it going, Mark? You're live on Limmy's Show!Copy !req
133. Turn over, mate.Copy !req
134. - Just turn over.Copy !req
135. Your flatmate Kenny says you're big fans of the show,Copy !req
136. so here we are. You up for a laughCopy !req
137. It's fucking Kenny that did it!Copy !req
138. Look, Kenny doesn't live here any more.Copy !req
139. He got booted out for shit like this.Copy !req
140. Just leave us alone!Copy !req
141. I told you it wouldn't stop!Copy !req
142. Here, could you do me a favour?Copy !req
143. When somebody goes to ask you for a favour,Copy !req
144. what you want to do is out-favour them.Copy !req
145. In fact, can you do me a favour?Copy !req
146. What?Copy !req
147. Do you think you could help me rip out my kitchen?Copy !req
148. It's just that I've been meaning to get round to itCopy !req
149. for agesCopy !req
150. but I've just not had the time.Copy !req
151. I was thinking maybe me and you could get tore inCopy !req
152. about Saturday morning.Copy !req
153. I know you said you're going out on the pissCopy !req
154. on Friday night,Copy !req
155. but there's no better hangover cureCopy !req
156. than a right good bit of grafting, in't there not?Copy !req
157. I'd do it myself, but it's going to be back-breakingCopy !req
158. enough for the two of us,Copy !req
159. never mind one. You know, taking stuff to the dump,Copy !req
160. going up and down, and up and down,Copy !req
161. and up and down the stairs.Copy !req
162. And I'm three flights up, you know what I mean?Copy !req
163. I was thinking, you know, if we got started niceCopy !req
164. and early,Copy !req
165. about five in the morning, I think we'd be finishedCopy !req
166. by midnight.Copy !req
167. So what do you sayCopy !req
168. Oh, I'm sorry, I cannae.Copy !req
169. Oh, right. Oh, well, aye.Copy !req
170. So what were you going to say?Copy !req
171. Er... it doesn't matter.Copy !req
172. Tenner! Hmph!Copy !req
173. 20 quid.Copy !req
174. Hundred.Copy !req
175. The house, the wife, the wean.Copy !req
176. Everything.Copy !req
177. Watch this. He'll give us a wee fright, right? Watch.Copy !req
178. A fanny's a fanny.Copy !req
179. Oh, here, I'm away for a fag.Copy !req
180. I don't smoke.Copy !req
181. Welcome to your live sketch for this evening.Copy !req
182. This one's called "The Cocktail Party".Copy !req
183. Let the story commence.Copy !req
184. This is a nice party.Copy !req
185. Aye, very civilised.Copy !req
186. - No idea.Copy !req
187. Me neither. I got the invite...Copy !req
188. I got the invite sent through but it never...Copy !req
189. This is a nice party.Copy !req
190. Aye, very civilised.Copy !req
191. - No idea.Copy !req
192. Me neither. I got the invite sent through but it neverCopy !req
193. said... whose name was on it.Copy !req
194. The name of the party.Copy !req
195. And...Copy !req
196. and...Copy !req
197. - Neither did mine. -No, nor mine.Copy !req
198. - Nor mine. Hey, were you about to sayCopy !req
199. something?Copy !req
200. Aye. Aye.Copy !req
201. No, I'm sorry, I cannae do this.Copy !req
202. Just joking.Copy !req
203. Hi!Copy !req
204. It's me!Copy !req
205. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
206. Your mind!Copy !req
207. Don't pretend you're sleeping.Copy !req
208. I know you're awake.Copy !req
209. I just thought, seeing as you're awake,Copy !req
210. we might want to have a wee think about some things.Copy !req
211. Some things you don't have the time to think aboutCopy !req
212. during the day.Copy !req
213. Some concerns.Copy !req
214. Some worries.Copy !req
215. How are you for moneyCopy !req
216. Some mortgage you've got yourself there, eh?Copy !req
217. Are you sure you're going to cope? How long have youCopy !req
218. got left on itCopy !req
219. A lot can happen in that time. People out of workCopy !req
220. everywhere.Copy !req
221. How are you going to copeCopy !req
222. What if What if?Copy !req
223. How are you going to cope?Copy !req
224. Here, forget about that. It's only money.Copy !req
225. It's only money.Copy !req
226. As long as you've got your health.Copy !req
227. Here, speaking of health, not long now, eh?Copy !req
228. Getting on a bit, eh?Copy !req
229. Getting old. Not long now.Copy !req
230. You're practically halfway through it.Copy !req
231. More than halfway, if you chop the last bit off, theCopy !req
232. bit that's not worth living.Copy !req
233. Have you done enough, do you reckon?Copy !req
234. Done enough with your life?Copy !req
235. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, do you thinkCopy !req
236. you've done enough?Copy !req
237. Are you happyCopy !req
238. NoCopy !req
239. Och, who cares about the past? You've got itCopy !req
240. all ahead of you.Copy !req
241. Years ahead of you, you and her and the wean.Copy !req
242. Here, what about her?Copy !req
243. Is she happyCopy !req
244. Here, I wonder who's gonna die first.Copy !req
245. Got to be somebody.Copy !req
246. You've seen what that does to people?Copy !req
247. Loss, bereavement. Christ, pray you go first.Copy !req
248. Might be sooner than you think.Copy !req
249. I just hope you're happy when it comes.Copy !req
250. No, you've got years ahead. Years to chip awayCopy !req
251. at that mortgage.Copy !req
252. Listen, I can see you're trying to get to sleep,Copy !req
253. so I'll let you go.Copy !req
254. Food for thought, though, eh?Copy !req
255. Food for thought.Copy !req
256. Night-night.Copy !req
257. It's the sleeping guy. It's the sleeping...Copy !req
258. You really couldn't make this up. You couldn't write it.Copy !req
259. What's his... what's his name?Copy !req
260. Owen.Copy !req
261. Owen, wake up, mate. Owen, wake up!Copy !req
262. He's not got us on either!Copy !req
263. You really couldn't make it up, eh?Copy !req
264. You couldn't make it up.Copy !req
265. Listen, sorry about that, folks.Copy !req
266. Enjoy the rest of the sketches. We'll be backCopy !req
267. in just a minute with Owen.Copy !req
268. .. for them to check. Why put him on when he was sleeping?Copy !req
269. He's not even watching either.Copy !req
270. I'm what?Copy !req
271. Just a wee joke there.Copy !req
272. We're go...Copy !req
273. God, I'm so knackered.Copy !req
274. - We were at the hospital till three this morning.Copy !req
275. Well, that's why we were all there.Copy !req
276. He died.Copy !req
277. Really? I'm sorry to hear that, mate.Copy !req
278. Are you all right?Copy !req
279. Aye, I'm fine.Copy !req
280. I just... I'm maybe just too tired to take it all inCopy !req
281. but...Copy !req
282. Look, the funeral's on ThursdayCopy !req
283. and I was just wondering if you fancied coming?Copy !req
284. When somebody tries to get you to go to a funeral,Copy !req
285. what you want to do is out-funeral them.Copy !req
286. Oh, that reminds me - my auntie died.Copy !req
287. God, you're joking!Copy !req
288. No. My Auntie, er... Florine.Copy !req
289. The funeral's on Saturday. I'd love for you to come.Copy !req
290. See, the thing is, I've written a speech,Copy !req
291. but I'm no good at public speaking, you know.Copy !req
292. I'd love for you to read it out for me.Copy !req
293. It's only about 10,000 words, but the thing is,Copy !req
294. the funeral's in PortsmouthCopy !req
295. and I thought, you know, 14 hours on the Megabus -Copy !req
296. that'd give you plenty of time to tackle it,Copy !req
297. wouldn't itCopy !req
298. Are you up for it?Copy !req
299. I'd be honoured.Copy !req
300. Shit!Copy !req
301. Yer maw!Copy !req
302. Yer maw!Copy !req
303. Yer maw!Copy !req
304. He is good!Copy !req
305. Now, that wasnae me!Copy !req
306. Now, that wasnae me!Copy !req
307. Now, that wasnae me!Copy !req
308. Now, that wasnae me!Copy !req
309. Now, that wasnae me!Copy !req
310. All right?Copy !req
311. You're watching Adventure Call.Copy !req
312. My name is FalconhoofCopy !req
313. and I will be your guideCopy !req
314. on your quest.Copy !req
315. And it's a special questCopy !req
316. this evening,Copy !req
317. as we try out for the very firstCopy !req
318. time Smellievision,Copy !req
319. using the Adventure CallCopy !req
320. scratch and sniff cardsCopy !req
321. available to purchase at allCopy !req
322. good newsagents.Copy !req
323. So let us begin.Copy !req
324. Greetings, Line Three. What isCopy !req
325. your name, traveller?Copy !req
326. Where are they? Dad, that's meCopy !req
327. on now!Copy !req
328. All right, Falconhoof? MyCopy !req
329. name's Emma.Copy !req
330. Greetings, Emma. Are you ready toCopy !req
331. begin your quest?Copy !req
332. No, not yet. I cannae findCopy !req
333. the card.Copy !req
334. Gonna check? Gonna just standCopy !req
335. up and check?Copy !req
336. I told you I got them.Copy !req
337. - My da was sitting on them.Copy !req
338. Ah, buried treasure, so to speak! AreCopy !req
339. you ready to begin?Copy !req
340. Aye, that's me now.Copy !req
341. Very well.Copy !req
342. You have been poisonedCopy !req
343. by Voldesade.Copy !req
344. Your eyesight is fading.Copy !req
345. You must use yourCopy !req
346. sense of smellCopy !req
347. to help you find the onlyCopy !req
348. known cure,Copy !req
349. the white dragon rose.Copy !req
350. Right.Copy !req
351. Traveller, on cardCopy !req
352. number one,Copy !req
353. there is a panel for west and aCopy !req
354. panel for east.Copy !req
355. Scratch out these panels andCopy !req
356. follow your nose.Copy !req
357. All right. Right. I'm scratchingCopy !req
358. out west.Copy !req
359. East.Copy !req
360. Oh! -And whatCopy !req
361. do you smell?Copy !req
362. It smells of shite.Copy !req
363. It shouldn't. Erm...Copy !req
364. Hold on.Copy !req
365. Dad, did you fart on these?Copy !req
366. Oh, you're disgusting!Copy !req
367. My dad farted on them! TheyCopy !req
368. smell of shite.Copy !req
369. OK, would you like to cancelCopy !req
370. the game?Copy !req
371. No, no, I might notCopy !req
372. get on again.Copy !req
373. I'll sniff it again.Copy !req
374. Hold on.Copy !req
375. It's more like my dad'sCopy !req
376. done a shite,Copy !req
377. but east smellsCopy !req
378. flowery,Copy !req
379. like he sprayed air freshenerCopy !req
380. after it.Copy !req
381. You go east.Copy !req
382. Your nose leads you to theCopy !req
383. white dragon rose.Copy !req
384. You pick it up, but youCopy !req
385. must run,Copy !req
386. for you feel theCopy !req
387. presence of...Copy !req
388. a dragon.Copy !req
389. Quickly, traveller.Copy !req
390. Scratch out the north and southCopy !req
391. panels of card twoCopy !req
392. and run away from the smellCopy !req
393. of the dragon.Copy !req
394. Oh, not again!Copy !req
395. Oh, this one's worse.Copy !req
396. What does a dragon smellCopy !req
397. likeCopy !req
398. Yes.Copy !req
399. - Yes.Copy !req
400. Head north, then. NorthCopy !req
401. smells of fartsCopy !req
402. but south smells like when my dadCopy !req
403. farts after a fag.Copy !req
404. You run north.Copy !req
405. In your haste, you drop theCopy !req
406. white dragon rose.Copy !req
407. You must find it fast, for you are nowCopy !req
408. completely blind,Copy !req
409. but be careful where you step.Copy !req
410. Nearby is... the ogre'sCopy !req
411. latrine.Copy !req
412. What's a latrine?Copy !req
413. It is a kind of... toilet.Copy !req
414. Oh, no!Copy !req
415. This is the last card, traveller:Copy !req
416. card number three.Copy !req
417. Scratch out east and west,Copy !req
418. avoid the ogre's latrine and youCopy !req
419. will win.Copy !req
420. Right. Oh, it's stinking and I've notCopy !req
421. even sniffed it yet.Copy !req
422. Oh! Oh, Dad, what did youCopy !req
423. do that for?Copy !req
424. - Oh, my dad'sCopy !req
425. just farted again.Copy !req
426. I cannae do it. I cannae do it!Copy !req
427. I understand.Copy !req
428. No, no, no, I've got to.Copy !req
429. Right, west.Copy !req
430. Oh!Copy !req
431. Can you smell the flowers WouldCopy !req
432. you like to go west?Copy !req
433. I don't know. I'll scratchCopy !req
434. east.Copy !req
435. You don't have to.Copy !req
436. East...Copy !req
437. Oh! [retches violentlyCopy !req
438. and vomits]Copy !req
439. Michelle, get the bowl!Copy !req
440. Let's take another call.Copy !req
441. Welcome back to Limmy's Show Live.Copy !req
442. This bit was meant to be... We were going to take theCopy !req
443. cameras out into the street.Copy !req
444. Go up to people, give out prizesCopy !req
445. and broadcast it all live,Copy !req
446. but apparently you need permission from the council.Copy !req
447. You need to write away for permissionCopy !req
448. two weeks in advance,Copy !req
449. and nobody here bothered to do that.Copy !req
450. Nobody here bothered to do that.Copy !req
451. So... So there you are.Copy !req
452. There you are.Copy !req
453. Fuckin' walk past a charity shop,Copy !req
454. guy was like that, "Just take it."Copy !req
455. Lassie was like that,Copy !req
456. "I told you, we're shut. Come back tomorrow."Copy !req
457. Guy was like that, "No!"Copy !req
458. I thought, here, Dee Dee,Copy !req
459. look what Lady Luck's just dropped on your lap:Copy !req
460. a big black bag full of all sorts going to waste.Copy !req
461. Get that up the road. I thought...Copy !req
462. Cool.Copy !req
463. Trooped up the road with my goodie bag.Copy !req
464. It was like Christmas had came early.Copy !req
465. But what was I getting? Gave it a wee squeeze.Copy !req
466. It was soft, like a beanbag.Copy !req
467. I thought, here, maybe it's... a beanbag.Copy !req
468. But it had hard bits, bumpy bits, like... a beanbag.Copy !req
469. But a beanbag full of games.Copy !req
470. And I rattled the wee metal bits. Like, maybe it was...Copy !req
471. I don't know.Copy !req
472. The suspense was killing me. It could be anything, man.Copy !req
473. Opened it up.Copy !req
474. Clothes. No games, no beanbag.Copy !req
475. Fucking... clothes.Copy !req
476. Not even the kind I could wear.Copy !req
477. No trainers, scants, nothing.Copy !req
478. Just all this smart gear for folk wanting to pureCopy !req
479. paint the town red.Copy !req
480. And that got me thinking, here, Dee Dee,Copy !req
481. I bet these clothes have seen a night out or two, eh?Copy !req
482. Pubs, clubs, cocktail bars.Copy !req
483. These clothes have had more of a life than you, my man.Copy !req
484. Shut up!Copy !req
485. But listen, now they're yours - your clothes.Copy !req
486. Stick them on and this could be the night of your life.Copy !req
487. Aye.Copy !req
488. So I battered on the top hat and tails, the Sunday best,Copy !req
489. and I headed up that town, turning headsCopy !req
490. wherever I went.Copy !req
491. Folk beeping their horn, giving us a wave.Copy !req
492. "You wanting a lift up that town?"Copy !req
493. And I was like that...Copy !req
494. No, I'll get youse up there.Copy !req
495. It's a beautiful night. I feel like a stroll.Copy !req
496. Youse roll on.Copy !req
497. And I heads to the club, gets to the bouncer.Copy !req
498. How's it going, my man?Copy !req
499. Whoa! Not tonight, my friend.Copy !req
500. WhatCopy !req
501. Can't let you in with trainers, mate.Copy !req
502. Cool.Copy !req
503. How's that do you?Copy !req
504. In.Copy !req
505. I gets in. The place is bouncing.Copy !req
506. Everybody's mad with it. Tunes are amazing.Copy !req
507. Met up with all the old crowd - facesCopy !req
508. I hadnae seen for ages.Copy !req
509. Not to mention some new faces an' all.Copy !req
510. Took care of some business.Copy !req
511. Any sweeties, mate?Copy !req
512. And I had myself a wee dance.Copy !req
513. But by the end of the night, things turned ugly.Copy !req
514. The demon drink turning pal against pal.Copy !req
515. No sooner had I broke up one fight than anotherCopy !req
516. had started.Copy !req
517. Oh, fuck this. I'm out of here, man.Copy !req
518. The night was over, or so I thought,Copy !req
519. cos as I was making a beeline for the door,Copy !req
520. I saw a sight that stopped me dead.Copy !req
521. A lady.Copy !req
522. A lady of the highest calibre.Copy !req
523. Clocked. Didn't know where to look.Copy !req
524. But she took me by the hand, confidently, and led me out.Copy !req
525. And we walked but didnae talk.Copy !req
526. What was happening was more than words.Copy !req
527. I could see she was Baltic, so I gave her my jacketCopy !req
528. and walked her to her door.Copy !req
529. She gave me the come-on, but I was a gentleman.Copy !req
530. You're drunk. Ask me next time.Copy !req
531. And we parted with a smile.Copy !req
532. What a night: the club, my pals and her.Copy !req
533. I never did get her name. I hope to see her again.Copy !req
534. And I've got a feeling I just might.Copy !req
535. Hi there! Hey, how's it goingCopy !req
536. Chuggers... What you want to do is out-chug them.Copy !req
537. - Hey! -Hi! So, have you gotCopy !req
538. a minute?Copy !req
539. Aye, no bother.Copy !req
540. Hi! So my name's Caroline and I'll cut to the chase.Copy !req
541. I'm collecting for charity, obviously, and...Copy !req
542. - Yeah.Copy !req
543. - Yeah.Copy !req
544. - Maybe.Copy !req
545. Maybe? Why would I want to give you moneyCopy !req
546. to help stop an illnessCopy !req
547. that might not be the one that kills me?Copy !req
548. Am I not best to give my money to helpCopy !req
549. stop the one that will?Copy !req
550. But you don't know what one will kill you.Copy !req
551. You're right, I don't, but I will.Copy !req
552. One day the doctor will sit me down and tell me.Copy !req
553. And I'll want all my money going on that.Copy !req
554. Hm. I guess that makes sense.Copy !req
555. No, it doesnae, because it's going to takeCopy !req
556. a helluva lot more than just my money to find a cure.Copy !req
557. I need your help.Copy !req
558. Huh?Copy !req
559. Well, you just asked me to give you moneyCopy !req
560. to help stop an illness that might not kill either of us.Copy !req
561. Now it's my turn to ask you to give some moneyCopy !req
562. to help stop the illness that definitely will kill me.Copy !req
563. I need your help.Copy !req
564. Just whatever you can afford.Copy !req
565. God bless!Copy !req
566. Hey, buddy,Copy !req
567. you think you've had a bad day?Copy !req
568. Today I had to tell my kids I've got a tumour.Copy !req
569. Hey, you know, you're a real SOB!Copy !req
570. He's good.Copy !req
571. A fanny's aCopy !req
572. Right. But you did it with him.Copy !req
573. You did it with him!Copy !req
574. How come you won't do it with me?Copy !req
575. Welcome back to Limmy's Show Live.Copy !req
576. We've heard he's awake, we've heard he's got usCopy !req
577. switched on, so...Copy !req
578. How's it going, Owen? You're live on Limmy's Show.Copy !req
579. How's it going, mate? Your da put you up to it, saysCopy !req
580. you're a big fan of the show.Copy !req
581. How's it going, mate?Copy !req
582. Can you hear us, mate?Copy !req
583. I know you can, cos I can hear the telly.Copy !req
584. Give us a wee wave if you can hear us.Copy !req
585. Right, so you can hear us. How's it going, mate?Copy !req
586. Mate, I've had a pretty bad night.Copy !req
587. It'd be good if something went well for a change.Copy !req
588. Fancy not just sitting there and smiling?Copy !req
589. How's it going, mate?Copy !req
590. Right. Your dad's a prick!Copy !req
591. What!Copy !req
592. That got you talking, eh? I knew this was a bad idea.Copy !req
593. - Oh, shut up, you!Copy !req
594. - No, you shut up! -No, you shut up! You shutCopy !req
595. up! You shut up! You shut up!Copy !req
596. You shut up! You shut up! You shut up! You shut up!Copy !req
597. Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
598. Has he switched us off? Wait till he switches usCopy !req
599. back on, right?Copy !req
600. - You shut up! You shut up! I'm telling you to shut up!Copy !req
601. - You shut up!Copy !req
602. Ha, ha!Copy !req
603. It's not funny. You'll probably have to payCopy !req
604. for that.Copy !req
605. Well, folks, that's the end of the show.Copy !req
606. Yaaayyyy!Copy !req