1. We're here to meet my wife. Ex-wife.
And her lawyer. Stroke lover.Copy !req
2. We're here to discuss
the divorce settlement,Copy !req
3. so it'll be interesting to see what
they bring to the table.Copy !req
4. They've probably done it
on the table.Copy !req
5. Come through, gents? Yeah.Copy !req
6. If they've done it on any table,
it's probably this one.
Very sturdy.Copy !req
7. Will you just...?Copy !req
8. OK, having taken
everything into consideration,Copy !req
9. this is our initial proposal.Copy !req
10. Will you just...?Copy !req
11. Will you...?Copy !req
12. Little arms!Copy !req
13. Just lightening the mood.Copy !req
14. I see, yes,
basically half of everything.Copy !req
15. Let's have a look.Copy !req
16. Don't be so fucking childish!Copy !req
17. Get off.Copy !req
18. I'm the fucking solicitor!Copy !req
19. And I'm the client.
Such a fucking idiot!Copy !req
20. Give me the fucking paper!Copy !req
21. So stupid! Oh, no!Copy !req
22. What a fucking idiot!Copy !req
23. It was the wrong time for comedy,
I know that now. You...!Copy !req
24. Hello? Yeah, I'm trying to find outCopy !req
25. when my new washing machine's
going to be here.Copy !req
26. Today, I'm putting my house in orderCopy !req
27. and getting the spy hole
moved down a bit, there.Copy !req
28. How high do you want it?
Just so I can look through it.Copy !req
29. Yeah, getting everything ready in the
flat for the big party next Saturday.Copy !req
30. Just waiting to find out where my new
washing machine is as well.Copy !req
31. The party...Copy !req
32. in a way is not only
a belated house warming,Copy !req
33. but it's also a gift to myself,
to say, "Well done, Warwick,Copy !req
34. "for struggling through the tough
times with a smile on your face."Copy !req
35. 'Also, I met a lovely girl, Amy.'Copy !req
36. What can I say?Copy !req
37. 'Yeah, she's terrific.'Copy !req
38. Those are for you. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
39. 'Our second date didn't go so well,Copy !req
40. 'so I've invited her as a chance
to make things up to her.'Copy !req
41. Will you come? Yeah, all right. I'll
see you then. That's great, thanks.Copy !req
42. 'so it should be quite
a starry affair.'Copy !req
43. And this may surprise you,
but I've invited Sue as well,Copy !req
44. cos I wanted to say to her,
"Yeah, even though you're suing meCopy !req
45. "for divorce, there's no reason why
we still can't be friends."Copy !req
46. Here's an invitation.
You're invited to Warwick's Castle.Copy !req
47. An Englishman's home is his castle.Copy !req
48. My name's Warwick Davis,
Warwick's Castle. See what I've done?Copy !req
49. 'And I've invited her new guy, just
to say,Copy !req
50. '"Fine, you're with my wife now, I'm
bigger than that, I don't care."'Copy !req
51. Did you take the photograph?
Not of the castle, no.Copy !req
52. Right, well, technically, that's
an infringement of copyright law.Copy !req
53. You need to consult
the photographer.Copy !req
54. It's just an invitation.Copy !req
55. And actually, I should warn you, Ian,
there will be a lot ofCopy !req
56. famous celebrities there from the
world of film and TV.Copy !req
57. Sue's used to it, from all
the years that we were together,Copy !req
58. all the showbiz parties
she's been to.Copy !req
59. Yeah, I don't want you to panic
and clam up,Copy !req
60. just cos they're famous.Copy !req
61. Well, I won't, because I probably
won't know who they are.Copy !req
62. Oh, yeah, you'll know
who these people are, trust me.Copy !req
63. Just inviting people
to the big party.Copy !req
64. Working my way
through my database of A-listers.Copy !req
65. Start with the big boys.
Mr Ewan McGregor.Copy !req
66. We worked together on Star Wars
Episode One The Phantom Menace.Copy !req
67. Got to hang out a lot together.
Bloody lovely bloke.Copy !req
68. We were like old friends within
a week, and we exchanged numbers.Copy !req
69. That's dead.Copy !req
70. Let's try some of the Harry Potter
gang. No shortage of big names there.Copy !req
71. Mr Daniel Radcliffe?
Mr Warwick Davis.Copy !req
72. The dwarf indeed, yeah.Copy !req
73. Would you like to come
to a party next Saturday?Copy !req
74. My party.Copy !req
75. Hello?Copy !req
76. He's gone.Copy !req
77. There's no way he could have
come at that short notice, I mean...Copy !req
78. And by the sound of his voice,
he was gutted.Copy !req
79. Miss Emma Watson.
Emma? Warwick Davis.Copy !req
80. Warwick Davis from Harry Potter?
You know, Professor Flit...Copy !req
81. Yeah, the dwarf, yeah.Copy !req
82. Would you like to come
to a party next Saturday?Copy !req
83. No, there's no appearance fee. Hello?Copy !req
84. She's gone.Copy !req
85. That's it, way too busy,
her and Daniel, you see.Copy !req
86. That's what happens.
When you're in demand, you just haveCopy !req
87. to pick up the phone and,
and then answerCopy !req
88. and then just hang up,
even if it seems rude.Copy !req
89. Grint.Copy !req
90. What's Grint?Copy !req
91. Oh, it's Rupert Grint. You know,
the ginger one from Harry Potter?Copy !req
92. What does he want?Copy !req
93. Hello, Rupert.Copy !req
94. Party?Copy !req
95. No, I'm not having a party, no.Copy !req
96. Sorry, Rupe, hang on, I just think,
I've just seen a...Copy !req
97. a small fire has erupted in my flat
and, yeah, I'm going to have to go.Copy !req
98. Yes, all right, cheers, bye. Bye.Copy !req
99. Oh.Copy !req
100. Oh, I mean, I feel bad. I mean,
he's a lovely bloke and all that,Copy !req
101. but you don't want Grint
at your party.Copy !req
102. That's very good. Oh. Look at that.Copy !req
103. And, look, it's all filled in up
there as well. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.Copy !req
104. Great. OK, let's give it a dry run.
You go outside and ring the bell.Copy !req
105. All right. That's it.Copy !req
106. Oh.Copy !req
107. I can only see the groin.Copy !req
108. I can only see your groin.
It's no good.Copy !req
109. I wondered why you wanted it
down there.Copy !req
110. Well, so I could look through it.
Yeah, but you can only see groins.Copy !req
111. I thought I'd be able to look up
and see faces.Copy !req
112. No, you can only see groins.
I know that now.Copy !req
113. Well, where do you want it then?
I want it where I can see faces.Copy !req
114. Higher up then? Yes.Copy !req
115. About where it was?
In a way, yes. OK.Copy !req
116. I've just moved into a new flat. Oh.
It's lovely. Oh, good.Copy !req
117. Going to have a bit of a showbiz bash
to mark the occasion.Copy !req
118. Don't know whether you guys
might like to come along?Copy !req
119. Er, when is it? It's this Saturday.
Oh, definitely not. No, I can't. No?Copy !req
120. I'm working at Great Ormond Street,
Saturday. It's in the evening.Copy !req
121. Yeah, in the evenings,
that's what I do,Copy !req
122. Saturday evenings,
I work at Great... Don't I?Copy !req
123. Yeah. He does, he does.
Steve's free, he doesn't...Copy !req
124. I'm not, actually.Copy !req
125. No, you've mis-remembered there.
I come down with you.Copy !req
126. I've remembered they don't want him
there,Copy !req
127. cos he turned up once and it scared
the children, the face. Not true.Copy !req
128. They said, "Don't ever bring that
goggle-eyed freak near me again."Copy !req
129. The kids would never say that.
What they said was,Copy !req
130. "It's that guy from The Tooth Fairy,
the kids film.Copy !req
131. "We love him being here."Copy !req
132. Which I saw and was terrified, so
please don't bring him in so...Copy !req
133. I've just remembered actually,
I just checked the diary,Copy !req
134. you're not going there.Copy !req
135. No, we both are. We are.
We're both going, so we can't come.Copy !req
136. It is a shame because, you know,
it's going to be a great evening.Copy !req
137. Oh, never mind.Copy !req
138. But, you know, if your plans change,
you know, you're always welcome.Copy !req
139. Door's always open.
One downstairs certainly is!Copy !req
140. See you later. Cheers. Cheers.Copy !req
141. Make sure he actually leaves
the building.Copy !req
142. How does he keep getting in? Yeah,
he's... Oh! What? It's Les Dennis.Copy !req
143. And he's brought Cheggers with him.Copy !req
144. Who is it? Washing machine.
At last. Push the door.Copy !req
145. Close the door.Copy !req
146. Look at that, some time between nine
and five.Copy !req
147. Thanks for being so prompt.Copy !req
148. Excuse me. Right, bring it over here.Copy !req
149. There we go.Copy !req
150. Hang on, where you going?
You haven't plumbed it in.Copy !req
151. No, we can't. Yes, you can.Copy !req
152. When I bought it,Copy !req
153. they said you'd take away the old one
and install the new one.Copy !req
154. I can't take away the old one,
cos it's still plumbed in.Copy !req
155. Well, unplumb it then. We can't.
Can you plumb in the new one? Yeah.Copy !req
156. Well, then, it's the same,
but in reverse.Copy !req
157. I'm not allowed to unplumb
anything. Company policy.Copy !req
158. What was I supposed to do?
Get a plumber roundCopy !req
159. to unplumb the old one,
so you could plumb in the new one?Copy !req
160. Yeah. Well, that's madness!
Well, read the small print, mate.Copy !req
161. How much do you want to
unplumb the old one?Copy !req
162. We can't. We might damage something
and you could sue us.Copy !req
163. I promise, I won't sue you.
That's not legally binding.Copy !req
164. I can't have two washing machines
cluttering up my kitchen.Copy !req
165. I'm having a party on Saturday.
I've got famous people coming.Copy !req
166. Are they bringing their laundry? No.
Don't worry about it then.Copy !req
167. Have your party Saturday,Copy !req
168. get that unplumbed Sunday, I'll be
back to plumb this one Monday.Copy !req
169. What? Some time between
nine and five? Yeah.Copy !req
170. Never mind, I'll do it myself.
Thank you.Copy !req
171. How am I going to do this?Copy !req
172. Cheryl, where are you?
Can you get over here straightaway?Copy !req
173. It's a domestic emergency.Copy !req
174. No, I'm not trapped
in the bathroom again.Copy !req
175. OK. I've unplumbed it.
Simple, it's just a couple of tubes.Copy !req
176. You make a good plumber,Copy !req
177. cos you could get in all the little
crevices like that, couldn't you?Copy !req
178. Yeah, I could, couldn't I?Copy !req
179. Something to think about when
the acting work dries up for you.Copy !req
180. Why would you say that
in front of...?Copy !req
181. Right, that's done. Now,
we've just got to get it out. Um...Copy !req
182. I've got a sack truck downstairs,
I'll go down and get that.Copy !req
183. Here we go.Copy !req
184. Right, you go round behind
and tip it backwards.Copy !req
185. Right, tip it backwards.Copy !req
186. Yeah. There we go.Copy !req
187. Look at that! Easy.Copy !req
188. Here we go.Copy !req
189. Can't leave that there.Copy !req
190. Thank you.Copy !req
191. Here, hold on.Copy !req
192. Yeah, this looks like a good spot.
Perfect.Copy !req
193. It says you can't tip here.Copy !req
194. Yeah, well, the plumber said
he couldn't unplumb it, but he could.Copy !req
195. I'm sick of these arbitrary rules.Copy !req
196. Good.Copy !req
197. Do you want to dump these as well?
What's that?Copy !req
198. They're the instructions. They were
inside the washing machine.Copy !req
199. What, inside that? Yeah.Copy !req
200. That's the new one! I know.Copy !req
201. I wondered why you were dumping
that one.Copy !req
202. Aaah! Fuck!
And you didn't say anything? Ah!Copy !req
203. So, do you want these or not?Copy !req
204. F...!Copy !req
205. Yeah, hello. Is that Rent-a-Star?Copy !req
206. Yeah, I'm Warwick DavisCopy !req
207. and I'm looking to hire some
celebrities for a party I'm having.Copy !req
208. Yeah, now,
I'm looking at your website andCopy !req
209. I see you've got Gary Busey,
Daniel Baldwin, Brigitte Nielson.Copy !req
210. Do you have anyone that hasn't
been in celebrity rehab?Copy !req
211. There will be drink at the party,
I don't want any trouble.Copy !req
212. Right, there's a page two. Oh, yeah.
George Takei, that's Sulu.Copy !req
213. Erik Estrada, yeah, he's from Chips.
Who's Antonio Fargas?Copy !req
214. Huggy Bear?Copy !req
215. OK, have you got any actors
that have actuallyCopy !req
216. acted in something in the last
ten to 15 years?Copy !req
217. No? What about TV presenters?
Now, Cat Deeley interests me.Copy !req
218. She's not a drunk or a junkieCopy !req
219. and people under
the age of 50 have heard of her.Copy !req
220. Yeah, how much would she cost?Copy !req
221. Bear in mind, I'm in the business,Copy !req
222. so what's the best price
you can do on Deeley?Copy !req
223. Oh. Come in. Push the door.Copy !req
224. Push it.Copy !req
225. There we are, welcome. Thank you.
Ah, the great showbiz party.Copy !req
226. I must say, I'm very excited.Copy !req
227. I'm looking forward to
all the superstars.Copy !req
228. Well, welcome to the castle.
Food's over there. Drinks that way.Copy !req
229. Help yourselves. Good.Copy !req
230. Yes! Right, push the door. Come on.
Push. That's it. Welcome, come on in.Copy !req
231. Shut the door now.Copy !req
232. Here we go, everyone, over here.
Look at this, look who it is.Copy !req
233. It's only the beautiful Cat Deeley.
Yeah.Copy !req
234. Just another guest at my party, here.
Wow.Copy !req
235. Here she is. Cat Deeley, everyone.Copy !req
236. That's it.Copy !req
237. Not the reaction I thought you'd get,
but thanks for being here. Oh...Copy !req
238. Don't tell people you're hired. What?Copy !req
239. Don't tell people
I've paid for you to be here.Copy !req
240. Just say you're one of my showbiz
friends. But how would we have met?Copy !req
241. Well, I don't know,
some Hollywood party.Copy !req
242. Do you go to Hollywood parties?Copy !req
243. Yeah, I go to Hollywood parties,
babe, yeah.Copy !req
244. Long before you were born.Copy !req
245. So, I don't know, just say you're
a big fan of mine. All right?Copy !req
246. Come on, then. That's it.
Mingle, will you? Yup. OK.Copy !req
247. Ian, Sue, have you met the beautiful
Cat Deeley? Hello, nice to meet you.Copy !req
248. Nice to meet you. Hello.Copy !req
249. I still really like that show
that you used to do in the morningsCopy !req
250. with Ant and Dec.Copy !req
251. Oh, thanks.
So, what are they really like then?Copy !req
252. Don't really want
to talk about those guys.Copy !req
253. Cat, can I have word? Just..Copy !req
254. In case you've forgotten,Copy !req
255. I'm paying you an awful lot of money
to be here tonight,Copy !req
256. so if people want to talk about Ant
and Dec, you talk about Ant and Dec.Copy !req
257. Capiche?Copy !req
258. Good, come on then.Copy !req
259. So, you were talking about Ant
and Dec, weren't you? Oh, it's fine.Copy !req
260. She doesn't mind. She'll...Copy !req
261. What do you think of the show
they're doing now?Copy !req
262. The one in the jungle, is it?
I'm A Celebrity... Yeah.Copy !req
263. I don't really watch it.
Cat, can I have another word?Copy !req
264. I don't even work
on the jungle show.Copy !req
265. You must have an opinion.
I think it's pretty good.Copy !req
266. Well, say that when people ask. God!Copy !req
267. Hello, Cat Deeley. Hi.
I am Warwick's accountant. Right.Copy !req
268. Yeah. Got some other
clients as well. Uh-huh.Copy !req
269. Four other clients, no, three.Copy !req
270. No four, including me,
cos I do my own books. Right.Copy !req
271. You got an accountant? Yeah.
Happy with them? Very.Copy !req
272. Yeah, what if I told youCopy !req
273. you could get away with never
having to pay VAT?Copy !req
274. That's illegal, isn't it? Yup,
it is, you can't get away with that.Copy !req
275. Want to go out with me sometime?Copy !req
276. No. No?
Well, do you want to take my card,Copy !req
277. in case you need a new accountant?
No.Copy !req
278. No? Nah.Copy !req
279. No, not after asking you out.
And the illegal VAT stuff.Copy !req
280. I've muddled things, asking you out
and asking for your business.Copy !req
281. I should have done one or the other.
I always do that. That's my problem.Copy !req
282. I want to make money
and I want a shag.Copy !req
283. I end up getting neither. Oh.Copy !req
284. No chance with either with you,
did I? No. Nah.Copy !req
285. Oh.Copy !req
286. Oh. My life.
I wouldn't wish it on...Copy !req
287. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.Copy !req
288. You know what, sometimes, I think
I should just go down to my bankCopy !req
289. and get out all my savings in cash,
spend it all on prostitutes...Copy !req
290. and then kill myself.Copy !req
291. Don't think I haven't
thought of that many a time.Copy !req
292. Having fun? Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
293. So...Copy !req
294. Are you and Cat Deeley an item,
then?Copy !req
295. Why? You're not jealous, are you?
No, no, she's...Copy !req
296. she's very glamorous.Copy !req
297. Look, I didn't want to say too much,
but, um...Copy !req
298. you've rumbled us.Copy !req
299. How long's that been going on?
Long enough. Hmm.Copy !req
300. Yeah, is it a rebound thing?
Who knows?Copy !req
301. But, um, you've still got first dibs
on me, but the clock is ticking.Copy !req
302. I just don't want her to get hurt.Copy !req
303. Cat! What? Here she is.Copy !req
304. What you doing? Just putting
my arm round you. Round my leg?Copy !req
305. Can't reach your waist,
can I? Well, don't.Copy !req
306. She doesn't like public
displays of affection.Copy !req
307. But, er, yeah, we are an item.Copy !req
308. You don't tweet, do you? No.
No, no, it's...Copy !req
309. You know, if it ever got out, eurgh,
it'd be a media meltdown and,Copy !req
310. yeah, I don't want that.Copy !req
311. Protecting her, really.Copy !req
312. So, um, just,
keep it under your hat, yeah?Copy !req
313. All right, lads? I, er, embarrassed
myself with Cat Deeley. How?Copy !req
314. I asked her out, then started
talking about fiddling her taxCopy !req
315. and killing myself.Copy !req
316. All over the place.
Yeah, not focused.Copy !req
317. How would you kill yourself?Copy !req
318. Blow all my money on prossies,
then a gun in the mouth.Copy !req
319. It's a classic. What about you, Les?
Definitely pills.Copy !req
320. That's the way I'm going to do it.
I've heard you just slip away.Copy !req
321. You've got to be careful,
though, that you don't wake up,Copy !req
322. because you can get brain damage
and your kidneys can go.Copy !req
323. What about you? Just car
in the garage, hose on the exhaust.Copy !req
324. I've got heated seats,
so I'd be comfy.Copy !req
325. Yeah. Keith? Er, best guess for me?Copy !req
326. Probably a wanking incident.Copy !req
327. You know, the old, er, belt round
the door handle job?Copy !req
328. Uh...Copy !req
329. Knocking one out.Copy !req
330. Orgasm.Copy !req
331. Joke.Copy !req
332. Dead.Copy !req
333. Yeah. Actually, I'm going
to change my mind.Copy !req
334. I think that's the best way to go.
If you're going to do it, do that.Copy !req
335. Excuse me. What,
you going to knock one out now?Copy !req
336. Yeah. Once I've got that idea
in my head, I can't get rid of it.Copy !req
337. Oh.Copy !req
338. Lots of TV people, aren't there?
Uh-huh. Media people. Uh-huh.Copy !req
339. It's all very glamorous and creative.
Uh-huh. You fitting in OK? Yup.Copy !req
340. Don't suppose you've heard
the rumour about me and Cat Deeley?Copy !req
341. Who's Cat Deeley?
I introduced you earlier.Copy !req
342. The tall, blonde, you know, she...Copy !req
343. She's always on the TV.
Oh, I don't have a television.Copy !req
344. You don't have a TV?
No, just books.Copy !req
345. Well, if you did... But I don't.Copy !req
346. If you did, you'd realise she's quite
a famous person to be going out with.Copy !req
347. But I don't.Copy !req
348. Push the door.Copy !req
349. Hi. Hi, Warwick. How's it going?
Good, thanks. Nice place. Yeah.Copy !req
350. Do you want a drink? Yes, please.
It's all over there. Help yourself.Copy !req
351. No, he's very special...Copy !req
352. All right, Keith?Copy !req
353. You don't tweet, do you? Yeah, I do.Copy !req
354. Oh, no.Copy !req
355. You haven't tweeted that me and
Cat Deeley are going out, have you?Copy !req
356. Of course not.Copy !req
357. Oh, depends what you've seen.Copy !req
358. You haven't seen me
and her together then? No.Copy !req
359. You didn't see me touch her legs? No.
Well, I did. Leg hug.Copy !req
360. I didn't see that.Copy !req
361. Well, pay attention then,
to what's going on under your nose,Copy !req
362. and if it's of interest, tweet it.Copy !req
363. Sometimes, I look at the moon
and I do find thatCopy !req
364. I feel like when the tides are high
and the lunar moon's out,Copy !req
365. I feel a little bit... like...Copy !req
366. frisky.Copy !req
367. Yeah.Copy !req
368. The guy from Family Fortunes. Hello,
I'm Amy. Hello. Hi, Amy, I'm Sue.Copy !req
369. Hi. Ian Wald. Oh, hi, Ian.
Ian, my partner. Oh.Copy !req
370. How do you guys know Warwick? I used
to be married to him. Oh, that's...Copy !req
371. And I'm suing him. Yeah.
Effectively. OK. He's my solicitor.Copy !req
372. Supervising the divorce.Copy !req
373. That must save you a bit of
money, going out with your lawyer.Copy !req
374. No, I'm still paying him, you know.
Well, yeah, but we'll get it back.Copy !req
375. Oh. So, how do you know Warwick?
Do you work with him?Copy !req
376. No, we just met through
a dating agency. Dating agency?Copy !req
377. Been on a couple of dates,
which have been quite eventful.Copy !req
378. This is our third.Copy !req
379. That's strange, Warwick,Copy !req
380. cos I thought you were going out
with Cat Deeley?Copy !req
381. What?Copy !req
382. That's what you said, isn't it?Copy !req
383. You're going out with Cat Deeley?Copy !req
384. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Er...Copy !req
385. Should have probably said something,
um, but, yeah.Copy !req
386. Me and Cat are, kind of, but,
but look, come on, babe.Copy !req
387. You knew
when you got involved with meCopy !req
388. you were dealing with a player,
didn't you?Copy !req
389. And, er, don't hate the player,
hate the game.Copy !req
390. OK, er, I'll give you a holler, yeah?Copy !req
391. Sorry, Warwick, did I put you in it?Copy !req
392. Nah.Copy !req
393. Yeah, we had a few laughs,
but, you know,Copy !req
394. I never said she wouldn't get hurt.Copy !req
395. Chick like Cat Deeley comes along,
you have to say bye-bye.Copy !req
396. But, you know,
same thing could happen to Deeley.Copy !req
397. I could home one day, Deeley's there,Copy !req
398. "Hi, Warwick, I made your favourite
dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese."Copy !req
399. "Mmm, lovely. By the way,
I'm sleeping with J-Lo,Copy !req
400. "you're moving out tomorrow."Copy !req
401. Cat? Do you find it difficult
being in LA half the year?Copy !req
402. I mean, do you miss Warwick?
Do I miss Warwick?Copy !req
403. Yeah, is it hard to maintain
a relationship? Relationship?Copy !req
404. Yeah, we don't use that word.
What do you mean, relationship?Copy !req
405. Yeah, we don't use that word,
so let's not repeat it.Copy !req
406. Sorry, I thought you were going
out with Warwick?Copy !req
407. Why did you think that? Er... Been
some rumours. How did they start?Copy !req
408. I don't know, but let's just leave
this now, shall we?Copy !req
409. I've already sent one girl home
crying, I don't want any more tears.Copy !req
410. Have you been telling people that
we're going out? Er...Copy !req
411. Excuse me, everybody. Can I have
everybody's attention, please?Copy !req
412. Um, has anyone heard the rumour
that I'm going out with Warwick?Copy !req
413. Put your hands up. Show me,
put your hands up.Copy !req
414. Well, it's totally unfounded.
It's ridiculous.Copy !req
415. I would never go out with
Warwick Davis. Is that clear?Copy !req
416. Everyone, is that completely clear?Copy !req
417. Yes.Copy !req
418. OK, thanks for coming, everyone,
party's over.Copy !req
419. Deeley's thrown a strop.Copy !req
420. Everyone out.Copy !req
421. Cat, can you keep the noise down?
Can I go yet?Copy !req
422. No, I paid you till midnight.Copy !req
423. Wasted five grand on her.Copy !req
424. Look at that. What's that on my shoe?Copy !req
425. It's a pilchard.Copy !req
426. Yeah, I was hungry,
so I opened a tin of pilchards.Copy !req
427. I couldn't work your microwave,
so I had to eat them cold.Copy !req
428. This day couldn't get any worse.Copy !req
429. Cat, get a mop.Copy !req
430. It won't happen again. But I feel
like it will happen again, Warwick.Copy !req
431. It won't, I promise.Copy !req
432. Are you satisfied?
Yes. In every way.Copy !req
433. No need for smut.
Give me five grand, just to live on.Copy !req
434. It looks like my fortunesCopy !req
435. are turning.Copy !req
436. What does an event like this
mean to you?Copy !req
437. It means I can't be at homeCopy !req
438. in my pants getting drunk.Copy !req
439. Not many people get the chance to
delight Sting, do they?Copy !req
440. Warwick hasn't bid yet.
Sting grassing me up.Copy !req
441. I'm here with Big Keith from
The Office. Keith... It's Ewan.Copy !req
442. Sorry?Copy !req
443. Big Keith is just the character
name, I'm actually nothing like him.Copy !req
444. Sorry, Ewan, of course. So, does
this charity mean a lot to you then?Copy !req
445. Good. And, obviously,
it's a great cause.Copy !req
446. And you'll be hoping that the
auction raises a lot of money?Copy !req
447. Yes.Copy !req
448. OK, great chat,
thanks very much for that.Copy !req