1. We're here to meet my wife. Ex-wife.
And her lawyer. Stroke lover.Copy !req
2. We're here to discuss
the divorce settlement,Copy !req
3. so it'll be interesting to see what
they bring to the table.Copy !req
4. They've probably done it
on the table.Copy !req
5. Come through, gents? Yeah.Copy !req
6. If they've done it on any table,
it's probably this one.
Very sturdy.Copy !req
7. Will you just...?Copy !req
8. OK, having taken
everything into consideration,Copy !req
9. this is our initial proposal.Copy !req
10. Will you just...?Copy !req
11. Will you...?Copy !req
12. Little arms!Copy !req
13. Just lightening the mood.Copy !req
14. I see, yes,
basically half of everything.Copy !req
15. Let's have a look.Copy !req
16. Don't be so fucking childish!Copy !req
17. Get off.Copy !req
18. I'm the fucking solicitor!Copy !req
19. And I'm the client.
Such a fucking idiot!Copy !req
20. Give me the fucking paper!Copy !req
21. So stupid! Oh, no!Copy !req
22. What a fucking idiot!Copy !req
23. It was the wrong time for comedy,
I know that now. You...!Copy !req
24. Hello? Yeah, I'm trying to find outCopy !req
25. when my new washing machine's
going to be here.Copy !req
26. Today, I'm putting my house in orderCopy !req
27. and getting the spy hole
moved down a bit, there.Copy !req
28. How high do you want it?
Just so I can look through it.Copy !req
29. Yeah, getting everything ready in the
flat for the big party next Saturday.Copy !req
30. Just waiting to find out where my new
washing machine is as well.Copy !req
31. The party...Copy !req
32. in a way is not only
a belated house warming,Copy !req
33. but it's also a gift to myself,
to say, "Well done, Warwick,Copy !req
34. "for struggling through the tough
times with a smile on your face."Copy !req
35. 'Also, I met a lovely girl, Amy.'Copy !req
36. What can I say?Copy !req
37. 'Yeah, she's terrific.'Copy !req
38. Those are for you. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
39. 'Our second date didn't go so well,Copy !req
40. 'so I've invited her as a chance
to make things up to her.'Copy !req
41. Will you come? Yeah, all right. I'll
see you then. That's great, thanks.Copy !req
42. See ya. Bye.Copy !req
43. 'Of course, I will be inviting
all my showbiz friends,Copy !req
44. 'so it should be quite
a starry affair.'Copy !req
45. And this may surprise you,
but I've invited Sue as well,Copy !req
46. cos I wanted to say to her,
"Yeah, even though you're suing meCopy !req
47. "for divorce, there's no reason why
we still can't be friends."Copy !req
48. Here's an invitation.
You're invited to Warwick's Castle.Copy !req
49. An Englishman's home is his castle.Copy !req
50. My name's Warwick Davis,
Warwick's Castle. See what I've done?Copy !req
51. 'And I've invited her new guy, just
to say,Copy !req
52. '"Fine, you're with my wife now, I'm
bigger than that, I don't care."'Copy !req
53. Did you take the photograph?
Not of the castle, no.Copy !req
54. Right, well, technically, that's
an infringement of copyright law.Copy !req
55. You need to consult
the photographer.Copy !req
56. It's just an invitation.Copy !req
57. And actually, I should warn you, Ian,
there will be a lot ofCopy !req
58. famous celebrities there from the
world of film and TV.Copy !req
59. Sue's used to it, from all
the years that we were together,Copy !req
60. all the showbiz parties
she's been to.Copy !req
61. Yeah, I don't want you to panic
and clam up,Copy !req
62. just cos they're famous.Copy !req
63. Well, I won't, because I probably
won't know who they are.Copy !req
64. Oh, yeah, you'll know
who these people are, trust me.Copy !req
65. Just inviting people
to the big party.Copy !req
66. Working my way
through my database of A-listers.Copy !req
67. Start with the big boys.
Mr Ewan McGregor.Copy !req
68. We worked together on Star Wars
Episode One The Phantom Menace.Copy !req
69. Got to hang out a lot together.
Bloody lovely bloke.Copy !req
70. We were like old friends within
a week, and we exchanged numbers.Copy !req
71. That's dead.Copy !req
72. Let's try some of the Harry Potter
gang. No shortage of big names there.Copy !req
73. Mr Daniel Radcliffe?
Mr Warwick Davis.Copy !req
74. The dwarf indeed, yeah.Copy !req
75. Would you like to come
to a party next Saturday?Copy !req
76. My party.Copy !req
77. Hello?Copy !req
78. He's gone.Copy !req
79. There's no way he could have
come at that short notice, I mean...Copy !req
80. And by the sound of his voice,
he was gutted.Copy !req
81. Miss Emma Watson.
Emma? Warwick Davis.Copy !req
82. Warwick Davis from Harry Potter?
You know, Professor Flit...Copy !req
83. Yeah, the dwarf, yeah.Copy !req
84. Would you like to come
to a party next Saturday?Copy !req
85. No, there's no appearance fee. Hello?Copy !req
86. She's gone.Copy !req
87. That's it, way too busy,
her and Daniel, you see.Copy !req
88. That's what happens.
When you're in demand, you just haveCopy !req
89. to pick up the phone and,
and then answerCopy !req
90. and then just hang up,
even if it seems rude.Copy !req
91. Grint.Copy !req
92. What's Grint?Copy !req
93. Oh, it's Rupert Grint. You know,
the ginger one from Harry Potter?Copy !req
94. What does he want?Copy !req
95. Hello, Rupert.Copy !req
96. Party?Copy !req
97. No, I'm not having a party, no.Copy !req
98. Sorry, Rupe, hang on, I just think,
I've just seen a...Copy !req
99. a small fire has erupted in my flat
and, yeah, I'm going to have to go.Copy !req
100. Yes, all right, cheers, bye. Bye.Copy !req
101. Oh.Copy !req
102. Oh, I mean, I feel bad. I mean,
he's a lovely bloke and all that,Copy !req
103. but you don't want Grint
at your party.Copy !req
104. That's very good. Oh. Look at that.Copy !req
105. And, look, it's all filled in up
there as well. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.Copy !req
106. Great. OK, let's give it a dry run.
You go outside and ring the bell.Copy !req
107. All right. That's it.Copy !req
108. Oh.Copy !req
109. I can only see the groin.Copy !req
110. I can only see your groin.
It's no good.Copy !req
111. I wondered why you wanted it
down there.Copy !req
112. Well, so I could look through it.
Yeah, but you can only see groins.Copy !req
113. I thought I'd be able to look up
and see faces.Copy !req
114. No, you can only see groins.
I know that now.Copy !req
115. Well, where do you want it then?
I want it where I can see faces.Copy !req
116. Higher up then? Yes.Copy !req
117. About where it was?
In a way, yes. OK.Copy !req
118. I've just moved into a new flat. Oh.
It's lovely. Oh, good.Copy !req
119. Going to have a bit of a showbiz bash
to mark the occasion.Copy !req
120. Don't know whether you guys
might like to come along?Copy !req
121. Er, when is it? It's this Saturday.
Oh, definitely not. No, I can't. No?Copy !req
122. I'm working at Great Ormond Street,
Saturday. It's in the evening.Copy !req
123. Yeah, in the evenings,
that's what I do,Copy !req
124. Saturday evenings,
I work at Great... Don't I?Copy !req
125. Yeah. He does, he does.
Steve's free, he doesn't...Copy !req
126. I'm not, actually.Copy !req
127. No, you've mis-remembered there.
I come down with you.Copy !req
128. I've remembered they don't want him
there,Copy !req
129. cos he turned up once and it scared
the children, the face. Not true.Copy !req
130. They said, "Don't ever bring that
goggle-eyed freak near me again."Copy !req
131. The kids would never say that.
What they said was,Copy !req
132. "It's that guy from The Tooth Fairy,
the kids film.Copy !req
133. "We love him being here."Copy !req
134. Which I saw and was terrified, so
please don't bring him in so...Copy !req
135. I've just remembered actually,
I just checked the diary,Copy !req
136. you're not going there.Copy !req
137. No, we both are. We are.
We're both going, so we can't come.Copy !req
138. It is a shame because, you know,
it's going to be a great evening.Copy !req
139. Oh, never mind.Copy !req
140. But, you know, if your plans change,
you know, you're always welcome.Copy !req
141. Door's always open.
One downstairs certainly is!Copy !req
142. See you later. Cheers. Cheers.Copy !req
143. Make sure he actually leaves
the building.Copy !req
144. How does he keep getting in? Yeah,
he's... Oh! What? It's Les Dennis.Copy !req
145. And he's brought Cheggers with him.Copy !req
146. Who is it? Washing machine.
At last. Push the door.Copy !req
147. Close the door.Copy !req
148. Look at that, some time between nine
and five.Copy !req
149. Thanks for being so prompt.Copy !req
150. Excuse me. Right, bring it over here.Copy !req
151. There we go.Copy !req
152. Hang on, where you going?
You haven't plumbed it in.Copy !req
153. No, we can't. Yes, you can.Copy !req
154. When I bought it,Copy !req
155. they said you'd take away the old one
and install the new one.Copy !req
156. I can't take away the old one,
cos it's still plumbed in.Copy !req
157. Well, unplumb it then. We can't.
Can you plumb in the new one? Yeah.Copy !req
158. Well, then, it's the same,
but in reverse.Copy !req
159. I'm not allowed to unplumb
anything. Company policy.Copy !req
160. What was I supposed to do?
Get a plumber roundCopy !req
161. to unplumb the old one,
so you could plumb in the new one?Copy !req
162. Yeah. Well, that's madness!
Well, read the small print, mate.Copy !req
163. How much do you want to
unplumb the old one?Copy !req
164. We can't. We might damage something
and you could sue us.Copy !req
165. I promise, I won't sue you.
That's not legally binding.Copy !req
166. I can't have two washing machines
cluttering up my kitchen.Copy !req
167. I'm having a party on Saturday.
I've got famous people coming.Copy !req
168. Are they bringing their laundry? No.
Don't worry about it then.Copy !req
169. Have your party Saturday,Copy !req
170. get that unplumbed Sunday, I'll be
back to plumb this one Monday.Copy !req
171. What? Some time between
nine and five? Yeah.Copy !req
172. Never mind, I'll do it myself.
Thank you.Copy !req
173. How am I going to do this?Copy !req
174. Cheryl, where are you?
Can you get over here straightaway?Copy !req
175. It's a domestic emergency.Copy !req
176. No, I'm not trapped
in the bathroom again.Copy !req
177. OK. I've unplumbed it.
Simple, it's just a couple of tubes.Copy !req
178. You make a good plumber,Copy !req
179. cos you could get in all the little
crevices like that, couldn't you?Copy !req
180. Yeah, I could, couldn't I?Copy !req
181. Something to think about when
the acting work dries up for you.Copy !req
182. Why would you say that
in front of...?Copy !req
183. Right, that's done. Now,
we've just got to get it out. Um...Copy !req
184. I've got a sack truck downstairs,
I'll go down and get that.Copy !req
185. Here we go.Copy !req
186. Right, you go round behind
and tip it backwards.Copy !req
187. Right, tip it backwards.Copy !req
188. Yeah. There we go.Copy !req
189. Look at that! Easy.Copy !req
190. Here we go.Copy !req
191. Can't leave that there.Copy !req
192. Thank you.Copy !req
193. Here, hold on.Copy !req
194. Yeah, this looks like a good spot.
Perfect.Copy !req
195. It says you can't tip here.Copy !req
196. Yeah, well, the plumber said
he couldn't unplumb it, but he could.Copy !req
197. I'm sick of these arbitrary rules.Copy !req
198. Good.Copy !req
199. Do you want to dump these as well?
What's that?Copy !req
200. They're the instructions. They were
inside the washing machine.Copy !req
201. What, inside that? Yeah.Copy !req
202. That's the new one! I know.Copy !req
203. I wondered why you were dumping
that one.Copy !req
204. Aaah! Fuck!
And you didn't say anything? Ah!Copy !req
205. So, do you want these or not?Copy !req
206. F...!Copy !req
207. Yeah, hello. Is that Rent-a-Star?Copy !req
208. Yeah, I'm Warwick DavisCopy !req
209. and I'm looking to hire some
celebrities for a party I'm having.Copy !req
210. Yeah, now,
I'm looking at your website andCopy !req
211. I see you've got Gary Busey,
Daniel Baldwin, Brigitte Nielson.Copy !req
212. Do you have anyone that hasn't
been in celebrity rehab?Copy !req
213. There will be drink at the party,
I don't want any trouble.Copy !req
214. Right, there's a page two. Oh, yeah.
George Takei, that's Sulu.Copy !req
215. Erik Estrada, yeah, he's from Chips.
Who's Antonio Fargas?Copy !req
216. Huggy Bear?Copy !req
217. OK, have you got any actors
that have actuallyCopy !req
218. acted in something in the last
ten to 15 years?Copy !req
219. No? What about TV presenters?
Now, Cat Deeley interests me.Copy !req
220. She's not a drunk or a junkieCopy !req
221. and people under
the age of 50 have heard of her.Copy !req
222. Yeah, how much would she cost?Copy !req
223. Bear in mind, I'm in the business,Copy !req
224. so what's the best price
you can do on Deeley?Copy !req
225. Oh. Come in. Push the door.Copy !req
226. Push it.Copy !req
227. There we are, welcome. Thank you.
Ah, the great showbiz party.Copy !req
228. I must say, I'm very excited.Copy !req
229. I'm looking forward to
all the superstars.Copy !req
230. Well, welcome to the castle.
Food's over there. Drinks that way.Copy !req
231. Help yourselves. Good.Copy !req
232. Yes! Right, push the door. Come on.
Push. That's it. Welcome, come on in.Copy !req
233. Shut the door now.Copy !req
234. Here we go, everyone, over here.
Look at this, look who it is.Copy !req
235. It's only the beautiful Cat Deeley.
Yeah.Copy !req
236. Just another guest at my party, here.
Wow.Copy !req
237. Here she is. Cat Deeley, everyone.Copy !req
238. That's it.Copy !req
239. Not the reaction I thought you'd get,
but thanks for being here. Oh...Copy !req
240. Don't tell people you're hired. What?Copy !req
241. Don't tell people
I've paid for you to be here.Copy !req
242. Just say you're one of my showbiz
friends. But how would we have met?Copy !req
243. Well, I don't know,
some Hollywood party.Copy !req
244. Do you go to Hollywood parties?Copy !req
245. Yeah, I go to Hollywood parties,
babe, yeah.Copy !req
246. Long before you were born.Copy !req
247. So, I don't know, just say you're
a big fan of mine. All right?Copy !req
248. Come on, then. That's it.
Mingle, will you? Yup. OK.Copy !req
249. Ian, Sue, have you met the beautiful
Cat Deeley? Hello, nice to meet you.Copy !req
250. Nice to meet you. Hello.Copy !req
251. I still really like that show
that you used to do in the morningsCopy !req
252. with Ant and Dec.Copy !req
253. Oh, thanks.
So, what are they really like then?Copy !req
254. Don't really want
to talk about those guys.Copy !req
255. Cat, can I have word? Just..Copy !req
256. In case you've forgotten,Copy !req
257. I'm paying you an awful lot of money
to be here tonight,Copy !req
258. so if people want to talk about Ant
and Dec, you talk about Ant and Dec.Copy !req
259. Capiche?Copy !req
260. Good, come on then.Copy !req
261. So, you were talking about Ant
and Dec, weren't you? Oh, it's fine.Copy !req
262. She doesn't mind. She'll...Copy !req
263. What do you think of the show
they're doing now?Copy !req
264. The one in the jungle, is it?
I'm A Celebrity... Yeah.Copy !req
265. I don't really watch it.
Cat, can I have another word?Copy !req
266. I don't even work
on the jungle show.Copy !req
267. You must have an opinion.
I think it's pretty good.Copy !req
268. Well, say that when people ask. God!Copy !req
269. GENERAL CHATTERCopy !req
270. Hello, Cat Deeley. Hi.
I am Warwick's accountant. Right.Copy !req
271. Yeah. Got some other
clients as well. Uh-huh.Copy !req
272. Four other clients, no, three.Copy !req
273. No four, including me,
cos I do my own books. Right.Copy !req
274. You got an accountant? Yeah.
Happy with them? Very.Copy !req
275. Yeah, what if I told youCopy !req
276. you could get away with never
having to pay VAT?Copy !req
277. That's illegal, isn't it? Yup,
it is, you can't get away with that.Copy !req
278. Want to go out with me sometime?Copy !req
279. No. No?
Well, do you want to take my card,Copy !req
280. in case you need a new accountant?
No.Copy !req
281. No? Nah.Copy !req
282. No, not after asking you out.
And the illegal VAT stuff.Copy !req
283. I've muddled things, asking you out
and asking for your business.Copy !req
284. I should have done one or the other.
I always do that. That's my problem.Copy !req
285. I want to make money
and I want a shag.Copy !req
286. I end up getting neither. Oh.Copy !req
287. No chance with either with you,
did I? No. Nah.Copy !req
288. Oh.Copy !req
289. Oh. My life.
I wouldn't wish it on...Copy !req
290. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.Copy !req
291. You know what, sometimes, I think
I should just go down to my bankCopy !req
292. and get out all my savings in cash,
spend it all on prostitutes...Copy !req
293. and then kill myself.Copy !req
294. Don't think I haven't
thought of that many a time.Copy !req
295. Having fun? Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
296. So...Copy !req
297. Are you and Cat Deeley an item,
then?Copy !req
298. Why? You're not jealous, are you?
No, no, she's...Copy !req
299. she's very glamorous.Copy !req
300. Look, I didn't want to say too much,
but, um...Copy !req
301. you've rumbled us.Copy !req
302. How long's that been going on?
Long enough. Hmm.Copy !req
303. Yeah, is it a rebound thing?
Who knows?Copy !req
304. But, um, you've still got first dibs
on me, but the clock is ticking.Copy !req
305. I just don't want her to get hurt.Copy !req
306. Cat! What? Here she is.Copy !req
307. What you doing? Just putting
my arm round you. Round my leg?Copy !req
308. Can't reach your waist,
can I? Well, don't.Copy !req
309. She doesn't like public
displays of affection.Copy !req
310. But, er, yeah, we are an item.Copy !req
311. You don't tweet, do you? No.
No, no, it's...Copy !req
312. You know, if it ever got out, eurgh,
it'd be a media meltdown and,Copy !req
313. yeah, I don't want that.Copy !req
314. Protecting her, really.Copy !req
315. So, um, just,
keep it under your hat, yeah?Copy !req
316. All right, lads? I, er, embarrassed
myself with Cat Deeley. How?Copy !req
317. I asked her out, then started
talking about fiddling her taxCopy !req
318. and killing myself.Copy !req
319. All over the place.
Yeah, not focused.Copy !req
320. How would you kill yourself?Copy !req
321. Blow all my money on prossies,
then a gun in the mouth.Copy !req
322. It's a classic. What about you, Les?
Definitely pills.Copy !req
323. That's the way I'm going to do it.
I've heard you just slip away.Copy !req
324. You've got to be careful,
though, that you don't wake up,Copy !req
325. because you can get brain damage
and your kidneys can go.Copy !req
326. What about you? Just car
in the garage, hose on the exhaust.Copy !req
327. I've got heated seats,
so I'd be comfy.Copy !req
328. Yeah. Keith? Er, best guess for me?Copy !req
329. Probably a wanking incident.Copy !req
330. You know, the old, er, belt round
the door handle job?Copy !req
331. Uh...Copy !req
332. Knocking one out.Copy !req
333. Orgasm.Copy !req
334. Joke.Copy !req
335. Dead.Copy !req
336. Yeah. Actually, I'm going
to change my mind.Copy !req
337. I think that's the best way to go.
If you're going to do it, do that.Copy !req
338. Excuse me. What,
you going to knock one out now?Copy !req
339. Yeah. Once I've got that idea
in my head, I can't get rid of it.Copy !req
340. Oh.Copy !req
341. Lots of TV people, aren't there?
Uh-huh. Media people. Uh-huh.Copy !req
342. It's all very glamorous and creative.
Uh-huh. You fitting in OK? Yup.Copy !req
343. Don't suppose you've heard
the rumour about me and Cat Deeley?Copy !req
344. Who's Cat Deeley?
I introduced you earlier.Copy !req
345. The tall, blonde, you know, she...Copy !req
346. She's always on the TV.
Oh, I don't have a television.Copy !req
347. You don't have a TV?
No, just books.Copy !req
348. Well, if you did... But I don't.Copy !req
349. If you did, you'd realise she's quite
a famous person to be going out with.Copy !req
350. But I don't.Copy !req
351. Push the door.Copy !req
352. Hi. Hi, Warwick. How's it going?
Good, thanks. Nice place. Yeah.Copy !req
353. Do you want a drink? Yes, please.
It's all over there. Help yourself.Copy !req
354. No, he's very special...Copy !req
355. All right, Keith?Copy !req
356. You don't tweet, do you? Yeah, I do.Copy !req
357. Oh, no.Copy !req
358. You haven't tweeted that me and
Cat Deeley are going out, have you?Copy !req
359. Of course not.Copy !req
360. Oh, depends what you've seen.Copy !req
361. You haven't seen me
and her together then? No.Copy !req
362. You didn't see me touch her legs? No.
Well, I did. Leg hug.Copy !req
363. I didn't see that.Copy !req
364. Well, pay attention then,
to what's going on under your nose,Copy !req
365. and if it's of interest, tweet it.Copy !req
366. Sometimes, I look at the moon
and I do find thatCopy !req
367. I feel like when the tides are high
and the lunar moon's out,Copy !req
368. I feel a little bit... like...Copy !req
369. frisky.Copy !req
370. Yeah.Copy !req
371. The guy from Family Fortunes. Hello,
I'm Amy. Hello. Hi, Amy, I'm Sue.Copy !req
372. Hi. Ian Wald. Oh, hi, Ian.
Ian, my partner. Oh.Copy !req
373. How do you guys know Warwick? I used
to be married to him. Oh, that's...Copy !req
374. And I'm suing him. Yeah.
Effectively. OK. He's my solicitor.Copy !req
375. Supervising the divorce.Copy !req
376. That must save you a bit of
money, going out with your lawyer.Copy !req
377. No, I'm still paying him, you know.
Well, yeah, but we'll get it back.Copy !req
378. Oh. So, how do you know Warwick?
Do you work with him?Copy !req
379. No, we just met through
a dating agency. Dating agency?Copy !req
380. Been on a couple of dates,
which have been quite eventful.Copy !req
381. This is our third.Copy !req
382. That's strange, Warwick,Copy !req
383. cos I thought you were going out
with Cat Deeley?Copy !req
384. What?Copy !req
385. That's what you said, isn't it?Copy !req
386. You're going out with Cat Deeley?Copy !req
387. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Er...Copy !req
388. Should have probably said something,
um, but, yeah.Copy !req
389. Me and Cat are, kind of, but,
but look, come on, babe.Copy !req
390. You knew
when you got involved with meCopy !req
391. you were dealing with a player,
didn't you?Copy !req
392. And, er, don't hate the player,
hate the game.Copy !req
393. OK, er, I'll give you a holler, yeah?Copy !req
394. Sorry, Warwick, did I put you in it?Copy !req
395. Nah.Copy !req
396. Yeah, we had a few laughs,
but, you know,Copy !req
397. I never said she wouldn't get hurt.Copy !req
398. Chick like Cat Deeley comes along,
you have to say bye-bye.Copy !req
399. But, you know,
same thing could happen to Deeley.Copy !req
400. I could home one day, Deeley's there,Copy !req
401. "Hi, Warwick, I made your favourite
dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese."Copy !req
402. "Mmm, lovely. By the way,
I'm sleeping with J-Lo,Copy !req
403. "you're moving out tomorrow."Copy !req
404. Cat? Do you find it difficult
being in LA half the year?Copy !req
405. I mean, do you miss Warwick?
Do I miss Warwick?Copy !req
406. Yeah, is it hard to maintain
a relationship? Relationship?Copy !req
407. Yeah, we don't use that word.
What do you mean, relationship?Copy !req
408. Yeah, we don't use that word,
so let's not repeat it.Copy !req
409. Sorry, I thought you were going
out with Warwick?Copy !req
410. Why did you think that? Er... Been
some rumours. How did they start?Copy !req
411. I don't know, but let's just leave
this now, shall we?Copy !req
412. I've already sent one girl home
crying, I don't want any more tears.Copy !req
413. Have you been telling people that
we're going out? Er...Copy !req
414. Excuse me, everybody. Can I have
everybody's attention, please?Copy !req
415. Um, has anyone heard the rumour
that I'm going out with Warwick?Copy !req
416. Put your hands up. Show me,
put your hands up.Copy !req
417. Well, it's totally unfounded.
It's ridiculous.Copy !req
418. I would never go out with
Warwick Davis. Is that clear?Copy !req
419. Everyone, is that completely clear?Copy !req
420. Yes.Copy !req
421. OK, thanks for coming, everyone,
party's over.Copy !req
422. Deeley's thrown a strop.Copy !req
423. Everyone out.Copy !req
424. Cat, can you keep the noise down?
Can I go yet?Copy !req
425. No, I paid you till midnight.Copy !req
426. Wasted five grand on her.Copy !req
427. Look at that. What's that on my shoe?Copy !req
428. It's a pilchard.Copy !req
429. Yeah, I was hungry,
so I opened a tin of pilchards.Copy !req
430. I couldn't work your microwave,
so I had to eat them cold.Copy !req
431. This day couldn't get any worse.Copy !req
432. Cat, get a mop.Copy !req
433. It won't happen again. But I feel
like it will happen again, Warwick.Copy !req
434. It won't, I promise.Copy !req
435. Are you satisfied?
Yes. In every way.Copy !req
436. No need for smut.
Give me five grand, just to live on.Copy !req
437. It looks like my fortunesCopy !req
438. are turning.Copy !req
439. What does an event like this
mean to you?Copy !req
440. It means I can't be at homeCopy !req
441. in my pants getting drunk.Copy !req
442. Not many people get the chance to
delight Sting, do they?Copy !req
443. Warwick hasn't bid yet.
Sting grassing me up.Copy !req
444. I'm here with Big Keith from
The Office. Keith... It's Ewan.Copy !req
445. Sorry?Copy !req
446. Big Keith is just the character
name, I'm actually nothing like him.Copy !req
447. Sorry, Ewan, of course. So, does
this charity mean a lot to you then?Copy !req
448. Good. And, obviously,
it's a great cause.Copy !req
449. And you'll be hoping that the
auction raises a lot of money?Copy !req
450. Yes.Copy !req
451. OK, great chat,
thanks very much for that.Copy !req