1. Hello, Dwarves for Hire.Copy !req
2. 'My name is Warwick Davis.Copy !req
3. 'I'm an actor...'Copy !req
4. He smells. I think you'll find
it's the bin.Copy !req
5. 'An entrepreneur...'Copy !req
6. Signed DVDs of The Office,
only 30 quid.Copy !req
7. 'Soon to be divorced...'
I wanted to be a nurse.Copy !req
8. Do we really need any more nurses?Copy !req
9. 'Oh, and I've got
a massive tax bill...'Copy !req
10. Would you be better off dead? Yes!Copy !req
11. I'm out flat-hunting this morning.Copy !req
12. Got tired of crashing with friends.Copy !req
13. I'm 41 years old, I need a new crib.Copy !req
14. Estate agents will always try
and screw you.Copy !req
15. Now, you want them to think
they need you a lot more
than you need them.Copy !req
16. You know, if they say,
"Nice place, isn't it?", you go,
"Hmm, not sure."Copy !req
17. Even if it's perfect, always find
a problem. You understand?Copy !req
18. Yep.Copy !req
19. This is how we'll play it.Copy !req
20. You're my right-hand woman
and you ask all the questions.Copy !req
21. It'll seem like I'm too
important even to talk.Copy !req
22. No-one knows what I'm thinking.Copy !req
23. As far as the estate agent's
concerned, I'm just some cool dude
with short arms and deep pockets.Copy !req
24. Yeah.Copy !req
25. Lovely, isn't it?Copy !req
26. Yeah.Copy !req
27. No.Copy !req
28. No?Copy !req
29. No, but it's him you've got
to please.Copy !req
30. What do you think?Copy !req
31. No-one knows what he's thinking. He
doesn't even know what he's thinking.Copy !req
32. I know! He knows. For him to know
and you to find out.Copy !req
33. And don't charge him too much,Copy !req
34. cos he's got tiny little arms and
so he can't reach his pockets.Copy !req
35. That's not what I said.
I said that, oh, er...Copy !req
36. I've got short arms
and deep pockets.Copy !req
37. Shall we have a look round
the rest of the flat? Mm-hmm.Copy !req
38. Problems.Copy !req
39. What? Find a problem, remember?Copy !req
40. Sorry, I can see some problems.Copy !req
41. Problems? Like what?Copy !req
42. What if he, um, runs into that
while he's playing?Copy !req
43. Playing? Playing.Copy !req
44. Well, no, what, what she means is,
is, is that I...Copy !req
45. I'm a player, you know,
like a playboy player, yeah?Copy !req
46. But don't worry,
there'll be no trouble.Copy !req
47. Settled down now, respectable,
no more chasing the girls.Copy !req
48. He was always chasing the girls.Copy !req
49. Mm-hmm. Was he?Copy !req
50. Yeah. But not in a scary little
rapey way.Copy !req
51. And he wouldn't do anything
if he caught them.Copy !req
52. I mean, there's nothing of any
importance he could reach
on a girl, anyway.Copy !req
53. Unless they fell over while
he was chasing them, then
he could touch them everywhere.Copy !req
54. Weren't we're having a look
round? Yeah. Shall we just...Copy !req
55. Oh, there's a kitchen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
56. It's all mod-cons.Copy !req
57. Fan-assisted oven.Copy !req
58. OK.Copy !req
59. Fridge freezer, very big,
lots of room.Copy !req
60. Is this microwave radioactive? Sorry?Copy !req
61. Are microwaves radioactive?Copy !req
62. What's that? That's a drainer
for plates. Oh!Copy !req
63. Do you like your job?Copy !req
64. It's great, especially when
you're showing flats like this.Copy !req
65. At the point that we do take the
house... Mm-hmm, the flat, mm-hmm.Copy !req
66. Do you think that, um, at any point
we'd be able to haveCopy !req
67. some kind of, like, moving in,
kind of ceremony?Copy !req
68. Do you mean like cutting the ribbon
at the door?Copy !req
69. No, I mean like a ceremony,
a kind of blessing of the flat.Copy !req
70. Yes, I'm sure that would be...
that would be fine.Copy !req
71. Here's another problem. What?Copy !req
72. Look, problem. Hey, look,
flag it up. Oh.Copy !req
73. Um, excuse me,
I've found another problem.Copy !req
74. What's that?Copy !req
75. Can you see the problem here?
He's, um, too short.Copy !req
76. No, I'm not too short, it,
it's too high.Copy !req
77. For you. It's fine for us, look.Copy !req
78. Yeah, well, you won't be living here
will you? It'll have to be changed.Copy !req
79. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
80. Sorry, would you mind if I just use
the toilet? Yep.Copy !req
81. Thank you.Copy !req
82. Well, go on.Copy !req
83. Got a nice little communal garden
here. Yeah, this is really nice.Copy !req
84. It's quite private, nobody comes
out here, all busy working.Copy !req
85. I tell you what. You know, um,
if we get, um, this place
sorted properly?Copy !req
86. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Copy !req
87. Er, we could get some tracks down
and, er,Copy !req
88. we could have a little
sports day event for himCopy !req
89. and his friends, for Warwick
and his friends.Copy !req
90. Yeah, that's a great...
Do some relay races.Copy !req
91. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
92. Um, anything. We could do hopscotch.
Yeah.Copy !req
93. You don't get any sort of, like,
things in here that are going to
eat him or anything?Copy !req
94. No, no, no.Copy !req
95. No. It's fine, it's very, very safe.
But I mean, are you sure?Copy !req
96. You've got the exit over there.
It's my job to make sure it's safe.Copy !req
97. Cheryl!Copy !req
98. What?Copy !req
99. Oh! Ow! Fucking, pissing sock now.Copy !req
100. Get here and help me down!Copy !req
101. Jeez, I've been trapped in
'ere ages. Fucking... Oh!Copy !req
102. Oh, I've been trying to get your
attention. Get out! Don't look!Copy !req
103. You getting all this?
Don't shut the door!Copy !req
104. Oh!Copy !req
105. I'm doing this round table
meeting at Sue's request.Copy !req
106. She's started divorce proceedings.Copy !req
107. I can't afford a lawyer, so I'm
being represented by my accountant.Copy !req
108. Warwick? Mm-hmm. Ian Walt.
Nice to meet you. Hello.Copy !req
109. I'm Sue's solicitor, Ian Walt.
And you are?Copy !req
110. He's MY solicitor.Copy !req
111. Not really, he can't afford
a solicitor. I'm his accountant!Copy !req
112. I have to advise you,Copy !req
113. you really should retain
a proper qualified solicitor.Copy !req
114. He studied law as well. Yep, one
term at the University of Bolton.Copy !req
115. Haven't heard of that school.
Did it used to be a polytechnic?Copy !req
116. No, I think it used to be
a launderette!Copy !req
117. No, seriously, it was a shit-hole,
but I wasn't cut out for law,
anyway.Copy !req
118. Too hard!Copy !req
119. You know what I'd like to do?
You know those big rigs
you get in America?Copy !req
120. I'd like to get behind a wheel
of one of them and just drive
across country,Copy !req
121. and sort of imagine myself driving
along, and seeing an old shack,Copy !req
122. and driving straight through it,
and wood and chickensCopy !req
123. flying everywhere and people
shouting, "Hey look at that guy!"Copy !req
124. Sorry, sorry. Can you just put
your dreams on hold for now
and focus on this?Copy !req
125. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
sorry, sorry.Copy !req
126. Um, so what's the usual split?
About half and half?Copy !req
127. Well, that's what we're here
to negotiate.Copy !req
128. Yeah, gotcha, yeah. Erm, so...Copy !req
129. 'I'm not seeing this
as a final chapter.Copy !req
130. 'I'm seeing this as a chance
to listen to her complaints,Copy !req
131. 'make amends and start again.'Copy !req
132. Depending on what the complaints
are. If it's leaving the toilet seat
up, fine, won't do it again.Copy !req
133. If it's, "Must try harder in the
bedroom," forget it. I couldn't.Copy !req
134. I've been working me bloody socks
off, love. I'll have a coronary.Copy !req
135. Any more effort on my part
and you'll open your eyes
to a dead dwarf slumped on you.Copy !req
136. There's loads of jobs I'd like to do
before accountancy.Copy !req
137. River police.Copy !req
138. How do you get into being river
police? I'd love to do that.Copy !req
139. "Oh, what's that? Dead body."Copy !req
140. Get it out, it's a tramp.
"Has he been murdered?Copy !req
141. "Looks like it. He's been raped."Copy !req
142. We don't know.Copy !req
143. So Sue says you're a famous actor.
Well, you tell me.Copy !req
144. I've not heard of you.
Are you famous?Copy !req
145. Yes. Sue says you've been
in some films? Some films?Copy !req
146. Have you heard of Star Wars
and Return Of The Jedi?Copy !req
147. Yes. Yeah. The Harry Potter films,
you heard of those? Yes.Copy !req
148. And, er, have you heard of a film
called Willow? No.Copy !req
149. No? No, I've never heard of Willow.
Were you in that?Copy !req
150. I was the star of that, yes.Copy !req
151. No, I've never heard of Willow.
Right.Copy !req
152. Not many people have. It was not
a success. It was a success!Copy !req
153. Not really. Return Of The Jedi
was a success. I was in that.
What were you in that?Copy !req
154. I was an Ewok.
So your face was covered up?Copy !req
155. Yes, it was... I don't remember
seeing you in Harry Potter, either.Copy !req
156. Yeah, I was Professor Flitwick.Copy !req
157. You couldn't really see his face.
If you'd seen Willow,
my face was in that.Copy !req
158. As I said, I've not seen
Willow, or heard of it.Copy !req
159. No. And as I said, no-one has,
so don't feel too bad.Copy !req
160. Have you heard of a little show
called The Office?Copy !req
161. Were you in that? No, but I was in
Extras, made by the same blokes.Copy !req
162. Oh, I didn't see it.Copy !req
163. Didn't you?
Oh, I didn't like it.Copy !req
164. It was just a sitcom where famous
people popped up as themselves.Copy !req
165. I must be pretty famous
or they wouldn't have had me in it.Copy !req
166. Yeah, it wasn't clear if you were
supposed to be famous.
Did they mention your name?Copy !req
167. You were a prop,
basically you were a prop.Copy !req
168. Sorry, why are we discussing my CV?Copy !req
169. Can we just get back to this?Copy !req
170. We are still trying to lobby
the Government to fundCopy !req
171. our community outreach programme,
and some people have asked me
how you can get involved.Copy !req
172. Well, we do need some volunteers
to leaflet outside Parliament
this Saturday.Copy !req
173. Oh, yeah, that reminds me, actually.Copy !req
174. Never mind doing something for no
money, that won't change anything.Copy !req
175. I'm looking for a couple
of volunteers, cos my lotCopy !req
176. have got a bit militant lately and,
er, I've got a gig this Saturday,
Students' Union,Copy !req
177. ã150 cash-in-hand.Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. All it is, is you're a human
bowling ball, basically.Copy !req
180. You're in your pants, you're
greased up, slung along the floor
by some pissed-up students.Copy !req
181. Easy money. Warwick, sorry.Copy !req
182. I don't think this is the right place
to recruit for that.Copy !req
183. It's perfect, there's loads
of dwarves here.Copy !req
184. What I mean is
you're the Vice-Chairman.Copy !req
185. You're a spokesperson for little
people, yet when we're trying to
get things like dwarf-tossing bannedCopy !req
186. from rugby clubs
and university rag weeks,Copy !req
187. you're the one hiring out
those dwarves to be thrown.Copy !req
188. I want people to see a little person,
wonder if he's a doctor or a lawyer,Copy !req
189. not wonder which cannon
he's going to be fired from today.Copy !req
190. 'The trouble with Anthony Braden is
he's giving little people
false hopes.'Copy !req
191. I've seen him say to young dwarves
in there, "Oh, you can be
an astronaut or a doctor."Copy !req
192. No, they can't, they're too small.
Not going to be a doctor.Copy !req
193. Can be a proctologist, maybe.Copy !req
194. Then he'll be on his high horse
again, "No, why can they only
be proctologists?"Copy !req
195. Cos the only thing they can reach
is the arse. And I'll have
all these disillusioned dwarvesCopy !req
196. crawling back to me, "Oh, don't want
to spend me days doing that,
I want to be in the movies."Copy !req
197. Well, no, you're too late,
you had your chance,
now get back to those arses.Copy !req
198. Warwick, it worries me
that maybe you're notCopy !req
199. the best spokesperson for
our community and for our needs.Copy !req
200. Maybe you're not the right person.Copy !req
201. Maybe there's a grass roots uprising
that says the old guy's lost it,Copy !req
202. let's have some new blood.Copy !req
203. Maybe I should be the Chairman.
Everyone's entitled to run
for this position.Copy !req
204. Let's do it, then.Copy !req
205. I hereby declare myself running
for officeCopy !req
206. and I second that.Copy !req
207. You can't second yourself.Copy !req
208. No?Copy !req
209. All right, then, who seconds me?
Come on.Copy !req
210. See?Copy !req
211. They don't know what
time of day it is.Copy !req
212. I'll second you, Warwick.Copy !req
213. Really? Yes, and we'll let
democracy decideCopy !req
214. with a vote next week.Copy !req
215. Well, will they decide, though?
I mean, will they remember?Copy !req
216. Are they even awake?Copy !req
217. Sorry to bother you.
Can I get a picture?Copy !req
218. Yeah, sure, anything for a fan.Copy !req
219. Fan? Yeah. Fan of what?Copy !req
220. Fan of me.Copy !req
221. Why? Who are you?Copy !req
222. Warwick Davis, obviously,
famous actor.Copy !req
223. Well, if you don't know who
I am, why do you want a picture?Copy !req
224. It's funny, isn't it?
A dwarf carrying a box.
You don't see that round here.Copy !req
225. Actually, do you mind if I film you?
Why?Copy !req
226. Cos that's even funnier!
No, it's not funny.Copy !req
227. Oh, yeah, it does look funny,
actually. Sorry, um, we're filming.Copy !req
228. We're not filming. Yeah we are,
it's running. Are you moving in
round here?Copy !req
229. I'm having second thoughts.
We'll be neighbours. Excellent.
Still filming, are you? Yeah.Copy !req
230. Oh, that is so going on YouTube!Copy !req
231. Definitely! Not definitely, no.Copy !req
232. Hello again.
Sorry, what's your name again?Copy !req
233. Ian Walt.Copy !req
234. Oh, Ian. Nice to have you here
in my house.Copy !req
235. You don't live here any more.
It's still my house, though.Copy !req
236. So you enjoying it, then? Enjoying
the house? Enjoying my house?Copy !req
237. It's lovely. Good.Copy !req
238. What did you want?Copy !req
239. I just popped round to, er, to get,
um...Copy !req
240. my baseball cap.Copy !req
241. Gift from Mr Ron Howard.Copy !req
242. Who's Ron Howard?Copy !req
243. The director of Willow. Oh,
I've not seen it. Yeah, you said.
I'll get you the DVD.Copy !req
244. Sorry, are you wearing slippers?Copy !req
245. Yes.Copy !req
246. Is it normal to be round a client's
house doing paperwork wearing
slippers?Copy !req
247. Everyone's different.Copy !req
248. What lawyer wears slippers?
I've just never seen that before.Copy !req
249. On LA Law they didn't wear
slippers. Perry Mason
never had slippers on.Copy !req
250. Even in Ironside he never had
slippers, and he was
in a wheelchair.Copy !req
251. He didn't even need shoes
and he still wore shoes.Copy !req
252. You should probably get going, then.Copy !req
253. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.
Um, you leaving, too, Ian?Copy !req
254. No.Copy !req
255. Just "no"? No more information?
Just leaving soon or...?Copy !req
256. What difference does it make if
he's going now or later?Copy !req
257. Because we're both drivers,
so, you know, let's drive.Copy !req
258. Shall I, shall I just wait outside
for you?Copy !req
259. No need.Copy !req
260. Shall we...?Copy !req
261. Not forget this.Copy !req
262. Really haven't got long, I'm afraid,
Warwick. No.Copy !req
263. We've got a Skype call coming
through and it's...Copy !req
264. Great. Well, what can we do for you?Copy !req
265. Advice, really.Copy !req
266. Right.Copy !req
267. I'm a bit worried about my wife
and her lawyer.Copy !req
268. I think there might be something
going on.Copy !req
269. What, the lawyer who's representing
your wife while she sues you for
divorce?Copy !req
270. Yeah, that's the one. See my point?
I don't know why you care any more.
OK.Copy !req
271. Slippers.Copy !req
272. In what way?Copy !req
273. Oh!Copy !req
274. Hi, Steve. Hello. How's it going
man?Copy !req
275. Steve Carell.
Thanks for doing this.Copy !req
276. You obviously got my email
about the guest appearances.Copy !req
277. I'm not just saying thisCopy !req
278. because I've got a financial
stake in the show.Copy !req
279. I really think it'd be good for your
career to do the occasional guest
appearance in The Office.Copy !req
280. Obviously you can still do
your films as well.Copy !req
281. Of course. But, you know, if you did
agree to even infrequent guest
spots,Copy !req
282. the network said they would
guarantee two more seasons,Copy !req
283. um, which is obviously incredibly
lucrative, er... For everyone.Copy !req
284. Yeah, yeah. Um, you know what,
let me think about it.Copy !req
285. I will definitely consider it.Copy !req
286. Cheers, man. Great. Brilliant.Copy !req
287. We're in LA Thursday, if you
want to do dinner and have a chat.Copy !req
288. Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
I'd love to.Copy !req
289. Brilliant. See you then. See you.Copy !req
290. OK, good, see you later. Bye. Bye.Copy !req
291. I must say, makes me laugh a bit
that he's a household nameCopy !req
292. because of the show, and now
I've got to beg him to do
the odd guest spot.Copy !req
293. He should be begging me.
Luckiest fucking actor in the world.Copy !req
294. Yeah.Copy !req
295. You still there, Steve?Copy !req
296. Yeah.Copy !req
297. Sorry, man. I, I thought
I'd... I thought I'd hung up.Copy !req
298. No.Copy !req
299. No, you didn't.Copy !req
300. I just turned the screen off,
I thought I'd hung up.Copy !req
301. I'm really, um...Copy !req
302. Do you still want to do dinner?Copy !req
303. Mm, no.Copy !req
304. Be awkward, wouldn't it?Copy !req
305. Yeah, it would be.Copy !req
306. Will you think about the guest
appearances? Er, no.Copy !req
307. Dead in the water, that one.
It is, definitely dead. There's no
way that's going to happen.Copy !req
308. OK, cheers. Bye, then. Bye.
Bye-bye, now.Copy !req
309. Why was he listening?Copy !req
310. I'll tell you why he was listening...
cos he's an actor,Copy !req
311. and like all actors he's a little,
paranoid,Copy !req
312. insecure, little fucker.Copy !req
313. Are you still listening, Steve?Copy !req
314. I am, I am still listening
to you talking.Copy !req
315. OK. You shouldn't be listening, not
if we're not friends any more, mate.Copy !req
316. OK. Steve, before you go,
I'm a big fan.Copy !req
317. Hey, that's really nice, thanks.Copy !req
318. You could always hang up this time,
to make absolutely sure.Copy !req
319. That's true. OK. Bye.Copy !req
320. He's gone. Is it off? Yeah,
definitely. I was pressing
the wrong thing.Copy !req
321. Love Steve Carell. Do you?
He's terrific. Yeah.
Everyone loves him.Copy !req
322. Not really, no. Most do.Copy !req
323. Idiotic thing to say. With
six billion people on the planet,Copy !req
324. how are they all going
to love one person?Copy !req
325. A lot of them do.
Look at the American Office.Copy !req
326. What is it, ten million viewers
it gets?Copy !req
327. Ten million... Watching him.
Tune in and see my name on
the credits.Copy !req
328. They watch it for him, though.
Not really.Copy !req
329. It wouldn't exist without me,
and HE wouldn't exist without IT.Copy !req
330. Ipso facto, I don't know what you're
talking about.Copy !req
331. Well, he's got
likeability, though.Copy !req
332. He's a popular chap. You're more
of an acquired taste.Copy !req
333. Not everyone's into everything
you do.Copy !req
334. My accountant, right,
absolutely hated Extras.Copy !req
335. Just thought it was a sitcom where
famous people pop up as themselves.Copy !req
336. I'm just saying not everyone's
into everything you do.Copy !req
337. Sorry, I've forgotten why
you're here, again.Copy !req
338. Maybe it's the fact that I've just
lost 20 million on the new
syndication deal.Copy !req
339. But go on, remind me.Copy !req
340. I was talking about my wife and her
lawyer. How can I be sure there's
nothing going on?Copy !req
341. You can't. You're getting a divorce.
Move on.Copy !req
342. I mean, what are you going to do,
camp outside the house,Copy !req
343. spying on them like
Inch High Private Eye?Copy !req
344. Yeah, you know, you're right.
I'm being silly.Copy !req
345. All right?Copy !req
346. Cosy.Copy !req
347. Slippers.Copy !req
348. Warwick.Copy !req
349. What? What are you doing here?Copy !req
350. Just want to get some of
my belongings.Copy !req
351. Like what?Copy !req
352. Like my...Copy !req
353. Oh, yeah, my award there,
from Guts.com.Copy !req
354. One of the internet's most
respected horror movie websites.Copy !req
355. What did you win?Copy !req
356. Best Actor, and Best Supporting
Actor in an independently funded
British horror movie.Copy !req
357. Is it possible to win Best Actor
AND Best Supporting Actor?Copy !req
358. Yeah. Yeah if you play both Midge,
the loveable children's clown,Copy !req
359. AND his lycanthropic Siamese twin.Copy !req
360. What, you don't know what that
means, do you?Copy !req
361. Lycanthropy, yes, it means
he changes into a wolf.
You played both parts?Copy !req
362. Yeah, it's easy.Copy !req
363. When they were both normal,
I played both characters using
a split-screen effect.Copy !req
364. When one of them changes into a wolf
they just strapped me to a dog.Copy !req
365. What was the film called?Copy !req
366. Weredwarf. Haven't seen it.
What HAVE you seen?Copy !req
367. Sorry, just, sorry. Do you really
need this award right now?Copy !req
368. Yes, I do.Copy !req
369. Would you like me to get it down
for you? No.Copy !req
370. I can get it.
No. It's, it's fine, I can manage.Copy !req
371. You all right?Copy !req
372. Mm hm.Copy !req
373. Cool.Copy !req
374. Oh! Ah! Oh, oh!Copy !req
375. Agh!Copy !req
376. Warwick, for goodness sake, just
let me get it down for you.Copy !req
377. It'd have been fine if it'd been
on that shelf. I don't know why it's
that high up, it's ridiculous.Copy !req
378. Would you want me
to put it on that shelf?Copy !req
379. Were you going to put it
on that shelf, anyway?Copy !req
380. Yes, I was going to put it on that
shelf later.Copy !req
381. Well, if you're going to put it
there anyway, then put it there
now, of course.Copy !req
382. Oh, for goodness sake!
I can't reach it.Copy !req
383. Can I ask Ian to get it for me?Copy !req
384. Well, if he just hands it to you,
yes.Copy !req
385. Can you just hand this to me,
please, Ian?Copy !req
386. Sure.Copy !req
387. There you go. Thank you.Copy !req
388. Right. Put it where you want to
put it.Copy !req
389. Right. I'm putting it there.Copy !req
390. Oh, good. It's on that shelf now,
that's where it is.Copy !req
391. Go, carry on with your tea.Copy !req
392. Right, good.Copy !req
393. Um, what did I come for?Copy !req
394. Um, oh, yeah. There it is,
I'll just take that. Good.Copy !req
395. See you.Copy !req
396. If you re-elect me, one of my main
priorities will be to make the SPSSCopy !req
397. a practical resource for training,Copy !req
398. for support, for information.Copy !req
399. And now I urge you to
use your votes wisely. Thank you.Copy !req
400. OK, good. Well, you've heard
his speech. No comment on that.Copy !req
401. Um, you know I can get you
anything you want,Copy !req
402. but let me show you what I can do,
right?Copy !req
403. Who remembers Right Said Fred?
Yeah? Had a number one.Copy !req
404. "I'm too sexy for that,
I'm too sexy for this"?Copy !req
405. Car, cat, whatever. Do you
remember? Definitely remember.Copy !req
406. Well, please welcome live,
here tonight, it's Right Said Fred!Copy !req
407. Come on.Copy !req
408. There they are. Hello, lads.Copy !req
409. Great! Hiya.Copy !req
410. Here they are. Welcome,
you're welcome.Copy !req
411. Good to see you.
How's it going? Busy?Copy !req
412. Yeah, pretty busy, yeah. Good,
good. We're friends, aren't we?Copy !req
413. Yeah, we've got mutual friends,
for sure. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.Copy !req
414. Wow! Any questions about this?Copy !req
415. Right Said Fred, yeah?Copy !req
416. No?Copy !req
417. Good.Copy !req
418. Interesting fact, actually,
about Right Said Fred.Copy !req
419. That one's Richard,Copy !req
420. he does all the singing.
The other one's Fred.Copy !req
421. Were you worried people might get
confused at all?Copy !req
422. No, it's never been
an issue for us, no.Copy !req
423. So what's, what's going on tonight?
You gigging?Copy !req
424. No, we just, we just thought
we'd go home, to be honest.Copy !req
425. Night off for Right Said Fred.Copy !req
426. Are they going to sing?Copy !req
427. Are you? No, you just said, "Pop in,
mate." That's what you said.Copy !req
428. Great, yeah.Copy !req
429. Yeah, see, that's what you get from
me, just pop ins from famous people.Copy !req
430. So who knows who's going to show up
next week if you vote for me?Copy !req
431. Mariah Carey?Copy !req
432. Don't be absurd. So I'm Too Sexy
was number one in America?Copy !req
433. Yeah. We were the first British band
since The Beatles to get to number
one with a debut single.Copy !req
434. What? Yeah.Copy !req
435. Since The Beatles? Wow! Come on,
check...Copy !req
436. Let's vote now, come on. Votes for
Warwick Davis, let's...Copy !req
437. Yes, one.Copy !req
438. Any more? Two there.Copy !req
439. Come on, does this count for
nothing?Copy !req
440. The Beatles!Copy !req
441. I think there's a lot of
abstentions. We don't know that yet.Copy !req
442. And votes for me now, please.Copy !req
443. OK. Seems pretty conclusive.
Shall we call it a night?Copy !req
444. Can I have your autograph?
Yeah, sure.Copy !req
445. Definitely not. You voted for him.
Get his autograph.Copy !req
446. I'm sorry, mate. We'll just shove
off, then.Copy !req
447. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
448. Where do you stand on condoms?Copy !req
449. We don't approve.Copy !req
450. Not a problem for me at the minute.
I'm not getting any.Copy !req
451. Will these johnnies fit a dwarf?
Why?Copy !req
452. I've got one here.Copy !req
453. Do you know a John? No.Copy !req
454. You don't know a John?Copy !req
455. Want to go out with me sometime?
No.Copy !req
456. Is it Jack? Is it Joseph?Copy !req
457. Do you want to take the card, in
case you need a new accountant? No.Copy !req
458. Right. Stuart says you're
worried about something.Copy !req
459. I'm desperate, lads. Are you not
doing any more Extras?Copy !req
460. We've said we're not. The Office,
then? Definitely not.Copy !req
461. The American Office? Listen, man.Copy !req
462. Can you write me a film? What film?
I don't know, you have the idea.Copy !req
463. Can we have the idea a bit later?
We're snowed under, mate.Copy !req
464. We've got a thousand things to do,
and...Copy !req
465. Yeah, all right. You know what I
mean? Yeah, I understand, right.Copy !req
466. Fuck off, Les.Copy !req
467. Bye.Copy !req