1. Hello, Dwarves for Hire.Copy !req
2. 'My name is Warwick Davis.Copy !req
3. 'I'm an actor...'Copy !req
4. He smells. I think you'll find
it's the bin.Copy !req
5. 'An entrepreneur...'Copy !req
6. Signed DVDs of The Office,
only 30 quid.Copy !req
7. 'Soon to be divorced...'
I wanted to be a nurse.Copy !req
8. Do we really need any more nurses?Copy !req
9. 'Oh, and I've got
a massive tax bill...'Copy !req
10. Would you be better off dead? Yes!Copy !req
11. I'm out flat-hunting this morning.Copy !req
12. Got tired of crashing with friends.Copy !req
13. I'm 41 years old, I need a new crib.Copy !req
14. Estate agents will always try
and screw you.Copy !req
15. Now, you want them to think
they need you a lot more
than you need them.Copy !req
16. You know, if they say,
"Nice place, isn't it?", you go,
"Hmm, not sure."Copy !req
17. Even if it's perfect, always find
a problem. You understand?Copy !req
18. Yep.Copy !req
19. This is how we'll play it.Copy !req
20. You're my right-hand woman
and you ask all the questions.Copy !req
21. It'll seem like I'm too
important even to talk.Copy !req
22. No-one knows what I'm thinking.Copy !req
23. As far as the estate agent's
concerned, I'm just some cool dude
with short arms and deep pockets.Copy !req
24. Yeah.Copy !req
25. Lovely, isn't it?Copy !req
26. Yeah.Copy !req
27. No.Copy !req
28. No?Copy !req
29. No, but it's him you've got
to please.Copy !req
30. What do you think?Copy !req
31. No-one knows what he's thinking. He
doesn't even know what he's thinking.Copy !req
32. I know! He knows. For him to know
and you to find out.Copy !req
33. And don't charge him too much,Copy !req
34. cos he's got tiny little arms and
so he can't reach his pockets.Copy !req
35. That's not what I said.
I said that, oh, er...Copy !req
36. I've got short arms
and deep pockets.Copy !req
37. Shall we have a look round
the rest of the flat? Mm-hmm.Copy !req
38. Problems.Copy !req
39. What? Find a problem, remember?Copy !req
40. Sorry, I can see some problems.Copy !req
41. Problems? Like what?Copy !req
42. Er, oh, um...Copy !req
43. This corner here, sharp corner.Copy !req
44. What if he, um, runs into that
while he's playing?Copy !req
45. Playing? Playing.Copy !req
46. Well, no, what, what she means is,
is, is that I...Copy !req
47. I'm a player, you know,
like a playboy player, yeah?Copy !req
48. But don't worry,
there'll be no trouble.Copy !req
49. Settled down now, respectable,
no more chasing the girls.Copy !req
50. He was always chasing the girls.Copy !req
51. Mm-hmm. Was he?Copy !req
52. Yeah. But not in a scary little
rapey way.Copy !req
53. And he wouldn't do anything
if he caught them.Copy !req
54. I mean, there's nothing of any
importance he could reach
on a girl, anyway.Copy !req
55. Unless they fell over while
he was chasing them, then
he could touch them everywhere.Copy !req
56. Weren't we're having a look
round? Yeah. Shall we just...Copy !req
57. Oh, there's a kitchen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
58. It's all mod-cons.Copy !req
59. Fan-assisted oven.Copy !req
60. OK.Copy !req
61. Fridge freezer, very big,
lots of room.Copy !req
62. Is this microwave radioactive? Sorry?Copy !req
63. Are microwaves radioactive?Copy !req
64. What's that? That's a drainer
for plates. Oh!Copy !req
65. Do you like your job?Copy !req
66. It's great, especially when
you're showing flats like this.Copy !req
67. At the point that we do take the
house... Mm-hmm, the flat, mm-hmm.Copy !req
68. Do you think that, um, at any point
we'd be able to haveCopy !req
69. some kind of, like, moving in,
kind of ceremony?Copy !req
70. Do you mean like cutting the ribbon
at the door?Copy !req
71. No, I mean like a ceremony,
a kind of blessing of the flat.Copy !req
72. Yes, I'm sure that would be...
that would be fine.Copy !req
73. Here's another problem. What?Copy !req
74. Look, problem. Hey, look,
flag it up. Oh.Copy !req
75. Um, excuse me,
I've found another problem.Copy !req
76. What's that?Copy !req
77. Can you see the problem here?
He's, um, too short.Copy !req
78. No, I'm not too short, it,
it's too high.Copy !req
79. For you. It's fine for us, look.Copy !req
80. Yeah, well, you won't be living here
will you? It'll have to be changed.Copy !req
81. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
82. Sorry, would you mind if I just use
the toilet? Yep.Copy !req
83. Thank you.Copy !req
84. Well, go on.Copy !req
85. Got a nice little communal garden
here. Yeah, this is really nice.Copy !req
86. It's quite private, nobody comes
out here, all busy working.Copy !req
87. I tell you what. You know, um,
if we get, um, this place
sorted properly?Copy !req
88. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Copy !req
89. Er, we could get some tracks down
and, er,Copy !req
90. we could have a little
sports day event for himCopy !req
91. and his friends, for Warwick
and his friends.Copy !req
92. Yeah, that's a great...
Do some relay races.Copy !req
93. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
94. Um, anything. We could do hopscotch.
Yeah.Copy !req
95. You don't get any sort of, like,
things in here that are going to
eat him or anything?Copy !req
96. No, no, no.Copy !req
97. No. It's fine, it's very, very safe.
But I mean, are you sure?Copy !req
98. You've got the exit over there.
It's my job to make sure it's safe.Copy !req
99. Cheryl!Copy !req
100. What?Copy !req
101. Oh! Ow! Fucking, pissing sock now.Copy !req
102. Get here and help me down!Copy !req
103. Jeez, I've been trapped in
'ere ages. Fucking... Oh!Copy !req
104. Oh, I've been trying to get your
attention. Get out! Don't look!Copy !req
105. You getting all this?
Don't shut the door!Copy !req
106. Oh!Copy !req
107. I'm doing this round table
meeting at Sue's request.Copy !req
108. She's started divorce proceedings.Copy !req
109. I can't afford a lawyer, so I'm
being represented by my accountant.Copy !req
110. Warwick? Mm-hmm. Ian Walt.
Nice to meet you. Hello.Copy !req
111. I'm Sue's solicitor, Ian Walt.
And you are?Copy !req
112. He's MY solicitor.Copy !req
113. Not really, he can't afford
a solicitor. I'm his accountant!Copy !req
114. I have to advise you,Copy !req
115. you really should retain
a proper qualified solicitor.Copy !req
116. He studied law as well. Yep, one
term at the University of Bolton.Copy !req
117. Haven't heard of that school.
Did it used to be a polytechnic?Copy !req
118. No, I think it used to be
a launderette!Copy !req
119. No, seriously, it was a shit-hole,
but I wasn't cut out for law,
anyway.Copy !req
120. Too hard!Copy !req
121. You know what I'd like to do?
You know those big rigs
you get in America?Copy !req
122. I'd like to get behind a wheel
of one of them and just drive
across country,Copy !req
123. and sort of imagine myself driving
along, and seeing an old shack,Copy !req
124. and driving straight through it,
and wood and chickensCopy !req
125. flying everywhere and people
shouting, "Hey look at that guy!"Copy !req
126. Sorry, sorry. Can you just put
your dreams on hold for now
and focus on this?Copy !req
127. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
sorry, sorry.Copy !req
128. Um, so what's the usual split?
About half and half?Copy !req
129. Well, that's what we're here
to negotiate.Copy !req
130. Yeah, gotcha, yeah. Erm, so...Copy !req
131. 'I'm not seeing this
as a final chapter.Copy !req
132. 'I'm seeing this as a chance
to listen to her complaints,Copy !req
133. 'make amends and start again.'Copy !req
134. Depending on what the complaints
are. If it's leaving the toilet seat
up, fine, won't do it again.Copy !req
135. If it's, "Must try harder in the
bedroom," forget it. I couldn't.Copy !req
136. I've been working me bloody socks
off, love. I'll have a coronary.Copy !req
137. Any more effort on my part
and you'll open your eyes
to a dead dwarf slumped on you.Copy !req
138. There's loads of jobs I'd like to do
before accountancy.Copy !req
139. River police.Copy !req
140. How do you get into being river
police? I'd love to do that.Copy !req
141. "Oh, what's that? Dead body."Copy !req
142. Get it out, it's a tramp.
"Has he been murdered?Copy !req
143. "Looks like it. He's been raped."Copy !req
144. We don't know.Copy !req
145. So Sue says you're a famous actor.
Well, you tell me.Copy !req
146. I've not heard of you.
Are you famous?Copy !req
147. Yes. Sue says you've been
in some films? Some films?Copy !req
148. Have you heard of Star Wars
and Return Of The Jedi?Copy !req
149. Yes. Yeah. The Harry Potter films,
you heard of those? Yes.Copy !req
150. And, er, have you heard of a film
called Willow? No.Copy !req
151. No? No, I've never heard of Willow.
Were you in that?Copy !req
152. I was the star of that, yes.Copy !req
153. No, I've never heard of Willow.
Right.Copy !req
154. Not many people have. It was not
a success. It was a success!Copy !req
155. Not really. Return Of The Jedi
was a success. I was in that.
What were you in that?Copy !req
156. I was an Ewok.
So your face was covered up?Copy !req
157. Yes, it was... I don't remember
seeing you in Harry Potter, either.Copy !req
158. Yeah, I was Professor Flitwick.Copy !req
159. You couldn't really see his face.
If you'd seen Willow,
my face was in that.Copy !req
160. As I said, I've not seen
Willow, or heard of it.Copy !req
161. No. And as I said, no-one has,
so don't feel too bad.Copy !req
162. Have you heard of a little show
called The Office?Copy !req
163. Were you in that? No, but I was in
Extras, made by the same blokes.Copy !req
164. Oh, I didn't see it.Copy !req
165. Didn't you?
Oh, I didn't like it.Copy !req
166. It was just a sitcom where famous
people popped up as themselves.Copy !req
167. I must be pretty famous
or they wouldn't have had me in it.Copy !req
168. Yeah, it wasn't clear if you were
supposed to be famous.
Did they mention your name?Copy !req
169. You were a prop,
basically you were a prop.Copy !req
170. Sorry, why are we discussing my CV?Copy !req
171. Can we just get back to this?Copy !req
172. We are still trying to lobby
the Government to fundCopy !req
173. our community outreach programme,
and some people have asked me
how you can get involved.Copy !req
174. Well, we do need some volunteers
to leaflet outside Parliament
this Saturday.Copy !req
175. Oh, yeah, that reminds me, actually.Copy !req
176. Never mind doing something for no
money, that won't change anything.Copy !req
177. I'm looking for a couple
of volunteers, cos my lotCopy !req
178. have got a bit militant lately and,
er, I've got a gig this Saturday,
Students' Union,Copy !req
179. £150 cash-in-hand.Copy !req
180. Yeah.Copy !req
181. All it is, is you're a human
bowling ball, basically.Copy !req
182. You're in your pants, you're
greased up, slung along the floor
by some pissed-up students.Copy !req
183. Easy money. Warwick, sorry.Copy !req
184. I don't think this is the right place
to recruit for that.Copy !req
185. It's perfect, there's loads
of dwarves here.Copy !req
186. What I mean is
you're the Vice-Chairman.Copy !req
187. You're a spokesperson for little
people, yet when we're trying to
get things like dwarf-tossing bannedCopy !req
188. from rugby clubs
and university rag weeks,Copy !req
189. you're the one hiring out
those dwarves to be thrown.Copy !req
190. I want people to see a little person,
wonder if he's a doctor or a lawyer,Copy !req
191. not wonder which cannon
he's going to be fired from today.Copy !req
192. 'The trouble with Anthony Braden is
he's giving little people
false hopes.'Copy !req
193. I've seen him say to young dwarves
in there, "Oh, you can be
an astronaut or a doctor."Copy !req
194. No, they can't, they're too small.
Not going to be a doctor.Copy !req
195. Can be a proctologist, maybe.Copy !req
196. Then he'll be on his high horse
again, "No, why can they only
be proctologists?"Copy !req
197. Cos the only thing they can reach
is the arse. And I'll have
all these disillusioned dwarvesCopy !req
198. crawling back to me, "Oh, don't want
to spend me days doing that,
I want to be in the movies."Copy !req
199. Well, no, you're too late,
you had your chance,
now get back to those arses.Copy !req
200. Warwick, it worries me
that maybe you're notCopy !req
201. the best spokesperson for
our community and for our needs.Copy !req
202. Maybe you're not the right person.Copy !req
203. Maybe there's a grass roots uprising
that says the old guy's lost it,Copy !req
204. let's have some new blood.Copy !req
205. Maybe I should be the Chairman.
Everyone's entitled to run
for this position.Copy !req
206. Let's do it, then.Copy !req
207. I hereby declare myself running
for officeCopy !req
208. and I second that.Copy !req
209. You can't second yourself.Copy !req
210. No?Copy !req
211. All right, then, who seconds me?
Come on.Copy !req
212. See?Copy !req
213. They don't know what
time of day it is.Copy !req
214. I'll second you, Warwick.Copy !req
215. Really? Yes, and we'll let
democracy decideCopy !req
216. with a vote next week.Copy !req
217. Well, will they decide, though?
I mean, will they remember?Copy !req
218. Are they even awake?Copy !req
219. Sorry to bother you.
Can I get a picture?Copy !req
220. Yeah, sure, anything for a fan.Copy !req
221. Fan? Yeah. Fan of what?Copy !req
222. Fan of me.Copy !req
223. Why? Who are you?Copy !req
224. Warwick Davis, obviously,
famous actor.Copy !req
225. Well, if you don't know who
I am, why do you want a picture?Copy !req
226. It's funny, isn't it?
A dwarf carrying a box.
You don't see that round here.Copy !req
227. Actually, do you mind if I film you?
Why?Copy !req
228. Cos that's even funnier!
No, it's not funny.Copy !req
229. Oh, yeah, it does look funny,
actually. Sorry, um, we're filming.Copy !req
230. We're not filming. Yeah we are,
it's running. Are you moving in
round here?Copy !req
231. I'm having second thoughts.
We'll be neighbours. Excellent.
Still filming, are you? Yeah.Copy !req
232. Oh, that is so going on YouTube!Copy !req
233. Definitely! Not definitely, no.Copy !req
234. Hello again.
Sorry, what's your name again?Copy !req
235. Ian Walt.Copy !req
236. Oh, Ian. Nice to have you here
in my house.Copy !req
237. You don't live here any more.
It's still my house, though.Copy !req
238. So you enjoying it, then? Enjoying
the house? Enjoying my house?Copy !req
239. It's lovely. Good.Copy !req
240. What did you want?Copy !req
241. I just popped round to, er, to get,
um...Copy !req
242. my baseball cap.Copy !req
243. Gift from Mr Ron Howard.Copy !req
244. Who's Ron Howard?Copy !req
245. The director of Willow. Oh,
I've not seen it. Yeah, you said.
I'll get you the DVD.Copy !req
246. Sorry, are you wearing slippers?Copy !req
247. Yes.Copy !req
248. Is it normal to be round a client's
house doing paperwork wearing
slippers?Copy !req
249. Everyone's different.Copy !req
250. What lawyer wears slippers?
I've just never seen that before.Copy !req
251. On LA Law they didn't wear
slippers. Perry Mason
never had slippers on.Copy !req
252. Even in Ironside he never had
slippers, and he was
in a wheelchair.Copy !req
253. He didn't even need shoes
and he still wore shoes.Copy !req
254. You should probably get going, then.Copy !req
255. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.
Um, you leaving, too, Ian?Copy !req
256. No.Copy !req
257. Just "no"? No more information?
Just leaving soon or...?Copy !req
258. What difference does it make if
he's going now or later?Copy !req
259. Because we're both drivers,
so, you know, let's drive.Copy !req
260. Shall I, shall I just wait outside
for you?Copy !req
261. No need.Copy !req
262. Shall we...?Copy !req
263. Not forget this.Copy !req
264. Really haven't got long, I'm afraid,
Warwick. No.Copy !req
265. We've got a Skype call coming
through and it's...Copy !req
266. Great. Well, what can we do for you?Copy !req
267. Advice, really.Copy !req
268. Right.Copy !req
269. I'm a bit worried about my wife
and her lawyer.Copy !req
270. I think there might be something
going on.Copy !req
271. What, the lawyer who's representing
your wife while she sues you for
divorce?Copy !req
272. Yeah, that's the one. See my point?
I don't know why you care any more.
OK.Copy !req
273. Slippers.Copy !req
274. In what way?Copy !req
275. Oh!Copy !req
276. Hi, Steve. Hello. How's it going
man?Copy !req
277. Steve Carell.
Thanks for doing this.Copy !req
278. You obviously got my email
about the guest appearances.Copy !req
279. I'm not just saying thisCopy !req
280. because I've got a financial
stake in the show.Copy !req
281. I really think it'd be good for your
career to do the occasional guest
appearance in The Office.Copy !req
282. Obviously you can still do
your films as well.Copy !req
283. Of course. But, you know, if you did
agree to even infrequent guest
spots,Copy !req
284. the network said they would
guarantee two more seasons,Copy !req
285. um, which is obviously incredibly
lucrative, er... For everyone.Copy !req
286. Yeah, yeah. Um, you know what,
let me think about it.Copy !req
287. I will definitely consider it.Copy !req
288. Cheers, man. Great. Brilliant.Copy !req
289. We're in LA Thursday, if you
want to do dinner and have a chat.Copy !req
290. Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
I'd love to.Copy !req
291. Brilliant. See you then. See you.Copy !req
292. OK, good, see you later. Bye. Bye.Copy !req
293. I must say, makes me laugh a bit
that he's a household nameCopy !req
294. because of the show, and now
I've got to beg him to do
the odd guest spot.Copy !req
295. He should be begging me.
Luckiest fucking actor in the world.Copy !req
296. Yeah.Copy !req
297. You still there, Steve?Copy !req
298. Yeah.Copy !req
299. Sorry, man. I, I thought
I'd... I thought I'd hung up.Copy !req
300. No.Copy !req
301. No, you didn't.Copy !req
302. I just turned the screen off,
I thought I'd hung up.Copy !req
303. I'm really, um...Copy !req
304. Do you still want to do dinner?Copy !req
305. Mm, no.Copy !req
306. Be awkward, wouldn't it?Copy !req
307. Yeah, it would be.Copy !req
308. Will you think about the guest
appearances? Er, no.Copy !req
309. Dead in the water, that one.
It is, definitely dead. There's no
way that's going to happen.Copy !req
310. OK, cheers. Bye, then. Bye.
Bye-bye, now.Copy !req
311. Why was he listening?Copy !req
312. I'll tell you why he was listening...
cos he's an actor,Copy !req
313. and like all actors he's a little,
paranoid,Copy !req
314. insecure, little fucker.Copy !req
315. Are you still listening, Steve?Copy !req
316. I am, I am still listening
to you talking.Copy !req
317. OK. You shouldn't be listening, not
if we're not friends any more, mate.Copy !req
318. OK. Steve, before you go,
I'm a big fan.Copy !req
319. Hey, that's really nice, thanks.Copy !req
320. You could always hang up this time,
to make absolutely sure.Copy !req
321. That's true. OK. Bye.Copy !req
322. He's gone. Is it off? Yeah,
definitely. I was pressing
the wrong thing.Copy !req
323. Love Steve Carell. Do you?
He's terrific. Yeah.
Everyone loves him.Copy !req
324. Not really, no. Most do.Copy !req
325. Idiotic thing to say. With
six billion people on the planet,Copy !req
326. how are they all going
to love one person?Copy !req
327. A lot of them do.
Look at the American Office.Copy !req
328. What is it, ten million viewers
it gets?Copy !req
329. Ten million... Watching him.
Tune in and see my name on
the credits.Copy !req
330. They watch it for him, though.
Not really.Copy !req
331. It wouldn't exist without me,
and HE wouldn't exist without IT.Copy !req
332. Ipso facto, I don't know what you're
talking about.Copy !req
333. Well, he's got
likeability, though.Copy !req
334. He's a popular chap. You're more
of an acquired taste.Copy !req
335. Not everyone's into everything
you do.Copy !req
336. My accountant, right,
absolutely hated Extras.Copy !req
337. Just thought it was a sitcom where
famous people pop up as themselves.Copy !req
338. I'm just saying not everyone's
into everything you do.Copy !req
339. Sorry, I've forgotten why
you're here, again.Copy !req
340. Maybe it's the fact that I've just
lost 20 million on the new
syndication deal.Copy !req
341. But go on, remind me.Copy !req
342. I was talking about my wife and her
lawyer. How can I be sure there's
nothing going on?Copy !req
343. You can't. You're getting a divorce.
Move on.Copy !req
344. I mean, what are you going to do,
camp outside the house,Copy !req
345. spying on them like
Inch High Private Eye?Copy !req
346. Yeah, you know, you're right.
I'm being silly.Copy !req
347. All right?Copy !req
348. Cosy.Copy !req
349. Slippers.Copy !req
350. Warwick.Copy !req
351. What? What are you doing here?Copy !req
352. Just want to get some of
my belongings.Copy !req
353. Like what?Copy !req
354. Like my...Copy !req
355. Oh, yeah, my award there,
from Guts.com.Copy !req
356. One of the internet's most
respected horror movie websites.Copy !req
357. What did you win?Copy !req
358. Best Actor, and Best Supporting
Actor in an independently funded
British horror movie.Copy !req
359. Is it possible to win Best Actor
AND Best Supporting Actor?Copy !req
360. Yeah. Yeah if you play both Midge,
the loveable children's clown,Copy !req
361. AND his lycanthropic Siamese twin.Copy !req
362. What, you don't know what that
means, do you?Copy !req
363. Lycanthropy, yes, it means
he changes into a wolf.
You played both parts?Copy !req
364. Yeah, it's easy.Copy !req
365. When they were both normal,
I played both characters using
a split-screen effect.Copy !req
366. When one of them changes into a wolf
they just strapped me to a dog.Copy !req
367. What was the film called?Copy !req
368. Weredwarf. Haven't seen it.
What HAVE you seen?Copy !req
369. Sorry, just, sorry. Do you really
need this award right now?Copy !req
370. Yes, I do.Copy !req
371. Would you like me to get it down
for you? No.Copy !req
372. I can get it.
No. It's, it's fine, I can manage.Copy !req
373. You all right?Copy !req
374. Mm hm.Copy !req
375. Cool.Copy !req
376. Oh! Ah! Oh, oh!Copy !req
377. Agh!Copy !req
378. Warwick, for goodness sake, just
let me get it down for you.Copy !req
379. It'd have been fine if it'd been
on that shelf. I don't know why it's
that high up, it's ridiculous.Copy !req
380. Would you want me
to put it on that shelf?Copy !req
381. Were you going to put it
on that shelf, anyway?Copy !req
382. Yes, I was going to put it on that
shelf later.Copy !req
383. Well, if you're going to put it
there anyway, then put it there
now, of course.Copy !req
384. Oh, for goodness sake!
I can't reach it.Copy !req
385. Can I ask Ian to get it for me?Copy !req
386. Well, if he just hands it to you,
yes.Copy !req
387. Can you just hand this to me,
please, Ian?Copy !req
388. Sure.Copy !req
389. There you go. Thank you.Copy !req
390. Right. Put it where you want to
put it.Copy !req
391. Right. I'm putting it there.Copy !req
392. Oh, good. It's on that shelf now,
that's where it is.Copy !req
393. Go, carry on with your tea.Copy !req
394. Right, good.Copy !req
395. Um, what did I come for?Copy !req
396. Um, oh, yeah. There it is,
I'll just take that. Good.Copy !req
397. See you.Copy !req
398. If you re-elect me, one of my main
priorities will be to make the SPSSCopy !req
399. a practical resource for training,Copy !req
400. for support, for information.Copy !req
401. And now I urge you to
use your votes wisely. Thank you.Copy !req
402. OK, good. Well, you've heard
his speech. No comment on that.Copy !req
403. Um, you know I can get you
anything you want,Copy !req
404. but let me show you what I can do,
right?Copy !req
405. Who remembers Right Said Fred?
Yeah? Had a number one.Copy !req
406. "I'm too sexy for that,
I'm too sexy for this"?Copy !req
407. Car, cat, whatever. Do you
remember? Definitely remember.Copy !req
408. Well, please welcome live,
here tonight, it's Right Said Fred!Copy !req
409. Come on.Copy !req
410. There they are. Hello, lads.Copy !req
411. Great! Hiya.Copy !req
412. Here they are. Welcome,
you're welcome.Copy !req
413. Good to see you.
How's it going? Busy?Copy !req
414. Yeah, pretty busy, yeah. Good,
good. We're friends, aren't we?Copy !req
415. Yeah, we've got mutual friends,
for sure. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.Copy !req
416. Wow! Any questions about this?Copy !req
417. Right Said Fred, yeah?Copy !req
418. No?Copy !req
419. Good.Copy !req
420. Interesting fact, actually,
about Right Said Fred.Copy !req
421. That one's Richard,Copy !req
422. he does all the singing.
The other one's Fred.Copy !req
423. Were you worried people might get
confused at all?Copy !req
424. No, it's never been
an issue for us, no.Copy !req
425. So what's, what's going on tonight?
You gigging?Copy !req
426. No, we just, we just thought
we'd go home, to be honest.Copy !req
427. Night off for Right Said Fred.Copy !req
428. Are they going to sing?Copy !req
429. Are you? No, you just said, "Pop in,
mate." That's what you said.Copy !req
430. Great, yeah.Copy !req
431. Yeah, see, that's what you get from
me, just pop ins from famous people.Copy !req
432. So who knows who's going to show up
next week if you vote for me?Copy !req
433. Mariah Carey?Copy !req
434. Don't be absurd. So I'm Too Sexy
was number one in America?Copy !req
435. Yeah. We were the first British band
since The Beatles to get to number
one with a debut single.Copy !req
436. What? Yeah.Copy !req
437. Since The Beatles? Wow! Come on,
check...Copy !req
438. Let's vote now, come on. Votes for
Warwick Davis, let's...Copy !req
439. Yes, one.Copy !req
440. Any more? Two there.Copy !req
441. Come on, does this count for
nothing?Copy !req
442. The Beatles!Copy !req
443. I think there's a lot of
abstentions. We don't know that yet.Copy !req
444. And votes for me now, please.Copy !req
445. OK. Seems pretty conclusive.
Shall we call it a night?Copy !req
446. Can I have your autograph?
Yeah, sure.Copy !req
447. Definitely not. You voted for him.
Get his autograph.Copy !req
448. I'm sorry, mate. We'll just shove
off, then.Copy !req
449. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
450. Where do you stand on condoms?Copy !req
451. We don't approve.Copy !req
452. Not a problem for me at the minute.
I'm not getting any.Copy !req
453. Will these johnnies fit a dwarf?
Why?Copy !req
454. I've got one here.Copy !req
455. Do you know a John? No.Copy !req
456. You don't know a John?Copy !req
457. Want to go out with me sometime?
No.Copy !req
458. Is it Jack? Is it Joseph?Copy !req
459. Do you want to take the card, in
case you need a new accountant? No.Copy !req
460. Right. Stuart says you're
worried about something.Copy !req
461. I'm desperate, lads. Are you not
doing any more Extras?Copy !req
462. We've said we're not. The Office,
then? Definitely not.Copy !req
463. The American Office? Listen, man.Copy !req
464. Can you write me a film? What film?
I don't know, you have the idea.Copy !req
465. Can we have the idea a bit later?
We're snowed under, mate.Copy !req
466. We've got a thousand things to do,
and...Copy !req
467. Yeah, all right. You know what I
mean? Yeah, I understand, right.Copy !req
468. Fuck off, Les.Copy !req
469. Bye.Copy !req