1. Hit me! Big ten!Copy !req
2. Double down!Copy !req
3. Little one. Yes!Copy !req
4. $50,000 a hand on two tables
for the last 12 hours.Copy !req
5. You gotta love Big Willie.
How are the plans going
for his daughter's wedding?Copy !req
6. Great. The east ballroom,
decked out with...Copy !req
7. Show me some good love!Copy !req
8. Sam's wrangled up 1,000 live
Maine lobsters,
arriving within the hour.Copy !req
9. Lobster!Copy !req
10. Okay.
The man loves his shellfish.Copy !req
11. I've booked Michael Bublé
to sing at the reception.Copy !req
12. Who?
Trust me, he's great.Copy !req
13. Big Willie's daughter is
a huge fan.Copy !req
14. She's going to have
one hell of a wedding.Copy !req
15. Yeah, nothing but the best
for Sam's number one client.Copy !req
16. Blackjack!Copy !req
17. No change the dealer.Copy !req
18. Mary, hi.
Hi.Copy !req
19. We were just wondering about
the soap in our rooms.Copy !req
20. Yes. Certified organic.
No tallow or animal testing.Copy !req
21. I promise you, your convention
will not only be enjoyable,
it'll be cruelty-free.Copy !req
22. Michael, hi.
Thanks. Hi.Copy !req
23. Hi. I'm Mary Connell.
I am so happy that
you're able to make it.Copy !req
24. I didn't have much of
a choice. I was all set
to play London...Copy !req
25. and the next thing I know
my agent and manager arrive...Copy !req
26. on a Montecito jet
and drag me down here.
So, you're not upset?Copy !req
27. No, I just haven't played
a private party in years.Copy !req
28. I was thinking maybe I could
try something new for
Big Willie and his daughter.Copy !req
29. You know, keep things fresh.
Fresh is good.Copy !req
30. Good. I got some ideas.
I'll run them by you later?Copy !req
31. That sounds great.
Okay. Bye.Copy !req
32. I'm sorry, I'm not in
the business of looking after
out-of-town guests.Copy !req
33. That's Sam's job.Copy !req
34. You don't have to
entertain him, just keep him
company for a few hours.Copy !req
35. I'm buried at work.
Believe me,
you won't regret it.Copy !req
36. Still trying to pawn off
your ninth grade boyfriend?Copy !req
37. He wasn't just my boyfriend.Copy !req
38. When I met Jay,
we had just moved
for the third time in a year.Copy !req
39. My 14th school in all.
No one would talk to me.Copy !req
40. God, girls can be so mean.
I just needed someone
to talk to.Copy !req
41. I needed a friend.
And that's when I met Jay.Copy !req
42. He was always there for me,
no matter what.Copy !req
43. Didn't you break his nose?
Only after
he tried to kiss me.Copy !req
44. That doesn't sound like
you at all.
I used to be a tomboy.Copy !req
45. That's quite a change.
Promise me...Copy !req
46. both of you, you'll be nice.Copy !req
47. Dee?Copy !req
48. Please.Copy !req
49. I promise I'll be nice.
Me, too.Copy !req
50. Mike?
Hey.Copy !req
51. What's new?
Three drunks,
two card counters...Copy !req
52. and a guy who insisted
he was Elvis demanded
a free room.Copy !req
53. Really? I mean, was it him?
Was it the King?Copy !req
54. More like the queen,
he was wearing a dress.Copy !req
55. Surveillance. What?
When? Thanks.Copy !req
56. Someone just stole
a lobster delivery truck.Copy !req
57. Where's Danny?Copy !req
58. Yeah?
Yeah, I'm way ahead of you
on this one, Ed.Copy !req
59. Nothing to worry.Copy !req
60. I'll get back to you.Copy !req
61. So, why Vegas?
The last items on
my to-do list.Copy !req
62. To-do list?
I have four more to go.Copy !req
63. Witness a desert sunrise,
sing over the canals of
Venice...Copy !req
64. and skydive over Sin City.
That's only three.Copy !req
65. You always save
the best for last.Copy !req
66. Make love to the first girl
I ever kissed.Copy !req
67. That's so sweet.Copy !req
68. Delinda, you were
the first girl I ever kissed.Copy !req
69. That last one might take you
some time.
I hope not.Copy !req
70. I only have a month to live.
I'm dying of cancer.Copy !req
71. So, you guys let us know
if you find anything, okay?Copy !req
72. Traffic control followed
the truck over the 15...Copy !req
73. but by the time Metro had
any cars in the area,
it was long gone.Copy !req
74. I need you to find
the son of a bitch who
stole the truck, all right?Copy !req
75. Ed, with all due respect,
they stole lobsters.Copy !req
76. Yeah, lobsters
for Big Willie Chen.Copy !req
77. On his last visit,
he dropped $10 million.Copy !req
78. Stay! Double down!Copy !req
79. Inoperable and untreatable.Copy !req
80. Doctors gave me
six months to live
five months ago.Copy !req
81. What kind of cancer?
I don't want to
talk about it.Copy !req
82. It just bums me out.Copy !req
83. If you were really sick,
wouldn't you be in a hospital?Copy !req
84. If there's nothing
they can do for you,Copy !req
85. lying around in
a cancer ward...Copy !req
86. is depressing,
not to mention
a total waste of time.Copy !req
87. Yeah, and trying to
sleep with me isn't?Copy !req
88. Not if there's a chance
you'll say yes.Copy !req
89. You forget I've known you
since the ninth grade...Copy !req
90. and still remember
all those pranks
you used to pull.Copy !req
91. Pranks? Me?Copy !req
92. Like at graduation, you had
all the diplomas printed
in invisible ink.Copy !req
93. Saying you have cancer
just to get me into bed
would be right up your alley.Copy !req
94. This is all we have.
It looks like a foot.Copy !req
95. I was thinking foot, too.Copy !req
96. Well, then...Copy !req
97. I guess our work is
done here today, boys.Copy !req
98. We were robbed by a foot.Copy !req
99. I can't believe you lost
my lobsters.Copy !req
100. Nobody lost your lobsters.
They were stolen.Copy !req
101. Ed, Big Willie invited his
closest, dearest...Copy !req
102. Okay, richest friends
to his daughter's wedding.
I planned on harpooning...Copy !req
103. a few stray whales before
they migrated out of town.
I need my lobsters.Copy !req
104. Well, then, Captain Ahab,
I suggest you
hunt some more down.Copy !req
105. Yes, sir.Copy !req
106. Hit me again! Yes! Hit!Copy !req
107. Desert sunrise,
sing in front of thousands,
or skydive over the city?Copy !req
108. I'm definitely not jumping
out of a plane.Copy !req
109. So then it's decided.
We're skydiving.Copy !req
110. I don't think you heard me.
I said no.
Okay.Copy !req
111. Then sleep with me.
I'm not doing that either.Copy !req
112. Nessa, some of the
best memories I have...Copy !req
113. are because I did things
that I swore I never would do.Copy !req
114. Like running with the bulls
in Pamplona.
Let's stick with skydiving.Copy !req
115. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
116. What if my chute doesn't open
and I crater at
200 miles an hour?Copy !req
117. That's not going to be fun.
Come on. Don't be silly.Copy !req
118. That could never happen.
Really?Copy !req
119. And you wouldn't crater,
you'd bounce.
Bounce?Copy !req
120. So, you want to fool around
before or after we skydive?Copy !req
121. I don't want to sound
like a star-struck teenager
or anything...Copy !req
122. but, God, I just love
hearing you sing.Copy !req
123. You are like Frank Sinatra...Copy !req
124. and Bobby Darin
all rolled into one.
Mime.Copy !req
125. Yeah, I don't know him.
Does he sing, too?
No, I want to do mime.Copy !req
126. You're kidding.
Mime has always been
my first love.Copy !req
127. It says so in the contract.
What I do is up to me.Copy !req
128. Come on, you can't give up
singing now.Copy !req
129. Your career is
just taking off.Copy !req
130. Just watch.
I call this one
"Bublé in the Bubble."Copy !req
131. Okay, then, Michael?Copy !req
132. Michael.Copy !req
133. Mary, you don't have to yell.
Mimes can hear,
they just can't talk.Copy !req
134. Yeah.Copy !req
135. So, let me get this straight.Copy !req
136. You want 1,000 of my lobster?
Yes.Copy !req
137. You stole my boyfriend.
Yeah, but he had a little...Copy !req
138. At our engagement party.
He didn't tell me who he was.Copy !req
139. Sweetie, that guy was a jerk.Copy !req
140. So if you think about it,
I actually saved you
years of pain and suffering.Copy !req
141. I mean, I think that you and I
could possibly be
best girlfriends.Copy !req
142. Everybody knows about you:
Wendy, freshest seafood
in Vegas.Copy !req
143. And everyone in town
already said no.
What are you talking about?Copy !req
144. You're my first choice.Copy !req
145. What's it worth to you?
How much do you charge...Copy !req
146. for a lobster dinner?
$85.Copy !req
147. I'll take 1,000
lobster dinners to go.
I'll even round it out...Copy !req
148. What's with
the additional $100,000?Copy !req
149. Pain and suffering.
Deal. Let me see one of
those bad boys.Copy !req
150. Wait. Where are his...
Claws?Copy !req
151. Yeah.
They're Pacific lobster.
No claws.Copy !req
152. Enjoy the pain and suffering.Copy !req
153. Okay, sure. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
154. I need a favor.
Favor? That's great.Copy !req
155. Last time you asked me
for a favor, it cost me
$1,900 in parking tickets.Copy !req
156. You didn't want the police
to boot my beemer, did you?Copy !req
157. Your beemer.Copy !req
158. No, sweetheart,
of course I didn't.Copy !req
159. I need you to pull someone's
medical records.Copy !req
160. That's against the law.
Only technically.Copy !req
161. No, there's also a privacy issue.
Details. I need Jay Ross' medical files.Copy !req
162. The pimply-faced boyfriend
you had in the ninth grade?
That Jay Ross?Copy !req
163. He lost the pimples.
Yeah.Copy !req
164. What's the matter
with the kid?
Cancer.Copy !req
165. So he says.
Jeez, honey,
I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
166. Yeah, I was sorry, too,
until I realized
he was probably lying.Copy !req
167. Why would somebody lie
about something like that?Copy !req
168. If I told you,
you'd kill him quicker
than his cancer ever could.Copy !req
169. decided to become a mime.
Mimes are funny.Copy !req
170. Sort of.
My life is over.Copy !req
171. Yeah, there's a lot of that
going on.Copy !req
172. You know what you need?
A gun, to shoot myself?Copy !req
173. You need to karaoke.Copy !req
174. No, I don't need to sing.
I need my musical act to sing.Copy !req
175. No, you need to
karaoke with me.Copy !req
176. Come on, I'm only asking
because I'm dying of cancer.Copy !req
177. Yeah, nice try, Jay.
But Delinda told me
you'd say that.Copy !req
178. That's because Delinda
didn't believe me.Copy !req
179. It's true?
Cross my heart, hope to die.Copy !req
180. Double down!Copy !req
181. So, Big Willie,
how's everything?
Up $700,000.Copy !req
182. Nice.Copy !req
183. Sam, I do not like to be
bothered when I'm playing,
especially when I'm winning.Copy !req
184. Of course not. I just wanted
to let you know that your
daughter's wedding is set.Copy !req
185. The decorations, the flowers,
the pyrotechnics are amazing.Copy !req
186. Is Bublé here?
He's here!Copy !req
187. I want Bublé!
Yeah! So you got him!Copy !req
188. However, I am concerned
a little about your
choice in food.Copy !req
189. Lobster...Copy !req
190. is fine, sir, but...Copy !req
191. I may have something that
could make your evening
even more special.Copy !req
192. I just got the word
that I can get my hands on...Copy !req
193. 800 pounds of Kobe beef.Copy !req
194. Kobe beef?Copy !req
195. The $300-a-pound,
Japanese-raised Kobe beef.Copy !req
196. The kind that's massaged
daily by hand,
perfectly marbled...Copy !req
197. served with just
a touch of soy.Copy !req
198. Sir.Copy !req
199. I have to think about it.
Okay, well, you think
about it. No pressure.Copy !req
200. I'll be waiting over here.Copy !req
201. Hey.Copy !req
202. Think he's gonna go for it?
2-to-1 against.Copy !req
203. I want... lobster!Copy !req
204. Okay.Copy !req
205. I want the jet.Copy !req
206. Hit me! Yeah!Copy !req
207. I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.Copy !req
208. Just when you think you got
everything under control...Copy !req
209. something will come along
and throw your plans
for a loop.Copy !req
210. Don't I know it.Copy !req
211. Hey. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
212. I've got no right to complain,
you know,
considering everything.Copy !req
213. You know, everyone told me
that once you know
you're dying...Copy !req
214. you'll stop sweating
the small stuff.
But they're wrong.Copy !req
215. No, it's the small stuff
that makes life worth living.Copy !req
216. So you're saying
I should enjoy my failure?Copy !req
217. No.Copy !req
218. But you shouldn't let it
stop you from singing.Copy !req
219. You're kidding.Copy !req
220. Karaoke in Vegas
with Venice as a backdrop.Copy !req
221. It's pretty cool, huh?
How many people get to
say they did this?Copy !req
222. I think we'd be the first.
How did you do all this?Copy !req
223. I gave them a note
from my doctor.
Jay, I don't sing.Copy !req
224. Karaoke is not about how good
you are, it's about how much
fun you have.Copy !req
225. No, you don't understand,
I can't sing in front of
all these people.Copy !req
226. It's easy. Just pretend we're
5,000 miles away,
staring at the piazza.Copy !req
227. The one without the
5,000-room hotel.Copy !req
228. Okay, not a problem.
How is this going to help?Copy !req
229. You're never gonna see
these people again.Copy !req
230. Do you take requests?
Of course.Copy !req
231. Make love to me.Copy !req
232. I'm sorry,
but I'm wearing this.Copy !req
233. It's not a problem,
as long as you're not wearing
anything else.Copy !req
234. Yup. That's right,
1,000 Maine lobster.Copy !req
235. I'll be there within the hour.Copy !req
236. Craig, you just told me
an hour ago
that you had the lobster.Copy !req
237. I know, I'm sorry, Sam.
My shipment didn't come in,
on account of Hurricane Ruth.Copy !req
238. It kicked up a wicked swell
as far north as Halifax.Copy !req
239. the desperate nature of
my situation.
I understand the situation.Copy !req
240. I just don't have
any lobster.
We're old friends, right?Copy !req
241. If you knew where to get
the lobster, you'd tell me.Copy !req
242. Sam.
Yes.Copy !req
243. I showed you the ring.
I'll marry you if you give me
1,000 lobsters.Copy !req
244. Very funny.
No, I'm serious.
I'm madly in love with you.Copy !req
245. I can't live without you,
let's spend the rest of
our lives together.Copy !req
246. This is a proposal?
Abso-frigging-lutely.Copy !req
247. As long as I get you
the lobster?
Yes.Copy !req
248. Sam.
Yes.Copy !req
249. Even if I thought you
were serious,
I don't have any lobster.Copy !req
250. All right.
No one does.Copy !req
251. You blew it again.Copy !req
252. How about dinner
and a movie for
500 pounds of Pacific salmon?Copy !req
253. Figures.Copy !req
254. If you want to go skydiving,
why don't you ask Danny?Copy !req
255. He's a Marine. They do that
Superman stuff in their sleep,
right?Copy !req
256. Tell Nessa skydiving is
not that dangerous.
It's not.Copy !req
257. Unless someone's
shooting at you.
There you go.Copy !req
258. It's not the jumping
I'm afraid of.
It's the landing.Copy !req
259. I pride myself on
almost rarely, if ever,
trying to kill myself.Copy !req
260. You like to go swimming
in the ocean?
Yeah.Copy !req
261. Did you know that the ocean
is home to the
great white shark...Copy !req
262. one of the most violent,
bloodthirsty predators
on the planet.Copy !req
263. And if you get bit by one,
besides the
mind-blowing pain...Copy !req
264. your blood actually chums
the water which leads to
a feeding frenzy...Copy !req
265. with a whole bunch of
other sharks.Copy !req
266. Yeah, it's a long...
Slow...Copy !req
267. Painful, painful death.
That's great.Copy !req
268. I'm never going in
the ocean again.
Anything else?Copy !req
269. No!
All right.Copy !req
270. What's your point?
My point is life is
all about risk.Copy !req
271. We could die at any moment.
If it's your time to go,
you might as well go quick.Copy !req
272. And if you eat it skydiving,
you won't feel a thing.Copy !req
273. Mary?
Yeah?Copy !req
274. Mary, hi. Excuse me.
Hi.Copy !req
275. I hate to bother you
and I don't mean to
seem ungrateful...Copy !req
276. but we have these passes,
to the buffet...Copy !req
277. Yes, our cooking staff
has marked all vegan dishes
with gold stars...Copy !req
278. and two soy entrées have been
prepared by Gunther,
just for you.Copy !req
279. It's amazing.
Larry, don't you
worry about a thing.Copy !req
280. The next couple of days,
I will take care of
everything.Copy !req
281. We gotta make this quick,
Luis wants us out
in 20 minutes.Copy !req
282. Not that I'm being picky,
but isn't this considered
tampering with evidence?Copy !req
283. CSI didn't find anything,
so how can it hurt?Copy !req
284. I just don't want
a felony seafood conviction
on my record.Copy !req
285. Come on.Copy !req
286. Why do we got close it?Copy !req
287. You gotta keep
this thing a secret.Copy !req
288. I promised Ed
we wouldn't show anybody.Copy !req
289. A Radiant Spectrometer!
I just read an article about
this in Theoretical Science.Copy !req
290. Yes. By lacing radioactive
isotopes into
a laser matrix...Copy !req
291. it can retrieve
material residue...Copy !req
292. from surface strata
for up to three days
after contact...Copy !req
293. even if cleaned by
phosphate-based cleaners.Copy !req
294. So, we can dust for prints
that aren't there?
Right.Copy !req
295. Why don't you just say that?Copy !req
296. The only downside is
if you're exposed to
the radiation...Copy !req
297. your nads will glow green
for two months.Copy !req
298. Check this out.Copy !req
299. Now, I agree with you
that mime...Copy !req
300. is poised to come back
in a big way.Copy !req
301. I'm just not sure that
you're the guy to
bring it back.Copy !req
302. Mary, lighten up.
Yeah, but it's
a wedding reception.Copy !req
303. And people,
they want to hear you sing.Copy !req
304. My voice is my instrument.
Exactly.Copy !req
305. Maybe I should show how
versatile my instrument is.Copy !req
306. Now you're talking.Copy !req
307. You think I'm funny, right?
For a musician,
you're pretty funny.Copy !req
308. Good.
Then that's what I'll do.
Stand-up.Copy !req
309. Just stand-up.
Stand-up.Copy !req
310. Big Willie wants
to hear you sing.Copy !req
311. I want to hear you sing.
Then buy one of my CDs.Copy !req
312. Okay, the lights dim,
I take the stage.Copy !req
313. How many of you hate to fly?
I know I do.Copy !req
314. Mr. Nelson?
Yeah. James L. Nelson,
at your service.Copy !req
315. You must be
Samantha Jane Marquez.
Yes, I am.Copy !req
316. Talking to you on the phone,
I thought you'd be bigger.Copy !req
317. Sort of burly, you know?Copy !req
318. More facial hair.
Right.Copy !req
319. I need some lobster.
Yeah. I know what you need.Copy !req
320. The only problem is
I can't deliver
on account of Hurricane Ruth...Copy !req
321. And the wicked swell.
Yeah, I heard.
Listen, money's no object.Copy !req
322. Okay.Copy !req
323. For $1 million...Copy !req
324. me and my buddies will go on
out there.Copy !req
325. We'll pick you up
some lobster.Copy !req
326. So $1,000 a lobster?
And worth every penny.Copy !req
327. Money's now an object.
That's too bad.Copy !req
328. It was nice meeting you,
Ms. Marquez.
Mr. Nelson?Copy !req
329. What if I were to
give you something?Copy !req
330. Something that
money can't buy.Copy !req
331. Something very valuable.Copy !req
332. Yeah!Copy !req
333. Pisser!Copy !req
334. I'm busy, and you're still
full of crap.Copy !req
335. Look, I'm sorry you
don't believe me, but...Copy !req
336. I see a white light.Copy !req
337. Jackass!Copy !req
338. Come on!Copy !req
339. How's it going?
Pretty good.Copy !req
340. Can't complain. Thanks.Copy !req
341. I gotta ask you, does that
whole "I'm dying of cancer"
line really work?Copy !req
342. Like a charm.Copy !req
343. You okay?
Absolutely wonderful.Copy !req
344. Michael Bublé now wants to be
a stand-up comic.Copy !req
345. And?
And he's horrible.Copy !req
346. And you're happy because...
I have nothing to feed
my wedding guests...Copy !req
347. and my musical act is
no longer musical...Copy !req
348. but I'm not sweating
the small stuff.Copy !req
349. You were with Jay,
weren't you?
Yeah. How'd you know?Copy !req
350. Daddy, I need you to kick Jay
out of the hotel.Copy !req
351. Right.Copy !req
352. Why don't you sit down
for a second?
I don't want to sit down.Copy !req
353. Look, I just got a copy of
Jay's medical records
from his doctor...Copy !req
354. so sit down for one second.
Daddy,
I don't want to sit down.Copy !req
355. Stop with the "daddy" stuff
and sit down.Copy !req
356. I'm sorry.Copy !req
357. But Jay is telling the truth.Copy !req
358. Sure he is. Remember when he
reassembled the principal's
car on top of the gym?Copy !req
359. Are you sure you talked
to his doctor? I mean...Copy !req
360. Jay's dying, honey.Copy !req
361. Man, you look beat.
Thank you. I've just
crossed the country...Copy !req
362. twice, and in 12 hours
I'm throwing a wedding.Copy !req
363. So, I figure I have about
three hours to eat, sleep,
and shower...Copy !req
364. before I have to be
back to work.Copy !req
365. I know what you need.
What's that?Copy !req
366. You need to get laid.Copy !req
367. You must be
Delinda's friend.
Yes.Copy !req
368. Here's the thing, Jocko.
Jay.Copy !req
369. Whatever. "Getting laid"
can only lead to
"will you marry me?"Copy !req
370. Then I'm going to
have to dump you...
Actually, I'm dying of cancer.Copy !req
371. Which means
no long-term commitment,
no emotional aftermath...Copy !req
372. and no one's ever going
to know because
"Dead men tell no tales."Copy !req
373. So, you're the perfect
one-night stand.
Exactly.Copy !req
374. Almost done. Nothing.Copy !req
375. I'll run it again, but...Copy !req
376. I compared our footprint
with every major shoe
manufacturer in the world.Copy !req
377. Not a single match.Copy !req
378. Either this guy's
a real pro...Copy !req
379. Or the luckiest
son of a bitch in history.Copy !req
380. You were right.
That was exactly
what I needed.Copy !req
381. Is there any chance
we could cuddle?Copy !req
382. Don't ruin the moment.Copy !req
383. I don't know about you,
but my brain is fried.Copy !req
384. Yeah. After two days
in the surveillance room,Copy !req
385. it's nice to...Copy !req
386. be outside.
Getting in touch
with the real world.Copy !req
387. Nothing more real thanCopy !req
388. a chlorinated ocean with
a concrete bottom.Copy !req
389. No natural predators.
Completely safe.Copy !req
390. No natural predators,
completely safe.Copy !req
391. I've been talking to
some doctors at UNLVCopy !req
392. about experimental
treatments...Copy !req
393. gene therapy.
They want to set upCopy !req
394. an appointment
for tomorrow afternoon...Copy !req
395. for some additional tests.
Don't you think
Jay's been through all this?Copy !req
396. Jay will be fine.Copy !req
397. I'll make sure of it.Copy !req
398. Maybe I should call his doctor
in Houston again?Copy !req
399. You know, there were
lots of times when...Copy !req
400. we just didn't think
we'd ever make it home.Copy !req
401. And no matter what we did,
we were not going to make it.Copy !req
402. This is different.
No.Copy !req
403. No, it's not. Not really,
because when you reach
that point...Copy !req
404. you know, you can fight...Copy !req
405. you can cry, you can pray.Copy !req
406. But ultimately,
you have to accept
what happens.Copy !req
407. Yeah, but he's not fighting.
He's on vacation.Copy !req
408. We all fight
in different ways, you know?Copy !req
409. So you're telling me
just to give up?
No, I didn't say that.Copy !req
410. I didn't say that at all.
I'm saying...Copy !req
411. you...Copy !req
412. say your goodbyes,
and you make your peace.Copy !req
413. How about you?
Did you ever have to
make your peace?Copy !req
414. I just, you know...
I didn't have to.Copy !req
415. I had something
a lot stronger.Copy !req
416. I had this little girl
back home who needed me.Copy !req
417. Just made me feel like
I was bulletproof.Copy !req
418. I love you.Copy !req
419. You want to sit with me
for a little while?
We can talk about it?Copy !req
420. No?Copy !req
421. You're a mess.Copy !req
422. I know.Copy !req
423. Ed?
Yo.Copy !req
424. We checked the shoe tread
with every shoe manufacturer
in the database.Copy !req
425. But we never checked the print
against specialty lines.Copy !req
426. Specialty? Vegan shoes?Copy !req
427. I'll order you a pair
if you're interested.Copy !req
428. No. I don't believe in
walking on vegetables.Copy !req
429. Got a match.
Where are these
veg-heads now?Copy !req
430. They're meeting in Bella Sera.Copy !req
431. Yo, Larry?Copy !req
432. Where are my lobsters?Copy !req
433. What are those for?Copy !req
434. Pain pills. I'd offer you one,
but in two minutes...Copy !req
435. you'd be passed out
and your head would be
in a puddle of your own drool.Copy !req
436. Look, I want to apologize.
For what?Copy !req
437. For not listening,
not believing.
Happens all the time.Copy !req
438. I have to admit, it's the most
original come-on line
I've ever heard.Copy !req
439. You'd be surprised
how well it works.Copy !req
440. Come on.Copy !req
441. Why didn't you stay
in the hospital?Copy !req
442. My body "failed to respond to
any accepted
therapeutic modalities."Copy !req
443. And they could only promise me
a few extra weeks than
I already had.Copy !req
444. So where are you going to go
after Vegas?
I don't know.Copy !req
445. Vegas was the end of
my to-do list.Copy !req
446. The last time
the doctors checked,Copy !req
447. the cancer was
pretty much everywhere.Copy !req
448. I guess that's kind of weird,
actually.Copy !req
449. I mean, outside I look okay,
but on the inside,
I'm pretty much a mess.Copy !req
450. You're going to go back
into the hospital?
No.Copy !req
451. I don't want to spend
my last few days
on a hospital bed...Copy !req
452. with a tube down my throat,
all pumped up on morphine.Copy !req
453. Part of how you live
is how you die,Copy !req
454. and that's definitely
not for me.Copy !req
455. Besides, I still have
two unfinished items
on my list...Copy !req
456. and one of them
is skydiving.Copy !req
457. I have compared every woman
I've ever met to you.Copy !req
458. Jay, we were
in the ninth grade.
You were my first love.Copy !req
459. I'll think about it.Copy !req
460. You better think quick.
It's a limited-time offer.Copy !req
461. Jay...
Dee...Copy !req
462. you're my dying wish.Copy !req
463. You're in a lot of trouble,
Larry. Felony robbery.
Grand theft, auto...Copy !req
464. well, technically
grand theft truck.Copy !req
465. I can't tell you
where they are.Copy !req
466. Even if you put them on ice,
they're not going
to last much longer.Copy !req
467. They'll be fine.
Why'd you do it?Copy !req
468. Why?
Yeah.Copy !req
469. Las Vegas is like
the Killing Fields.Copy !req
470. 200,000 new people a day...Copy !req
471. satisfying their bloodlust...Copy !req
472. by gnawing on the flesh
of fried, and baked,
and broiled...Copy !req
473. and grilled animals.
And does anyone
even blink an eye? No.Copy !req
474. Instead, they pay homage to...Copy !req
475. Vegas' Murderer's Row:
Emeril, Wolfgang Puck,
Gunther...Copy !req
476. and Bobby Flay.Copy !req
477. When I got word that
the Montecito was going
to put to death...Copy !req
478. 1,000 lobster
right under my nose, I knew...Copy !req
479. that it was a call to action.Copy !req
480. Have you ever heard
a lobster scream?
Personally, no.Copy !req
481. But I have dipped their tails
in warm butter.
And it's quite tasty.Copy !req
482. Murderer.Copy !req
483. Where are
my lobsters, Larry?
I can't tell you.Copy !req
484. You know, Larry,
where you're going,
I have a feeling...Copy !req
485. that they're gonna make
a meat-eater out of you.Copy !req
486. I'll see you later guys.Copy !req
487. They're safe.
That's all that matters.Copy !req
488. Yeah, I know his list:
Singing, skydiving, sunrise.Copy !req
489. Jay thought I might be able to
help him with another one.Copy !req
490. That's good. Tying up
loose ends is
an important part of dying.Copy !req
491. Yeah.Copy !req
492. It's this particular loose end
that has me
a little concerned.Copy !req
493. He's didn't ask you
to do anything illegal,
did he?Copy !req
494. No, of course not.
Good.Copy !req
495. Because that's where
I would draw the line.
Any other lines?Copy !req
496. He asked you
to sleep with him, didn't he?Copy !req
497. He's been in love with me
since the ninth grade.
I'm his dying wish.Copy !req
498. How'd you know?Copy !req
499. Apparently, he's got
a lot of dying wishes...Copy !req
500. because he also asked me...Copy !req
501. and Sam...Copy !req
502. and Nessa
to sleep with him, too.Copy !req
503. You're leaving?
I'm going skydiving.Copy !req
504. So, have you
made your decision?Copy !req
505. I've given it
a lot of thought.
And the answer is no.Copy !req
506. But don't you want
to know why?
Not particularly.Copy !req
507. You keep telling me
how much you love me,Copy !req
508. how much you want to
sleep with me.Copy !req
509. I do.
But you never
once asked me...Copy !req
510. how I felt about you.Copy !req
511. You were my best friend.
Friends do anything
for each other, right?Copy !req
512. Yeah, but don't you think
a going-away lay
would change what we had?Copy !req
513. And cheapen it?Copy !req
514. I don't want to get laid.Copy !req
515. I want to make love
to the most beautiful woman
in the world.Copy !req
516. Is that what you said
to Sam, Mary, and Nessa?Copy !req
517. I don't know,
these painkillers really do
a number on my head.Copy !req
518. Oh, God.
Oh, God!Copy !req
519. All right.Copy !req
520. Come on. Just hear me out.Copy !req
521. I'm dying, and I'm desperate.Copy !req
522. Want to do everything
while I'm still alive.Copy !req
523. I just don't want to
die with any regrets.Copy !req
524. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.Copy !req
525. Delinda, I...Copy !req
526. We could always talk.Copy !req
527. And I think that's really why
I came here.Copy !req
528. I just wanted someone
to talk to...Copy !req
529. like we did when we were kids.Copy !req
530. If this is just
another line of...
Delinda, I'm scared.Copy !req
531. You're not going to break
my nose again, are you?Copy !req
532. My first kiss, and my last.Copy !req
533. Sam! Come quick.
The wedding was perfect.Copy !req
534. And the lobster?
Delicious. So fresh.Copy !req
535. Oh, good. You have no idea.Copy !req
536. Hit me!Copy !req
537. Really?
How do you do it?Copy !req
538. We have some new VIPs.Copy !req
539. And here they are:
Eight of my most favorite
lobster fishermenCopy !req
540. from Harpswell, Maine.Copy !req
541. And all you had to do
is comp their stay?Copy !req
542. That's not all I had to do.
You didn't.Copy !req
543. We're gonna hear
Michael Bublé sing.Copy !req
544. Bublé!
Bublé!Copy !req
545. They're fans. Go figure.Copy !req
546. Whatever happened to the...
I have no idea.Copy !req
547. Larry...Copy !req
548. this is
Mr. Glenn Schaeffer.Copy !req
549. He's CEO of
the Mandalay Group.Copy !req
550. He owns this hotel.
And these are my sharks.Copy !req
551. It seems that
somebody dumped...Copy !req
552. 1,000 lobsters
into his million-gallon
aquarium.Copy !req
553. Are they okay?
It's not a matter of
the lobsters being okay.Copy !req
554. I can't afford to have
my sharks die.Copy !req
555. You see, Larry,
everything that goes
into this tank...Copy !req
556. including the food,
is screened for bacteria
and disease.Copy !req
557. So, what you did here
was endanger Mr. Schaeffer's
sharks.Copy !req
558. I didn't know that they were...
It's okay.Copy !req
559. We came up with a pretty
great idea, I think.
More my idea.Copy !req
560. Okay, Glenn, it was your idea.Copy !req
561. "The Mandalay Bay
and the Montecito Resort
bring you...Copy !req
562. "Lobsterfest, all you can eat."Copy !req
563. Mikey!
Hey, Ed,
you ready for the show?Copy !req
564. I'm ready. Sure, I'm ready.
How about you? You ready?Copy !req
565. I'm ready. Of course, yeah.Copy !req
566. Listen,
how did it go with her?
Did it work out or what?Copy !req
567. Oh, man. You were right.
She is the nicest person
on the planet.Copy !req
568. Eight of them.
I did the mime.
The "Bublé in a Bubble."Copy !req
569. She just laughed at me
from the audience.
Pay up, sucker.Copy !req
570. There you go.
This was all a bet?Copy !req
571. Yeah, but no.Copy !req
572. Listen, we talk a lot,
you know, we talk a lot.Copy !req
573. And this one time
I was telling him I know
the coolest, coolest girl.Copy !req
574. And he doubted that, because
that's the way he is.
And so we made a bet.Copy !req
575. I said, "I'll bet
there's nothing you could do
that would make this girl...Copy !req
576. Sure. She listens
to this thing every day
for three months.Copy !req
577. I know the whole act.Copy !req
578. How're you?
Good.Copy !req
579. Can't wait to see you
after the show.
Good luck.Copy !req
580. I believe that is my cue.Copy !req
581. He's a great kid.
All this for a CD?Copy !req
582. No, he also promised
to come back next summer
during his national tour.Copy !req
583. This kid's gonna be huge.
What if you'd lost?Copy !req
584. Would have given him
one of my CDs.Copy !req
585. Nessa! If your chute
doesn't open...Copy !req
586. hold up your left hand!
Why?Copy !req
587. In case anybody on the ground
wants your watch.Copy !req
588. Oh, ha-ha.Copy !req
589. Time to go.
Ready.Copy !req
590. Hey!Copy !req
591. Thanks for everything.Copy !req
592. It's been one hell of a trip.Copy !req
593. No!Copy !req
594. Jay!Copy !req
595. Look, sweetie,
he did everything
he wanted to do.Copy !req
596. Apparently everyone
he wanted to do.Copy !req
597. You didn't?
Me? No.Copy !req
598. You?
No. Of course not. Mary?Copy !req
599. He's hot and he's dying.
Of course I did him.Copy !req
600. I guess he went out
in style.Copy !req
601. How was it?
Fine.Copy !req
602. I can't believe he jumped.Copy !req
603. I bet he smiled
the whole way down.Copy !req
604. I'm guessing there was a point
where he had to quit smiling.Copy !req
605. Dad!
I'm sorry. I couldn't...Copy !req
606. It's not funny.
I'm sorry.Copy !req