1. Hey, come here!Copy !req
2. Harry.
Yeah?Copy !req
3. What time is it?Copy !req
4. Oh, well, it's...Copy !req
5. I got you.Copy !req
6. So the embalming fluid's
spraying
all over the mortuary...Copy !req
7. and the body
slides off the table
onto my new assistant...Copy !req
8. who starts screaming that
the dead guy's got a woody
and is trying to do her.Copy !req
9. a bigger closet.Copy !req
10. Despite their money
and willingness
to part with it...Copy !req
11. the morticians
are creeping me out.Copy !req
12. At least you don't have
a ballroom full of coffins.Copy !req
13. How much are they worth?Copy !req
14. Dirk is worth $50 mil.Copy !req
15. He's got the largest string
of funeral homes
in North America...Copy !req
16. and he's getting richer
by the minute because
people are dying to see him.Copy !req
17. Don't give up
your day job.Copy !req
18. Get it? It's funny.Copy !req
19. Ever done it in a coffin?Copy !req
20. It was only once.Copy !req
21. I think they're kind of sexy.Copy !req
22. Yes, and they're used
to dealing with dead people...Copy !req
23. so sex with you
wouldn't be a disappointment.Copy !req
24. That was very funny.Copy !req
25. I'm on fire today.Copy !req
26. That was funny.
You laughed.Copy !req
27. You seeing this?
It's amazing.Copy !req
28. $50, dark shirt.Copy !req
29. What have we got
goin' tonight, boys?Copy !req
30. Quite possibly
the two stupidest people
on the planet Earth.Copy !req
31. Dumb and Dumber.Copy !req
32. We would have had a security
escort them out...Copy !req
33. but we got
a little side bet going on:
Which one is stupider.Copy !req
34. Yeah, so who's winnin'?Copy !req
35. You tell us.Copy !req
36. It looks like a dead heat.Copy !req
37. Well, here's the problem.
Just for fun,
we ran a check on 'em.Copy !req
38. They don't exist.Copy !req
39. There's nothin' on 'em?Copy !req
40. I mean,
there's no job history...Copy !req
41. no driver's license numbers,
nothin'?Copy !req
42. I'm pretty sure they're
too stupid to hold down jobs
or pass a driving test.Copy !req
43. Actually, there is no law
against being stupid...Copy !req
44. or pickin' your nose
in public.Copy !req
45. But even the dumbest guy
in the world...Copy !req
46. has to have some kind
of public history...Copy !req
47. we should be able
to look up, no?Copy !req
48. Here we go again.Copy !req
49. Wait a minute, this guy's got
some kind of a skin irritation
or somethin'.Copy !req
50. Push in on his arm
whatever you can.Copy !req
51. Blow it up.Copy !req
52. Looks like something's
embedded under the skin.Copy !req
53. Give me thermal and infrared.Copy !req
54. Whatever it is,
it's synthetic
and generating heat.Copy !req
55. We got a third party
joining 'em.
Putting it on the screen now.Copy !req
56. I told you to meet me
in Las Vegas.Copy !req
57. But we are in Las Vegas.Copy !req
58. Las Vegas, New Mexico,
you idiots.Copy !req
59. Whoops.
Whoops.Copy !req
60. It looks like some kind
of scanning device.Copy !req
61. We got nothin'
on the third party.Copy !req
62. Apparently, he doesn't exist,
either.Copy !req
63. What are the chances
of three non-existent guys...Copy !req
64. showing up at my casino
at the same time?Copy !req
65. Not real good.Copy !req
66. Not real good.Copy !req
67. What the...Copy !req
68. One second.Copy !req
69. Why didn't you tell me
you were coming?Copy !req
70. Are you on leave?Copy !req
71. Discharged.Copy !req
72. You're discharged?Copy !req
73. There's the winner!Copy !req
74. When did you get back?Copy !req
75. God, I missed you.Copy !req
76. Turning over chip thief
to Metro.Copy !req
77. Hey!Copy !req
78. Hey, what's up, man?Copy !req
79. How you doin'?Copy !req
80. How come you didn't call?
I missed you.Copy !req
81. Why didn't you tell us
you were coming?Copy !req
82. You got a haircut.Copy !req
83. Why don't we give the boy
some air here?Copy !req
84. Why doesn't everybody
go back to work...Copy !req
85. and we can all catch up
with each other later?Copy !req
86. It's really good
to see you, Danny.
You look great.Copy !req
87. All right,
I'll catch up with you later.Copy !req
88. Good to see you.
Good to see you, man.Copy !req
89. I knew you'd be okay.Copy !req
90. We missed you.Copy !req
91. Will you have dinner with me
tonight?Copy !req
92. Of course.Copy !req
93. I get off at 10:00.Copy !req
94. 10:00 it is.Copy !req
95. Looks like you guys
have gotten pretty slackCopy !req
96. since I've been gone.Copy !req
97. What?
Yeah, I would've...Copy !req
98. I would've spotted
that chip thiefCopy !req
99. before he made his play
for the chips.Copy !req
100. So how'd it go, man?Copy !req
101. Let's just say, I did
what they needed me to do...Copy !req
102. and now they don't need me
anymore.Copy !req
103. You guys made some changes
around here.Copy !req
104. You know, Vegas,
always reinventin' itself.Copy !req
105. So you all ready
to go back to work?Copy !req
106. That's why I'm here.Copy !req
107. Listen, why don't...Copy !req
108. You should take off
for a little while and relax.Copy !req
109. I'd rather work.Copy !req
110. If you ever need to,
you know, talk to someone...Copy !req
111. Nothin' to talk about.Copy !req
112. US forces were attackedCopy !req
113. for a third straight day...Copy !req
114. raising the death toll
once again.Copy !req
115. Mr. Deline.Copy !req
116. Welcome home.Copy !req
117. It's good to be home,
Mitch.Copy !req
118. Your car keys.Copy !req
119. Thanks for
watching after my car, Mikey.Copy !req
120. My pleasure.Copy !req
121. Except I still thinkCopy !req
122. you need to install
some antilock brakes.Copy !req
123. So who's the new guy?Copy !req
124. This is Leo.
He's been helping out
since you left.Copy !req
125. Danny McCoy.
Leo Broder.Copy !req
126. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
127. And I guess welcome back
would be appropriate.Copy !req
128. Thank you.
It's good to be back.Copy !req
129. What? Are you trying
to replace me?Copy !req
130. What are you talkin' about?Copy !req
131. Leo? No. I just need
a little extra help,
that's all.Copy !req
132. What the hell's
the matter with you?Copy !req
133. I'm just kiddin'.Copy !req
134. Goof.Copy !req
135. So...Copy !req
136. What?Copy !req
137. What have we got?Copy !req
138. We got a couple of idiots.Copy !req
139. Yeah, and one of them
has got something embeddedCopy !req
140. under his skin.Copy !req
141. A cheating device?Copy !req
142. Neither one has even
come close to gambling
since they've been here.Copy !req
143. The thing is,
the couple of them there,Copy !req
144. I don't think
they're capable of cheating.Copy !req
145. The third one, he could be.Copy !req
146. Mitch, enhance
that thermal image for me.Copy !req
147. You got it.Copy !req
148. Give me
a color shift on his body.
Cool it down.Copy !req
149. Change the color spectrum.Copy !req
150. And that, ladies,
is a serial number.Copy !req
151. Nice. My boy's still got it.Copy !req
152. Run that serial number
through everything
we got there, Leo...Copy !req
153. and then post these three guys
with Metro, FBI,
Homeland Security.Copy !req
154. Maybe we'll get lucky
with somethin'.Copy !req
155. So Dirk
and the morticians...Copy !req
156. would like to rent out
Mystique for their
end-of-convention party.Copy !req
157. We hear
it's the hottest club
in town.Copy !req
158. It is, but it won't be
if I rent it to you.
No offense.Copy !req
159. We're not offended.
We hear it all the time.Copy !req
160. People find out
what we do for a living...Copy !req
161. and all of a sudden
a root canal
sounds like fun.Copy !req
162. You won't believe
how many women change
their phone numbers on us.Copy !req
163. Change their phone numbers?Copy !req
164. I've had them
change their addresses...Copy !req
165. their medical history,
and their sexual orientation.Copy !req
166. Ouch.Copy !req
167. Look, they're pathetic.
It's one night. Work it out.Copy !req
168. Not gonna happen.Copy !req
169. Okay, she says
she can't wait
for it to happen.Copy !req
170. He's on a Homeland Security
watch list.Copy !req
171. Along with about
10 million other people.Copy !req
172. Name's Marcus Dixon.Copy !req
173. He's wanted for questioning,
along with his cousins
Harry and Tom.Copy !req
174. They're brothers
wanted for questioning...Copy !req
175. regarding the whereabouts
of their cousin Marcus.Copy !req
176. Mitch, call up
whoever the hell
we're supposed to call...Copy !req
177. and tell 'em
we got the three of them here.Copy !req
178. All right.Copy !req
179. This is
a secondary watch list...Copy !req
180. which means these guys
aren't a priority.Copy !req
181. I know,
but they're gonna want us
to keep an eye on 'em...Copy !req
182. until they have the time
to send someone over here.Copy !req
183. Leo, call up Nessa.
Tell her to flag
the three of them. Danny...Copy !req
184. you take a walk
around the casino...Copy !req
185. and see if you can figure out
what they're up to.Copy !req
186. And Mike...Copy !req
187. rig up a couple mikes...Copy !req
188. and see if we can get
a little sound, all right?Copy !req
189. I've been itching to try out
my new mini-mikes.Copy !req
190. If you're careful...Copy !req
191. you can plant 'em on a suspect
without their knowledge.Copy !req
192. You could plant trees
on these idiots
without their knowledge.Copy !req
193. Nessa, it's Leo.Copy !req
194. Hi, Leo.Copy !req
195. I want you to keep an eye
on a couple of guys.Copy !req
196. I'm shooting their picture
to you now.Copy !req
197. Okay.Copy !req
198. Did somebody dip you guys
in dum-dum sauce?Copy !req
199. So how long has Leo
been workin' here?Copy !req
200. Ed brought him in
right after you left.Copy !req
201. Right after I left?Copy !req
202. He's a good guy.
Everybody likes him.Copy !req
203. Especially the ladies,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
204. I do not want morticians
in Mystique.Copy !req
205. Okay, so I'm going
over your head on this one.Copy !req
206. So how's Mary been?Copy !req
207. Good.Copy !req
208. Luis?Copy !req
209. Man, don't take me back
to junior high with you.Copy !req
210. Mary's been true blue,
like always.Copy !req
211. So where did they ship you to?
Iraq? Afghanistan?Copy !req
212. It's classified.Copy !req
213. It itches all the time.Copy !req
214. Yeah, well,
it won't itch much longer.Copy !req
215. Really? Cool.Copy !req
216. How come it won't itch
much longer?Copy !req
217. 'Cause I'm going
to cut the itch out.Copy !req
218. What do you mean
cut the itch out?Copy !req
219. Sorry about that.Copy !req
220. You wanna go speak
to your father about it?Copy !req
221. You totally went
behind my back.Copy !req
222. Daddy, Sam's having
a little problem with
the funeral home directors.Copy !req
223. Ed, Delinda is having
a big problem...Copy !req
224. and it might stem
from the fact that
she once did it in a coffin.Copy !req
225. Excuse me?Copy !req
226. Sam's just trying
to be funny.Copy !req
227. No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.Copy !req
228. It'll be bad for business
if these morticians
have their party in Mystique.Copy !req
229. What are you talking about?
Yes, it will.Copy !req
230. He's worth $50 million.
Have you ever had...Copy !req
231. I don't care.
All you care about is money!Copy !req
232. I don't care.Copy !req
233. Excuse me!Copy !req
234. Can you guys
kind of settle this
amongst yourselves?Copy !req
235. I got nothin' to do with this.Copy !req
236. If it were anyone
other than your daughter...Copy !req
237. who just happens
to control the location...Copy !req
238. that my clients wish
to throw their very expensive
closing party at...Copy !req
239. then maybe we could.Copy !req
240. You know how fickle
this town is with restaurants
and clubs, Daddy.Copy !req
241. I mean, one night
you're the toast of the town,Copy !req
242. and the next night
you're dead.Copy !req
243. No pun intended.Copy !req
244. Listen, sweetheart,
I do think you're being
unreasonable here.Copy !req
245. I mean, it is Vegas...Copy !req
246. and people really don't care
what other people do
for a living.Copy !req
247. Unreasonable?Copy !req
248. No one calls you unreasonable
when you skip town
during the clown convention.Copy !req
249. No, that's different.Copy !req
250. Whatever.Copy !req
251. It is completely abnormal...Copy !req
252. for grown men to paint smiles
and frowns on their faces
with bright colors.Copy !req
253. You know, Daddy,
one would've thought...Copy !req
254. that the CIA
might have diagnosed...Copy !req
255. your coulrophobia
and done something about it.Copy !req
256. So, you have
a little problem with clowns,
big guy?Copy !req
257. Shut up.Copy !req
258. Delinda, give them Mystique
for the party, will you?
Delinda.Copy !req
259. But...Copy !req
260. Give them Mystique.Copy !req
261. Delinda.Copy !req
262. Shut up.Copy !req
263. Give them Mystique.Copy !req
264. Hey, Leo.Copy !req
265. Hello, Delinda.Copy !req
266. We got mikes in place, Mr. D.Copy !req
267. I don't think
I can wait until dinner.Copy !req
268. You can't?Copy !req
269. I need to be with you now.Copy !req
270. Meet me at my place.Copy !req
271. Okay.Copy !req
272. Bringing up sound now.Copy !req
273. crazy.Copy !req
274. It'll hurt if you cut the itch
outta my arm.Copy !req
275. Come on.Copy !req
276. Quit being
such a cry-baby whiner.Copy !req
277. Who are you calling
a cry-baby whiner?Copy !req
278. You!
Can you do me
a favor and act...Copy !req
279. Bingo!Copy !req
280. He has a series of microchips
embedded under his skin.Copy !req
281. An extremely complex series.Copy !req
282. This is not
your everyday pet implant
for identification.Copy !req
283. They probably
plan to use itCopy !req
284. for video poker
or slot manipulation
or something.Copy !req
285. That'd be my guess.Copy !req
286. He's making a run for it.Copy !req
287. Hey.Copy !req
288. Where'd he go?Copy !req
289. Ow, ow, ow.Copy !req
290. You and me
have to have a little talk.Copy !req
291. Mary, I don't...Copy !req
292. Hey, you are my best friend
in the world...Copy !req
293. and I don't wanna lose that.Copy !req
294. What happened between us
the night you left
was beautiful.Copy !req
295. I'm not holding you
to anything.Copy !req
296. I'm not. I'm a big girl.Copy !req
297. I knew what I was doing,
and I knew the consequences.Copy !req
298. And I'm fine...Copy !req
299. with everything
that happened...Copy !req
300. and I would do it again
in the same situation.Copy !req
301. Danny, you can't
just sleep with me
and then...Copy !req
302. Mary Connell...Copy !req
303. will you marry me?Copy !req
304. And what did he say?Copy !req
305. "Will you marry me?"Copy !req
306. And what did you say?Copy !req
307. I didn't know
what to say.Copy !req
308. So you didn't answer him?Copy !req
309. All I know is that
he wants to get married
right away.Copy !req
310. He said something about
moving to Tahoe.Copy !req
311. Tahoe?Copy !req
312. Starting a family.Copy !req
313. A family?Copy !req
314. You'd leave Vegas?Copy !req
315. I didn't even say yes yet.Copy !req
316. So does that mean
you're gonna marry him or not?Copy !req
317. Of course
she's gonna marry him.Copy !req
318. You'll marry him.Copy !req
319. We are going to throw you
the biggest wedding
Vegas has ever seen.Copy !req
320. But the most important
question is:Copy !req
321. Who's going to be
your maid of honor?Copy !req
322. You know, it's funny.Copy !req
323. It was right after one of
my special assignments...Copy !req
324. that I came home
and asked Jillian
to marry me.Copy !req
325. Really?Copy !req
326. Yeah. I'd been
in a few mixes...Copy !req
327. but this one
was a little different.Copy !req
328. I mean, we were cooked.
No backup that we knew of.Copy !req
329. I remember it
being the first time...Copy !req
330. that my life actually flashed
before my eyes.Copy !req
331. And it was a life that,
you know,
just didn't include Jillian.Copy !req
332. T. McCoy!Copy !req
333. So I swore right then...Copy !req
334. if God, or whoever,
pulled me
out of this thing alive...Copy !req
335. the first thing
I was going to do
when I got back...Copy !req
336. was ask Jillian to marry me.Copy !req
337. And, by God, I did.Copy !req
338. Hey, guys.Copy !req
339. Wow, this is
just like the bridge
on the Starship Enterprise.Copy !req
340. Actually, were the Enterprise
not fictitious, we'd still be
three times as large.Copy !req
341. I rigged up something
a little special
to tap into Harry's arm.Copy !req
342. It's not gonna hurt, is it?
Hey, there's Marcus and Tom.Copy !req
343. Harry, let me see
your arm there.
Putting it on screen now.Copy !req
344. Most embedded microchips
have magnetic coils
that activate when scanned...Copy !req
345. but this thing
has its own power source.Copy !req
346. Looks like
some kind of a code.Copy !req
347. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
348. Mike, break it.Copy !req
349. Mr. D, I can do
a lot of things...Copy !req
350. breaking codes
is not one of them.Copy !req
351. Sam!Copy !req
352. But I thought
this was what you wanted?Copy !req
353. Yeah, I do. It's just...Copy !req
354. It's cold feet, that's all.Copy !req
355. No, something is not right.Copy !req
356. All right,
watch the drinkin'.
Promise?Copy !req
357. Sam, hold it right there.Copy !req
358. Samantha Jane.Copy !req
359. It's just a few coffins.Copy !req
360. A few coffins?Copy !req
361. Mystique looks like
a graveyard.Copy !req
362. Don't get your panties
in a wad.
It's gonna be fine.Copy !req
363. For your information,
I'm not wearing any panties.Copy !req
364. And you feel the need
to broadcast that to everyone?Copy !req
365. This is not funny.Copy !req
366. You wanna give me a break?
It's 500 degrees.
I'm in wool pants.Copy !req
367. Sweat is dripping down
the back of my thighs.Copy !req
368. Me, too.Copy !req
369. Listen, the boys need to
put their coffins in Mystique
in case the IRS audits them.Copy !req
370. Mary, she filled Mystique
with coffins.Copy !req
371. Good, you finally got them
out of my ballroom.Copy !req
372. You, I like.Copy !req
373. We are not through, missy.Copy !req
374. You okay?Copy !req
375. Yeah, fine.Copy !req
376. Just have to change for work.Copy !req
377. It's the one
above the elevator.Copy !req
378. Fourteen.Copy !req
379. Damn, I lost them.Copy !req
380. Maybe if you
kept your eyes on the suspects
rather than Delinda...Copy !req
381. Well, you gotta admit
she's kind of hard
to keep your eyes off of.Copy !req
382. Let me give you
a word of advice.Copy !req
383. Ed takes losing suspects
very serious.Copy !req
384. But he takes his daughter
even more serious.Copy !req
385. Believe me, I know.Copy !req
386. Mitch, back it up
to the last known location
of these suspects.Copy !req
387. All right. Fast-forward.
More.Copy !req
388. All right, stop.Copy !req
389. They disappear
in the oversized parking lot.Copy !req
390. Pull up the cameras from
the north and south exits.Copy !req
391. You know, Mar...Copy !req
392. I have to be honest
with you.Copy !req
393. I never thought I'd be,
but I'm kind of jealous.Copy !req
394. Last night
must have been beautiful.Copy !req
395. Actually, he ran off...Copy !req
396. right after he asked me
to marry him.Copy !req
397. You mean,
you guys didn't...Copy !req
398. No.Copy !req
399. That's kind of weird,
considering where he's been.Copy !req
400. I mean, you'd think
that'd be the first thing
he'd wanna do.Copy !req
401. Yeah, that's what I thought.Copy !req
402. Yeah, she should be
coming back any minute!Copy !req
403. I can't believe
I'm saying this...Copy !req
404. but I'm not sure
about this wedding thing.Copy !req
405. Mary, everyone in Vegas knows
you two
are meant to be together.Copy !req
406. Thank you,
but I'm starting
to have my doubts.Copy !req
407. Mary, you and Danny
have been best friends
since you were two.Copy !req
408. Yeah, best friends.
And lovers...Copy !req
409. twice.Copy !req
410. And both times
it was the night
before he shipped out.Copy !req
411. Take it as a compliment.Copy !req
412. He wanted to spend
his last night with you
both times.Copy !req
413. But he didn't want
to be with me
on his first night back.Copy !req
414. Whenever my father came back
from one of his assignments...Copy !req
415. my mom and I always tried
to give him some space
so he could adjust.Copy !req
416. One day
they're getting shot at
and their friends killed...Copy !req
417. and the next day
they're back home...Copy !req
418. and they're supposed
to act normal.Copy !req
419. Well, I guess that's the part
that worries me.Copy !req
420. When he gets back to normal...Copy !req
421. Is he still gonna want
to marry me?Copy !req
422. These number sequences
are a code.Copy !req
423. We already know that, Mike.Copy !req
424. No, I mean it's a code
to break codes.Copy !req
425. It deciphers ciphers.Copy !req
426. This is one big bad mother
just waitin'
for somethin' to eat.Copy !req
427. No wonder Homeland Security
wanted Marcus for questioning.Copy !req
428. This microchip can decode
any encryption.Copy !req
429. That's how Marcus was able
to make him
and his two cousins not exist.Copy !req
430. He decoded
all their information files,
then erased everything.Copy !req
431. That would make every code
in the world vulnerable.Copy !req
432. Selling this chip
to the highest bidder...Copy !req
433. on the open market
would bring in...Copy !req
434. a lot of money.Copy !req
435. Well, maybe they're here
to meet potential buyers?Copy !req
436. What?Copy !req
437. What did your cousin Marcus
plan on doing with that chip?Copy !req
438. He plans
on cutting it out of my arm
so it won't itch anymore.Copy !req
439. Why do you think
I ran away from him?Copy !req
440. Marcus sounds like
a real nice cousin.Copy !req
441. The best.Copy !req
442. Hey, how did you
get that chip in your arm?Copy !req
443. Me, Tom, and Marcus
were drinkin' beers
one night...Copy !req
444. and when I woke up
in the mornin', my arm itched.Copy !req
445. Marcus obviously slipped it
into his arm
while he was passed out.Copy !req
446. Why are you here
at the Montecito?Copy !req
447. Actually, we're in
the wrong Las Vegas.Copy !req
448. Is it always this cold
in here?Copy !req
449. Could someone please
get him a sweatshirt?Copy !req
450. What do you mean
that you're in
the wrong Las Vegas?Copy !req
451. We were supposed to
meet Marcus in Las Vegas,
New Mexico.Copy !req
452. Las Vegas, New Mexico
is near Los Alamos.Copy !req
453. The government lab.Copy !req
454. What's Los Alamos?Copy !req
455. Here.Copy !req
456. Cool. A Montecito sweatshirt.Copy !req
457. I wanted to buy one of these,
but Marcus wouldn't let me.Copy !req
458. Hey, can I talk to you
for a sec?Copy !req
459. If you were supposed to be
in Las Vegas, New Mexico,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
460. When Marcus said to meet him
in Las Vegas...Copy !req
461. me and Tom just thought
he meant here.Copy !req
462. Last night was just
a little weird, Danny.Copy !req
463. Yeah.Copy !req
464. I'm sorry about
runnin' off like that.Copy !req
465. It kinda made me think
you don't really
wanna marry me.Copy !req
466. I've had a lot of time
to think about this...Copy !req
467. and if there's anything
that you realize
when bullets are flying...Copy !req
468. it's that life is short.
I want this.Copy !req
469. Maybe we should wait.Copy !req
470. I thought you loved me.Copy !req
471. Oh, God, I do.Copy !req
472. Then what's the problem?Copy !req
473. I just...Copy !req
474. What?Copy !req
475. I love you.Copy !req
476. And I wanna marry you,
and I wanna have
lots of babies with you...Copy !req
477. just like you always wanted.Copy !req
478. The house with the pool,
the white picket fence,
the Sunday dinners.Copy !req
479. I want it all, okay?Copy !req
480. Yeah.Copy !req
481. All right, I gotta go.Copy !req
482. They have to be hiding
in one of the RVs.Copy !req
483. There must be hundreds of them
down there.Copy !req
484. More like thousands.Copy !req
485. I really have to use
the bathroom.Copy !req
486. It's around the corner.Copy !req
487. Hey, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
488. What are you doing?Copy !req
489. I have to pee.Copy !req
490. Leo, keep an eye on him,
will you?Copy !req
491. Thank you.Copy !req
492. Party time.Copy !req
493. The microchip
has been activated.Copy !req
494. T. McCoy!
We're being overrun!Copy !req
495. How many security teams
do we have out there
searching the lot?Copy !req
496. Six teams of two
going door-to-door.Copy !req
497. Expand it to ten teams
of four.Copy !req
498. Danny, half the owners
aren't in their RV. They're
in the casino, gambling.Copy !req
499. Just do it!Copy !req
500. No more coffee for you.Copy !req
501. You know the routine,
Harry.Copy !req
502. Don't touch that!Copy !req
503. Sorry.Copy !req
504. Mitch, get this guy
back in holding.Copy !req
505. Maybe
he was just a little nervous
about askin' you to marry him.Copy !req
506. Something is wrong, Ed.Copy !req
507. He just needs a little time,
that's all. Just some time.Copy !req
508. It's not the Danny I know.Copy !req
509. No, it's not.Copy !req
510. What happened to him
over there?Copy !req
511. I don't know.Copy !req
512. Who loves you, boys?Copy !req
513. Come on, D. Mystique's
never looked better.Copy !req
514. You're so dead.Copy !req
515. What I don't get is
why anyone would trust
a complete idiot...Copy !req
516. with something so valuable
as this microchip.Copy !req
517. Yeah, I've been wondering
the same thing, Mike.Copy !req
518. Unless it's what they say,
"Blood is thicker than water."Copy !req
519. They also say,
"Stupid is as stupid does."Copy !req
520. I'm just not so sure
how stupid they really are.Copy !req
521. T. McCoy!Copy !req
522. Hey, Mitch.Copy !req
523. How long has he been
standing there?Copy !req
524. All day.Copy !req
525. I just found out
he's been working
since he got in last night.Copy !req
526. Go see what Harry wants.Copy !req
527. Hey, Danny.Copy !req
528. Ed.Copy !req
529. How long has it been
since you slept?Copy !req
530. Sleep's overrated.Copy !req
531. Yeah.Copy !req
532. How long have you been
forcing yourself
to stay awake?Copy !req
533. I got to tell you,
I knew where you were.Copy !req
534. I've always known
exactly where you were.Copy !req
535. And I also know that
you're gonna get nominated
for a Silver Star.Copy !req
536. So congratulations, man.Copy !req
537. I don't wanna talk about it.Copy !req
538. All right, well,
you need some sleep, man.Copy !req
539. No, I'm fine.Copy !req
540. You are not fine.
I'm fine.Copy !req
541. You are not fine.Copy !req
542. Now if you're not
gonna go home,
let me get you a suite.Copy !req
543. And I'm gonna make a call...Copy !req
544. make an appointment
for you to talk to someone.Copy !req
545. I'm not gonna talk to anybody.
I'm not talking to anybody.
Forget about it.Copy !req
546. Okay. Let's get some sleep.
Let's get some sleep
and we'll chat later. Come on.Copy !req
547. Ed, Harry here says
he needs to talk to you.
He says it's important.Copy !req
548. Ed, on a hunch, I ran
the three through last year's
video IQ playback...Copy !req
549. I'm sorry. Look at that.
I'm...Copy !req
550. The auction will commence
with an opening bid
of $10 million.Copy !req
551. The winning bidder
will receive the download...Copy !req
552. once the funds
are wired to my account.Copy !req
553. You all right, man?Copy !req
554. Yeah, Ed.Copy !req
555. I just thought it was...Copy !req
556. We got nothin' on Marcus
from the past year...Copy !req
557. but Cousin Tom
isn't so stupid.Copy !req
558. He's been here 11 times
in the last three months.Copy !req
559. Eleven times?Copy !req
560. If you weren't watching
surveillance and security...Copy !req
561. I'd say he's casing the place.Copy !req
562. Wait a second.Copy !req
563. Listen, this guy's
not casing the place,
he's casin' us.Copy !req
564. He's checkin' out our routine
to see what it takes...Copy !req
565. to have a guy brought up here
in the surveillance area.Copy !req
566. Ed, these names and numbers
flying by...Copy !req
567. are all the bank account
and credit card numbers
the Montecito has on file.Copy !req
568. Every guest
who's ever stayed here.Copy !req
569. This is all
their personal information.Copy !req
570. Someone's breaking
our security codes and
accessing them as we speak.Copy !req
571. This whole Dumb and Dumber thing
is a scam.Copy !req
572. A Trojan horse.Copy !req
573. They knew
if they did anything illegal,
we'd arrest them...Copy !req
574. but playing dumb
would get our attention.Copy !req
575. And the microchip
would raise
enough suspicion...Copy !req
576. for us to bring him
into the surveillance room.Copy !req
577. Where's the microchip?Copy !req
578. Where's the microchip?Copy !req
579. Danny.Copy !req
580. Ed, we have no control
over our computers.
We've been overridden.Copy !req
581. That's why the microchip
has its own power source.Copy !req
582. Listen to me.Copy !req
583. You're gonna talk,
or I'm gonna beat
the dumb back into you.Copy !req
584. Once the chip is in place,
it can only be accessed
externally.Copy !req
585. Ed, this chip
is not just a microchip,
it's a transmitter.Copy !req
586. That means
I can use the transmitter
to find them.Copy !req
587. Where's Danny?Copy !req
588. Mitch, call the girls
and tell them to find Danny.Copy !req
589. Danny.Copy !req
590. Hey, baby.Copy !req
591. I'm going to take you upstairs
to a suite.Copy !req
592. Let's get married right now.Copy !req
593. We can talk about that later.
All right?Copy !req
594. Okay? Right now
you need to sleep.Copy !req
595. Let's forget about the sleep.Copy !req
596. Let's just do it.
Let's just go and get married.Copy !req
597. You're gonna need sleep.Copy !req
598. I'm not sleeping!Copy !req
599. They're holding
an online auction...Copy !req
600. selling
the identities and numbers
to the highest bidders.Copy !req
601. By my estimation,
considering the massive size
of the encrypted files...Copy !req
602. we have less than five minutes
before the download
is complete.Copy !req
603. I'll meet you
in the parking lot.Copy !req
604. Got you.Copy !req
605. What the hell happened here?Copy !req
606. Ed, I'm really worried.Copy !req
607. When I told Danny that
I wouldn't marry him right now
and that he needed sleep...Copy !req
608. he flipped out.Copy !req
609. Don't worry, Ed.
Metro will pick up Danny.
You can't miss that car.Copy !req
610. Less than a minute.Copy !req
611. All right,
let's take them down.Copy !req
612. They found us. They found us.
Come on! Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
613. Ed, I'm going around front.Copy !req
614. Hey, man.Copy !req
615. Download complete in 10...Copy !req
616. Well, when am I gonna get
to hit a bad guy?Copy !req
617. You like that?Copy !req
618. I'm gonna kill her.Copy !req
619. She's just doing her job, D.Copy !req
620. That's right. Come on.Copy !req
621. Hi.Copy !req
622. Are you drunk?Copy !req
623. No. I love you guys.Copy !req
624. I'm just trying
to win a little bet.Copy !req
625. I just won the bet.Copy !req
626. Okay, I don't even
wanna know...Copy !req
627. Delinda Deline?Copy !req
628. Hi, I'm Delinda.Copy !req
629. Hi, I'm Jerry Meyers.Copy !req
630. Thank you.Copy !req
631. I'm so, so sorry
you have to see this.Copy !req
632. Mystique is usually
not like this.Copy !req
633. No. It's quite all right.
I represent the Proctologists'
Association of America.Copy !req
634. We're having our convention,
and we heard
about this incredible party...Copy !req
635. that you're throwing for
the funeral home directors.Copy !req
636. So I wanted to check it out...Copy !req
637. because this is exactly
what we're looking...Copy !req
638. No, this is
a one-time deal only.Copy !req
639. Whatever they paid,
we'll double it.Copy !req
640. Excuse me? I'm Sam.Copy !req
641. Hi, Sam.
Back off.Copy !req
642. Give us a little hug.Copy !req
643. Harry had me fooled.
I thought he was an idiot.Copy !req
644. Ed, I called all over.
I can't find Danny anywhere.Copy !req
645. Check with his dad?Copy !req
646. Yeah, his dad didn't even know
he was back.Copy !req
647. I talked to his neighbors.
They haven't seen him.
He hasn't been home.Copy !req
648. Get out an APB
and then check
every hotel, motel...Copy !req
649. every flophouse in this city.
All right?Copy !req
650. Excuse me.Copy !req
651. Thanks a lot, Bob.
I appreciate it.Copy !req
652. Listen, I really think
you should wait out here.Copy !req
653. Danny?Copy !req
654. You havin' a party?Copy !req
655. Just me.Copy !req
656. Well, you're supposed to
be sleepin'.Copy !req
657. I don't...
I don't sleep anymore.Copy !req
658. Hey...Copy !req
659. I'm just gonna
turn this light on over here,
okay?Copy !req
660. No, leave it off.Copy !req
661. How about...Copy !req
662. I just sit down
so we can talk?Copy !req
663. It sometimes
feels a little better...Copy !req
664. if you talk about it
with someone who's been there.Copy !req
665. There's nothin' to talk about.Copy !req
666. You need some sleep.Copy !req
667. I told you
that I don't sleep anymore.Copy !req
668. Why?Copy !req
669. Because there's nobody left
to watch my back.Copy !req
670. They're all dead.Copy !req
671. Every single one of them.Copy !req
672. I know.Copy !req
673. I had to call in
an air strike...Copy !req
674. right on top of us.Copy !req
675. You had no choice, Danny.
I mean...Copy !req
676. you were being overrun...Copy !req
677. and you absolutely
had no choice at all.Copy !req
678. Why don't you
just go and take a shower
and clean yourself up?Copy !req
679. Did you ever have to do
what I had to do?Copy !req
680. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
681. Danny.Copy !req
682. I'll watch your back, son.Copy !req