1. - MA!
IT'S BOBBY.
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2. I'M HERE FOR A VERY MUCH
MOTHER/SON BONDING WEEKEND.
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3. MA?
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4. MA?
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5. "DEAR BOBBY,
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6. "A GENTLEMAN FRIEND
HAS TAKEN ME OUT.
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7. I LEFT SOME CAPICOLA
IN THE FRIDGE."
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8. GENTLEMAN FRIEND?
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9. "TAKEN ME OUT"?
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10. CAPICOLA?
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11. MA?
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12. - HELLO, BOBBY.
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13. ARE YOU MISSING SOMETHING?
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14. OR SHOULD I SAY SOMEONE?
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15. - LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE AND I DON'T KNOW—
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16. - IT'S EAGLEWING.
- SO I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
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17. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY MOM?
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18. - SHE'S MY MOM NOW.
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19. - IF YOU KISS MY MOM,
I'LL CUT OFF YOUR LIPS.
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20. - I'M NEVER GIVING BACK
YOUR MOM.
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21. - MA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
I'M COMING FOR YOU.
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22. - YOU AND I, WE'RE GONNA
SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
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23. BECAUSE IN MY UNIVERSE,
I REIGN SUPREME.
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24. AND IF YOU—
HELLO?
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25. BOBBY?
I THINK HE HUNG UP.
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26. NO, I CAN HEAR NOISE
IN THE BACKGROUND.
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27. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
IT'S JUST, LIKE, MOVING AROUND.
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28. - BOBBY, I CAME AS SOON
AS I GOT YOUR TEXT.
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29. - THEY GOT MY MOM, BRO.
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30. - WHO GOT YOUR MA?
IS THAT CAPICOLA?
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31. - EAGLEWING GOT HER.
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32. IT'S CAPICOLA,
MORTADELLE, COCA COLA.
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33. - YOU KNOW I'M THERE
FOR YOU, BRO.
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34. BUT GOING UP AGAINST EAGLEWING?
WE CAN'T DO THAT ALONE.
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35. - THAT'S WHY I NEED TO PUT
TOGETHER A TUMULTUOUS TEAM
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36. OF RAGTAG FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND
THE MEANING OF LOYALTY.
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37. - OH, I LOVE WHEN WE NEED
A TEAM, BRO.
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38. GREAT.
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39. THIS IS BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE
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40. AND IN ADDITION TO,
THE IN ADDITION TOs.
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41. PETER PAPARAZZO,
YOU'RE THE TECH GUY.
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42. - I'M COMPUTERS.
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43. - GORGEOUS STRAIGHT GIRLS,
CAN YOU PRETEND
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44. TO BE LIPSTICK STYLE LESBIANS
AKA OUR DIVERSION?
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45. - WAIT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
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46. - FARLEY, YOU HAVE THE VOICE
OF A VERY MUCH SEXY HYENA DIVA.
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47. YOU'RE OUR ANGEL ON THE AIRWAYS
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48. AND RECORDING IT ALL IS
OUR DEAF-MUTE SOUND GUY, GIAN.
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49. AN MVP CANDIDATE EVERY DAY.
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50. C.T., YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE
THE VAN.
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51. - YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO JUST GO IN THERE
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52. AND GRAB YOUR MOTHER FOR YOU?
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53. - NO, BRO.
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54. IT'S ABOUT PERSONAL VENGEANCE
IN ADDITION TO CAMARADERIE.
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55. WHICH EXPLAINS WHY I'VE BROUGHT
YOU HERE TO THIS GARAGE.
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56. MY APOLOGIES
FOR THE MISH-MOSH DECOR.
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57. THIS IS THE PLAN.
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58. - ARE YOU COMPUTERS, JOHN?
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59. - I AM—I DON'T WANT
TO STEP ON ANYONE'S TOES HERE,
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60. BUT I AM COMPUTERS.
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61. I AM COMPUTERS, YEAH.
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62. - OH, MY GOD, I THINK I'M GOING
INTO LABOR AT THIS POINT.
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63. - WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S A TOILET BABY.
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64. - SO I KNOW IT'S MINE.
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65. - BORN INTO THE TOILET.
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66. - HERE'S WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN, C-CZAR.
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67. YOU NEED TO GET A JOB.
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68. YOU NEED TO FIND
A PLACE TO LIVE.
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69. I'M INCLINED TO DRUG TEST YOU.
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70. - I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS NOW
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71. 'CAUSE OF THE EXISTING REALITIES
OF MY LIFE.
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72. WHAT'S UP?
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73. I'M C-CZAR,
DISENFRANCHISED FATHER.
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74. I LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH.
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75. OH, YOU DON'T LIKE THAT,
DO YOU?
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76. - TODAY WE'RE HERE TO DETERMINE
YOUR CUSTODY.
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77. WHAT'S GOING ON?
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78. - YOU KNOW,
I TAKE CARE OF PINNOCHLIO...
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79. - HIS NAME IS SKYLORD.
- HIS NAME IS PINNOCHLIO.
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80. - OKAY, HIS NAME IS SKYLORD.
- SO IT'S AMICABLE?
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81. WHAT ARE YOU BOTH
LOOKING FOR HERE?
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82. - SHE'S JUST PISSED
'CAUSE I WON'T EAT HER
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83. WHEN SHE WANTS!
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84. - WELL, FOR ME IT'S LIKE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME
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85. TAKING CARE OF OUR SON
IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA STRAIGHT UP,
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86. LIKE, LAP UP ON MY STAR HOLE.
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87. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
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88. - YOU KNOW, THIS IS NOT
A THERAPY SESSION HERE TODAY.
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89. I AM GOING TO RECOMMEND
COUPLES COUNSELING
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90. FOR THE TWO OF YOU WITH
MY GOOD FRIEND RON FUNCHES.
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91. I THINK YOU COULD BENEFIT
FROM IT.
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92. - YEAH, I COULD
WITH RON FUNCHES.
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93. - IF HE GETS 3,000 HOURS
OF PRACTICING AS A THERAPIST
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94. IN ADDITION TO GRAD SCHOOL,
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95. HE WILL BECOME
A LICENSED THERAPIST.
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96. - IS HE NOT A FULL THERAPIST
YET?
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97. - HE'S A THERAPIST IN TRAINING,
AND HE WILL GET HIS LICENSE,
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98. AND YOU WILL HELP HIM
GET THE HOURS.
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99. - WELL, I MEAN, THIS IS JUST A
NEW FACET OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
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100. YOU GUYS WILL ALWAYS BE PARENTS.
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101. - I'M, LIKE, MAD AT HIM THOUGH.
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102. - IT'S LIKE, WE'RE NOT EVEN
TOGETHER,
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103. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
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104. - NO, LIKE, WE'RE NOT.
IT'S LIKE I'M NOT WITH YOU.
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105. - NO?
- MM-MM.
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106. - SO YOU GUYS AREN'T TOGETHER?
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107. - MM-MM, WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.
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108. NO.
MM-MM.
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109. - WELL, WHAT WE'RE SEEING HERE
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110. IS A LOT OF PASSION,
AND THEN ANGER...
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111. - NO, I'M NOT GONNA GO DOWN
ON YOU IN FRONT OF RON FUNCHES.
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112. - YOU GUYS ARE ENTRENCHED
IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP,
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113. AND I THINK IT'S GONNA
BE MY OPINION THAT YOU
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114. START SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.
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115. - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, LIKE,
MAYBE, LIKE,
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116. WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE
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117. AND JUST, LIKE,
SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE.
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118. - LIKE, WITH EACH OTHER?
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119. - NO.
- NO.
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120. - HE PLAYS MIKEY
ON WHEELS, ONTARIO,
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121. BUT YOU KNOW HIM BETTER
AS THE ACTOR AND ENTERTAINER
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122. BRYAN LACROIX!
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123. THIS IS OUR WEEKLY CHECK-IN
WITH OUR IN-HOUSE BRYANTOLOGIST
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124. THE HOFFMAN TWINS.
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125. - HI, I'M SHELBY HOFFMAN.
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126. - I'M KELLY HOFFMAN.
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127. - WE'RE THE HOFFMAN TWINS.
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128. - HERE'S A SNEAK PEAK OF THE—
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129. OF A NEW EPISODE
OF WHEELS, ONTARIO.
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130. - BRYAN'S CHARACTER
HAS SOME ISSUES HE HAS TO FACE.
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131. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE,
COACH TEACHER.
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132. PERHAPS YOU COULD JOIN US.
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133. - THAT WOULD BE A NEW ADVENTURE.
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134. - MIKEY, TUNES, INUIT ANDY.
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135. - OH, HEY, SCOTT.
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136. - STUDENTS USUALLY CALL ME
COACH TEACHER.
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137. - SO YOU'RE A BIG
CANADIAN BISEXUAL NOW, EH?
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138. CAN'T DECIDE
WHICH GENDER YOU FANCY?
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139. - WHAT?
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140. - MIKEY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
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141. - IT'S NONE
OF ANYONE'S OWN BUSINESS.
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142. - LET'S HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE.
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143. - UM...
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144. - OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
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145. - HEY, BOO.
WHAT'S UP?
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146. I HEARD THE NEWS.
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147. SO DOPE.
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148. SO DOPE.
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149. NOW WE CAN BE TOGETHER.
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150. - PARDON?
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151. - WHO'S MY NEXT ROMANCE?
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152. A BOY? A GIRL?
BOTH?
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153. NEITHER?
SOMEONE TRANS?
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154. SO MANY CHOICES.
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155. - MIKE, NOT AT SCHOOL.
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156. - HAVE YOU BEEN
TO RADIO SHACK BEFORE?
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157. - YEAH, I'VE BEEN
TO RADIO SHACK BEFORE.
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158. - I DON'T KNOW.
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159. I'VE GONE
INTO RADIO SHACK BEFORE.
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160. I'VE ALMOST NEVER PURCHASED
ANYTHING.
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161. - HOW ARE YOU STAYING
IN BUSINESS?
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162. - WE LOVE YOU RADIO SHACK
FOR SURVIVING.
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163. YOU'RE A SURVIVOR.
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164. - YEAH, YOU MADE IT
WHERE MANY HAVE FALLEN.
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165. - C-CZAR?
- UH-HUH.
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166. - IT'S 90 DAYS
AFTER FATHER'S DAY.
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167. - RIGHT ON.
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168. - THE STORE'S GONNA BE SWARMED
WITH DADS RETURNING PLUGS.
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169. - OKAY.
- SO I'M SAYING, BE READY.
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170. - ALWAYS.
- GOOD.
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171. - GREAT.
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172. - HI,
I NEED TO RETURN THIS PLUG.
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173. - OKAY, DO YOU HAVE A RECEIPT?
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174. - I DON'T THINK
I EVER GOT A RECEIPT.
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175. - OKAY, I CAN'T REALLY ACCEPT IT
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176. 'CAUSE IT'S NOT
IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING.
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177. - OKAY, WELL, I KNOW
I BOUGHT THIS HERE.
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178. JUST PRINT OUT THE RECEIPT...
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179. - DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME,
PLEASE.
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180. - I'M ABOUT TO RAISE
MY VOICE, OKAY?
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181. - RIGHT, WE WILL TAKE CARE
OF THAT, JUDGE LEVENSTEIN.
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182. - C-CZAR?
- YEAH, FROM BABY COURT.
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183. - YEAH, I KNOW.
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184. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
WITHOUT MY ROBE ON.
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185. - HOW ABOUT YOU
CAN RETURN THIS PLUG,
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186. AND I WILL DOCK IT FROM MY PAY.
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187. WOULD THAT BE OKAY FOR YOU?
- YOU'RE FINE.
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188. I'M GONNA LEAVE
WITH MY WORTHLESS PLUG.
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189. - I APPRECIATE THAT.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT PLUGS.
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190. - WOW, C-CZAR THE WAY
YOU HANDLED THAT JUDGE
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191. WITHOUT LOSING YOUR TEMPER,
THAT WAS SO ADULT.
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192. - YEAH, WELL, I GUESS, LIKE,
I LEARNED HOW TO BE POLITE
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193. FROM, LIKE, A COOL ADULT WHO'S,
LIKE, KIND OF MAD CUTE.
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194. SO, ON THE TIP, LIKE,
UH, WILL YOU MAYBE, LIKE,
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195. TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME?
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196. - OKAY.
- RIGHT, COOL. ALL RIGHT.
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197. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- OKAY.
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198. - I'M NOT EVEN TYPING NOTHING
OVER HERE.
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199. - ME EITHER.
- YEAH, I GOT NERVOUS.
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200. - ME TOO.
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201. - ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
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202. - HERE WE GO.
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203. - HERE WE GO.
FIRST DATE.
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204. FIRST DATE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
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205. NOW, C-CZAR, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE READY FOR THIS DATE?
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206. I MEAN, YOU STILL ARE
EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED
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207. WITH THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD.
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208. - I AIN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
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209. I DON'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT HER NO MORE.
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210. - WAIT, WHO IS THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
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211. - WELL, DON'T JUST ANSWER IT.
- WHY NOT?
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212. - DO NOT SWING OPEN THE DOOR.
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213. YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM.
JUST RELAX.
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214. EASY DOES IT.
- HEY!
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215. - OH!
OH, MY GOD.
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216. HONESTLY, C-CZAR,
I AM SO SORRY
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217. TO, LIKE, BARGE IN LIKE THIS,
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218. ESPECIALLY SINCE RON FUNCHES
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219. SAID THAT WE WERE, LIKE,
TOO EMESHED.
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220. - WHY ARE YOU HERE, LIZ?
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221. - LIKE, I JUST, LIKE,
NEED SOMEBODY TO, LIKE,
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222. SIT WITH ME
WHILE I, LIKE, BABYSIT SKYLORD.
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223. - I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT, LIZ.
- OH, YOU DO?
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224. - I COULD PROBABLY
CHANGE THE DATE.
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225. I COULD PROBABLY CHANGE
SOMETHING.
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226. - NO, NO...
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227. - NO, I WOULD,
LIKE, HATE TO DO THAT.
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228. - I'D PROBABLY VOLUNTEER
TO BABYSIT FOR YOU.
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229. - THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED.
I MEAN, THAT'S FINE.
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230. I MEAN, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
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231. - YEAH...
- I DON'T MIND.
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232. - YEAH, BOB DUKER,
YOU COULD BABYSIT.
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233. - LIZ AND I WILL JUST SIT HERE
AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
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234. YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO THINGS
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235. THAT ARE RUSTY AND SHARP,
ARE YOU?
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236. - I DON'T KNOW.
TRY ME.
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237. - OKAY, I'M GONNA GO
ON THIS DATE.
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238. - GO AHEAD.
HAVE FUN.
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239. YEAH.
- HEY!
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240. AH!
- BYE, KID. I LOVE YOU.
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241. - AS SOME OF YOU ALREADY KNOW,
MY BEAUTIFUL—
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242. MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER...
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243. - BOBBY.
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244. - WAS RECENTLY KIDNAPPED
BY THE SEXUALLY CHARISMATIC
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245. YET UNDENIABLY EVIL EAGLEWING.
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246. - SO WHAT'S THE PLAN, BOBBY B?
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247. HOW DO WE GO
AND GET YOUR MOTHER BACK?
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248. - THIS IS THE PLAN.
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249. I'VE WRITTEN IT OUT IN
SPECIAL CHALK,
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250. SO IF THE POLICE EVER SHOW UP,
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251. THEY'LL BE LIKE,
"OH, VERY COOL, VERY COOL."
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252. THE GIGOLO HOUSE
IS A VERITABLE FORTRESS
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253. WITH MANY GIGOLO ROAMING
THE PERIMETER FOR CARDIO.
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254. THESE GIGOLOS ARE EQUIPMENTED
WITH AN AK-47, AN M-480,
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255. AND AN OK-UBN ME?
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256. - OK-UBN ME.
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257. - OKAY, I'LL BE IN YOU.
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258. THIS SATURDAY,
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259. THERE'S A WHITE-HOT
BACHE-LORETTE PARTY
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260. HAPPENING AT THEIR POOL.
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261. PRETEND LESBIANS, YOUR JOB
IS TO RING THE DOORBELL
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262. AND SAY THAT YOU'VE JUST MOVED
INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
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263. - NEIGHBORS.
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264. - I'M TELLING YOU, THESE GIGOLO
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265. ARE MONSTERS
WITH AMAZING HAIR,
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266. BUT THEY WILL RELAX
IF THEY FIND OUT
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267. THAT A WOMAN DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE A SEXUAL CONQUEST.
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268. ALL OF THIS TEAMWORK WILL ALLOW
ME TO SLITHER INSIDE THE HOUSE
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269. AND GET MYSELF UPSTAIRS
AND GET MY MOTHER BACK.
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270. - BOBBY?
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271. - BUT BEFORE I DO THAT,
I GOT TO MAKE MY WAY
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272. THROUGH THIS WHITE-HOT
BACHE-LORETTE PARTY.
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273. - BRO,
THAT'S PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
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274. HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?
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275. - JUST LIKE RICHARD GRIECO
DID IN THE LATE '80s.
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276. I'M GONNA MY WAY
THROUGH.
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277. - OH.
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278. - OH, SMART.
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279. - OH, GOD.
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280. - GO, BOBBY.
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281. - LET ME SEE THIS.
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282. I KNEW HE HAD IT IN HIM.
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283. - WE GOT LESBOS
DINGING THE DOORBELL.
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284. - WE JUST MOVED IN
DOWN THE STREET.
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285. CAN WE BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR?
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286. - YOU TWO LESBIANS?
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287. YEAH.
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288. - AH, THAT TAKES SO MUCH
PRESSURE OFF US.
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289. - YES.
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290. - YOU'RE GOOD.
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291. WE GOT COMPANY.
THERE'S ANOTHER SENSOR.
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292. EAGLEWING MUST'VE ACTIVATED IT.
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293. - SO, YEAH, WE JUST
HANG OUT AT OUR PLACE.
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294. - I SEE THE ALARM SYSTEM.
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295. ALL RIGHT, FARLEY, TIME TO HIT
THAT HIGH NOTE, BABY.
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296. - NO, FARLEY.
IT'S NOT HIGH ENOUGH.
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297. - I CAN'T.
- YES, YOU CAN, BABY.
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298. I BELIEVE IN YOU, FARLEY.
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299. - YOU NEED TO DISABLE IT,
AND YOU NEED TO DO IT NOW.
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300. THOSE FAKE-ASS LESBIANS
ARE RUNNING OUT OF BULLSHIT
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301. TO GIVE THOSE HORNY GIGOLOS.
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302. - OH, YEAH,
AND WE LOVE VIDEO GAMES.
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303. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
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304. DO YOU GUYS LIKE
TO PLAY WITH MODEL TRAINS?
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305. - THIS GUY WITH THE TRAINS.
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306. - YEAH.
- WHOA, THAT'S CRAZY.
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307. WHAT IS THAT FROM?
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308. - FARLEY, HURRY.
MY BATTERY'S DOWN TO 2%.
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309. - BOBBY, I CAN ONLY HIT THAT
NOTE WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY TO ME.
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310. - YOU NEED ME
TO TALK DIRTY TO YOU NOW?
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311. - YES, I WANT YOU TO TALK—
AH, COME ON, BOBBY.
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312. - OKAY, NO PROBLEM, GIRL.
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313. FIRST AND FIRST MOSTLY LET
ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M WEARING.
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314. - OKAY, GOOD.
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315. PETER, I NEED YOU
TO GET ON MY NECK.
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316. C.T., TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.
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317. - YOU GOT IT, MAMA.
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318. - A GLADIATOR VEST.
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319. - AND, GIAN, I NEED YOU TO ACT
LIKE MY DISAPPROVING FATHER.
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320. YEAH!
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321. - YOU HITTING THOSE HIGH NOTES.
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322. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH...
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323. - OKAY, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO SOON
TO CELEBRATE, GUYS.
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324. WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING IN THERE, FARLEY?
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325. - THAT'S IT.
- OOH.
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326. - WHAT, BOBBY?
- ARE YOU JOKING ME?
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327. ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME
LIKE THAT, FARLEY?
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328. - BOBBY, YOU DON'T HAVE
THE WHOLE STORY.
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329. - LET ME JUST TELL YOU
WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS MISSION,
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330. I'M GONNA GO IN AND SLIT ALL
THE MEN'S THROAT IN THAT VAN.
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331. - BOBBY,
YOU JUST 15 WOMEN.
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332. GO FOR BOBBY.
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333. - WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO?
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334. - MA?
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335. - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
- CHECK OUT THOSE BALL BEARINGS.
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336. - WOW, LOOK.
- DAMN, IT IS.
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337. IT'S BALL BEARINGS.
- WHERE ARE YOU?
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338. - THEY'RE ALL LOOKING FOR YOU,
BOBBY.
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339. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
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340. - WHAT ROOM ARE YOU IN, MA.
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341. - CALM DOWN AND LISTEN...
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342. - BUT, MA!
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343. - THEY HAD ME BLINDFOLDED
WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME IN HERE.
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344. I HEARD THE SOUND
OF KNEE-HIGH GLADIATOR BOOTS
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345. WITH CUBAN HEEL
CLIP-CLOPPITING UP THE STAIRS.
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346. AND THEN RIGHT BEFORE
THEY GOT ME IN THE ROOM,
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347. I HEARD A RAILROAD CROSSING.
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348. 'CAUSE YOU'RE FATHER
ABANDONED US,
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349. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
THAT COULD SAVE ME, BOBBY.
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350. - MA!
- BOBBY!
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351. - THE PARTY'S STARTED.
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352. - WHEN I GOT YOUR EMAIL,
YOU SAID YOU WERE BI NOW.
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353. - YES, BECAUSE I WANTED ADVICE.
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354. - OH, I MISREAD THAT EMAIL.
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355. [bleep!
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356. - I'M EXPERIMENTING BUT THAT
DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO MAKE LOVE
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357. TO EVERY MAN I MEET.
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358. - AH,
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359. I JUST GET CATFISHED SO MUCH.
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360. - COME ON, LET'S GET OUT
OF HERE.
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361. - NO, STOP IT.
- COME ON.
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362. COME ON YOU LITTLE TEASE.
STOP BEING A TEASE.
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363. - I'M NOT BEING A TEASE.
- YOU ARE.
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364. YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE TEASE.
- I'M NOT BEING A TEASE.
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365. - , MAN.
- STOP IT.
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366. - IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY, OKAY.
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367. YOU EMAIL ME.
YOU SAID THAT YOU'RE BI NOW.
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368. I JUMPED IN A ZIP CAR.
DROVE ALL THE WAY UP HERE.
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369. SO NOW I'M STUCK IN CANADA
WITH NO ONE TO JERK ME OFF.
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370. JUST A BUNCH OF FREE GOVERNMENT
SERVICES, LAX DRUG LAWS,
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371. BEAUTIFUL SCENERY.
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372. ACTUALLY, I LIKE IT UP HERE.
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373. I THINK I MIGHT STAY.
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374. AND I JUST READ AN ARTICLE
THAT THE MIDDLE CLASS HERE
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375. IS ACTUALLY THRIVING,
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376. WHERE IN AMERICA
IT'S A REAL STRUGGLE.
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377. YOU GOT MY INFO?
- YEAH.
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378. - HIT ME UP IF YOU WANT
TO SUCK ON A REAL CHUBSTER.
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379. - THANKS.
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380. YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD TOO.
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381. - OH, YOU LIKE WHAT I'M WEARING?
- YEAH.
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382. - NO, LIKE, I'M TRASH,
AND YOU, LIKE, A PRINCESS.
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383. BUT, LIKE, A PRINCESS
YOU DON'T MIND, LIKE,
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384. GOING INTO THE FARVELA AND,
LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
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385. LIKE, A STREET RAT, LIKE...
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386. LIKE, I REALLY LIKE YOU A LOT.
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387. - WELL, ISN'T THAT A GOOD THING?
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388. - I GUESS.
CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU?
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389. - YEAH.
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390. - IT'S LIKE I'M IN THERAPY
RIGHT NOW
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391. AND THAT'S, LIKE, HARD
TO ADMIT
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392. BECAUSE, LIKE, BEING IN THERAPY
MEANS THAT, LIKE...
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393. LIKE, I HAVE WEAKNESSES.
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394. BETWEEN LIZ AND PINNOCHLIO,
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395. IT'S LIKE A LOT.
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396. - WHO'S PINNOCHLIO?
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397. - THAT'S MY BABY, PINNOCHLIO.
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398. - I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT WAS HIS NAME.
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399. - SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM SKYLORD.
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400. - SO, LIKE, YOU AND C-CZAR
ARE, LIKE, BFFs NOW?
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401. - WE'RE INCREDIBLY CLOSE.
I CONSIDER HIM A SON.
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402. - OH, THAT'S SWEET.
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403. DOES HE EVER, LIKE,
SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME?
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404. - UM, I DON'T KNOW IF I FEEL
COMFORTABLE DISCUSSING IT.
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405. - OH, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FEEL COMFORTABLE.
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406. YOU SHOULD JUST TELL ME
WHAT HE SAYS.
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407. - HOLD ON A SECOND.
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408. - OH.
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409. - WHAT'S THAT?
IS THAT ANY GOOD?
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410. - OH, MUSONEX?
ABSOLUTELY.
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411. IT'S THE GOLD STANDARD
OF EDGY SLEEP.
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412. - WOULD YOU BE INTO IT
IF I GOT A GLUG OF THAT?
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413. - OH, GLUG AWAY, MY LADY.
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414. - MMM,
I'M GONNA SLUG THIS DOWN.
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415. - GOOD THING THE FDA
DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
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416. IT'S CANADIAN.
- OH, MY GOD.
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417. LIKE, IF THE FBI KNEW
ABOUT THIS,
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418. THEY WOULDN'T SOLVE ANY CRIMES
AT ALL.
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419. - I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST BE
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE.
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420. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
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421. - I WANT TO BE A GOOD FATHER,
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422. AND I WANT TO BE
A GOOD EMPLOYEE,
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423. AND I WANT TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.
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424. - THANK YOU FOR BEING YOURSELF.
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425. - LIKE, I FEEL LIKE I LIKE YOU,
LIKE, LIKE, A SISTER.
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426. - YEAH, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE
LIKE MY BROTHER TOO.
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427. - AND, LIKE, IT WOULD BE WEIRD
FOR BROTHERS AND SISTERS
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428. TO DO INCEST, YOU KNOW?
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429. - YEAH.
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430. - I'M GLAD WE COULD KEEP
THIS PROFESSIONAL.
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431. - BOB DUKER, I'M BACK
FROM MY DATE.
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432. AND SHE WAS NICE GIRL,
BUT THERE WEREN'T NO CHEMISTRY.
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433. YO!
WAKE UP!
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434. BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM!
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435. - C-CZAR,
WHAT IS TROUBLING YOU?
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436. - I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BOY!
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437. YOU WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW,
DUKER?
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438. YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME
RIGHT NOW, DUKER?
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439. - HOLD ON, SHE DRANK TOO MUCH
MUSONEX, SO I PUT HER TO BED.
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440. - AND THEN YOU MY GIRL?
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441. - IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE
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442. THAT I COULD BETRAY YOU
LIKE THAT, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
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443. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAPERWORK
IT'D TAKE
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444. FOR ME TO GET AN ERECTION?
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445. - LIKE, HONESTLY,
HE'S FALLING APART.
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446. HE'S, LIKE, AT DEATH'S DOOR,
AND YOU COMING THROUGH THE DOOR
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447. AND ACCUSE HIM
OF BEING AT MY DOOR
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448. AND, LIKE, THAT'S NOT THE DOOR
THAT HAPPENED.
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449. IT WAS A MOOSE-UNDERSTANDING.
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450. - WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US?
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451. - I WENT ON A DATE.
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452. SHE REALLY NICE GIRL,
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453. BUT THERE WEREN'T NO—
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454. NOTHING GOING—
THERE WASN'T NO—
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455. I DIDN'T GET MY DICK—
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456. I'M NOT HAVING MY DICK.
- RELAX.
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457. - THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME.
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458. - WELL, WE'LL MAKE SOME ROOM.
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459. WE'LL JUST MOVE
DOG THE CUDDLE HUNTER HERE.
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460. - THERE'S A SPACE
WE CAN TALK IT OUT.
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461. LIKE, THERE'S NO REASON
TO, LIKE, GET SO UPSET.
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462. LIKE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST, LIKE—
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463. WE'LL JUST, LIKE,
ACT LIKE ADULTS.
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464. - I NEED SOMETHING
TO GET COMFORTABLE OVER THERE.
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465. - DON'T WAKE BOB DUKE UP.
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466. DON'T WAKE SKYLORD.
- IT'S PINNOCHLIO.
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467. - IT'S SKYLORD.
- NO, IT'S—
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468. - ARE YOU TWO SLEEPING?
- YEAH.
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469. - YEAH.
- DEAD ASLEEP.
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470. - I'M DEAD ASLEEP.
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471. - OKAY.
- WE'RE GOING TO BED.
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472. - YOU'RE SURE
YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP?
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473. - MM-HMM.
YEAH.
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474. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
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475. I WORKED COAT CHECK IN
SAN FRANCISCO AT A STRIP CLUB.
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476. MEN STRIPPING.
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477. AND THERE WERE A BUNCH OF
BACHELORETTE PARTIES IN THERE,
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478. AND THEY WERE CRAZY.
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479. - REALLY?
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480. - THE MALE STRIPPERS,
LIKE, GRAB WOMEN
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481. AND WILL WHEELBARROW WALK THEM
AROUND THE ROOM
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482. WITH THEIR SKIRTS FALLING.
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483. I MEAN, THEY ARE...
- REALLY?
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484. - SO PHYSICAL AND CRAZY.
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485. - ACTUALLY THERE ARE A NUMBER
OF VIDEOS ONLINE
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486. WHERE YOU CAN WATCH
THAT KIND OF THING.
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487. - OH, THE CRAZY ONES
AND, YOU KNOW, WITH THE...
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488. - WELL, JUST—
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489. - THERE'S SOME REALLY CRAZY ONES
OUT THERE.
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490. WHERE IT'S LIKE—
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491. - WHERE IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW,
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492. MEN A WHOLE ROOM
OF BACHELORETTES.
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493. - LIKE BODY PART...
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494. - IT'S A SPECIFIC GENRE OF PORN.
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495. - FINALLY THE HERO HAS ARRIVED.
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496. - EAGLEWING,
I KNEW IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG.
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497. - YEAH, I TOLD YOU IT WAS ME.
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498. - AND THAT'S HOW I KNEW.
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499. WHY DID YOU KIDNAP MY MOM?
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500. - OH, NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO ASK
THE INTERESTING QUESTIONS.
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501. I KIDNAPPED YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE
SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL,
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502. MOST CAPTIVATING,
MOST INTELLIGENT WOMAN
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503. I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
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504. - TELL ME SOMETHING
I DIDN'T ALREADY VERY MUCH KNOW.
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505. - FINE, I WILL!
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506. I DIDN'T KNOW MY MOTHER
OR MY FATHER.
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507. I WAS RAISED BY MY AUNT
AND UNCLE.
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508. THEY HATED ME.
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509. THEY MADE ME SLEEP IN A TINY
CLOSET UNDER THE STAIRS.
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510. THEY INSULTED ME
AND THEY BELITTLED ME.
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511. UNTIL ONE DAY WHEN A GIANT
ON A FLYING MOTORCYCLE
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512. SHOWED UP AT ME HOUSE
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513. AND HE PULLED THE WOOL
AWAY FROM MY EYES
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514. AND SHOWED ME THE REAL WORLD!
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515. A WORLD WHERE I HAD REAL POWER!
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516. , AND I TOOK THAT POWER,
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517. AND I DESTROYED THAT EVIL
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518. WHOSE NAME MUST NOT BE SPOKEN.
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519. BUT I SPOKE IT, BOBBY.
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520. AND IT WAS VOLDEMORT.
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521. AND I KILLED HIM
IN THE EIGHTH MOVIE.
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522. WHICH WAS THE SECOND HALF
OF THE SEVENTH BOOK.
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523. - EAGLEWING, I HAD NO IDEA.
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524. - SO NOW YOU KNOW A LITTLE BIT
MORE ABOUT EAGLEWING.
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525. - THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE
STORY I EVER HEARD.
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526. I AM SO SORRY.
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527. - OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH,
MS. BOTTLESERVICE.
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528. - YOU'RE WELCOME.
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529. - THAT'S THE KIND OF LOVE
THAT WAS RIPPED AWAY FROM ME.
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530. - WELL, THAT'S JUST—
THAT'S A HORRIBLE STORY.
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531. I'M SO SORRY.
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532. - YOU GOT YOURSELF
ONE HELL OF A SON HERE.
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533. THANK YOU.
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534. - AND AN EVEN BETTER GIGOLO.
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535. - I KNOW.
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536. BOBBY, WHAT YOU DID,
PLOWING YOUR WAY
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537. THROUGH THAT
WHITE-HOT BACHE-LORETTE PARTY
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538. JUST TO SAVE ME, IT WAS SO...
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539. - WHAT?
- IT WAS SO...
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540. - WHAT?
- IT WAS SO ROMANTIC.
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541. - OH, MA.
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542. - IF YOU WEREN'T MY SON.
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543. - IF YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER.
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544. - OH...
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545. I'M NOT YOUR SON.
HOW ABOUT?
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546. OH.
- I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY.
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547. - WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
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548. - I GOT TO START USING
MORE TOOTHPICKS.
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549. - THE GIGOLO HOUSE
IS A VERITABLE FORTRESS.
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550. I MEAN, THESE GUYS
ARE ROAMING THE PERID—
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551. YEAH, OUR BLOOPER REEL DOING.
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552. I LIKE TO TAKE THIS SERIOUS,
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553. BUT WHEN A BLOOPER HAPPENS,
THERE'S NO STOPPING THEM.
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554. - WE JOKE AROUND ON SET.
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555. WE JOKE AROUND ON SET!
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556. - THEN IT'S LIKE AFTER
THE MOVIE,
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557. IT'S ALL CRACK-UPS,
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558. 'CAUSE WE'RE PARTYING ALL DAY
ON SET, WHATEVER.
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559. PETER, STOP LOOKING
IN THE CAMERA, BRO.
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560. - SORRY, SORRY.
IT'S ALL THE MOVIE MAGIC.
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561. IT'S MAKING ME GO CRAZY.
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562. BLOOPERS!
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563. - HA HA.
GOOD AT BUSINESS.
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564. - OW.
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