1. Whoa! Thanks, Eric!
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2. - Morning, Wade!
- Love the new wheels, pal!
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3. The north's nothing
but sunshine and blue skies.
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4. Everything is green.
Everything is in bloom.
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5. - It's a beautiful morning—
morning— morning— morning—
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6. I think today is gonna be
a beautiful day.
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7. Hm?
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8. - Hah!
- Knuckles!
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9. - Knuckles, help me!
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10. - You gonna rescue him?
- No.
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11. Yeah, I wouldn't either.
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12. - Do something! Mr. Jorgensen!
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13. In order to become
a true warrior,
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14. he must learn
to rescue himself.
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15. - Ah! Knuckles!
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16. - [♪ thoughtful music playing]
- Wade is going to be just fine.
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17. - No, I'm not!
- [sips, sighs]
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18. - [♪ dramatic crescendo]
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19. - [♪ dramatic sting]
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20. - Hello, Wade.
- Jack?
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21. Are you shocked to see me?
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22. - What?
- You will be.
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23. - Ha!
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24. Yeah!
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25. You feeling this?
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26. - [♪ rock music playing]
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27. Ah, that's a good chap.
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28. - You're through the worst.
- Really?
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29. Feels like I'm in the middle
of the worst right now.
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30. Whatever "it" is.
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31. Let me tell you the first rule
of bounty hunting.
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32. - [♪ tense music playing]
- Know your target like
he's your former best friend.
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33. And in this case...
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34. - Captured!
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35. - [♪ dramatic sting]
- ... he is.
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36. The treasures one finds
on Facebook Marketplace.
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37. The guy I bought it from
was a total weirdo, though.
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38. Jack, please
don't do this to me.
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39. I believe I already have.
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40. Do you even know why
there's a price on my head?
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41. Do you even care?
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42. When did you become
so heartless?
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43. The second rule
of bounty hunting.
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44. Never let things get personal.
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45. You're my best friend!
This is very personal!
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46. You're right, Wade.
I should level with you.
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47. I'm in dire financial straits.
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48. Due to my lawsuit
against an unnamed
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49. rainforest-themed
restaurant franchise,
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50. I don't have two pennies
to my name.
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51. I told you, the robotic birds
in that restaurant
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52. make the same joke
no matter who walks in.
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53. - They were personal attacks!
- [♪ dramatic sting]
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54. - Okay! Whatever!
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55. Never mind.
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56. Turning you in equals
turning my life around.
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57. But if it helps,
I'm truly sorry.
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58. - Yeah, that does actually help.
Thank you.
- Terrific.
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59. Jack, think about it.
How did we get here—
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60. - Do not touch bars.
- Simple.
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61. I trapped you, lured you,
and cleverly snared you.
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62. I was hoping for a little bit
more of a fight, to be honest.
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63. I mean, as friends.
How did we get here?
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64. First Reno and the Renegades,
now this stupid bounty.
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65. Did you ever value
our friendship at all?
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66. We had a good run,
but you and I are like...
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67. the frog carrying the scorpion
across the river.
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68. Oh, my God.
Not with this story,
it goes on forever.
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69. You allow me
to ride on your back,
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70. despite knowing I cannot resist
my nature to sting you.
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71. Even if it means
we both drown.
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72. Except,
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73. I'm also a scorpion
who knows how to swim.
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74. An exquisite scorpion
with beautiful hair
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75. and a way with the ladies.
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76. Alright, let's get
this show on the road!
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77. - [♪ tense music playing]
- Jack... Jack.
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78. - Do not touch bars.
- Ouch!
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79. - Woo-hoo!
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80. Sorry about that, gang.
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81. One quick drop-off,
then it's Reno, baby. Woo!
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82. - [♪ "Send Me An Angel"
by Real Life playing]
- Karaoke time.
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83. You ready, Susie's dad?
Whose name I can't remember.
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84. For the third time,
it's Bill!
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85. I don't care.
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86. - Take it, Susie's dad!
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87. You didn't tell me
you were gonna throw it.
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88. Jack!
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89. Jack!
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90. - Do not touch bars.
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91. Come on, buddy.
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92. If you're waiting for me
to be at my all-time lowest,
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93. I am there right now,
so come and save me.
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94. Come get me.
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95. Whenever you...
feel like it—
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96. - Knuckles, help me!
- [♪ tense crescendo]
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97. - Louder, Susie's mom!
- Okay!
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98. - Kick it!
- ♪ Right now
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99. - [♪ muffled singing]
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100. - Oh, come on, dude.
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101. Jack, if this is a prank call,
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102. I am really not in the mood
for it right now.
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103. Listen to me, Wade.
Time is of the essence.
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104. Knuckles! You have to
bust me outta here.
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105. You must
bust yourself out, Wade.
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106. By learning where
a warrior's true strength lies.
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107. Okay, I understand
what you're trying to do—
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108. You will travel to
our ancestral lands,
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109. - the Great Battleground
in the Sky.
- Fine.
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110. Now, clear your mind
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111. - and slip into
a deep meditative state.
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112. I think it's working.
I'm ascending.
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113. Let's put some wattage
in this cottage!
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114. - I'm ascending to—
- Electrocute!
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115. - [♪ dramatic crescendo]
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116. Do not touch bars.
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117. - [♪ mysterious music playing]
- Where am I?
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118. I'll tell you where
you are, Wade.
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119. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down.
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120. Here, let me make
you more comfortable.
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121. - [♪ mystical sting]
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122. Whoa.
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123. Let's try again.
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124. I'll tell you where
you are, Wade.
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125. The Great Battleground
in the Sky!
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126. The Great Battleground
in the Sky is...
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127. - a bowling alley?
- Well, for you it is.
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128. For most people, this place
has more of a Florida feel,
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129. with all-you-can-eat shrimp.
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130. But this is your battleground.
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131. Okay. Who are you?
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132. My name's Pachacamac.
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133. - [♪ dramatic music playing]
- Wait. Knuckles
told me about you!
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134. You're the legendary leader
of the Echidna tribe!
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135. In the flesh, baby!
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136. Well, it's an honor
to meet you, Chief, um...
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137. - Pachacamac.
- Yeah. Chief... Pamachacaw.
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138. Pachacamac.
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139. Parmesan.
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140. - Pa.
- Peh.
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141. - Cha.
- Jor.
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142. - Ca.
- Mar.
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143. - Mac.
- Za.
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144. You know what?
Mac's fine.
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145. Okay. If that's...
easier for you.
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146. I certainly have no problem
with the correct pronunciation.
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147. - Yeah, right.
- Wait, things are
starting to make
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148. some obviously clear
and logical sense.
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149. Knuckles must've sent me here
because this is my next lesson.
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150. Hold on. Are you gonna
teach me something amazing
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151. and essential to
my real-life predicament?
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152. I'm not just going to
teach it to you, Wade.
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153. I'm going to have it
sung to you
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154. as part of
a low-budget rock opera.
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155. Now, please open your mouth.
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156. Um, I'm not really comfortable
with that.
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157. - Just do it, man. Rainbow!
- I'm actu—
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158. Wait.
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159. I'm not in the show, am I?
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160. Prepare yourself, Wade,
because if you want to learn
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161. where Knuckles'
true strength lies,
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162. - you must see this quest...
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163. through his eyes.
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164. You must become him.
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165. This is going to be awesome.
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166. Wait.
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167. I'm Knuckles?
I mean...
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168. I'm Knuckles!
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169. Hey, Wade, don't make this
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170. weirder than it already is.
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171. Got it! Good note!
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172. - Hello, Wade.
- Jack?
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173. Uh, what is Jack Sinclair
doing here?
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174. Clearly, you two have
unfinished business.
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175. Ah, yeah, no, fair point.
He does have me locked up
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176. in a giant cage right now.
Uh, proceed!
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177. Father, you can't leave me.
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178. I won't, son. I never—
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179. No!
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180. - Can I go to the bathroom?
- No, we're doing something.
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181. - I really gotta go.
- Tough.
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182. Michael Bolton, everyone!
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183. ♪ A glorious quest for glory
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184. ♪ A glorious quest for glory
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185. - [♪ music stops]
- ♪ Heart!
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186. My fists!
The secret is in my fists!
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187. That's right.
That makes a lot of sense.
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188. Thanks, everybody!
Got it.
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189. - Could've been an email!
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190. What? No!
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191. Hey, wait!
That's not the right lesson!
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192. I got it from here!
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193. - I know exactly what to do!
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194. - Of course.
- [♪ mysterious music playing]
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195. Time to unleash the source
of my true power.
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196. My fists.
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197. Why did I think that
would be a good idea?
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198. - Seriously,
do not touch bars.
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199. Oh, I shoulda listened
to the rest of the story.
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200. Take me back,
Chief Macamacachalkadoo.
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201. Well, well, well,
look who's back.
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202. You gonna let us finish now?
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203. Yes, sir. I apologize.
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204. Great.
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205. - [♪ dramatic rock music playing]
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206. Okay! Okay! Thank you!
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207. ♪ You freaking suck
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208. And now, I'm afraid
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209. this is the end
of your story.
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210. ♪ Take heed, demon
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211. - [♪ dramatic sting]
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212. Ow.
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213. - [♪ triumphant music playing]
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214. - Oh...
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215. - Oh, my back, too.
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216. How the devil
did you get out?
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217. I should've
reinforced the cage!
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218. - With my true strength.
- [♪ mystical sting]
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219. Nothing?
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220. Jack Sinclair,
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221. I challenge you to a duel.
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222. For my freedom, my honor,
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223. and that sweet
leather jacket!
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224. Finally,
the day gets interesting.
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225. A duel it is.
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226. - [laughing, panting]
- [♪ dramatic crescendo]
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227. Spry.
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228. These blades were forged
by Hattori Hanzo himself.
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229. The sharpest,
strongest blades on Earth.
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230. Great!
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231. Hiya!
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232. Oh, boy.
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233. Wade!
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234. Kufafanua wakati!
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235. I suggest you find a ride.
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236. What?
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237. I said I suggest
you find a ride!
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238. Still didn't hear it.
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239. What?
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240. - What?
- I can't hear you.
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241. I'm sorry, I'm not
hearing you all that well!
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242. - I can hear part of it,
but not all of it.
- What?
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243. You need a vehicle!
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244. In order to fight me.
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245. Oh, okay!
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246. Got it!
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247. - [♪ quirky music playing]
- Hey.
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248. How you guys doing?
That is...
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249. one cool bike.
Caught my eye.
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250. You think I could
borrow it for a few seconds?
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251. - Sure. No problem.
- Thanks.
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252. For 10 G's!
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253. Look, here's four bucks.
I'm a deputy lieutenant sheriff.
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254. I would never do
this ordinarily,
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255. but I am commandeering
this vehicle.
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256. Hey!
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257. - [♪ dramatic music playing]
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258. Alright, Wade.
You can do this.
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259. Just trust your true
inner strength.
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260. You're gonna die, idiot!
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261. That's not cool!
You don't know!
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262. - [♪ tense sting]
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263. - [whooshing, bang]
- [♪ tense crescendo]
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264. - Woohoo!
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265. Ah!
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266. Yah!
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267. Woohah!
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268. - [♪ tense synth music playing]
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269. Looking for this?
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270. My locks.
M-My beautiful locks.
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271. What have you done to me?
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272. You're lucky I didn't do
a whole lot more.
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273. - [♪ soft music playing]
- Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!
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274. You know,
I'm sorry things got
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275. a little bit outta
control back there.
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276. Finish him, Wade.
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277. With pleasure.
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278. I'm gonna need that jacket.
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279. - And the vest.
- It...
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280. It's my favorite
leather jerkin.
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281. Leather what? I don—
Just give it to me.
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282. And... the shirt.
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283. - No, no.
- It's happening.
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284. - Please... It's—
- Sorry.
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285. We were friends.
We were best friends.
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286. Former best friends.
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287. Don't look at me.
Don't look at me...
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288. Uh, do you know the third
rarely referenced rule
of bounty hunting?
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289. - Wha...
- When faced with
a worthy opponent,
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290. you run the hell away!
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291. Don't look at me!
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292. - Don't look at me!
- I did it!
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293. - [♪ triumphant music playing]
- [onlookers clapping, cheering]
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294. - [♪ mysterious vocalizing]
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295. - Is that...
- It can't be.
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296. It is.
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297. Mother.
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298. - Sister.
- [♪ song stops]
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299. - Wade. Get off the grass.
- Yep.
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300. - Yep, sorry.
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301. He's ready.
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