Knuckles 1x2

Directed by Ged Wright

Stockard Channing as Wendy Whipple • Ben Prout as Store Clerk • Jorma Taccone as Radio Host Reader (voice)

Wade plans an awesome rescue mission, while Knuckles confronts his captors.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. IceCap Ski Resort.

2. This is where the buyer wants to do the exchange?

3. He makes the rules, not us.

4. Right, help me unload the echidna.

5. Alright, little buddy. I'm coming for ya.

6. Come on, Wade. You can do this.

7. You might not be a warrior yet,

8. but you are a deputy.

9. In fact, you're one of the greatest deputies

10. in the history of law enforcement.

11. And normally, in a situation like this,

12. you'd call for backup.

13. But this is Montana, so...

14. you are the backup.

15. Rely on your instincts.

16. Think back to your police training.

17. You are prepared for this.

18. - Don't ever say I wasn't there for you.

19. Cool line.

20. I am extremely unprepared for this.

21. Where have you taken me?

22. A dungeon?

23. A torture chamber?

24. A pit so deep that no one will ever hear my screams?

25. - [♪ soft jazz playing]

26. Oh.

27. That's quite nice, actually.

28. Damn right.

29. Always pictured myself living in a place like this one day.

30. Now, I don't know how to ski, but with a house like this,

31. you bet I could learn.

32. All you have to do is sneak into the bad guy's lair,

33. try not to get yourself killed by their superpowered weapons,

34. and then save your cool new best friend.

35. What could possibly go wrong?

36. Come on, Wade.

37. What would Knuckles do?

38. He'd come up with an awesome rescue plan.

39. Ah... I am visualizing my inevitable escape

40. and your brutal destruction at my hands.

41. Yes! Your arms have just snapped off

42. with the most satisfying crunch.

43. Well, it's a good thing you're trapped

44. inside that case then, buddy.

45. Stop talking to him!

46. - [♪ dramatic sting] - He was talkin' to me.

47. Just stop talking.

48. Fine with me. I'm gonna go relax.

49. Job's done, and we about to get paid!

50. Americans.

51. - [♪ "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler playing]

52. Alright. Wade's awesome rescue plan starts now.

53. Step one, project confidence.

54. Step two, become one with the shadows.

55. Step three...

56. lock and load.

57. - ♪ Do do do do

58. - Step four, the grand finale. - ♪ I can feel his approach

59. You are truly an amazing warrior, Wade Whipple.

60. Now, as is tradition,

61. let us celebrate our victory with a warm hug.

62. I thought you'd never ask.

63. - [♪ elevator music playing]

64. Anything else?

65. Gimme a blue raspberry Icee.

66. Oh, how your screams are a symphony to my ears

67. as I crush your skulls into a fine powder,

68. - and— - Sorry. Don't mean to interrupt,

69. but, uh, you almost finished here?

70. - No!

71. Okay. Now, I am finished.

72. Do you know,

73. I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance

74. to get to know each other yet.

75. I'm actually quite an admirer of your work.

76. What could you possibly know

77. about my life of battles and quests?

78. - Oh... - [♪ tense music playing]

79. I know all about you, Knuckles.

80. Studying creatures like you,

81. your abilities,

82. where you're from.

83. That was my job for a long time.

84. I see.

85. Then, you know about my tribe's victory

86. over the vile Dr. Robotnik!

87. Of course.

88. So, if you know how I destroyed someone

89. as dangerous as him,

90. then you know how easily I can destroy someone

91. like you.

92. Is that what you think?

93. That I'm nothing?

94. That I'm no one compared

95. to the great Ivo Robotnik.

96. Well, let me assure you, you're wrong.

97. 'Cause while I know everything about you,

98. I promise,

99. you know nothing about me.

100. But when this is all over...

101. you will.

102. - Alright. Geared up.

103. Here we go.

104. Hang tight, Knucks.

105. - I'm comin' to get ya. - [♪ heroic sting]

106. All I need is the perfect rescue soundtrack.

107. Let's do this, Spotify.

108. - Time to rock out! - [♪ heroic crescendo]

109. That's not gonna...

110. - [♪ "I Don't Want To Wait" by Paula Cole playing] - Oh, no, not that song!

111. - Oh, forget it.

112. Warrior mode activated.

113. The fireworks were supposed to be the grand finale!

114. - What the hell? - What was that?

115. - Sounds like someone just set off...

116. Is that the round little man again?

117. - Oh!

118. At least she's still drivable.

119. You again!

120. That's right!

121. I'm here for the echidna!

122. - What's that beeping?

123. That can't be good. Wonder what that—

124. - Oh, no!

125. - Yah! Ay-ay-ay!

126. - Oh, no!

127. Oh, my God!

128. Wee-hee-hee-hee!

129. I will be right with you guys!

130. - Oh, God! - [♪ dramatic sting]

131. You guard the echidna. I'm gonna go and handle this.

132. Little pig, little pig, where are you?

133. I know you're here somewhere.

134. And I'm gonna find you.

135. Oh...

136. Oh!

137. - Oh!

138. I ever tell you about my time in the underground fight game?

139. - We literally just met! - I spent years

140. doing bare-knuckle cage matches and backyard brawls.

141. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

142. - [♪ dramatic music playing]

143. Doesn't sound like your rescue's going very well, does it?

144. No, it does not.

145. Such a shame...

146. Mm. Hope you're comfortable in there.

147. - You're not? Huh, never mind.

148. - [screams, groans] - [♪ dramatic sting]

149. - [♪ ominous music playing]

150. - [♪ ominous crescendo]

151. One second. I gotta take this.

152. - No, no, no, take your time.

153. - It's my mom. - Oh, yeah...

154. - Should I get that? - Yeah, you should answer it.

155. - Yeah. C-Can you... - She'll be worried.

156. - Yeah, of course. Here you go. - Hey, Mom!

157. - Hey— - It's about time you answered your phone.

158. - I been tryin' to call you. - Yes, I know you've been calling.

159. - I've been meaning to call. I've been really busy. - Hi, Mrs.--

160. - What's your name? - Mason.

161. - Hi, Mrs. Mason.

162. It's— Yeah, that's just a work friend.

163. Aw, y-you think we're friends?

164. Sorry, I'm sorry.

165. - Yeah, Ma. Okay. Ma, I'ma have to hit you back. I'm busy.

166. - Love you, Mason... - Alright, I love you, too. Bye-bye, bye.

167. - [♪ ominous sting] - Sorry about that.

168. She seems very sweet.

169. - Where was I? - You were telling some horrifying story

170. about ripping some guy's arm off.

171. - Yeah.

172. And that's why I signed up for GUN.

173. So I can get paid to beat up on superpowered freaks

174. like your little alien friends.

175. Now, I don't have to fight fair anymore.

176. Then neither do I.

177. - Sriracha!

178. Who are you working with?

179. He is my protege and my apprentice.

180. A force so strong of body, mind, and heart

181. that your last words will be a plea for a merciful death

182. from the warrior known only as...

183. - Wade. - [♪ dramatic crescendo]

184. Sorry. Sorry.

185. Say, quite a tussle back there.

186. You should see the other guy.

187. - [♪ quirky music playing] - Oh. Here he is.

188. Seriously? This is your great warrior?

189. Thought he'd be dead by now.

190. It's his first day.

191. I know I may not look like much of a warrior,

192. but...

193. no offense, you guys don't, either.

194. I mean, he looks like a sexy menswear model,

195. and you look like some kind of psychotic Uma Thurman lookalike.

196. Thank you. Now, before you die,

197. tell me one thing.

198. What does a moron like you want with the echidna?

199. - We're gonna win a bowling tournament. - [♪ music builds]

200. - [♪ dramatic music playing]

201. Oh, no!

202. What are you doing?

203. I'm hugging you, as is your celebratory tradition,

204. - is it not?

205. Come on, we gotta get outta here before they wake up.

206. - [♪ suspenseful music playing]

207. - Oh!

208. Oh, nope.

209. Whatever happens, hold on.

210. What? What do you mean?

211. - [♪ dramatic music playing]

212. We're alive!

213. Knuckles! We're alive!

214. - [♪ triumphant music playing]

215. Knuckles! You didn't tell me you could fly!

216. No. I can glide.

217. - Huh? - For very short distances.

218. - [muffled gagging, coughing]

219. - Stinks.

220. - Knuckles... - Get up!

221. Now is no time to rest, Wade Whipple.

222. - We must flee!

223. Sweet truck.

224. Drive us!

225. How? I can't just drive us. There's no keys.

226. - Okay, I can just drive us.

227. I don't know about you, but I am star—

228. Hey, look, a Burger Shack! Let's go eat!

229. - [♪ rock music ends] - Alright.

230. I think after all that running, we deserve...

231. a little snack. What do you say, bud?

232. I only eat grapes.

233. And Cool Ranch Doritos.

234. Okay, well, that explains your insane and erratic behavior.

235. Now, come on.

236. Let's eat, bubba.

237. So, I was thinking about how I rescued you before.

238. Um, on a scale of one to warrior,

239. where does Wade fall?

240. - No biggie. You can tell me after we eat.

241. Let's have a little victory feast

242. for the boys, huh?

243. What victory? We won nothing tonight.

244. Mm, correct.

245. I was taken prisoner

246. because of your failures in battle.

247. We were nearly killed several times.

248. And once again, correct.

249. And the only reason we survived at all was pure luck.

250. None of these words would be used to describe a victory.

251. Or a warrior.

252. Alright, some of the things you just said might have happened,

253. but you're looking at it the wrong way, Knuckles.

254. My dad taught me to take any win you can

255. and enjoy it.

256. Nine outta 10 warriors would call that a victory.

257. It might not have been pretty,

258. but that doesn't mean it wasn't a...

259. Glorious victory!

260. Now, you're gettin' it! Let's dig in!

261. This is gonna flop your little red braids up and down.

262. - [♪ suspenseful crescendo]

263. - We are so screwed! - Yeah, I'm pissed, too.

264. But what are we gonna do? I guess the deal's off.

265. No. No, you don't understand. The deal's not off.

266. There's no backing out with him.

267. We've been selling weapons to one of the most dangerous

268. criminal organizations in the world,

269. run by an absolute sociopath!

270. Now, we're screwing him over on a deal!

271. We don't just get to take our ball and go home.

272. We show up empty-handed,

273. he's gonna straight-up kill us.

274. Most likely in a pretty horrible way.

275. - Well, that doesn't sound great. - No! Not great!

276. Not great at all.

277. We need to get them, fast,

278. before he gets us.

279. Wade Whipple, you wish to be a warrior.

280. Yet you hail from Green Hills,

281. a place where there are no warring clans.

282. So, why do you remain there?

283. I guess... Green Hills has always just been home.

284. I mean, there must be some place in the universe

285. that's like that for you, right?

286. Since the loss of my tribe,

287. I have journeyed across every corner of the galaxy.

288. - Seen planets and stars you could only dream of. - Hm.

289. But nowhere I have called home.

290. - That must be tough for you. - Yes.

291. I made a promise to my fellow warriors

292. to find the Master Emerald and protect it.

293. - [♪ proud music playing] - That shall be my goal until the moment I join my people

294. in the Great Battleground in the Sky.

295. One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest

296. is that I have been betrayed

297. again and again.

298. And again. And again.

299. Wow. Sorry that happened to you.

300. You know how that feels, don't you?

301. To be betrayed?

302. Yeah.

303. Yeah, I know how that feels.

304. By your father, who abandoned you like common gutter trash!

305. No, I got what you were saying. Thank you very much, though.

306. Warrior or not,

307. I'm strong enough to know that I would never betray a friend.

308. You are stronger than you think, Wade Whipple.

309. I don't know about that.

310. - [♪ hopeful music playing] - On a scale of one to warrior,

311. - you are a three. - Really?

312. I'm gonna put that on my dating profile!

313. Wade Whipple. Solid three.

314. Now, come on. Let's hit the road, huh?

315. - ♪ Here I am

316. - Victory!

317. - Ha ha! - Yes! Turn it up!

318. - Alright! Yeah! - ♪ It starts to shout

319. - [♪ song stops] The Rock Zone Special Report.

320. [DJ] Alright, this just in, guys.

321. Authorities have a manhunt out for a guy named Wade Whipple.

322. You remember this guy? He was the sheriff's deputy

323. who won the Hot Pocket-eating contest

324. at last year's Spring Fest. That guy.

325. There is a bounty out for the guy now.

326. - I mean, he is royally screwed. - Screwed.

327. [DJ] I would not want to be that guy today.

328. Alright, let's get back to the music.

329. Ah...

330. Oh, my God.

331. I'm a fugitive!

332. There's a bounty on my head!

333. And I'm Munsoned out here in the middle of nowhere?

334. What are we gonna do?

335. You just love smashing radios, don't ya?

336. - Whipple! - Y-Yes.

337. First light has broken. We need safe harbor.

338. Somewhere we can stay hidden and secure.

339. I know a place we could lay low, but it's gonna mean going

340. somewhere I haven't been in a really long time.

341. - Hi, Mom. I'm home.

342. - Oh...