1. I'm sick of only seeing you
in between classes.Copy !req
2. I am this close to cracking open a book
and taking Honors English.Copy !req
3. Let's not waste these two minutes
talking about what can never be.Copy !req
4. Hey, you two.Copy !req
5. You know the school policy.Copy !req
6. No violence, no affection.Copy !req
7. Damn it, Dale,
are you stealing shingles again?Copy !req
8. No, I got a pirate radio set
at the swap meet,Copy !req
9. so I will bring to this neighborhood
a nonstop talk alternative,Copy !req
10. a constant barrage
of eye-opening conspiracies,Copy !req
11. and ad-libbed innuendi.Copy !req
12. Too bad there's only 24 hours in a day.Copy !req
13. Or is there?Copy !req
14. Tune into 84.372 to find out.Copy !req
15. Put that crap on your own roof.Copy !req
16. Ha! I played you like a set of spoons!Copy !req
17. I only pretended to put it on your roofCopy !req
18. so you'd be okay with it being on my roof.Copy !req
19. Sucker.Copy !req
20. Left brain workout over.Copy !req
21. Begin right brain workout now!Copy !req
22. Bobby, you better go.Copy !req
23. If my dad catches you here,Copy !req
24. he'll make me play that song
he wrote about you.Copy !req
25. Fat White Lump's about me?Copy !req
26. Connie, you need to relax.Copy !req
27. I brought my Game Boy.Copy !req
28. Mm. I have to practice.Copy !req
29. There's this new kid from Archer City
who's gunning for first chair,Copy !req
30. and they say he really knows
how to bring it.Copy !req
31. I do not hear beautiful music!Copy !req
32. You think Yo-Yo Ma's father
has to yell at him?Copy !req
33. Bah!Copy !req
34. Fat white lump!Copy !req
35. A nefarious government plotCopy !req
36. to store our nation's silver supplyCopy !req
37. in our mouths.Copy !req
38. Children, I implore you,
rip out your fillings!Copy !req
39. This is 24-hour Gribble talkCopy !req
40. serving the entire tri-house area.Copy !req
41. Dale is a terrible radio personality.Copy !req
42. Hey, we're listening to him.Copy !req
43. He must be doing something right.Copy !req
44. If he ran that fast at baseball tryouts...Copy !req
45. Nah, he still can't hit for beans.Copy !req
46. Where you hiding Jethro?Copy !req
47. Under haystack in living room?Copy !req
48. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. I wouldn't allow
that non-conforming putterCopy !req
49. on the golf course,Copy !req
50. and I certainly won't let you
beat my son with it.Copy !req
51. Yeah, yeah, I know,
I'm a broiled ox penis.Copy !req
52. You can't just order her
to break up with him, Kahn.Copy !req
53. Teenager's very rebellious.Copy !req
54. Big reason I started dating you
was to rebel against Papa.Copy !req
55. I thought the General liked me.Copy !req
56. No, he never think you're good enough.Copy !req
57. For my sister, maybe, but not me.Copy !req
58. We leave Laos
to make better life for Connie.Copy !req
59. And Bobby Hill ruin everything.Copy !req
60. I am going to find a way
to pry our truffleCopy !req
61. out of that pig's snout.Copy !req
62. Hey, neighbor!Copy !req
63. It's the Bobby-Mobile Express to school.Copy !req
64. Choo-choo!Copy !req
65. Hop in.Copy !req
66. No, thanks. I'd rather walk.Copy !req
67. And I don't much care for walking,Copy !req
68. so you can imagine
how I feel about you right now.Copy !req
69. Bobby, I'm reaching out.Copy !req
70. Don't leave me hanging, big guy.Copy !req
71. You and I may have many differences,Copy !req
72. but we do have one thing in common.Copy !req
73. We both want what's best
for my little girl.Copy !req
74. That's true.Copy !req
75. I am glad to see we are on the same page.Copy !req
76. So here's 300 dollars
to break up with Connie.Copy !req
77. Save that money for our wedding.Copy !req
78. That's right. Steve Harvey isn't going
to fly himself in from LA.Copy !req
79. Bobby, deep inside those folds,Copy !req
80. you must know that
you and Connie do not belong together.Copy !req
81. She is destined for Harvard,Copy !req
82. you are destined for something less.Copy !req
83. Maybe retail.Copy !req
84. I will not end up behind a counter.Copy !req
85. I will be a prop comic,Copy !req
86. Connie will be a concert violinist,Copy !req
87. and we will find a way
to be on the road together.Copy !req
88. That is the future!Copy !req
89. I suggest you get used to it... Dad.Copy !req
90. You think about it!Copy !req
91. Three hundred dollars
buy a lot of fake vomit for comedy act.Copy !req
92. I can't believe my dad tried to bribe you.Copy !req
93. Someday, I'm going to put him
in such a second-tier nursing home.Copy !req
94. Hey, lovebirds, no PDAs!Copy !req
95. This is torture!Copy !req
96. We can't hold hands in school,Copy !req
97. we can't hold hands at home.Copy !req
98. If we don't hold hands soon,Copy !req
99. I'm going to lose it!Copy !req
100. Mom! Dad!Copy !req
101. Bobby broke up with me!Copy !req
102. Wow. You have taught me
the meaning of total surprise.Copy !req
103. He said he liked me,
but he wasn't "in like" with me.Copy !req
104. I don't know about this.Copy !req
105. - It's one thing to bribe a judge, but...
- Don't you go soft on me.Copy !req
106. Better she cry now for ten minutesCopy !req
107. than spend 45 years crying that Bobby HillCopy !req
108. still not get promotion at dirt factory.Copy !req
109. Sorry, sir.Copy !req
110. Not at all.Copy !req
111. Bobby!Copy !req
112. He bought it, Connie.Copy !req
113. We're free!Copy !req
114. Gun it!Copy !req
115. Finally, we can be alone.Copy !req
116. Connie, will you hold my hand?Copy !req
117. I'd love to.Copy !req
118. If your dad knew he paid us 300 dollarsCopy !req
119. to hold hands
and look at ourselves in a mirror,Copy !req
120. he'd go crazy.Copy !req
121. Good. He doesn't care about me at all.Copy !req
122. All he cares about are my stupid grades.Copy !req
123. Let's see how my dad likes itCopy !req
124. when I'm too sad because you dumped me
to pass my Bio midterm.Copy !req
125. You're going to fail a test on purpose?Copy !req
126. You have never been more beautiful to meCopy !req
127. than you are right now.Copy !req
128. After 60 hours on the air, folks,Copy !req
129. I have to apologize.Copy !req
130. That last caller was not
the real Spiro Agnew,Copy !req
131. although he did make some cogent points.Copy !req
132. It's live talk radio, people.Copy !req
133. Working without a net here.Copy !req
134. Okay, our next caller
from nearby McMaynerbury...Copy !req
135. Oh, must be a windy day.Copy !req
136. is, and this is quite an honor,Copy !req
137. former Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev!Copy !req
138. C, C plus, two B minuses.Copy !req
139. You really did it this time, son.Copy !req
140. You set realistic goals,
and you reached them.Copy !req
141. Way to go!Copy !req
142. With grades like that,
you could become governorCopy !req
143. and then president someday.Copy !req
144. An F?Copy !req
145. A minus is unacceptable in this house.Copy !req
146. Even regular A, we're not so crazy about.Copy !req
147. What's going on?Copy !req
148. I'm so upset.Copy !req
149. I can't concentrate.Copy !req
150. The frog I had to dissect
was looking at meCopy !req
151. just like Bobby used to.Copy !req
152. But don't worry.Copy !req
153. Pretty soon, I'll be getting
much better grades.Copy !req
154. They're taking me out of honors BioCopy !req
155. and putting me in Life Skills class.Copy !req
156. Huh, there it is again.Copy !req
157. Now the proper way to clean your earsCopy !req
158. is to gently swab around the rim.Copy !req
159. Puncture the eardrum,
and you'll hear a pop.Copy !req
160. Followed by a lifetime of silence...Copy !req
161. Is this it?Copy !req
162. Is he going to say anythingCopy !req
163. about the anatomical structure of the ear?Copy !req
164. No. Just the cleaning.Copy !req
165. This is actually a review from yesterday.Copy !req
166. Got that? Cotton swabs.Copy !req
167. Passing notes, Connie?Copy !req
168. "I'm so bored I could kill myself"?Copy !req
169. Oh, my God!Copy !req
170. I haven't seen you folks
since Connie won the science fair.Copy !req
171. Yeah, well,
things have gone downhill since then.Copy !req
172. We think she's suicidal.Copy !req
173. No.Copy !req
174. I caught her passing this note to Bobby.Copy !req
175. I got to make sure your kids
aren't planning some kind ofCopy !req
176. "I jump-you jump"
Dungeons and Dragons crap.Copy !req
177. This isn't a suicide note.Copy !req
178. Connie's just bored.Copy !req
179. I hope this is just a harmless note.Copy !req
180. It's possible that Connie,
for some reason,Copy !req
181. just wasn't interested
in my ear hygiene lecture.Copy !req
182. But isn't it more likelyCopy !req
183. that she is a deeply troubled little girl,
and this is her cry for help?Copy !req
184. Connie don't need help. She perfect.Copy !req
185. That's why we love her.Copy !req
186. Perfect, huh?Copy !req
187. I noticed Connie's grades
have been slipping.Copy !req
188. That's often a warning sign.Copy !req
189. Kahn, you know what this is about.Copy !req
190. Okay, okay, okay!Copy !req
191. It's because Bobby dumped Connie.Copy !req
192. What? They broke up?Copy !req
193. Did you know about this?Copy !req
194. Hank, I am not on trial here.Copy !req
195. Kahn and Minh are,Copy !req
196. and possibly Bobby and Connie, but not me.Copy !req
197. Can I have some water?Copy !req
198. It's all my fault!Copy !req
199. I never think he good enough for my girl.Copy !req
200. Now I realize Bobby Hill
only thing keeping her alive.Copy !req
201. Of all the kids you marched
in here, Peterson,Copy !req
202. you finally got one right.Copy !req
203. We're going to have
to give back that 300 bucks.Copy !req
204. We've only got 280 left.Copy !req
205. Where are we going to get 20 dollars?Copy !req
206. Well, thank you, Carl.Copy !req
207. Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
208. No, no, no. Shh.Copy !req
209. All your mother and I ever want for youCopy !req
210. is to be happy.Copy !req
211. That's why we push you so hard.Copy !req
212. And now you're not happy
being away from Bobby Hill.Copy !req
213. So we push you
right back together with him.Copy !req
214. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
215. If I'm back together with Bobby,
I won't want to kill myself.Copy !req
216. Perfect!Copy !req
217. Tonight, I take everyone out
to fancy Italian dinnerCopy !req
218. at That's Amore.Copy !req
219. I always have very strong feelings
about Hill family.Copy !req
220. Now, those feelings are of love.Copy !req
221. All right, let's see.Copy !req
222. I told you about sperm-count-lowering
soft drinks.Copy !req
223. Told you about Supercuts' catalog and DNA.Copy !req
224. Running dry here.Copy !req
225. Wait!Copy !req
226. Is there any concrete evidence
that Hawaii actually exists?Copy !req
227. No, I already covered that.Copy !req
228. - Hmm...Copy !req
229. Does anyone remember The Drifters?Copy !req
230. All these years,
Bobby wasn't good enough for Connie.Copy !req
231. Now, suddenly, Kahn's kissing our assesCopy !req
232. like the paperboy at Christmas time.Copy !req
233. I am not even sure
Bobby should take her back.Copy !req
234. As a person who has worked with children
for many years,Copy !req
235. I can tell you this,Copy !req
236. the suicidal ones are trouble.Copy !req
237. Connie's not suicidal.Copy !req
238. She was just upset.Copy !req
239. It's not like when we were kids, Peggy.Copy !req
240. Teenagers in love today
can get very emotional.Copy !req
241. Which novelty tie
goes better with this suit?Copy !req
242. Piano or fish?Copy !req
243. - Piano.
- Piano.Copy !req
244. They call this place That's Amore.Copy !req
245. Ah, amore, love.Copy !req
246. So perfect.Copy !req
247. It is in the air tonight.Copy !req
248. Now, let us drink to this young coupleCopy !req
249. while they kiss and make up.Copy !req
250. Well, I don't know
if all parents are biasedCopy !req
251. when they watch their kids
kiss other kids,Copy !req
252. but Bobby really is the better kisser.Copy !req
253. Hey, it's Reunited by Peaches and Herb.Copy !req
254. Come on, you two. Get out on dance floor.Copy !req
255. Head on shoulder,
very nice, all that jazz.Copy !req
256. It's so creepy the way
they keep staring at us.Copy !req
257. On the plus side, now that he thinks
you want to kill yourself,Copy !req
258. he hasn't tried to kill me.Copy !req
259. I must say,
Bobby is very light on his feetCopy !req
260. for a boy of his shape.Copy !req
261. Like a young Jackie Gleason.Copy !req
262. What Bobby doing tomorrow at six o'clock?Copy !req
263. I scheduled Connie for a Bobby blockCopy !req
264. every night this week.Copy !req
265. Let's see, yeah. Uh-huh.Copy !req
266. Tomorrow at 6:00 it is.Copy !req
267. Monday was the roller rink.Copy !req
268. Tonight, we see Bathtub of Blood II.Copy !req
269. Starring Julia Roberts' brother.Copy !req
270. Dateline Arlen.Copy !req
271. What hot young coupleCopy !req
272. her hot parents and his parentsCopy !req
273. were seen canoodling over noodles
at Chow Main?Copy !req
274. That's m-a-I-n, 6325 North...Copy !req
275. Hey, Hank.Copy !req
276. How about you and ICopy !req
277. mosey over to refreshment standCopy !req
278. for long time?Copy !req
279. Leave the lovebirds all alone.Copy !req
280. Kissy kissy.Copy !req
281. I thought they'd never leave.Copy !req
282. What are you doing?Copy !req
283. First time all week we've been alone,Copy !req
284. and you're doing homework?Copy !req
285. I'm not going to get into HarvardCopy !req
286. watching slasher films.Copy !req
287. You always hated it
when your dad made you study,Copy !req
288. and now you're doing it behind his back?Copy !req
289. Bobby, I don't overachieve
because my dad makes me.Copy !req
290. I do it because...Copy !req
291. Well, there are some very complicated
psychological reasonsCopy !req
292. that I don't quite understandCopy !req
293. because you keep talking!Copy !req
294. Is it me or is it getting
a little nerdy in here?Copy !req
295. Thanks for paying for Milk Duds.Copy !req
296. Well, just getting you back
for the steak and lobster.Copy !req
297. Hey, try putting some of those Duds
in your popcorn.Copy !req
298. It's wild.Copy !req
299. Can't you stop talking about school?Copy !req
300. I wish Joseph was here.Copy !req
301. Now there's a guy
who enjoys watching a good stabbing.Copy !req
302. Well, I wish my violin was here.Copy !req
303. At least I'd have something to carry on
an intelligent conversation with.Copy !req
304. I wish it was here
so I could throw it out the window.Copy !req
305. I'd like to see you try.Copy !req
306. It would be Bobby Hill's last movement.Copy !req
307. - Huh?Copy !req
308. You don't even get it.Copy !req
309. It's a music joke. "Movement."Copy !req
310. Oh! My mind went right to poop.Copy !req
311. It's always poop with you.Copy !req
312. Why aren't windows all fogged up?Copy !req
313. My God, what happened to the Mrs. IP DailyCopy !req
314. I checked into the Jolly Roger with?Copy !req
315. She doesn't want to have
to pick a medical schoolCopy !req
316. based on what clown college you get into!Copy !req
317. Oh, stop it!Copy !req
318. You're killing her!Copy !req
319. Cock-a-doodle-doo,
it's the Morning Zoo.Copy !req
320. - Morning, baby.Copy !req
321. Aw, you look sad.Copy !req
322. You must be upset about fight with Bobby.Copy !req
323. But that okay. I schedule
hot air balloon ride for two of you.Copy !req
324. I'm not sure I want to do
anything with Bobby.Copy !req
325. What?Copy !req
326. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
327. Come on.Copy !req
328. We go deep-fry some peanut butter
and banana sandwiches.Copy !req
329. The fun we'll have.Copy !req
330. Yeah, Kahn, you go fry your bananas.Copy !req
331. Knock yourself out.Copy !req
332. He can fry a banana sandwich
pretty quick, so spill it.Copy !req
333. Mom, I was never suicidal,Copy !req
334. and Bobby and I never broke up.Copy !req
335. We were only pretending
so we could spend more time together.Copy !req
336. You lied to us?Copy !req
337. Yeah, but now that we spent
all this time together,Copy !req
338. I don't know if he's right for me.Copy !req
339. Oh.Copy !req
340. You know, honey, back in Laos,Copy !req
341. I was dating Phoukong Vivarad.Copy !req
342. He the Vice President of AcquisitionsCopy !req
343. for Ingersoll-Rand.Copy !req
344. Such a comer.Copy !req
345. The General love him like a son.Copy !req
346. Then I met your dad.Copy !req
347. At the National Science Museum.Copy !req
348. Oh, that's just a story we tell.Copy !req
349. Truth is, we meet at the discotheque.Copy !req
350. He pull up on cherry moped
wearing tight shiny shirt.Copy !req
351. And that pompadour, whoo!Copy !req
352. Daddy was a bad boy?Copy !req
353. Boy, how the General hate him.Copy !req
354. Push Phoukong on me
like you wouldn't believe.Copy !req
355. But I had to choose for myself.Copy !req
356. The corporate boy or the bad boy?Copy !req
357. Okay, you picked Dad
because Grandpa hated him,Copy !req
358. so I should stay with Bobby?Copy !req
359. No. I picked your dadCopy !req
360. because even though we very different,Copy !req
361. I knew he was right for me.Copy !req
362. I can't tell you
if Bobby right for you or not.Copy !req
363. Your dad can't tell you, either.Copy !req
364. Only you can decide.Copy !req
365. Well, folks,
earlier, I made some commentsCopy !req
366. that were deemed insensitive
by one of my key sponsorsCopy !req
367. Dale's Dead Bug, who pulled all his ads.Copy !req
368. Coward.Copy !req
369. And I can't drum up any new sales
since I'm stuck behindCopy !req
370. this microphone 24 hours a day.Copy !req
371. So, I have been forced to sell the stationCopy !req
372. to Mexican interests.Copy !req
373. Viva la revolución.Copy !req
374. Octavio.Copy !req
375. Buenos días, amigos.Copy !req
376. Presentamos el rey de la polka...Copy !req
377. Flaco jimenez, con De Bolón Pin Pon.Copy !req
378. You look like you're thinking, son.Copy !req
379. Is there something you want
to talk to your mother about?Copy !req
380. Dad, I'm thinking
of calling it quits with Connie.Copy !req
381. Again? Bobby, ladies don't like
mind games and drama.Copy !req
382. They like predictability.Copy !req
383. I don't want to hurt her.Copy !req
384. But I've never broken up
with anyone before.Copy !req
385. How do I do it?Copy !req
386. Well, I've only been with your mom,Copy !req
387. and we never broke up.Copy !req
388. But I have fired people
at Strickland Propane.Copy !req
389. You got to be honest.Copy !req
390. Tell them how they didn't
meet your expectationsCopy !req
391. and promise them a good recommendation.Copy !req
392. Hey, Connie.Copy !req
393. You up for a game?Copy !req
394. Uh, sure.Copy !req
395. I'll be Lu Manchu. You be Daisy Wah.Copy !req
396. You're terrible at this.Copy !req
397. I know.Copy !req
398. I hate video games.Copy !req
399. I know.Copy !req
400. Connie, I didn't just call you over hereCopy !req
401. because checkout's at 11:00.Copy !req
402. Um...Copy !req
403. Well, you've been a valuable
part of the organizationCopy !req
404. for two years now, but, um...Copy !req
405. - Are you firing me?
- It's, um...Copy !req
406. I think we should break up.Copy !req
407. What?Copy !req
408. But I came here to break up with you.Copy !req
409. You're just saying that.Copy !req
410. No, I mean it.Copy !req
411. I composed a breakup letter
and everything.Copy !req
412. "Bobby, there are some
fundamental differencesCopy !req
413. that suggest..."Copy !req
414. My God, you are such a nerd!Copy !req
415. I know.Copy !req
416. And all you care about is having fun.Copy !req
417. I know! And you don't.Copy !req
418. I know!Copy !req
419. I guess it's going to be kind of weirdCopy !req
420. not being boyfriend
and girlfriend anymore.Copy !req
421. Maybe a little.Copy !req
422. But it's not like we hate each other.Copy !req
423. No, no.Copy !req
424. We're still friends, right?Copy !req
425. Right, friends.Copy !req
426. And still neighbors.Copy !req
427. Sure. Unless you're moving.Copy !req
428. I'm not going anywhere.Copy !req
429. Neither am I.Copy !req
430. We've still got 20 minutes left
on the room.Copy !req
431. Maybe we could hold hands one last time?Copy !req
432. Fat white lump.Copy !req