1. Okay, I was gonna do this
after you got home from school...
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2. but I'm too excited.
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3. The turkey knife!
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4. That's right.
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5. I've been waiting for the right
year and if you feel ready...
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6. this Thanksgiving you will be carving
one of the three tom turkeys.
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7. I'm ready, Dad.
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8. I wasn't ready last year.
I realize that now.
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9. Okay. Pretend it's Thanksgiving
and this bread is a turkey.
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10. Oh, my God, it's so juicy.
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11. You see, Bobby, on Thanksgiving...
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12. people will be so jazzed
by the moistness of the turkey...
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13. you'll have to tune them out.
Now, try again.
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14. The kids' table needs dark meat!
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15. Dale, I read that the government
returned 84,000 acres...
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16. to the Utes near the
Orahee Reservation.
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17. It's a good precedent for our
tribe's lawsuit, don't you think?
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18. Well, with me acting
as your legal advisor...
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19. I am confident you have
an airtight case.
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20. Although I am not sure what you mean
by "precedent."
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21. - Hey, Dad.
- Son.
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22. Joseph, hello.
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23. Hey.
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24. So...
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25. is that a new backpack?
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26. Looks good on you.
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27. You know,
I'm speaking to your class today.
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28. We'll be going over the Native
American role in Thanksgiving.
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29. Why don't I give you a ride to school?
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30. No. I'll ride my bike.
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31. Dad, my bike chain is busted.
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32. No problem, son.
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33. I'm pretty sure I keep a chain tool
in Hank's garage.
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34. Morning, John Redcorn.
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35. Nancy, you just missed Joseph.
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36. Well, I guess you see him every day.
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37. He's just grown so much.
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38. Too much time goes by
without me seeing him.
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39. - Thank God for the holidays.
- Yeah, about that...
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40. I just don't think it's a good idea
your coming by this Thanksgiving.
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41. But I barely see my son
since we broke up.
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42. Sug, he's Dale's son, remember?
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43. Say that now.
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44. But when it comes time to get him into
college, let's see what box you check.
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45. My people once owned what is now
central and southern Texas.
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46. Our land was taken from us
by the white man.
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47. - Mr. Redcorn?
- Yes?
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48. Are you sure it's the white man
who did all that stuff?
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49. Because I come from white people and
this is the first I'm hearing of it.
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50. Yes, I am sure.
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51. Wow.
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52. Yes, wow.
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53. You know, Bobby, if you are
interested in learning more...
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54. I could give you and
Joseph a ride home.
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55. Ride? Really? I've been
dreading the walk home all day.
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56. These legs get dog-tired by 3:10.
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57. Luanne, are you ready for another
Thanksgiving Boggle tournament?
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58. Aunt Peggy, everybody hates
your Boggle tournament.
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59. - What?
- What?
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60. You just said that everybody hates
my Boggle tournament?
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61. I didn't say that, I thought it.
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62. Well, now that you know, everybody
does hate your Boggle tournament.
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63. But it's because you give grades
instead of prizes.
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64. Yes, Boggle is a harsh mistress.
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65. Maybe I should come up with a game
that other people have a chance at.
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66. It's gonna be tough to find one
that doesn't give me an advantage.
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67. Okay, Johnny. Stay cool.
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68. Don't bore him.
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69. Where's Joseph going?
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70. Who knows? That kid's
a freaking mystery.
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71. I waited two-and-a-half hours.
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72. And I really appreciate that.
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73. Especially after all you say
the white man did to the Indians.
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74. You don't know the half of it.
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75. The white man is still doing it.
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76. Hundreds of years of the systematic
rape of my people is not enough, is it?
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77. I'm sorry.
I just have to ask again.
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78. This is the white man?
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79. I've researched all the very
best games in the world.
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80. And what I learned was
people like to spin.
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81. And people like to choose.
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82. The trick was getting rid
of all the boring stuff in between.
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83. Spinning and choosing. I like those.
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84. Wait. What do I get to choose?
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85. Well, some game shows
have you choose a letter.
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86. Who cares?
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87. Some shows have you choose a category.
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88. My God, wake me up when it's over.
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89. In my game, you take that choice
and you spin it.
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90. The name of the game is...
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91. Spin the Choice.
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92. Luanne, do you want
to spin the choice?
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93. See you, Mr. Redcorn.
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94. Bobby, in honor of
your first carving...
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95. we're gonna fry up
one of the turkeys this year.
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96. Dad, that is no way to celebrate
the rape of the Native Americans...
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97. for 350 years.
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98. Bobby, don't use the word "rape,"
it's not polite.
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99. I don't know how else to describe
this idiotic ritual.
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100. Dad...
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101. you and your white people stole
hundreds of thousands of acres...
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102. from John Redcorn. And now you
celebrate by frying a turkey?
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103. When does the killing end?
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104. - What the...
- Hank, you're terrible.
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105. - I am not—
- Just give him his land back, Hank.
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106. You can't just barge in here!
This room is my property and...
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107. What's the use? Look
who I'm talking to.
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108. You are talking to your father.
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109. And you will not use
that Frenchman's wave with me.
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110. Wait. This is about the
turkey carving, isn't it?
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111. It's all right
to have some pre-carving jitters.
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112. The good ones always do.
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113. Yes. What could be
more important than turkey?
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114. This makes me sick!
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115. "Thankstaking" isn't a time
for celebration.
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116. I refuse to carve your turkey.
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117. It is basted in the
blood of the innocents.
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118. I'm out!
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119. This was gonna be
the perfect Thanksgiving.
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120. Bobby carving his first turkey...
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121. my dad going out of town...
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122. Pie...
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123. Do not blame Bobby.
I taught him to keep an open mind.
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124. Maybe I taught him too well.
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125. Come on! The naked photography books
are downstairs.
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126. Somebody's gonna buy them all
before we get a chance to even look.
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127. Is that all you think about?
Photography?
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128. I only have a day to plan an authentic
Native American protest feast.
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129. And if anything has to thaw or ripen,
I gotta know now.
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130. Joseph, how about this?
Running into each other.
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131. Hey, Mr. Redcorn.
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132. I had this old headdress
lying around.
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133. And I thought, well,
you might like it.
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134. Horns and a feather. Thanks.
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135. John Redcorn.
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136. What in the hell
have you been telling my son?
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137. If I stole all that land, would I be
living on a dang eighth of an acre?
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138. We will rise up and reclaim
all of what was once ours.
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139. He is the spirit of our people.
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140. Bobby is?
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141. Joseph.
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142. Oh.
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143. Hank.
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144. Oh, boy.
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145. I want my son back.
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146. I don't know.
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147. I hope there'll
be some apple pie.
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148. Bobby, not in front of the Boomhauers!
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149. I'm sorry, Dr. Boomhauer.
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150. What are you doing?
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151. What better way to educate than to
have my own "Thankstaking" meal?
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152. It's gonna be very in-your-face.
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153. I refuse to eat
the white man's white meat!
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154. That's it. You're going to your room.
And stay off the guests' coats.
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155. Hank, come on. Let him be.
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156. This is normal teenage rebellion.
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157. When I was his age,
I wrecked my parents' bicycle.
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158. All right, fine.
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159. But this whole anti-Thanksgiving thing
couldn't have come at a worse time.
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160. Well, the game is
pretty straightforward.
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161. You can choose to spin
or you can choose to choose.
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162. If you choose to spin, you can land on
"spin," or "choice," or "lose a spin"...
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163. or "lose a choice," or "free spin"...
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164. or "free choice," or "spin again."
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165. I'll be right back.
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166. She loves the game.
But her ex-lover just showed up.
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167. Most players won't face
such distractions.
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168. Hank, what's John Redcorn doing here?
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169. I thought he was here for you.
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170. Not in a while, Sug. I'm scared
he might do something stupid.
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171. Would you mind kicking him out?
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172. - Hey, John Redcorn.
- Hank.
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173. Are you here for
something in particular?
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174. Because this is kind of
a family and neighbor kind of—
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175. - Bobby invited me.
- Bobby?
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176. He's just a minor.
He doesn't have the authority to—
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177. Is this because of what happened
in the car the other day?
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178. - I don't know what you're talking about.
- I was crying.
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179. And you felt a little
uncomfortable with—
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180. Well, I know you're here to see Bobby,
so I won't keep you.
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181. Hello, Bobby. How's the good fight?
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182. - Well, Mr. Redcorn, I found—
- There's Joseph!
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183. John Redcorn, what a pleasant
surprise. Have a beer.
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184. What the hell
do you think you're doing here?
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185. I'm going to talk to my son.
I bought him a skateboard.
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186. He's already got a skateboard,
and a helmet, and a father! So, leave.
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187. John Redcorn, hey.
Here's something to be thankful for.
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188. You got a settlement offer
from the government.
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189. Twelve delicious acres
of unincorporated Arlen.
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190. Twelve? I was seeking 130,000.
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191. There's no way I'm
accepting this insult.
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192. Come on. Twelve's a lot.
Eleven of them are connected.
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193. The other one's across the highway. If
you don't want them, I'll take them.
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194. You're right. This is
something to drink to.
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195. May I have your
attention, everyone?
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196. I would just like to make a toast
to our friend, John Redcorn Ill...
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197. celebrating the return
of 12 acres of land.
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198. Almost 0.001% of what he was seeking.
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199. Kudos.
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200. All right, then.
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201. Joseph hates me.
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202. Why would Joseph hate you?
He barely knows you.
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203. I would also like to make a toast...
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204. to the white man who steals our land
and steals our sons.
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205. To the white man!
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206. To the white man?
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207. What the hell.
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208. Bobby, if you have anything nice to
say about the American Indians...
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209. now would be a good time.
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210. Thank you for finally
hearing our voice.
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211. My friend John Redcorn...
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212. has taught me about how important
the history of his people is...
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213. especially on this day.
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214. And I am the only one who saw fit...
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215. to prepare a feast that honors
the Native American culture...
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216. not my land-grabbing ancestors.
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217. According to many expensive books
I studied at the bookstore...
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218. the Anasazi tribe from this region...
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219. celebrated their most festive occasions
by eating the body of their enemies.
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220. Anthropologists have found the
leftovers of these sacred meals...
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221. human bones with shiny patches...
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222. as if rubbed smooth
against the walls of cooking pots.
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223. So, today we salute
the Native American cannibal...
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224. or people-eater.
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225. It is in this spirit...
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226. that I invite you to enjoy
a Native American cannibal feast.
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227. Mr. Redcorn. This head's for you.
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228. Oh, man. You eat people?
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229. Joseph, don't listen to him.
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230. That was over 700 years ago!
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231. Get your hands off me,
you cannibal freak!
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232. John Redcorn, it's me.
I brought you a to-go plate...
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233. it's the neck and gibs.
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234. They were this close
to giving them to the dog.
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235. Look, I feel terrible
for what Joseph said.
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236. My son has all the Gribble passion
with none of the Gribble charm.
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237. Your son?
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238. Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you
about "your son." Sit down.
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239. Fourteen years ago,
I was gassing up my jeep, and I met...
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240. Do I still need to use an ashtray?
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241. You want me to consult the rule book,
Dr. Boomhauer? Fine...
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242. you lose.
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243. Sorry. I thought you were Mr. Redcorn.
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244. That guy creeps me out.
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245. John Redcorn is a good man who's
lost everything important to him.
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246. Yeah, his stupid land.
Get over it already.
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247. Joseph John Gribble,
you should be ashamed of yourself.
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248. What if your father lost the places he
hunted, and fished, and lived, and loved?
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249. Maybe it's my fault you don't
understand anything about his heritage.
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250. It's time we had a talk.
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251. Okay. How about this?
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252. Some things in life just happen.
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253. You don't want to hurt anyone, but...
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254. Come on. So Joseph
called you a cannibal.
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255. It's not like it's true, is it?
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256. Of course not. Any cultural
anthropologist will tell you...
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257. that the Anasazi tribe last practiced
cannibalism over 700 years ago!
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258. And you are affiliated
with what tribe?
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259. Dale, I don't eat people!
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260. For God's sake! It would be like
me accusing you of cannibalism...
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261. just because that nut in Michigan who
boiled body parts on his stove was white.
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262. And that disc jockey in Philadelphia
who ate people in his basement.
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263. Also white.
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264. Boy, you're really up on your
cannibalism, John Redcorn.
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265. - Well, look at the time.
- It just makes me so angry.
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266. You should know I'm
highly carcinogenic.
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267. Okay, that bell means you get a chance
to spin the prize wheel.
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268. I came up with the prize wheel
late last night.
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269. So picture this as a 30-foot wheel
that spins.
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270. Bill, spin my arm.
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271. Come on!
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272. Come on!
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273. I win a Winnebago!
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274. So close! I spun it a little too hard.
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275. Hello?
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276. John Reds-mum's kidnapped me
and he's going to eat me.
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277. You're with John Redcorn?
Has he told you anything?
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278. He's playing it very coy.
You have to save me, Hank.
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279. Now, here's the plan.
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280. Dale, you're just going...
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281. Well, I've got nothing!
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282. Peggy, I got to go for a spin
to pick up Dale.
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283. He's over at Redcorn's,
scared out of his pants.
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284. I want to go.
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285. I want to go, too. For Mr. Redcorn.
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286. - Bobby, haven't you done enough to him?
- It's my choice.
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287. Then give me your choice card.
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288. I'm glad the Cowboys lost today,
after all they did to the Indians.
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289. Damn it, don't go
dragging them into this.
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290. You're already in enough trouble.
You called John Redcorn a cannibal.
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291. That's one of the worst things
you can call a person.
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292. No, it's not!
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293. The New York Times says cannibalism
is part of his cultural heritage.
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294. And you have to respect
other people's culture.
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295. Who are we to judge?
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296. I am not judging,
I am stating a simple fact.
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297. It is wrong to eat human beings.
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298. Says you.
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299. Yes. And I'll say it again. It is
wrong to eat another human being.
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300. But it was right for the white man...
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301. to throw blankets with smallpox
onto the Indian reservations?
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302. No. That was wrong, too.
But so is eating human beings.
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303. Bobby, I agree
that stealing Indians' land was wrong.
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304. Can't you agree
that eating people is wrong?
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305. - I guess.
- There you go.
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306. You know, I left one turkey uncarved.
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307. Can I have the knife back?
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308. You sure can, Bobby.
But you barely need a knife...
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309. 'cause that bad boy
is so goddang succulent.
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310. So, what did you say to Dale?
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311. Nothing yet.
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312. I can't believe she left me for that.
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313. She didn't leave you for that.
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314. She married that
two years before she met you.
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315. - Dad!
- Joseph's here? Good.
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316. I can tell both of
them at the same time.
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317. Get back in the truck behind Bobby
where you're safe.
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318. It's okay. He's not
going to eat anyone.
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319. Mr. Redcorn,
I know you're not really a cannibal.
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320. My mom told me.
She told me a lot of things.
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321. Really? Like what?
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322. How the white man stole your land
and your heritage...
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323. and that it's time you got it back...
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324. and how we're all
children of the earth.
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325. So in a weird way, we're related.
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326. So what did you want to tell us,
Kemo Saba?
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327. I think I will take those
12 acres after all.
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328. And then, upon my death, I would like
to pass the land on to you, Dale...
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329. for all the help you've given me.
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330. Score!
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331. Then Joseph will live
on my forefathers' land after you die.
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332. Thanks, Capt. Bring-Down.
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333. This is nice land, John Redcorn.
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334. With a little TLC...
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335. I bet you could
turn this into a real nice place.
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336. Maybe put up a garden
and a fence and—
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337. I am thinking about suing
the Highway Department...
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338. to put in a sound-dampening fence.
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339. Oh, my God, it's sojuicy.
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