1. Yahoo!
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2. Sir, I am very sorry we shorted you
on your propane delivery.
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3. Even though this was
the new gal's mistake...
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4. I'll be noting it on my own record
as well. I'll be right out there.
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5. Hank, let's go to lunch. I have
been craving cheese all morning.
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6. Sorry, I can't take
you to lunch today.
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7. That new gal Buck hired?
Well, long story short...
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8. she's dumb as a charcoal briquette.
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9. Yo, dude.
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10. I might have messed something else up.
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11. This dude called.
And he was talking so fast.
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12. Propane this, something gas that.
I was, like, whoa.
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13. Dang. I am such a spaz.
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14. Tammi, this is my wife Peggy.
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15. Peggy, this is our new
customer-service associate, Tammi.
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16. You know, you look a lot like
the last girl Buck hired.
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17. Of course she's dead now.
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18. We'll have lunch another time.
Maybe tonight.
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19. You know, if you've got no one
else to have lunch with...
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20. I'll go with you.
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21. I mean, only if you want to.
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22. Oh, no, I'm just trying to think
if there's anything else I need to do.
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23. Well, shall we?
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24. I'll get my hair spray.
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25. What do you order here?
This menu is totally wack.
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26. Personally, I like the
La Crépe Suzette.
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27. Get out. You talk French?
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28. Actually, I am a substitute
espafialteacher.
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29. That is so slamming.
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30. Well, when you think about it,
I suppose it is slamming.
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31. Your parents must be psyched.
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32. No.
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33. I could be queen of Egypt
and my mother wouldn't give a hoot.
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34. Wow.
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35. I really know that trip.
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36. My mom and I haven't talked
since I dropped out of school.
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37. Or maybe it was since
I totaled her Vette.
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38. Your mother drove a Corvette?
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39. Chevette.
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40. You would not have dropped
out of school on Peggy Hill's watch.
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41. I make learning fun, incredibly fun.
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42. Well, that's why I moved here
from Oklahoma City.
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43. I just wanted to start over,
you know, maybe get my GED.
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44. Dang, I'm thirsty. Hey, Pierre!
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45. How about a couple of Diet Cokes?
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46. Pierre? Well, look
who's talking French now.
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47. The Thai food was Tammi's idea.
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48. The notion of taking it out was mine.
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49. Someday I would like
to travel to Thairabia...
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50. and see those pyramids.
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51. So, Luanne, you go to
community college?
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52. That is awesome. I am
totally impressed.
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53. I've never even finished a whole book.
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54. Well, that's just because
you've never had the right tutor.
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55. If Helen Keller can
graduate from college...
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56. you can certainly get your GED.
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57. My G-freaking-ED?
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58. Your learning adventure begins
tomorrow after work, at your place.
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59. If you have cats, please vacuum.
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60. M'! Mace?
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61. Actually, I kind of got kicked out
of my apartment last night.
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62. So I'm living out of the car.
But we can meet at Starbucks.
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63. Could I use the phone in your bedroom?
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64. It's long-distance. But
I'll pay you back.
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65. "Could" you or "can" you? You may.
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66. Hank, we are not letting Tammi
sleep in her car.
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67. Let's give her the den until
she gets back on her feet.
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68. Not my den. No way.
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69. It took me two years
to get this one out of there.
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70. If Boomhauer got kicked out of his house,
you would let him stay in the den.
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71. Yes. But Boomhauer is a family friend.
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72. Plus, he's immaculate.
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73. Tammi!
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74. Hank and I just discussed it.
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75. And I insist that you stay with us
until you find a new place.
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76. What? But...
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77. You guys are the raddest.
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78. This calls for a celebration.
I'm staying up till 11:00.
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79. My dad's taking the truck
to a swap meet this weekend...
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80. so I'd better take
scratch-and-ding inventory now.
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81. Hang on a sec!
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82. That Tammi's quite a dish.
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83. Frankly though, I think
my Nancy has a nicer can.
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84. Hank, do you think Nancy has
a nicer can than Tammi's can?
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85. My wife's can vis-é-vis
your wife's friend's can?
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86. Stop it, Dale.
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87. It's bad enough
I have to live with her now.
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88. Running around the house
in those miniskirts.
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89. That pager never stops beeping.
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90. And I've had it up to here with her
coming in all hours of the night.
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91. How do my girls look, Hank?
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92. I wouldn't know.
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93. Well, where are you off to
all jazzed up like that?
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94. I'm just going to hang
out with a friend.
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95. Oh, another friend.
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96. I'm sorry. I thought I was your
friend. Who is this other friend?
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97. He's an old bud from Oklahoma City.
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98. You know,
passing through town on business.
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99. Maybe your old bud
would like to meet your new bud.
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100. Definitely. Definitely next time.
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101. Hey. Long time no see.
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102. You still charging
your Oklahoma City rate?
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103. $100 a throw, up front, like always.
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104. I know a place where we can park.
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105. Boy, Peggy. I don't know.
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106. I'm beginning to suspect
that Tammi is a, well...
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107. a freeloader.
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108. No, she is not.
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109. If there is one thing I know,
Hank, it is people.
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110. And Tammi is good people.
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111. See you.
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112. She took the best piece of ham.
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113. I was saving that for Ladybird.
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114. Hey, everybody. I'm home.
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115. I thought you were going out
with your other friend.
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116. He was just in town for the hour.
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117. That's odd. Why would he—
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118. Hank, before I forget,
this is for you. It's $50.
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119. I mean, you guys have been
so amazing to me.
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120. It's the least I can do, you know, for
using your phone and chowing your food.
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121. That makes the score, Peggy Hill: one,
and people who doubt Peggy Hill: zero.
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122. Yeah. That bottom paper tray
needs to be filled.
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123. - It's full.
- Well, top it off.
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124. You know, Tammi, I run a private
propane-tutorial retreat...
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125. up at my lake house.
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126. If you got a thirst for knowledge
and margaritas, I'm free this weekend.
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127. Thanks, Buck. But...
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128. I'm pretty booked up this weekend.
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129. Most weekends actually.
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130. Donna, get in here.
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131. Boy. I had her all wrong.
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132. It takes a lot of character to stand up
to Buck when he turns on that charm.
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133. Oh, Hank. Tammi's got more sense
than to go after a married man.
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134. Poor kid. She's probably very lonely and
it doesn't help that we're waving...
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135. our happy marriage in her face
all the time.
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136. Hey, why don't I introduce Tammi to
some of the single guys on my route?
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137. Maybe she'll meet a nice fellow
to settle down with.
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138. She is gonna make
someone a great wife.
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139. But it's gonna have to be someone
who can hold her interest.
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140. Her dates never last
more than an hour.
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141. Howdy, Hank. Well, who's this?
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142. This is Tammi Duvall.
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143. She's new over at Strickland.
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144. Lane Pratley of Pratley
Cadillac Hyundai.
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145. As in, the owner.
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146. Oh!
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147. Cool. Nice to meet you.
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148. Well, I'm gonna go check the tanks.
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149. So, feel free to talk while I'm gone.
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150. Fine, fine. So...
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151. how long you been in town?
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152. I think I also better
check the gaskets.
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153. That's fine!
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154. So, how long you been in town?
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155. Dang.
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156. "Official GED Practice Tests. "
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157. Do you really think I can pass?
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158. Oh, please.
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159. People who haven't even graduated
from high school can do this.
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160. Now, here is the first book
you're going to finish.
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161. "Congo, by Michael Crichton."
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162. This is the kind of book
people read on planes.
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163. Now, that would look hot on you.
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164. Oh, no. I could never wear
something that bold.
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165. Why not? You've sure got the legs.
You ought to show them off.
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166. That dress is pretty rad.
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167. We'll hit the make-up counter.
And when I'm through with you...
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168. believe me, honey,
you are gonna be stopping cars.
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169. Oh, yeah.
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170. Hey, Dad.
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171. Them's the keys to my Cadillac car.
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172. Remember, under no circumstances...
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173. is the wife allowed
in my Cadillac car.
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174. Unless she's in a bag in the trunk.
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175. I know.
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176. Have fun at the swap meet.
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177. I hope you cleaned
the bed liner in your truck.
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178. I don't want no dirt
on Hitler's canoe.
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179. Hank, would you mind seeing
if that's for me? I'm not ready yet.
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180. Well, I'll be god-danged.
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181. - Do I know you?
- I don't think so.
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182. - You ever work Houston?
- No.
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183. - Vegas?
- No.
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184. - Tijuana?
- No.
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185. - Reno?
- No.
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186. Hey, Mr. Burton.
Is everything okay with your tanks?
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187. I safety-checked them this afternoon.
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188. Oh, right. Yeah.
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189. The tanks are fine.
I'm just here for, you know...
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190. Tammi. We have a date.
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191. Well, hold on. I'll go get her.
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192. - The Philippines?
- No.
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193. Bangkok?
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194. I think I would have remembered you.
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195. Don't be so sure, sweet cheeks.
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196. I've been known to
give a girl amnesia.
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197. Dad, please don't bring us back
another Japanese skull.
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198. It's just gonna gather dust.
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199. Tammi, Miles Burton's at the door.
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200. He says he's got a date with you.
What's that about?
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201. Hank, you introduced us.
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202. But I thought you were going out
with Lane Pratley tonight.
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203. I am.
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204. After my date with Miles.
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205. Oh. I see.
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206. Nothing wrong with
having lots of different suitors.
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207. That's the way dating used to be,
back in my mom's day.
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208. This is a little present for you...
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209. because you are so rad.
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210. And this is next week's
rent in advance.
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211. You are one class
act, I tell you what.
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212. And...
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213. I have one more surprise for y'all.
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214. - Peggy, you ready?
- As always.
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215. Presenting the new, improved...
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216. Peggy Hill.
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217. Whoa!
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218. What? You don't like it.
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219. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
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220. You look hot.
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221. Well, that's true.
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222. Okay, everybody, I gotta fly.
Peace out.
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223. I wonder what she got me.
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224. I kind of like it.
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225. Well, we look like a
couple of movie stars.
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226. We sure do, baby.
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227. Yup.
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228. Yup.
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229. All right. If no one's going to
say it to you, Hank, I'll say it.
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230. I am jealous of that hat.
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231. Me, too.
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232. Yeah, man. That dang thing
is a smooth little hat, man.
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233. Yeah. I tell you, it's pretty sporty.
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234. I've got to wear it around
to break in the felt.
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235. I don't mean to put you
on the spot, Hank, but...
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236. do you think I'd have
a shot with Tammi?
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237. Look, Bill, you're a great guy.
But I've set her up with...
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238. some of the most
prominent men in Arlen.
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239. And none of them has
been good enough...
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240. for her to date exclusively.
She's very selective.
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241. Reverend Stroup.
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242. Hank.
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243. Give me the money.
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244. Come here.
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245. Donald, let go of me.
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246. Hey, come on.
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247. I mean it.
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248. Hey, don't you ever lay your hands
on a lady. You understand?
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249. Okay. You're ripping the jacket.
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250. Now, what's the problem here?
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251. This hosebag owes me money.
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252. Give her the money, friend.
I'm not gonna ask you twice.
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253. Okay. But she—
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254. You mess with her, you mess with me.
Now, hand over the money!
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255. Okay, all right. We're cool, okay?
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256. Yeah, we're cool. Now, beat it.
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257. Hank, man, you are the bomb.
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258. Well, from the reaction we're getting,
I guess...
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259. they haven't had two pretty women
in this library in a while.
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260. Dude, check out the feet
on the one on the left.
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261. - It's gotta be a guy.
- But there's no Adam's apple.
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262. - They can fix that.
- I've been with worse.
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263. Mrs. Hill, is that you?
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264. Well, hello, Mike.
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265. You must be Mrs. Soto. Hello.
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266. I am Peggy Hill, Mike's teacher.
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267. You're a teacher?
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268. Why are you dressed like that?
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269. What? ls there a dress code
for teachers now?
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270. Some chicks just hate it
when other chicks look hotter.
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271. Story of my life.
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272. Can I help you?
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273. Allow me to introduce myself.
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274. Alabaster Jones.
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275. The main mack daddy of Oklahoma City.
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276. Miss Tammi Duvall works for me.
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277. I am her manager.
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278. Well, she works for me now.
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279. I am her manager.
Technically, assistant manager.
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280. It ain't like that, G. I am her pimp.
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281. Pimp?
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282. You must have her confused
with somebody else.
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283. The Tammi Duvall I know,
works at Strickland Propane.
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284. Man, don't be giving me no nut roll.
I ain't no chili pimp.
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285. I got the wire on that propane scam
you working.
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286. You've been tricking Tammi out
all over town.
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287. Driving around in your Caddy,
shaking J's down for bills.
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288. Pretty sweet little operation you got
going on, for a small-town player.
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289. Son of a...
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290. I can't believe this. L... but she—
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291. Believe it, homie. She's my ho.
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292. And I better have my ho in my car...
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293. ready to go back to
my 'hood in one hour.
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294. Or you're gonna be my ho. You dig?
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295. Yeah. Bet it seemed like
the sweet life at first.
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296. Trick out a couple of ladies,
make some spare scratch.
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297. But you never see the dark side
until those silk sheets...
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298. form a noose around your neck.
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299. Shut up, Dale. I gotta find Tammi.
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300. Hey, bring me back the redhead!
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301. You! Alabaster came by my house.
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302. Oh, dang.
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303. Who is Alabaster?
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304. Tammi's pimp. She is a prostitute.
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305. Hank, that is a terrible thing to say.
Why would you even think that?
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306. Because Tammi is a hooker!
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307. Is this true?
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308. I'm totally sorry.
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309. You, get out your hooker stuff
of my house.
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310. Goodbye, Mrs. Hill!
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311. Bye, Mike. See you at school.
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312. Well, did you really even want to get
your GED? Or was that just another lie?
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313. No. I wanted to go straight so bad.
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314. But I was making
janky-ass pay at Strickland.
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315. And I was never gonna save enough
money to move out of your place...
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316. and I just, fell back into the life.
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317. But I'm almost finished with Conga.
I'm up to the part where they...
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318. shoot the super-monkeys
with the ray gun.
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319. You actually are reading it.
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320. Tammi, you compromised
the sanctity of my propane route.
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321. Now I have to look that pervert
Lane Pratley in the eye...
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322. and he thinks I'm a pimp.
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323. Dude, nobody thinks you're a pimp.
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324. But if you were a pimp...
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325. you'd be the coolest, nicest...
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326. most awesome pimp there ever was.
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327. What the...
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328. Alabaster!
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329. Hank, quick. Turn there.
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330. Oh, damn!
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331. I'm on your ass, man.
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332. All right, hang on. This
is gonna get hairy.
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333. What are you doing?
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334. Getting him just where I want him.
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335. What? He ran a red. You can't do that.
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336. All right, I'll lose him in the alley.
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337. That's it. Hank, pull over.
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338. - Let me out.
- Tammi, no.
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339. This isn't your problem. You dudes
have already done more for me...
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340. than anyone ever has.
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341. I'm gonna go back to
OKC with Alabaster.
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342. Hank, please don't let her.
Granted she's a prostitute...
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343. and she did use you as something
of a pimp. But we all make mistakes.
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344. You stay here.
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345. Hank, don't. Alabaster's a little guy,
but he'll mess you up.
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346. No offense, but he's from Oklahoma.
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347. Peggy, give me the hat.
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348. All right, man, get out of that jalopy
and let's talk some business.
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349. So, you ready to give me my ho back?
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350. She's not going anywhere, chump.
But I am a fair businessman.
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351. So here's all the money
she's given me so far.
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352. Man, this feels a little light.
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353. - You jacking me?
- I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County.
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354. I play it straight up, yo.
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355. You get the hell out of my 'hood!
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356. She's my ho now.
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357. All right, man, you can have her.
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358. I got a stable of hoes
waiting on me in the OKC.
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359. Yo, what you want
for that jasper brunette?
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360. That is my wife.
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361. Man, that's the biggest mistake
a pimp could make...
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362. marrying one of his hoes.
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363. Hank.
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364. What are you looking at?
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365. Please, Hank, don't turn me out.
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366. I'm no good. Ask anyone. Ask my wife.
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367. No, Dale. We're all going straight.
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368. From now on, the only woman
I'm pimping is sweet lady propane.
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369. And I'm tricking her out
all over this town.
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370. Alabaster!
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