1. Yep.
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2. Yup.
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3. What the...? Hey, man, don't...
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4. Don't sting me!
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5. Dale, what the heck
are you doing with bees?
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6. Some guy hired me to
clear them out of his attic.
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7. I was gonna kill
'em, but how could I?
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8. Just look at 'em.
Aren't they adorable?
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9. I guess they are kind of cute.
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10. And they're entrepreneurs.
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11. These babies make honey.
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12. And honey is money, my friend.
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13. What do you know
about beekeeping?
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14. I know how to keep them
from crawling up my nose.
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15. The Clones are
coming, Master Joseph.
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16. We must reach Jedi Council.
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17. Oh, no, the landing
bay door is closing!
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18. I'll, uh, use the Force
to roll under the door.
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19. Easy now, fellas.
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20. Nothing.
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21. Dang it, Bobby.
You bent the track.
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22. You fix bent stuff all
the time, though, right?
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23. I can't fix this, I have
to get a new one.
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24. Which means I'll have
to file an insurance claim.
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25. Really?
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26. So any time you break something,
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27. insurance gets you a new one?
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28. Hey, if you back
the car into my bike,
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29. we can get a new
car and a new bike.
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30. No, Bobby, it
doesn't work that way.
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31. Insurance is a safety net
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32. woven from the trust
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33. between the policy
holder and the guarantor.
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34. Insurance only covers accidents.
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35. Accident.
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36. Got ya.
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37. On our way to the
outlets tomorrow,
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38. I was thinking, Luanne
and I could stop for lunch
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39. at the Shoney's off Exit-25.
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40. What, you don't like that one?
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41. No, it's a good Shoney's.
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42. I'm just so
frustrated with Bobby.
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43. He thinks insurance
is some magic fairy
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44. who just waves her wand
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45. and makes teenage
jack-assery disappear.
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46. Her wand?
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47. Huh, I always think
of insurance as a boy.
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48. Welcome to the
Gribble Honey Bucket.
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49. You are about to witness
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50. how Mother
Nature turns a profit.
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51. Gentlemen, don your helmets.
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52. I'm on my way.
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53. I've struck gold.
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54. Yummy, sticky gold.
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55. Okay, Dad, the ladies
are finally out of our hair.
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56. What's first, a matinee
or putt-putt golf?
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57. I thought we'd have a
talk about responsibility.
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58. Oh.
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59. Now, since you
were horsing around
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60. and broke the garage door,
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61. you're going to have
to take care of it.
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62. Wait, you said insurance
was taking care of it.
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63. The claim settlement won't
just come down the chimney
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64. like Santa Claus.
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65. Someone has to make
the calls and file the papers.
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66. That's me, right?
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67. I want you to know
our policy inside and out
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68. before you call Mitch Watson
down at the insurance agency.
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69. Don't waste his time,
he'll hang up on you.
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70. How much are you gonna
charge for your honey, Dale?
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71. These people pay
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72. five dollars for a carton
of filthy mushrooms,
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73. so what do you
think, $100? $150?
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74. So where do you want me?
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75. Gone.
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76. The ladies with their trendy
scarves and fancy coffees
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77. won't come near this place
with you hanging around.
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78. You're absolutely right.
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79. Come and get your
freshly secreted honey!
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80. Don't be put off by
Irwin Allen's The Swarm
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81. or the tedious Peter
Fonda film Ulee's Gold.
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82. Look, Alison, bees.
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83. I heard Jenna Elfman on
Access Hollywood talking about
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84. how you can cure anything
with the venom from bee stings.
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85. Bee stings?
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86. Yeah, bee stings?
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87. My nutritionist says
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88. it stimulates your body's
natural healing response.
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89. A friend of mine
used it during childbirth
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90. instead of an epidural.
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91. How many stings
do I get for $150?
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92. Uh, mm, um, well, the
going rate is, uh... 12?
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93. That's a really good deal.
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94. Mm-hmm, it really is.
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95. Oh, okay.
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96. Okay, so, do you want
to get up on the table?
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97. Or would you rather
have me shake it up
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98. and dump some out on you?
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99. I'm still hungry.
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100. You wanna do another lap?
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101. Interest you fellas
in a fried banana?
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102. You can fry a banana?
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103. But it's fruit.
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104. Here, just try one.
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105. Oh, this banana's delicious.
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106. The monkeys must never find out.
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107. Okay, last question.
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108. Our policy is an HO-A Plus.
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109. What does it cover?
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110. All major perils
except sinkhole,
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111. nuclear accident and war.
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112. I think you're ready for Mitch.
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113. I'll listen in.
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114. If Mitch asks, tell him
this call is being monitored
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115. for quality assurance.
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116. Hello, this is
Plainsman Insurance.
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117. This call may be monitored
for quality assurance.
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118. Good afternoon.
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119. My name is Robert Hill,
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120. policy number G-75-658.
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121. May I please speak to Mitch?
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122. Mitch is not here.
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123. Okay, then. Thanks.
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124. Uh, this is Hank
Hill, policy holder.
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125. When will Mitch be back?
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126. Uh, he is in the 'loo.
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127. Bathroom. Bathroom.
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128. And according to our records,
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129. your policy has been
canceled for non-payment.
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130. Canceled?
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131. Listen here, I have
never missed a payment.
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132. I'm coming down there right
now so I can straighten this out.
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133. Tell Mitch I'm on my way.
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134. Plainsman's customer
service operations
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135. have been moved
to a central call center
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136. so we may serve
you more efficiently.
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137. I'll be happy to help you.
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138. Just give me your new address.
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139. And remember, we're
all being monitored here.
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140. Actually, Mr. Hill, uh, we
are in Bangalore, India.
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141. India? No wonder you
guys lost my payment.
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142. I demand to speak
to your supervisor.
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143. Please hold.
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144. Bobby, grab my checkbook.
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145. I'm gonna kick this
guy's ass over the phone.
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146. Hello, am I speaking
to the gentleman
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147. with the delinquent account?
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148. No, listen, there's
been a mistake.
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149. I sent you my
payment on... on, uh...
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150. Bwah!
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151. I'm sorry, could
you repeat that?
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152. Dad, if we go to India
to straighten this out,
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153. can I ride an elephant?
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154. Just, just give me a second.
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155. Bobby, sit down.
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156. All right, here's
where we're at.
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157. I made a big...
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158. big mistake.
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159. We've got no insurance.
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160. Okay.
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161. Bobby, don't you realize
how important this is?
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162. All our policies have lapsed.
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163. Our house, everything
in it, our vehicles...
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164. Nothing is protected.
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165. The safety net's gone... gone.
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166. I hear the words you're saying.
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167. And I believe you
believe it's important...
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168. Dang it, don't you get it?
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169. We've...
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170. Okay, okay...
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171. Nothing good happens
when a homeowner panics.
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172. Now, we need a plan.
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173. I'll overnight a
check to Plainsman.
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174. That way, we'll be covered
again as of Monday morning.
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175. But we've still got to make
it through the next 36 hours.
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176. Hey, we could go to Six
Flags and get a two-day pass.
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177. Ooh, I think they
call it a Twicket.
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178. No. We have to stay home
and keep an eye on the house.
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179. Here's what we're going to do:
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180. I'll inspect and secure
the house's vital systems
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181. starting with the plumbing,
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182. while you test all
the smoke alarms.
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183. All right. Just let
me make some toast.
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184. No toast. Not until I check
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185. the circuitry.
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186. Now, I'd better call your mother
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187. and tell her to stay put.
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188. While I'm gone,
don't cook anything,
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189. flush anything or
turn anything on.
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190. Not insured?
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191. That's terrible.
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192. No, you're right,
we can't risk it.
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193. Okay, we won't drive.
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194. Are you serious?
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195. I promise we won't drive.
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196. Well, Luanne, it turns
out we are uninsured,
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197. so your Uncle Hank
wants us to stay here
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198. until everything's
straightened out.
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199. But I don't want to stay here.
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200. Oh, what if we just drive home
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201. really, really,
really, really fast?
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202. That way we won't
be on the road as long.
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203. No, Luanne. If
something happened,
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204. we couldn't afford another car.
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205. So we'll just stay here
and make the best of it.
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206. We just have to be creative.
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207. From now on,
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208. let's talk like this!
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209. It's true.
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210. Bee venom is the
penicillin of the 21st century.
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211. It cures everything
from toothaches to ADD.
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212. Isn't that right, young Joseph?
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213. Uh, my head hurt,
but now it doesn't.
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214. Step right up and
tell me what ails you.
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215. My neck's kind of stiff.
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216. Eight bee stings.
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217. You?
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218. I feel fine.
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219. Six bee stings.
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220. You?
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221. Plantar's wart.
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222. Ew! 13 bee stings.
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223. How come Mom's not
allowed to come home?
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224. Weren't you listening, Bobby?
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225. This is serious.
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226. We've all got to do our part
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227. to get through this weekend.
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228. Have you checked the
smoke alarm in the hallway?
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229. No, but it's just a hallway.
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230. There's nothing
there to catch on fire.
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231. A hallway is the
expressway flames use
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232. to spread to the
rest of the house.
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233. Maybe that's just something
the guy at Mega-Lo-Mart
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234. told you so you'd buy
more smoke detectors?
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235. Dang it, Bobby, this isn't
about some sales pitch.
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236. Fire can burn down
a house like that,
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237. and our equity's gone.
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238. 15 years of house
payments for nothing,
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239. because without insurance
we couldn't afford to rebuild.
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240. Oh?
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241. We'd have to set up
a tent on the ashes
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242. of what used to be this house.
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243. A tent?
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244. Where would I put all
my clothes in a tent?
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245. Oh, your clothes
would be gone, Bobby.
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246. You'd have to wear the clothes
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247. that Reverend Stroup collects
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248. for poor people at the church.
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249. Toughskins?
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250. Yep. And it's not just fire,
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251. it's tornadoes, lightning,
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252. golf ball-sized hail
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253. that can destroy
everything we've got.
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254. Now, why don't you go
and check the strapping
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255. on the water heater.
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256. Texas hasn't had a major
earthquake in 165 years.
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257. We're due.
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258. It's so much better
frying at home.
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259. I can eat fried bananas
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260. while looking at Hank's house.
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261. Really?
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262. Fry a candy bar?
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263. That's crazy. Okay!
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264. Take it out! Take it out!
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265. Ooh!
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266. Hot. Hot.
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267. So good. Burning!
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268. Oh! Chocolate... choc...
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269. Mmm...
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270. If we can fry a candy
bar, we can fry anything!
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271. Isn't it a beautiful
night, Aunt Peggy?
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272. Luanne, just stop it!
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273. Well, I'm getting hungry,
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274. and unless you want
to go hunt a squirrel,
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275. I guess we are eating
at the vending machine.
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276. I only have 20s.
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277. Do you have anything smaller?
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278. I only have n-nothing.
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279. Yeah, I got this box of bees for
Dale Gribble, but no one's home.
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280. Mind if I leave it with you?
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281. Dad? Situation
at the front door.
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282. Coming!
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283. Can I help you?
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284. Yeah, your neighbor, he bought
these ten pounds of bees from me.
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285. I was gonna leave it over
there, but ain't no one home,
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286. so I was hoping I
could leave it over here.
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287. Mind I leave it here?
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288. Y-You're gonna have to go.
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289. This, too.
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290. Okay, good job
calling me, Bobby,
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291. but the next time, don't
even open the door.
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292. It's our last line of defense.
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293. I know the mat says
"Welcome," but...
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294. Actually, I better pick that up.
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295. If everybody fried their
food, there would be no war.
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296. Mm-hmm.
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297. What shall we try
next, Boomhauer?
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298. Tell you what,
man, talkin' 'bout
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299. dang ol' fried
fried chicken, man.
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300. Fried chicken refried?
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301. Damn.
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302. So hot and good.
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303. I wonder if more heat
would make it more good?
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304. Tell you what, man, talkin' 'bout,
dang 'ol mo' hotter, mo' better, man.
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305. Whatcha doing? Frying.
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306. My favorite arm!
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307. It looks pretty bad, Dale.
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308. Do you need to go to the doctor?
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309. One doctor? I'm gonna go
to about 2,000 buzzing ones.
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310. Stop it, stomach!
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311. You're scaring me!
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312. Aunt Peggy, did you find change?
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313. No. But it's been 18
hours, and we need to eat.
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314. Now, pick up the
back end of this branch.
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315. We're going in.
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316. Three, two, one.
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317. Soup's on...!
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318. We buried the needle, Boomhauer!
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319. We're frying where no
man has fried before!
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320. A cold beer is going
to taste so good
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321. with this scalding hot fish.
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322. Oops!
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323. Oh!
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324. Ooh... Ooh...
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325. I want insurance!
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326. How's your shoulder?
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327. I could use a Coke.
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328. Root beer?
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329. One more sting and my
treatment will be complete.
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330. And...
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331. cured.
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332. Okay, Joseph, take
that stick and poke me
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333. in my once-again robust arm.
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334. See, I don't feel a thing.
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335. Wait a minute.
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336. I don't feel a thing!
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337. Your venom did nothing!
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338. You betrayed me!
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339. Well, you may have
destroyed my arm,
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340. but my legs are still
feeble yet functional!
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341. Oh.
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342. Bobby, open the door!
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343. The bees are coming!
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344. Dad! Situation!
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345. Bobby, quick! Help me!
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346. Sorry, Mr. Gribble!
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347. You're a potential
property hazard!
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348. Come back Monday!
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349. Open up!
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350. Bobby, why the heck's
the radio so loud?
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351. Mr. Gribble ran over,
screaming for help!
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352. For the love of God,
Bobby, have mercy!
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353. Oh, God!
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354. Bobby, why didn't you help him?
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355. Why didn't you call 911?
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356. I was securing the perimeter!
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357. Yeah, I'd like to report
a man being chased
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358. by a swarm of bees.
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359. I see.
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360. The emergency
vehicles are all tied up.
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361. Good. The last thing we need
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362. are fire trucks and
ambulances racing over here.
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363. They'd probably take
that corner too fast
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364. and bam, right
in the living room.
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365. Come on. Dale's in trouble.
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366. We need to go out there.
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367. Out there? With the bees
and the hail and the A-bombs?
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368. Bobby, I think you're
getting a little carried away.
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369. And I guess I pushed you there.
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370. I didn't mean to scare you, son.
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371. Sure, I wish we had insurance.
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372. Because there is a chance
something bad could happen
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373. to the house if we leave it.
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374. But something bad is
definitely gonna happen
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375. to Dale if we don' t.
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376. If we go outside,
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377. are you sure
everything will be okay?
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378. There's nothing out
there we can't handle.
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379. I promise.
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380. Okay, Dad.
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381. Good Lord.
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382. Where are you going, Bobby?
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383. This is not a big deal.
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384. It's just a little fire.
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385. And more bees than I remembered.
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386. Hey, Dale! Run to your van!
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387. There, no problem.
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388. Now, Dale's arm
looked pretty bad,
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389. so we should make
sure he's okay.
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390. Fire!
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391. Good eye, Bobby.
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392. We can easily put that
out with some potting soil.
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393. Heh, did you ever think
you'd see a fire in the alley?
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394. Kind of funny when
you think about it, isn't it?
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395. Yeah, funny.
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396. Dang ol', man!
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397. Mr. Dauterive's on fire!
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398. That'll happen.
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399. Roll, Bill, roll!
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400. Just flaming potatoes, Bobby.
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401. Why don't we put those out?
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402. Joseph, I'm having
some sort of reaction.
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403. But I'm only allergic
to shellfish and...
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404. bees.
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405. Joseph, I...
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406. Huh. You never
were here, were you?
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407. This could be bad.
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408. Mouth is so dry.
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409. Hank, I don't feel so good.
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410. That's why we're gonna
take you to the hospital.
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411. Come on. Let's go.
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412. Boomhauer, Bill's
flared up again!
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413. Kick some dirt on him!
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414. Dang 'ol, man, I
dang 'ol got it, man.
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415. Stupid bees.
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416. Look at that big purple
one trying to get in.
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417. Okay, let's get
you to the hospital.
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418. That wasn't so bad.
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419. But I'll feel a lot better
when our coverage kicks in.
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420. Yep, you're going to make a
great homeowner someday.
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421. Hey, how'd you
like to help adjust
Copy !req
422. the deductible on
our umbrella policy?
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423. Would I!
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424. We'll call India in the morning.
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425. The Hills are away
from the phone.
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426. Please leave a message
and we'll get back to you.
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427. Hank, it's me.
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428. Please tell us we have insurance
so Luanne and I can come home.
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429. I am so sick of
eating junk food.
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430. Oh, oh good, the
police are here.
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431. Uh-oh. Oh, no. No!
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432. No, officer,
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433. the vending machine was
on its side when we found it!
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434. The monkeys must never find out.
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