1. Buon giorno,
what can I get you?
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2. Well, what do you recommend to
a couple of real big spenders?
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3. My boyfriend likes
the surf n' turf.
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4. Medium cheese pizza,
two waters. Tap.
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5. Thanks for
inviting me out, sir.
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6. Yeah, yeah, well, this
ain't a social call, son.
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7. You know the Strickland
Propane Family Fun Day?
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8. The Strickland Propane
Family Fun Day?
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9. We haven't done that
in five years.
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10. Well, glad you liked it
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11. 'cause this party is
what I'm giving everyone
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12. instead of health insurance
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13. so we can't mess it up.
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14. That's why I'm putting
you in charge.
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15. I will treat this picnic
with all the gravity
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16. and seriousness it requires.
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17. Good evening and buon giorno.
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18. The live entertainment portion
of our evening
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19. is about to begin,
so would you please
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20. give a warm welcome
to John Redcorn
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21. and Big Mountain Fudgecake.
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22. John Redcorn?
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23. Maria's Pasta and Pizza,
are you ready to rock?
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24. Let's get the hell
out of here!
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25. So, sir?
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26. What specifically
did you have in mind
for this picnic?
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27. Uh-uh! I delegated.
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28. You're the lead monkey on
the back of this ostrich.
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29. So go make me a picnic!
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30. Hank.
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31. Oh, uh, hey, John Redcorn.
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32. You finished already?
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33. We are finished forever.
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34. Got fired from
playing for free.
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35. It don't get any
lower than that.
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36. That dang manager never got
what Fudgecake is all about.
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37. No one ever does.
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38. We're either
ahead of our times
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39. or possibly way behind,
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40. stuck in some
more classical time.
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41. But either way,
us and our times
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42. aren't seeing eye to eye.
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43. Yeah, well, uh, I'm sure you
and your times will work it out.
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44. I couldn't help overhearing
you have a big event coming up.
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45. Yeah...
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46. And we sure could use
a break, Hank.
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47. We'll, uh...
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48. Don't you like to rock?
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49. Wow, you're sure giving me
a lot to think about here,
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50. uh, but I got the family
waiting at home.
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51. I'll get to work on him.
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52. Dang it!
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53. That is the third piece
of toast you've broken.
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54. And you're always
so careful with your toast.
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55. What's wrong?
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56. Strickland Family Fun Day.
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57. Do you think
if I got good enough meats
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58. it would count as entertainment?
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59. You got to have
live entertainment, Dad!
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60. Music, magic...
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61. Some people even do both.
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62. Entertainment is the only thing
that distracts people
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63. from realizing how much
they don't like each other.
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64. So what am I gonna be
listening to while I eat this?
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65. I don't know.
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66. Finding a band for under
a hundred dollars
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67. is harder than you think.
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68. Hey, Hank!
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69. The picnic's
going great, sir.
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70. Good, good, 'cause I just got
back from Strickland West
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71. and they've had a tough year
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72. in terms of general
disgruntlement.
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73. Really need this
picnic to be fun.
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74. You see what kind of pressure
I'm under?
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75. You're like one of them
astronauts, honey.
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76. Hank?
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77. Uh...
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78. hey, John Redcorn.
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79. Did you find a band
for your picnic?
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80. No, he didn't.
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81. And the poor bastard's
all twisted up over it.
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82. In the animal kingdom,
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83. many animals work
together in symbiosis.
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84. The oxpecker bird will eat the
ticks and parasites off a zebra.
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85. You and I can be
zebra and oxpecker, too.
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86. But why don't I let our
demo tape do the talking?
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87. Okay, I'm sorry,
John Redcorn.
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88. I'm not hiring you.
No way.
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89. I... I see...
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90. You know, you start doing
massage to pay the bills
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91. and you tell yourself,
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92. "Just a few more years
of this, Johnny."
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93. And one day you look
up and you're 40.
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94. You're 40, Hank!
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95. Okay, there, John Redcorn,
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96. you, uh, you make
some good points.
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97. Look, maybe you should stop
waiting for other people
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98. to make things
happen for you.
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99. What does that mean?
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100. Uh, well... maybe
what you need to do
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101. is to, uh,
bet on yourself.
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102. A lot of really
successful people
did that.
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103. Bet on myself?
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104. Sure— it's your dream,
you make it happen.
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105. Bet on yourself.
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106. Wow, Hank.
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107. You are very wise.
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108. Thank you.
Thank you.
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109. Dang it, Joe Jack,
that helium is for the picnic.
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110. Sorry, honey.
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111. The guy asked me
if I wanted honey mustard
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112. and I almost took
a swing at him.
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113. Long story short, I got
a good deal on classic yellow.
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114. The pony guy said what?
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115. What the hell is pony season?
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116. What in the...?
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117. Joe Jack, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
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118. Hey, John Redcorn,
what's going on?
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119. Doing a little
improvement
on your land?
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120. I'm doing an improvement
on my life.
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121. On all of our lives.
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122. You said it.
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123. Isn't it exciting?
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124. I'm following
your advice, Hank.
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125. No more relying
on other people
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126. to wake up and "get" us.
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127. Now, I'm gonna have
a permanent place
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128. to play with my band.
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129. I'm betting on myself
and opening a casino.
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130. But that's crazy.
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131. No, it's brilliant.
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132. Now we have a permanent
venue for Fudgecake to play.
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133. Like Wayne Newton
and the Stardust.
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134. You're a genius,
Uncle Hank.
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135. Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
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136. Oh, God.
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137. So John Redcorn is
opening a casino.
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138. I always wanted to see
a white tiger before I died.
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139. I feel like
it's my fault.
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140. I'm the one who told him
to bet on himself.
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141. If I wasn't so dang busy
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142. finding entertainment
for this picnic,
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143. maybe I could've done
something to stop him.
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144. Relax, Hank.
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145. You know what loosens
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146. the caboose of any party?
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147. Big Mountain Fudgecake!
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148. Want me to see if
they're available?
No.
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149. They've got a super boffo
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
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150. meets Deep Purple
versus ELO kind of sound.
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151. What are you, their manager?
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152. Yes!
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153. Can you believe
the slot was open?
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154. I guess you
were wrong, Hank.
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155. Dreams do come true.
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156. Evening, gentlemen.
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157. Where can I find John Redcorn?
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158. Oh, he's the visionary
right over there,
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159. the one dripping
with sex appeal and
turquoise jewelry.
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160. Hello, brother Indian.
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161. I am Henry Mankiller with
the Tribal Gaming Corporation.
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162. You got my e-mail!
Cool Web site.
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163. Yes, and I hope you are
enjoying your subscription
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164. to Gaming Nation.
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165. Exactly what kind
of Indian are you?
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166. I am 1/64th Creek
on my mother's side.
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167. So about your casino.
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168. Actually, it's just temporary.
To get our band going.
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169. Let's show him.
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170. ( dogs howling in distance
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171. This is where
the drum solo usually goes.
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172. With a sound like that,
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173. you're not going to need
gaming for long.
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174. I completely get that.
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175. But we can accelerate
the process.
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176. We are, after all, in
the dream building business.
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177. We got a dream
that needs building.
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178. You see... we are one-stop
shopping for everything casino.
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179. We can save you
the hassles of dealing
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180. with the white man's loan
officers by financing everything
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181. through our tribal
development division.
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182. That means your band
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183. is making gold records
that much faster.
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184. This pen has been used
by many of our people
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185. to apply for financing.
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186. Do I look like I know
what a JPEG is?
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187. I just want a picture
of a got-dang hot dog!
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188. Dad, the news is not good.
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189. Swing band... no.
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190. '50s tribute band... no.
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191. Even the polka band... no.
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192. Well, there was this one guy.
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193. I think he felt sorry
for us.
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194. His name is Bloomers.
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195. He does "imagitainment."
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196. Well, I have a band.
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197. Call Bloomers.
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198. You're almost there.
A little more.
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199. That's it.
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200. Let's open with "I Need Money."
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201. We can transition
to "Gotta Get Money"
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202. and do a whole money medley.
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203. I love that song!
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204. We are going to do
some serious rocking.
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205. And then people are
going to hear us and love us
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206. and we're gonna be huge.
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207. This is so exciting!
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208. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I bought
a whole bunch
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209. of make-ups for
y'all to wear.
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210. Uh, Luanne?
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211. Can I speak
to you, outside?
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212. Listen, Yoko.
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213. I'm the manager
of this act
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214. and I'm sick of you trying
to split them apart.
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215. What's a Yoko?
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216. Okay, Missy, that's it.
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217. If you ever come within
100 feet of Fudgecake again,
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218. I will spend the rest
of my life
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219. making you miserable.
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220. I'm gonna... my
purse is inside...
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221. Get!
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222. Is this fun?
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223. I suggest you book
Fudgecake now,
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224. because after
the casino opens,
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225. they might be
too big for you.
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226. They're gonna be helping
kings and dignitaries
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227. get their groove on.
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228. They're not right for us, Dale.
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229. There are going to be
little kids at this picnic.
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230. And we already hired someone.
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231. Bloomers.
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232. Fine, but can I at
least count on you all
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233. to be there tonight
for the Fudgecake
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234. when they open the casino?
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235. Well, I do have to be there
to keep an eye on Buck.
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236. He wants to "parlay"
the picnic money
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237. on the gaming tables.
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238. Don't be surprised if Buck
forgets all about that
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239. because the power of rockin'
does things to a man.
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240. It's true.
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241. I made a lot of my life
decisions at a Foghat concert.
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242. I stand by them.
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243. This night is
full of magic.
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244. Which one of these tables
looks lucky to you, ol' top?
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245. Well, I'm not sure,
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246. but why don't I hold on
to the picnic funds
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247. so you have more room
for your winnings?
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248. Ooh, what about that one?
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249. What about...?
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250. Hold on, I gotta rub
that waiter's head for luck.
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251. Hank, thank you.
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252. None of this would
have been possible
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253. without your advice.
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254. Yeah, that's okay.
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255. I don't really want to take
credit for any of this,
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256. but, uh...
you're welcome, I guess.
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257. Hugged by an Indian!
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258. We're winning big tonight!
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259. Everybody, put your hands
together
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260. for Big... Mountain...
Fudgecake!
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261. Thank you, Arlen!
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262. And now, here's a
song about a band...
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263. A band that no one gave much
of a chance to,
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264. until one day that band
showed everyone
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265. that they could rock!
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266. A one
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267. and a two and a...
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268. Freeze. Police.
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269. All right, folks,
it's over.
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270. Okay, everyone, let's have
a nice orderly egress.
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271. Is this some kind of joke?
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272. We're shutting you down, sir.
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273. This is an illegal
gaming establishment.
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274. But we're on Indian land.
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275. Look at me.
Look at all the headdresses.
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276. Yes, sir, and that
land is in Texas
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277. where there is
no Indian gaming.
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278. No Indian gaming?
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279. Didn't you wonder why
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280. there weren't any other
Indian casinos in Texas?
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281. I thought it would work
to our advantage.
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282. They're wheeling away
our shot at glory,
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283. just like they're wheeling
away them shiny machines.
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284. Fudgecake's in
a bad, bad way.
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285. But this is my land.
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286. My one chance
to be heard.
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287. I've already spent
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288. all the money
I borrowed.
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289. How can this be
happening?
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290. Texas tribes traded their
federal gaming rights
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291. for state recognition
of their tribes.
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292. Now, you can let the
folks play for trinkets
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293. and combs and whatnot,
but not for money.
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294. But that's incredibly lame.
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295. Well, yes... but legal.
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296. Hot damn.
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297. That's blackjack!
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298. Congratulations, sir.
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299. Very lucky.
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300. Blackjack pays...
a stuffed lion.
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301. How am I gonna
stick this in a G-string?
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302. Where's everyone going?
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303. They're gonna
miss our show!
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304. This is a sad, sad day.
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305. The white man
never stops putting you down.
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306. "The white man"?
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307. How could you not know
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308. there was no
gaming in Texas?
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309. Look, the dream business is
not extremely detail-oriented.
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310. Anyway,
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311. just stopped by to give
you a friendly reminder.
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312. You still owe us $23,000.
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313. I could sue you.
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314. Possibly, but
you'd spend years
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315. in the white man's courts
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316. fighting
the white man's lawyers—
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317. which we have a lot of.
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318. Instead, I have a solution
that's good for all of us.
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319. Permit to allow
toxic dumping?
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320. Unless you have another way
to come up with the money.
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321. Oh, and, uh, keep in mind
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322. your topsoil
will become very flammable.
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323. Not only have I
failed as a musician,
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324. I'm going to have
to destroy my own land.
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325. My people's land.
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326. Come on, guys.
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327. Did we give up
when I left the "E"
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328. off of all
of our merchandise? No.
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329. And we wore
those "Fudgecak" T-shirts
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330. with pride.
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331. Now, you guys keep
focusing on being stars,
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332. and I'll focus
on a way to fix this.
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333. You look like I feel
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334. whenever I run
over one of my dogs.
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335. Everybody seems pretty happy.
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336. Bloomers has good buzz.
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337. Yep. We sure
pulled it off.
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338. No, Hank— we all did.
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339. Oh. I mean— we did!
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340. Psst. Bloomers.
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341. Get in the car!
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342. Why? I just got here.
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343. Hey, I'm driving you to
the green room, ese.
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344. I got all kinds of
cheeses back there.
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345. Gribble?
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346. Got him.
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347. Good. Make him disappear.
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348. You want me to kill him?
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349. What? No!
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350. Although...
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351. No, just drive him around,
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352. but I'm happy
you're being pro-active.
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353. There are no bad ideas.
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354. I wanna go! I'm bored.
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355. You said this
would be fun!
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356. I thought there was
gonna be Bloomers.
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357. Make Bloomers
be here.
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358. Where the heck
is Bloomers?
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359. Dad, things
are not good.
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360. I've been circulating
among the kids
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361. as "Roberto Hillenbrand,"
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362. and they're bored.
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363. If Bloomers doesn't show up,
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364. there's talk
of a possible egging.
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365. Hank, what the
heck is going on?
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366. I just got a backful
of raw hamburger.
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367. I don't know
what happened, sir.
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368. Now they're tipping
over port-a-johns.
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369. If you got a plan "B,"
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370. you better put it
into action pronto.
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371. Mr. Strickland
makes a good point.
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372. All hell does appear
to be breaking loose.
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373. At least if you
book Fudgecake,
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374. you tried something.
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375. Ooh, let's tip this one over.
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376. Occupied, honey.
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377. Dale, get me Fudgecake.
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378. We got a gig.
We got a gig!
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379. Aw, wow.
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380. The Strickland
Family Days Picnic.
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381. Family Days?
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382. That ain't
rock and roll.
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383. What does it matter?
An audience is an audience.
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384. Fudgecake don't
play family picnics.
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385. It'd send the
wrong message.
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386. I ain't going.
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387. And I double
ain't going.
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388. Are you crazy?
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389. This is a paying gig...
with hundreds of people!
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390. Yeah, well, the 'cake
don't sell out.
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391. Hank.
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392. What in the heck
is going on?
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393. Where's the rest
of the band?
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394. I thought I owed it to you
to tell you in person—
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395. we broke up.
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396. Fudgecake is dead.
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397. Well, I guess I'll go
break it to the crowd
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398. that we don't have
any entertainment.
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399. They'll probably yell
and throw stuff at me.
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400. Then Buck will yell
and throw stuff at me
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401. and fire me.
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402. Well, maybe that'll be
entertaining for folks.
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403. Hold on a second, Hank.
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404. John Redcorn, you're the heart
and soul of the 'cake, man!
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405. You can play this gig yourself!
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406. Alone? Me?
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407. Besides, kids aren't going
to want to listen to me.
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408. The BMF sound is universal.
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409. You can adapt.
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410. Hmm... I guess there is
that song about killing myself.
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411. I could rewrite it
so it's about personal hygiene.
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412. Love it. Now, go!
Copy !req
413. Hello, and welcome to
the Strickland Family Fun Day.
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414. I am John Redcorn.
Copy !req
415. Here's a song I wrote
after government agents
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416. shut down my gambling
establishment
Copy !req
417. and I wanted to die.
Copy !req
418. So, you and your son
having a good time?
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419. Yeah, when I first
found Redcorn,
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420. he was in some
go-nowhere,
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421. Whitesnake-meets-
White-Lion-meets-Great-
White rip-off group,
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422. but I recreated
him as the Native
American Raffi.
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423. I'll tell you, Elvin,
this is rock and roll.
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424. Hell, yeah!
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425. Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
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