1. Ripped By mstollCopy !req
2. y ahora, regressamos al
Monsignor Martinez.Copy !req
3. El Acto Tres: Rescate.Copy !req
4. Yhora,
ustedes se pueden besar.Copy !req
5. Vaya con Dios.Copy !req
6. Even in a wedding dressCopy !req
7. Monsignor Martinez
looks hot.Copy !req
8. Hmm, that is
one sexy priest.Copy !req
9. Este sabado, Eduardo FelipeCopy !req
10. su mismo va a aparecer persona
en Arlen, Texas.Copy !req
11. Oh, my God.Copy !req
12. The actor who plays
Monsignor Martinez...Copy !req
13. Eduardo Filipe... is
coming to Arlen.Copy !req
14. We have to go, sugs.Copy !req
15. I bet he's even
swarthier in person.Copy !req
16. I have been using videotapes
of the showCopy !req
17. as a teaching tool
in my Spanish class.Copy !req
18. I bet I could get the actor
to show upCopy !req
19. and be a guest speaker.Copy !req
20. I would to see the full-time
teacher Mrs. Pratt,Copy !req
21. try to follow me after that.Copy !req
22. I am very excited to be
in...Copy !req
23. Ar... len, to promote
the new episodesCopy !req
24. of my show.Copy !req
25. This will be our 11th season.Copy !req
26. I can't believe
it's really him.Copy !req
27. Hey, could you say,
"Vay con Dios'for me?Copy !req
28. Next.Copy !req
29. Hola, my name
is Peggy Hill,Copy !req
30. and I am the
three-time winnerCopy !req
31. of the substitute
teacher awardCopy !req
32. at Tom Landry Middle School.Copy !req
33. Well, maybe I should be asking
for your autograph.Copy !req
34. Oh, no.Copy !req
35. Señor Filipe, my students and I
love your show.Copy !req
36. And I was wondering if you could
come to my Spanish classCopy !req
37. as a special guest.Copy !req
38. I'm sorry, Señora,
but I have a ruleCopy !req
39. about special appearances...Copy !req
40. I do them only for my charity
work with the sick children,Copy !req
41. or for paid vacations
on the cruise ships.Copy !req
42. Dad, I accidentally
used your toothbrush again.Copy !req
43. Throw it out.Copy !req
44. I got freakin'
Monsignor MartinezCopy !req
45. and he is coming
to my classroom tomorrow.Copy !req
46. Really? Wow.Copy !req
47. Mom, can I come meet him?Copy !req
48. You bet you can.Copy !req
49. But you have to pretend
to be a sick child.Copy !req
50. Hmm.Copy !req
51. What? The man only does guest
appearances for sick children.Copy !req
52. So what?Copy !req
53. Peggy, the boy ain't right,
but he's not sick.Copy !req
54. Can I be in a bubble?Copy !req
55. Who is excited about
watching this week'sCopy !req
56. episode of Monsignor Martinez?Copy !req
57. Pare se, Señora.Copy !req
58. If you put that tape in,
it will explode.Copy !req
59. The real Monsignor Martinez!Copy !req
60. Señor, this is the sick boy
I was telling you about.Copy !req
61. He cannot
talk.Copy !req
62. Be brave, little soldier.Copy !req
63. From now onCopy !req
64. you will be in the prayers
of Monsignor Martinez.Copy !req
65. Señor, he should not be
out of his bubble for too long.Copy !req
66. If the moment
is truthfulCopy !req
67. then stabbing to death
El Jefe with an icicleCopy !req
68. will come almost
without conscious effort.Copy !req
69. Okay, kids, I'm afraidCopy !req
70. that is all the time we have
with our very special guest.Copy !req
71. Uh... uh... in Espanol.Copy !req
72. Aiii.Copy !req
73. That was the best...
You are the coolest...Copy !req
74. Oh, gracias, gracias,
Señor Filipe.Copy !req
75. The children
loved you.Copy !req
76. The pleasure
was all mine.Copy !req
77. Sometimes I forget we have
many young viewers.Copy !req
78. We should probably do more
episodesCopy !req
79. like the one about
the monkeyCopy !req
80. who smuggled the cocaine
under his little hat.Copy !req
81. Señora, I'm about
to have some lunch.Copy !req
82. Please, join me.Copy !req
83. I noticed you have
the same passion for teachingCopy !req
84. that I have
for acting.Copy !req
85. Gracias.Copy !req
86. Hey, say,
Vay con Dios, dude.Copy !req
87. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
88. Do not look over.Copy !req
89. It will only encourage them.Copy !req
90. Vay con Dios,Copy !req
91. you pant load.Copy !req
92. Señora Hill, I have
two childrenCopy !req
93. who are about to take
entrance examsCopy !req
94. to private high school
in America.Copy !req
95. A teacher like yourself
with your passion,Copy !req
96. could help them pass
such a test.Copy !req
97. Would you be interested
in coming to MexicoCopy !req
98. to tutor my children?Copy !req
99. Really?Copy !req
100. I can see I have surprised
you with my offer.Copy !req
101. I will give you... a day
to think about it.Copy !req
102. Talk it over
with the loved ones.Copy !req
103. Oh, señor, I have
something to confess.Copy !req
104. That boy in
my classroomCopy !req
105. was not sick
atall.Copy !req
106. Actually, that boy is my healthy
son Bobby.Copy !req
107. Señora Hill,
I am an actor.Copy !req
108. I could tell right away
that he was not sick.Copy !req
109. I do not meanCopy !req
110. to be unkind, but your son gave
a terrible performance.Copy !req
111. Yes, he was terrible,
wasn't he?Copy !req
112. Ah, yes.Copy !req
113. But not as terrible
as this fish! Waiter!Copy !req
114. Hank, are you going
to the propane conventionCopy !req
115. in Alberta?Copy !req
116. There's a propane convention
in Alberta?Copy !req
117. It's exciting, isn't it?Copy !req
118. Oh, by you'll be
so far away... in Canada.Copy !req
119. Yeah, but no distance
is too greatCopy !req
120. when it comes
to propane.Copy !req
121. Mm-hmm, and I would
have no problemCopy !req
122. with you going
to that convention,Copy !req
123. even if it's for
two weeks.Copy !req
124. I don't see why you would.Copy !req
125. Hank, there is no
propane convention
in Alberta.Copy !req
126. What?Copy !req
127. But I have been offeredCopy !req
128. a job in Mexico.Copy !req
129. The actor who plays
Monsignor MartinezCopy !req
130. wants me to go
to MexicoCopy !req
131. and be a private tutor
for his children.Copy !req
132. It will only be
for two weeks.Copy !req
133. No way, Peggy.Copy !req
134. You only know this guy
through the television.Copy !req
135. Hank, can't you seeCopy !req
136. what an incredible
opportunity this is for me?Copy !req
137. This is a real double whammy
for me, Peggy.Copy !req
138. You want to leave and there's
no propane convention.Copy !req
139. But if it means
that much to you,Copy !req
140. I guess you should give
this guy a callCopy !req
141. and tell him yes.Copy !req
142. Thank you, Hank.Copy !req
143. Luanne, I want you to look after
Bobby and Hank while I'm gone.Copy !req
144. I would have had you
practice with an egg first,Copy !req
145. but there's no time.Copy !req
146. You're trusting me?Copy !req
147. I will do such a good job
being you,Copy !req
148. that you will not even know
that you're gone.Copy !req
149. Well, I guess
I should get going.Copy !req
150. Wow, this is going to be
the first we'll be apartCopy !req
151. for more than
a couple of days.Copy !req
152. Yeah, uh, Peggy, remember
to take your glasses offCopy !req
153. before you take
a nap on the plane.Copy !req
154. I will, Hank.Copy !req
155. Peggy, not in the airport.Copy !req
156. I trust your
flight was good.Copy !req
157. You know I've never flown
first class before.Copy !req
158. My husband says
coach is just as good...Copy !req
159. you get there
at the same time.Copy !req
160. Yes, yes.Copy !req
161. People who have never
flown first class always say that.Copy !req
162. Ah, Señora Hill,Copy !req
163. These are my
children, your students.Copy !req
164. Antonio
and Christina.Copy !req
165. Hola, Señora Hill.Copy !req
166. Hola.Copy !req
167. Señora, you have
had a long flight.Copy !req
168. May I suggest you
start fresh manana.Copy !req
169. Oh, manana, yes,
of course.Copy !req
170. Let me show you around.Copy !req
171. Mi casa es tu casa.Copy !req
172. Señora Hill, acting
is not my only passion.Copy !req
173. I have another...Copy !req
174. making homemade wine.Copy !req
175. I too have another passion...
Boggle.Copy !req
176. It is good to have
many passions, yes?Copy !req
177. I have always said...Copy !req
178. Uh, these blackouts
happen all the time in Mexico.Copy !req
179. One of my children was
conceived in such a blackout.Copy !req
180. Would you like to taste
my homemade wine, Señora Hill?Copy !req
181. Well, you have the most
spectacular sunsets in Mexico.Copy !req
182. Yes, it is the pollution.Copy !req
183. My wife and I used to sit
out here every nightCopy !req
184. and watch the sun
sink behind the city.Copy !req
185. If it's not too personal
a question, where is your wife?Copy !req
186. She is, uh...
how you say,Copy !req
187. with our ancestors.Copy !req
188. Oh, I am so sorry.Copy !req
189. I miss her very much.Copy !req
190. The heart can get lonely.Copy !req
191. More wine?Copy !req
192. More wine?Copy !req
193. Well, who could say no to a
glass of homemade Mexican wine?Copy !req
194. This is actually
pretty good, Luanne.Copy !req
195. I got the recipe
from Redbook.Copy !req
196. Which is actually a magazine.Copy !req
197. Well, I'm done.Copy !req
198. See ya.Copy !req
199. See ya.Copy !req
200. Ooh, wait.Copy !req
201. I think you're supposed
to excuse yourselfCopy !req
202. from the table properly.Copy !req
203. Sit down, please.Copy !req
204. May I be excused
from the table?Copy !req
205. Yes, you may.Copy !req
206. He's a lovely boy.Copy !req
207. Who? Bobby?Copy !req
208. Uh-uh-uh.Copy !req
209. We do not answer the phone
during dinner hour.Copy !req
210. Yes, we do.Copy !req
211. Hello.Copy !req
212. Hi, Honey, it's me.Copy !req
213. How's the new job going?Copy !req
214. Oh, it's great.Copy !req
215. Señor Filipe took me
on a tour of his mansion.Copy !req
216. He showed me his private gym
and wine cellar,Copy !req
217. and I tasted some
of his homemade wine.Copy !req
218. That sounds unnecessary.Copy !req
219. Oh, he was just being courtly.Copy !req
220. He's Latin.Copy !req
221. That's what they do.Copy !req
222. They are courtly.Copy !req
223. Well, Hank, you know,
I should get some sleep.Copy !req
224. I start teaching tomorrow.
Love you.Copy !req
225. Uh... back at ya.Copy !req
226. My children have
promised meCopy !req
227. that they will listen
to your every wordCopy !req
228. as if you were their mother.Copy !req
229. For you, Señora Hill.Copy !req
230. Oh, a mango.Copy !req
231. One of the passion fruits.Copy !req
232. Gracias, señor.Copy !req
233. It's from the children.Copy !req
234. Oh, right, Uh-huh.Copy !req
235. The children.Copy !req
236. Gribble residence.Copy !req
237. Nancy, it's Peggy.Copy !req
238. Eduardo is flirting
with me big time.Copy !req
239. I think he is coming on to me.Copy !req
240. Are you sure?Copy !req
241. Uh-huh. He used the familiarCopy !req
242. tu casa instead of su casa.Copy !req
243. We drank wine on a balcony
and watched the sunset.Copy !req
244. Where's the wife?
Dead.Copy !req
245. Perfect.
Did you flirt back?Copy !req
246. I do not know.Copy !req
247. Did you blush and giggle?Copy !req
248. I may have blushed
and giggled once or twice.Copy !req
249. Congratulations, sug.
You were flirting.Copy !req
250. But I got to warn you:
Don't enjoy it too much,Copy !req
251. because there's this moment
where there is no turning back.Copy !req
252. All of a sudden you can't
remember your husband's name.Copy !req
253. Your body goes limp,Copy !req
254. and then you are pulled down
by the undertow of passion.Copy !req
255. You're drowning, sug,
but you don't care.Copy !req
256. I will never drownCopy !req
257. because I am wearing the
best life preserver there is...Copy !req
258. my marriage to Hank.Copy !req
259. Margarita.Copy !req
260. I want you, Margarita.Copy !req
261. I want you like I've wanted
no other woman.Copy !req
262. And I am afraid you
cannot have me, Eduardo,Copy !req
263. for I have given my
heart to another...
Hank Hill.Copy !req
264. Oh, I hate this Hank Hill
for stealing your heart.Copy !req
265. Please, I must have you now,
or I will throw myselfCopy !req
266. off this cliff.Copy !req
267. I must refuse
your advances for
the second time.Copy !req
268. Eduardo! No!Copy !req
269. Think of the children!Copy !req
270. What is the capital of Oregon?Copy !req
271. Señora Hill, what is
the capital of Oregon?Copy !req
272. Huh? Uh, Portland.Copy !req
273. No, no, Salem.Copy !req
274. Are you sure, Señora?Copy !req
275. Who's the American here?Copy !req
276. Hey, Luanne, did
you buy any beer?Copy !req
277. I know you wanted me
to get a case of beer,Copy !req
278. but it's not very healthy,Copy !req
279. so I got a case
of V-8juice instead.Copy !req
280. But it's my week to bring
the beer out to the alley.Copy !req
281. Uncle Hank, V-8juice
has eight vitamins.Copy !req
282. Beer has one: Barley.Copy !req
283. So Peggy phoned
Nancy last nightCopy !req
284. and apparently
this Eduardo fellaCopy !req
285. is real sweet on Peggy.Copy !req
286. What?Copy !req
287. Dale, I think Nancy
must have hadCopy !req
288. a bad connection
or somethingCopy !req
289. because I talked to PeggyCopy !req
290. and she said that Eduardo
was just being courtly.Copy !req
291. Mmm... no...Copy !req
292. Doesn't surprise me.Copy !req
293. Peggy's a very
beautiful woman.Copy !req
294. Shut up, Bill.Copy !req
295. Why? Don't you think Peggy
is beautiful, Hank?Copy !req
296. Of course I do.Copy !req
297. I just don't feel the need
to say it is all.Copy !req
298. And thatCopy !req
299. is why it is called Pittsburgh.Copy !req
300. Ah, Señora.Copy !req
301. Señora, I need your help, uh,Copy !req
302. in the running some lines.Copy !req
303. Okay... you are the Ambassador's
beautiful daughterCopy !req
304. who speaks no Spanish.Copy !req
305. We hide in the drug lord's
greenhouse.Copy !req
306. It is hot, very, very hot,Copy !req
307. and also very dangerous.Copy !req
308. You must stand close.Copy !req
309. Oh, well, it is
how people would standCopy !req
310. in a hot,
dangerous greenhouse.Copy !req
311. The one thing more
dangerous than my enemiesCopy !req
312. is your beauty.Copy !req
313. "Hold me tight.Copy !req
314. I so greatly fear
these enemies who threaten us."Copy !req
315. Hush, Rebecca. I believe
my enemies are coming.Copy !req
316. And I also believeCopy !req
317. that I am falling
in love with you.Copy !req
318. Oh, God,
that is good dialogue.Copy !req
319. I need an agua de frutas break.Copy !req
320. Uncle Hank, we need to have
a serious talk about Bobby.Copy !req
321. No we don't.Copy !req
322. Now, Bobby's at an ageCopy !req
323. where we should be
giving him hisCopy !req
324. Sex talk.Copy !req
325. Luanne, stop trying to be
yourAunt Peggy.Copy !req
326. You're no Peggy.Copy !req
327. You're fired.Copy !req
328. Well, I'm glad
you're firing me,Copy !req
329. 'cause being Aunt PeggyCopy !req
330. is the most thankless
job I've ever had!Copy !req
331. No wonder she ran
away to Mexico!Copy !req
332. Ai!Copy !req
333. Oh, I'm sorry I frightened you,
Señor Filipe.Copy !req
334. You did not frighten me.Copy !req
335. We need to talk.Copy !req
336. Excuse me, Margarita,Copy !req
337. but those must be
the roses I had delivered.Copy !req
338. Roses?Copy !req
339. Yeah, I know this is notCopy !req
340. what I brought you
up here for,Copy !req
341. but would you mind
getting the rosesCopy !req
342. and bringing them
to my bedroom?Copy !req
343. Si.Copy !req
344. Uh, could you place the roses
on the bed?Copy !req
345. Maybe... maybe spread
the petals around?Copy !req
346. It needs a woman's touch, yes?Copy !req
347. Look, Señor,
we really need to talk.Copy !req
348. Uh, y-yes, I remember,Copy !req
349. but I need a moment
to, uh, prepare myselfCopy !req
350. and then I will give
you my full attentions.Copy !req
351. He wants to kiss me much.Copy !req
352. Okay, soon you are going to be
face-to-faceCopy !req
353. with a naked, wet,
Latin television star.Copy !req
354. All right, then what, Peggy?
Huh?Copy !req
355. All right, then what, Peggy?
You'll forget what's-his-name...Copy !req
356. Oh, God, what is his name?Copy !req
357. Hank! Hank Hill.Copy !req
358. No, no, no.Copy !req
359. I will not give that man the
thrill of me seeing him naked.Copy !req
360. No!Copy !req
361. Señora Hill, what in
God's name are you doing?Copy !req
362. Stop playing coy with me,
Eduardo.Copy !req
363. I must insist that you leave,
Señora.Copy !req
364. All right, I am not leavingCopy !req
365. until you wrap this towel
around youCopy !req
366. and you listen
to what I have to say.Copy !req
367. Señor Filipe, I understand
that my being an American womanCopy !req
368. may seem exotic...Copy !req
369. Uh, my wife has
come home early.Copy !req
370. What? Yourwife?Copy !req
371. Oh, God,
what do we do?Copy !req
372. What do we do?Copy !req
373. I will go down
to greet her.Copy !req
374. Yes! Yes! That's good!Copy !req
375. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
376. The roses!Copy !req
377. Señora Hill...Copy !req
378. where are the roses?Copy !req
379. Don't worry. I
took care of them.Copy !req
380. Now, where is your wife?Copy !req
381. Uh, Señora Hill,
this is my wife Maria.Copy !req
382. Hola.Copy !req
383. I... I thought you were dead.Copy !req
384. No. I was with my ancestors.Copy !req
385. No, not my ancestors...Copy !req
386. my, uh... ay, como se dice...Copy !req
387. My grandparents.Copy !req
388. Yes, yes, I told her this.Copy !req
389. Señora Filipe, I
just want you to knowCopy !req
390. that nothing happened
between us.Copy !req
391. Even though I was flattered
by your husband's advances,Copy !req
392. I am a happily
married woman.Copy !req
393. I am so sorry,Copy !req
394. but I will not be able
to satisfy your lust for me.Copy !req
395. Oh, wait, wait...
l-I am sorry,Copy !req
396. I am not sure I understand.Copy !req
397. You...Copy !req
398. You thought
I wanted you as a lover?Copy !req
399. Well, yes.Copy !req
400. Well, you couldn't have been
more obvious...Copy !req
401. the mango, the roses...Copy !req
402. The roses were a surprise
for my wife.Copy !req
403. Well, of course you would
say that in front of her.Copy !req
404. But you cannot deny your
constant flirting with me.Copy !req
405. I mean, the wine, the familiar
use of "tu" instead of "su".Copy !req
406. I was just being
a good host.Copy !req
407. Señora, I am sorry,Copy !req
408. but I do not desire you
in that way at all.Copy !req
409. You are, how you
say, um... old.Copy !req
410. Old? I am not old.Copy !req
411. I am only 41.Copy !req
412. Oh, no, I've
done it again.Copy !req
413. Anyway, I would
never, never,Copy !req
414. never take you
as a lover.Copy !req
415. I got it.Copy !req
416. Oh, this is so embarrassing.Copy !req
417. Uh, yes, it's quite comical.Copy !req
418. Look, my wife
finds it comical as well.Copy !req
419. Oh... uh...Copy !req
420. I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
421. Hello? Strickland Propane.Copy !req
422. Hi, Hank. It's me.Copy !req
423. I just thought
you would like to knowCopy !req
424. that I'm coming home tomorrow.Copy !req
425. Turns out my students
were really fast learners.Copy !req
426. Well, uh, I'm glad
you're coming back.Copy !req
427. It's not the same without you.Copy !req
428. Uh, we miss you.Copy !req
429. My flight number
is Mexicana Airlines, 710.Copy !req
430. Okay, bye!Copy !req
431. I have contacted
another teacher for your children.Copy !req
432. Her name is Sandra Morgan.Copy !req
433. She's 61 years old.Copy !req
434. She is old.Copy !req
435. Well, then, via con dios.Copy !req
436. I meant that as myself,
not as, you know, the character.Copy !req
437. Welcome home to Texas, Peggy.Copy !req
438. Where is the truck?Copy !req
439. Oh, no!Copy !req
440. What's this on the floor?Copy !req
441. Hank, I...Copy !req
442. I have been on a plane
all night.Copy !req
443. Whatever is on the floorCopy !req
444. I will pick it up
in the morning.Copy !req
445. Hey, looks likeCopy !req
446. chocolates, and, uh...Copy !req
447. wow, they're, uh, Kisses.Copy !req
448. Did you do this?Copy !req
449. Yeah. I got it
from the Redbook.Copy !req
450. Hey, I wonder
where they go?Copy !req
451. Do they lead to our bed?Copy !req
452. Maybe.Copy !req
453. They don't lead to the bed.Copy !req
454. Nope. Keep going.Copy !req
455. To the bathroom?Copy !req
456. Uh...Copy !req
457. Okay, the tub.Copy !req
458. Hank, did you buy
scented candles?Copy !req
459. I am tired and I give up.Copy !req
460. What am I looking for?Copy !req
461. His-and-her sinks.Copy !req
462. Well, that's
yours right there.Copy !req
463. Turn on the tap.
Give it a try.Copy !req
464. You don't like it.Copy !req
465. Hank,Copy !req
466. I love it.Copy !req
467. You know how you
always complainCopy !req
468. that I was shaving
and leaving hairs in the sink?Copy !req
469. Well, Joe Jack
heard about this plumberCopy !req
470. that was going out of business,
and then...Copy !req
471. Ripped By mstollCopy !req
472. Wha-hoo!Copy !req
473. In Español.Copy !req
474. Ai.Copy !req