1. Vaya con Dios.Copy !req
2. Even in a wedding dress.Copy !req
3. Monsignor Martinez looks hot.Copy !req
4. Hmm, that is one sexy priest.Copy !req
5. Este sabado,Copy !req
6. Eduardo Filipe su mismoCopy !req
7. va a aparecer persona en Arlen, Texas.Copy !req
8. Oh, my god.Copy !req
9. The actor who plays Monsignor Martinez,Copy !req
10. Eduardo Filipe, is coming to Arlen.Copy !req
11. We have to go, shugs.Copy !req
12. I bet he's even swarthier in person.Copy !req
13. I have been using videotapes of the showCopy !req
14. as a teaching tool in my Spanish class.Copy !req
15. I bet I could get the actor to show upCopy !req
16. and be a guest speaker.Copy !req
17. I would to see
the full-time teacher Mrs. Pratt,Copy !req
18. try to follow me after that.Copy !req
19. I am very excited to be in…Copy !req
20. Arlen, to promote the new episodesCopy !req
21. of my show.Copy !req
22. This will be our 11th season.Copy !req
23. I can't believe it's really him.Copy !req
24. Hey, could you say,
"Vaya con Dios" for me?Copy !req
25. Next.Copy !req
26. Hola, my name is Peggy Hill,Copy !req
27. and I am the three-time winnerCopy !req
28. of the substitute teacher awardCopy !req
29. at Tom Landry Middle School.Copy !req
30. Well, maybe I should be asking
for your autograph.Copy !req
31. Oh, no.Copy !req
32. Senor Filipe, my students and I
love your show.Copy !req
33. And I was wondering
if you could come to my Spanish classCopy !req
34. as a special guest.Copy !req
35. Oh, I'm sorry, senora,Copy !req
36. but I have a rule
about special appearances.Copy !req
37. I do them only for my charity work
with the sick children,Copy !req
38. or for paid vacations on the cruise ships.Copy !req
39. Dad, I accidentally
used your toothbrush again.Copy !req
40. Throw it out.Copy !req
41. I got freakin' Monsignor MartinezCopy !req
42. and he is coming to my classroom tomorrow.Copy !req
43. Really? Wow!Copy !req
44. Mom, can I come meet him?Copy !req
45. You bet you can!Copy !req
46. But you have to pretend
to be a sick child.Copy !req
47. What? The man only does guest appearances
for sick children. So what?Copy !req
48. Peggy, the boy ain't right,
but he's not sick.Copy !req
49. Can I be in a bubble?Copy !req
50. Who is excited about watchingCopy !req
51. this week's episode of Monsignor Martinez?Copy !req
52. Yeah!Copy !req
53. Stop it, ma'am.Copy !req
54. If you put that tape in, it will explode.Copy !req
55. The real Monsignor Martinez!Copy !req
56. Oh, senor.Copy !req
57. This is the sick boy
I was telling you about.Copy !req
58. He cannot talk.Copy !req
59. Be brave, little soldier.Copy !req
60. From now on,Copy !req
61. you will be in the prayers
of Monsignor Martinez.Copy !req
62. Senor, he should not be
out of his bubble for too long.Copy !req
63. If the moment is truthfulCopy !req
64. then stabbing to death El Jefe
with an icicleCopy !req
65. will come almost without conscious effort.Copy !req
66. Okay, kids.Copy !req
67. I'm afraid that is all the time we have
with our very special guest.Copy !req
68. Oh… oh… In "Ess-pa-nol."Copy !req
69. Ay-ee…Copy !req
70. - That was the best…
- You are the coolest…Copy !req
71. Oh, gracias, gracias, Senor Filipe.Copy !req
72. The children loved you.Copy !req
73. Oh, the pleasure was all mine.Copy !req
74. Sometimes I forget we have
many young viewers.Copy !req
75. We should probably do more episodesCopy !req
76. like the one about the monkeyCopy !req
77. who smuggled the cocaine
under his little hat.Copy !req
78. Senora, I'm about to have some lunch.Copy !req
79. Please, join me.Copy !req
80. I noticed you have
the same passion for teachingCopy !req
81. that I have for acting.Copy !req
82. Gracias.Copy !req
83. Hey, say, "Vaya con Dios," dude!Copy !req
84. - Hey! Hey!
- Uh…Copy !req
85. Do not look over.Copy !req
86. It will only encourage them.Copy !req
87. "Vaya con Dios,"Copy !req
88. you pantload.Copy !req
89. Uh, Senora Hill, I have two childrenCopy !req
90. who are about to take entrance examsCopy !req
91. to private high school in America.Copy !req
92. A teacher like yourself with your passionCopy !req
93. could help them pass such a test.Copy !req
94. Would you be interested
in coming to MexicoCopy !req
95. to tutor my children?Copy !req
96. Really?Copy !req
97. I can see I have surprised you
with my offer.Copy !req
98. I will give you… a day
to think about it.Copy !req
99. Talk it over with the loved ones.Copy !req
100. Oh, senor, I have something to confess.Copy !req
101. That boy in my classroom
was not sick at all.Copy !req
102. Actually, that boy
is my healthy son Bobby.Copy !req
103. Senora Hill, I am an actor.Copy !req
104. I could tell right away
that he was not sick.Copy !req
105. I do not mean to be unkind,Copy !req
106. but your son gave a terrible performance.Copy !req
107. Yes, he was terrible, wasn't he?Copy !req
108. Ah, yes.Copy !req
109. But not as terrible as this fish! Waiter!Copy !req
110. Hank, are you going
to the propane convention in Alberta?Copy !req
111. There's a propane convention in Alberta?Copy !req
112. It's exciting, isn't it?Copy !req
113. Oh, but you'll be so far away in Canada.Copy !req
114. Well, yeah, but no distance is too greatCopy !req
115. when it comes to propane.Copy !req
116. Mm-hmm, and I would have no problemCopy !req
117. with you going to that convention,Copy !req
118. even if it's for two weeks.Copy !req
119. I don't see why you would.Copy !req
120. Hank, there is no propane conventionCopy !req
121. - in Alberta.
- What?Copy !req
122. But I have been offered a job in "Mehico."Copy !req
123. The actor who plays Monsignor MartinezCopy !req
124. wants me to go to "Mehico"Copy !req
125. and be a private tutor for his children.Copy !req
126. It will only be for two weeks.Copy !req
127. No way, Peggy.Copy !req
128. You only know this guy
through the television.Copy !req
129. Oh, Hank.Copy !req
130. Can't you see what an incredible
opportunity this is for me?Copy !req
131. This is a real double whammyCopy !req
132. for me, Peggy.Copy !req
133. You wanna leave
and there's no propane convention.Copy !req
134. But if it means that much to you,Copy !req
135. I guess you should give this guy a callCopy !req
136. and tell him yes.Copy !req
137. Thank you, Hank. Oh!Copy !req
138. Luanne,Copy !req
139. I want you to look after Bobby and Hank
while I'm gone.Copy !req
140. I would have had you
practice with an egg first,Copy !req
141. but there's no time.Copy !req
142. You're trusting me?Copy !req
143. I will do such a good job being you,Copy !req
144. that you will not even know
that you're gone.Copy !req
145. Well, I… I guess I should get going.Copy !req
146. Wow, this is gonna be
the first time we'll be apartCopy !req
147. for more than a couple of days.Copy !req
148. Yeah, uh, Peggy, remember
to take your glasses offCopy !req
149. before you take a nap on the plane.Copy !req
150. I will, Hank.Copy !req
151. Pe… Peggy, not in the airport.Copy !req
152. I trust your flight was good.Copy !req
153. You know I've never flown
first class before.Copy !req
154. My husband says, "Coach is just as good.Copy !req
155. You get there at the same time."Copy !req
156. Yes, yes.Copy !req
157. People who have never flown first class
always say that.Copy !req
158. Ah, Senora Hill.Copy !req
159. These are my children, your students.Copy !req
160. Antonio and Christina.Copy !req
161. Hola, Senora Hill.Copy !req
162. Hola.Copy !req
163. Senora, you have had a long flight.Copy !req
164. May I suggest you start fresh morning?Copy !req
165. Oh, morning, yes, of course.Copy !req
166. Let me show you around.Copy !req
167. My house is your house.Copy !req
168. Senora Hill, acting
is not my only passion.Copy !req
169. I have anotherCopy !req
170. making homemade wine.Copy !req
171. I, too, have another passion… Boggle.Copy !req
172. It is good to have many passions, yes?Copy !req
173. I have always said… Um…Copy !req
174. Uh, these blackouts happen
all the time in Mexico.Copy !req
175. One of my children was conceived
in such a blackout.Copy !req
176. Would you like to taste
my homemade wine, Senora Hill?Copy !req
177. Well, you have the most
spectacular sunsets in "Mehico."Copy !req
178. Yes, it is the pollution.Copy !req
179. My wife and I used to sit
out here every nightCopy !req
180. and watch the sun sink behind the city.Copy !req
181. If it's not too personal a question,
where is your wife?Copy !req
182. She is, uh… how you say,Copy !req
183. with our ancestors.Copy !req
184. Oh, I am so sorry.Copy !req
185. I miss her very much.Copy !req
186. The heart can get lonely.Copy !req
187. More wine?Copy !req
188. More wine?Copy !req
189. Well, who could say noCopy !req
190. to a glass of homemade Mexican wine?Copy !req
191. This is actually pretty good, Luanne.Copy !req
192. I got the recipe from Redbook.Copy !req
193. Which is actually a magazine.Copy !req
194. Well, I'm done.Copy !req
195. - See ya.
- See ya.Copy !req
196. Oh, wait.Copy !req
197. I think you're supposed to excuse yourselfCopy !req
198. from the table properly.Copy !req
199. Sit down, please.Copy !req
200. May I be excused from the table?Copy !req
201. Yes, you may.Copy !req
202. He's a lovely boy.Copy !req
203. Who? Bobby?Copy !req
204. Uh-uh-uh.Copy !req
205. We do not answer the phone
during dinner hour.Copy !req
206. Yes, we do.Copy !req
207. Hello.Copy !req
208. Hi, honey, it's me.Copy !req
209. Oh, how's the new job going?Copy !req
210. Oh, it's great.Copy !req
211. Senor Filipe took me
on a tour of his mansion.Copy !req
212. He showed me his private gym
and wine cellar,Copy !req
213. and I tasted some of his homemade wine.Copy !req
214. Hm. That sounds unnecessary.Copy !req
215. Oh, he was just being courtly.Copy !req
216. He's a Latin. That's what they do.Copy !req
217. They are courtly.Copy !req
218. Oh, Hank.Copy !req
219. You know, I should get some sleep.Copy !req
220. I start teaching tomorrow. Love you.Copy !req
221. Uh… back at ya.Copy !req
222. My children have promised meCopy !req
223. that they will listen to your every wordCopy !req
224. as if you were their mother.Copy !req
225. For you, Senora Hill.Copy !req
226. Oh, a mango.Copy !req
227. One of the passion fruits.Copy !req
228. Gracias, senor.Copy !req
229. Uh, it's from the children.Copy !req
230. Oh, right. Uh-huh.Copy !req
231. The children.Copy !req
232. Gribble residence.Copy !req
233. Nancy, it's Peggy.Copy !req
234. Eduardo is flirting with me big time.Copy !req
235. I think he is coming on to me.Copy !req
236. Are you sure?Copy !req
237. Uh-huh. He used the familiar "your house"Copy !req
238. instead of "his house."Copy !req
239. We drank wine on a balcony
and watched the sunset.Copy !req
240. - Where's the wife?
- Dead.Copy !req
241. - Perfect. Did you flirt back?
- I do not know.Copy !req
242. Did you blush and giggle a lot
when he talked?Copy !req
243. Oh, I may have blushed
and giggled once or twice.Copy !req
244. Congratulations, shug.Copy !req
245. You were flirting.Copy !req
246. But I got to warn you.Copy !req
247. Don't enjoy it too muchCopy !req
248. because there's this moment
where there is no turning back.Copy !req
249. All of a sudden you can't remember
your husband's name.Copy !req
250. Your body goes limp,Copy !req
251. and then you are pulled down
by the undertow of passion.Copy !req
252. You're drowning, shug, but you don't care.Copy !req
253. I will never drownCopy !req
254. because I am wearing
the best life preserver there isCopy !req
255. my marriage to Hank.Copy !req
256. Margarita.Copy !req
257. I want you, Margarita.Copy !req
258. I want you like I've wanted
no other woman.Copy !req
259. And I am afraid you
cannot have me, Eduardo.Copy !req
260. For I have given my heart
to another… Hank Hill.Copy !req
261. Oh, I hate this Hank Hill
for stealing your heart.Copy !req
262. Please, I must have you now,Copy !req
263. or I will throw myself off this cliff.Copy !req
264. I must refuse your advances
for the second time.Copy !req
265. Eduardo! No!Copy !req
266. Think of the children!Copy !req
267. What is the capital of Oregon?Copy !req
268. Senora Hill?Copy !req
269. What is the capital of Oregon?Copy !req
270. Huh? Uh, Portland.Copy !req
271. No, no, Salem.Copy !req
272. Are you sure, Senora?Copy !req
273. Who's the American here?Copy !req
274. Hey, Luanne, did you buy any beer?Copy !req
275. I know you wanted me
to get a case of beer,Copy !req
276. but it's not very healthy,Copy !req
277. so I got a case of V-8 juice instead.Copy !req
278. But it's my week
to bring the beer out to the alley.Copy !req
279. Uncle Hank, V-8 juice has eight vitamins.Copy !req
280. Beer has one… barley.Copy !req
281. Ew!Copy !req
282. So Peggy phoned Nancy last nightCopy !req
283. and apparently, this Eduardo fellaCopy !req
284. is real sweet on Peggy.Copy !req
285. What? Dale, I think Nancy must have hadCopy !req
286. a bad connection or somethingCopy !req
287. because I talked to PeggyCopy !req
288. and she said that Eduardo
was just being courtly.Copy !req
289. Mmm…Copy !req
290. No…Copy !req
291. Doesn't surprise me.Copy !req
292. Peggy's a very beautiful woman.Copy !req
293. Shut up, Bill.Copy !req
294. Why? Don't you think Peggy
is beautiful, Hank?Copy !req
295. Of course, I do.Copy !req
296. I just don't feel the need
to say it is all.Copy !req
297. And thatCopy !req
298. is why it is called Pittsburgh.Copy !req
299. Ah, senora.Copy !req
300. Senora, I need your help, uh,
in the running some lines.Copy !req
301. Okay… you are the Ambassador's
beautiful daughterCopy !req
302. who speaks no Spanish.Copy !req
303. We hide in the drug lord's greenhouse.Copy !req
304. It is hot, very, very hot,Copy !req
305. and also very dangerous.Copy !req
306. You must stand close.Copy !req
307. Oh, well, it is how people would standCopy !req
308. in a hot, dangerous greenhouse.Copy !req
309. The one thing more dangerous
than my enemiesCopy !req
310. is your beauty.Copy !req
311. "Hold me tight.Copy !req
312. I so greatly fear these enemies
who threaten us."Copy !req
313. Hush, Rebecca.Copy !req
314. I believe my enemies are coming.Copy !req
315. And I also believeCopy !req
316. that I am falling in love with you.Copy !req
317. Oh, god! That is good dialogue.Copy !req
318. I need a fruit drink break.Copy !req
319. Uncle Hank, we need to have
a serious talk about Bobby.Copy !req
320. No, we don't.Copy !req
321. Now, Bobby's at an ageCopy !req
322. where we should be giving him hisCopy !req
323. sex talk.Copy !req
324. Luanne, stop trying to be your Aunt Peggy.Copy !req
325. You're no Peggy.Copy !req
326. You're fired.Copy !req
327. Well, I'm glad you're firing me!Copy !req
328. 'Cause being Aunt Peggy
is the most thankless job I've ever had!Copy !req
329. No wonder she ran away to Mexico!Copy !req
330. Hey!Copy !req
331. I'm sorry I frightened you, Senor Filipe.Copy !req
332. You did not frighten me.Copy !req
333. We need to talk.Copy !req
334. Excuse me, Margarita,Copy !req
335. but those must be
the roses I had delivered.Copy !req
336. Roses?Copy !req
337. Yeah, I know this is not
what I brought you up here for,Copy !req
338. but would you mind getting the rosesCopy !req
339. and bringing them to my bedroom?Copy !req
340. Yes.Copy !req
341. Uh, could you place the roses on the bed?Copy !req
342. Maybe… maybe spread the petals around?Copy !req
343. It needs a woman's touch, yes?Copy !req
344. Look, senor, we really need to talk.Copy !req
345. Uh, yes, I remember,Copy !req
346. but I need a moment to, uh, prepare myselfCopy !req
347. and then I will give you
my full attention.Copy !req
348. He wants to kiss me much.Copy !req
349. Okay, soon you are going
to be face-to-faceCopy !req
350. with a naked, wet, Latin television star.Copy !req
351. All right, then what, Peggy? Huh?Copy !req
352. You'll forget what's his name?Copy !req
353. Oh, god, what is his name?Copy !req
354. Hank! Hank Hill.Copy !req
355. No, no, no.Copy !req
356. I will not give that manCopy !req
357. the thrill of me seeing him naked. No!Copy !req
358. Hey, Senora Hill,
what in God's name are you doing?Copy !req
359. Stop playing coy with me, Eduardo.Copy !req
360. I must insist that you leave, senora.Copy !req
361. All right, I am not leavingCopy !req
362. until you wrap this towel around youCopy !req
363. and you listen to what I have to say.Copy !req
364. Senor Filipe, I understand
that my being an American womanCopy !req
365. may seem exotic…Copy !req
366. Ah, my wife has come home early.Copy !req
367. What? Your wife?Copy !req
368. Oh, god, what do we do? What do we do?Copy !req
369. I will go down to greet her.Copy !req
370. Yes! Yes! That's good!Copy !req
371. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
372. The roses!Copy !req
373. Senora HillCopy !req
374. where are the roses?Copy !req
375. Don't worry. I took care of them.Copy !req
376. Now, where is your wife?Copy !req
377. Uh, Senora Hill, this is my wife Maria.Copy !req
378. Hola.Copy !req
379. I… I thought you were dead.Copy !req
380. No. I was with my ancestors.Copy !req
381. No, not my ancestors…Copy !req
382. My, uh…Copy !req
383. Oh, how do you say…Copy !req
384. My grandparents.Copy !req
385. Yes, yes, I told her this.Copy !req
386. Senora Filipe, I just want you to knowCopy !req
387. that nothing happened between us.Copy !req
388. Even though I was flattered
by your husband's advances,Copy !req
389. I am a happily married woman.Copy !req
390. I am so sorry,Copy !req
391. but I will not be able
to satisfy your lust for me.Copy !req
392. Oh, wait, wait… I… I am sorry.Copy !req
393. I am not sure I understand.Copy !req
394. You…Copy !req
395. You thought I wanted you as a lover?Copy !req
396. Well, yes.Copy !req
397. Well, you couldn't have been more obvious.Copy !req
398. The mango, the roses.Copy !req
399. Uh, the roses were a surprise for my wife.Copy !req
400. Well, of course, you would say that
in front of her.Copy !req
401. But you cannot deny your
constant flirting with me.Copy !req
402. I mean, the wine,
the familiar use of "tu" instead of "su".Copy !req
403. I was just being a good host.Copy !req
404. Senora, I am sorry,Copy !req
405. but I do not desire you
in that way at all.Copy !req
406. You are, how you say?Copy !req
407. Um… old.Copy !req
408. Old? I am not old.Copy !req
409. I am only 41.Copy !req
410. Oh, no, I've done it again.Copy !req
411. Anyway, I would never, never,Copy !req
412. never take you as a lover.Copy !req
413. I got it.Copy !req
414. Oh, this is so embarrassing.Copy !req
415. Uh, yes, it's quite comical.Copy !req
416. Look, my wife finds it comical as well.Copy !req
417. Oh… uh…Copy !req
418. I'm… I'm sorry.Copy !req
419. Hello? Strickland Propane.Copy !req
420. Hi, Hank. It's me.Copy !req
421. I just thought you would like to knowCopy !req
422. that I'm coming home tomorrow.Copy !req
423. Turns out my students
were really fast learners.Copy !req
424. Well, uh, I'm glad you're coming back.Copy !req
425. It's not the same without you.Copy !req
426. Uh, we miss you.Copy !req
427. My flight number
is "Mehicana" Airlines, 710.Copy !req
428. Okay, bye!Copy !req
429. I have contacted another teacher
for your children.Copy !req
430. Her name is Sandra Morgan.Copy !req
431. She's 61 years old.Copy !req
432. She is old.Copy !req
433. Well, then, vaya con Dios.Copy !req
434. I meant that as myself,
not as, you know, the character.Copy !req
435. Welcome home to Texas, Peggy.Copy !req
436. Where is the truck?Copy !req
437. Oh, no!Copy !req
438. What's this on the floor?Copy !req
439. Hank, I…Copy !req
440. I have been on a plane all night.Copy !req
441. Whatever is on the floor,Copy !req
442. I will pick it up in the morning.Copy !req
443. Hey, looks like chocolates.Copy !req
444. And, uhCopy !req
445. wow, they're, uh, Kisses.Copy !req
446. Did you do this?Copy !req
447. Yeah. I got it from the Redbook.Copy !req
448. Hey, I wonder where they go?Copy !req
449. - Do they lead to our bed?
- Maybe.Copy !req
450. They don't lead to the bed.Copy !req
451. Nope. Keep going.Copy !req
452. To the bathroom? Uh…Copy !req
453. Okay, the tub.Copy !req
454. Hank, did you buy scented candles?Copy !req
455. I am tired and I give up.Copy !req
456. What am I looking for?Copy !req
457. His-and-her sinks.Copy !req
458. Well, that's yours right there.Copy !req
459. Turn on the tap. Give it a try.Copy !req
460. You don't like it.Copy !req
461. Hank…Copy !req
462. I love it.Copy !req
463. You know how you always complainCopy !req
464. that I was shaving
and leaving hairs in the sink?Copy !req
465. Well, Joe Jack heard about this plumberCopy !req
466. that was going out of business.Copy !req
467. D Yahoo! d.Copy !req
468. I can't believe it's really him!Copy !req