1. Ripped By mstoll
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2. Hank!
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3. I found the coupons.
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4. Oh... they've expired.
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5. Dang it.
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6. Aw, heck, I'm really in
the mood for some ice cream.
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7. Let's just pay the full price.
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8. Uh, you guys
go on ahead without me.
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9. I'm sticking
to my New Year's resolution...
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10. ice cream once a day.
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11. Attaboy, Bobby.
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12. Nothing tastes sweeter
than self-discipline.
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13. That's right...
go get your ice cream.
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14. Ladybird?
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15. You ready, girl?
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16. Yeah, Ladybird!
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17. I'm sorry, Peggy.
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18. It's just that kid...
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19. he stuck his fingers
in the ice cream
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20. and it ruined the mood.
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21. And we turn.
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22. Whoa!
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23. Bobby, what the hell are
you doing with my dog?
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24. I... it's, uh...
it's extreme training.
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25. Looked like dancing to me.
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26. It was dancing.
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27. It's called
"Musical Canine Freestyle."
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28. Liar.
No, no, no.
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29. Look, it's a real thing.
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30. They have contests,
and everything.
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31. It started up in Canada.
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32. They're supposed
to be our allies.
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33. Dad, it's okay.
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34. The routine we worked out
is low-impact
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35. and Ladybird loves it.
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36. She's 13 years old.
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37. If I hadn't stopped
you when I did
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38. you could have
displaced her hip.
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39. But we were training for
a contest in McMaynerbury.
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40. No. No more dancing,
or any other Canadian tricks.
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41. She's got arthritis.
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42. Who's got arthritis?
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43. Yes, you do.
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44. Come on, girl,
time for your nap.
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45. I'll turn on the dryer
to help you sleep.
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46. Just when I think
the boy is acting normal
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47. I catch him dancing
with Ladybird.
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48. Ugh! And he had her
wearing a bandanna.
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49. Dog b' man best friend, man.
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50. Talkin' 'bout no
can't no dress 'em up
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51. like some of them dang ol'
little lady's poodle, man.
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52. Talkin' 'bout
d-d-dang ol' dog, man.
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53. No dignity, man.
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54. No dignity.
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55. Exactly, Boomhauer.
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56. Pfff! Dancing with
dogs... ridiculous.
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57. Next thing you know
they'll have them smoking.
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58. Hey, that's not a bad idea...
doggie cigarettes.
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59. I thought of it first!
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60. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
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61. What kind of dance
were they doing, Hank?
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62. Uh, I don't know.
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63. The Twist. Why?
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64. Uh... Bobby
should be severely punished.
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65. What was he thinking?
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66. It's a jackass sport.
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67. Excuse me.
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68. I have to attend to a personal
matter of pressing importance.
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69. Bill's so busy these days.
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70. I'm going to miss
dancing with that dog.
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71. You know, I dance
with the seniors
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72. down at the nursing home.
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73. Maybe that would cheer you up.
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74. It would be nice to have
a boy there for a change.
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75. Have you been listening?
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76. I want to dance with dogs,
not old people.
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77. Geez.
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78. Hey.
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79. When you see him in person
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80. he is really a monster.
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81. Five feet if he's an inch.
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82. This new planer
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83. really does the trick,
huh, Ladybird?
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84. Watch it, Ladybird.
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85. Daddy's using the planer.
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86. What is it, Ladybird?
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87. You like that music, huh, girl?
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88. Ladybird,
you're a beautiful dancer.
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89. I'm looking to adopt a dog
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90. that could be
a good dancing partner.
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91. One that can really cut a rug.
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92. I was thinking maybe a longhair.
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93. I like long hair.
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94. That one there?
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95. Yeah, well,
he looks like he's strong
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96. and he's certainly got
a lot of energy.
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97. Are they a good breed
for dog dancing?
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98. Oh, yeah, they're,
uh, bred for dancing.
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99. Oh! I hope
you like rock 'n roll!
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100. So, you want to
dance with my dog.
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101. But what's in it
for the big dog... me, Khan?
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102. Uh...
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103. How about
you pick up Doggie's poo
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104. from my yard?
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105. That way, child prodigy Connie
get to study more
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106. poo-picking hillbilly
get to dance with dog.
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107. Universe in harmony.
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108. He's a small dog.
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109. How bad could it be?
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110. Yeah.
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111. Deal.
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112. You start now!
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113. Oh, geez!
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114. What are you feeding him?
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115. Just going to, uh, get gas.
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116. Hey, Peggy, you notice anything
different about Ladybird?
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117. Is the left side of
her face paralyzed?
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118. Nope. She's lost two pounds.
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119. Tapeworm!
That was my second guess.
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120. No. Since I've been,
uh, walking her more
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121. she's been getting
in great shape. Listen.
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122. No creaking joints
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123. and I've stopped giving her
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124. heranti-inflammatory
medication.
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125. Even her bark
sounds more youthful.
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126. It's like she's a puppy again.
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127. You know, I'm going to keep...
walking her.
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128. I don't care
what anybody thinks.
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129. I love you, Peggy.
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130. Hey, Ladybird
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131. remember when you won
this ribbon
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132. for cutest puppy at the mall?
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133. Huh, do you?
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134. Labor Day?
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135. Remember that, huh, do you?
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136. Fall of '89...
huh?
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137. Do you remember?
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138. Yeah, me, too.
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139. Let's win you another ribbon,
girl.
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140. She's named after former
First Lady Lady Bird Johnson.
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141. So, there is no
limitto the number
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142. of sequins an entrant
can have on his costume?
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143. Can I get that in writing?
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144. Mr. Hill,
you forgot your pen.
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145. Dad?
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146. What are you doing here?
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147. Okay, I know
what this looks like
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148. and it is what it is.
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149. You lied.
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150. You made me think dog dancing
was for weirdos.
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151. Wait a minute,
that's Khan's dog.
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152. You're dancing
with the neighbor's dog
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153. against me and Ladybird?
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154. Well, what was I supposed to do,
not dance with a dog?
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155. And anyway, you said Ladybird
was too old to dance.
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156. If you pumped her
full of pain pills
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157. I'm make sure you're
both disqualified.
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158. Well, what do you care?
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159. Looks like you'll dance
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160. with any dog that will have you.
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161. Oh, he's not just any dog.
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162. This little fella may
poo like a buffalo
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163. but he dances like
Britney Spears.
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164. Oh, yeah? Well, I think
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165. this pup's going to surprise you
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166. with a few moves of her own.
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167. I believe it's up to the judges
to decide
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168. who's got the moves
and who doesn't.
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169. I'll see you
out on the dance floor.
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170. Fwah!
That's just a little taste.
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171. Dad. Ladybird.
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172. Just let us in.
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173. We'll go straight to my room.
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174. We need to practice.
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175. You're dancing
with the neighbor's dog.
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176. Go dance at the neighbor's.
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177. Come on!
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178. Leave, or I'll call the pound.
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179. You're scared, old man.
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180. You're scared of my moves!
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181. That's crazy.
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182. Peggy?
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183. Hank, this is all very simple.
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184. You both want to
dance with dogs.
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185. Right. You each have a
dog you can dance with.
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186. You take your dog to the garage.
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187. You dance with her there.
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188. Bobby gets to dance with
his dog in his bedroom.
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189. Everybody gets to
dance with a dog.
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190. Everybody wins.
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191. You ready to dance, Rex?
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192. Of course you are.
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193. It's in your blood.
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194. Okay.
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195. You want to lead?
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196. Is that it, boy?
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197. A costume.
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198. Rex, j-just,
just move your paw.
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199. That's...
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200. Now, I know this isn't our style
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201. but you got to do
what you got to do.
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202. Wow. Ladybird,
I really think
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203. we're going to win this thing.
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204. Oh, Bill?
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205. Hank, I know you
don't like dog dancing
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206. but I need your advice.
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207. I bought a dog to dance with.
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208. It won't dance with me!
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209. It's all my fault.
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210. I'm doing something
to push it away
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211. just like I pushed away Lenore.
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212. Bill, this isn't a good time.
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213. L-I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
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214. Aw!
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215. Doesn't Ladybird
look cute in that hat?
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216. Hank.
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217. You're dog dancing!
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218. Look, you cannot tell Dale
or Boomhauer about this, okay?
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219. They wouldn't understand.
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220. No, of course they
wouldn't; they're idiots.
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221. Oh, isn't dog dancing
wonderful, Hank?
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222. Yes.
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223. What am I doing to make
the dog hate me, Hank?
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224. Why? Why am I
so repulsive?
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225. You're not repulsive,
Bill. Maybe...
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226. Yes?
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227. Maybe it's the song
you picked out.
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228. The song, yes, the song!
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229. What about the song?
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230. Let your dog
help choose the song.
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231. Just don't let him
pick something
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232. like "Doggie in the Window"
or'Hound Dog."
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233. It's too obvious.
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234. Wait, why am I telling you this?
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235. You're not entering
the competition, are you?
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236. Well, yeah, I thought...
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237. Get out.
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238. Mm-mm.
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239. This is good.
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240. Nice and salty.
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241. I said the funniest thing today.
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242. Well, I almost did...
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243. Are you going to finish
that gristle?
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244. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
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245. But you never eat your gristle.
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246. You always give it to Ladybird.
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247. Spit it out.
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248. You don't even like gristle.
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249. But I do like the taste
of you not getting it.
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250. Hank, Bobby, stop it.
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251. No ribbon is more important
than your family.
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252. For God's sake,
you are fighting over fat.
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253. Yeah, you're right,
you're right.
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254. Uh, let me make it up
to both of you.
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255. Peggy, let's go out dancing
like we usually do
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256. and let Bobby and Doggie
have the house to practice.
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257. Alone.
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258. But you have to lock
Ladybird in the garage.
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259. Of course.
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260. Oh, it is certainly nice
to get out of the house.
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261. It's been so tense with all
the arguing and barking.
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262. I'm glad you're having fun,
'cause you deserve it.
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263. Oh! Hank...
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264. You are dip-crazy
tonight.
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265. Yup, yup.
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266. So, uh, since you brought it up
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267. do you know if Bobby does
any dips in his routine?
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268. Or any other moves
you've noticed.
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269. Are you pumping me
for information?
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270. How much backwards
walking are they doing?
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271. A little, average or a lot?
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272. Hank, I am trying really hard
to remain neutral here.
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273. I thought you wanted
to dance with me.
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274. I do, I do, you're right.
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275. It's just you and me, Ladybird.
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276. What?
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277. You just blew it, mister.
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278. Fine. You know what?
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279. I hope Bobby wins.
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280. What?
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281. Oh, sure, go home to Bobby
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282. and the neighbor's dog.
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283. While you're at it
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284. why don't you just move in
with Kahn and Mihn?
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285. You can eat rice all day
and never celebrate Christmas.
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286. Good luck, Hank.
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287. It's got nothing
to do with luck, Peggy.
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288. We're going to win this thing.
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289. You're making a big mistake.
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290. Ladybird hates you.
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291. What do they see
in that yappy little rat?
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292. We can win this thing
without them. Right, Ladybird?
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293. You look great in that outfit,
by the way.
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294. On the count of three,
everyone say "bones."
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295. One, two...
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296. Don't, don't move,
it's just the red eye.
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297. Wow, these dogs are
dressed to the nines.
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298. It's like they're going
to dance at the White House.
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299. Don't worry, Ladybird,
we're going to win this thing.
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300. Remember,
it's not just about pageantry
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301. it's about a man
and his dog dancing together.
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302. That's what the people
came to see
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303. and that's what
we're going to give them.
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304. It's our trump card.
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305. That's what we've got over
all these nut jobs, right, girl?
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306. Come on, Rex. Settle down.
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307. We're going to be late
for the competition.
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308. Oh, he's dreaming.
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309. Let's have another
big round of applause
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310. for Pam Taylor and her
Irish setter, Sparkles.
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311. Sparkles?
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312. More like Fizzles.
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313. Still leaving the dance area.
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314. I'm Dud Jeperson
along with Sketch Randall
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315. and we're just so gosh darn
happy to be here.
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316. And they're off the dance floor.
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317. Next up is Hank Hill
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318. and his purebred
bloodhound, Ladybird.
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319. Are you ready
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320. to see more dancing?
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321. Okay, pup, this is it.
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322. Uh, I just wanted
to, uh, apologize
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323. for what Ladybird
and I are about to do.
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324. Win.
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325. Well hello to you, too,
Hank Hill.
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326. And what poise and
mobility from that bloodhound.
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327. The feet, the hand
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328. the tail, all moving
as one unit.
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329. No wonder this proud bitch
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330. was named after
our former First Lady.
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331. Bill Dauterive and Rex,
you're on deck.
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332. And uh, oh, no muzzles.
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333. Yeah, but I...
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334. No muzzles.
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335. Those are the rules.
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336. Okay.
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337. Way to go, girl.
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338. It's not too late
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339. for you and Doggie to turn tail.
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340. Take some notes,
because this is how
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341. people are going to be
dog dancing from now on.
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342. Next up, Bobby Hill and
his mixed terrier, Doggie.
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343. We are witnessing a dream.
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344. I hope I never wake up
and this dance lasts forever.
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345. A boy, a dog, a dance.
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346. Are they even
touching the floor?
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347. Amazing.
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348. Boy, the alley's dead today.
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349. I don't even know how
to describe that move.
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350. I wish everyone who denies
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351. the pure athleticism
of dog dancing
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352. could see what I'm
seeing right now.
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353. It's okay, Ladybird.
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354. All flash, no substance.
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355. And the third prize
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356. for Beginners Off-Leash
Musical Freestyle goes to...
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357. Rhonda Clark and her
Border Collie, Rusty.
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358. Second prize goes to...
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359. Bobby Hill
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360. and his neighbor's dog, Doggie.
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361. Oh!
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362. And first prize
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363. goes to...
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364. This is it, girl.
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365. Helen Bradley and her
toy poodle, Buddy.
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366. Well, we did our best, girl.
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367. It's a young dog's sport.
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368. Come on, let's go home.
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369. Time for your nap.
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370. You want
to watch me paint, girl?
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371. It's semi-gloss.
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372. No, Ladybird, that's not for us.
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373. Oh, how can I say no
to that face?
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374. Care to cut in, son?
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375. There's someone else
I owe this dance to.
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376. Ma'am.
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377. Now, where were we?
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378. Ripped By mstoll
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379. Just move your paw.
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