King of the Hill 7x5

Scott Hamilton as Scott Hamilton (voice) • David Herman as (voice)

A dog-dancing contest pits Hank and Ladybird against Bobby and Connie's dog, while Bill tries to partner with a rottweiler.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hank.

2. I found the coupons.

3. Oh… they've expired.

4. Dang it.

5. Aw, heck, I'm really in the mood for some ice cream.

6. Let's just pay the full price.

7. Uh, you guys go on ahead without me.

8. I'm sticking to my New Year's resolution.

9. Ice cream once a day.

10. Attaboy, Bobby.

11. Nothing tastes sweeter than self-discipline.

12. That's right. Go get your ice cream.

13. You ready, girl?

14. Yeah, Ladybird.

15. I'm sorry, Peggy. It's just that kid,

16. he stuck his fingers in the ice cream, and it ruined the mood.

17. D Baby d.

18. And we turn.

19. Whoa.

20. Bobby, what the hell are you doing with my dog?

21. I… it's, uh…

22. It's extreme training.

23. Looked like dancing to me.

24. It was dancing.

25. It's called "Musical Canine Freestyle."

26. - Liar. - No, no, no.

27. Look, it's a real thing.

28. They have contests and everything.

29. It started up in Canada.

30. They're supposed to be our allies.

31. Dad, it's okay.

32. The routine we worked out is low-impact,

33. and Ladybird loves it.

34. She's 13 years old.

35. If I hadn't stopped you when I did, you could have displaced her hip.

36. But we were training for a contest in McMaynerbury.

37. No. No more dancing, or any other Canadian tricks.

38. She's got arthritis.

39. Who's got arthritis? Yes, you do.

40. Come on, girl, time for your nap.

41. I'll turn on the dryer to help you sleep.

42. Just when I think the boy is acting normal

43. I catch him dancing with Ladybird.

44. Ugh. And he had her wearing a bandanna.

45. Dog b' man best friend, man.

46. Talkin' 'bout no can't no dress 'em up

47. like some of them dang ol' little lady's poodle, man.

48. Talkin' 'bout d-d-dang ol' dog, man. No dignity, man.

49. No dignity.

50. Exactly, Boomhauer.

51. Pfff. Dancing with dogs, ridiculous.

52. Next thing you know, they'll have them smoking.

53. Hey, that's not a bad idea. Doggie cigarettes.

54. I thought of it first.

55. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

56. What kind of dance were they doing, Hank?

57. Uh, I don't know.

58. The Twist. Why?

59. Uh… Bobby should be severely punished.

60. What was he thinking? It's a jackass sport.

61. Excuse me.

62. I have to attend to a personal matter of pressing importance.

63. Bill's so busy these days.

64. I'm gonna miss dancing with that dog.

65. You know, I dance with the seniors down at the nursing home.

66. Maybe that would cheer you up.

67. It would be nice to have a boy there for a change.

68. Have you been listening?

69. I want to dance with dogs, not old people.

70. Jeez.

71. Hey.

72. Where the customer is always number one.

73. Robbins & Sons Hardware.

74. This new planer really does the trick, huh, Ladybird?

75. And now back to our program.

76. Watch it, Ladybird.

77. Daddy's using the planer.

78. What is it, Ladybird?

79. You like that music, huh, girl?

80. Ladybird, you're a beautiful dancer.

81. I'm looking to adopt a dog that could be a good dancing partner.

82. One that can really cut a rug.

83. I was thinking maybe a longhair.

84. I like long hair.

85. That one there?

86. Yeah, well, he looks like he's strong,

87. and he's certainly got a lot of energy.

88. Are they a good breed for dog dancing?

89. Oh, yeah, they're, uh, bred for dancing.

90. Oh. I hope you like rock 'n roll.

91. So, you want to dance with my dog.

92. But what's in it for the big dog? Me, Khan?

93. Uh…

94. How about you pick up Doggie's poo from my yard?

95. That way, child prodigy Connie get to study more

96. poo-picking hillbilly get to dance with dog.

97. Universe in harmony.

98. He's a small dog. How bad could it be?

99. Yeah.

100. - Deal. - You start now.

101. Oh, jeez.

102. What are you feeding him?

103. Just going to, uh, get gas.

104. Hey, Peggy, you notice anything different about Ladybird?

105. Is the left side of her face paralyzed?

106. Nope. She's lost two pounds.

107. Tapeworm. That was my second guess.

108. No. Since I've been, uh, walking her more,

109. she's been getting in great shape. Listen.

110. No creaking joints

111. and I've stopped giving her her anti-inflammatory medication.

112. Even her bark sounds more youthful.

113. It's like she's a puppy again.

114. You know, I'm gonna keep… walking her.

115. I don't care what anybody thinks.

116. I love you, Peggy.

117. Hey, Ladybird,

118. remember when you won this ribbon for cutest puppy at the mall?

119. Huh, do you? Labor Day?

120. Remember that, huh, do you?

121. Fall of '89, huh? Do you remember?

122. Yeah, me too.

123. Let's win you another ribbon, girl.

124. She's named after former First Lady Lady Bird Johnson.

125. So, there is no limit to the number

126. of sequins an entrant can have on his costume?

127. Can I get that in writing?

128. - Mr. Hill, you forgot your pen. - Oh.

129. Dad?

130. What are you doing here?

131. Okay, I know what this looks like, and it is what it is.

132. You lied.

133. You made me think dog dancing was for weirdos.

134. Wait a minute, that's Khan's dog.

135. You're dancing with the neighbor's dog against me and Ladybird?

136. Well, what was I supposed to do, not dance with a dog?

137. And anyway, you said Ladybird was too old to dance.

138. If you pumped her full of pain pills, I'll make sure you're both disqualified.

139. Well, what do you care?

140. Looks like you'll dance with any dog that will have you.

141. Oh, he's not just any dog.

142. This little fella may poo like a buffalo

143. but he dances like Britney Spears.

144. Oh, yeah? Well, I think this pup's gonna surprise you

145. with a few moves of her own.

146. I believe it's up to the judges to decide who's got the moves and who doesn't.

147. I'll see you out on the dance floor.

148. Wah. That's just a little taste.

149. Dad. Ladybird.

150. Just let us in.

151. We'll go straight to my room. We need to practice.

152. You're dancing with the neighbor's dog.

153. Go dance at the neighbor's.

154. Come on.

155. Leave, or I'll call the pound.

156. You're scared, old man.

157. You're scared of my moves.

158. That's crazy.

159. Peggy?

160. Hank, this is all very simple.

161. You both want to dance with dogs.

162. Right. You each have a dog you can dance with.

163. You take your dog to the garage.

164. You dance with her there.

165. Bobby gets to dance with his dog in his bedroom.

166. Everybody gets to dance with a dog.

167. Everybody wins.

168. You ready to dance, Rex?

169. Of course you are. It's in your blood.

170. D You never was my girl d.

171. Okay.

172. You want to lead?

173. Is that it, boy?

174. A costume.

175. Rex, just, just move your paw.

176. That's…

177. Now, I know this isn't our style, but you got to do what you got to do.

178. Wow.

179. Ladybird, I really think we're gonna win this thing.

180. - Oh, Bill? - Hank.

181. I know you don't like dog dancing, but I need your advice.

182. I bought a dog to dance with.

183. It won't dance with me.

184. It's all my fault.

185. I'm doing something to push it away just like I pushed away Lenore.

186. Bill, this isn't a good time.

187. Uh, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

188. Aww.

189. Doesn't Ladybird look cute in that hat? Does…

190. Hank.

191. You're dog dancing.

192. Look, you cannot tell Dale or Boomhauer about this, okay?

193. They wouldn't understand.

194. No, of course, they wouldn't, they're idiots.

195. Oh, isn't dog dancing wonderful, Hank?

196. Yes.

197. What am I doing to make the dog hate me, Hank?

198. Why? Why am I so repulsive?

199. You're not repulsive, Bill.

200. - Maybe… - Yes?

201. Maybe it's the song you picked out.

202. The song. Yes, the song. The song. What about the song?

203. Let your dog help choose the song.

204. Just don't let him pick something

205. like Doggie in the Window or Hound Dog.

206. It's too obvious.

207. Wait, why am I telling you this?

208. You're not entering the competition, are you?

209. Well, yeah, I thought…

210. Get out.

211. Mm. Mm.

212. This is good. Nice and salty.

213. I said the funniest thing today.

214. - Well, I almost did… - Are you gonna finish that gristle?

215. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

216. But you never eat your gristle.

217. You always give it to Ladybird.

218. Spit it out. You don't even like gristle.

219. But I do like the taste of you not getting it.

220. Hank, Bobby, stop it.

221. No ribbon is more important than your family.

222. For God's sake, you are fighting over fat.

223. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

224. Uh, let me make it up to both of you.

225. Peggy, let's go out dancing like we usually do

226. and let Bobby and Doggie have the house to practice. Alone.

227. But you have to lock Ladybird in the garage.

228. Of course.

229. Oh, it is certainly nice to get out of the house.

230. It's been so tense with all the arguing and barking.

231. I'm glad you're having fun, 'cause you deserve it.

232. Oh. Hank…

233. You are dip-crazy tonight.

234. Yup, yup.

235. So, uh, since you brought it up,

236. do you know if Bobby does any dips in his routine?

237. Or any other moves you've noticed.

238. Are you pumping me for information?

239. How much backwards walking are they doing?

240. A little, average or a lot?

241. Hank, I am trying really hard to remain neutral here.

242. I thought you wanted to dance with me.

243. I do, I do, you're right.

244. It's just you and me, Ladybird.

245. What?

246. You just blew it, mister.

247. Fine. You know what?

248. - I hope Bobby wins. - What?

249. Oh, sure, go home to Bobby and the neighbor's dog.

250. While you're at it, why don't you just move in with Kahn and Minh?

251. You can eat rice all day and never celebrate Christmas.

252. Good luck, Hank.

253. It's got nothing to do with luck, Peggy.

254. We're gonna win this thing. You're making a big mistake.

255. Ladybird hates you.

256. Huh?

257. Aw.

258. What do they see in that yappy little rat?

259. We can win this thing without them. Right, Ladybird?

260. You look great in that outfit, by the way.

261. On the count of three, everyone say "bones."

262. One, two…

263. Don't, don't move, it's just the red-eye.

264. Bones.

265. Wow, these dogs are dressed to the nines.

266. It's like they're going to dance at the White House.

267. Don't worry, Ladybird, we're gonna win this thing.

268. Remember, it's not just about pageantry,

269. it's about a man and his dog dancing together.

270. That's what the people came to see, and that's what we're gonna give them.

271. It's our trump card.

272. That's what we've got over all these nut jobs, right, girl?

273. Come on, Rex. Settle down.

274. We're gonna be late for the competition.

275. Oh.

276. Aww

277. he's dreaming.

278. Let's have another big round of applause

279. for Pam Taylor and her Irish setter, Sparkles.

280. Sparkles?

281. More like Fizzles.

282. Still leaving the dance area.

283. I'm Dud Jeperson along with Sketch Randall

284. and we're just so gosh darn happy to be here.

285. And they're off the dance floor.

286. Next up is Hank Hill and his purebred bloodhound, Ladybird.

287. Are you ready to see more dancing?

288. Okay, pup, this is it.

289. Uh, I just wanted to, uh, apologize for what Ladybird and I are about to do.

290. Win.

291. Well, hello to you, too, Hank Hill.

292. And what poise and mobility from that bloodhound.

293. The feet, the hand

294. the tail, all moving as one unit.

295. No wonder this proud bitch was named after our former First Lady.

296. Bill Dauterive and Rex, you're on deck.

297. And uh, oh, uh, no muzzles.

298. - Yeah, but I… - No muzzles.

299. Those are the rules.

300. Okay.

301. Way to go, girl.

302. It's not too late for you and Doggie to turn tail.

303. Take some notes,

304. because this is how people are gonna be dog dancing from now on.

305. Next up, Bobby Hill and his mixed terrier, Doggie.

306. We are witnessing a dream.

307. I hope I never wake up, and this dance lasts forever.

308. A boy, a dog, a dance.

309. Are they even touching the floor?

310. Amazing.

311. D You've got to move this d.

312. Boy, the alley's dead today.

313. I don't even know how to describe that move.

314. I wish everyone who denies the pure athleticism of dog dancing

315. could see what I'm seeing right now.

316. It's okay, Ladybird. All flash, no substance.

317. And the third prize

318. for Beginners Off-Leash Musical Freestyle goes to…

319. Rhonda Clark and her Border Collie, Rusty.

320. Second prize goes to…

321. Bobby Hill and his neighbor's dog, Doggie.

322. And first prize

323. goes to…

324. This is it, girl.

325. Helen Bradley and her toy poodle, Buddy.

326. Hi, kids.

327. Well, we did our best, girl.

328. It's a young dog's sport.

329. Come on, let's go home. Time for your nap.

330. You want to watch me paint, girl?

331. It's semi-gloss.

332. No, Ladybird, that's not for us.

333. Oh, how can I say no to that face?

334. Care to cut in, son?

335. There's someone else I owe this dance to.

336. Ma'am.

337. Now, where were we?

338. Just move your paw.

339. That's…