King of the Hill 7x11

Directed by Michael Dante DiMartino

Freeda Foreman as Self (voice) • George Foreman as Self (voice) • David Herman as Les (voice) • Bruce Dern as Randy Strickland (voice) • Carmen Electra as Angela (voice)

Luanne becomes a boxer and, buoyed by success in fixed fights, challenges George Foreman's daughter.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - X equals two… - Come on, reach up higher.

2. - Y equals seven. - Your butt equals ten.

3. Why don't you take a picture, Stu? It would last longer.

4. Okay. Work it.

5. That's right, ladies. And kick.

6. X equals jerk, Y equals pig…

7. Hey, you kicked me.

8. I'm sorry.

9. I closed my eyes, and I was thinking of those stupid guys in my math class.

10. Oh, and the guy in the parking lot,

11. and that volunteer pool cleaner who always comes by when I'm swimming.

12. Tell me about it.

13. I once fell for a free breast examination in a bar.

14. It just makes me so… ooh, so… mmm!

15. There's nothing in the rule book

16. that says a robot can't play in theFrat Olympics.

17. Hey!

18. Why don't the nerds just move across town

19. instead of living right next door to the jock fraternity?

20. That way, nobody will be constantly breaking their gadgets.

21. No, no, that's wrong, Bobby.

22. If the nerds stood up to them once in a while,

23. they wouldn't get their gadgets broken in the first place.

24. Listen, if you don't fight for yourself, you're never gonna get anyone's respect.

25. Yeah, there's nothing worse than people not respecting you.

26. Every time I get hooted at, I have to take an hour of Tae Bo.

27. Tae Bo? Is that that new Oriental way of moving your couch around?

28. Nuh-uh. It's an exercise class where you punch and you kick

29. till you can't think of anything else no more.

30. No, uh, no, actually, you punch, kick, kick, squat, squat,

31. rest, two, three, all to music, and kick.

32. Oh, it's dancing.

33. - Huh. That sounds… - No.

34. Uh, Mr. Strickland,

35. a couple of folks from the Chamber of Commerce are here

36. to thank you for your work with the orphans.

37. Orphans? Chamber of Commerce?

38. You are so modest, sir.

39. Well, looky who's back from rehab.

40. It's, uh, it's my little baby brother.

41. I want my money, Buck.

42. Mm…

43. Boy, you never were much with the ladies, but…

44. Ow, ow, ow!

45. Watch it there, Shrek, that's a Eye-talian suit.

46. Greta ain't my girlfriend.

47. She's a lady boxer I manage.

48. Although we did get dirty one time.

49. All right, all right, I'll pay.

50. Donna, put a hold on them payroll checks.

51. You putting the squeeze on me really takes me back.

52. Hey, I know a new girlie club

53. where we could ogle some ladies. No cover charge.

54. Let's not be lazy. Keep it up.

55. Punch and kick and kick.

56. Almost over, ladies. Give me a few more.

57. Whoo-whee! What a workout!

58. I'm sweating like a lumberjack.

59. All right, good job, ladies. See you next week.

60. Well, hey, there, Luanne. Good workout.

61. Yeah, it looked good from here.

62. If you were looking at me,

63. I'm going to have to have both of your gym memberships revoked.

64. And I would hate to do that because you both look terrible.

65. Uh, no, no, no. W-We're, we're just, uh, uh…

66. Scouting talent.

67. Yeah, I'm a boxing promoter, and, uh, we're just here scouting talent.

68. I'd love to see you in the ring.

69. Boxing.

70. Hah. My mama's in prison 'cause she fights so much.

71. Do you think that there's some way

72. her genes could have been passed down to me?

73. Wait a minute, Randy.

74. Luanne here might make a really good opponent for Greta. Yeah.

75. We could put up posters all over town. Call it "Beauty and the Beast."

76. Which one am I?

77. Because if it's okay with you, I'd like to be the beast.

78. Did I scare you?

79. Okay, guess who I ran into at the gym?

80. Buck Strickland.

81. He watched me do Tae Bo,

82. and he thinks that I'd make a great boxer.

83. Look, Luanne, I fought at the Y.

84. - Trust me, you are no boxer. - Yuh-huh.

85. Friday at midnight in the back room at Sugarfoot's.

86. And I am going to stand up and fight and be respected just like you said.

87. Luanne, the kind of women that box

88. don't have 50 stuffed animals on their bed.

89. Hey, why don't you spend Friday night watching one of those movies you like

90. where the people fall in love, and then one of them dies?

91. Oh, Luanne, you have to understand, your uncle only wants the best for you.

92. That said, everything he just told you, complete jackassery.

93. Dear Lord, one of your creatures may be hurt tonight.

94. Please let it be the other creature.

95. Amen.

96. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, Luanne, looking good.

97. Yeah, now, just remember, the key to boxing is to jump up and down.

98. Yeah, keep bouncing. Bounce and weave.

99. Okay, folks,

100. you paid your moneys.

101. Here come the honeys.

102. The Beauty and the Beast.

103. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

104. Watch the kicks, or I'll disqualify you, and you'll lose your free rib dinner.

105. Tell Joseph and Dale if he's listening, good night and get to bed.

106. I got a live feed with the hostess at Sugarfoot's.

107. She's got Luanne's fight on the speakerphone.

108. Oh, God, she went through with it?

109. Luanne, no!

110. One, two, three, four…

111. She's out.

112. Whoa.

113. I did it! I won, I won, I won!

114. You tagged her good. What a left hook.

115. Oh, yeah. You didn't think I could do it, but I did it.

116. Great job, Luanne.

117. You want to fight some more for us?

118. Uh, I got a contract right here.

119. It's very fair.

120. Oh, my gosh.

121. Did you hear that, Uncle Hank?

122. They want me to be a professional fighter.

123. Ooh!

124. I'm a professional fighter!

125. Mmm, women boxing, huh?

126. If they wear gloves, how do they scratch each other?

127. No, Bill, they punch pretty hard.

128. And Luanne was really something.

129. I tell you what. Dale fights more like a girl than she did last night.

130. So I bit a cashier. I'm a street fighter.

131. Luanne,

132. I always hoped to give my old boxing gloves from the Y to Bobby

133. but, uh, well

134. you know.

135. Anyway, I'd be honored, if you'd wear these in your next match.

136. Oh, Uncle Hank.

137. Every time I punch someone in the face,

138. I'll think of you.

139. To Luanne!

140. Getting rich off a pretty lady's even better than sleeping with one.

141. Well, neck and neck.

142. Well, lookee here.

143. Now, I know it must have killed you to throw that fight, Biggun,

144. but it was one hell of a convincing dive.

145. If you had any looks, you could be a Hollywood actress.

146. Mm. Thank you.

147. Here's your flop fee.

148. Don't touch anything on the way out, huh?

149. Times have changed.

150. Trained boxers willing to take a dive are too gotdang expensive.

151. Hey, Bora, you'd take a punch for $100, wouldn't you?

152. No, sir.

153. - Two hundred? - Yes, sir, I would.

154. Okay, Luanne.

155. Buck says this Bora the Slammin' Slavic is nine and four,

156. and she used to pull a dogsled back in her native Croatia.

157. When my fans are out there respecting me,

158. I feel like a strong, powerful, ooh, independent woman.

159. Luanne.

160. I brought you some tassels.

161. Tassels?

162. Yeah, it's a fight game, boy scout.

163. We need a little show for the people.

164. Oh, I get it. A little flash.

165. Like Hector "Macho" Camacho.

166. Light on your feet, Luanne. She's one of them Russian brawlers.

167. Yeah, yeah, good, Luanne, good.

168. Now, hop like a bunny, hop like a bunny.

169. Oh, uh, well, you know, like, uh, Muhammed Ali says,

170. "Hop like a bunny, sting like a bee."

171. Uh, that was "Float like a butterfly," sir.

172. Okay, now, Luanne,

173. southpaw, southpaw!

174. Now, Luanne,

175. you beat some tough fighters,

176. and I think you're ready for a step up in competition.

177. Yeah. You know, I was reading in the Guinness Bookof World Records

178. about a woman who is 7'7".

179. You think she'll fight me?

180. Uh, maybe.

181. But I was thinking about the best female fighter in Texas.

182. George Foreman's daughter, Freeda Foreman.

183. Seems she's managed by her father and four brothers named George.

184. Uh, uh, uh. I already called the Foreman camp.

185. They told me they want nothing to do with Luanne.

186. Yup, they are ducking us.

187. But don't worry, we'll line up another topnotch opponent.

188. Has the pretzel lady gotten back to us yet?

189. Whew. I'm sorry I'm late.

190. I couldn't get used to the heels.

191. What is that?

192. It's my outfit for my next match.

193. Mr. Strickland says that if I ever want to fight Freeda Foreman,

194. I need an image.

195. So… ta-da!

196. I'm a fighting French maid.

197. Dang it.

198. I thought I made myself clear when I told him no boxing thong.

199. I'm gonna go talk to Buck.

200. You need to practice, so get out of that stupid outfit.

201. And for God's sake, don't leave it where Bobby can find it.

202. Luanne, if you want to be punched by Freeda Foreman

203. then Peggy Hill is the one that can make it happen.

204. Come on, let's go pick a fight.

205. It's just that Luanne and I

206. are trying to build a legitimate boxing career.

207. - Oh, Mr. Buck. - Uh, yeah, I got you, Hank.

208. No skimpy costumes, no dressing her like a rabbit.

209. Thanks for coming by.

210. Sir, Mr. Randy is throwing up again.

211. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Thanks, uh, Penelope.

212. Wait a minute. You're supposed to be The Slamming Slavic.

213. But you're just Buck's maid.

214. Buck's maid?

215. All right, all right.

216. You caught me with my pants down.

217. I threw patsies in there to protect your pretty little niece.

218. Oh, God, you mean every fight has been a fraud?

219. What about Helga the Hammer?

220. Librarian. Never been in the ring.

221. Okay, Luanne, now you have to trash-talk and embarrass her.

222. It's the only way she'll accept a fight with you.

223. - You ready? - Uh-huh.

224. Hey, Freeda Foreman!

225. Everybody knows you're nothing but a fraidy cat.

226. Wow, you have pretty eyes.

227. Who the heck are you?

228. Luanne Platter.

229. It's nice to meet you.

230. Yeah, whatever.

231. Hey! Yeah, you, you big can of beans!

232. You give Luanne here a match!

233. Unless you're scared, huh? Are you scared?

234. Yeah, you're not a champ. You're a chump!

235. Chump, chump, chumpity-chump!

236. Shut up, Grandma-hair.

237. Freeda! Oh, Freeda!

238. D Free-hee-hee-da! d.

239. All right, you want to fight? You got a fight.

240. And when I get done whippin' up on her, I'm going to come looking for you.

241. What'd I do?

242. Uncle Hank! Uncle Hank! You'll never believe it!

243. We got a fight with Freeda Foreman!

244. What? No.

245. I know, it's amazing, isn't it?

246. Now, we better train.

247. She's much bigger than me.

248. I think she's even bigger than you.

249. Well, we cannot tell her that her fights are fixed.

250. It would wreck her world.

251. Well, maybe she'll get food poisoning.

252. You gave it to me that one time. You could do it again.

253. Excuse me for making chicken tartare.

254. I could marry Freeda Foreman and refuse to let her fight.

255. May I tell you what? Talking about that dang ole oldest champ in the world

256. man, two times wearing that ole crown, man,

257. but talking about that ole grease, talking about on five pounds

258. since I got on that lost ole thing, man.

259. You're right. George Foreman's a minister and a family man.

260. He'll listen to reason.

261. Boomhauer does it again.

262. So if you like your food

263. lean, mean and tasty,

264. don't forget to pick up one on your way out.

265. Mr. Foreman, sir, I know you don't know me,

266. but I'd like a minute of your time.

267. You want a grill.

268. Uh, no, sir, I'm pretty well set for grills.

269. I sell them for a living,

270. along with propane and propane accessories.

271. Good man. What can I do for you?

272. Well, my niece, Luanne,

273. challenged your daughter to a boxing match

274. and she's not even in Freeda's league,

275. but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her that.

276. So I was thinking if you guys can drop out of the fight.

277. Luanne won't get her feelings hurt, or her face hurt, for that matter.

278. I respect that you want to protect your niece.

279. You know, I didn't want my daughter to become a boxer.

280. Neither did Muhammad but Joe Frazier, on the other hand,

281. he had his baby girl boxing in the crib.

282. So you'll cancel the fight, Champ?

283. - You got it. - Thank you.

284. You're acting just like I'd expect a gold medalist to.

285. Hey, maybe there's something you can do for me.

286. How'd you feel about carrying my grill in your shop?

287. Oh, uh, sorry, we have a strict policy about that.

288. "No novelty grills."

289. Novelty grill!

290. Yeah. You know, no offense, but… your grill is kinda like an iron.

291. You're calling my grill an iron?

292. I've been hit below the belt before, but nothing like this.

293. I think it's a great product

294. for dieters or little girls who want to play barbecue,

295. but you can't compare it to a propane-powered grill.

296. - Fight's on! - What? No.

297. I said fight's on.

298. What's the matter?

299. Smelling all that propane caused you brain damage?

300. That's what it does, you know.

301. No. That is not accurate.

302. Those studies were all done on sick monkeys

303. and at least my grill isn't sold in Housewares.

304. Let it go, Daddy.

305. - He ain't worth it. - You're right.

306. George Three, get this man out of my face.

307. I'm sorry I'm late.

308. I ran farther than I ever have before so look out, Freeda Foreman.

309. Uh… Luanne, those fights you had were fixed.

310. The fighters were fixed? Like my puppy?

311. No, you see, Buck knew that men would pay

312. to see you dance around the ring.

313. So he found a bunch of cleaning ladies for you to fight and knock out.

314. But I'm a great boxer.

315. That's why the fans are always yelling and hollering and

316. throwing… dollar bills and

317. oh, God, am I stupid.

318. So, uh, you can't fight Freeda.

319. She's a real athlete. She'll kill you.

320. You could take a dive, like Bora and the others.

321. Then you'd still get paid at least 'cause you showed up.

322. No. That's cheating,

323. and I got too much self-respect for that,

324. even if every guy in the world thinks I'm a bimbo.

325. Guys suck.

326. I didn't see you in Tae Bo today.

327. Oh, that's probably because I wasn't there.

328. I don't like Tae Bo anymore.

329. It reminds me that I'm not really a boxer.

330. Oh, I wish I could quit.

331. But if I don't go, my modeling agent yells at me.

332. He's also my husband.

333. Hey, I can hook you up with him if you're interested.

334. But just look out because he gets a little grabby.

335. No, I want my next job to be something that men will respect me for.

336. Men are never going to respect us.

337. That's why we've got to use what God or the surgeon gave us

338. to get what they got. Money.

339. So you'd do anything for money?

340. Or a car.

341. So, if you were me,

342. would you take a dive against Freeda Foreman for $1,500?

343. Or a car.

344. All right, now, raise your hand. Which one of you fellows is the bachelor?

345. Yeah!

346. Hey, hey, Luanne with you?

347. She is not gonna show tonight.

348. She asked herself,

349. "What would Jesus do if He were a lady boxer?"

350. The answer? Not show.

351. Now… Oh, oh, there she is.

352. Luanne?

353. Okay, I'm ready to take my dive now. You promise the check will clear, right?

354. Yeah, eventually.

355. Now, don't get hit. You're fighting my aunt next week.

356. Oh, and those gentlemen over there

357. are here for a bachelor party.

358. Now, come on, give them a big ol' bouncy "hello."

359. Hi.

360. Mm.

361. So you can see, my grill is perfect

362. for a big man like yourself.

363. I've told you six times, I'm not interested.

364. And go!

365. Bounce, baby! Whoo-hee!

366. One!

367. - Two! - Hey, I got some singles!

368. - Three! Four! - Oh, I cannot watch this.

369. Say my name!

370. Say my name! It's Bradley!

371. Spank yourself!

372. Eight!

373. Nine!

374. What are you doing?

375. Stay down! Stay down!

376. Oh, my God, she's gonna get killed!

377. Oh, what the heck is she doing?

378. We're taking her picture for the calendar this week.

379. If I could take a punch like that,

380. I may have been able to think of a name besides "George" for all my sons.

381. That gal's all skull and no brains.

382. She's like Joe Frazier with lipstick.

383. Way to go, Luanne.

384. Luanne, southpaw! Southpaw!

385. Whoo-hoo! Whoo-whoo!

386. Luanne! Luanne!

387. Oh, yeah! That's the Platter in her!

388. - Man, she is tough. - Stick and move! Use your left!

389. Don't give up, Luanne! You can do it!

390. There she is.

391. Stu, what did I tell you about taking pictures of me?

392. Whoa, whoa. No, I wanted a picture with you.

393. I saw your fight.

394. You lasted three rounds with Freeda Foreman.

395. You are one tough chick.

396. Thank you.

397. That's all I ever wanted to hear.

398. Novelty grill? Fight's on!