1. Ripped By mstoll
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2. If I wasn't stealing
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3. so much beer from this place
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4. I'd totally quit.
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5. Yeah, we should build
our own MegaloMart.
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6. Call it, like... CooloMart.
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7. Blue vest, incoming.
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8. Who's the lowest?
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9. We're the lowest!
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10. Megalo-team!
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11. Megalo-fun!
Megalo-sucks.
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12. Exercises, huh?
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13. I got to tell you, Norm
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14. when MegaloMart
first came to town
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15. I hated it, but I got to admit
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16. I like buying my hammers
and pants at the same store
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17. so I can see how
they look together.
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18. Glad we won you over, Hank.
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19. Since you been handling
our propane
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20. I don't have
to spend time checking
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21. to see if the tanks
are really filled.
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22. That's why I call you
"Full Tank Hank," Hank.
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23. Well, that's catchy.
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24. Who's the lowest?
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25. We're the lowest.
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26. Megalo-team.
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27. Who's the lowest?
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28. We're the lowest...
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29. By the way,
we got another shipment
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30. of those culottes
your wife likes.
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31. Just remember,
a Chinese large is a medium.
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32. Well, Peggy loves
her culottes.
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33. Dang it.
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34. Just between you and me
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35. we got a little rat
infestation here.
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36. Hank, you're tapped in,
and I can trust you.
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37. You know a good exterminator?
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38. Someone who's discreet
but can get the job done?
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39. No.
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40. Yep.
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41. Yup.
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42. Ant!
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43. Got him.
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44. You owe me five bucks.
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45. No way.
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46. Come on, Bill,
I need the money.
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47. That damned
new PestPro franchise
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48. has been taking
all my business.
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49. If I could just get one
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50. good job,
I'd be back on my feet.
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51. Hey, Boomhauer, you any
closer to getting married?
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52. Dang ol'... huh?
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53. I heard
down at the chemical warehouse
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54. that MegaloMart's taking bids
for a rat problem.
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55. Man, that would be
a sweet gig.
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56. I could start paying
for Nancy's health insurance
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57. instead of just telling Nancy
I'm paying for it.
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58. All right, Dale,
I can see you need the work
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59. and I know the manager
at MegaloMart.
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60. But be careful.
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61. This is a very big client
for me.
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62. All right, Hank!
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63. Hi, I'm Chuck Mangione
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64. and at MegaloMart,
our prices are falling
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65. faster than I am!
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66. I just don't know
about putting my reputation
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67. in the hands of a man
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68. I wouldn't lend
my mechanical pencil to.
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69. Look, Dale needs this
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70. and if there's one thing
Dale can do, it's kill things.
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71. Wait, wait, does MegaloMart
still have a pet department?
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72. No.
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73. He'll be fine.
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74. Well, I guess
he'd do the same for me.
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75. I mean, whenever he prints up
that money of his
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76. I'm usually
on the 100-Gribble bill.
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77. I don't know
how to thank you, Hank.
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78. I'll let the fellas down
at Shoe box Greetings
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79. do it for me.
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80. Just thank me
by doing a thorough, discreet
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81. professional, quiet, detailed,
courteous, efficient job.
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82. I won't let you down.
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83. I'm actually going
to spray poison
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84. instead of walking around
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85. going "sss."
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86. So, anyway, uh,
the rats have chewed
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87. through the wires
in our security cameras
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88. and destroyed several hundred
dollars worth of crackers.
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89. Now, I don't want
to alarm the customers
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90. so we got to keep a low profile.
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91. You won't know I'm here,
Glide well
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92. but the rats that drag
their diseased bellies
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93. across your merchandise will.
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94. And now, the bait.
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95. Hmm.
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96. Rat poison lasagna
or rat poison Salisbury steak?
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97. Ah, heck, Hank's reputation
is on the line.
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98. I'm going to let this rat
have it with both barrels.
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99. Nothing!
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100. What am I doing wrong?
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101. I don't get it!
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102. Wait. I've encountered
a bite pattern like that before
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103. but where?
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104. Here!
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105. Now, where did I get that?
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106. Hmm.
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107. Possum, possum, manatee...
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108. Aha! Of course.
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109. Jungle Country Safari.
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110. I'm not looking for a rat
at all.
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111. This is art, man.
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112. I told you, we should totally
build stage designs for Creed.
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113. Hank, it's going better than
I could possibly have expected.
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114. Oh, good.
Did you catch it already?
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115. Not yet, but I'm on the trail.
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116. Remember when you said you
hoped I learned my lesson
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117. from that run-in
with the baboon?
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118. Well, let's just say,
"Lesson learned and applied."
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119. Dude!
Dude!
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120. Oops. Uh...
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121. have you noticed any baboons
in the store lately?
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122. From a distance,
they may have looked
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123. like a large, hairy customer
with a bright red ass.
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124. $39.99?
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125. That's weird.
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126. I bought this CD for
$4.99 at CD Express
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127. and I thought it was
outrageously overpriced
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128. albeit quite pleasant
to make love to.
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129. Yeah, man, it's real strange.
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130. Sometimes we see things
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131. and, like, the prices
are totally marked wrong
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132. and I know I didn't do it,
and I know he didn't do it.
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133. Yeah, and sometimes
in the morning
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134. the Mangione standees are all
facing a different direction
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135. than they were
the night before.
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136. How do you figure that?
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137. Hmm. You've added a piece
to the puzzle.
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138. Now, were the standees moved
sloppily, as if by a monkey
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139. or neatly, as if by a man?
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140. Neatly.
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141. As if by man.
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142. Here's the deal, Glidewell.
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143. This gig may be less
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144. of a quote-unquote
"extermination"
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145. and more
of a quote-unquote "murder."
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146. Just tell me you can handle it.
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147. Hank said you were the best.
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148. Hank said that?
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149. I mean, I knew
he'd put in a good word for me
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150. but... "the best"?
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151. All right, I'll need
to spend the night here
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152. as my prey seems to be nocturnal
in nature.
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153. I don't know.
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154. It's against company policy.
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155. I guarantee success by morning
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156. or Hank Hill
is a braying jackass.
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157. I really think
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158. I did the right thing
recommending Dale.
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159. Hank, you are distracting
my concentration.
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160. I'm trying to teach Bobby
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161. how to play
Don't Spill the Beans.
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162. Out of beans!
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163. That's six games in a row, Mom.
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164. What? Now, that
is impossible.
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165. I've never lost anything
six times in a row.
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166. Bobby, open your mouth.
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167. Ah...
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168. Hill residence.
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169. Dale, is that you?
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170. Are you done?
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171. It won't be long now.
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172. I'm working through the night.
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173. You're spending the night
in the store?
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174. Is the rat problem that bad?
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175. Rat problem?
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176. Oh, of course, you still think
there's rats here.
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177. Well, don't beat yourself up,
Hank.
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178. I did too until the evidence
pointed to baboon.
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179. Baboon?
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180. Dale, don't tell Glidewell
there's a baboon.
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181. It's not a baboon.
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182. I know that.
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183. I won't bore you
with the details
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184. but bottom line...
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185. it's Chuck Mangione.
What?
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186. And I'm going
to flush him out tonight.
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187. And Hank, Glidewell told me
you said I was the best.
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188. I nearly teared up
right there in front of him.
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189. No! No! No! No!
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190. Don't worry, I didn't.
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191. D-Dale, Dale?
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192. You know,
I have been thinking about it.
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193. You never should have
recommended Dale.
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194. Dale's losing it
at MegaloMart, Nancy.
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195. We need some traps
for the rats
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196. and a tranquilizer gun
for D... uh...
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197. Also for the rats.
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198. Hank, he has his
whole self-esteem
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199. tied up in killing
things smaller than he is.
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200. If y'all catch the rat,
please put it in his pocket
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201. so he thinks he caught it.
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202. Here, everyone
put on a jumpsuit.
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203. If Glidewell shows up
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204. we'll look like Dale's crew.
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205. Now remember, find the rat
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206. kill the rat,
pat Dale on the back.
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207. That's where the culottes are.
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208. Quit... re... sis... ting!
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209. Ha!
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210. Hank?
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211. Give me that!
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212. What are you guys doing here?
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213. And why are you wearing
my backup jumpsuit?
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214. And my backup's backups?
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215. Hold on.
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216. You're either here
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217. to check up on me
or goof on me.
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218. Which "on me" is it?
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219. You think I can't do the job?
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220. We're just here 'cause...
well, the truth is
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221. we missed you in the alley
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222. so we put on the jumpsuits
to remind us of you
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223. and next thing you know,
here we are.
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224. Well, wingo.
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225. Grab a snack... aisle 12,
and a chair... aisle 94.
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226. But remember,
I'm after big game here...
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227. a breed known as
Chuckus Mangionus.
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228. 'Sgo.
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229. Dale's crazy.
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230. Come out of there,
you dang bean.
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231. Aha!
You little flapjack!
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232. I knew it!
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233. Nobody beats Peggy Hill
six times in a row.
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234. I can't breathe!
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235. Dale, look, a hole.
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236. Rat! Rat! There it is! Get it!
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237. Oh, man, dang ol'
there it is, man!
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238. No, it's behind you.
Dang ol' spray, man.
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239. Come on, come on, right there.
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240. Get it man, oh, don't...
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241. Way to go, Dale,
you... you captured the rat
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242. just like a real exterminator!
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243. Glidewell's gonna...
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244. What the hell?
You had the rat!
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245. Ah, that was
one of the ones I released
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246. to flush out Mangione.
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247. His name is Keith.
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248. What? You're releasing rats
in the store?
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249. My reputation is on the line!
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250. Don't worry.
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251. None of my five trained rats
will be here
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252. when Glidewell comes in.
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253. The mongoose I let out
will see to that.
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254. Mongoose?
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255. Okay. I tell you what, Dale.
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256. You want to search for Chuck
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257. you do it by yourself
over there.
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258. We'll search for, uh... Chuck,
on our own over here.
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259. Whatever you do,
don't get captured.
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260. I will not negotiate
with Mangione.
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261. Mmm...
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262. Got... dang it!
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263. Yeah, talking 'bout
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264. unleash them hounds, man.
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265. Crossbow armed.
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266. And now for the bait.
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267. Bill?
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268. Boomhauer?
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269. Whoo-hoo.
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270. Yo, man. Hey, Hank?
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271. Hey, man, stop that!
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272. Hey, man!
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273. It's got me!
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274. Dang it, Boomhauer
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275. you have one of these at home.
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276. You're supposed to be working.
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277. Got dang ol' Gribble's right,
man!
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278. That dang ol' Mangione comes in,
turns switch, man.
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279. Started to spin around
like my head, man.
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280. What are you talking about?
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281. Man, I talking about that
dang ol' Chuck Mangione, man.
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282. I knew it!
Yippee!
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283. I knew he was here.
I felt his presence.
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284. Come on.
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285. There's an easy explanation
for this.
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286. You spun yourself too hard,
you got dizzy
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287. and then you saw one of those
stand-up displays of Chuck
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288. that are everywhere.
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289. Or Chuck himself.
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290. Leave me alone!
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291. What did Mangione do to you?
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292. Nothing.
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293. He was popping me
with a wet towel!
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294. It's the mongoose!
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295. He's headed for my trip wires.
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296. Hit the deck!
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297. Dale, stop it.
Get up, you guys.
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298. Well, that's the
calculated risk
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299. you take when you
release a mongoose.
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300. That's it!
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301. That is the last straw.
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302. You've gone and turned
a simple rat job
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303. into one of your
crazy conspiracies.
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304. I'm sorry I ever lied
to Glidewell for you, Dale.
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305. Lied?
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306. What are you saying?
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307. I promised on my word
that Glidewell
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308. would have his rat problem
taken care of.
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309. So I'm going to call PestPro
to make sure it's taken care of!
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310. You... you wouldn't, Hank.
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311. You've left me no choice.
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312. Dang it!
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313. The phone's dead.
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314. Oh, God.
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315. The doors are blocked.
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316. Chuck don't want us to leave.
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317. Told you, Hank.
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318. Look, Dale
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319. I'll admit something
bigger than a rat
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320. must have moved
those soda machines.
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321. Now come on, help
us push them away
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322. so we can get out of here.
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323. Yeah, that's exactly what
Chuck wants you to do.
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324. The first one
to touch those machines
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325. will be electrocuted.
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326. Then, while
the rest of you saps
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327. are staring at a charred
and twisted Bill
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328. Chuck will pounce.
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329. Dale, man...
I don't want to die
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330. twisted, painful...
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331. Dale, help me out here.
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332. What do you think
we should do?
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333. What are you asking me for?
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334. I'm loony.
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335. I'm going to go find me a Chuck.
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336. And if you're lucky, when
I check his stomach contents
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337. there won't be pieces of you.
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338. All right. If we're going
to make it through tonight
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339. think, think.
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340. Okay, let's form
a back-to-back triangle
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341. so no one can sneak up on us.
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342. This is good, this is good.
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343. If we just keep our wits about
us, everything will be fine.
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344. You were supposed to keep
your wits about you.
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345. Six beans.
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346. Ah!
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347. Why don't you go home
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348. and get some sleep.
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349. I believe it's your turn,
nose boy.
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350. Dale!
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351. Boomhauer!
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352. Ch-Chuck?
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353. Gotcha
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354. Mr. Adult Contemporary.
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355. I did it!
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356. I caught Chuck Mangione!
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357. What in the hell?
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358. Oh, you're just the kids
from the music department.
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359. He totally thought
we were Chuck Mangione, bro!
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360. We tooled you big time!
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361. Oh, you are such a tool!
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362. I blew it.
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363. All my exterminator's instincts
were wrong.
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364. I'm not fit to live
on this earth
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365. let alone kill the things
that live on this earth.
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366. Oh, you know what
we should do?
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367. Dude, we should dress him up
in ladies' lingerie
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368. take him
to the photo department
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369. and make him sit on our laps!
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370. Let's just shave his
head like we planned.
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371. Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
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372. You can run,
but you can't hide!
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373. All right, now who are you?
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374. Take off the mask
and quit mocking me!
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375. Ouch! Watch the lip, man.
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376. It's you!
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377. It's... really you.
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378. So I'm not crazy
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379. but you are!
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380. You let a mongoose out
in the store.
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381. You're living in a
toilet paper fort.
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382. Let's agree to disagree.
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383. Chuck, I don't get it.
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384. What are you doing here?
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385. This is a long way from
The Merv Griffin Show.
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386. Ah, when I signed the contract
to be the MegaloMart spokesman
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387. I didn't read it carefully.
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388. I have to be
at every store opening
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389. and they open
400 stores a year.
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390. I haven't had time
to record or tour
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391. or give my old lady
any slow, sweet loving in years.
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392. So, I disappeared
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393. to the last place
they'd ever look for me.
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394. I've been living here rent-free,
eating their Cheerios
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395. playing their video games
and trying on their underpants.
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396. Anything to stick it to the Man.
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397. You chewed up
the security camera wires?
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398. It was necessary
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399. so I could come and go
as I pleased.
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400. But what about the droppings?
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401. There were droppings
all over the place.
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402. Make those Megalo chumps
pick'em up!
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403. They owe me!
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404. Right on.
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405. Keeping it real.
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406. Sure sounds like
your friends need you, Dale.
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407. They do, Chuck.
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408. Wait. Every aisle has
a hollow passage
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409. with openings at
the discount flags.
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410. Use it.
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411. Look here, I don't know
what you two are hopped up on
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412. but it's going to wear off
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413. and you're going to be very
regretful about your actions.
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414. Okay, you win!
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415. Can't breathe!
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416. Gentlemen, the
infestation is over.
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417. Except for the mongoose
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418. but I'm sure
he's found a new home.
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419. Thanks for
the recommendation, Hank.
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420. If I'd called PestPro
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421. they would have just sprayed
in here
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422. and I'd have some parents
of dead teens suing me.
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423. Nice work, Gribble.
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424. Yeah, "Nice work, Gribble."
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425. Chuck Mangione
in the MegaloMart.
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426. Yeah, man, that dang
ol' Dale, man.
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427. Chuck Mangione probably in
Hollywood right now, man
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428. probably sticking that ol'
horn to Minnie Driver, man.
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429. Yeah, my mistake.
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430. Silly me.
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431. Look, it might not have
been Chuck Mangione
Copy !req
432. but he found the pests and
took care of the problem.
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433. Dale, I'd recommend
you anytime.
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434. Sorry I doubted you.
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435. What was that?
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436. Muzak.
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437. Just... Muzak.
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438. Ripped By mstoll
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439. Whoo-hoo!
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440. That's where the culottes are.
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