King of the Hill 7x10

Directed by Cyndi Tang-Loveland

Topher Grace as Chris (voice) • Tom Arnold as Norm Glidewell (voice) • Danny Masterson as Cory (voice) • David Herman as (voice) • Chuck Mangione as Chuck Mangione (voice)

Dale exterminates at the Mega Lo Mart, thanks to an endorsement from a reluctant Hank.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. If I wasn't stealing

2. so much beer from this place

3. I'd totally quit.

4. Yeah, we should build our own MegaloMart.

5. Call it, like... CooloMart.

6. Blue vest, incoming.

7. Who's the lowest?

8. We're the lowest!

9. Megalo-team!

10. Megalo-fun! Megalo-sucks.

11. Exercises, huh?

12. I got to tell you, Norm

13. when MegaloMart first came to town

14. I hated it, but I got to admit

15. I like buying my hammers and pants at the same store

16. so I can see how they look together.

17. Glad we won you over, Hank.

18. Since you been handling our propane

19. I don't have to spend time checking

20. to see if the tanks are really filled.

21. That's why I call you "Full Tank Hank," Hank.

22. Well, that's catchy.

23. (chanting): Who's the lowest?

24. We're the lowest.

25. Megalo-team.

26. Who's the lowest?

27. We're the lowest...

28. By the way, we got another shipment

29. of those culottes your wife likes.

30. Just remember, a Chinese large is a medium.

31. Well, Peggy loves her culottes.

32. Dang it.

33. Just between you and me

34. we got a little rat infestation here.

35. Hank, you're tapped in, and I can trust you.

36. You know a good exterminator?

37. Someone who's discreet but can get the job done?

38. No.

39. Yep.

40. Yup.

41. Ant!

42. (grunts)

43. Got him.

44. You owe me five bucks.

45. No way.

46. Come on, Bill, I need the money.

47. That damned new PestPro franchise

48. has been taking all my business.

49. If I could just get one

50. good job, I'd be back on my feet.

51. Hey, Boomhauer, you any closer to getting married?

52. Dang ol'... huh?

53. I heard down at the chemical warehouse

54. that MegaloMart's taking bids for a rat problem.

55. Man, that would be a sweet gig.

56. I could start paying for Nancy's health insurance

57. instead of just telling Nancy I'm paying for it.

58. (sighing)

59. All right, Dale, I can see you need the work

60. and I know the manager at MegaloMart.

61. But be careful.

62. This is a very big client for me.

63. All right, Hank!

64. Hi, I'm Chuck Mangione

65. and at MegaloMart, our prices are falling

66. faster than I am!

67. ("Feels So Good"playing)

68. I just don't know about putting my reputation

69. in the hands of a man

70. I wouldn't lend my mechanical pencil to.

71. Look, Dale needs this

72. and if there's one thing Dale can do, it's kill things.

73. Wait, wait, does MegaloMart still have a pet department?

74. No.

75. He'll be fine.

76. Well, I guess he'd do the same for me.

77. I mean, whenever he prints up that money of his

78. I'm usually on the 100-Gribble bill.

79. I don't know how to thank you, Hank.

80. I'll let the fellas down at Shoe box Greetings

81. do it for me.

82. Just thank me by doing a thorough, discreet

83. professional, quiet, detailed, courteous, efficient job.

84. I won't let you down.

85. I'm actually going to spray poison

86. instead of walking around

87. going "sss."

88. So, anyway, uh, the rats have chewed

89. through the wires in our security cameras

90. and destroyed several hundred dollars worth of crackers.

91. Now, I don't want to alarm the customers

92. so we got to keep a low profile.

93. You won't know I'm here, Glide well

94. but the rats that drag their diseased bellies

95. across your merchandise will.

96. And now, the bait.

97. Hmm.

98. Rat poison lasagna or rat poison Salisbury steak?

99. Ah, heck, Hank's reputation is on the line.

100. I'm going to let this rat have it with both barrels.

101. Nothing!

102. What am I doing wrong?!

103. I don't get it!

104. Wait. I've encountered a bite pattern like that before

105. but where?

106. Here!

107. Now, where did I get that?

108. Hmm.

109. Possum, possum, manatee...

110. Aha! Of course.

111. Jungle Country Safari.

112. I'm not looking for a rat at all.

113. CHRIS: This is art, man.

114. I told you, we should totally build stage designs for Creed.

115. Hank, it's going better than I could possibly have expected.

116. Oh, good. Did you catch it already?

117. Not yet, but I'm on the trail.

118. Remember when you said you hoped I learned my lesson

119. from that run-in with the baboon?

120. Well, let's just say, "Lesson learned and applied."

121. Dude! Dude!

122. Oops. Uh...

123. have you noticed any baboons in the store lately?

124. From a distance, they may have looked

125. like a large, hairy customer with a bright red ass.

126. (grunts)

127. $39.99?!

128. That's weird.

129. I bought this CD for $4.99 at CD Express

130. and I thought it was outrageously overpriced

131. albeit quite pleasant to make love to.

132. Yeah, man, it's real strange.

133. Sometimes we see things

134. and, like, the prices are totally marked wrong

135. and I know I didn't do it, and I know he didn't do it.

136. Yeah, and sometimes in the morning

137. the Mangione standees are all facing a different direction

138. than they were the night before.

139. How do you figure that?

140. Hmm. You've added a piece to the puzzle.

141. Now, were the standees moved sloppily, as if by a monkey

142. or neatly, as if by a man?

143. Neatly.

144. As if by man.

145. (groaning)

146. Here's the deal, Glidewell.

147. This gig may be less

148. of a quote-unquote "extermination"

149. and more of a quote-unquote "murder."

150. Just tell me you can handle it.

151. Hank said you were the best.

152. Hank said that?

153. I mean, I knew he'd put in a good word for me

154. but..."the best"?

155. All right, I'll need to spend the night here

156. as my prey seems to be nocturnal in nature.

157. I don't know.

158. It's against company policy.

159. I guarantee success by morning

160. or Hank Hill is a braying jackass.

161. I really think

162. I did the right thing recommending Dale.

163. Hank, you are distracting my concentration.

164. I'm trying to teach Bobby

165. how to play Don't Spill the Beans.

166. (nasal tone): Out of beans!

167. That's six games in a row, Mom.

168. What? Now, that is impossible.

169. I've never lost anything six times in a row.

170. Bobby, open your mouth.

171. Ah...

172. (phone ringing)

173. Hill residence.

174. Dale, is that you?

175. Are you done?

176. It won't be long now.

177. I'm working through the night.

178. You're spending the night in the store?

179. Is the rat problem that bad?

180. Rat problem?

181. Oh, of course, you still think there's rats here.

182. Well, don't beat yourself up, Hank.

183. I did too until the evidence pointed to baboon.

184. Baboon?!

185. Dale, don't tell Glidewell there's a baboon.

186. It's not a baboon.

187. I know that.

188. I won't bore you with the details

189. but bottom line...

190. it's Chuck Mangione. What?!

191. And I'm going to flush him out tonight.

192. And Hank, Glidewell told me you said I was the best.

193. I nearly teared up right there in front of him.

194. No! No! No! No!

195. Don't worry, I didn't.

196. (groaning)

197. D-Dale, Dale?

198. You know, I have been thinking about it.

199. You never should have recommended Dale.

200. Dale's losing it at MegaloMart, Nancy.

201. We need some traps for the rats

202. and a tranquilizer gun for D... uh...

203. Also for the rats.

204. Hank, he has his whole self-esteem

205. tied up in killing things smaller than he is.

206. If y'all catch the rat, please put it in his pocket

207. so he thinks he caught it.

208. Here, everyone put on a jumpsuit.

209. If Glidewell shows up

210. we'll look like Dale's crew.

211. HANK: Now remember, find the rat

212. kill the rat, pat Dale on the back.

213. HANK: That's where the culottes are.

214. (yelling, grunting)

215. Quit... re... sis... ting!

216. Ha!

217. Hank?

218. Give me that!

219. What are you guys doing here?

220. And why are you wearing my backup jumpsuit?

221. And my backup's backups?

222. Hold on.

223. You're either here

224. to check up on me or goof on me.

225. Which "on me" is it?

226. You think I can't do the job?

227. We're just here 'cause... well, the truth is

228. we missed you in the alley

229. so we put on the jumpsuits to remind us of you

230. and next thing you know, here we are.

231. Well, wingo.

232. Grab a snack... aisle 12, and a chair... aisle 94.

233. But remember, I'm after big game here...

234. a breed known as Chuckus Mangionus.

235. 'Sgo.

236. (chuckling)

237. Dale's crazy.

238. (grunting)

239. Come out of there, you dang bean.

240. Aha! You little flapjack!

241. I knew it!

242. Nobody beats Peggy Hill six times in a row.

243. I can't breathe!

244. Dale, look, a hole.

245. Rat! Rat! There it is! Get it!

246. Oh, man, dang ol' there it is, man!

247. No, it's behind you. Dang ol' spray, man.

248. Come on, come on, right there.

249. Get it man, oh, don't...

250. Way to go, Dale, you... you captured the rat

251. just like a real exterminator!

252. Glidewell's gonna...

253. What the hell?! You had the rat!

254. Ah, that was one of the ones I released

255. to flush out Mangione.

256. His name is Keith.

257. What?! You're releasing rats in the store?!

258. My reputation is on the line!

259. Don't worry.

260. None of my five trained rats will be here

261. when Glidewell comes in.

262. The mongoose I let out will see to that.

263. Mongoose?

264. (sighs)

265. Okay. I tell you what, Dale.

266. You want to search for Chuck

267. you do it by yourself over there.

268. We'll search for, uh... Chuck, on our own over here.

269. Whatever you do, don't get captured.

270. I will not negotiate with Mangione.

271. (yawning)

272. Mmm...

273. (grunts)

274. Got... dang it!

275. Yeah, talking 'bout

276. unleash them hounds, man.

277. Crossbow armed.

278. And now for the bait.

279. (footsteps shuffling)

280. Bill?

281. Boomhauer?

282. Whoo-hoo. (giggles)

283. Yo, man. Hey, Hank?

284. Hey, man, stop that!

285. Hey, man!

286. (screaming)

287. (fearful grunt) It's got me!

288. Dang it, Boomhauer

289. you have one of these at home.

290. You're supposed to be working.

291. Got dang ol' Gribble's right, man!

292. That dang ol' Mangione comes in, turns switch, man.

293. Started to spin around like my head, man.

294. What are you talking about?

295. Man, I talking about that dang ol' Chuck Mangione, man.

296. I knew it! Yippee!

297. I knew he was here. I felt his presence.

298. Come on.

299. There's an easy explanation for this.

300. You spun yourself too hard, you got dizzy

301. and then you saw one of those stand-up displays of Chuck

302. that are everywhere.

303. Or Chuck himself.

304. BILL: Leave me alone!

305. (grunts)

306. What did Mangione do to you?

307. Nothing.

308. He was popping me with a wet towel!

309. It's the mongoose!

310. He's headed for my trip wires.

311. Hit the deck!

312. (Bill grunts)

313. Dale, stop it. Get up, you guys.

314. (frightened grunting)

315. Well, that's the calculated risk

316. you take when you release a mongoose.

317. That's it!

318. That is the last straw.

319. You've gone and turned a simple rat job

320. into one of your crazy conspiracies.

321. I'm sorry I ever lied to Glidewell for you, Dale.

322. Lied?

323. What are you saying?

324. I promised on my word that Glidewell

325. would have his rat problem taken care of.

326. So I'm going to call PestPro to make sure it's taken care of!

327. You... you wouldn't, Hank.

328. You've left me no choice.

329. Dang it!

330. The phone's dead.

331. BILL: Oh, God.

332. The doors are blocked.

333. Chuck don't want us to leave.

334. ("Feels So Good"playing)

335. Told you, Hank.

336. (Hank yells)

337. Look, Dale

338. I'll admit something bigger than a rat

339. must have moved those soda machines.

340. Now come on, help us push them away

341. so we can get out of here.

342. Yeah, that's exactly what Chuck wants you to do.

343. The first one to touch those machines

344. will be electrocuted.

345. Then, while the rest of you saps

346. are staring at a charred and twisted Bill

347. Chuck will pounce.

348. Dale, man... I don't want to die

349. twisted, painful...

350. Dale, help me out here.

351. What do you think we should do?

352. What are you asking me for?

353. I'm loony.

354. I'm going to go find me a Chuck.

355. And if you're lucky, when I check his stomach contents

356. there won't be pieces of you.

357. (sighs)

358. All right. If we're going to make it through tonight

359. think, think.

360. Okay, let's form a back-to-back triangle

361. so no one can sneak up on us.

362. This is good, this is good.

363. If we just keep our wits about us, everything will be fine.

364. (loud clanging)

365. (both screaming)

366. You were supposed to keep your wits about you.

367. (Hank yells)

368. Six beans.

369. (inhaling deeply)

370. Ah!

371. Why don't you go home

372. and get some sleep.

373. I believe it's your turn, nose boy.

374. Dale!

375. Boomhauer!

376. (yells)

377. (grunts)

378. (gasping): Ch-Chuck?

379. DALE: Gotcha

380. Mr. Adult Contemporary.

381. I did it!

382. I caught Chuck Mangione!

383. (yelps)

384. What in the hell?!

385. (sinister laughter)

386. (evil giggling)

387. Oh, you're just the kids from the music department.

388. (chuckling): He totally thought we were Chuck Mangione, bro!

389. We tooled you big time!

390. Oh, you are such a tool!

391. I blew it.

392. All my exterminator's instincts were wrong.

393. I'm not fit to live on this earth

394. let alone killthe things that live on this earth.

395. Oh, you know what we should do?

396. Dude, we should dress him up in ladies' lingerie

397. take him to the photo department

398. and make him sit on our laps!

399. Let's just shave his head like we planned.

400. (shrieking)

401. CHRIS (over P. A.): Come out, come out, wherever you are!

402. CORT: You can run, but you can't hide!

403. All right, now who are you?

404. Take off the mask and quit mocking me!

405. Ouch! Watch the lip, man.

406. (gasping): It's you!

407. It's... really you.

408. So I'm not crazy

409. but you are!

410. You let a mongoose out in the store.

411. You're living in a toilet paper fort.

412. Let's agree to disagree.

413. Chuck, I don't get it.

414. What are you doing here?

415. This is a long way from The Merv Griffin Show.

416. Ah, when I signed the contract to be the MegaloMart spokesman

417. I didn't read it carefully.

418. I have to be at every store opening

419. and they open 400 stores a year.

420. I haven't had time to record or tour

421. or give my old lady any slow, sweet loving in years.

422. So, I disappeared

423. to the last place they'd ever look for me.

424. I've been living here rent-free, eating their Cheerios

425. playing their video games and trying on their underpants.

426. Anything to stick it to the Man.

427. You chewed up the security camera wires?

428. It was necessary

429. so I could come and go as I pleased.

430. But what about the droppings?

431. There were droppings all over the place.

432. (sinister chuckling)

433. Make those Megalo chumps pick'em up!

434. They owe me!

435. Right on.

436. Keeping it real.

437. (Hank shrieking)

438. Sure sounds like your friends need you, Dale.

439. They do, Chuck.

440. Wait. Every aisle has a hollow passage

441. with openings at the discount flags.

442. Use it.

443. Look here, I don't know what you two are hopped up on

444. but it's going to wear off

445. and you're going to be very regretful about your actions.

446. (both yell)

447. (wailing): Okay, you win!

448. Can't breathe!

449. Gentlemen, the infestation is over.

450. Except for the mongoose

451. but I'm sure he's found a new home.

452. Thanks for the recommendation, Hank.

453. If I'd called PestPro

454. they would have just sprayed in here

455. and I'd have some parents of dead teens suing me.

456. Nice work, Gribble.

457. Yeah, "Nice work, Gribble."

458. (chuckling)

459. Chuck Mangione in the MegaloMart.

460. Yeah, man, that dang ol' Dale, man.

461. Chuck Mangione probably in Hollywood right now, man

462. probably sticking that ol' horn to Minnie Driver, man.

463. Yeah, my mistake.

464. Silly me.

465. Look, it might not have been Chuck Mangione

466. but he found the pests and took care of the problem.

467. Dale, I'd recommend you anytime.

468. Sorry I doubted you.

469. What was that?

470. Muzak.

471. Just... Muzak.

472. Whoo-hoo!

473. That's where the culottes are.