King of the Hill 6x8

Directed by Dominic Polcino

Alan Rickman as King Philip (voice) • David Herman as Ticket Taker (voice) • Andy Siegel as Oxcart-Driving Minstrel (voice) • Laura Dern as Serving Wench (voice)

Peggy leads a troupe of "wenches" to protest their unfair treatment at the Renaissance Faire, where Hank is trying to land a big-money propane account.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 6x8 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 6x8 [King of the Hill 6x8]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 6x8 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 6x8 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Enjoy that new Char King, Earl.

2. I got to say, I really appreciate your business.

3. Forget him, Hank. He's chump change.

4. I got a lead on a new client so big,

5. it'll put all my bastard sons through college.

6. The Renaissance fair's in town.

7. "Hear ye! Hear ye!"

8. With all due respect, sir,

9. do we really want propane mixed up in this sort of thing?

10. Last year, I would have said, "Hell, no!"

11. But it's a new normal, Hank.

12. You want a Christmas bonus this year,

13. you sell them leotards every gallon you can!

14. Who goes there?

15. Hank Hill, assistant manager, Strickland Propane.

16. I'm here to talk to, uh, Philip Motzinger.

17. Ah, you mean King Philip.

18. But begging your pardon,

19. you cannot pass in that horseless carriage

20. and manner of dress

21. for they do not exist

22. in our year 1590.

23. Why don't you cut the goofy talk and just open the gate?

24. Look, the Alamo Beer guy

25. was cool about it.

26. Prithee join me.

27. Just drive the cart.

28. King Philip, my liege.

29. I bring a merchant who wishes to display his wares.

30. Hank Hill, Strickland Propane.

31. Ah, so you are keeper of the flame.

32. Uh, assistant keeper of the flame.

33. Our kingdom is accepting bids

34. from members of your guild.

35. We require 1,000 stone a week

36. of your magic gas.

37. A stone is, in your native tongue, a gallon.

38. A thousand gallons a week?

39. What are you fellas doing with it?

40. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,

41. I tell you what.

42. Honest to God, he did it just like this.

43. It was crazy.

44. Men in the Renaissance period often shook wrist to wrist

45. to check for daggers,

46. and because they did not use toilet paper.

47. We got to go.

48. I haven't had a caramel apple in weeks.

49. I've never seen anything like it.

50. Everyone was dressed up and playing make-believe.

51. That part was asinine, but, boy, they got a dragon

52. that burns 1,000 gallons of propane a week.

53. Yep, you heard me.

54. A week.

55. If I can close this deal,

56. I can get us that second sink in the bathroom.

57. No more bumping heads when we brush.

58. That would be paradise.

59. But... But wait.

60. We agreed I am saving up for the sink with my notary fees.

61. Well, that should cover the sales tax.

62. - But, I'm... - Just don't leave your hair in it.

63. That's the only payment I need.

64. Okay, Luanne, since you're older,

65. I'm putting you in charge of the spending money.

66. Spend it any way you want

67. with three rules.

68. No tights, tassels or skirts on the boy.

69. - Uh... - Oh, and no bells.

70. - Oh. - Have fun.

71. Mm-mm.

72. It says right here one dollar discount

73. with period costume.

74. Well, I'm from the future and the future is a period,

75. ergo, this is a period costume.

76. Period!

77. Good morrow, all.

78. Hey, there, sire.

79. I'd like you to meet my, um...

80. lady.

81. Lady Peggy.

82. Delighted.

83. Well, nice to meet you, Phil.

84. - Hmm? - Now, I'm not a Renaissance expert,

85. but I did substitute teach Chapter Six in The World on Parade,

86. and let me tell you,

87. you have kept your historical inaccuracies to a minimum.

88. What inaccuracies dost thy mean?

89. Uh...

90. I think you meant, "dost thou mean."

91. And your British accent is really, really close.

92. Well, now that you've met my wife,

93. maybe I should meet your propane needs.

94. We should not discuss matters of trade

95. in the presence of the fairer sex.

96. Let's away!

97. Oh, yeah, sure.

98. Uh, Peggy, I'm going away with King Motzinger.

99. Why don't you away away?

100. And the "E" stands for economical.

101. Some people think the "E" stands for even-burning, but it doesn't.

102. So, do we have your business?

103. Hey, dude, it's the king.

104. We wage war on France on the morrow!

105. That is so gay.

106. Prince Thatherton of Thatherton Fuels was here last eve

107. pledging on his honor to undersell you by ten percent.

108. The difference between Strickland Propane

109. and Thatherton Fuels,

110. besides Thatherton's lack of focus,

111. is service.

112. I do demand proper service.

113. Then Strickland Propane is the place for you.

114. This is mead!

115. I said grog.

116. - I'm sorry. I... - Away!

117. A good wench is so hard to find.

118. You're fortunate. Yours seems sturdy.

119. If I had her in my employ,

120. it would solidify the bond between our two kingdoms.

121. Uh, Peggy is not an actual employee

122. at Strickland Propane.

123. But at Strickland Propane, our motto is,

124. "If you have a problem, tell us what it is and we will try to take care of it

125. as soon as we can."

126. Oh, wait, wait.

127. Have you already started?

128. Because I'm thinking of going back to "Number One Mom."

129. Hey, Peggy, guess who wants you to work in his kingdom?

130. The King.

131. How about that, huh?

132. Now you actually could help me get that sink.

133. Oh, I could, but will I?

134. Sure. We'll be a great team.

135. Side by side like our double sinks.

136. King Philip, sir?

137. How now, gas man?

138. Uh, pretty good, thanks.

139. Uh, my wife Peggy is ready to serve the kingdom.

140. I am a Renaissance woman.

141. This is a Renaissance Fair.

142. We are a perfect fit.

143. Delightful.

144. I've got just the hole for this peg.

145. Hear ye, hear ye!

146. By order of King Philip

147. for the crime of offering her own opinion,

148. this impudent wench has been sentenced

149. to one hour in the stocks.

150. Hoist your fruit, good men.

151. Oh.

152. Okay, Phil, where do I start?

153. King Philip sent us here about a job for my wife.

154. I'm not saying it has to be a good job,

155. but again, we were referred by the king.

156. All right, bear with me a sec.

157. This thing's so freaking slow.

158. I would make an excellent wandering minstrel.

159. If I can play guitar on the Stairmaster,

160. I certainly can do it while wandering.

161. Hmm, no. See, you're a woman.

162. Other than the yard-long margaritas,

163. we're pretty strict about historical accuracy.

164. We're pretty much looking at cleaning wench,

165. stable wench or butter-churning wench.

166. Are you sure you don't have any openings for a queen?

167. Warrior princess?

168. No. I can go over the wenches again.

169. Is cleaning wench the highest-ranking wench?

170. Highest?

171. Oh, uh...

172. Yes.

173. When a tour comes by,

174. clean the rug by beating the dirt out of it.

175. When the tour leaves,

176. dirty the rug by sprinkling dirt on it.

177. Well, as back-to-back-to-back substitute teacher of the year,

178. I may look far too intelligent to be a cleaning wench.

179. I just hope people buy it.

180. Whoo.

181. I am sweating like a horse here.

182. Well, what happened to you?

183. I was punished for my sloth

184. and impertinence.

185. Why are you talking like that?

186. Honey, you don't want the king

187. to catch you breaking character.

188. Once, he put me on stable duty for humming an Elvis song.

189. Follow me, fair visitors.

190. To our tasks, everyone! Villagers approach!

191. I hope you enjoyed the stable and the sty.

192. We now move on to some more comely beasts of burden,

193. the wenches.

194. Good morrow, everyone.

195. I am beating a rug.

196. A very important job

197. - for castles were oft drafty and... - Wench!

198. Whom addressed thee?

199. I addressed myself.

200. Since there was no such thing

201. as a vacuum cleaner in the Middle Ages...

202. What speak you of "vacuum cleaner"?

203. Peggy, hold thine tongue.

204. Oh, oh, oh. Right, right, right.

205. In the future, they will invent a magical sucking device

206. to free women from household drudgery.

207. If thou can foretell the future,

208. perhaps thou art a witch.

209. She is no a witch, milord,

210. merely tetched in the head from the sun.

211. She's a witch.

212. - Witch! - Witch!

213. - Witch! - Witch!

214. How now?

215. Is there unrest in my kingdom?

216. She's a witch!

217. Well, I guess if they burn you at the stake,

218. they'll be using my propane.

219. You'll find it burns witches cleanly and evenly

220. and at a fraction of the cost of natural gas.

221. You know, this cleaning wench thing

222. isn't really doing it for me.

223. If her arms worked as hard as her serpent's tongue,

224. there would be nary a speck of dust in the kingdom.

225. This is not what nature intended for my implants.

226. That fat Merlin finished all the chicken wings.

227. Why do the wenches always get the last lunch break?

228. Because Philip is an ass.

229. Speaking of which,

230. he grabbed mine again this morning.

231. But he's your boss. That is sexual harassment.

232. Well, King Philip says

233. that's all just "tomfoolery."

234. You know, it's okay to humiliate me

235. when I'm Becky the butter-churner,

236. but not when I'm Becky the person.

237. Oh, by the way, my name's Becky.

238. Peggy Hill, rug wench.

239. Maybe he just doesn't have good people skills.

240. You know, sometimes I don't.

241. See Brandon over there.

242. He started here a year ago.

243. Makes twice as much as me.

244. You know what?

245. As the highest-ranking wench,

246. maybe I should talk to the king.

247. It is time we rewrote history.

248. Hey, Philip, you got a second?

249. Ugh.

250. Mr. Motzinger.

251. King Philip?

252. Oh, I'm sorry.

253. I was just counting my treasure from the Americas.

254. What is the reason for this interruption?

255. One of the girls got out her laptop

256. and we went on some labor websites.

257. "Laptop"?

258. Oh, come on, this is serious.

259. You have women working more than 40 hours a week

260. without overtime.

261. There is no sanitary napkin dispenser in the ladies' port-a-john,

262. and are you familiar

263. with the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993?

264. How could I be? It is but 1590.

265. Why don't you drop the act and you explain to me

266. why the wenches make 70 cents on the dollar

267. and the village idiot gets full dental?

268. You are but a woman

269. and I have given you enough of my time.

270. Begone.

271. Ugh. Goddang it!

272. That's my third pair of these goddang tights today.

273. At least you get to wear tights.

274. These are my work stockings.

275. How do you ladies put up with this?

276. Well, we put up with a lot more than that, Hank.

277. Just now when I was complaining to King Philip...

278. Whoa, whoa. Complaining? No.

279. The customer complains, not the gas merchant's wench.

280. You're going to skunk the deal.

281. But I just...

282. Look, if the king gives you a hard time,

283. come see me and I'll handle it.

284. Whatever you do, don't open your mouth.

285. I can fight my own battles.

286. Uh-uh-uh. Mouth.

287. If King Philip isn't ready for the Age of Reason,

288. we will dust off a Dark Ages classic,

289. the peasant revolt.

290. Everyone, grab a tomato.

291. Are you crazy? You'll get us all fired.

292. He can't fire all of us.

293. Who would do the laundry, huh?

294. The blacksmith?

295. He's filthy.

296. This fair will grind to a halt

297. and Philip will be forced to meet our demands.

298. Look, I can't take any chances.

299. I have a daughter and she needs a prom dress,

300. and it has to be the one from the magazine

301. or all the other girls will make fun of her.

302. Aren't you willing to risk this demeaning job today

303. to give your daughter a brighter tomorrow?

304. Or whenever her prom is?

305. Hear ye, hear ye.

306. All rise for the royal procession.

307. I hand you tomatoes of freedom.

308. - Yeah! - Give me a firm one!

309. What a fine day for a fair...

310. it is.

311. Welcome to my kingdom!

312. It's now or never.

313. Now!

314. Come on, throw!

315. I'm sorry.

316. The one-wench rebellion of 1590 has been quashed!

317. Peggy?

318. I'm sorry, Hank.

319. I guess everyone here likes things the way they are.

320. I'll go back to beating the rug now.

321. I wonder, madam

322. if I can expect the same impertinence

323. from your husband's propanery

324. that I have come to expect from you.

325. Please. Hank had nothing to do with this.

326. Guards! Seize this wench and take her to the stocks!

327. What are you doing? Take your hands off her.

328. No, no, it's okay, Hank.

329. I'm not here.

330. I'm in our bathroom, over my own sink,

331. and I'm flossing, Hank.

332. I'm flossing...

333. Ooh. My turn.

334. Okay, that's it. Show's over.

335. Hank, stop. You'll lose the account.

336. Listen to your shrew.

337. In her nagging, there is wisdom.

338. Dang it, there are more important things than a sale.

339. You...

340. Take off that crown. I'm kicking your ass.

341. Oh? You demand satisfaction? Fine.

342. Then we shall joust by day's end!

343. Say huh?

344. If you are able to tilt me off my steed,

345. then I will apologize to you and yon hag

346. and purchase your gas.

347. But if I should send thou tumbling to the dirt,

348. then you and your gas

349. will be banished from the kingdom,

350. but not before your "wif"

351. cleans the man sweat from my blouse.

352. Fine. You are in for the joust of your life, mister.

353. Yep. The joust of your life.

354. Yep.

355. Yep.

356. Mm-hm.

357. Bleep.

358. Yeah, you're going to get killed, Hank.

359. I'd offer to help, but the prime directive forbids me

360. from altering the course of history.

361. If I do, you will win, but the universe will lose

362. and who wants that, besides you?

363. No chump in a velvet costume

364. is ever kicking my ass.

365. Hank, I don't need to tell you how important this joust is, do I?

366. Of course not.

367. My wife's honor is at stake.

368. Yes, I do.

369. Hank, I already made my "in your face" call to Thatherton.

370. Don't muck this up!

371. And if Hank hadn't been there to defend me, I...

372. I might still be in the stocks.

373. And towards the end there, they were throwing potatoes,

374. which I had to tell them was more historically accurate.

375. My mouth.

376. What do you think's going to happen after the joust?

377. You know, when Hank is killed.

378. With Peggy?

379. In the Middle Ages, there was an orderly procedure

380. for the dispensation of the wife

381. unlike in today's gynocracy.

382. Ownership goes from the son

383. to the dog to the best friend.

384. Bobby's too young, Ladybird's too old,

385. I already own a wife,

386. Boomhauer doesn't have the time,

387. so, Bill, this could be your in.

388. Don't worry, Peggy.

389. I'll take care of you.

390. That is as unnecessary as it is repulsive.

391. Peggy Hill can take care of herself.

392. Oh, boy.

393. You're going to have your hands full with this one, Bill.

394. Next item, Hank's lawnmower.

395. Yo, man, I have dibs on it.

396. Oh, you're all a bunch of morons!

397. Uh, I think you should know

398. I've never jousted before.

399. Or ridden a horse.

400. He'll do most of the work.

401. Now, if he bucks you,

402. make sure to cover your neck and your testicles.

403. The joust is commencing!

404. The joust is commencing!

405. Go, Hank!

406. Go, Dad!

407. - Bobby! - Oh.

408. - Hyah!

409. Whoa.

410. Tell me, peasant.

411. How does it feel to have lost the joust your wench's honor

412. and the propane account in one mighty thrust of my lance?

413. It's a bitter taste, I'm sure,

414. and you shall savor it

415. for seven score fortnights anon!

416. Huh?

417. Hey, King Make-Believe!

418. You just got beat by a girl.

419. All right, Mom!

420. Help me to my feet, you gaggle of magpies.

421. What hand you me?

422. It's a lawsuit, honey.

423. "Department of Labor...

424. OSHA...

425. Texas Workforce Commission"?

426. Crap, I'm going to lose my fair.

427. I don't want to go back to selling real estate.

428. We did it, Peggy.

429. Well, I just wish I'd been born 500 years ago.

430. I could have single-handedly saved womankind forever.

431. I helped too, you know.

432. Yes, Hank. Everybody helped.

433. Just try not to fall off the horse this time.

434. The prime directive has been breached.

435. Women's liberation has happened too soon.

436. I must warn the future!

437. Take me with you!

438. I hate it here.

439. How now, gas man?