1. And a notch up from
the Vogner Char King SuperioreCopy !req
2. is the Char King Imperiale.Copy !req
3. Vogner's a fantastic company.Copy !req
4. They're based right over in El Paso
so they've got American ingenuityCopy !req
5. and Texas craftsmanship built right in...Copy !req
6. Yeah, yeah, I know. I bought
an Imperiale here eight years ago.Copy !req
7. I think you were the guy
that sold it to me.Copy !req
8. Heh, well, I've been preaching
the word of Vogner for the past 20 years.Copy !req
9. All the faces kind of blend together.Copy !req
10. Shug, sorry to bother you at workCopy !req
11. but I got a little propane crisis.Copy !req
12. I'll be right back.Copy !req
13. What do you need, new tank?Copy !req
14. Tank checked? Tank wiped?Copy !req
15. I bought a hot tub but right now
it's all tub and no hot.Copy !req
16. Can you rig up some propane thingamajiggy?Copy !req
17. A hot tub? Uh...Copy !req
18. Well, you see, Nancy,
propane is a family gas.Copy !req
19. I've never approved of it being used
to promote alternative lifestyles.Copy !req
20. Oh, Hank, please.Copy !req
21. It's my anniversary present to Dale.Copy !req
22. Couldn't you just send it on back
to California for servicing.Copy !req
23. I want to surprise him with it tonight.Copy !req
24. It's our first anniversary since I...Copy !req
25. um... well, you know,Copy !req
26. stopped cheating on him with John Redcorn.Copy !req
27. I suppose I could take a look.Copy !req
28. Maybe I can adapt the unit we useCopy !req
29. to heat the water over
at the pig-scalding plant.Copy !req
30. I mean, it is your anniversary.Copy !req
31. I've got to tell you, Nancy.Copy !req
32. I've never done this before.
It's all so weird.Copy !req
33. The bonnet valves are bolted, not screwed.Copy !req
34. The regulators are back-mounted.Copy !req
35. If I... if I could... just...Copy !req
36. get it to...Copy !req
37. work...Copy !req
38. Yes! Yes, I did it!Copy !req
39. Let me slip into the driver's seat
and give this baby a test run.Copy !req
40. What you're going to want
to go ahead and doCopy !req
41. is submerge your entire... self.Copy !req
42. That way, you can accurately measure
the evenness of the heat.Copy !req
43. Mm, mm, mm.Copy !req
44. I am pudding.Copy !req
45. Hank, you're amazing.Copy !req
46. Oh, well, heh-heh, yeah... you know.Copy !req
47. Damn it!Copy !req
48. Dale's home.Copy !req
49. Happy anniversary.Copy !req
50. Thank you for choosing Strickland Propane.Copy !req
51. Happy anniversary, shug!Copy !req
52. Wingo! A love tub!Copy !req
53. There goes your present.Copy !req
54. Believe me when I tell youCopy !req
55. that was the wildest water heater repair
I've done in my entire life.Copy !req
56. Hank, you know what that can-do
attitude of yours does to me.Copy !req
57. It is Tuesday night.Copy !req
58. Sorry, Peggy.Copy !req
59. My mind's somewhere else...Copy !req
60. in a steaming tub
of propane powered relaxation.Copy !req
61. Good idea, Hank.Copy !req
62. Save it up for tomorrow.Copy !req
63. We will be explosive.Copy !req
64. Uh, how do you like your burger?Copy !req
65. Medium or medium rare?Copy !req
66. Medium, shug.Copy !req
67. Okay, then.Copy !req
68. Mmm, oh... yeah.Copy !req
69. Mm, you make a delicious burger, shug.Copy !req
70. Thanks. But the Char King
does most of the work.Copy !req
71. Mm, mm...Copy !req
72. And, Bobby,
what would you like for breakfast?Copy !req
73. I don't care. Anything.Copy !req
74. No fruit!Copy !req
75. Here are your eggs, Hank.Copy !req
76. I cannot legally call it a McMuffinCopy !req
77. but you will never know the difference.Copy !req
78. You know,
I had the craziest dream last night.Copy !req
79. Oh, my God, me too.Copy !req
80. Who did you murder?Copy !req
81. Nobody. It was a good dream.Copy !req
82. A great dream. Wish I could remember it.Copy !req
83. It seemed really important.
Dang, what was it?Copy !req
84. Wait, wait, I was grilling.Copy !req
85. Yeah, I was grilling burgers.Copy !req
86. We've heard this one, Dad.Copy !req
87. No, it wasn't the giant burgers.Copy !req
88. There was more.Copy !req
89. I was in the backyard,
and I was feeling really good.Copy !req
90. Uh... Bobby,Copy !req
91. why don't you take
my breakfast egg sandwichCopy !req
92. and eat it in your room.Copy !req
93. In case you change your mind.Copy !req
94. Peggy, you're not going to believe this.Copy !req
95. I was naked.Copy !req
96. I was grilling burgers naked.Copy !req
97. How do you like that?Copy !req
98. And then when the burger was just rightCopy !req
99. I slid it on a kaiser rollCopy !req
100. and I fed it to...Copy !req
101. Uh...Copy !req
102. Fed it to me, yeah, yeah,
and then what did I do?Copy !req
103. Uh, you ate it,
and you said it tasted good.Copy !req
104. Oh.Copy !req
105. - Principal Moss.
- Huh?Copy !req
106. I murdered Principal Moss, Hank.Copy !req
107. But then instead of making me
the new principal,Copy !req
108. they appointed me queen
of the school district.Copy !req
109. I had an emerald crown.Copy !req
110. - Hey, John Redcorn.
- Hank.Copy !req
111. Uh, yeah, John Redcorn
I had a dream last night.Copy !req
112. - You got a minute?
- Come in.Copy !req
113. I'll brew some chamomile tea.Copy !req
114. And the woman in my dream,Copy !req
115. the one without the clothing
was not my wife.Copy !req
116. And needless to say,
that is not a dream I intended to have.Copy !req
117. My people believe that dreams
are the unconscious mindCopy !req
118. trying to solve a problem
that the conscious mind cannot.Copy !req
119. Is there anything unusual
going on with you?Copy !req
120. Nope. Everything's the same
as it's always beenCopy !req
121. for as long as I can remember.Copy !req
122. Yup. Same ol' same ol'.Copy !req
123. Is it possible
that after 20 years of marriageCopy !req
124. you're a little tired of your wife?Copy !req
125. What? That's crazy.Copy !req
126. Our romantic life is as good
as the day we were married.Copy !req
127. It hasn't changed a bit.Copy !req
128. Yup, we've got a great routine.Copy !req
129. If I were bored of PeggyCopy !req
130. I'd be having dreams
in which I was bored of Peggy.Copy !req
131. Not grilling naked
with the neighbor's wife.Copy !req
132. Minh.Copy !req
133. Uh... no.Copy !req
134. It's Nancy?Copy !req
135. My Nancy?Copy !req
136. You're having dirty dreams
about my sweet Nan Nan!Copy !req
137. Say, is that a new suede vest?Copy !req
138. Nancy used to like it
when I kept the vest on during sex.Copy !req
139. - Do you want it?
- Oh, God.Copy !req
140. - Here, take it. Take it all!Copy !req
141. Hank, get on your swim trunks.Copy !req
142. We are going hot tubbing at the Gribble's.Copy !req
143. Oh, here.
I have an extra nose-clip for you.Copy !req
144. Oh, uh... hi, Nancy.Copy !req
145. I just wanted to thank you
for your help, shug.Copy !req
146. Dale loved the gift.Copy !req
147. Yeah, uh, uh... yeah, that's nice,Copy !req
148. but I'm kind of not in the mood
for hot tubbing tonight.Copy !req
149. Not in the mood?Copy !req
150. Hank, I cannot get out of it.Copy !req
151. I already invited us. It would be rude.Copy !req
152. Sorry, shugs,
but I don't know where Dale went off to.Copy !req
153. He might be in the basement
but I don't like going down there.Copy !req
154. Oh, uh, hey, Nancy.Copy !req
155. I see you've got some cheese there.Copy !req
156. It's just American singles,
but I cut them into little squares.Copy !req
157. Uh, I hate to play the narrow urethra cardCopy !req
158. but I'm not going to be able
to stay in here too long.Copy !req
159. Mm.Copy !req
160. Don't you think this is exactly
what Paris is like?Copy !req
161. Ahh.Copy !req
162. Feel that heat.Copy !req
163. Yup, 102 degrees.Copy !req
164. I had a fever of 102 once.Copy !req
165. Took some aspirin, went right down.Copy !req
166. Speaking of hot,Copy !req
167. Hank had quite a spicy dream last night.Copy !req
168. - Peggy!
- Oh, lighten up...Copy !req
169. we're hot tubbing, have some cheese.Copy !req
170. Hank dreamt that he and I
were grilling naked in the backyard.Copy !req
171. Isn't that the sexiest thing
you've ever heard?Copy !req
172. No one makes cheese like the Americans,
I tell you what.Copy !req
173. Nancy, get out of the tub!Copy !req
174. Electric toaster!Copy !req
175. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
176. I know all about your naked dream
with my wife.Copy !req
177. - What?
- That's right.Copy !req
178. John Redcorn told me everything.Copy !req
179. He's a true friend, unlike you.Copy !req
180. Wait, you, me, and Nancy were naked?Copy !req
181. You? There wasn't room for you
in Hank's kinky little dream world.Copy !req
182. Are you sure it wasn't me
wearing a Nancy mask?Copy !req
183. I'm sorry.Copy !req
184. Hank, stay right there.Copy !req
185. I need to borrow your extension cord.Copy !req
186. Hank, I ask you this not as a jealous wife
but as a curious educator...Copy !req
187. are you attracted to Nancy?Copy !req
188. Absolutely not.Copy !req
189. You know I don't go for those...
sexy types.Copy !req
190. It was just the one dream,Copy !req
191. and the only reason I didn't tell you
the truth is becauseCopy !req
192. you know, I'm not comfortable
talking about this kind of stuff.Copy !req
193. You told John Redcorn,Copy !req
194. and you know he is a terrible gossip.Copy !req
195. You are 100 percent right about that.Copy !req
196. Telling John Redcorn was a mistake.Copy !req
197. Now, why don't we put all this behind us?Copy !req
198. Maybe we can do what I was
too distracted to do last night.Copy !req
199. Sorry, Hank. Now you'll know
what it feels like to be kept waiting.Copy !req
200. Remember the six weeks
after Bobby was born?Copy !req
201. You bet you do.Copy !req
202. Ow.Copy !req
203. - Medium, right?
- Yes, please.Copy !req
204. Medium it is.Copy !req
205. Mmm... oh.Copy !req
206. That hamburger exceeds
all USDA requirements.Copy !req
207. Hank, what is it?Copy !req
208. Were you having another sex nightmare?Copy !req
209. Uh, no, no. I heard Ladybird whimpering.Copy !req
210. You know how that toilet water
goes right through her.Copy !req
211. Come on, girl.Copy !req
212. I stayed up with you
when you had nightmares.Copy !req
213. Oh, it's just one dream.Copy !req
214. I wouldn't let it get to you.Copy !req
215. Oh, I yelled at Hank last night,Copy !req
216. and now he's been walking Ladybird
for six hours.Copy !req
217. Shug, just apologize.Copy !req
218. Oh, and Dale didn't want me
to say anything,Copy !req
219. but have Hank check
under his lawnmower before he starts it.Copy !req
220. Who's a good girl
and finally made for Daddy?Copy !req
221. Hank, I would like to apologize,
so I will.Copy !req
222. Words were exchanged
and I may have gotten the better of you.Copy !req
223. I am sorry.Copy !req
224. One silly dream
is not worth fighting over.Copy !req
225. Yes, that sure was silly, that one dream.Copy !req
226. Of course you're attracted to me.Copy !req
227. So, to show you both my forgiveness
and my generosityCopy !req
228. I think we should go back to bed...
and make up.Copy !req
229. Okay, then.Copy !req
230. That was real nice, Peggy.Copy !req
231. I knew it would be.Copy !req
232. Hey, you want to split a beer?Copy !req
233. Just like our first time?Copy !req
234. You are so romantic.Copy !req
235. Hello?Copy !req
236. It's time to grill, shug.Copy !req
237. - Nancy?
Hank!Copy !req
238. Wha... Peggy?Copy !req
239. That's right, Peggy.Copy !req
240. You fell asleep while we were making
sweet loveCopy !req
241. and you dreamt about her? Again?Copy !req
242. Peggy, believe me,
if I could go back in timeCopy !req
243. and stay awake during... relations,
I would.Copy !req
244. But you can't,
because you are bored of me!Copy !req
245. No! No, no, I assure youCopy !req
246. I could do the same old stuff
with you forever.Copy !req
247. You know how much I like the fundamentals.Copy !req
248. I am not threatened by you!Copy !req
249. Oh, Shug.Copy !req
250. Don't you "Shug" me!Copy !req
251. How could you try to steal my Hank?Copy !req
252. Is there no end to your insecurity, huh?Copy !req
253. Oh, Nancy.Copy !req
254. Hank had the dream again.
He's bored of me.Copy !req
255. Oh, Shug.Copy !req
256. Tell me, how do you and Dale keep
the sauce simmering in your marriage?Copy !req
257. And do not say "communicate"Copy !req
258. because there are some things
Hank just will not do.Copy !req
259. I was lucky. Me and Dale took
a 14-year intimacy breakCopy !req
260. while I saw John Redcorn for migraines.Copy !req
261. So now it's back like
when we were first dating.Copy !req
262. Yeah, but I can't take a 14-year break.Copy !req
263. They'll...
they'll have sex robots by then,Copy !req
264. and Hank won't need me!Copy !req
265. He's not bored of you, Peggy.Copy !req
266. He's just bored of the things that you do.Copy !req
267. Have you thought about maybe doing
something a little... kinky?Copy !req
268. Well, I guess I could wear
my old high school marching band uniform.Copy !req
269. It's a start.Copy !req
270. Well, it's my old pal, Hank,
or should I say...Copy !req
271. you jerk?Copy !req
272. - Dale...
- No!Copy !req
273. The time for talk is over.Copy !req
274. Prepare to be annihilated
by a lethal combinationCopy !req
275. of martial Tai Chi, Ba Gua, and Krav Maga.Copy !req
276. Sh-sh-sh-sha!Copy !req
277. Now grab my arm... one hand on my wristCopy !req
278. and one hand on my elbow...Copy !req
279. And it's got to be right on the elbow
or it won't work.Copy !req
280. Trust me, getting your ass kickedCopy !req
281. isn't going to make you feel any better.Copy !req
282. One hand on my elbow!Copy !req
283. Now, let's just all settle down here.Copy !req
284. Which one of us hasn't had
an innocent sex dreamCopy !req
285. about a friend's wife?Copy !req
286. You're right.Copy !req
287. Hank, you're my best friend.Copy !req
288. I know you wouldn't bed my wife.Copy !req
289. Now, please,
take my hand and my elbow in apology.Copy !req
290. Hello?Copy !req
291. Peggy? What are you doing?Copy !req
292. Making your dreams come true.Copy !req
293. Now, let's get naked!Copy !req
294. Peggy, what are you doing? You're naked.Copy !req
295. And that was my second best work shirt.Copy !req
296. Come on, Hank.Copy !req
297. Pick up those tongs
and take off those pants.Copy !req
298. I am not going to grill without clothes.Copy !req
299. Maybe without an apron.Copy !req
300. That's as far as I'll go.Copy !req
301. You did it with Nancy,
but you won't do it with me?Copy !req
302. That was a dream,Copy !req
303. and I didn't even want to do it then.Copy !req
304. Hold on a second.
I think I hear something in the bushes.Copy !req
305. Hank, you are just stalling.Copy !req
306. I am not stalling, I am stopping.Copy !req
307. There's someone in that bush.Copy !req
308. - Hey, you!
- It is your imaginationCopy !req
309. which got us into this mess
in the first place.Copy !req
310. Do you want these dreams to end or not?Copy !req
311. God dang it, Bill!Copy !req
312. I'm leaving.Copy !req
313. I'm not exposing myself in public.Copy !req
314. That's illegal.Copy !req
315. The press would have a field day.Copy !req
316. You know how they're always trying
to take propane down a notch.Copy !req
317. Fine. We will rent a skating rink.Copy !req
318. Or, wait... how about Paradise Cove?Copy !req
319. We can't go to a nude beach.Copy !req
320. I don't even like looking
at pictures of naked people.Copy !req
321. Then we will go at the break of dawn.Copy !req
322. Can I at least think about it?Copy !req
323. Think about it?Copy !req
324. You have to think
about saving our marriage?Copy !req
325. Okay.Copy !req
326. Can I wear oven mitts?Copy !req
327. Were they in the dream?Copy !req
328. - No.
- Then no.Copy !req
329. Yeah, sure, at the 7-Eleven
you have to wear shoes and a shirtCopy !req
330. but here in paradise,
hey, let's all get nude.Copy !req
331. Are you sure this is the only way?Copy !req
332. I mean, couldn't we try...Copy !req
333. uh... counseling?Copy !req
334. I did not know if your dream involved
Bermuda or Vidalia onionsCopy !req
335. so I brought both.Copy !req
336. Vidalia.Copy !req
337. Okay, I'm lighting the grill.Copy !req
338. Now the robe.Copy !req
339. My hand is on the sash.Copy !req
340. Pulling the sash.Copy !req
341. My torso is exposed.Copy !req
342. Oh.Copy !req
343. Slow motion.Copy !req
344. So sexy.Copy !req
345. Now, fast forward.Copy !req
346. So, this is what it's like
being naked outside.Copy !req
347. I don't like it.Copy !req
348. That is because your fantasy
is not complete.Copy !req
349. Here are the burgers.Copy !req
350. Well, let's cook them quick.Copy !req
351. Normally, I wouldn't press the burgersCopy !req
352. but these are extenuating circumstances.Copy !req
353. So, how do you feel?Copy !req
354. Hold on, I better turn these.Copy !req
355. They're searing well.Copy !req
356. You know, I've got to say...Copy !req
357. this is pretty wild.Copy !req
358. I told you I smelled barbecue.Copy !req
359. Oh, God.Copy !req
360. Hamburgers at 7:00 a.m.?Copy !req
361. Someone's got the munchies.Copy !req
362. We are not hungry.
We are saving our marriage.Copy !req
363. - Why are you here?
- We were over at the volleyball pitCopy !req
364. and she's all, like,
"Someone's grilling meat."Copy !req
365. Why does your barbecue smell
so much better than when we barbecue?Copy !req
366. Well, uh,
you're probably grilling with charcoalCopy !req
367. so chances are you're smelling
the coals or the lighter fluid.Copy !req
368. This is a propane grill
so you're smelling the meat, not the heat.Copy !req
369. Sounds like you do a lot of grilling.Copy !req
370. What's with the tan lines?Copy !req
371. Well, uh, this is my first time here,Copy !req
372. but I've been in the grill game
for 20 years.Copy !req
373. Hank Hill, assistant manager
Strickland Propane.Copy !req
374. - Mandy.
- Becky.Copy !req
375. Peggy Hill.Copy !req
376. Hank, why don't we go somewhere
more private?Copy !req
377. You certainly can't live out your fantasyCopy !req
378. with all these naked women around.Copy !req
379. Peggy, I'm kind of busy right now.Copy !req
380. This here's the Vogner Char King.Copy !req
381. Vogner's a fantastic company.Copy !req
382. They're based out of El Paso,
so you've got American ingenuityCopy !req
383. and Texas craftsmanship built right in.Copy !req
384. At the age of six, Charles Emerson Vogner
built his first grillCopy !req
385. out of chain link fence
and an old washtub.Copy !req
386. Later, dude.
Bye, Mandy. Bye, Becky.Copy !req
387. Call me when you get back from Tucson.Copy !req
388. Your burger's ready.Copy !req
389. - What?Copy !req
390. You wanted medium, right?Copy !req
391. I, I could throw it back on.Copy !req
392. You don't want me anymore.Copy !req
393. You want other women.Copy !req
394. Younger, equally pretty women.Copy !req
395. Women? What, those customers?Copy !req
396. They're talking about converting
their houseboat to propane.Copy !req
397. Isn't that wild?Copy !req
398. We're talking heating, refrigeration,Copy !req
399. dual outboard motors...Copy !req
400. Oh!Copy !req
401. Wait.Copy !req
402. Are you turned on by the propane?Copy !req
403. You bet I am.Copy !req
404. Think of all the things it can do.Copy !req
405. Nude grilling, hot tubs,
hippie houseboats...Copy !req
406. Oh, my God.Copy !req
407. Those dreams weren't about you and Nancy.Copy !req
408. They were about you and the grill!Copy !req
409. You weren't bored of me, Hank.Copy !req
410. You were bored of propane.Copy !req
411. Of course!Copy !req
412. I'd fallen into a rut...Copy !req
413. grills, tanks, grills, tanks.Copy !req
414. You see, I'd always thought of propane
as a dignified lady.Copy !req
415. But she's not just clean-burning.Copy !req
416. She can also be a dirty girl.Copy !req
417. Oh! That means I don't have to be.Copy !req
418. Now, what do you say
we put on some clothesCopy !req
419. go home, take them off, and have a little
of the same ol' same ol'?Copy !req
420. Oh, Hank.Copy !req
421. Mm. Yeah.Copy !req
422. No one makes cheese
like the Americans.Copy !req