1. Okay, I have narrowed it down
to one movie.
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2. We are seeing "The Flowers of Time."
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3. Rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture
Association of America
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4. and PG-12 by Peggy Hill.
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5. When I agreed to see a movie today,
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6. I assumed it was understood that I meant
"not a ladies' picture."
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7. Hank, just because it takes place
on a rose farm
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8. does not mean it's a ladies' picture.
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9. Doesn't help.
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10. Dang it.
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11. She's been giving me trouble all week.
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12. First it was the distributor components.
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13. Then I had to tweak
the carburetor's fuel/air mixture.
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14. Oh, for God's sake.
Just take it to a mechanic.
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15. Another man touching her all over,
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16. playing with her manifolds?
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17. And then making Hank pay for it?
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18. Don't tell me...
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19. Peggy, this truck has been
through four presidents,
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20. three Cowboys Super Bowl victories,
and zero mechanics.
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21. Huh.
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22. Ah, there she goes.
All right, everyone in, quick!
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23. To The Flowers of Time!
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24. Five dollars a ton if you feed it to pigs.
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25. And it's the exact same corn.
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26. And they said nobody beats
the claw machine.
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27. Ah, that's great, son.
Now, give it to Connie.
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28. No, she won it for me.
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29. This is Charlton Heston and Ethan Hawke's
third movie together.
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30. The first two went straight to video.
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31. Dale and I are the only guys here.
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32. No, no, there are two gentlemen
right over there.
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33. The ones with the mustaches.
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34. Oh, Hank, now look. That is a pillow sham.
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35. The only thing keeping you alive
is the pressure of the tractor.
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36. Son, I never really got around
to saying a lot of things.
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37. For being 106,
that man has a magnificent head of hair.
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38. Shush, sug.
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39. This movie is good enough
to have been based on a novel. Hank?
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40. I won't make it to harvest this year, son.
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41. Yes, you will. You have to.
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42. I'm so proud of you, Nathaniel.
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43. You are my... rose.
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44. Hank, are you crying?
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45. Nope, just watching the movie.
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46. Hank, you're scaring me.
What the hell is going on?
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47. I'm okay.
Please continue to look at the screen.
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48. Hank Hill is weeping
like a little French girl.
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49. Come see what Channel 84 calls
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50. "A fragrant bouquet of human emotions."
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51. Oh, Hank. Come on, there's no reason
to be ashamed about your crying.
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52. But yet, I am.
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53. I wasn't crying.
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54. Coming from the heat of outdoors
and then into the air-conditioned theater
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55. is naturally going to cause
some condensation.
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56. Now I am not a professional psychologist,
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57. but I am an amateur psychologist.
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58. And I think that
this spontaneous eye-watering
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59. may have something to do with your father.
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60. Nope, it has nothing to do with anything.
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61. Well, think about it. You have
a strained relationship with your dad.
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62. And your greatest fear is that he will die
without telling you how much he loves you.
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63. You are Ethan Hawke, Hank.
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64. That's just crazy talk.
Our relationship is strained, but fine.
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65. Wait, I don't know why I didn't see this.
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66. You're right. You are not Ethan Hawke.
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67. You are Charlton Heston.
Bobby is Ethan Hawke.
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68. Yes! Done!
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69. No, no, it is not done.
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70. You and Bobby are very distant emotionally
and quite distant physically.
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71. And you know that
if you were ever pinned under a tractor,
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72. Bobby wouldn't be able to lift it.
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73. And you wouldn't be able
to tell him that you love him.
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74. That, Hank, that is why you were crying.
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75. No, there is something wrong with my eyes.
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76. Something seriously wrong.
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77. - Yep, that's it. Good night.
- Oh, okay.
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78. So now you're the amateur doctor.
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79. Interesting.
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80. Bill, knock-knock.
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81. - Who's there?
- Boo.
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82. - Boo who?
- Boo-hoo, Hank!
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83. Man, that is a good one, man.
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84. Man, I got another one.
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85. Man, what you call the difference
between an old man
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86. and a little squirt gun, man?
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87. What?
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88. Hank.
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89. So I forgot how long the straw was
and it caught me in the eye.
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90. That was Sprite running down my cheek,
not tears.
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91. Okay.
Let's go, Hank.
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92. We have a 2 o'clock
with an optician at the mall.
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93. He's not a doctor. But there is nothing
medically wrong with you,
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94. so it doesn't really matter, does it?
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95. Uh, how much longer would you say
you have to be this close to my face?
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96. I'm not really finding anything wrong
with your eyes, Mr. Hill.
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97. Just as I thought and diagnosed yesterday.
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98. Are you ready to admit
you were crying, Hank,
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99. or do we need to see a brain doctor?
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100. Because I will go right back in there
and get a referral.
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101. Okay, you were right.
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102. I am crying. You happy now?
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103. Well, I... I'm happy for me,
but I am sad for you.
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104. But honey, I promise to keep this
between you, me, Bobby
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105. and the family therapist
we will undoubtedly have to see.
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106. I'm not crying because of Bobby.
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107. Charlton Heston isn't me or Bobby.
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108. Charlton Heston is...
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109. is my truck.
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110. No, this is not because
of your truck, Hank.
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111. I think something's wrong with her.
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112. I checked this morning,
and there was water in the exhaust.
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113. Oh, God.
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114. Mr. Hill, I'm afraid the news isn't good.
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115. She's only got about 500 miles left.
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116. 600, if you drive downhill... a lot.
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117. I'm just going to close her up.
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118. You're not even going to try to fix it?
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119. It would cost more to fix this truck
than it's worth.
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120. No, sir, I do not accept your answer.
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121. This truck has given me 20 years
of reliable service.
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122. And you cannot put
a Blue Book value on that.
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123. Now, who's going to tow me home?
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124. There.
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125. Hank's never going to let this truck go.
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126. And we're the ones
that are going to suffer.
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127. We will now be "rides to The Auto Zone"
and "those chumps who will push my truck."
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128. You can't blame Hank
for being attached to his truck.
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129. He loves it. And that's what you do
when you love something.
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130. You cling to it,
so it doesn't try to run away.
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131. I've had my van for ten years.
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132. First sign of weakness,
I'll shoot her myself.
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133. Look, look, she's running.
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134. All I did was change the spark plugs,
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135. adjust the valve train,
and rebuild the carburetor.
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136. She's purring like Eartha Kitt.
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137. You got a dang...
durn fire in the hole, man,
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138. Man, ain't you got no... Blow, man!
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139. No, no, nothing to worry about.
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140. It's probably just a leak
in the fuel line.
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141. I'll just have to watch it
until the engine runs out of gas.
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142. - Yep.
- Yep.
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143. Mm-hmm.
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144. Yep.
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145. All right, Bobby, I think the carburetor
just needed a little fine-tuning.
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146. Crank it gently.
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147. Peggy, I know you said you'd divorce me
if I got rid of the Maverick.
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148. So I hope you were kidding.
Hank, it's beautiful.
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149. Hey, Dale! You mind driving me
over to The Auto Zone?
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150. I'm just going to break down
and buy a new carburetor.
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151. And so it begins...
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152. Sorry I'm almost late, sir.
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153. I tried that new left-turn lane on Fourth.
It was okay.
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154. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need you, Hank.
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155. Clark Mobile Homes is threatening
to cancel their account.
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156. Oh, God, they have a heated pool
and communal barbecue pits.
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157. What the...
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158. Uh, I mean, uh, what, uh, seems to be
the problem with, uh, Mr. Clark?
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159. It seems Enrique's
been short-filling their tanks.
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160. - Well, why would he do that?
- Well, I... told him to.
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161. Oh, cripes almighty, it's hot in here.
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162. Really? Uh...
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163. I was just thinking
it was a little chilly, actually.
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164. Now, someone's lying to me.
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165. Let's see.
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166. Is it the girl in Accounting,
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167. my daughter, or you fellas?
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168. Oh, scout's honor, Roy.
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169. If Hank says those tanks were filled,
by God, those tanks were filled.
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170. Uh, actually, sir, if you recall,
what I said was...
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171. Whoo-whee! I don't like to get this sweaty
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172. 'less I have a little lady
to towel off on.
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173. We lost the account, didn't we?
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174. So I raised my hand and said,
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175. "Mrs. Donovan, I think I speak
for the whole class
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176. when I say the homework load
has been a little heavy lately."
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177. And the class erupted!
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178. Bobby was in the middle of a great story.
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179. Start again, Bobby. Lots of energy.
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180. Okay.
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181. It was a day like any other.
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182. Here's a story for you.
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183. I've had a long day,
and I lost a big account,
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184. and I don't have the energy
to listen to any stories. The end.
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185. Oh, Bobby, honey,
it is not because he doesn't love you.
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186. Oh, I know. It's because of his truck.
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187. Well, that is what he keeps saying anyway.
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188. But what I think would really help
your father fix his truck
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189. is for the two of you
to spend some good time together.
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190. Fixing his truck?
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191. It doesn't matter what you do, Bobby.
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192. Oh, wait, honey.
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193. Don't tell him any more
of those boring school stories, okay?
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194. Hey, Dad, need an extra set of hands?
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195. That is not a toy. It's for lying down on.
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196. Dang it, Bobby.
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197. People are going to see this oil stain
and think I'm a drunk.
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198. Now, clean it up.
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199. "We perform miracles
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200. at Pick-Up Truck Heaven."
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201. So I called and told him
the transmission's shot
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202. and the engine mounts are rusty
and it was catching fire a lot,
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203. and they said, "No problem."
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204. This place is all the way
in West Durndell.
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205. I'm not going to drive my truck
40 miles on some magic carpet ride
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206. so some jackass mechanic can tell me
there's nothing he can do.
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207. Come on, Dad.
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208. Your truck drove you to the hospital
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209. when you cut your toe
with the weed whacker.
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210. You owe it to her to at least try.
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211. And you owe it to Bobby to take him along.
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212. After all, this is his brilliant idea.
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213. I wish I could take credit for it.
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214. Oh! I did buy the newspaper.
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215. I'm not sure.
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216. The address is either 1523 or 1528.
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217. It says,
"Look for the giant inflated gorilla."
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218. Is that it?
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219. Hello. I am Marty Mendez.
You must be Mr. Hill.
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220. I recognize your truck
from your son's description.
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221. You have my condolences.
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222. Tell me, Marty, what do you recommend?
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223. A new truck.
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224. You're not a mechanic at all.
You're a salesman.
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225. I am the salesman.
Salesman of the Month, March '98.
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226. I'm sure I mentioned that to your son.
I'm very proud of it.
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227. How could you?
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228. Eighty-four miles
I'll never get back.
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229. It's not all my fault.
Mom did buy the paper.
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230. Ooh, and I'm as mad at her as you are.
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231. Oh, come on, come on.
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232. Bobby, take the wheel.
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233. I can't push it myself.
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234. She's too solidly manufactured.
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235. Eh... ooh! Oh!
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236. Stop making train noises. It's not funny.
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237. Dad, it's not me! I think there's a...
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238. Bobby, get away from the tracks now!
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239. Dad, leave it!
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240. Stop! Someone's on the tracks!
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241. Stop the train! Stop!
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242. No!
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243. So that's what it sounds like
when a train hits a truck.
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244. It was a little more trucky
than I would've thought
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245. considering how much train there was.
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246. This is all your fault.
You killed my truck.
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247. I was just trying to help.
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248. And if it wasn't the train,
it would have been something else.
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249. That mechanic said
it only had 500 miles left.
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250. Even if he was right, which he wasn't,
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251. if I only drove five miles a year
I could have had her another 100 years.
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252. Ah. We should have asked for a lift.
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253. You just sit here and try not to break
any more trucks.
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254. You're back.
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255. Save your fancy come-ons
for the Okies, okay?
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256. I told you before, I'm not interested.
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257. And none of your song and dance
is going to change that.
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258. Oh, believe me, it would.
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259. Now, as long as you have come back,
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260. I feel I must tell you that this bad boy
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261. comes with a sunroof and seat warmers
in its standard package.
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262. Well, sounds great.
Let me just put on a dress and hop on up.
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263. - Look, I just need a phone.
- There's one in the truck.
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264. I'm just being honest with you.
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265. I'm just going to use
the pay phone in the showroom.
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266. Bobby, I'll just be a minute. I...
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267. Bobby?
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268. You looking for a little kid
'bout this big by this big?
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269. He said he's walking home.
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270. What? Why didn't you try to stop him?
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271. Looked like he could use the exercise.
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272. Red or green, honey? Red or green?
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273. Uh, well, uh, I give up.
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274. I don't know if it was you or the truck,
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275. but I need to test-drive
this beauty right now.
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276. I knew it!
It feels like March '98 all over again.
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277. Yes.
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278. Oh.
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279. Excuse me. I'm looking for my son.
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280. A kid came running by
asking for directions to Arlen.
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281. - That's him.
- I pointed him north on Mariposa,
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282. - but he went west on Travis.
- The way I pointed.
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283. Okay, west. Uh... West...
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284. Oh!
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285. Bobby? Bobby!
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286. Huh. Anti-lock brakes.
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287. That's why they didn't lock.
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288. Oh...
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289. Hmm.
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290. You can do it, Bobby.
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291. Only 39 miles to go.
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292. - Bobby, quick, get in!
- I'm fine. Thank you.
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293. I am walking home.
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294. Bobby, you got tired
on the drive over here.
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295. Look, Bobby, I'm sorry I blamed you
for killing my truck.
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296. I know it wasn't intentional.
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297. Well, you're damn right it wasn't.
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298. You think you're the only one
who loved that truck?
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299. I spent the best years
of my life in that truck.
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300. You did love my truck?
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301. I'm sorry I never got a chance
to tell her that.
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302. Come on, why don't you climb on up?
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303. It's got seat warmers.
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304. My butt is kind of numb.
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305. Hey, I got my own air bag.
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306. And a vanity mirror.
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307. I look pretty sweet in this truck.
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308. I found this by the tracks.
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309. You know,
maybe she died there for a reason.
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310. Like she was trying to tell you something.
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311. Like, "Go back to the dealership
and buy a new truck.
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312. It's okay. I'm in a better pla..."
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313. And then the train hit her.
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314. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right.
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315. Maybe she's looking down on us right now
from pick-up truck heaven...
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316. you know, the real one.
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317. Oh, man.
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318. There's something in my eye.
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319. Yeah, it's the, uh...
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320. It's the new car smell. It's very strong.
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321. I love this truck!
Yeah, me too.
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322. But when we get back to the dealership,
pretend you hate it.
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323. To The Flowers of Time!
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