King of the Hill 5x4

Directed by Allan Jacobsen

Ashley Gardner as Nancy Hicks Gribble (voice) • Breckin Meyer as Joseph Gribble (voice) • Jonathan Joss as John Redcorn (voice)

Bobby rejects Thanksgiving after history lessons from John Redcorn, who longs to be a real father to his illegitimate son Joseph.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Okay, I was going to do this after you got home from school

2. but I'm too excited.

3. The turkey knife!

4. That's right.

5. I've been waiting for the right year

6. and if you feel ready

7. this Thanksgiving,

8. you will be carving one of the three Tom Turkeys.

9. I'm ready, Dad.

10. I wasn't ready last year.

11. I realize that now.

12. Okay, pretend it's Thanksgiving

13. and this bread is a turkey.

14. Oh, my God, it's so juicy!

15. You see, Bobby, on Thanksgiving,

16. people will be so jazzed by the moistness of the turkey

17. you'll have to tune them out.

18. Now, try again.

19. The kids' table needs dark meat!

20. Dale, I read that the government returned 84,000 acres to the Utes

21. near the Ouray Reservation.

22. It's a good precedent for our tribe's lawsuit,

23. don't you think?

24. Well, with me acting as your legal advisor,

25. I am confident you have an airtight case.

26. Although I am not sure what you mean by "precedent."

27. - Hey, Dad. - Son.

28. Joseph, hello.

29. Hey...

30. so, um... is that a new backpack?

31. Looks good on you.

32. You know, I'm speaking to your class today.

33. We'll be going over the Native American role

34. in Thanksgiving.

35. Hey, why don't I give you a ride to school?

36. No, I'll ride my bike.

37. Oh, uh, Dad...

38. my bike chain is busted.

39. No problem, Son.

40. I'm pretty sure I keep a chain tool in Hank's garage.

41. Morning, John Redcorn.

42. Nancy, you just missed Joseph.

43. Well, I guess you see him every day.

44. He's just grown so much.

45. Too much time goes by without me seeing him.

46. Thank God for the holidays.

47. Yeah, about that...

48. I just don't think it's a good idea

49. you coming by this Thanksgiving.

50. But I've barely seen my son since we broke up.

51. Sug, he's Dale's son, remember?

52. Say that now,

53. but when it comes time to get him into college,

54. let's see what box you check.

55. My people once owned what is now central and southern Texas.

56. Our land was taken from us by the White men.

57. Mr. Redcorn? - Yes?

58. Are you sure it's the White men who did all that stuff?

59. Because I come from White people

60. and this is the first I'm hearing of it.

61. Yes, I am sure.

62. Wow.

63. Yes, wow.

64. You know, Bobby, if you were interested in learning more

65. I could give you... and Joseph a ride home.

66. Ride? Really?

67. Oh, I've been dreading the walk home all day.

68. These legs get dog-tired by 3:10.

69. Luanne, are you ready for another Thanksgiving Boggle tournament?

70. Aunt Peggy, everybody hates your Boggle tournament.

71. - What? - What?

72. You just said that everybody hates my Boggle tournament?

73. I didn't say that.

74. I thought it.

75. Well, now that you know,

76. everybody does hate your Boggle tournament.

77. But it's because you give grades instead of prizes.

78. Yes, Boggle is a harsh mistress.

79. Maybe I should come up with a game

80. that other people have a chance at.

81. It's going to be tough to find one

82. that doesn't give me an advantage.

83. Okay, Johnny, stay cool.

84. Don't bore him.

85. Where's Joseph going?

86. Who knows?

87. That kid's a freakin' mystery.

88. I waited two and a half hours.

89. And I really appreciate that

90. especially after all you say the White man did to the Indians.

91. You don't know the half of it.

92. The White man is still doing it.

93. Hundreds of years of the systematic rape of my people

94. is not enough, is it?

95. I'm sorry, I just have to ask again.

96. This is the White man?

97. I've researched all the very best games in the world,

98. and what I learned was

99. people like to spin, and people like to choose.

100. The trick was getting rid of all the boring stuff in between.

101. Spinning and choosing... I like those.

102. Oh, wait... what do I get to choose?

103. Well, some game shows have you choose a letter... who cares?

104. Some shows have you choose a category.

105. My God, wake me up when it's over.

106. In my game,

107. you take that choice and you spin it.

108. The name of the game is "Spin the Choice."

109. Luanne, do you want to spin the choice?

110. See you, Mr. Redcorn.

111. Bobby, in honor of your first carving

112. we're going to fry up one of the turkeys this year.

113. Dad, that is no way to celebrate

114. the rape of the Native Americans for 350 years.

115. Bobby, don't use the word "rape."

116. It's not polite.

117. I don't know how else to describe this idiotic ritual.

118. Dad... you and your White people

119. stole hundreds of thousands of acres from John Redcorn,

120. and now you celebrate by frying a turkey?

121. When does the killing end?

122. What the...

123. Hank, you're terrible.

124. - I am not. - Just give him his land back, Hank.

125. You can't just barge in here.

126. This room is my property and...

127. Eh, what's the use?

128. Look who I'm talking to.

129. You are talking to your father

130. and you will not use that Frenchman's wave with me.

131. Wait. This is about the turkey carving, isn't it?

132. It's all right to have some pre-carving jitters.

133. The good ones always do.

134. Oh, yes, what could be more important than turkey?

135. This makes me sick!

136. Thanks-taking isn't a time for celebration.

137. I refuse to carve your turkey.

138. It is basted in the blood of the innocents.

139. I'm out!

140. This was going to be the perfect Thanksgiving.

141. Bobby carving his first turkey,

142. my dad going out of town,

143. pie...

144. Do not blame Bobby.

145. I taught him to keep an open mind.

146. Maybe I taught him too well.

147. Come on, come on!

148. The naked photography books are downstairs.

149. Somebody's going to buy them all before we get a chance to even look.

150. Is that all you think about? Photography?

151. I only have a day to plan

152. an authentic Native American protest feast,

153. and if anything has to thaw or ripen,

154. I got to know now.

155. Hey, hey...

156. Joseph, how about this...

157. running into each other?

158. Hey, Mr. Redcorn.

159. I had this old headdress lying around

160. and I thought, well, you might like it.

161. Horns and a feather. Thanks.

162. John Redcorn...

163. What in the hell have you been telling my son?

164. If I stole all that land,

165. would I be living on a dang eighth of an acre?

166. He will rise up and reclaim all of what was once ours.

167. He is the spirit of our people.

168. Bobby is?

169. Joseph.

170. Oh.

171. Hank...

172. Oh, boy.

173. I want my son back.

174. I don't know.

175. Bobby, not in front of the Boomhauers.

176. I'm sorry, Dr. Boomhauer.

177. What are you doing?

178. What better way to educate

179. than to have my own Thanks-taking meal?

180. It's going to be very in-your-face.

181. I refuse to eat the White man's white meat!

182. That's it.

183. You're going to your room.

184. And stay off the guests' coats.

185. Oh, Hank, come on, let him be.

186. This is normal teenage rebellion.

187. When I was his age, I wrecked my parents' bicycle.

188. All right, fine.

189. But this whole anti-Thanksgiving thing

190. couldn't have come at a worse time.

191. Well, the game is pretty straightforward.

192. You can choose to spin, or you can choose to choose.

193. If you choose to spin, you can land on "spin"

194. or "choice" or "lose a spin"

195. or "lose a choice" or "free spin"

196. or "free choice" or "spin again."

197. I'll be right back.

198. She loves the game

199. but her ex-lover just showed up.

200. Most players won't face such distractions.

201. Hank, what's John Redcorn doing here?

202. I thought he was here for you.

203. Not in a while, Sug.

204. I'm scared he might do something stupid.

205. Would you mind kicking him out?

206. Uh... Hey, John Redcorn.

207. Hank.

208. Are you here for something in particular?

209. 'Cause this is kind of a family and neighbor kind of...

210. Bobby invited me.

211. Bobby? Well, he's just a minor.

212. He doesn't have the authority to...

213. Is this because of what happened in the car the other day?

214. I don't know what you're talking about.

215. I was crying

216. and you felt a little uncomfortable...

217. Well, I know you're here to see Bobby, so I won't keep you.

218. Hello, Bobby.

219. How's the good fight?

220. Well, Mr. Redcorn, I finally...

221. Hey, there's Joseph.

222. John Redcorn, what a pleasant surprise.

223. Have a beer.

224. What the hell do you think you're doing here?

225. I'm going to talk to my son.

226. I bought him a skateboard.

227. He's already got a skateboard,

228. and a helmet, and a father, so leave.

229. John Redcorn, hey.

230. Here's something to be thankful for.

231. You got a settlement offer from the government.

232. Twelve delicious acres of unincorporated Arlen.

233. Twelve? I was seeking 130,000.

234. There's no way I'm accepting this... insult.

235. Come on, 12's a lot.

236. Eleven of them are connected.

237. The other one's across the highway.

238. If you don't want them I'll take them.

239. You're right... this is something to drink to.

240. May I have your attention, everyone?

241. I would just like to make a toast to our friend, John Redcorn III

242. celebrating the return of 12 acres of land.

243. Almost one one-thousandth percent

244. of what he was seeking.

245. Kudos.

246. All right, then.

247. - Oh. - Yeah.

248. Joseph hates me.

249. Why would Joseph hate you?

250. He barely knows you.

251. I would also like to make a toast...

252. to the white man

253. who steals our land and steals our sons.

254. To the White man!

255. To the White man?

256. Oh, what the hell.

257. Bobby, if you have anything nice to say

258. about the American Indians

259. now would be a good time.

260. Thank you for finally hearing our voice.

261. My friend John Redcorn has taught me

262. about how important the history of his people is

263. especially on this day.

264. And I am the only one who saw fit to prepare a feast

265. that honors the Native American culture

266. not my land-grabbing ancestors.

267. According to many expensive books I studied at the bookstore,

268. the Anasazi tribe from this region

269. celebrated their most festive occasions

270. by eating the body of their enemies.

271. Anthropologists have found the leftovers of these sacred meals,

272. human bones with shiny patches

273. as if rubbed smooth against the walls of cooking pots.

274. So today we salute the Native American cannibal

275. or... people eater.

276. It is in this spirit

277. that I invite you to enjoy

278. a Native American cannibal feast.

279. Mr. Redcorn, this head's for you.

280. Oh, man. You eat people?

281. Joseph, don't listen to him.

282. That was over 700 years ago.

283. Get your hands off me, you cannibal freak.

284. John Redcorn, it's me.

285. I brought you a to-go plate.

286. It's the neck and gibs.

287. They were this close to giving them to the dog.

288. Look, I feel terrible for what Joseph said.

289. My son has all the Gribble passion with none of the Gribble charm.

290. Your son?

291. Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about your son.

292. Sit down.

293. Fourteen years ago,

294. I was gassing up my Jeep and I met...

295. Do I still need to use an ashtray?

296. You want me to consult the rule book, Dr. Boomhauer?

297. Fine.

298. You lose.

299. Sorry, I thought you were Mr. Redcorn.

300. Oh. That guy creeps me out.

301. John Redcorn is a good man

302. who's lost everything important to him.

303. Yeah, his stupid land.

304. Get over it already.

305. Joseph John Gribble, you should be ashamed of yourself.

306. What if your father lost the places he hunted

307. and fished and lived and loved.

308. Maybe it's my fault you don't understand anything about his heritage.

309. It's time we had a talk.

310. Okay, how about this?

311. Some things in life just happen.

312. You don't want to hurt anyone but...

313. Oh, come on, so Joseph called you a cannibal.

314. It's not like it's true.

315. Is it?

316. Oh, of course not.

317. Any cultural anthropologist will tell you

318. that the Anasazi tribe last practiced cannibalism

319. over 700 years ago.

320. And you are affiliated with what tribe?

321. Dale, I don't eat people.

322. For God's sake,

323. it would be like me accusing you of cannibalism

324. just because that nut in Michigan who boiled body parts

325. in his stove was White.

326. And that disk jockey in Philadelphia

327. who ate people in his basement, also White.

328. Uh... boy, you're really up on your cannibalism, John Redcorn.

329. Well, look at the time.

330. It just makes me so angry.

331. Heh-heh-heh.

332. You should know I'm highly carcinogenic.

333. Okay,

334. that bell means you get a chance to spin the prize wheel.

335. I came up with the prize wheel late last night,

336. so picture this as a 30-foot wheel that spins.

337. Bill, spin my arm.

338. Doo-doo-doo-doo...

339. Come on. Come on. Come on.

340. Doo, doo, doo, doo...

341. Come on. Come on.

342. Doo. - I win a Winnebago.

343. I win a Winnebago!

344. Doo. - No!

345. So close.

346. I spun it a little too hard.

347. Hello.

348. John Redcorn's kidnapped me

349. - and he's going to eat me. - You're with John Redcorn?

350. Uh, has he told you anything?

351. He's playing it very coy.

352. You have to save me, Hank.

353. Now, here's the plan.

354. Pss-pss-pss.

355. Dale, you're just going "pss-pss-pss."

356. Well, I've got nothing.

357. Uh, Peggy,

358. I got to go for a spin to pick up Dale.

359. He's over at Redcorn's, scared out of his pants.

360. I want to go.

361. I want to go, too.

362. For Mr. Redcorn.

363. Bobby, haven't you done enough to him?

364. It's my choice.

365. Then give me your choice card.

366. I'm glad the Cowboys lost today...

367. after all they did to the Indians.

368. Damn it, don't go dragging them into this.

369. You're already in enough trouble.

370. You called John Redcorn a cannibal.

371. That's one of the worst things you can call a person.

372. No, it's not.

373. The New York Times says cannibalism is part of his cultural heritage

374. and you have to respect other people's culture.

375. Who are we to judge, hmm?

376. I am not judging.

377. I am stating a simple fact...

378. it is wrong to eat human beings.

379. Says you.

380. Yes, and I'll say it again.

381. It is wrong to eat another human being.

382. Oh, but it was right for the White man

383. to throw blankets with smallpox onto the Indian reservations?

384. No, that was wrong, too,

385. but so is eating human beings.

386. Bobby, I agree that stealing Indians' land was wrong.

387. Can't you agree that eating people is wrong?

388. I guess.

389. There you go.

390. You know, I left one turkey uncarved.

391. Can I have the knife back?

392. You sure can, Bobby, but you barely need a knife

393. 'cause that bad boy is so god-danged succulent...

394. So, uh... what did you say to Dale?

395. Nothing... yet.

396. I can't believe she left me.

397. For that.

398. She didn't leave you for that.

399. She married that two years before she met you.

400. Shh-shh-shha!

401. Dad!

402. Joseph's here? Good.

403. I can tell both of them at the same time.

404. Get back in the truck behind Bobby where you're safe!

405. It's okay. He's not going to eat anyone.

406. Mr. Redcorn, I know you're not really a cannibal.

407. My mom told me.

408. She told me a lot of things.

409. Really? Like what?

410. How the White men stole your land and your heritage,

411. and that it's time you got it back,

412. and how we're all children of the earth,

413. so, in a weird way, we're related.

414. So what did you want to tell us, Kemo Sabe?

415. I think I will take those 12 acres after all,

416. and then,

417. upon my death, I would like to pass the land on to you, Dale,

418. for all the help you've given me.

419. Score!

420. Then Joseph will live on my forefathers' land

421. after you die.

422. Thanks, Captain Bringdown.

423. This is nice land, John Redcorn.

424. With a little TLC...

425. I think you can turn this into a real nice place

426. and maybe put up a garden and a fence and...

427. I am thinking about suing the Highway Department

428. to put in a sound-dampening fence.

429. Oh, my God! It's so juicy!