King of the Hill 5x13

Directed by Tricia Garcia

Snoop Dogg as Alabaster Jones (voice) • Renée Zellweger as Tammy Duvall (voice) • David Herman as Miles Burton (voice) • Dave Thomas as Lane Pratley (voice)

Unaware that the new employee at Strickland Propane is a prostitute, Peggy becomes her best friend and even offers her a place to stay--Hank's den.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 5x13 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 5x13 [King of the Hill 5x13]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 5x13 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 5x13 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Yahoo!

2. Sir, I am very sorry we shorted you on your propane delivery.

3. Even though this was the new gal's mistake,

4. I'll be noting it on my own record, as well.

5. I'll be right out there.

6. Hank, let's go to lunch. I have been craving cheese all morning.

7. Sorry, I can't take you to lunch today.

8. That new gal Buck hired, well, long story short,

9. she's dumb as a charcoal briquette.

10. Yo, dude.

11. Uh, I might have messed something else up.

12. This dude called, and he was talking so fast,

13. propane this, something gas that...

14. I was, like, "Whoa!"

15. Dang, I am such a spazz.

16. Tammi, this is my wife, Peggy.

17. Peggy, this is our new customer service associate, Tammi.

18. You know, you look a lot like the last girl Buck hired.

19. 'Course, she's dead now.

20. We'll have lunch another time, maybe tonight.

21. You know, um, if you've got no one else to have lunch with,

22. I'll go with you.

23. I mean, only if you want to.

24. Uh, no, I'm just trying to think if there's anything else I need to do.

25. Mm-hmm... mm-mm-hmm...

26. - Well, shall we? - I'll get my hair spray.

27. What do you order here? This menu is totally wack.

28. Personally, I like the la Crepe Suzette.

29. Get out! You talk French?

30. Un poquito.

31. Actually, I am a substitute Espanol teacher.

32. Oh, that is so slammin'.

33. Well, when you think about it, I suppose it is slamming.

34. - Your parents must be psyched. - No, uh-uh.

35. I could be queen of Egypt and my mother wouldn't give a hoot.

36. Wow. Well, I really know that trip.

37. My mom and I haven't talked since I dropped out of school.

38. Or maybe it was since I totaled her 'Vette.

39. - Your mother drove a Corvette? - Chevette.

40. You would not have dropped out of school on Peggy Hill's watch.

41. I make learning fun, incredibly fun.

42. Well, that's why I moved here from Oklahoma City, yo.

43. I just wanted to start over. You know, maybe get my GED.

44. Dang, I'm thirsty.

45. Hey, Pierre...

46. how about a couple of Diet Cokes?

47. "Pierre"? Well, look who's talking French now.

48. The Thai food was Tammi's idea.

49. The notion of taking it out... was mine.

50. You know, someday, I would like to travel to Thai-rabia

51. and see those pyramids.

52. So, Luanne, you go to community college?

53. That is awesome! I am totally impressed.

54. I've never even finished a whole book.

55. Well, that's just because you've never had the right tutor.

56. If Helen Keller can graduate from college, you can certainly get your GED.

57. My G-freaking-E-D?

58. Your learning adventure begins tomorrow after work at your place.

59. If you have cats, please vacuum.

60. My place?

61. Uh... actually, I kind of got kicked out of my apartment last night,

62. so I'm living out the car.

63. But we can meet at Starbucks.

64. Could I use the phone in your bedroom?

65. It's long-distance, but I'll pay you back.

66. Could you or can you?

67. You may.

68. Hank, we are not letting Tammi sleep in her car.

69. Let's give her the den till she gets back on her feet.

70. Not... my... den! No way.

71. It took me two years to get this one out of there.

72. If Boomhauer got kicked out of his house, you would let him stay in the den.

73. Yes, but Boomhauer is a family friend.

74. Plus, he's immaculate.

75. Tammi!

76. Hank and I just discussed it and I insist that you stay with us

77. until you find a new place.

78. What? But...

79. You guys are the raddest.

80. This calls for a celebration. I'm staying up till 11:00!

81. My dad's taking the truck to a swap meet this weekend

82. so I'd better take scratch and ding inventory now.

83. Hang on a sec!

84. That Tammi's quite a dish.

85. Frankly, though, I think my Nancy has a nicer can.

86. Hank, do you think Nancy has a nicer can than Tammi's can?

87. Huh?

88. My wife's can vis-a-vis your wife's friend's can?

89. Stop it, Dale.

90. It's bad enough I have to live with her now,

91. running around the house in those miniskirts.

92. That pager never stops beeping

93. and I've had it up to here with her coming in all hours of the night.

94. How do my girls look, Hank?

95. Uh, I wouldn't know!

96. Well, where are you off to all jazzed up like that?

97. Uh, I'm just going to hang out with a friend.

98. Oh, another friend? I'm sorry, I thought I was your friend.

99. Who is this "other friend?"

100. Oh, uh, yeah, he's an old bud from Oklahoma City.

101. You know, passing through town on business.

102. Maybe your "old bud" would like to meet your "new bud."

103. Uh, definitely.

104. Definitely next time.

105. Hey, long time, no see. You still charging your Oklahoma City rate?

106. A hundred bucks a throw, up front, like always.

107. I know a place where we can park.

108. Boy, Peggy, I don't know.

109. I'm beginning to suspect that Tammi is a...

110. Well, a freeloader.

111. No, she is not.

112. If there is one thing I know, Hank, it is people,

113. and Tammi is good people.

114. See ya.

115. She took the best piece of ham.

116. I was saving that for Ladybird.

117. Hey, everybody, I'm home.

118. I thought you were going out with your other friend.

119. Oh, he was just in town for the hour.

120. Huh, that's odd. Why would he...

121. Oh, Hank, before I forget, this is for you.

122. It's 50 bucks. I mean, you guys have been so amazing to me.

123. It's the least I can do,

124. you know, for using your phone and chowing your food.

125. That makes the score, Peggy Hill... one,

126. and People Who Doubt Peggy Hill... zero.

127. Yeah, that, uh, that bottom paper tray needs to be... filled.

128. - It's full. - Well, top it off.

129. You know, Tammi, I run a private propane tutorial retreat up my lake house.

130. If you got a thirst for knowledge and margaritas, I'm free this weekend.

131. Thanks, Buck, but I'm pretty booked up this weekend.

132. - Most weekends, actually. - Uh-huh.

133. Donna, get in here!

134. Boy, I had her all wrong.

135. It takes a lot of character to stand up to Buck when he turns on that charm.

136. Oh, Hank, Tammi's got more sense than to go after a married man.

137. Poor kid. She's probably very lonely, and it doesn't help

138. that we're waving our happy marriage in her face all the time.

139. Hey, why don't I introduce Tammi to some of the single guys on my route?

140. Maybe she'll meet a nice fella to settle down with.

141. She is going to make someone a great wife,

142. but it's going to have to be someone who can hold her interest.

143. Her dates never last more than an hour.

144. Howdy, Hank.

145. Well, well. Who's this?

146. This is Tammi Duvall. She's new over at Strickland.

147. Lane Pratley of Pratley Cadillac Hyundai.

148. - As in, the owner. - Oh! Cool.

149. Nice to meet you.

150. Well, I'm going to go check the tanks, so feel free to talk while I'm gone.

151. Fine, fine. So, how long you been in town?

152. - I think I also better check the gaskets. - That's fine!

153. So, how long you been in town?

154. Dang. Official GED Practice Tests.

155. - Do you really think I can pass? - Oh, please.

156. People who haven't even graduated from high school can do this.

157. Now, here is the first book you're going to finish.

158. Congo, by Michael Crichton.

159. Mm-hmm.

160. This is the kind of book people read on planes.

161. Now, that would look hot on you.

162. Oh, no,

163. I could never wear something that... bold.

164. Why not? You sure got the legs. Yo, show 'em off.

165. That dress is pretty rad.

166. We'll hit the makeup counter, and when I'm through with you,

167. believe me, honey, you are going to be stopping cars.

168. Ho, yeah!

169. Hey, Dad.

170. Them's the keys to my Cadillac car.

171. Remember, under no circumstances is the wife allowed in my Cadillac car

172. unless she's in a bag in the trunk.

173. I know, I know. Have fun at the swap meet.

174. I hope you cleaned the bed liner in your truck.

175. I don't want no dirt on Hitler's canoe!

176. Hank, would you mind seeing if that's for me? I'm not ready yet.

177. Well, I'll be god danged!

178. - Do I know you? - I don't think so.

179. - You ever worked Houston? - No.

180. - Vegas? - No.

181. - Tiajuany? - Nope.

182. - Reno? - Nope.

183. Oh, hey, Mr. Burton. Is everything okay with your tanks?

184. I safety-checked them this afternoon.

185. Oh, uh, right, yeah, uh, the tanks are fine.

186. I'm just here for, uh, you know, Tammi?

187. - We have a, uh, date? - Huh.

188. Well, hold on, uh... I'll go get her.

189. The Philippines?

190. - No. - Bangkok?

191. - I think I would've remembered you. - Don't be so sure, sweet cheeks.

192. I been known to give a girl amnee-zee.

193. Dad, please don't bring us back another Japanese skull.

194. It's just going to gather dust.

195. Uh, Tammi, Miles Burton's at the door.

196. He says he's got a date with you. What's that about?

197. Hank, you introduced us.

198. Uh, but I thought you were going out with Lane Pratley tonight.

199. I am. After my date with Miles.

200. Oh...

201. I see, well, nothing wrong with having lots of different suitors.

202. That's the way dating used to be.

203. Back in my mom's day.

204. This is a little present for you. Because you are so rad.

205. And this is next week's rent in advance.

206. You are one class act, I tell you what.

207. And I have one more surprise for ya'll.

208. Peggy, you ready? As always!

209. Presenting the new, improved Peggy Hill.

210. - Whoa. - What? You don't like it?

211. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I-I do.

212. Yeah, you look... hot.

213. Well, that's true.

214. Okay, everybody, I got to fly.

215. Peace out.

216. Wonder what she got me.

217. Well, I kind of like it.

218. Well, we look like a couple of movie stars.

219. We sure do... baby.

220. - Yup. - Yup.

221. - Mm-hmm. - All right!

222. If no one's going to say it to you, Hank, I'll say it...

223. - I am jealous of that hat. - Me, too.

224. Yeah, man, that dang ol' smoove ol' hat, man.

225. Yeah, I tell you, it's pretty sporty.

226. I've got to wear it around to break in the felt.

227. I don't mean to put you on the spot, Hank,

228. but do you think I'd have a shot with Tammi?

229. Well, look, Bill, you're a great guy,

230. but I've set her up with some of the most prominent men in Arlen,

231. and none of them has been good enough for her to date exclusively.

232. She's very selective.

233. Reverend Stroup.

234. Uh... Hank?

235. Give me the money.

236. See, I just want... Come here.

237. Donald, let go of me! Hey, hey, come on.

238. I mean it!

239. Hey! Don't you ever lay your hands on a lady! You understand?

240. Okay, okay, okay, okay! You're ripping the jacket.

241. - Now, what's the problem here? - This hosebag owes me money.

242. Give her the money, friend. I'm not going to ask you twice.

243. - Okay, but she... - You mess with her, you mess with me.

244. Now, hand over the money.

245. Okay, all right, okay. We're cool, okay?

246. Yeah, we're "cool". Now beat it.

247. Hank, man, you are the bomb.

248. Well, from the reaction we're getting,

249. I guess they haven't had two pretty women in this library in a while.

250. Dude, check out the feet on the one on the left.

251. - It's got to be a guy. - But there's no Adam's apple.

252. - They can fix that. - I've been with worse.

253. Mrs. Hill?

254. - Is that you? - Well, hello, Mike.

255. You must be Mrs. Soto.

256. Hello, I am Peggy Hill, Mike's teacher.

257. You're a teacher?

258. Why are you dressed like that?

259. What?

260. Is there a dress code for teachers now?

261. Some chicks just hate it when other chicks look hotter.

262. Story of my life.

263. - Can I help you? - Allow me to, uh, introduce myself,

264. Alabaster Jones, the main mack daddy of Oklahoma City.

265. Miss Tammi Duvall works for me.

266. I am her manager.

267. Well, she works for me now. I'm her manager.

268. Technically, assistant manager.

269. It ain't like that, G. I am her pimp.

270. Pimp? You must have her confused with somebody else.

271. The Tammi Duvall I know works at Strickland Propane.

272. Man, don't be giving me no nut roll. I ain't no chili pimp.

273. I got the wire on that propane scam you working.

274. You been tricking Tammi out all over town.

275. Driving around in your Kitty, shaking J's down for bills.

276. Pretty sweet little operation you got going on for a small-town player.

277. Son of a...

278. I can't believe this.

279. - I... but she... - Believe it, homey.

280. She's my ho.

281. And I better have my ho in my car

282. ready to go back to my hood in one hour,

283. or you're going to be my ho, you dig?

284. Yeah, I bet it seemed like the sweet life at first,

285. trick out a couple of ladies, make some spare scratch.

286. But you never see the dark side until those silk sheets

287. form a noose around your neck.

288. Shut up, Dale.

289. I've got to find Tammi.

290. Hank, bring me back a redhead!

291. You!

292. Alabaster came by my house.

293. - Oh, dang. - Who is Alabaster?

294. Tammi's pimp. She's a prostitute.

295. Hank that is a terrible thing to say. Why would you even think that?

296. Because Tammi is a hooker!

297. Is this true?

298. Peggy, I'm totally sorry.

299. You... get out... your hooker stuff... of my house!

300. Goodbye, Mrs. Hill!

301. Bye, Mike. See you in school.

302. Well, did you even really even want to get your GED,

303. or was that just another lie?

304. No, I wanted to go straight so bad.

305. But I was making janky-ass pay at Strickland

306. and I was never going to save enough money to move out of your place,

307. and I just... fell back into the life.

308. Oh...

309. But I'm almost finished with Congo.

310. I'm up to the part where they shoot the supermonkeys with the ray gun.

311. You actually are reading it?

312. Tammi, you compromised

313. the sanctity of my propane route.

314. Now I have to look that pervert, Lane Pratley, in the eye

315. and he thinks I'm a... a pimp.

316. Dude, nobody thinks you're a pimp.

317. But if you were a pimp...

318. you'd be the coolest, nicest,

319. most awesome pimp there ever was.

320. What the... Alabaster!

321. Hank, quick turn there.

322. Oh... damn!

323. I'm on your ass now.

324. All right, hang on, this is going to get hairy.

325. - What are you doing? - Getting him just where I want him.

326. What, he ran a red. You can't do that.

327. Uh!

328. All right, I'll lose him in the alley.

329. That's it. Hank, pull over. Let me out.

330. - Tammi, no. - This isn't your problem.

331. You dudes have already done more for me than anyone ever has.

332. I'm going to go back to OKC with Alabaster.

333. Hank, please don't let her.

334. Granted, she's a prostitute and she did use you as something of pimp,

335. but we all make mistakes.

336. - You stay here. - Hank, don't.

337. Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up.

338. No offense, but he's from Oklahoma.

339. Peggy, give me the hat.

340. All right, man, get out of that jalopy and let's talk some business.

341. Oh, so you ready to give me my ho back?

342. She's not going anywhere, chump.

343. But I am a fair businessman, so here's all the money she's given me so far.

344. Man, this feels a little light. You jacking me?

345. I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County.

346. I play it straight up, yo.

347. You get the hell out of my hood.

348. She's my ho now.

349. All right, all right, man, you can have her.

350. I got a stable of hos waiting on me in the OKC.

351. Yo, what you want for that jasper brunette?

352. That is my wife!

353. Man, that's the biggest mistake a pimp could make...

354. marrying one of his hos.

355. Hank!

356. What are you looking at?

357. Please, Hank, don't turn me out! I'm no good!

358. Ask anyone, ask my wife!

359. No, Dale, we're all going straight.

360. From now on, the only woman I'm pimping is Sweet Lady Propane.

361. And I'm tricking her out all over this town.

362. Alabaster!