King of the Hill 5x12

Ashley Gardner as Nancy Hicks Gribble (voice) • Tom Poston as Mr. Popper (voice)

Bobby's ventriloquist's dummy gets more of Hank's attention than Bobby, but it's Dale who harbors a grudge against the wooden being.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 5x12 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 5x12 [King of the Hill 5x12]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 5x12 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 5x12 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. MAN Now, Vijay Singh with a testy 12-foot putt.

2. Hey, putta-putta-putta- putta-putta-putta, swing!

3. - Shh! - Hey, man... Ditto.

4. Hey, Dad, guess who's the star of the Nursing Home Follies?

5. Quiet, Bobby. We're watching the Masters.

6. That's a golf tournament.

7. I know, the one with the fabulous green jackets.

8. MAN Boy, Ken, you can cut the tension with a knife.

9. Thank you, Garrity & Sons Nursing Home!

10. Wonderful.

11. I'm Jerry Popper. I was on The Tonight Show once.

12. - Can you spare a minute? - Can I?

13. Kid, I'll get right to the point.

14. I hate living here,

15. but watching you up on that stage lighting the place up,

16. for a moment, it made me forget the nurse stole my watch.

17. You got something, kid.

18. Moxie? Chutzpah? Pizzazz?

19. Aw, you're selling yourself short.

20. This is Chip Block, All-American,

21. and the original, not one of those plastic Woolworth's copies

22. that allowed me to retire in such comfort.

23. Right, Chip?

24. Hey, slugger. Aw, that was my brother's name.

25. They made him into a baseball bat. He was from Louisville.

26. Hey, that dummy's got good timing.

27. Who are you calling "dummy," dummy?

28. Settle down, Chip. Chip doesn't like to be called "dummy."

29. He prefers the term "carved figure."

30. Crafted by Masterman's of Wisconsin, Portuguese cork.

31. Portuguese cork! That's funny.

32. Yep, but real ventriloquism is about more than telling jokes.

33. It takes great acting, Bobby, Oscar-caliber,

34. to play two roles at once.

35. Nobody could do it today, except maybe Meryl Streep.

36. Streep would be a great ventriloquist... and so would you.

37. I want you to have him.

38. I'm going to win the talent show this year, not that banjo-playing dork.

39. Whoa, whoa, kid.

40. You can't just put your hand inside his body.

41. You've got to get inside his head.

42. Who is Chip Block? I'll tell you.

43. He's the best athlete ever to attend All-America High.

44. Every boy wants to be his pal, every girl wants to be his gal.

45. But I'm sorry, ladies, he's saving it for marriage.

46. An athlete, huh?

47. I may look big, but very little of it is muscle.

48. Chip and I...

49. know you can do it, Bobby.

50. Please, Bobby, the show must go on.

51. You say that, too?

52. All right, I'm in.

53. Thanks, Mr. Popper.

54. Promise me you'll take care of him. None of that lemon-scented crap.

55. - Linseed oil! - BOBBY I promise.

56. Not you, Chip. I was talking to B... Oh.

57. Bravo, Bobby. Bravo.

58. Hank, what is it about models that rock stars find so attractive?

59. Fluttering butterflies. Fluttering butterflies. Fluttering butterflies.

60. "Fluttering butterflies"?

61. Not in this house.

62. "The fluttering butterflies gracefully filled the skies in Pacific Grove."

63. "The fluttering butterflies..." - Oh, God.

64. Dad, this is Chip Block.

65. We're practicing our labials.

66. New rule. Lights out by 8:30.

67. Another?

68. Don't you think you've had enough?

69. - Another. - Yes, sir.

70. My son is playing with dolls. There, I said it.

71. He's a sissy. There, I said that.

72. Sammy Sosa. Sammy Sosa.

73. Oh, that's a ventriloquist's dummy.

74. The way people were talking, I thought you were playing with a Barbie doll.

75. Mom, meet Chip Block, All-American.

76. Chip, this is my mom.

77. I didn't know you had a sister.

78. Oh, thank you.

79. Pleased to meet you, Chip.

80. Yeah, that's really all the material we have.

81. The problem is, Chip likes the sports pages,

82. but I'm more of an arts-and-leisure guy.

83. I don't even know how to read a box score.

84. Well, then, a league-leading softball pitcher

85. will be the one to teach you.

86. Let me just get a sports page.

87. Okay, now, "E.R.A.,"

88. as you see here, is my "Earned Run Average,"

89. which is very, very good.

90. - What does "H.B.P." mean? - "Hit By Pitch."

91. She was crowding the plate.

92. Hank said I could get some cereal.

93. Oh, I'll never forget this. In this game,

94. I had a no-hitter...

95. If you'll adjust the two Hs to Es

96. signifying they were actually errors,

97. which a less jealous scorer would have ruled them.

98. "Who was the last pitcher to win 30 games?"

99. Denny McLain, Detroit Tigers, 1968.

100. That's day-one stuff, Chip. Give me a hard one.

101. Okay, wise guy. How many years did he get for pension fraud?

102. Ooh, you got me... unless it was eight.

103. You're the man.

104. MAN And the ball is going... going...

105. It's... foul. Foul ball.

106. Uh... Bobby, maybe you and your... action figure

107. want to go clean your room.

108. Could you please blow your smoke the other way, Mr. Gribble?

109. I'm training for the varsity squad.

110. - I get Dale's spot. - What's with Dale?

111. He's like an L.A. fan, leaving in the seventh inning.

112. - Boy, this new manager sure is methodical. - Yeah.

113. People criticize him for playing little ball,

114. but I say a "W" is a "W" any way you get it.

115. Oh, come on. My grandmother hits like that.

116. God, I hate infield singles.

117. They put your tying run on first, Mr. Hill. Got to like that.

118. Yeah.

119. Hey... hey, that's true, Bobby... and, uh...

120. Chip. Chip Block. Nice to meet you, Mr. Hill.

121. - How do you do that, Bobby? - He's using show business.

122. Palmeiro's going to be looking for a fastball.

123. All right.

124. Yeah!

125. MAN Palmeiro got a fastball.

126. - Hey, you called it, Chip. - Chip's a genius.

127. Bobby, Chip, you get Dale's spot. Bill...

128. I couldn't handle the pressure anyway.

129. Could be... could be... It is!

130. Round tripper! He's going to tag all the bags!

131. All right!

132. I love this guy.

133. Enjoy your last few breaths, dummy.

134. You're looking lovely this morning as usual, Mrs. Hill.

135. Well, thank you.

136. I'll have cinnamon rolls, pancakes, Seven-up, bacon...

137. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Bobby, if you're going to bulk up, do it right.

138. You want five raw eggs in a glass.

139. Raw eggs? Haven't you heard of salmonella?

140. Relax, kid. If I wanted to kill you,

141. I'd challenge you to a push-up contest!

142. - Yeah. - Eggs it is.

143. Mr. Hill, could you pass the sports section, please?

144. Sure. You gonna make fun of tennis there, Chip?

145. Oh, I think tennis does a pretty good job of making fun of itself.

146. Ain't that the truth?

147. Now let's see what Daddy got for you. Bug, get Dale his gift.

148. Happy birthday, Squirt.

149. Shug, are you all right? - Fine!

150. Sh-shah!

151. Octavio, I want you to do the exact same thing I just did

152. to this picture to this guy in person.

153. Except do it right here.

154. Okay, I'm going to need $20 now and $20 when it is done.

155. And another $20 for expenses.

156. Well, tee time is in two hours and eight minutes.

157. So, in other words, you're going to be leaving the house.

158. Yes, Dale, we're all going golfing, remember?

159. Well, I can't go. I got plans.

160. Yeah. Plans.

161. I mean, nothing!

162. Hello, Mr. Gribble. Nice to see you.

163. Nice to see you again.

164. Hey, uh, we got a spot open today for golfing.

165. How'd you like to join our foursome?

166. Uh, no thanks, Mr. Hill. I'm going to hang out here today.

167. Maybe, uh, run some wind sprints.

168. Aw, come on, Chip. I'll let you drive the cart.

169. Maybe even fix you up with my three wood.

170. Bobby, Chip, let's go.

171. 11:15 a.m. The man and the boy and the puppet leave the house.

172. 11:16. Octavio speaks into tape recorder,

173. thus leaving crucial evidence, stupid idiot!

174. Octavio must be gotten rid of.

175. "Dear Octavio.

176. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write."

177. Silence on the tee!

178. - Keep your left arm straight. - Mm-hmm.

179. Yes!

180. Uh, uh, actually, Bobby told me about that one.

181. Aw, Chip, you modest son of a gun.

182. What'll you have, Chip? Can of Thompson's water seal?

183. Hmm. Hello.

184. Help!

185. Can I help you?

186. Yes. I would like to purchase some chloroform,

187. a roll of duct tape, and this gagging bandanna.

188. Oh, dang! Looks like a penalty stroke.

189. Oh, no, sir! That's a temporary water hazard.

190. Free drop no nearer to the hole, no penalty.

191. Oh, well, all right.

192. How'd you learn so much about golf?

193. I've seen Happy Gilmore 50 times.

194. I hate Adam Sandler.

195. Oh...

196. Yeah. He's all poo-poo jokes.

197. You don't have to work blue to be funny.

198. Amen to that.

199. Dad, I'm starting to get a ventriloquist's tan.

200. No one likes a whiner, Bobby. Right, Chip?

201. Right.

202. Mr. Popper?

203. Caught you in the act!

204. Oh, oh, it's you, kid.

205. I thought it was that thieving nurse coming back for the other cufflink.

206. I hope I'm not disturbing you, sir.

207. He was disturbed before you got here.

208. Oh... oh...

209. Sorry. Old habits.

210. So... how is that crazy wooden bastard?

211. Oh, great, great. Everybody loves Chip.

212. It's just... well, when you and Chip were partners,

213. did you ever get the feeling that the audience liked him better than you?

214. Of course. Chip was the star. And he got paid better, too.

215. That's a joke from my act.

216. - That didn't make you crazy? - Oh, of course it did.

217. I wanted to be known for more than just Chip Block.

218. At one point, I even shelved him and hit the road solo.

219. I did sound effects. I was the first guy to do "windshield wipers."

220. A few weeks later, the audience stopped coming.

221. After my second cry for help, I decided it was better

222. to be on the edge of the spotlight than not be there at all.

223. Yeah, I hear you.

224. Well, it's almost 4:00. I'll let you get ready for dinner.

225. Do me a favor, will you? Tell the nurse you couldn't find me.

226. I'm gonna get that thieving slut.

227. Hey, Bobby, I'm heading over to the hardware store,

228. and I bet the guys there would get a kick out of Chip's

229. "Jimmy Johnson varnishing his hair" routine.

230. The show must go on.

231. Dad! Dad! Chip is gone!

232. Is this part of your new act?

233. I don't get it.

234. I don't where he is, but there were signs of a struggle.

235. Think. Now retrace your steps.

236. Get him! No!

237. Dale, are you nuts?

238. You'll never put that creep back together.

239. I mixed him in with two chairs and a toboggan.

240. You're next! I'm kicking your ass through that thing!

241. You wouldn't hit an unconscious man...

242. I think I'm going to be sick.

243. You know what? Maybe this is all for the best.

244. Huh. Maybe you're right.

245. What do we really need Chip for, anyway?

246. - Now you're talking, Dad! - Yep, think about it.

247. If we build a new Chip, we could make him perfect.

248. Don't get me wrong, Chip was great,

249. but his neck wasn't really thick enough to play football.

250. At least not competitively.

251. And if his ears didn't stick out so much, he could wear a helmet.

252. I'll be at my workbench cobbling together something I can be proud of.

253. Hey, Bobby, catch.

254. Well, the spring-loaded arm needs a little tightening,

255. but the new Chip will finally be able to throw a football.

256. You know, Dad, I could just use my sock and a magic marker.

257. A sock never had an arm like this

258. or legs that could scramble like Roger "The Dodger" Staubach's.

259. And I bet that sock doesn't have Troy Aikman's jawline.

260. Okay.

261. It'll be fun, Bobby.

262. It's kind of like I'm building you a big brother.

263. Yeah.

264. Okay.

265. Let's see here.

266. Sorry, Bobby, but I can't tighten that arm.

267. Hey, Dad, this yahoo thinks the Rangers

268. are "philosophically" a National League team.

269. Ha! Yahoo.

270. That's fine. Hey, Peggy, what gets out 32-year-old blood?

271. Club soda, right?

272. Well, I'm going to go watch the Rangers philosophically kick the Yankees' butts.

273. I'll watch the game. Anybody else in?

274. Not me. I've got to spiff up my old Pop Warner jersey for Chip Number Two.

275. Hey, Peggy, you know that hair we always find in the drain?

276. You don't just throw that out, do you?

277. Wait a minute. Bill! He has bags of hair at his house.

278. Hank, your son is outside throwing a football in the air

279. and trying his damndest to catch it.

280. Maybe he'd get a few less bruises if you spent some time with him.

281. That's why I'm trying to finish the new Chip ASAP,

282. so we can start spending more time with Bobby again.

283. Well, all right, then. I will let you play with your doll.

284. Oh, and you know, if there's any lumber leftover,

285. you might want to use it to build the wife you've always wanted, too.

286. And Staubach goes back to throw. He's in the pocket.

287. Hmm.

288. Hey, Dad. I got Mr. Dauterive's old Pop Warner jersey.

289. You know, for the act. Me and Chip II.

290. I mean, Chip II and me. You got to give the star top billing.

291. Yeah, but I think in this case,

292. you'll agree both stars deserve top billing.

293. It looks just like me.

294. It's even got my haircut.

295. Yeah, I've still got a few more holes to drill along the scalp,

296. you know, to even out the hairline.

297. Hey, these are my short pants from when I was three!

298. Yeah, I found them in my rag bag.

299. I don't know, Dad.

300. Short pants don't really belong on a football field.

301. That's okay. You don't either.

302. Hey, isn't Iron Chef on?

303. Yeah, let's go watch Iron Chef.

304. Uh, you know, the Rangers are playing the Yankees right now.

305. Iron Chef! Iron Chef!

306. Sorry, Dad, it's two against one.

307. Yeah, I guess you're right.

308. Look, Peggy.

309. Look at me with my two sons.

310. "Dear Octavio.

311. It has come to my attention

312. that a man claiming to be Dale Gribble recently fired you."

313. Perimeter breach!

314. Perimeter breach?

315. You'll never catch Dale Gri...

316. You were right, Bobbies.

317. Ventriloquism is fun.