King of the Hill 5x1

Directed by

David Herman as Ted T. Gannaway (voice) • Phil Hendrie as Epperson (voice) • Jeanine Jackson as (voice) • Jim Ward as (voice) • David Herman as Ted T. Ganaway (voice)

Bobby's act of heroism leads the Hills to a meeting with candidate George Dub-Ya, who turns Hank's vote from sure to tentative with the shake of a hand.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 5x1 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 5x1 [King of the Hill 5x1]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 5x1 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 5x1 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Okay, I just voted.

2. Could you see anything?

3. Nope, nothing.

4. You could develop film in that booth.

5. Mm-hmm, that's right.

6. Peggy Hill's garage of democracy

7. is going to make those saps in Precinct Nine

8. wish they'd never voted in that stinking firehouse.

9. Hey, Dad.

10. Can you give me and Luanne a ride

11. to where Route 15 meets the 42?

12. Why? There's nothing there but a huge empty lot.

13. Nuh-uh, Uncle Hank.

14. This week it's 20 acres of fun and one acre of crafts.

15. Well, Luanne, I wish you'd get this excited about voting

16. in your first presidential election.

17. Now, did you send in those registration forms I gave you

18. for your 18th birthday?

19. No, but that's okay.

20. I'll just vote for president next year.

21. Come on, Mom. Mm-mm.

22. I am not leaving until this booth has proven to me

23. that it is 100% confidential.

24. Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?

25. Peggy, there is absolutely no way you can see through that...

26. Three!

27. I was just guessing.

28. Mom, can I have five tickets for fair food?

29. I don't want them guessing my weight on an empty stomach.

30. Ooh, I'm hungry, too.

31. Luanne, you should be hungry for democracy.

32. Um... no.

33. Yeah, I think I wanted a corn on a stick.

34. Luanne, in a few years that corn will be gone

35. but the thrill of voting lasts and lasts.

36. I still get goose pimples

37. thinking about pulling the lever for Councilman Fred Everett.

38. Of course, then he betrayed me.

39. Now go on and register.

40. The polls and the media have been ignoring my campaign,

41. but they're going to have a little surprise come election day

42. when long-shot candidate, Ted T. Ganaway,

43. moves out of his parents' house

44. and into the White House.

45. Hey, look, a fringe candidate.

46. Poor, confused bastard.

47. Well, you have to admire his dedication.

48. I mean, he's right here in the heart

49. of what I like to call Bush country.

50. Hello, friend.

51. Oh, you made eye contact.

52. Nice job, Hank. You talk to him.

53. My name is Ted T. Ganaway and I'm running for president.

54. Uh, yeah, well, my wife and I are pretty committed

55. to George W. Bush, you know?

56. And even if we weren't, uh well,

57. there's four or five candidates ahead of you.

58. Well, good luck with the campaign.

59. Governor George W. Bush and Vice President Al Gore

60. want you to focus on my hit-and-run conviction

61. and not my 16-point plan for America.

62. Dad!

63. I know it's not up your alley

64. but there's this pig named Mitch...

65. Let's go.

66. Welcome, folks.

67. Y'all ready for some world-class pig diving?

68. ALL

69. Now, before we meet our star, let's give a county fair howdy

70. to Mitch's fishes.

71. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the main event,

72. the real deal, the finest diver with four legs,

73. the Pork Louganis,

74. Mitch the Amazing Diving Pig.

75. For his first dive,

76. Mitch will perform the Two-la Hula.

77. A death-defying plunge through not one, not three,

78. but two hula hoops.

79. Yes!

80. That was pretty good for a pig.

81. And now for our finale

82. Mitch will dive through three rings of burning fire.

83. It's the most difficult dive known to man or pig,

84. the Johnny Cash.

85. You can do it, Mitch.

86. I love this pig!

87. Uh, n-n-nothing to worry about, folks.

88. M-M-Mitch is just hamming it up.

89. Mitch!

90. Somebody do something!

91. Oh, God, Mitch!

92. Bobby, no! That's pig water!

93. Mitch is dead!

94. Not this pig... not today.

95. Hey, son, you saved my boy's life.

96. - What's your name? - Bobby Hill.

97. Let's give a big hand to Bobby Hill,

98. the amazing, pig-saving boy.

99. Oh, God, how much money is it going to take to get that film?

100. Oh, don't worry. I'm not with the press.

101. I'm with the Bush-Cheney campaign.

102. And you must be the amazing pig-saving boy's father.

103. Well, I don't, uh...

104. This is just the kind of heroism

105. the governor loves to attach himself to.

106. Why don't y'all come to his get-out-the-vote rally next week

107. as our guests?

108. Great.

109. Now, if you do a background check, I'm Hank R. Hill.

110. Not that Hank P. Hill

111. who doesn't pay his Discover Card bill.

112. Uncle Hank, I registered to vote!

113. Oh, terrific.

114. George Dubya is going to need every vote he can get

115. or they won't call it a landslide.

116. "George Dubya"?

117. He's not a communist, is he?

118. Uh, no, he's not.

119. Right. Oh, here it is.

120. See, our candidate is Robert Parigi.

121. What? "Communist"?

122. No.

123. I guess I cancel your vote out.

124. My first election and your vote means nothing.

125. Long live the people's revolution!

126. What were you thinking?

127. The Russians don't even believe in communism anymore.

128. You said you wanted me to vote.

129. You sure did, Hank.

130. Maybe Luanne has a good reason for throwing her vote away.

131. I've got several.

132. First, the line at his booth was the shortest,

133. I like his tie, it's red.

134. And his shirt is white, and his jacket is blue,

135. and that stands for America.

136. Communism!

137. So, I see you finally got Luanne involved in politics.

138. That's good.

139. Ass.

140. The people united shall never be defeated!

141. - Boo! - Boo!

142. Commie, go home!

143. Okay.

144. I just think if you don't read the newspaper

145. and the only tv you watch is the MTV,

146. you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

147. Stop fighting the last war, Hank.

148. Women got the vote

149. and there's nothing we can do about it.

150. Unless...

151. Unless what?

152. I don't know. You're a smart guy. You'll figure something out.

153. I'll get it.

154. Ooh, good evening, mate.

155. May I trouble you for a word?

156. Oh, lord.

157. Who is it, Hank?

158. The Manger Babies. I'll get rid of them.

159. Cheerio.

160. I just wanted to tell you you should vote for Robert Parigi

161. of the Communist Party USA for president. Wot? Wot?

162. You don't know the first thing about communism.

163. What's to know?

164. Robert Parigi's got the cutest little ears

165. and prettiest eyebrows.

166. So, can I tell Robert he can count on your vote?

167. No, you cannot.

168. I hate communists.

169. All they do is boss people around.

170. Sounds like you, Uncle Hank.

171. Luanne, please go home

172. before I tell you you're acting like an idiot and make you cry.

173. Eee-ya! You're a communist. Ee-ya!

174. No, I'm not.

175. Welcome to the party, mate.

176. Get that penguin back here!

177. I'm not done. Ee-yaa!

178. Power to the people, comrade!

179. Why, I say, you look good in red, Comrade Hill.

180. - Wot, wot? - All right,

181. I gave you fair warning.

182. Luanne, you're acting like an idiot.

183. Oh, no, Uncle Hank.

184. Hank, I'm making cookies to serve on Election Day.

185. Which do you think tastes better?

186. The Chips Ahoy heated up or the E.L. Fudge heated up?

187. - I don't know. - Oh. Well, where's Luanne?

188. Well, I told her she was being an idiot

189. and she ran off crying.

190. Oh, Hank, again?

191. Well, she called me a communist in my own home.

192. Uh, she doesn't know what the heck she's talking about.

193. All right, Hank, Luanne is Cinderella

194. and she fell for the wrong prince.

195. You have to be her fairy godmother

196. and introduce her to George W. Bush.

197. Take her to the Bush rally... or as I like to call it, "The Ball"...

198. and let George W. put his issues...

199. or as I like to call them, "The Glass Slippers"...

200. on her feet.

201. I can't bring a communist

202. to see the next president of the United States.

203. Hank, if Luanne is still a communist,

204. after hearing the greatest orator of our day,

205. then she really is a communist

206. and then we really have a problem.

207. Howdy, all. How y'all doing?

208. He's even more handsome than his dad.

209. Well, Barbara's a handsome woman,

210. but, you know it's his ideas that you'll find the most attractive.

211. I don't know.

212. H-h-he's really handsome.

213. Now, I don't want any of y'all to think Dick Cheney and I

214. have this thing in the bag.

215. So don't forget to vote on November 7.

216. Oh, I really like his smile.

217. And his tie, which is red.

218. I like red ties.

219. Luanne, stop looking at him.

220. Close your eyes, and listen to the issues.

221. Wait till you hear him call for lower taxes

222. and a stronger national defense.

223. Aw, I just gave away the end of his speech.

224. and a strong national defense.

225. God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

226. You know... you were right, Uncle Hank.

227. He's going to cut my taxes

228. and let me pray in junior college.

229. I think I will vote for him.

230. There you go.

231. Pig boy.

232. Pig-heart-transplant boy, or pig-saving boy?

233. I can't remember.

234. Eh, I'll wing it.

235. Hey, there's Heimlich County's newest hero.

236. I was just in the right place at the right time,

237. like any hero.

238. Yeah, and I'm the boy's dad.

239. I need your vote, partner.

240. Well, you got it, Governor Bush.

241. What's wrong, Hank?

242. Oh, my God.

243. His handshake.

244. It's limp.

245. Did Bush's hand feel like a flounder?

246. Or something softer, like a jellyfish?

247. I don't want to talk about it.

248. Hm. Was it mushy?

249. And wet like a handful of egg salad?

250. It was soft and damp.

251. Let's just leave it at that.

252. Was it a wriggler? Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle-ee.

253. Stop it. All of you stop it.

254. Stop it right now.

255. This is dead serious.

256. I don't know what to do. I thought I knew the man.

257. But the man I knew had a strong, firm grip.

258. I thought you only cared about the issues, Hank.

259. Well, yeah, but a man's handshake is an issue.

260. It's, uh... Well, it's the character issue.

261. No, character's about having principles

262. and not sleeping with the help, and such,

263. but a wimpy handshake...

264. now, that's just trivial, Hank, trivial.

265. It's not trivial.

266. This man could be the next leader of the free world.

267. We're going to have nut-job, third-world dictators

268. walking all over us when they find out

269. our president doesn't have a strong enough finger

270. to push the button.

271. That makes a lot of sense...

272. a lot of nonsense.

273. Why don't we choose the President by lottery

274. like they choose the Pope?

275. Don't be ridiculous.

276. That's how Luanne would pick a president.

277. No dumber than a handshake.

278. Yup, you and Luanne...

279. two peas in a pod.

280. All voters are the same...

281. simpleminded fools who think their vote makes a difference.

282. The system's broke, Hank.

283. The election baby has peed in the bathwater.

284. You got to throw 'em both out.

285. It was a horrible, horrible, horrible handshake...

286. but I don't know.

287. Come on, Hank, spend tomorrow not voting with me.

288. Every Election Day I go Christmas shopping.

289. All the suckers are at the polls.

290. The outlet malls are empty.

291. Parking lots are full, which I never understood.

292. I got a theory, but it involves the largest mirror in Texas.

293. No, no, I've got to vote.

294. So you're voting for the other fellow?

295. I don't know.

296. All I know is, if I don't vote,

297. I won't get called for jury duty anymore.

298. Hank, honey, if you have to go into the garage

299. Please walk on the stripes.

300. The stars will not be dry until morning.

301. Look, look. Right there.

302. See that guy's reaction when Bush shakes his hand?

303. Surprise...

304. then disappointment.

305. Sure, but when I want to watch Scent of a Woman,

306. you don't even know how to work the VCR.

307. See? See, the guy's smiling, happy, on top of the world.

308. Then Bush shakes.

309. There goes the man's face. See?

310. Surprise, then disappointment.

311. See that?

312. Surprise, then disappointment.

313. Surprise... disappointment.

314. Surprise... then disappointment.

315. Hank, honey, thanks for making

316. your side of the bed this morning.

317. It saved me lots of time.

318. Hank...

319. Hank?

320. You know, with voter turnout at all-time lows,

321. not voting makes me more American.

322. The only thing more American than not voting

323. is Egyptian cotton linen irregulars at 40% off.

324. First stop, Wamsutta sheets.

325. Mrs. Fetter, what time do you have?

326. A little before seven.

327. I have seven.

328. It's still a little before seven.

329. On three. Two...

330. one, now.

331. Now.

332. Hi, Peggy.

333. First to vote, last to leave.

334. Hmm.

335. And the pockets are big enough for an...

336. umbrella.

337. Ptshaa!

338. Joseph will love it.

339. I look like a jackass.

340. Look at that.

341. Well, I'm ready to vote.

342. Where's Uncle Hank?

343. I wanted us to vote at the same time.

344. Mm. He and Dale went down to that outlet mall.

345. You know, the one next door to Mexico.

346. Well, he'll be back before the polls close, won't he?

347. Mm. Oh, no, no, no.

348. But that's okay.

349. Hank says he's not voting.

350. Smell this, Hank. Does it smell like Boomhauer?

351. Yeah, it smells like Boomhauer.

352. He's gonna love it.

353. Uh-oh,

354. this could be a propane emergency.

355. Nah, just Luanne,

356. or one of her Manger Babies.

357. So, where to, Dale?

358. Well, Nancy's been wanting an onyx chessboard

359. and I know just the place.

360. I think Uncle Hank is dead!

361. He didn't return my page!

362. Well, I am sure he's not dead, Luanne.

363. That number is for propane emergencies only.

364. Whoa, Dale, this bridge goes into Mexico.

365. Whoops, did I make a wrong turn?

366. All right, let me try to spin around.

367. Nope. Not yet.

368. Now? Nope.

369. Oh, well, we're in Mexico.

370. What are you gonna do?

371. Dang it, Dale, turn around up here.

372. No. There is to be no deviation from the plan.

373. What plan?

374. Oh, I'm sorry.

375. We're gonna spend the rest of the day in Mexico,

376. see how the election turns out.

377. If there's any problem... civil unrest, military coup...

378. we will remain in Mexico under assumed identities.

379. You are Fritz Krueger, wealthy Ecuadorian rancher,

380. and I am Central American singing sensation Lamotil.

381. You know I'm not Ecuadorian

382. so, why would I need Ecuadorian papers?

383. You're already not voting.

384. You might as well give up your citizenship.

385. Believe me, Hank, if things go sour up north,

386. you'll be happy you're a non-naturalized resident alien in Mexico.

387. Ah, it's Rudy at Goobersmooches.

388. Yeah, believe me, this is serious.

389. He doesn't just call to chat.

390. We have nothing in common.

391. Goobersmooches.

392. Rudy? - No, it's Luanne. Platter.

393. And it's not a propane emergency.

394. It's a why-aren't-you-voting emergency.

395. Why aren't you voting?

396. Because my candidate's handshake had no character.

397. What takes character is to vote anyways

398. even if it's rainy, or your face is splotchy

399. or your uncle made you cry,

400. or your candidate's a dud.

401. It doesn't take any character to give up.

402. What do you know? You've never even voted.

403. Well, maybe I won't vote after all

404. since apparently it's not that important.

405. I think I'll go shopping, just like you did, Uncle Hank,

406. because I don't need to vote

407. but I can always use a good pair of pants.

408. Luanne, I want you to meet me at our polling place

409. and I'll give you the pants I just bought you for Christmas.

410. Dale, can I see your keys for a second?

411. - Why? - Uh...

412. it was supposed to be a surprise but, uh,

413. I bought you a leather key chain at the Coach Outlet

414. and I wanted to make sure it fits.

415. Uh, when did you do that... when I was trying on underwear?

416. Wait a minute.

417. You know I don't like key chains!

418. What did you get me?

419. A money clip? Uh, keep guessing.

420. Kenneth Cole shoes?

421. A new spaghetti pot?

422. A leather backpack?

423. Something with leather?

424. Come on, come on.

425. Sir, do you know how fast you were going?

426. Yeah, yeah... 86 miles per hour.

427. Now, would you mind writing this up fast?

428. I've got to get home before the polls close.

429. - I've got to vote. - You haven't voted?

430. A Nambe ice bucket.

431. Cap snaffler? Total Gym?

432. You made it!

433. How much time do we have?

434. One minute.

435. I have two minutes.

436. One minute.

437. So, who'd you vote for, Hank?

438. Nah-ah-ah.

439. If he tells you, it won't come true.

440. Hello, I'm Hank Hill from TV's King of the Hill.

441. And I'm Bobby Hill from TV's King of the Hill.

442. Welcome to what used to be my garage.

443. That's where I usually park my bike.

444. We're here to remind you to register to vote.

445. So, go ahead... fill out your registration card

446. and you'll be eligible to win these valuable prizes...

447. freedom, civic pride and a brand-new president.

448. Was it a wriggler? Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle-ee.