1. Huh! They can make a saw
that doesn't cut skin,
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2. but they can't make
a parachute that opens.
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3. Can we move this along?
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4. I have a full day ahead of me.
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5. Boggle with Nancy at 2:00,
softball practice at 4:00,
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6. and at some point,
I should probably take a shower.
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7. Now, Peggy, don't expect
to be 100 percent right away.
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8. It's likely your muscles have atrophied.
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9. Well, what you may not know, Doctor,
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10. is that every morning since the accident,
I have been doing isometric butt clenches.
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11. No, no, no. Thank you, Doctor.
I will take over from here.
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12. - Oh!
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13. Well, what do you know.
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14. It doesn't smell in here at all.
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15. Come on, with all your strength.
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16. - Here you go.
- There you go.
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17. Whoa.
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18. Aw, come on, Peggy.
You'll be back on your feet in no time.
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19. Stop moping.
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20. I am not moping.
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21. I am having trouble supporting my head.
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22. Peggy Hill. All right.
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23. My name's Ramsey.
I'm your physical therapist
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24. and I am going to have you...
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25. walking again in no time.
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26. You will?
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27. Sure. Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow...
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28. In a month, way too soon.
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29. Don't be so tough on yourself.
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30. Nobody spends six weeks in a cast
without their body going a little soft.
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31. But that's okay. Water's soft, too.
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32. But give it time,
and it'll carve the Grand Canyon.
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33. Now, that didn't take a day,
a week or even a month.
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34. It took over 200 years.
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35. The Grand Canyon took millions of years.
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36. You've got to learn
to trust me, Mrs. Hill.
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37. We gonna be working together
one hour at a time,
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38. once a week for however long it takes
to carve you a Grand Canyon.
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39. We're going to do this drop by drop.
Are you with me?
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40. Well, all right. I guess so.
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41. Okay, let's do it.
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42. Great!
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43. - See you next week.
- Next week?
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44. Drop by drop, Mrs. Flores.
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45. Yeah, you got it.
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46. Now I am moping.
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47. - No peeking.
- I'm not peeking.
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48. Okay, you can open your eyes.
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49. Okay. They're open.
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50. - Luanne.
- Oh.
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51. Ta-da!
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52. Remember the ten bags of cement
you said I'd never use?
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53. Well, I used one.
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54. Oh, a wheelchair ramp.
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55. Well, I thank you.
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56. Now I don't have
to be trapped in the house, huh?
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57. I can go anywhere.
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58. In my wheelchair.
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59. - Thank you.
- Look, Dad!
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60. I'm Sophia Loren, huh?
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61. Bobby, I'm driving you to school today.
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62. We need to talk.
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63. Ooh. I'm late for parenting class.
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64. Luanne, could you give me a ride
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65. and help me find the baby?
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66. I sure am glad
you're out of that body cast, Peggy.
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67. - Well, thank you, Bill.
- What do you suppose they do
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68. with something like that?
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69. Throw it out, I imagine.
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70. Oh.
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71. Ain't you going to eat your waffle,
Hank's wife?
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72. It's right in front of you.
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73. Reach for it. Come on!
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74. You wouldn't last a day
in a Japanese POW camp.
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75. Excuse me?
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76. Tojo had me cooped up
in a bamboo rat cage.
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77. There was nothing to eat except rats.
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78. So that's what I ate.
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79. After two weeks,
I was down to my last rat.
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80. I had to let him live,
so I could eat his droppings.
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81. Called it "jungle rice." Tasted fine.
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82. Yeah, by September,
I was finally thin enough to slip
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83. between the bamboo bars of my cage.
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84. I strangled the guard with a rope
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85. made of braided rat tails
and ran to safety.
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86. - Oh, thank God.
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87. Well, that's my ride to rehab.
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88. To be continued.
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89. - I can't.
- That's okay.
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90. - I can't.
- Drop by drop.
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91. - I can't!
- It's all right.
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92. Oh!
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93. Great set. You showed that
rubber band who was boss.
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94. But you told me to do 8 to 12 reps.
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95. I maybe did zero to one reps.
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96. If you count that last one.
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97. Every drop counts, Mrs. Hill.
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98. You're wearing down the rock.
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99. And by the way, I checked.
We were both right.
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100. It was 200 million years.
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101. - So how was rehab?
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102. I stretched a rubber band today.
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103. Hey, that's great.
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104. Oh, who am I kidding?
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105. That rubber band kicked my ass.
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106. Look, I know you're disappointed.
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107. You just got to take it one day at a time.
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108. Like the drunks do.
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109. Hank, I just want to go to sleep.
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110. Fetal position, please.
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111. Oh, yeah!
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112. - What?
- I... I just...
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113. I... Oh...
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114. Why... Dale.
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115. I just get so lonely.
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116. And we both like playing Boggle.
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117. 'Course, she always wins,
doesn't she? She...
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118. Please don't tell Hank.
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119. I want her for the carpool lane.
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120. Okay!
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121. Oh!
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122. Oh.
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123. That what they been teaching you
in rehab, Hank's wife?
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124. Okay, Cotton, you have had your fun.
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125. Now, why don't you help me into my chair?
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126. Why don't you help yourself?
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127. Well, I am trying.
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128. Don't you think I am trying? I can't.
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129. Because you're weak!
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130. You ain't got the guts!
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131. You don't deserve to walk again.
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132. - Peggy Hill?
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133. She'll be right there.
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134. You want to waste your time in a rehab?
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135. Get in your chair and go.
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136. You sadistic son of a...
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137. What are you on your knees for, woman?
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138. Praying ain't going to help.
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139. If God loved you,
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140. he'd have opened your sissy chute.
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141. You shut up, you...
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142. Oh, yeah!
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143. Teach me to walk.
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144. You ready to hate me more than
you ever hated anyone in your life?
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145. I already do.
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146. Then we're halfway there.
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147. Don't you eyeball me! Don't look away!
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148. Sitting there all high and mighty
in your wheelchair
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149. like you're some
Franklin Dee-Eleanor Roosevelt!
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150. Well, I gots a telegram for you.
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151. You're no FDR.
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152. Stop. You're wasting my time.
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153. Stop! I'm not even sure you want to walk.
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154. Well, Cotton, of course, I do.
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155. Then tell me you want to walk.
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156. I, I want to walk.
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157. I can't hear you!
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158. - I want to walk.
- What's that?
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159. I want to walk!
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160. - Good. Now shine my boots.
- Oh!
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161. - And make them all sparkly!
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162. I'm going to be buried
in those nazzy stompers
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163. at the Texas State Cemetery.
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164. That's where our government
inters its war heroes.
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165. "Inters" means "bury."
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166. "War heroes" means "me."
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167. They're letting you in there?
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168. Well, first, I gots to die.
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169. But before that,
I gots to fill out an application
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170. and be approved by a damn commission.
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171. I killed 50 men
and now I got to go begging
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172. for a war hero's grave?
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173. It ain't right.
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174. My arms are tired.
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175. And I was tired, too,
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176. when I was ordered to retake
Munda Airfield in the Solomon Islands!
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177. But I retook it anyway.
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178. Tojo had a machine gun
nest high up on a hill.
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179. Had my whole unit pinned down.
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180. So I snuck myself behind enemy lines
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181. in a 55-gallon drum of saké.
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182. Held my breath
till they got good and drunk,
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183. and then I jumped out
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184. spitting alcohol into my Zippo.
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185. Yep. I "hi-bachied" the whole squad.
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186. Come on, lady, make them shine.
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187. Well, you just shaved two minutes
off my commute.
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188. Mm. Thanks, Peggy.
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189. Uh... Please don't tell Hank.
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190. Just disrespectful, talkin' about
like Bill Dautervive, man.
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191. Not angry, man,
just very ol' dang ol' disappointed, man.
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192. Very.
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193. Playtime's over, Hank's wife.
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194. - Oh, now look what you done.
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195. He's crying.
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196. Coo-ca-ca-ca! Coo-ga-goo-ga-ga!
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197. Oh, poor little baby's sitting
on a fresh grenade.
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198. Nobody likes that.
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199. Well, I can't get to him.
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200. Crawl, damn it! Crawl!
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201. - Guam, 1944.
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202. I crawled through a minefield
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203. to retrieve
General McArthur's corncob pipe.
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204. That's right. I'm a hero.
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205. They're going to bury me
in the Texas State Cemetery.
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206. You? You're a coward!
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207. They'll bury you up on Coward's Hill.
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208. I am not a coward!
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209. What are you doing, swatting flies,
or just waving hello?
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210. Well, hello to you, too,
you fly-swatting loser.
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211. Now move it!
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212. Colonel, I think the baby's crying.
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213. Well, good job.
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214. Those parenting classes
are starting to pay off.
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215. Thank you.
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216. Well, I don't mean to brag
about the steaks here,
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217. but, uh, Dad, you can take out your teeth.
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218. Shouldn't we wait for Aunt Peggy
to get back from rehab?
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219. Oh, my God. Was it my turn to pick her up?
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220. No, she quit the rehab.
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221. She what?
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222. Yep. I'm in charge now.
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223. She's making good progress.
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224. Don't need her wheelchair no more.
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225. Oh, my God! Peggy!
What have you done to my wife?
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226. Turned her into a highly-trained,
highly-motivated fighting machine.
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227. This is crazy, Dad.
You're not a medical professional.
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228. First thing tomorrow,
we're going back to rehab.
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229. Is that what you want?
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230. You want to drop out of the program?
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231. Sir, no, sir!
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232. - Good effort. Have some chow.
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233. Hank, this steak is so tender.
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234. Had to get you out of the house.
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235. Nothing there but girls and babies.
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236. I'm referring to your husband.
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237. That's why I brought you here.
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238. Meet the greatest collection of soldiers
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239. this country has ever known.
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240. Stinky, Fatty, Stinky, Brooklyn,
Stinky, Brooklyn,
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241. Fatty, Fatty, and Doc.
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242. Oh, and Irwin Linker.
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243. Men have fought and died for the flag,
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244. and now we're giving you
the honor of raising it.
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245. Show us how a real hero starts his day.
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246. - Oh, how many boots did you shine?
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247. Your arms is still flabby.
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248. You done left Old Glory at half-mast!
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249. Well, who died?
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250. Is it you? Are you dying on me? Go ahead!
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251. 'Cause you don't deserve to live,
you worthless...
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252. Well, what do you know?
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253. That gal might have
what it takes after all.
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254. Now raise that flag.
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255. Peggy, I'm setting the alarm for 7:00.
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256. Dang it.
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257. Nope. Set it for 5:30.
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258. Cotton wants me to cut back on my sleep.
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259. Says it's making me soft.
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260. Uh, Peggy, you remember
how you've always hated my father?
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261. Well, I've never wanted to say anything
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262. because I didn't want
to hurt your feelings, but, uh...
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263. I think my dad
is not too fond of you, either.
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264. Pretty much.
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265. Uh, I'm just afraid
he's taking advantage of your condition
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266. to, uh...
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267. Well, I don't know.
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268. Torture you or something?
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269. Oh, Hank, he's not torturing me.
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270. The man is inspiring me.
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271. And with his help,
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272. Peggy Hill is doing things
I could never have done on her own.
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273. That's why I'm helping him
with his application.
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274. Did he ever tell you
how he survived eight days in a life raft
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275. by trapping rainwater
in his upturned eyelids?
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276. Yeah, he might have
mentioned that once or twice.
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277. May 2, '45, during the battle for Okinawa,
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278. Cotton invented a bayonet technique
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279. that is still used to gut men today.
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280. April 30, '45,
at the occupation of Munich...
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281. Hold on a minute. Munich, Germany?
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282. Yes, Hank.
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283. Well, how did my dad
fight in Germany and Japan
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284. at the same time?
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285. Well, let's see.
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286. April 30, May 2, that's two whole days.
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287. How long does it take to kill 50 men?
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288. Well, let's get to work!
Come on! Grab some floor!
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289. Hold on, Cotton. I have a few questions...
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290. You don't ask me questions.
I ask the questions around here!
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291. Like, move it! Move it! Move it!
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292. What's wrong with you?
You crawled yesterday!
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293. Now come at me.
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294. Like on Okinawa, when the Tojos came at me
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295. faster than I could gut them,
so I had to gut them faster.
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296. You were never on Okinawa.
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297. Yes, I was.
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298. Then you were never in Munich!
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299. Yes, I was.
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300. Morning, Hank.
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301. Scrambled. Black. Sports page.
You got five minutes.
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302. Oh, God! It was all lies.
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303. Why did I ever believe him?
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304. Why did I ever think that I could walk?
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305. Don't talk like that, Peggy.
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306. So I was right. That's not important now.
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307. What is important is that
you get right back up on that horse.
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308. There you go.
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309. Pass me Cotton's application.
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310. He may rot in hell,
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311. but he will not rot
in the Texas State Cemetery!
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312. Colonel, from your dress and demeanor,
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313. can I assume you're about
to take your own life
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314. in a cheap motel room
with your service revolver?
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315. No cigar, Gribble!
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316. I'm headed over
to the Texas State Cemetery.
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317. You can't wear that to my hearing.
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318. Don't worry, Cotton. I won't.
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319. Well, good. Go change and meet me there.
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320. And show some leg.
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321. They ain't got much tone,
but gams is gams.
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322. Let's go, Hank.
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323. I just talked to Ramsey.
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324. He said he'll take you back,
but he's got to warn you,
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325. Mrs. Flores is already
combing her own hair
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326. so don't get jealous.
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327. Who's ready to for a sponge bath?
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328. Yo.
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329. Let's see. Bicep curls.
Where did we leave off?
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330. Five pounds.
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331. I'd like the half-pounders, please.
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332. Okay. Let's get busy.
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333. Just kidding. Let's take it slow.
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334. For your portrayal of Dr. Jerry Kenderson
on TV's Dallas, 1984 to 1986,
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335. we proudly assign you, Barry Jenner,
cemetery plot 4, section K.
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336. Oh, thank you.
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337. They're going to run out of graves
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338. That concludes today's business.
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339. The Texas State Cemetery commission
will reconvene in six months...
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340. Hold on! You fellas
got one more man to bury.
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341. All right. Pass up your application.
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342. Oh. Well, I don't have it on me
at the moment.
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343. It's being crippled over.
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344. Give me another minute. Please.
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345. I'm afraid that's impossible.
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346. No! No! No!
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347. Not the gavel. Don't bang the...
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348. Doesn't count. Meeting is not adjourned.
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349. Way to go, Peggy. You're doing just great.
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350. Would you please stop yelling at me?
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351. What was I thinking? Munich? Rat tails?
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352. He's no hero.
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353. He was just torturing me.
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354. He is a complete fraud.
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355. What? What are you muttering?
Are you actually trying to defend him?
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356. I said that "fraud"
used to be six-foot-four.
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357. So?
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358. When he came back from the Pacific,
he was five-foot even.
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359. A Japanese machine gun
blew away his shins.
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360. The doctor said he'd never walk again.
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361. Eighteen months later,
he walked right over to that doctor,
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362. reached up and punched him in the kidneys.
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363. Now, I can't prove
what he did at those battles.
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364. In fact, I don't even know
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365. if that part about
hitting the doctor is true,
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366. but I do know
that my dad doesn't have shins.
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367. And somehow, he walks.
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368. And that's pretty heroic to me.
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369. And that is what I was muttering.
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370. I'm an old man. I've got a newborn son.
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371. I can't let him visit me
in a civilian cemetery.
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372. What kind of a place is that
for a child's birthday party?
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373. Mr. Chairman, the chair recognizes
Mrs. Peggy Hill.
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374. In deference to the committee's
busy schedule,
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375. I have chosen to highlight only a few
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376. of Cotton Hill's many acts of bravery
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377. at Guam, the Solomon Islands,
Sardinia and Okinawa.
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378. Dang it, woman. You forgot Munich.
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379. You were never in Munich.
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380. I wasn't?
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381. Oh.
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382. Dad. "Stephen Austin."
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383. Is that the bionic guy or the wrestler?
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384. I found it!
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385. It's a lovely grave, Cotton.
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386. You deserve it.
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387. Ain't you coming, Hank's wife?
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388. That's okay.
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389. I can see it from here!
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390. Not the same. Out of the chair!
Let's go! Start climbing!
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391. But I...
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392. I can't.
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393. What do you mean, you can't?
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394. You mean you won't,
'cause you're weak and lazy!
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395. Cotton, please...
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396. I climbed the cliffs of Normandy
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397. with a 50-pound ice-cream maker
strapped to my back,
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398. and you're telling me
you can't climb a stupid little hill?
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399. All right, Cotton.
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400. Look, I know what you're doing,
but I am very tired...
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401. You get to the top of that hill,
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402. and I'll let you dance on my grave.
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403. Let's go!
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404. Move it! Move it!
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405. Come on!
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406. Come on!
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407. Cotton...
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408. may I have this dance?
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409. Oh!
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410. Oh!
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411. I can't hear you!
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