1. Wa-hoo! Yip-yip-yip-yip!Copy !req
2. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
3. Shouldn't she be wearing a life vest?Copy !req
4. No!Copy !req
5. Let's go, Kahn Junior!Copy !req
6. I'll see you later, Bobby.Copy !req
7. Wait. I can ride home with you.Copy !req
8. We could sit in the back and hold hands.Copy !req
9. Maybe next time.Copy !req
10. My mom's got this new moisturizer
I've been sneaking.Copy !req
11. Very smooth...Copy !req
12. My hands are still pruny.Copy !req
13. It wouldn't be fair to you.Copy !req
14. What?Copy !req
15. You still haven't told him we're dating.Copy !req
16. It's not you, Bobby.Copy !req
17. It's just... my dad has his heart set
on me going out with Chane Wassanasong.Copy !req
18. Who Wasnasong?Copy !req
19. Chane. He's Laotian.Copy !req
20. But does he make you laugh?Copy !req
21. You are getting sleepy... sleepy.Copy !req
22. You will tell your parents about us,Copy !req
23. and you will quit smoking.Copy !req
24. I'll tell them. I promise.Copy !req
25. Son, why is there a towel on your head?Copy !req
26. You, sir, are getting sleepy.Copy !req
27. From now on,
you will buy only brand-name cola.Copy !req
28. Just go change.Copy !req
29. Hey, Boomhauer!Copy !req
30. Peggy won't let me in her car.Copy !req
31. Can I go home with you?Copy !req
32. No way, man.Copy !req
33. You know, dang ol' last-hour rays, man.Copy !req
34. You know, never does, no sun
on the dark side of the moon, man.Copy !req
35. No, go home, with Gribble.Copy !req
36. Okay. Call me later if you want to talkCopy !req
37. about how much fun we had today.Copy !req
38. Bobby, have you seen Luanne?Copy !req
39. No, she's my cousin.Copy !req
40. I'm gonna ride home with Joseph.Copy !req
41. Oh, man.Copy !req
42. What did she look like? Come on, come on.Copy !req
43. I don't want to think about it.Copy !req
44. She's got big boobs, doesn't she?Copy !req
45. - Yes!
- I knew it!Copy !req
46. Luanne is practically my sister.Copy !req
47. I'm not supposed to see her
in that state of affairs.Copy !req
48. I just got to get that picture
out of my head.Copy !req
49. Put it in my head.Copy !req
50. Tell me everything.Copy !req
51. Was she wearing high heels?Copy !req
52. She wasn't wearing anything!Copy !req
53. Oh, man.Copy !req
54. I'm going to picture her in high heels.Copy !req
55. Oh.Copy !req
56. I got a dang ol'...Copy !req
57. Huh?Copy !req
58. Uh-oh.Copy !req
59. Hey, Bobby, uh...Copy !req
60. I thought we could
walk to school together today.Copy !req
61. We walk to school together every day,Copy !req
62. and we don't leave for another 20 minutes.Copy !req
63. I can't go back home.Copy !req
64. My dad already armed the perimeter.Copy !req
65. Hey, Luanne...Copy !req
66. Hi.Copy !req
67. Yeah.Copy !req
68. Yo, ma'am.Copy !req
69. What you looking at, man?Copy !req
70. Desert... know what my problem is.Copy !req
71. - Hey. Up. Oh.Copy !req
72. Eh, what you doin', man?Copy !req
73. I'm talkin' in a bad way, man.
Ain't got no flip-flops.Copy !req
74. Walk across the street
like a dang ol' hot coals, man.Copy !req
75. Dogs barking like a dead chickenCopy !req
76. running around with his head cut off, man.Copy !req
77. Head cut off.Copy !req
78. Ooh.Copy !req
79. So I'm walking to my truckCopy !req
80. and bam, right into a spider web.Copy !req
81. I sneezed for a half an hour.Copy !req
82. My class was canceled,
and the library was closed.Copy !req
83. I love college.Copy !req
84. - Hey, Bobby...Copy !req
85. I thought I'd come over and help you
with your math homework.Copy !req
86. We're kind of in the middle
of dinner right now.Copy !req
87. I'll wait.Copy !req
88. Hey, Luanne.Copy !req
89. Yeah, hi.Copy !req
90. Patient exhibiting classic signs
of schizophrenia.Copy !req
91. - I wake up... sunburn... Where I am...
- Verbal salad,Copy !req
92. disregard for personal hygiene,
possibly a threat to himself.Copy !req
93. and go home, man, what do you say?Copy !req
94. Recommendation...Copy !req
95. 72-hour involuntary commitment.Copy !req
96. Oh, dang.Copy !req
97. Okay, Boomhauer, you win.Copy !req
98. I promise not to tell Hank. What?Copy !req
99. You're where?Copy !req
100. The booby hatch?Copy !req
101. Wait... the gentleman's club
or the mental hospital?Copy !req
102. Oh, my God!Copy !req
103. There must have been
some kind of misunderstanding.Copy !req
104. Oh, there was?Copy !req
105. I'll be right there.Copy !req
106. Oh, come on. Where you going?Copy !req
107. I'm not leaving without my kiss.Copy !req
108. I can wait.Copy !req
109. I can destroy you.Copy !req
110. "Mrs. Johnson's bag has six puppies,Copy !req
111. and Mr. Peterson's bag
has minus four puppies."Copy !req
112. Good night,
Uncle Hank, Aunt Peggy.Copy !req
113. She's going to bed.Copy !req
114. Maybe I could see her naked
when she's changing.Copy !req
115. I wish you could get that excited
about my math homework.Copy !req
116. - Going to bed, Luanne?
- Nope. First I got to shower.Copy !req
117. Joseph, my parents
are right down the hall.Copy !req
118. Why don't your doors have keyholes?Copy !req
119. You're really starting to creep me out.Copy !req
120. Now, go home.Copy !req
121. Bobby, it's perfectly natural
to want to see a woman naked,Copy !req
122. but I am your cousin.Copy !req
123. Now, the first time was an accident,Copy !req
124. but if I catch you again,
you are going to hell.Copy !req
125. Are you crazy? We're going to get caught.Copy !req
126. - I could go to hell.
- I can't help myself.Copy !req
127. I got a monkey on my back,
and it wants to see Luanne naked.Copy !req
128. Okay, one quick look and then you go home.Copy !req
129. Ah, I can't see anything.
It's all fogged up.Copy !req
130. Too bad. She likes hot showers.Copy !req
131. - Does she?
- Give me those.Copy !req
132. Joseph?Copy !req
133. - Uh-oh.
- Bobby?Copy !req
134. Bobby!Copy !req
135. Hey, Connie.Copy !req
136. How dare you, Bobby.Copy !req
137. Peeping at me is bad enough,Copy !req
138. but bringing your friend over
to scope me out, too?Copy !req
139. Connie, please, you don't...Copy !req
140. Is this what you're looking for?Copy !req
141. - Is this what you came to see?Copy !req
142. Well, take a good look, you pervs.Copy !req
143. You disgust me.Copy !req
144. Honest, Connie, we weren't looking at you.
We were looking at...Copy !req
145. - Birds.
- Birds?Copy !req
146. Joseph and I were looking at birds.Copy !req
147. We were bird-watching.Copy !req
148. At night?Copy !req
149. You know a better time to see an owl?Copy !req
150. Or... a...Copy !req
151. Bat. A-a bat?Copy !req
152. You're not only a pervert. You're a liar.Copy !req
153. I'm a liar?Copy !req
154. Have you told your parents we're dating
like you said you would?Copy !req
155. No... and maybe now I don't have to.Copy !req
156. - Maybe you don't.
- Maybe I don't.Copy !req
157. - Oops.Copy !req
158. Hey, look.Copy !req
159. Okay, smoking break's over.Copy !req
160. Last one inside loses internet privileges.Copy !req
161. To be or not to be,
that is the question...Copy !req
162. Hey. You. Crazy guy.Copy !req
163. I'll give you a smoke
if you trade clothes with me.Copy !req
164. Boomhauer?Copy !req
165. Oh, man, ol' dang about time,
Gribble, man.Copy !req
166. Go hit the road, man.Copy !req
167. Infiltration of mental hospital complete.Copy !req
168. Proceed to phase two...Copy !req
169. ex-filtration of mental hospital.Copy !req
170. Apparently, this door has some sort
of anti-opening device.Copy !req
171. Aah!Copy !req
172. I don't remember
my locker combination.Copy !req
173. Connie keeps track of that kind of stuff,Copy !req
174. and she's still icing me out...
trying to get me to crack.Copy !req
175. You can't tell her the truth.Copy !req
176. What are you going to say?Copy !req
177. You let me cop a look
at your naked cousin?Copy !req
178. - Oh.
- Hey, Connie.Copy !req
179. Bobby.Copy !req
180. Come on, baby, don't be that way.Copy !req
181. Why don't you come over tonight?Copy !req
182. I got a new laser pointer.Copy !req
183. Sorry, Bobby. I have plans.Copy !req
184. No, wait.Copy !req
185. I'm not sorry.Copy !req
186. Which is why so many people
are suddenly allergic to peanuts.Copy !req
187. The peanuts are emitting toxins
as an evolutionary defense mechanism.Copy !req
188. They're tired of being eaten,Copy !req
189. - and now they're fighting back.
- I see.Copy !req
190. Anyhoo... I just stopped by
to pick up my buddy Boomhauer.Copy !req
191. You see, we're both in here by mistake.Copy !req
192. Now, I can't vouch for Boomhauer,Copy !req
193. but I am most definitely not crazy.Copy !req
194. Go on.Copy !req
195. Did you just say "Go, mom"?Copy !req
196. Now who's the crazy one?Copy !req
197. Uh-huh... Uh-huh...Copy !req
198. Did you try telling them
you're not crazy? Uh-huh.Copy !req
199. No, I don't see any reason
why Hank has to know. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
200. Can I tell Boomhauer?Copy !req
201. No.Copy !req
202. - Okay. I'll be right there.Copy !req
203. - Huh?Copy !req
204. Connie SouphanousinphoneCopy !req
205. meet Chane Wassanasong.Copy !req
206. You are much more beautiful
than your picture led me to believe.Copy !req
207. What picture?Copy !req
208. I send him picture... so what?Copy !req
209. Go have great time.Copy !req
210. Chane, maybe we can sit
in the backseat and hold hands?Copy !req
211. Now, I know this is going
to sound crazy...Copy !req
212. pardon me, "insane"...Copy !req
213. but two of my best friendsCopy !req
214. have been accidentally committed
to this nuthouse.Copy !req
215. I'll get the doctor on call, just...Copy !req
216. don't let anyone touch my scissors.Copy !req
217. Mm?Copy !req
218. Oh, man, I can't take it anymore.Copy !req
219. Talkin' about that old crazy roommateCopy !req
220. tryin' to get me to old swallow
my dang old tongue.Copy !req
221. Hold that thought... I think I hear Bill.Copy !req
222. It's just that in the alley,
no one cares what I have to say.Copy !req
223. But here, I feel heard and accepted...Copy !req
224. And dare I say... loved?Copy !req
225. - Ping-pong?
- Yo.Copy !req
226. - Have a nice time?Copy !req
227. Bobby?Copy !req
228. Did he win that for you at the carnival?Copy !req
229. No. Um, Chane collects them, but, uh,Copy !req
230. otherwise, he's the man of my dreams,
and I'm going to marry him.Copy !req
231. - You can't.
- Why not?Copy !req
232. Oh, all right...Copy !req
233. We weren't bird-watching...
we were peeping.Copy !req
234. Now, call off the wedding!Copy !req
235. Well, thank you
for finally telling the truth.Copy !req
236. Yeah, but we weren't peeping at you.Copy !req
237. I accidentally saw Luanne naked
at the river, and I told Joseph.Copy !req
238. And he got jealous
'cause he's in love with her,Copy !req
239. so then he wanted to see her naked,
and I said okay,Copy !req
240. but just for a little,
and then you caught us.Copy !req
241. So you weren't peeping at me?Copy !req
242. You got to believe me, Connie...
I would never peep at you.Copy !req
243. Never, ever.Copy !req
244. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.Copy !req
245. I mean, who would want to look at me
when they could look at her?Copy !req
246. I would!Copy !req
247. Not through a window or anythingCopy !req
248. but in the same room together.Copy !req
249. I mean, you are my girlfriend...
aren't you?Copy !req
250. Yes.Copy !req
251. Well, that's what boyfriends
and girlfriends do...Copy !req
252. they take off their clothes,
and then they look at each other naked.Copy !req
253. I... guess.Copy !req
254. Sure they do!Copy !req
255. I mean, don't you want to see me naked?Copy !req
256. Okay.Copy !req
257. Oh, really? Hmm...Copy !req
258. - Well, if you don't want to...
- No, it's... T-tell you what...Copy !req
259. maybe we could just start
with our shirts, you know?Copy !req
260. What's the rush?
We got our whole lives ahead of us.Copy !req
261. Okay. You first.Copy !req
262. Okay...Copy !req
263. You've got a pretty body.Copy !req
264. Thank you.Copy !req
265. Here goes...Copy !req
266. So, how was date with Chane...Copy !req
267. - Kahn, what's going... no!Copy !req
268. Oh, my...Copy !req
269. Repeat after me...Copy !req
270. Bobby Hill is not your boyfriend.Copy !req
271. - Chane Wassanasong is your boyfriend.
- No, he's not.Copy !req
272. Chane Wassanasong is your boyfriend.Copy !req
273. Mom, we had one date.Copy !req
274. - I don't even like...
- Chane Wassanasong...Copy !req
275. Chane Wassanasong is a boring know-it-allCopy !req
276. who only talks about himself
and cheats at miniature golf.Copy !req
277. I don't want to date him.
I want to date Bobby.Copy !req
278. Ha-ha! You think that boy have future?Copy !req
279. That not baby fat... that permanent.Copy !req
280. Kahn Jr., you leave me no choice.Copy !req
281. You are grounded!Copy !req
282. And Bobby Hill is not allowed
on my property.Copy !req
283. First you cop a look a Luanne,Copy !req
284. then you see Connie naked?Copy !req
285. Man, when did you become such a player?Copy !req
286. I didn't see Connie naked.
I only saw her belly button.Copy !req
287. - How was it?
- Incredible!Copy !req
288. But I'll never see it again.Copy !req
289. Connie's grounded,
and when my dad hears about this,Copy !req
290. he's going to ground me, too.Copy !req
291. You'll be stuck in the house
all day with Luanne?Copy !req
292. Mmm-mmm-mmm.Copy !req
293. We got to get out of here.Copy !req
294. The smoking breaks are too short,Copy !req
295. the food is good, at best,Copy !req
296. and the antidepressants
are making my mouth dry and happy.Copy !req
297. Can I get some glitter, please?Copy !req
298. Why don't we just call Hank?Copy !req
299. No! Hank must never know we were in here.Copy !req
300. Our society stigmatizes
the mentally ill...Copy !req
301. And rightly so. These people are nuts!Copy !req
302. If we're ever going to bust out of here,
we'll need our wits about usCopy !req
303. so from now on, no more taking pills.Copy !req
304. We're going to save them up
and then sell them to the guards.Copy !req
305. And with that money, we'll buy a rope.Copy !req
306. Dale, man, you're talking about
a stupid plan, never gonna work.Copy !req
307. Oh, really? You have a better idea?Copy !req
308. Yeah, man, I'll tell you what, man...Copy !req
309. 'bout every day around 2:15,
man, that old laundry truckCopy !req
310. coming on them coffee break,
man, all we do...Copy !req
311. Nothing to it, man.Copy !req
312. Ha-ha!Copy !req
313. That is the worst plan I have ever heard.Copy !req
314. But this is a democracy
so we'll put it to a vote.Copy !req
315. All in favor of Boomhauer's plan...Copy !req
316. I must admit,
I'm surprised by the results.Copy !req
317. I figured I had at least my support.Copy !req
318. Well, what are you going to do?Copy !req
319. Hey, Kahn, I thought I heard
someone mixing concrete.Copy !req
320. Oh, that's right. I'm building fence...Copy !req
321. big fence, eight feet tall...Copy !req
322. between your house and my house.Copy !req
323. Eight feet, huh?Copy !req
324. Yeah... you see, Kahn,
in this neighborhoodCopy !req
325. side fences have to be
five foot six or under.Copy !req
326. It's not in the code or anything...
it's just something I'm trying to enforce.Copy !req
327. You really want to help me, Hank Hill?Copy !req
328. You keep your dirty little boy's hands
off my innocent genius daughter.Copy !req
329. Now, what's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
330. Last night, I catch Bobby
half-naked in Connie's room.Copy !req
331. - Bobby?
- Truth about your little boyCopy !req
332. not so pretty after all, is it, Hank Hill?Copy !req
333. He girl-crazy sex fiend.Copy !req
334. Well, that boy's going to get
a talking to, I tell you what.Copy !req
335. Ron.Copy !req
336. - Huh?Copy !req
337. Okay, man, come on in. Move, move, move!Copy !req
338. How did they find out about this?Copy !req
339. Uh, I might have mentioned
something in group.Copy !req
340. Dang ol'...Copy !req
341. First one to regain consciousness
calls Hank.Copy !req
342. All right, I just spoke with your doctor.Copy !req
343. Boomhauer, you were kept
for the mandatory 72 hoursCopy !req
344. and since you don't seem to be a threat
to yourself or others, you're free to go.Copy !req
345. All right, man!Copy !req
346. Hank, man.Copy !req
347. Uh, Dale, you were never actually admittedCopy !req
348. so you're also free to go,Copy !req
349. but, uh, the doctor thinks that you should
keep on taking your medication.Copy !req
350. Easier to swallow.Copy !req
351. And Bill, the doctor says that
since you checked yourself in voluntarily,Copy !req
352. you can leave whenever you want.Copy !req
353. Yeah, I know.
But I think I'll stay a few more days.Copy !req
354. I'm making some real progress here.Copy !req
355. - Bill, just get in the truck.
- No!Copy !req
356. I learned in group that
I sacrifice my feelings too easily.Copy !req
357. My feelings are valid, Hank.Copy !req
358. I'm valid.Copy !req
359. Oh... I made this for you.Copy !req
360. You will call Chane Wassanasong
and apologize for not calling sooner.Copy !req
361. Here. I wrote out Laotian
chitchat for you.Copy !req
362. Make sure you use honorific verb form.Copy !req
363. Oh, you think this is funny?Copy !req
364. Not many Laotian boys in Arlen.Copy !req
365. Don't piss this away!Copy !req
366. Go ahead... try to sneak
into my daughter's room now...Copy !req
367. Stupid redneck.Copy !req
368. Bobby... Bobby!Copy !req
369. Connie! Come down here!Copy !req
370. I miss you.Copy !req
371. I can't move or I'll set off
my dad's security light.Copy !req
372. Don't move!Copy !req
373. Dad, what are you doing here?Copy !req
374. I was just getting the guys
out of the insane asylum.Copy !req
375. What are you doing here?Copy !req
376. The, uh, ten-footer ought to do it.Copy !req
377. The middle one.Copy !req
378. Hurry, Bobby!Copy !req
379. I know a couple of those words.Copy !req
380. - I better go.Copy !req
381. Bye. Whoa!Copy !req
382. I see you.Copy !req
383. Kahn see everything!Copy !req
384. You know, you're not too big
to be spanked you dirty little hillbilly.Copy !req
385. Aunt Peggy!Copy !req
386. Mr. Kahn saw me naked!Copy !req
387. Aw, man...Copy !req
388. Did you just say "Go, Mom"?Copy !req